Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

    This is ridiculous. There can't be no one out here.

    Can there?

    Klaus shakes his head and runs one hand through his hair. Continue straight on Farm-to-Market Road 969 for three miles, his GPS chimes cheerfully, and he's beginning to think maybe he put in the address wrong. He'd known his uncle lived in a little backwater nothing town, but he hasn't passed another car even driving away from this tiny place in almost an hour. This can't be real. This can't be right. He's going to get axe-murdered out here.

    Unfortunately, his GPS beeps ominously at him, and when he tears his eyes off of the unending iron-dark road, he finds that it claims there's no signal.

    "Great," he mutters, signaling to turn into the little gas station just up ahead. He needs gas anyways, what's a trip inside to ask for directions?

    A lot, according to the several old men who glare at him. He supposes it's the outfit: cuffed coffee-colored corduroy pants and a beige short-sleeved button up, halfway undone over a t-shirt with a print of a flower. At least he looks better than them, in their beat-up jeans and Hawaiian-print short-sleeve button-ups. Eventually, as he fills his little Cooper up with gas and gives them a withering look in return, they pile into their trucks and drive off. The gas station's radio is playing Jim Croce, tinny and distorted, but he piles back in his car and turns on his Lord Huron CD. He supposes he'll drive until he finds something that somewhat resembles civilization, and ask for directions there. Worst-case scenario, he runs out of road and ends up in somewhere nice. Like Houston. Or Galveston. Somewhere with a recognizable and pronounceable name, preferably with more than just a few old white men to call it home.

    He's back on the road when he notices the sign that says Honeysuckle, six miles. That's where he's going -- he thinks. Either way, if it's nice enough to need a sign, there has to at least be a Walmart, or something. For now, it's back to burning more rubber on the road as he sighs and runs his hand through his hair again.

    It's bad enough that he's out here in the first place -- does it have to be for the whole summer? He has better things to do -- like start college early, or work to save money for later. Uncle Montgomery can't possibly need that much help on his farm that Klaus has to schlep out and do it. There are plenty of people around here to help. 

   He's tired, most of all. Being cooped up in a sandy Mini Cooper, though very pleasant and fashionable in a big city, is not fun when the only things around for miles are trees, cows and barb-wire. Houses start to pop up closer to the road, a sign he's getting closer to the town, and there's the Subway. He's officially in Honeysuckle, according to the cheery Welcome! sign on the side of the road. Klaus rolls his eyes and makes a beeline for the parking lot of the Walmart. He cuts the engine and steps out onto the pavement, taking a glance around at his surroundings, then down at his phone.

    It's a lot of trucks, he notices, but that's just Texas. There were trucks back home -- but this is a lot of trucks. The parking lot is almost exclusively trucks in every color, make, and model. He pauses to stare at a maroon one with a pride flag bumper sticker affixed to the back before he strolls through the door of the Walmart. 

   The customer service counter seems like an obvious choice, so he waits for a woman with frosted tips to stop yelling at a young woman with long, caramel-colored hair and a supremely bored expression. Her nametag says Isadora when he gets close enough to read it, and she gives him a warm smile.

   "Hello, sugar," she says, "how can I help you?"

   "I need to get to Montgomery Montgomery's farm? I know that's not quite why you're here, but I thought I'd ask..." 

   "Monty?" she says, just as he's beginning to feel extremely stupid for asking. "Sure, sugar. He's--- oh! My brother's headin' over there, I could ask him to lead you." Klaus nods slowly, and Isadora turns over her shoulder. "DUNCAN!"

    "A'right, a'right," someone replies, emerging from the chip aisle with a bag of barbecue Lay's in his hand. "I ain't stealin'. Not this time."

   "Nah. Pay and get'cher ass over here." She shakes her head. "That boy could hear Johnny Cash callin' 'is name and still think one a'us is bustin' him for stealin'."

   "Mmm," Klaus hums, mainly because he doesn't know what else to do. He's still focused on the boy, now in line, and his near-flawless tanned skin and tawny colored hair. He could be a model if someone put him in something other than lightwash jeans and a t-shirt that reads WOMEN WANT ME, FISH FEAR ME. "Hello," Klaus says when he strides over, receipt in hand.

   "Hi," the boy-- Duncan-- replies, in a voice that drips from his tongue thick and sweet, like honey. "Ain't seen you 'round here before."

   "No, I'm from up by Dallas... I need to get to Montgomery's farm."

   Duncan gives him a once-over that seems almost appreciative before he says, "City mouse come out to watch us field mice slave away." Klaus barely suppresses the urge to roll his eyes. "A well-dressed city mouse at that. What's your daddy do?"

   "It's mom's money, actually. Heiress to a law firm." Duncan and Isadora give him twin snorts. "Look, I don't want to be here any more than you want it. So please just take me to the farm and I'll be gone the moment summer's over."

   "So, mid-October."

   "Early September." Duncan tilts his head from side to side, considering Klaus's words, and finally nods, though he looks decidedly unhappy about their arrangement. "If I had my way, I wouldn't be here."

   "Life ain't always gonna go your way, pretty boy. Best get used to my face, too, 'cause I'm your darlin' uncle's stable boy." Klaus almost groans, but turns it into a cough before Duncan can be offended and decide to swing. It would be a two-hit fight, Klaus thinks as they walk out the automatic doors into the oppressive late-afternoon heat: Duncan hitting Klaus, and Klaus hitting the floor. With those arms... Klaus shakes his head, trying to keep his mind on how dismissive Duncan was only moments before. 

   Duncan seems to be making a beeline for the maroon truck he'd spotted on the way in, with the pride flag. At least he's progressive. He hops up into the driver's seat and fires it up, and Klaus jumps at the way his truck growls, low and loud. He shakes his head again and walks a few spaces down to his Cooper, content to hear the purr of the engine. It doesn't do much to cut the rumble of Duncan's truck as he pulls into the open parking spot beside Klaus's car and nearly laughs out loud at the sight.

   "May baby Jesus have mercy on that car," he yells over his truck's engine. "It'll need it where we're going."

   Klaus does roll his eyes now. "Just take me to Uncle Monty's farm," he yells back, trying to ignore the way his heart skips when Duncan laughs, a bright sound that cuts the drone of both engines easily with how pleasant it is. He rolls the window back up and waits for Duncan's truck to back out before he follows. 

   They turn back onto the farm road, going back the way Klaus came from, to a gravel road Klaus hadn't noticed because of how many vines had grown over the barb wire and the gate set far back from the road.

   He's going to die, isn't he?

   Klaus closes his eyes and rests his forehead against the steering wheel as Duncan hops down from his truck. He's going to die, he thinks, and the anxious part of his brain latches onto that and makes his head and limbs go fuzzy. He lifts his head just in time to see Duncan give him a wide, white-toothed smile as he hoists himself back up into the cab of his truck. Klaus sighs and puts his car back into gear as he tries to ignore the image of Duncan's smile, complete with soft dimples, that seems etched into the insides of his eyelids. 

   How dare this hick make this experience so pleasant and not at the same time? Besides, they're ambling up the driveway, and Klaus is sixty-five percent sure his car is about to disintegrate with him in it. To add to this absolutely wonderful experience, a yellow Labrador comes bounding down the driveway, barking excitedly and following Klaus's car up to the strangely rectangular house nestled between two gorgeous, gigantic live oak trees. There's another dog here-- scratch that, two dogs: another yellow lab, this one looking blearily up from where it was apparently napping on a pile of old towels, and a little Jack Russell barking just as excitedly as the other lab. Duncan cuts his truck off and jumps down from the cab to rustle the first lab's ears and kiss its snout, laughing as it licks all over his face. Carefully, Klaus emerges from his Cooper, only to have his ankles assaulted by the Jack Russell.

   "That's Queenie," Duncan says over the cacophony: the other lab has joined in barking, and it's descending the stairs gingerly to investigate the new person. It's older than the other one, if the way it slightly limps over to him and the powdered-sugar face are anything to go by. He remembers this one.

   "Hi, Daisy," he says, dropping to his haunches and allowing her to sniff his hand for a moment. "Sweet girl."

   "This is Blazer," Duncan says, softer now that the dogs have stopped assailing their ears, and gesturing to the other lab. "He's a little mean, be careful." 

   "Hi," Klaus says gingerly, holding a closed fist out for Blazer to sniff. Queenie yelps at the lack of attention, and Klaus jumps a little, eliciting a soft laugh from Duncan. "Don't you have something better to do than laugh at me?"

   Duncan raises his hands in surrender. "I see how it is." He stalks off to a barn Klaus hadn't noticed before and wrenches the door open just as the screen door to the house opens up.

Chapter Text

    "That's Queenie," Montgomery says, gesturing to Queenie, and then at Blazer, "Blazer."

   "I've been introduced to the dogs already," Klaus replies in as polite of a tone as he can muster. "Your, um... he called himself a stable boy, Duncan---"

   "Ah, Duncan," Monty says, nodding knowingly. "Really sweet boy, y'know. Doc says my back's too bad to work the farm... actually, he's the one who asked for you. It's getting to be too much for just him." Abby makes a little whining noise in Monty's arms. "He feeds her extra treats, so she's got a bit of a thing for him." Monty winks.

   "Mmm," Klaus hums, absently rubbing Daisy's head when she shoves it under his hand.

   "Come in, come in. I know it's not quite your parents' penthouse, but it's home, and quite cozy if I do say so myself." Monty takes a little key out of his pocket and opens the door one-handed, gesturing for Klaus to enter before him. 

   The room before him is surprisingly dark, even though all the window blinds are open. The walls are halfway paneled with a dark stained wood, and the rest is a green and white striped wallpaper. There's an archway in front of him that leads into a kitchen, and another off to his left that opens on a hallway. The room before him is furnished well but sparsely, and all of it is brown: brown couch, brown armchairs, brown coffee table, brown TV stand (and an ancient brown TV), brown table and brown dining chairs, and brown carpet. Klaus is glad he decided to pack slippers, since this carpet looks... interesting, to say the least. The whole house smells vaguely of dog and cigarette smoke, even though Klaus knows Monty doesn't smoke.

   Cozy is indeed the right word for it, and Klaus is about seventy percent sure this whole house is smaller than his parents' kitchen. 

   "Your bedroom is down that hallway on the right, and the other door is your bathroom," Monty says, "and right ahead is the kitchen and the back door." Klaus nods, following Monty as he drops Abby on the couch and moves into the kitchen. "I won't be paying you much, but I'll cover room and board. Harder you work, the more I'll consider adding to your check."

   Klaus nods again.

   "Great. Outside." Monty moves out of the kitchen and out the back door onto a smaller version of the porch out front. "The barn is out front, of course, and back here is the wildflower field. This is where the chickens like to peck around, so watch your feet."

   Monty leads him around the side of the house to the front, where they stand on the driveway and stare down the gravel road towards town. "This is the driveway, obviously. We keep the gate closed most of the time, that's probably where Duncan's disappeared off to." His truck is still parked where he left it, but that's probably because Klaus parked directly behind him. He'll move it later, he thinks as Monty leads him towards the horse stables.

   "Horses," Monty says, gesturing to each one as he says, "Poseidon, Lily, Llama, and Kelly."

   "Llama?" Klaus asks, staring at the horse in question, who is definitely a horse and not a llama.

   "We used to have a llama named Horse."

   "Oh." Llama the Horse snorts at him as if to say, Duh, dumbass. "Did Duncan name any of them?"

