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all your life you felt a very strong sensation of deja vu that you could not explain. you tried meditation, yoga, different activities you thought you were never able to do - but the feeling was still there. so you had to live with it, even though it bugged you every day.
“remember me, because i will never stop searching for you.”
after you discovered you were a jujutsu sorcerer a few years back, you thought that all the things finally were in their place, but you were wrong. after you discovered the world of curses, you started having dreams.
"nightmares" you would tell other people when they asked, but for you, they were never nightmares. a nightmare was supposed to describe an ugly monster, someone evil with blood thirst, so why were you dreaming about a charming man with a beautiful smile and enchanting red eyes?
at first, these dreams were strange, short, and out of context, but then they started to take shape, lasting longer, and having a coherent narrative thread. but you still haven't managed to figure out who that man was. it was strange really, dreaming about someone you hadn’t even met before. you felt a connection with him, your heart telling you that you have to be close to him, but your mind was telling you to run.
you thought you were going crazy at some point. you remembered every simple detail from every simple dream, but deep down you enjoyed your little “nightmares”, because unconsciously you were waiting for your man with red eyes. you were waiting for him to come back to you, even though you never met him.
they were different every time, the dreams. but one thing was the same in all of them.
him.
the eyes that looked at you lovingly, his soft voice when he was speaking with you, a hand over your waist just to keep you close. you never knew his real name, always calling him nicknames and calling you ‘princess’.
“kuna, come here!” you shouted, making a hand gesture at the man. he smiled when looking at you, making his way over.
he took a seat beside you, under the cherry blossom tree. the spring season just started and the scenery looked breathtaking. blue clear sky, pink petals, and red, beautiful eyes.
“why are you here so early, princess? you were supposed to rest,” he stated, his hand making his way to hug you, playing with your delicate fingers. you could see he was concerned.
but why? you did not remember. that was the moment you woke up and that was all you recalled. but now, every time you saw a cherry blossom tree you thought about the sweet dream you had.
“kuna, you think we will be together forever?” you recalled telling him one day when the two of you were cuddling under the well-known tree. he was reading a book with one hand, the other playing with your hair.
“i’m sure, princess, that we will. i’ll make sure of that” was his reply, smiling sweetly at you.
“they don’t give me that much time, though.”
you were slowly dying, or better said, your dream version was. the few dreams you had about this were very sad and painful, a strong feeling of recognition being present in your gut.
“when i’m no more, please take good care of yourself.”
the dreams started being more unsettling, more dark, and very apathetic. you started taking pills just to be able to sleep a few hours a day, but after some time you stopped taking them, not working anymore.
and so when gojo satoru asked for your help regarding a cursed object, you agreed.
‘maybe working hard on this boring thing will make me sleepy enough.’ you thought on your way to tokyo, ready to help the handsome sorcerer who proposed the mission. it was not your cup of tea, but knowing him, he would never shut up about that and in the end, you would still help him.
“you remember the first time we met?” he asked, taking a small piece of your hair in his hands, and proceeding to kiss it a moment after.
“you mean the time when you almost killed me?”
“fuck, you know i regret that princess.” he hissed, leaning forward to brush a flower petal that was stuck in your hair clip. “just pretend that was not the first time we met.” he continued, looking away.
you giggled softly, taking his big hands into your cold ones. it was summer now, but you were getting colder as the days went by. you lover was concerned, but he had enough hope that a miracle would happen and make you healthy again.
you never believed in hope.
“how can i do that, my love? that was the time i fell in love with you.” was your response, now your turn to kiss his knuckles.
“i still find myself asking how such a wonderful person as you fell in love with a crazy and broken person like me.” the red-eyed stranger muttered, letting his head rest on yours.
“maybe because i’m too, crazy and broken.”
as you walked your way to jujutsu high, a school that took you under their wing to teach you how to control your power, memories started flowing inside of your head. unfortunately, you had to move right after graduating and never had the time to stay in touch with your childhood friends: shoko, satoru, and… suguru.
you felt bad for what happened because you weren’t there for them and chose to leave them behind when they needed someone to cry to. you would never forgive yourself for that.
“yo, [name]. long time no see.” a white hair shouted in your direction.