   "Poseidon. He's big into Greek mythology or something like that." Poseidon makes a noise and Klaus steps back. "Oh, they won't bite. Unless you stick your fingers right near their mouth. Then they bite." Klaus shoves his hands in his pants pockets. 

   "Klaus seems to think everythin' bites," Duncan says, sauntering in and scratching between Poseidon’s ears. "I don't. 'Less you ask." He winks, and Klaus barely turns a groan into an innocuous coughing fit. Three full months of this? Klaus doesn't think he'll survive. Maybe if he just holes himself up in the chicken coop... even dealing with the horses seems preferable to dealing with Duncan. Llama the Horse stares him down until he reaches into the cloth bag hanging from a post and procures a carrot. 

   He watches Llama the Horse munch on the carrot rather than engaging in the conversation Monty and Duncan have gotten into about saddle shine and bridles. Duncan seems to be the quintessential cowboy, complete with a hat he seems to have conjured out of nowhere. Klaus always thought he'd like cowboys, having watched one too many movies on the subject of city girls falling in love with country boys, but Duncan isn't the sort of rough-and-tumble that the boys in those movies were. He's more like molasses where they were honey. The same in essence, but one is cheaper than the other.

   After a moment of talking to Duncan using words that even Klaus doesn't understand, Monty leads him out of the barn and away from Llama the Horse, who was attempting to bite Klaus's head in a feeble attempt to make him conjure more carrots. He'd managed to get a strand of Klaus's hair into his mouth, which was enough to make Klaus put a pep in his step towards the beehives.

   "They'll learn your face eventually," Monty says, gesturing around at the swarm of bees that seems to envelope them. "Just don't swat at them. That's when they sting you."

   "I'm allergic to bees," Klaus says nervously, making a point to stay outside the fence where the beehives sit. "This is a lot of bees, Uncle Monty."

   "Yeah. Maybe... ten thousand?"

   Klaus gulps.

   "That's the whole farm, if you want to go back inside," Monty says, gesturing back towards the house. "Go unpack. We're headed to Hector's tonight for dinner, so don't eat much."

   Instead of saying something else, Klaus scampers off to the door to the house and practically dives through his bedroom door before any stray bees might make it inside. His room is small and bare, and the walls are still the same half-paneled, half-papered as the rest of the house. There's only an iron bedframe and a mattress in the corner, along with a bookcase and a dresser. There's a full-length mirror attached to the back of the door that Klaus is sure he'll use a lot. This room smells less of dog and more of cigarette smoke, so he hopes there's Febreze at the Walmart. 

   He wanders back out into the living room and peers through the blinds to see if there are any bees buzzing around out front. When he finds only Duncan and Monty, he opens the door gingerly and makes his way over to his car. He pops the trunk and pulls out his suitcases. There's three of various sizes, and they're made of faux leather stretched over a hard shell. Someone moves up behind him, if the crunch of the gravel is any tell.

   "Fancy-dancy," Duncan's honeyed voice says, running a tanned hand over the top of the largest suitcase. "This ain't real leather, though."

   "Um... no, they're not. Vegan leather."

   Duncan snorts and murmurs something about the whole point and integrity under his breath. 

   "If you have something to say, I'd appreciate it if you could say it to my face."

   "Are all you city kids this abrasive?"

    Klaus's jaw drops and he lets all of his offense show on his face and in his voice as he says, "I'm sorry?" 

   "You... all you've been to me since we met is rude." Duncan's face is hurt, when Klaus can bear to meet his gaze, and though Klaus has a good amount of height on Duncan, he feels small right now. "I'm sorry, but..."

   "'City mouse come down to watch us field mice slave away,'" Klaus says quietly. "You said that earlier, when I mentioned I was from Dallas-- in the Walmart. Maybe I've been rude, and I'm sorry, but you have, too." Duncan sighs and cards a hand through his caramel curls. 

   After a moment of opening and closing his mouth like a fish, Duncan says, "I'm sorry," and Klaus knows he means it. "That was meant to be a joke-- and I know that's not much excuse, but I didn't know you'd think I was being mean. I asked for you-- Monty told you that, right?"

   "He did. I can't think of a reason why."

   "Four horses, a flock of chickens, and a whole-ass colony of bees ain't enough reason for you?"

   Klaus almost snorts, but ends up inhaling a floating bit of dirt or something and sneezes instead. 

   "Be quiet," Duncan says, smiling, then, "bless you. Need help?"

   Klaus looks at Duncan, then down at his bags that he struggled to get out of the trunk, then back at Duncan. "Sure," he says, shrugging. "Be--- oh."

   Before Klaus can finish a warning to be careful, Duncan takes the sides of the largest suitcase into his arms and lifts it up like it's made of helium. 

   "What'd you put in here, bricks?" he says, shifting it to a better position. "Lord."

   "That one's clothes." Klaus points to the middle of the trio. "That one's books, and the other one's everything else." 

   "I s'pose you do need a lot of clothes, if you make a habit of wearin' fun little outfits like the one you got on." Duncan makes a point of raking his eyes over Klaus's form. "Ooh, fancy shoes."

   "Custom," Klaus says, lifting one foot so Duncan can see the embroidery around the Converse logo. "I have a few pairs like this. They're in the duffel." Klaus pulls his black duffel bag from the very back of the trunk. "I'm going to have to make two trips."

   "Here, put it on here." Duncan lifts the suitcase in his arms in invitation. "I got it, I promise," he adds when Klaus looks at him skeptically.

   Klaus shakes his head, but places the duffel gently on top of the suitcase. "Now, really, be careful, please." Duncan smiles that winningly sweet smile at him before he starts off towards the house. Klaus slams the trunk shut before he hefts the smaller suitcase up like Duncan had, not trusting the wheels on the gravel driveway. Vaguely, he wonders if Monty is planning to have this driveway paved or not. It might be nicer on his poor Cooper.

   When he gets back inside the house, he finds Duncan staring at the living room in a similar way to how Klaus had when he first saw it.

   "I've never actually been in here," he says conversationally, turning to face Klaus at least enough that he's not facing the complete wrong way. "Where should I...?" 

   Instead of an answer, Klaus just steps around him and into his little room. Duncan follows, if his bootsteps muffled on the carpet are any indication. "On the bed is fine," Klaus says absently, setting the smallest suitcase on the floor in front of his bookcase and dropping into a sitting position on the floor before it. The thump of the suitcase on the mattress almost startles Klaus as he starts to unzip the suitcase in front of him, revealing his lovely, lovely book collection -- or, a portion of it. Most of his textbooks and less entertaining reads are at home, in Dallas, so the ones in his suitcase are fiction books of various genres and thicknesses. 

   "Hey, I've read that," Duncan says, pointing to Klaus's copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. "I liked Ford."

   Klaus lets his confusion show on his face.

   "What, you think this is some backwater town? Well -- it is, but -- we got a library. 'S downtown. Real nice selection. I'll take you sometime we're off work, in Maria."

   "I don't tend to enjoy being in women," Klaus says, eliciting a full-chested laugh from Duncan. "Hey! Don't laugh."

   "No, no, I don't either, but Maria ain't a woman. Not a human woman, anyway. Maria's my truck." Klaus feels his face go warm with shame. "Sorry, I-- I should have said somethin' sooner," Duncan says, rubbing the back of his neck and giving Klaus a very unfortunately attractive view of his triceps. 

   "I didn't realize it had a name," Klaus says, pulling out his copy of Red, White, and Royal Blue and setting it on the lowest shelf. 

   "Yours don't?"

   Klaus shakes his head and sets Alice in Wonderland on the next highest shelf, and beside it, Peter Pan. 

   "I s'pose that makes sense," Duncan murmurs. "You got all these fancy clothes, an' a fancy car, makes sense you wouldn't really think twice about it."

   "You care about your truck," Klaus says, feeling kind of like he's stating the obvious, but Duncan nods and sits down on the bare mattress. Peter and the Starcatchers goes next to the original Peter, and then all three of his Lord of the Rings. "I'm guessing physical objects are more valuable here."

   "Yeah. It's a big deal to get a new car or som'n like that." Klaus can't help but notice that Duncan's accent is getting thicker, for some reason. "But you get new ones every once in a while?"

   "Not really. I've had mine for... three years now? Since I got my license."

   Duncan snorts and smiles.

   "...You don't have a license, do you."

   "No, no, I do, but Maria's technically Monty's. I just borrow 'er so I can get to work." Duncan sighs and watches as Klaus places his books on the shelves with care. "I'm sorry I was mean to you earlier."

   Ah. So that's why he's still here. "It's fine." 

   Duncan sighs again. "Still."

   "No. Not still. You've already said you're sorry."

   There's a long pause in which the only sound is the quiet thunk of the books against the wood of Klaus's bookcase. He fills it up nearly all the way with his favorite titles and when he's done, he moves next to Duncan, who's still sitting on the edge of his mattress, and opens up his suitcase full of clothes. The top layer is all t-shirts with various things on the front. The one on the very top is a joke shirt Violet bought him that says THIS RIDE MAKES FREQUENT STOPS AT YOUR DAD'S HOUSE.

   "I have that one," Duncan says quietly, pointing to the shirt. "My sister bought it for me."

   "Mine, too."

   "Oh--- no, wait. Yours says 'dad's house,' mine says 'mom's.'" Duncan chuckles. "I have a lot like that. She used to live in Austin, for the community college, so she'd go somewhere-- I think it was called Spencer's, or something like that." Klaus has a brief, haunting flash of the girl from Walmart in a Spencer's. "They had all kinds of fun shirts like that. She got me this one there, too." He pulls on the hem of his t-shirt to display the text. "It's not really accurate, but it's funny."

   "Pssh, what?"

   Duncan tilts his head to the side.

   "Which part is inaccurate? Women don't want you, or fish don't fear you, or both?"

   "Fish don't fear me," Duncan says, smiling, and those stupid dimples appear on his cheeks again. "I don't fish. Women do want me."

   "And they'll want you just as much if you're stacking hay," Monty says from the doorway, making Klaus jump and make a little noise akin to a yelp. "We're going to Hector's for dinner tonight. I hope you'll join us."

Chapter Text

   Duncan ends up meeting them at the restaurant. It's a little thing that leans slightly and it looks nice, but it's obviously very recently been renovated. It's all clean stone and bright white stucco, in Spanish style, but it doesn't look quite lived in yet. The parking lot is gravel, and an inspection of the sides of the building yields a bright pink wood finish and more stone. It's nice, though, and outside are several planters shaped like various animals, all painted bright blues and reds and yellows. The light-up sign outside declares the building to be named "LAS COCINAS."

   "It looks nice," Klaus says, desperately searching for kind things to say about this Leaning Building of Texmex. He lands on full of charm after a moment of heated mental debate. "How's the food?"

   "Like heaven," Monty says, parking the truck (Shelby) somewhat haphazardly and jumping down from the cab. Klaus takes a moment more, wary around the large vehicle, and he barely makes it to the front door when Maria swings into the unofficial parking spot beside Shelby. She cuts out abruptly as Duncan drops from the driver's side door and smiles that stupid smile at Klaus.

   "Well, hello, gorgeous," he says, and Klaus wishes that wouldn't make his heart flutter like it does. "Come here often?"

   "You saw me five minutes ago."

   "And a tumultuous five minutes they were. Agony without that pretty face." Klaus rolls his eyes, making sure to exaggerate it so much that Duncan smiles and pulls the door open for the pair of them.

   Monty's already seated at a table in the corner, but Klaus pauses in the entryway to take in the near-explosion of color before him. The walls are all a bright, butter yellow, and various depictions of the sun and moon are scattered throughout them, surrounded by vibrantly decorated ceramic lizards. One TV, in the corner of the restaurant, is playing a soccer game, while another, closer to Monty, displays what appears to be a telenovela -- a Mexican soap opera. Neither have sound, but the subtitles are on, and music plays through speakers in the ceiling that's just soft enough that Klaus can't make out any words. Monty is enraptured by the telenovela, drumming his fingers on the table before him, when Klaus makes his way over and plants himself in the chair next to Monty. Duncan drops into the chair opposite.

   "Ever had Mexican food that wasn't Chipotle or Taco Bell before?" Duncan asks, picking at the fringe of the colorful woven tablecloth. The part that covers the top of the table is covered in thin clear plastic, probably to make it easier to clean. 

   "I have, actually."

   "You've never had anything like Hector's food. It's straight from heaven, I swear."

   "Not heaven, Monty, Mexico," says a man with a stained homemade apron tied around his waist. "I'm Hector," he adds, extending a hand for Klaus to shake -- it's callused and spotted with corn flour. 

   "Klaus," Klaus replies, and Hector nods. 

   "The nephew. I was beginning to think Monty made you up." Hector smiles. "I'm sure he's glad for the help. I don't know where I'd be without Jackie -- that's my sister." He reaches into a pocket in his apron and pulls out a laminated menu that he drops in front of Klaus. "Your usuals...?"

   Duncan and Monty both nod. Klaus opens the menu to find an assortment of very well organized sections detailing the kinds of food available. 

   "Look a while. How about a drink first?" Klaus flips to the back. 

   "Coke?"

   "What kind?" Hector says, pulling out a little notepad and a pen that looks chewed on.

   "Just-- Coke?"

   "Mexican," Duncan amends. Hector nods and walks to a big red swing door -- presumably the kitchen. "Trust me-- they use real cane sugar in the Mexican stuff. It's better than American. Also, here, 'Coke' is just a soft drink. When he asks what kind, you specify more clearly, y'know, Sprite or American Coke." Monty, still involved with the telenovela, nods absently. "You'll get used to it." Klaus nods, choosing to study the menu. He hadn't been lying when he said he'd had things other then Chipotle and Taco Bell, but his experience is limited to what his sister dubbed White People Taco Night. None of the food had had much flavor, but something gives him the impression that Hector and his sister don't shy away from spice. This suspicion is somewhat confirmed when Hector emerges from the kitchen with a platter and Klaus's bottle of Coke. 

   "Chips for the table. Had time to decide?" Hector says, placing a basket of chips and two little bowls of guacamole and salsa on the table. 

   Klaus opens the menu and picks the first thing his eyes land on. "Fajitas -- the chicken ones." Hector nods and dutifully writes the order on his little pad with the chewed pen. 

   "Beans on a separate plate," Monty says, tearing his eyes away from the telenovela long enough to look at Hector. "I'm gonna eat 'em," he adds, smiling at Hector and selecting a chip to dip heavily into the guacamole. "Also, queso, please."

   "Okay," Hector says, making a note on his pad. "Fajitas with the beans on another plate and queso. There's bottle openers at the front for your soda, and I'll be back with your Corona." 

   "Good man," Monty says, clapping Hector on the shoulder. "You're driving home tonight, Klaus."

   "I don't know how to drive," Klaus deadpans, pulling his bottle opener out of his pocket -- it's attached to his car keys.

   Monty waves his hand, apparently not noticing the keys. "It's easy enough." Duncan snorts and begins to laugh under his breath. 

   Klaus starts to laugh, too, as he shoves the keys back in his pocket. "I don't know, Uncle Monty. Maybe you should teach me sometime you're not intoxicated. Maybe Duncan could drive." That only makes Duncan laugh harder. Klaus reaches forward for a chip and dips just one end in the salsa. 

   "Aw, what was that?" Duncan asks, also reaching for a chip and the salsa. "Lemme show you how." He digs the chip into the salsa to pick up a good-sized lump of tomato and pepper on his chip before placing the whole thing in his mouth and crunching. It takes a second, but he swallows and holds his arms out as if to say See? "Not like that wimpy little dip you did."

   "...Is it spicy?" Klaus asks, wincing internally at the somewhat childish question. He's Texan, damn it, he should be able to handle this. 

   "Meh," says Duncan, "sorta."

   Klaus decides to take this with a grain of salt and tastes his wimpy chip first. The salsa is flavorful, that's for sure. "'S good," he says around a mouthful of chip. They're corn chips, apparently homemade, but they're better than anything Klaus's parents could buy in a store. Tentatively, he takes a sip of his Coke, finding it sweeter than most Coke he's had, and it doesn't have any aftertaste except for that lingering sweetness. 

   He must be smiling or something similar, because Duncan smiles at him over the table, and unlike most of the other smiles so far, this one is soft and genuine. It almost feels like something Monty shouldn't see, but luckily he's completely absorbed in the telenovela. Someone backs through the door to the kitchen carrying a platter in each hand, yelling back into the kitchen in Spanish. When he turns around, Klaus is struck by how similar he and Duncan look -- almost carbon copies. Duncan has shorter hair and slightly broader shoulders, where this doppleganger (who's beelining towards their table) sports a small bun on the back of his head. 

   The doppleganger sets each of the platters on an adjacent table.   

   "Ay. Three tacos with extra onions, because I love you and you love me," he says, setting a still-steaming plate in front of Duncan, who wrinkles his nose. "A loaded burrito that no one in the kitchen can close properly, because you hate us and we're still deciding." He sets this plate before Monty, who tears himself away from the telenovela. Next comes Klaus's plate of beans, which he stares at for a moment. "...Beans?"

   "Mine," Monty says immediately. The doppleganger sets them beside the burrito hesitantly.

   "I guess these fajitas are yours, then," he says, halfway a question. Klaus nods. "I've never seen you around here."

   "Just moved in today," Klaus says, accepting his plate of still-sizzling meat and peppers.

   "My nephew, Klaus," Monty says through a mouthful of beans. 

   "Wonderful to meet you. I'm Quigley, Duncan's significantly handsomer identical triplet." Duncan sighs, sending a puff of steam across the table. "Don't let him tell you that's not how it works, because that's absolutely how it works."

   Klaus just nods awkwardly and smiles. 

   "Silent type. Man of few words." Quigley nods respectfully. "Sometimes I wish Duncan would be more like you."

   "He's just shy," Monty says through a different mouthful of beans. "He gets tortillas, don't he? Maybe you should go get them instead of insulting your brother."

   Quigley smiles and disappears back into the kitchen, but not before yelling at someone inside, still in Spanish. 

   "He's just jealous I'm fifteen minutes older and also much more handsome than he is," Duncan says. His steam has mostly dissipated by now, and he reaches for one taco to examine the contents. "He better have left off the onions, or I swear I'm gonna fight 'im." 

   "Are you allergic?"

   "No, I just hate them." He pauses his pawing for a moment to look up at Klaus with a mischevious smile. "Disney's making a movie about me. My mom got pushed off a cliff by a pack of onions." Klaus snorts into a fit of laughter. "That one's safe. For now."

   Quigley reemerges from the kitchen with a squat, colorful, ceramic pot in one hand and a cast-iron skillet in the other. 

   "Cheese," he says, drawing the word out and setting the skillet in the center of the table. Inside is a decadent batch of queso. Klaus isn't stupid enough to not recognize queso. "Tortillas. Yell if you need me." He ruffles Duncan's hair before he disappears back into the kitchen. Duncan, to his credit, doesn't pause in tearing his taco apart in search of onions. Klaus opens his tortilla keeper and begins to assemble a fajita, keeping one eye on Duncan, who's now on his third taco. 

   "Do you do this every time you come here?" Klaus asks. "I'm genuinely curious."

   "Yes," Duncan says absently, deeming his last taco acceptable for consumption and beginning to assemble them again. "Quigley is a menace and will put onions in here if he thinks I'm not gonna check. I gotta make sure." Monty, who is somehow halfway through his burrito already, hums in agreement.

   "Mmm," Klaus says through the first bite of his fajita. It's halfway an acknowledgment and halfway a vocalization of how good the food is. Monty wasn't lying when he said this food was straight from heaven -- Klaus isn't sure he'll be able to go back to the watered-down food back in Dallas at the end of the summer. 

   That's a somewhat terrifying thought, though. To have a tie to this place means having a reason to come back here, and how would he do that with his ambitious plans? He takes another, more hesitant bite of his fajita and mulls over this in his head for a moment, then decides he'll deal with that later. Right now, he's tired and hungry and this fajita is more delicious than anything else he's ever eaten. 

   "Good, uh?" Duncan says, halfway through his first reassembled taco. "Told you so."

   Klaus tells him to shut up, and he does. 

   Monty, unsurprisingly, is the first to finish, and he downs the rest of his beer. Duncan is next, wiping the grease from his face with one of the scratchy paper napkins Quigley had practically thrown at him. Quigley seems to like throwing things at his brother, because when Klaus asks him for a box to take the rest of the food home he'd nailed Duncan in the back of the head with a styrofoam container. His aim is surprisingly good. 

   "Are we heading home?" Klaus asks, and Monty nods uncertainly from where he's now engrossed in a Simpsons rerun. "Like, now, or...?"

   "Now works," Monty says. "C'mon. I'll pay for your dinner, Duncan. See you tomorrow."

   "No, I'm comin'." Duncan leads Klaus out the door while Monty approaches a counter at the front to pay, and Klaus drops into an empty bench on the front porch. "Havin' fun so far?"

   "You kidding?" Klaus says, laughing a little. "If I were having any more fun, my parents would call me back home."

   "Why?" Duncan asks, sitting on the other end of the bench with a heavy sigh. 

   "They... have a plan for me. Seems like they have every little detail already decided. I can't want to stay here." Klaus sighs. "My wife. My job. Where I go to college. There's no room for argument."

   "I didn't take you for wanting a wife," Duncan says, eyeing Klaus's cordoroy-covered thigh. 

   "You don't know me," Klaus says, and he doesn't mean to insult Duncan -- it's a statement of fact. "I especially don't want the one they've picked for me. She's..." He searches desperately for a moment for words to describe Carmelita Spats, heiress and complainer by profession. "We're very different."

   "Well, bless her heart," Duncan says.

   Klaus smiles and starts to fidget with his fingers. "Have you ever read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?"

   "Dahl? Veruca or Violet?"

   "Veruca Salt, all the way through." Duncan raises his eyebrows and chuckles under his breath. "And she knows it. She wears a lot of pink."

   "I'm sure she's wonderful. Is she pretty, at least?" 

   "...In her own way." Duncan laughs outright. "They didn't do this with my older sister, either. I'm the son -- everything I do has to be perfect."

   "The horses don't care how you bale the hay," Duncan says quietly, "just that they get to eat it." Klaus smiles as Duncan's words reverberate in his head, but he doesn't get to reply before Monty emerges and wrestles Shelby's keys from his pocket. "I'll see you in the morning."

   It's an uneventful ride back to the house, and Klaus is in bed under the quilt before he realizes what Duncan was really trying to say. You don't have to worry about that here. 

Chapter Text

   "Up," Monty says, and Klaus sits up abruptly to find his uncle in the doorway. "Cakes on the griddle, and Duncan's almost here to show you how to work the tractor."

   "I wasn't aware I'd be driving a tractor," Klaus grumbles, practically falling out of bed and pawing around for his glasses on the bookshelf. "Wonderful."