“indeed, gojo. i would say i missed you crackhead ass but i would be lying,” you responded to your long friend, making your way to him to hug him. letting hi8s infinity down, he took you into his arms, spinning you a few times,
“relentless as usual, it's good to know that you haven't changed at all” he added, putting your weight down back on the drown. “still having problems with sleep?”
“yeah. stopped taking the pills too, naked them worse.”
“tell shoko that, she started having the same problem.” was his response, but he continued, never letting you adventuring further into the conversation. “let’s go to yaga, i’m sure he is waiting for us. also, you need to meet megumi, he heard a lot about you.”
“i hope good things-” you asked, but seeing gojo’s face making a grin you let out an annoyed sigh, “satoru!”
“good things, very good things. the only thing i told him was that you were in love with sakura flowers.” he laughed.
“you look so funny, ‘kuna” you giggled, eyeing the handsome man in front of you.
“you and your damn flowers, my love. when did you have time for this?” ‘kuna asked, taking his flower crown from his head and putting it on his lap.
“last night. i thought about your pretty pinkish hair and how the sakura flowers would look through it.” was your answer, making your way to steal a kiss from him.
”i wish i could look at this every day and night.” you continued, looking at his frame with admiration and affection.
“be my wife”
“what?”
“be my wife. fuck it, no. be my queen,” he repeated himself, placing the flower crown that stood on his lap onto your hair. he made you speechless. his what?
the high school was packed with kids, remembering you about your childhood before becoming a full-time sorcerer. you and megumi had the task to identify where the cursed object was and bring it back to the principal. simple as that, right?
“fucking hell, where the fuck is this thing?”
it was not simple. not at all. you spent almost all day looking for what? a finger? you regretted coming back to tokyo now.
“cheer up. we will find it.” megumi comforted you, giving you a soft look. he was right, you just needed to look a bit more.
“i don’t want to die” you confessed, looking down at your bloody hands.
deadly. you had a deadly sickness.
the cough you've had all your life suddenly got worse one day, and now, standing in your childhood bed full of blood you coughed up a few minutes ago, you could tell that it was not a pleasant sight at all.
you wanted your last moments to be at the cherry blossom tree, with your lover, watching over the moon at peace, not in your blood-covered bed surrounded by doctors and crying women.
‘please, god. give me strength to remain alive just enough to see my lover again. the beautiful man i fell in love with.” you praised, closing your eyes and letting a tear glide down on your cold cheek.
the situation was very fucked up, the curses were everywhere and you and megumi had no idea where the cursed object was anymore.
earlier, you two met yuji itadori, a high school kid able to see curses, but now you did not know where he was either. you and megumi were separated and even though you searched for him you could find him anywhere.
‘maybe the roof?”
and so you got there, and oh man, you did not like the view. a gigantic, ugly-looking curse and yuji, in between his fingers. that was a moment your heart stopped for a minute, looking for megumi a few seconds later.
“megumi. where is the finger?”
“yuji. he has it” and at that moment, you saw something that you were never imagining to witness.
yuji ate the fucking cursed finger.
“sukuna” your voice was low, almost like a whisper.
“princess. what in the world happened? how? i-”
“no. ‘kuna, let me say goodbye-” you wanted to tell him, but the red-eye man in front of you interrupted you harshly, taking your cold hand in his warm one, giving it a lovely squeeze.
“no. i’m not going to accept that. what goodbye, my princess? you would not die.” he started lying to himself, almost too afraid to accept the situation.
“it’s not something new, sukuna. i knew this would happen eventually… so i’m not surprised. but i wish, for one thing, my love. please, let me wish for just one thing.”
there was a silence. now, in the peace of the night with your lover, you were obligated to give your last breath, and so you wanted no regrets.
“i love you. i will always love you and i will be born again. i know it’s selfish for me to ask this, god please forgive me, but i wish to be selfish one time in my life.”
the moon was shining bright on the black sky, and the stars were screening for another sister, ready to give her a peaceful death.
“sukuna… let me be your queen in my next life.”
looking now at the man in front of you, you could see a familiarity that yuji didn’t have before. yuji was yuji, but the yuji in front of you, even though he looked like himself, was not the high school boy you met earlier in the day.
red eyes.
the red eyes looked at yours with a familiar feeling, as if he already knew your eyes and had already looked into them a million times by now. the same eyes ‘he’ looked at you on your deathbed.
“sukuna”