   Monty has disappeared from the door when he finally finds his glasses and perches them on his nose. He pulls open his top drawer to find a nice t-shirt that he won't mind getting dirty should some incident happen with the tractor. A quick look at his phone tells him it's just past seven in the morning. "Wonderful," he mutters again, tugging on the t-shirt, a pair of brown jeans, and his plain brown Converse -- then a second thought tells him he should wear his Docs, just for a little extra protection from incidents. 

   The house smells like bacon and syrup when Klaus emerges from his room brushing his hair, and the front door is open to reveal the screen and Maria pulling up beside Klaus's Cooper. He drops into one of the chairs at the table, and Monty sets a plate with bacon and two pancakes before him. Duncan knocks on the screen door, and Klaus rises to open it.

   "Mornin'," he says, "aren't you snazzy."

   Klaus looks down at his Lord Huron tour t-shirt and tawny-brown jeans. "I guess."

   "Mornin', Monty," Duncan calls into the kitchen as Klaus steps aside to let him in. "Ready to bale some hay?"

   "May I eat first?" Klaus answers drily, sitting back down, and Duncan laughs and drops into the chair next to him. "Lovely."

   The bacon and pancakes go down without issue, though Klaus doesn't really notice the taste or texture of them. He follows Duncan out the door, scratching Daisy on the head as he goes, and through the horse barn to the back. 

   "This is Cat, short for Caterpillar. Like the brand," Duncan says, slapping the side of a tractor that is definitely not a Cat brand. 

   "...That's a John Deere. It's printed on the side." 

   "That's the irony," Duncan says, "but she runs better than any Cat I've ever driven. Hop up," he says, popping the door open and moving to the back. Tentatively, Klaus steps up the little ladder on the side into the cab to find Duncan hanging off the other side and dangling a set of keys from one finger. "Alright. Keys go there." He points to a keyhole in the dashboard and drops the keys into Klaus's palm. 

   Cat is loud. The sound of the growling engine fills every crevice of Klaus's brain, and she shudders like she's about to fall apart, but Duncan whoops and shouts, "She's purrin' real pretty today!" over the cacophony. "Gear shift there," he adds. "Ever driven stick before?"

   "No," Klaus shouts as loud as he physically can. It still barely cuts the groan of the engine.

   "Don't matter. Put 'er in reverse." Klaus shifts the drive stick into reverse, then presses on what he assumes is the gas pedal. Cat lurches backwards, slowly but surely, and Duncan directs him to back up near a giant contraption with lots of terrifying, spindly metal arms, like a spider from hell.

   "Cut 'er off," Duncan yells, then drops from his perch. Klaus is all too ready to tug the key from the ignition, and he leans his head back and sighs when Cat slowly winds down to silence once more. If he tilts the tiny rear-view mirror down, he can see Duncan attaching the spider-from-hell thing to the back of the tractor. He's sitting on it, with one leg on either side of the hitch, and his hands work deftly and too attractively for their own good. Klaus sighed again, but this time more wistfully -- he shakes his head to clear it. This is Duncan: he digs through tacos with his bare hands to make sure there aren't onions in them, he drives a beat-up truck he named Maria, and he wears dusty, lightwash blue jeans. Klaus moves the rear-view mirror back into its old position. 

   After another minute or two of listening to the hitch and spider-from-hell clang ominously, Duncan whoops and jumps back up into his perch. This time, though, he pops the cab door open and shimmies his way inside. "A'right, turn 'her back on, but before you move, flip that yellow lever over there. That'll raise the haymaker so you don't rip up the ground." 

   Klaus turns the key and makes a little noise in the back of his throat when Cat roars to life. "She ain't scary," Duncan says, smiling ruefully over at Klaus. "Come on. Put 'er in gear." 

   "...How?"

   Duncan's hand is warm and callused when he lays it over Klaus's on the shifter. "Follow my lead, okay?"

   Klaus gulps, but allows Duncan to shift the stick around until it's in the right position, and Klaus presses on the gas pedal until Cat lurches forwards, nearly sending Duncan flying into the windshield. "Alright, first lesson: be confident. This really ain't no different from driving a car -- 'cept the size, really." He squeezes Klaus's hand reassuringly, and Klaus tries his best to hide how his heart jumps into his throat. "Try again."

   This time, Klaus is more confident with his movements, and Cat only stumbles forward until they're chugging along towards the open field. 

   "Head for that top corner," Duncan says, using his free hand to point to a spot near a line of trees that presumably separates Monty's property from someone else's. "A'right. Pause here." Cat lurches to a stop -- her brakes are a lot more sensitive than Klaus expected. "Your job today is to get through as much of this field as you can. Lower the haymaker." Klaus flips the yellow lever and the haymaker clangs behind them. "I'm gonna get out, 'cause I have other shit to do, but essentially you're just going to... mow the lawn, almost. See that screen?" Klaus follows Duncan's finger to a little screen that sports a glowing rectangle that's filled about three-quarters of the way; there's a silver Sharpie line about a quarter of the way from the bottom. "That's your gas meter. Don't let it dip below a quarter tank --that's the little silver line-- come as close as you can to the edge of the field, shut 'er off, and come get me. Don't worry about critters, they'll get out the way if they know what's good for 'em. Your job is to make the hay, and later this afternoon or tomorrow we'll bale it."

   "Lunch?"

   "I'll come out and make a ruckus when it's time." Duncan smiles sweetly, and maybe he's not as bad as Klaus thought. "Oh! Cat ain't got power steering, so turn that thing like there's no tomorrow to flip 'er in a different direction. I'd recommend a spiral or somethin' like that for your first try, somethin' that don't require real sharp turns. Cruise control's that red button there."

   "You'll be in the barn?"

   "Mostly, yeah. Poseidon needs new horseshoes, and Llama needs to go for a ride. Don't worry about goin' super fast. You're gonna do great." He smiles again and hops down, smacking Cat's side as he strides around the front, and then he's disappeared off to the barn. 

   Klaus takes a deep breath and sighs heavily. 

   Making hay is apparently King of the Mountain when it comes to The Most Boring Things Ever. Klaus finds if he idles in first gear, he can put on the cruise control and comfortably make turns without going out of it, and he hasn't even gotten close to the silver line on the gas gauge by the time Duncan comes out waving his arms and shouting something unintelligable. 

   This is apparently what constitutes as a 'ruckus' for lunchtime, so Klaus cuts Cat off and jumps down from the cab into waist-deep grass -- and Klaus is over six feet, so this grass is tall. Even where he's already run over with the haymaker, it's up to his mid-calf. 

   "C'mon. Monty's got pizza from downtown," Duncan says, looping one arm around Klaus's shoulders and pulling him close. "How's it been?"

   "Supremely uneventful." Duncan laughs, pats him on the shoulderblade, and releases him to shove his hands in his pockets, then shoves the barn door open with his foot. "No, really. I live in an apartment building -- this is the farthest from a city I've ever been."

   "And you're stuck here for the whole summer," Duncan says, scratching between Daisy's ears when she shoves her head against his leg. 

   "Beats being stuck with all those prissy kids I went to high school with -- honestly," he says, petting Daisy when she comes around for more. "One of them didn't talk to me for a week when I told her I didn't want to go on her family's yacht for three days and miss, like, half of Hannukah. Besides, the other option is... Carmelita."

   "The girl your parents picked out?"

   "If I wasn't here," Klaus says, wrenching the screen door open, "I'd be back in Dallas listening to her complain about how her parents bought her a red phone instead of a pink one."

   Duncan didn't say anything, instead dropping into the same chair he'd occupied that morning. There's a small stack of Domino's pizza boxes on the table, and Klaus opens the top one as he sinks into his chair. Plain pepperoni. "Uncle Monty," Klaus calls, "is there cheese?"

   "The little one on the bottom," Monty answers from somewhere in the kitchen. Indeed, there is a smaller box underneath the larger two on top. "Go on without me, I'll be another minute." 

   Lunch is silent and uneventful, save for when Abby jumped up on Klaus's lap and tried to eat the slice of pizza straight out of his hand. Then it's back outside into a wave of oppressive heat, and Duncan shows him how to work the little fan near the rear-view mirror to keep himself at least relatively cool. Finally, he's done as the sun starts to sink below the horizon, and Duncan helps him back the haymaker back into the storage shed. 

   He's hot and sore, and he's pretty sure he has a sunburn on the back of his neck because it burns like fire when he steps in the shower to wash all the debris off. 

   He's going to die, isn't he.

Chapter Text

   It's a sweltering afternoon a week later when Klaus looks up from the book he's perched on Cat's dashboard and sees a strange car making its way up the drive. It's small, gold, and clearly older than Klaus. Luckily, he's close to the end of this bale, so he chugs along for another minute and shuts the tractor off. 

   He makes it into the barn to find Duncan staring out the open door with a confused look on his face. He's brushing Kelly, but his hand is paused in the middle of the motion to stare at the people emerging from the car.

   "What're they up to?" he mumbles, and indeed, it's Duncan's brother (Quinn? Something with a Q) walking into the barn. He's dressed very differently from a week ago: a pair of neon basketball shorts, a tank top that says SUN'S OUT GUNS OUT in big orange letters, and a pair of flip flops. "Q."

   "D. What's happenin'? Hi... oh, fuck, I forgot your name."

   "It's okay," Klaus says, waving his hand dismissively. "Klaus."

   "Isadora!" a woman's voice says, and it's Duncan's sister -- Klaus remembers her from his first day, and from purchasing the most potent Febreze he could find a few days prior. She's in a matching pair of basketball shorts, but instead sports a paint-splattered t-shirt that probably once had a logo on it, but it's peeling and covered in an array of paint colors. "Sorry, I thought we were introducing ourselves."

   Duncan sighs and plants his hands on his hips.

   "Don't tell me you forgot to ask Monty to give you the afternoon off," she says, "there's pool noodles and shit in the trunk and everything." 

   "What's this about pool noodles?" Monty asks, Abby in arm as he strides over to pet Kelly's nose.

   "Duncan said he'd come with us to the river today," Isadora explains. "We're both off-- we asked him to ask you if he could get off early so he could come with us."

   "If you take Klaus," Monty says absently, "you can go."

   Isadora and Quinn (?) look to Klaus expectantly. "I'll go put my swim trunks on." 

   It's a short drive in Quigley's (he'd laughed when Klaus had asked him his name) little gold Civic, nicknamed the Shitbox, due to its tendency to break down at least once a week. They stop at the apartment the triplets share first, so Duncan can change into a pair of Hawaiian-print nylon shorts, an old t-shirt that doesn't even have full words on it anymore, and a hat that says DILF (Damn, I Love Frogs). It's a tight squeeze in the tiny backseat, so Duncan ends up halfway on Klaus's lap so Quigley can still see out the rear-view mirror. He barely notices, mostly because Isadora is the funniest person he's ever met, and he's laughing so hard he isn't even making any noise anymore. 

   They turn onto a gravel road that is surrounded by signs. They all seem to say NO MOTOR BOATING, which is somewhat reassuring -- at least they're not going to get spun into a propeller. Quigley parks the car near a shaded picnic table covered in peeling green paint and hops out to pop open the trunk. Klaus decides to wiggle out from under Duncan to explore the shore and see the water.

   There's a small rocky beach right near their picnic table, and beyond that is a lazily flowing river. It's clear, but the rocks below are dark and algae-covered so it looks like it's muddled. It's all very peaceful, since they're the only people there, and the birds are singing and the heat isn't so bad in the shade.

   "'S nice, ain't it?" Duncan says as he moves up beside him, gravel crunching beneath his feet. "I used to come here all the time when I was younger. Then my parents--- um, then I got a job with Monty."

   "...There's a pool in the apartment complex where I live," Klaus says lamely, "and sometimes we'd go there?"

   Duncan smiles somewhat bittersweetly, but Klaus doesn't get to ask why.

   "HOLY FUCK!!!" Quigley yells, loud enough to startle the birds in the trees. "OH, FUCK NO."

   Duncan takes off at a soft jog considering his brother is only a few feet away. Klaus is right behind him, looking between Isadora's and Duncan's shoulders.

   "Quigley, you stupid fuck," Duncan says, "it's just a lizard." He pronounces it like leezard, for some reason, and it's just a little cute.

   "It's a gecko," Klaus says. The gecko licks its eyeball and makes a noise that almost sounds like geck-o, geck-o. Great, Klaus thinks, it's a Pokémon.

   "It slithers and it's slimy," Quigley says, shaking slightly from his perch behind a nearby tree.

   "It... it is not." Klaus extends his hand slowly towards the gecko, which shies away before licking his hand tentatively and climbing onto it. "See?" he says, lifting the gecko over Isadora's head so Quigley can see it. Quigley's eyes go wide, and he gulps loud enough that Klaus can hear it.

   "It's just a little lizard," Isadora says, tugging on Klaus's wrist until he lowers the gecko to her eye level. Again, leezard, and Klaus thinks it might be a family inside joke or something. "Aww, baby," she coos, reaching one finger out to tentatively touch the top of its head. "He's just a little guy."

   "He's slimy."

   "Nuh-uh," Isadora says, stroking down the gecko's back. "He's smooth."

   "Not mutually exclusive," Quigley says. Duncan leans his chin on Klaus's left shoulder, and Klaus has to take a deep, calming breath to keep himself from freaking out.

   "He's kinda cute," Duncan says, head shifting with every syllable. "All... green."

   "Aaaaaah," Quigley groans, shifting so he's hidden further by the tree. "Just toss it into the tree or something, please."

   "Okay," Klaus says, moving towards the tree Quigley's shielding himself with, causing him to jump backwards and trip over a bush. "What? You said put it in a tree,"

   "Not this one!"

   Isadora and Duncan are laughing behind him, and it makes Klaus smile and giggle a bit himself. "I'm just going to put him in the tree," Klaus says gently, setting the gecko on a low-hanging branch. Quigley makes a whimpering noise in the back of his throat. "Don't worry. He isn't poisonous-- maybe. Just... don't eat him."

   Quigley rises slowly, giving the tree as much of a berth as he can manage, which only makes his siblings giggle. "There better not be another one," he grumbles, pulling an orange pool noodle out of the trunk and tucking it under his arm. Isadora tugs a box out from underneath the stack, which turns out to be a large flamingo-shaped inflatable floatie. Walmart brand, of course. She wrestles with it as Duncan and Klaus each grab one of the remaining noodles -- green and blue respectively. Once she manages to unfold the plastic and find the opening, Isadora drops to the ground and begins to inflate the flamingo. 

   "There's a bike pump in the back..." Duncan says, trailing off as Isadora glares at him with fury. "Okay."

   Klaus watches her for a moment more as Duncan wanders off towards the water, where Quigley is lounging on the beach with his feet (now bare) in the water. "Call me if you need someone else to take a turn?" Klaus says, and she raises her eyebrows and nods. He reaches over the floatie with his noodle to bop her gently on the head, which makes her laugh; Klaus smiles before he meanders over to the beach and drops down beside Quigley, ignoring the rock that threatens to make its way up his ass. Luckily, it's not sharp. Duncan deposits his hat on the picnic table before he drops his noodle in the shallows, kicks his shoes off, and begins to wade. 

   Klaus is content to watch, occasionally turning his head to make sure Isadora isn't turning purple. He basks in the feeling of being included, despite the fact he was only invited so Duncan could come, and of the warmth of the sun on his skin. Duncan ahas and lifts something from the water that he shields with his body until he's close enough for Quigley to see it.

   To his credit, Quigley's scream is almost a perfect recreation of the Wilhelm Scream. 

   "What the fuck is that," Quigley whimpers, backing into Klaus in his attempt to crawl away.

   "It's a turtle," Klaus says. For some reason, Duncan has the turtle's shell between his hands like it's a hamburger. "Why are you holding it like that?"

   "If it don't want me to hold it like this, it shouldn't be burger shaped," Duncan replies. The turtle has retreated into its shell by now, which means that Quigley has stopped making little noises (at least for the moment) and Duncan decides it's time to replace the turtle wherever he found it. Quigley doesn't move from his position --pressed into Klaus's side-- until Duncan turns back around and the only thing in his hands is his pool noodle. Isadora makes a noise of triumph and slings the flamingo around her waist so she can walk over to the water and wade in up to her knees. From there, she drops the flamingo so it floats on the surface, only stopped from floating down the river by her unmoving legs.

   "Izzy," Duncan calls from where he's wandered upstream, "hey, I!"

   "That better not be another critter," Quigley says, and Duncan smiles ruefully, an expression that tells Klaus that he absolutely has another 'critter' of the amphibious and/or reptilian variety. He's abandoned his pool noodle, and it floats sadly downstream until it bumps into the rocky beach and Klaus can rescue it from the current. "D."

   "Q," Duncan yells back, wandering back over with something in his hands that he seems to be having a hard time holding onto. "Has it occured to you, small brother, that I ain't doin' this to annoy you specifically?"

   "Yes, small brother," Isadora says, flopping down into her flamingo and situating herself comfortably. She doesn't go floating down the river, so she must be sitting on the bottom or something.

   "I ain't small."

   "Little. Younger. Small. Same thing," Duncan says, offering his cupped hands to Klaus. "What's this?" he adds, squatting down, and now Klaus sees what's happening. This isn't about Quigley at all.

   "Ooh. Bullfrog tadpoles." Duncan has a small pool of water cupped in his hands somehow and inside it is a small pod of tadpoles. "Are you doing this so I'll tell you what things are?"

   Duncan flushes. "Maybe," he says, drawing the word out.

   "You're smart and Duncan gets a boner for nerds," Quigley tells him, and Klaus bursts into laughter. Duncan's blush turns a deep ruby red, and he falls backwards so he's sitting in the shallows. "Don't make that face, you know it's true!"

   "Yeah, but you don't gotta say it like that!"

   "Oh, sorry." Klaus has just finished wiping his eyes free of laughing tears when Quigley takes his hand between his own. "You're a nerd, and Duncan's mega horny for you."

   "Worse!!" 

   Klaus nearly falls into the water with how hard he's laughing. 

   "You know what they say," Isadora calls, lifting the can of root beer she'd somehow acquired, "save a horse, ride a cowboy." Duncan stands and splashes back over to the spot he'd found the tadpoles as Klaus slowly winds himself down. 

   "Oh---" Klaus says when Duncan sits down by the tadpoles, back facing the rest of them. Carefully, Klaus rises, making sure Quigley and Isadora are still involved in their conversation so they won't interrupt. "Duncan," he says softly. 

   "I'm not--" Duncan starts shakily, and when Klaus sits on a rock nearby, Duncan's eyes are shiny with tears.

   "You don't need to cry."

   "This isn't like that," Duncan says slowly between hiccuping breaths. "I don't -- I mean, you're really nice..."

   "No, I didn't--- you're really nice, too. I'm sorry,"

   "Not your fault," Duncan says, wiping his eyes with the collar of his shirt. "I just wish they wouldn't torment me every time there's a boy I might like nearby."

   "Such is the way of siblings," Klaus says, trying to sound wise and sage. "Nah, my sister does that to me all the time."

   "It's 'cause of the lizard earlier, I know it is." Leezard.

   "Why do you say it like that?" Duncan tilts his head to the side. "Leezard instead of lizard."

   "Oh," Duncan says, scratching his neck. "I never noticed, I guess." Then he smiles mischeviously. "Bet you can't find some other critter to scare Quigley with to get 'im back."

   "Oh, you are on."

   Klaus wakes the next morning to sore legs and a realization. 

   He likes it here.

Chapter Text

   Klaus takes a deep breath and opens his laptop. He's been dreading this ever since Violet called him out of nowhere and told him his parents were going to check in. Apparently, they want to know how he's doing, which would be a lot more believable if they hadn't dropped him in the middle of nowhere for the summer. 

   His computer chimes with the notification: Incoming Video Call from: Mom. He clicks on it, and the app pops up with a stream of his face while the call connects. Then, the feed of his face is shifted off to the side and the majority of the screen is taken up by a video of his mother's face while his father putters around in the kitchen behind her. Her face lights up with delayed recognition.

   "Hey, darling," she says, a little distorted with his laptop speakers, but still definitely her voice. "How are you -- oh, you're sunburnt!"

   "I've been out in the sun for two weeks, Mom. There is only so much that sunscreen can do for me." He smiles, though, and his mother laughs. "I'm having fun, though."

   "I hope Monty's not making you do too much."

   "Monty's... very hands off," Klaus says. "It's mostly the farmhand, Duncan."

   "Ah," his mother says, and she pauses for a moment before she adds, "Have you made friends?"

   Klaus pauses to take a breath. He knows this is a leading question, and if he says yes, he knows she'll give him a disapproving mmm and change the subject. So, he says, "No. There's not really much of an opportunity on that tractor." She nods.

   "Carmelita came by today," she says, and there's the kicker -- the reason she's calling. He's halfway surprised Carmelita isn't sitting next to his mother now. "She and I had a nice talk about your futures."

   "Mom," Klaus says, but he's not sure where he's going with it. 

   "She has some wonderful ideas," his mother continues, like she hadn't heard him. "A spring wedding, once you graduate from law school."

   Klaus feels his face grow warm with frustration. He doesn't want to marry spoiled, whiny, insufferable Carmelita, not just because he's not attracted to her in the slightest (not even platonically), but because it traps him in a life planned for him. He doesn't have a choice -- he's never had a choice -- but he wishes he did. He'd stay here if he could -- and the realization that he wants to be here because he feels free and alive hits him like a truck. Two weeks ago, he would have jumped at the chance to go home, and now, he can't imagine going back to the stifling life he used to lead. 

   "Sounds great," he says instead, lying through his teeth. "Listen, I-I think Duncan wanted me to clean one of the horses' hooves today, so I should... get on that." 

   "Oh! Alright, dear. I love you." 

   Klaus shuts his computer without dignifying her with a response. 

   Duncan is tossing bales of hay out of the loft when Klaus wanders into the barn. 

   "I thought you were talkin' to your parents," Duncan says, pausing for a moment. "All done?"

   "Yeah," Klaus says hesitantly. "What are you and your siblings doing after work today?"

   "Probably just... going home. Why?" Duncan jumps down from the hayloft unceremoniously. "Woah. 'Re you okay?"

   Klaus takes a deep, heaving breath, and that's all Duncan needs to wrap him in a bear hug. Klaus sighs shakily, buries his face in Duncan's shoulder, and wraps his arms around Duncan's broad back. 

   "It's Carmelita," he says after a moment, muffled slightly by Duncan's shirt. "She's---"

   "Shh." Duncan's hand rubs circles in Klaus's back.

    "She's already thinking about the wedding," Klaus breathes. Duncan just squeezes him tighter. "Nothing about it felt real until-- until---"

   "We're going out tonight," Duncan announces. "Imma call the others, and we're gonna go dick around in town until you feel better. You've got the rest of the summer before life starts to smack you around, and you're going to enjoy it if I have to drag you 'round by your hair." Klaus laughs shakily as one of Duncan's hands threads itself into Klaus's hair and grips, just to prove his point. "Now go out back and make sure the bees are watered."

   "Oh... um--"

   "It'll keep your mind off'a that ridiculous girl an' your ridiculous family." Duncan smiles and picks up a bucket from one of the corners. "Hose around the side," he says, pressing the bucket into Klaus's chest. "Go on, git."

   Hesitantly, Klaus fills the bucket with lukewarm, clear water from the hose and traipses over to the bee fence. He hasn't been over here since Monty first showed him around the farm, and it's still as terrifying as it was two weeks ago. A lot can happen in two weeks, Klaus muses as he fills the birdbath. A lot has happened in two weeks. 

   Duncan is on the phone when Klaus hurries back in, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no overly friendly bees followed him.

   "We're his friends, Q, it's our job to hang out with him when he's sad," Duncan's saying, gesturing wildly with the hand that isn't holding the phone. The hay is still scattered around the barn; Klaus takes a seat on one of the sturdier bales and props himself up on his hands. Duncan smiles at him. "We haven't gone to Bastrop in a while. We could go sit in the HEB parkin' lot... that's up to you."

   "Bastrop?" Klaus mouths.

   Duncan covers the receiver to mouth, "Next town over." Klaus nods. "Quigley-- no, we won't sneak a lizard into your car again-- we didn't even sneak the first one in--!" He sighs and rests his forehead on the heel of his hand. "Here, you talk to 'im."

   With that, Duncan hands Klaus the phone. Klaus puts it to his ear tentatively just in time to hear Quigley say, "Hey."

   "Hi," Klaus says.

   "Duncan says you're sad."

   "Somewhat."

   "Well, stop it." Klaus laughs once. "Duncan tell you we're going out tonight on the one condition that I find no lizards in my car?"

   "He did," Klaus says, smiling up at Duncan and finding a fond look in Duncan's bright green eyes.

   "Good, I have a plan -- we're gonna have a good time tonight, baby!" The call cuts before Klaus can say anything else, leaving him stuttering and confused.

   "Is he..." Klaus starts, not sure how he's going to finish.

   "Insane? Very." Klaus laughs, surprising himself with how genuine it is. Duncan is his friend, truly, and he's going to go out tonight with his friend and have a good time doing... something. Knowing Quigley, it's something mischevious, and Klaus is tempted to go out to the birdfeeder to find a lizard to plant surreptitiously in Quigley's car. "Seriously," Duncan's saying, "he once broke his arm jumpin' out of a tree in our front yard 'cause he had a dream he could fly." 

   "Seriously?"

   Duncan nods, dissolving into giggles, and it must be contagious because Klaus starts to laugh, too.

   Duncan lets him sit on the hay bale until he's done lifting the other ones into Maria's bed and has wheeled them out to the big metal feeder in the middle of the horse field. Maria rumbles up to the side of the barn and Duncan jumps out just as Quigley's little gold Lincoln pulls up the gravel of the driveway. Isadora practically falls out of the side of the car and stumbles into the barn.

   Klaus rises to wrap her in a hug as she kisses his cheek and hums happily. "Hey, I."

   "Hi, K. Duncan says you're sad." Klaus nods against her head where he's pressed his cheek into the top of it. "Wanna talk about it?"

   "...It's my mom," he says. "She's got all these expectations for me. It's like I'm stuck in the life she has planned for me and I can't do anything about it." Isadora hums sympathetically against his chest. "It's... suffocating."

   "You know what ain't suffocating?" she asks, pulling her head back far enough to rest her chin on his chest. "Teenage drinkin', baby." A mischevious grin takes over her face, and it must be contagious, because Klaus feels his own face break into a halfhearted smile. "Hop in the Abe."

   "The Abe?" he asks, letting Isadora pull him through the barn doors towards where her brothers stand by Maria, arguing about something. 

   "You know," she replies, smacking the top of Quigley's little car. "The Abe. Like Abe Lincoln."

   Klaus chuckles. "Wasn't it the Shitbox like, last week?"

   "Ah!" Quigley says, waving his finger in a no motion. "I fixted it."

   "Fixed," Duncan corrects, pressing his palm into Quigley's cheek and shoving him back. "Dumbass." 

   "It needed a new fuel line to th' engine," Quigley says, slightly muffled from Duncan's hand. "And a new serpentine belt."

   "I... don't know what that means." Quigley waves his hand dismissively. "Listen, I..."

   All three triplets turn their attention to him, eyes wide, and it's a sort of unsettling feeling. All three have these big, bright green eyes that feel like they're staring into his soul when they focus on him, and he has to choke out his thank you. Isadora smiles and leans her head on his shoulder while Duncan makes a series of distressed noises because Quigley managed to shift just enough to lick Duncan's hand. 

   He's cute when he's being silly, Klaus thinks, and that brings his mind to a screeching halt as he tries to comprehend what on earth he's thinking, because this is Duncan -- he says leezard instead of lizard, he insists on wearing a cowboy hat everywhere, he named his truck, he eats pizza toppings first. 

   The more he thinks about it though, he realizes: this is Duncan, who dropped everything when Klaus came moping into the barn, who reassured him when he was stressed, who holds turtles like hamburgers to terrorize his brother. Besides, he's handsome to boot, and Klaus feels ice creep down his back when he realizes he's in a fucking Hallmark cowboy romcom. He cards a hand through his hair and watches as Quigley attempts to tug open the driver's side door of his car. 

   "This fucking--- I take it back, we're goin' back to the Shitbox." He kicks the side and the door pops open. Duncan snorts as he makes his way to the passenger's side, and Klaus and Isadora practically fall into the backseat together. 

   Revelations about Duncan aside, Klaus is grateful for Isadora and Quigley. Isadora is so affectionate in ways Klaus has never truly experienced, and it's so refreshing; Quigley is funny, in ways the stuck-up kids at his high school never could be because they had their heads so far up their own asses. He realizes he's happy here, and that makes his blood run cold, because he can't afford to get caught up in these people, this place. This isn't his home. More importantly, this can't become his home. Isadora must sense his predicament, because she leans her head on his shoulder and intertwines their fingers. 

   "That girl don't control you yet," she whispers. "Ain't nobody in control o' you right now. Take advantage of that. Loosen up a bit." To punctuate, she pokes him once, twice, thrice in the ribs, which is enough to make him smile and bat her hand away. He looks up at the road to find Duncan turned around in his seat, watching them with a small smile on his face.

   "How big this girl you s'posed to marry?" Quigley asks, looking back at them in the rear view mirror.

   "Like... how tall?"

   "...Sure."

   "She's... like, five-foot-one?" Quigley snorts. "Little bitty. And she's, like, a hundred pounds soaking wet." It's strange, feeling the edges of a twang on his tongue when he speaks, but for some reason it feels so natural. He decides he'll let his voice take on a drawl, if it so desires, and maybe when he gets back, he'll annoy Carmelita to death and then he'll get to come back here; maybe he'll buy property, have a little homestead. Maybe he'll pile into the Shitbox a few times every week, or Maria, and head into town to hang out with his friends. His friends. 

   "I could take her in a fight," Quigley's saying, drawing Klaus out of his thoughts. "I give 'er the old one-two for you."

   "Thanks, Q," Klaus says, smiling, and Isadora's poking his ribs again to make him laugh, and he feels like he belongs here, in the Shitbox, going at least fifteen miles over the speed limit, with the triplets. His friends. Soon, though, other cars start appearing on the road and all of a sudden there's a big highway access road that Quigley's turning onto. 

   "We're almost there," Quigley says, making a turn that was almost certainly illegal under an overpass to turn them in what Klaus assumes is the right direction. He skips a stop sign and swerves through a few lines of cars and lifted trucks towards a medium-sized town called Bastrop. Klaus spots a Chick-fil-a billboard over the highway overpass, and they pass no less than four gas stations and a Wendy's. They stop at a red light next to two car dealerships right next to each other, and one boasts a gigantic, flowing American flag that perfectly captures the essence of Texas towns. 

   Duncan has appointed himself travel guide and is pointing out things of interest to Klaus, narrating each one as they go. "Bastrop has a hospital, thank God... we used to have to go into Austin--" (a shudder) "--if we wanted a doctor. Oh, Quigley got beat up in that parkin' lot once... I got beat up in that parkin' lot. We're goin' to Southside after this," he tells Quigley, who nods and switches lanes abruptly to avoid a Honda Civic that is, God forbid, going the speed limit. 

   There's a few more exchanges like that before they're pulling into a parking lot with a familiar millenial grey building. 

   "Now," Isadora says as they extract themselves from the car, "Duncan Marshall Quagmire, look at me." Klaus snorts and mouths Marshall? Duncan gives him a glare that could kill a cactus. "If I catch you stealin' anythin', I'mma have your head on a silver fuckin' platter, you hear me?" Duncan nods. "And Quigley-- don't break nothin', we ain't got no money to pay for it."

   Quigley gives her a mocking salute. 

   "I don't think you're a hazard, are you?" Klaus shakes his head, but he is absolutely lying, because he brought his wallet and he fully intends to spend at least twenty dollars on candy. It's not their money, he reasons as they troop up to the doors, so they can't say anything. Quigley pulls a cart out of the corral, and Klaus is suddenly very afraid of how much alcohol he intends to buy. 

   He must notice Klaus's slightly intimidated gaze, because he smiles and says, "I need some other things, too. Don't worry." Isadora checks a list on her phone and announces they need to make a stop by the pad aisle and the shampoo aisle. Quigley makes a retching noise but points the squeaky cart in the direction of the health section. 

   Now. Klaus has to figure out how to get to the candy aisle surreptitiously while not getting lost and without the Quagmires noticing he's gone. He trails behind a bit as Isadora and Quigley begin to argue about whether or not there's Tylenol in the medicine cabinet, but Duncan falls back beside him to his dismay. 

   "You need anythin'?" Duncan asks, smiling. "Seems like they've forgotten we're here because of you."

   "...Candy?" Klaus says. "I know, I know, it's a bit childish, but... my parents never went to grocery stores with normal candy. I always had, like... organic dark chocolate that tasted like chalk. I want... normal chocolate." Duncan's smile turns into a grin. "I-I brought money for myself." Duncan waves his hand dismissively as Isadora begins her trek down the pad aisle.

   Klaus watches her grab one and snort out a laugh. "Scented?" she says incredulously, holding it out for the boys to see. "What's next, flavored tampons?" She laughs a short, staccato beat as an elderly lady tsks at her from in front of the adult diapers. 

   Eventually, she picks a package, drops it into the cart, and headbutts Quigley's back until he starts moving towards the shampoo. 

   "If you want it, you should get it," Duncan says as they find themselves in a similar position as before. "We'll wait 'till Izzy's debatin' with herself over coconut or strawberry scented shampoo and we'll head off. I'll get Q a bag of gummy worms so he can't complain."

   "He likes gummy worms?"

   Duncan nods, following his siblings down the shampoo aisle to tell them. Isadora nods absently, already absorbing herself in the ingredients of a bright pink bottle. Duncan turns, grinning, and points behind them.

   The candy aisle is distressingly far from the health section, considering candy is obviously incredibly significant to a healthy life. Duncan leads the winding way through the store until Klaus is face to face with more candy than he's ever seen in his life and Duncan is debating the merits between a bag of regular gummy worms and a bag of sour ones. It's all cheap and it all looks good, so he picks a bag of Reese's, a KitKat, gumdrops (for a palate cleanser), a bag of milk chocolate stars, and a bag of Lindor truffles (to have something familiar).

   "I always thought these were high-end," Klaus says, holding up the truffles. "Maybe not."

   "High-end for us," Duncan says, then gasps, because there on the shelf is something second only to the Holy fucking Grail. "Fuck, I didn't see those," he breathes, reaching for the bag of gummy lizards. "Hell. Yes."

   "We'll put it in my bag," Klaus says, already making his way towards the self-checkout at the end of the aisles. "We could slip one in his pocket or something?" Duncan laughs mischieviously, rubbing his hands together like an evil mastermind. Klaus feels like an evil mastermind as he scans the gummy lizards and slips them into the bag. They pay and take their bags to the front to wait on the rickety benches near the claw machines that somehow, inexplicably, sit there unused. Klaus takes his change of mostly quarters and dutifully inserts eight into the machine. 

   It lights up with brightly colored, flashing LEDs and happy, childish music that makes Duncan descend into whooping laughter for no apparent reason. There's a bountiful harvest of cheap felt toys in the machine, but there's one near the back that stands out from the rest.

   It's a giant green lizard with its tongue sticking out, but Klaus isn't going to torture Quigley with this one. No, this is for him, and he's going to get that lizard out of the claw machine if it fucking kills him. Klaus cracks his knuckles and stretches his arms, hell-bent on that lizard, and starts to position the claw perfectly, beautifully, and he's taking so long that several families come out of the doors and give him strange looks. At some point, Duncan migrated to stand behind him and goad him on, and then Isadora came to rest her head gently on his shoulder and watch contentedly. Quigley stays firmly by their bags, insisting that it's not the lizard that scared him off, that's preposterous, he just wants to make sure no one steals their things. 

   It's the perfect positioning. Klaus slams his hand down on the claw button as if that will make it descend faster and catch his lizard, and it grabs it firmly by the head and lifts. It's a miracle that it doesn't fall before it reaches the chute, and then it's behind the little flappy door and Klaus is tugging it out by the tongue and the lizard is his. It's a strange, scratchy texture, but if he pets it with the grain of the fabric it's actually somewhat soft. He hugs it tight to his chest and smiles, genuinely smiles, for the first time in a while, and Duncan is patting him on the back while Isadora kisses his cheek gently. Quigley eyes the plush warily until Duncan extracts the bag of gummy lizards and presents it to his brother, who smacks him soundly on the arm and swears loudly. 

   Klaus wouldn't have it any other way.

   It's almost dark by the time they ramble up Monty's driveway and Klaus jumps out, slightly tipsy on cheap beer that went down like a mouthful of leather, but now makes his head buzz pleasantly. Duncan walks him to the door on the pretense that he's a gentleman, but it's really so Duncan can wrap him in a hug.

   "You know that we care about you," Duncan says, taking Klaus's face between his hands, "right?"

   Klaus can only smile and tip his head forward so their foreheads are resting against one another. "No doubt about it." 

Chapter Text

   Five days later, Klaus is enjoying a rare rainy day by reading on his bed with his lizard when Duncan appears in his doorway. He's slightly damp, and the scent of petrichor rolls off of him in waves; he's clutching his hat close to his chest and fidgeting with the brim. Klaus doesn't know how he didn't notice before, but there's a small golden pin stuck in the ribbon of the hat. 

   "Yes?" Klaus says, only slightly startling Duncan out of a minor stupor. 

   "Do you wanna go to the movies?" he asks, eyes darting from Klaus's pajama-clad form to the book in his hands to the lizard tucked under his arm -- never to Klaus's eyes. "It's fine if not, I know you weren't plannin' on goin' out today..."

   "What movie?"

   Duncan rustles in his jacket until he can pull out a slightly wrinkled trifolded piece of paper. "...Brokeback Mountain?" he says, like he's not sure of the title; Klaus almost falls off the bed with how hard he starts to laugh. "What?"

   "Wh-Why that particular movie?" Klaus manages between heaving laughs. "You-you do know what it's about, right?"

   "...Cowboys?" Duncan says, shrugging. "I dunno, I ain't heard of it 'till Q brung home an ad for the new movie theater town over. Had a fun picture for the movie, these two cowboys just layin' in some field." He turns the piece of paper over, and sure enough, there's an innocent picture of Jack and Ennis laying in a field, clearly in the middle of a conversation. For some reason, it only makes Klaus snort his way into another fit of laughter. 

   Klaus realizes he has two options in this situation: either he tells Duncan about the sex, or he doesn't. Looking at Duncan, in his lightwash Levi's, t-shirt that reads MAMA AIN'T RAISE NO BITCH, cowboy boots, and the hat in his hands, Klaus figures it'll be infinitely funnier if he doesn't say anything. 

   "Have you seen it?" Duncan's asking, and Klaus nods. 

   "Go hang out on the couch, I'll be out in a few minutes."

   Klaus can't help but smile the whole way there, especially as they stop at Duncan's favorite barbeque joint and they're standing in line. Duncan's hat is still on, and though he's crossed his arms across most of the words on his chest, it still reads MAMA AIN'T, and it's hilarious. He almost exudes cowboy from his pores, which makes most of the women and a couple men watch appreciatively as they wander into the main dining room. 

   "Tell me 'bout this movie," Duncan says, finally removing his hat and dropping it onto the bench beside him. "Since you're so educated in the ways of cowboy movie."

   "It's about..." Klaus starts, trying to figure out how to describe Brokeback Mountain, of all movies, without telling Duncan it's about cowboys having gay sex. "It's about these two cowboys who go up Brokeback Mountain together, to watch sheep, and then it tells the story of their lives afterwards." Perfect. It's just vague enough to conceal the truth, but specific enough, apparently, to satisfy Duncan. Luckily, the lady at the counter calls their number just in time, and Duncan snatches his hat from the bench and places it delicately on his head before meandering over to pick up their food.

   It's been a while since Klaus has seen Brokeback Mountain, sure, but he feels like he had the gist of it. Duncan seems genuinely excited about this, for whatever reason, so maybe Klaus shouldn't spoil this movie for him. Duncan appears at the end of the table and sets a plate of smoked turkey in front of Klaus, complete with homemade mac and cheese and a little plastic container of pickles. He nudges the pickles off to the side for the moment, content to wrestle with the plastic utensils and the fat of the turkey for the moment until a question pokes at the edges of his mind.

   "Are Isadora and Quigley going to meet us there?" he says, managing to catch Duncan in the middle of a massive bite of brisket. Duncan shakes his head, though, and swallows heavily.

   "Workin'," he replies, using his fork to mix his coleslaw. "Hector's an' the Walmart don't shut down 'cause of a little sprinkle." Klaus nods through his bite of turkey. "Isadora kinda smiled at me weird when I said I was gonna invite you to the movies."

   Yeah, Klaus thinks, because apparently you're gay for nerds. "No idea why," he says instead. "Are you complaning?"

   Duncan shrugs, mouth full of coleslaw, and makes a noncommital noise. 

   "Fair. Am I paying for my own ticket?" Duncan shakes his head, and makes a series of humming noises that sounds like he's trying to communicate without opening his mouth. "...O-kay."

   Duncan swallows and says, "I invited you, you ain't payin' for no ticket. Popcorn's another story."

   Klaus shakes his head. "Man. Here I thought you were the picture of a Southern gentleman. Dinner and a movie, but I don't even get popcorn?" He smiles, hoping that's enough to convey to Duncan that he's joking: for all their desire to teach Klaus a lesson, his parents were good at keeping his wallet heavy. More likely, they didn't have anything better to do with it, and they weren't sure Monty would pay him. 

   Duncan scowls. "Aw. Don't do me like that, now, I ain't..."

   "I was joking."

   Duncan places his hat firmly on his head and moves to take his tray to the trashcan. 

   "Oh, Duncan, don't..." Klaus says, following, but Duncan just adjusts his hat and gestures for Klaus to head to the exit. "Really, I..."

   "We're gonna miss the previews," Duncan says simply. "There won't be enough time to get popcorn. Git, now." A gentle smile graces his face. "Go on."

   The sun is setting when Klaus hauls himself back into Maria's cab, and the sky is streaked with oranges, red, blues, purples, pinks -- Klaus takes a moment to admire it while Duncan points them in the right direction. 

   It's almost attractive, the easy way Duncan can handle such a large vehicle with just one hand, resting the other on the door and tapping out the rhythm of the generic country song playing softly over the speakers. Klaus almost wishes he'd switch hands and rest his right on the center console, so Klaus could surreptitiously initiate a gentle brush of hands, perhaps... and then he has to physically shake himself. Beyond all of his strange idiosyncracies, Duncan is Klaus's closest friend, and maybe that's a bit pathetic, but Duncan is kind and smart and a subversion of everything Klaus thought he'd be when they'd first met. They're going to see Brokeback Mountain, and Klaus is going to laugh when Duncan realizes what it's about, and they're friends. They're friends. 

   Beyond that, though, Klaus has always craved casual affection. His parents were kind enough, but they never really hugged him for the sake of hugging him. Isadora is kind enough, but she reminds him too much of Violet to be of any interest beyond platonic -- perhaps sisterly. Duncan, though -- oh, Duncan. Duncan's fingers are deft on the steering wheel as they make a turn, and it sends a strange feeling up Klaus's spine. 

   Duncan is electrifying and terrifying in one. Klaus's mind wanders back to the way he'd hugged him that last Thursday, when he'd been so scared of his future with Carmelita, and he can't help but wish Duncan would hold him like that again. Duncan's so casually touchy as well, but it's just... casual. A pat on the back. A gentle smack on the arm. A quick ruffle of Klaus's hair. 

   The loud thunk of Duncan's hand on the steering wheel and the immediate HONK that follows drive Klaus out of his head and back into reality. 

   "'Ey dickhead! Learn the difference 'tween your brake 'n' gas!" Duncan shakes his head and honks again for emphasis. "Pavement princess."

   "What?"

   "Pavement princess," Duncan repeats, like that's supposed to explain everything. "Someone who drives a truck with no real reason to drive a truck. Like, this asshole in front of us--" Duncan gestures to the impeccably clean silver Nissan truck-- "probably bought that so he can haul his boat to the coast maybe once a year. I bet my left asscheek he can't park it for shit, too."

   "Just the left one?"

   "Just the left one." 

   "But your ass," Klaus protests, not entirely sure where he's going with it.

   "What about my ass?" Duncan laughs. "It's not like I'm Kim Kardashian or some shit. I won't be off balance or nothin' if I lose my left asscheek."

   "You have a nice ass," Klaus finds himself admitting, "and I'm sure plenty of people would be mad if you lost half of it."

   "I have a nice ass?" Duncan asks, much more genuinely than Klaus was expecting. As such, he can't find proper words to respond and instead stutters out a few syllables of several retorts that never form all the way. "Really? I have a nice ass?"

   "I'm sure some people think so," Klaus manages, and he knows his face must be bright red. 

   "Do you think I have a nice ass?" Duncan says, but Klaus can't answer because Duncan is using one hand to maneuver them into a parking spot and it's so much more attractive than it should be. When did he start thinking that Duncan's attractive? He is, objectively, but when did Klaus start casually remarking to himself that Duncan is attractive? When was that a fact that slipped from triviality into something of actual substance? 

   He feels like he's going through all the motions of walking into the theater and purchasing tickets until they're at the front of the snack line and Duncan is nudging him gently until he snaps out of it and absently orders a medium popcorn and a root beer for himself. 

   "Are you okay?" Duncan asks as Klaus drizzles objectively too much fake butter all over his popcorn. "You've been out of it since I asked if you thought I have a nice ass. Did I hit a nerve?"

   "No, no, I'm just... pondering. If you have a nice ass. Weighing it against other asses I've had the pleasure of observing." It's not a total lie, so it slips off his tongue easily. Still, he should probably tuck this whole gay panic thing away for later, because the attendant is pointing them down the hall towards their theater and eyeing Duncan's cowboy hat suspiciously. He's about to witness the culmination of the night, and he needs to be present. "It's a solid seven," Klaus adds. "Above average, but not extraordinary." 

   Duncan gasps in mock offense. "Well, I never... you are a menace."

   "And you should have a better a--- butt if you want me to rate it better." He only barely caught himself in time, but the mom accompanying a little girl (who's definitely not old enough to be watching Brokeback Mountain) gives him a glare anyways. He gestures for Duncan to go pick a seat and hangs back with the mom until he's out of earshot. She's glaring at him more intensely now, but he eyes the little girl warily and says, "You know this movie is about cowboys having... gay sex, right?" He's not sure if the little girl knows what sex is, but it's worth a shot. 

   The mom's eyes nearly pop out of her skull. 

   "Yeah... it's in the first, like, twenty minutes, too." He smiles awkwardly down at the little girl, in her bright pink t-shirt adorned with a sparkly unicorn. She can't be older than six.

   "Thank you," the mom whispers, tugging her little girl out by the arm. "Lord, I thought this movie was just about... the flyer didn't say anything..."

   "Yeah, that flyer was... misleading, to say the least." He gives the mom another awkward smile and moves to join Duncan, who's sat himself in the direct center of the theater. 

   "Wha' 'as 'at 'bout?" Duncan asks, mouth already full of popcorn. A gaggle of teenage girls moves in just as Klaus sits down with a middle-aged-man sigh, giggling and whispering amongst themselves. One of them spots Duncan and Klaus and nudges her friend, and all of a sudden this whole little posse is turned to stare at them. Duncan tips his hat at them and shoves another handful of popcorn into his mouth. 

   "That little girl wasn't old enough to be watching this movie," Klaus says, and Duncan turns to him with a strange look on his face.

   "What, does one of 'em get eaten by coyotes or som'n?"

   "Spoilers," Klaus whispers, keeping one tentative eye on the girls, mostly because he's not sure how old they are but they definitely think he's cute. He has enough experience with girls to know that if they think he's cute, they won't leave him alone until he's satisfied them in some way -- his number, a kiss on the cheek, that sort of thing. Luckily, most of their attention seems to be on Duncan, who isn't reacting to them at all. It's the hat.

   Is it?

   No, no, no. That's gay panic. It goes in the gay panic corner to wait until Klaus has time to figure it out. 

   (It's definitely the hat -- but it's probably other things, too.)

   The girls are inching distressingly close, giggling and poking each other, until they're in the same row as Duncan and Klaus and one of them steps forward.

   "Hi," she says, swooning a little bit when Duncan turns his attention to her. "Um-- I was wondering if my friends and I -- mostly just me, though -- if I could get your numbers?"

   "How old are you?" Klaus asks, hoping to God that he doesn't come off as rude, only curious. He wants to be rude, for some reason, and he bristles at the way the girl's attention drifts to Duncan's hand as he takes off his hat in one smooth motion. 

   "Sixteen," she says, "most of my friends are, too."

   "Ooh, we're too old for you," Duncan says, wincing a little. "No, much too old. I'm not catching a case--- plus, you ladies aren't really my type." The girl deflates almost comically, looking to her friends for support. 

   "Well -- how old are you?"

   "I'll be twenty-one in August." Really? They share a birth month -- Klaus wonders vaguely if Duncan's birthday is before or after his own. 

   "That's not... that bad."

   "The answer's still no," Duncan says, and Klaus can tell all pretense of politeness has dropped from Duncan's mind -- or, as much as it can drop. "Besides..." 

   In an instant, Duncan's hand is resting gently on top of Klaus's where he's been resting it on the armrest, and Klaus decides to play into it, because even though he's short-circuiting, just pretending like he and Duncan are on a date will likely make the girl go away. So, Klaus turns his hand over and tangles his and Duncan's fingers together, somewhat surprised to find it's warm and soft, though callused. 

   "I only have eyes for one fish in this sea," Duncan finishes, flashing a fond smile over at Klaus, who nearly melts. He almost forgets the girl's even there until she clears her throat -- but it's not her, it's one of her friends. 

   "Listen---"

   "No, you listen," Klaus says, surprising even himself. "Duncan's told you more than once that we're not interested. Take a hint, or I'm going to report you to one of the employees here and I'm sure they'll help you girls understand on the way out." He takes a deep breath and holds it as the girl scoffs and walks off, hoping his hand isn't shaking too badly. He doesn't breathe out until the girls are moving to another set of seats, sending them disgusted glares, which is better than flirtatious glances. "That was really embarrassing."

   "Definitely. For them." Duncan shoots him another smile -- their hands are still threaded together. "You were great, though."

   "You're still holding my hand," is the only thing Klaus can think to say in return.

   "Well, yeah," Duncan says, like Klaus had just said the sky is blue. Then, he leans closer so he can conspiratorially whisper, "If we're gonna convince them we're in love, we can't just scramble to it when they're lookin'. We gotta sell it even when their backs are turned." Then comes a pair of kisses, one to his cheek and one on his temple, before Duncan leans down and steals a sip of Klaus's root beer. "So sweet of you to get my favorite, baby," he says louder, layering honey and sugar on his voice.

   Oh, fuck. 

   "Of-of course," Klaus stutters, and luckily Duncan doesn't have enough time to look over and see his rapidly warming face because the lights are dimming and it's time for the movie to start. It's game time -- it's showtime. 

   "How could you not tell me they fuck twenty minutes in?? I feel like that's a crucial plot point that you should have mentioned!"

   It's late, objectively, but Klaus is laughing his ass off as they drive back home. "I did-didn't want to-to spoil it for you," he manages, and Duncan makes a series of sputtering syllables.

   "Bare ass! On the screen! They went fucking bareback -- dick in asshole -- twenty minutes into this fucking movie, and I was not prepared at all!" Duncan runs his free hand through his hair. Somehow, it started raining harder since they left the movie theater, and the windshield wipers are moving the speed of light so Duncan has at least half a chance at seeing. "Klaus, that was a whole-ass porno with a shit-load of plot---"

   "And you cried at the end when Jack died!"

   "He was beat to death in a ditch! You think I'm not scared that same fuckin' thing is gonna happen to me?" That sentence is sobering, and Klaus immediately calms down. It takes him a couple more giggles to stop laughing entirely, but he does after a minute or so. "Fuck, that was heavy, I'm sorry."

   "No, don't apologize. I understand."

   "It's just..." Duncan sighs. "Livin' where I do, and bein' who I am... I really know how they felt. Gay sex aside, I-I feel like I could've been there, that I could've lived what they did." Klaus turns to face Duncan and finds a sincere look of pain on Duncan's face. "I mean... this kind of time, I know it's unlikely, but..."

   "Everyone's afraid of something," Klaus murmurs. "I'm afraid of bees and chiropractors."

   "...Chiropractors?"

   "I don't trust anyone with my bones, is that unreasonable?"

   "No," Duncan says, "it's just... that's so you." 

   And oh, if that isn't just... well. The fond tone in Duncan's voice makes all the right things light up in Klaus's brain; his chest is warm and he realizes that even though Duncan is his friend, he knows. He knows. Duncan knows him in a way that no one ever has. It's comforting, he realizes. It's safe.

   "I've actually never told anyone that," Klaus admits. "But... I feel safe."

   Duncan is silent for a moment, and it makes Klaus realize that the song playing over the radio is a love song. It feels symbolic in a way that he's sure is occuring to Duncan as well, judging by the slow softening of his expression and the way he takes gentle glances off the road towards Klaus. 

   "You are safe." It's a promise delivered in a honey-coated accent that makes Klaus realize he hasn't thought about Carmelita in days. He hasn't thought about leaving -- his parents' plans for him -- going to college. There isn't enough room. It makes him smile, and Duncan switches his hands on the steering wheel to gently squeeze Klaus's own hand over the center console. "Ain't nothin' gonna get you. Not here. Not with me." 

   "For the record, I do think you have a nice ass," Klaus says, and Duncan laughs. It's different than when they're with Quigley and Isadora: more genuine. More gentle. 

   "I'm delighted."

Chapter Text

   The next morning, Klaus's alarm goes off at six-thirty, just like it's supposed to, and he rolls out of bed and straight onto the floor. Not part of the plan. Still, he pulls himself up and pulls on the outfit he'd picked out the night before regardless. He combs his hair and unwraps a piece of gum from the pack he normally keeps in his car but now rests on his bookshelf. 

   It's totally normal to make breakfast for your coworker turned best friend turned probable crush, Klaus thinks. Never mind that Monty's probably going to roll out of bed, decide it's too muddy to work, and call Duncan to tell him to not come in -- but Klaus will fix that if it happens. For now, he fumbles with the light switch, digs the fresh eggs out of the cascarones cartons in the fridge (why Monty keeps his chickens' eggs in confetti egg containers, Klaus will never know), and decides he's going to make French toast. 

   He's halfway into making a recipe he found on the Internet when Monty meanders into the kitchen and stares blankly at Klaus puttering around the kitchen. 

   "Klaus," he begins.

   "'S for Duncan," Klaus replies, focusing very hard on making sure every inch of the bread is coated in egg. "I wanted to thank him for paying for my movie ticket last night -- and you know he won't take cash." 

   "You went to the movies with Duncan last night?"

   "...Yes?" Klaus looks up from his egg wash to see Monty standing in the doorway to the kitchen with his arms crossed. "What, is that not okay?"

   "I think it's quite nice of him, actually. Your mother's been complaining to me for years that you never seem to have any friends, so -- I'm glad you have someone." Monty moves further into the kitchen to pat him on the back, and Klaus turns back to his work until he hears the clang of a cast-iron on Monty's stove. "I'll cook, you coat."

   Klaus smiles and pushes the paper plate of coated bread closer to the stove.

   It's nearly fully light outside when Maria's telltale rumble permeates the screen door and mixes with Blazer and Queenie's incessant barking. Klaus looks up from where he's trying to determine the expiration date on a bottle of maple syrup as panic sets in -- just a little. If all else fails, they have honey from the beehives, but French toast is never quite right except with maple syrup. 

   "Monty, why am I here?" Duncan asks, shoving his way in the screen door. "It's muddier'n a Louisiana bayou out there, I almost got stuck."

   "Oh," Monty says, resting his palm against his forehead while flipping the last slices of toast. "Oh, God forbid you get a little muddy on a farm--"

   "Ain't nothin' gettin' done today! Too wet to run the tractor, the horses'll get stuck, the bees're busy in their hive----"

   "Monty didn't call you to tell you not to come because I asked him not to," Klaus says, and Duncan flounders for a moment, like he'd just noticed him. "I-I knew you wouldn't take money for me to pay you back for last night, so I decided I'd make you breakfast."

   "Oh. Oh, you didn't have to..."

   "I know." Klaus fixes him with a knowing glance and fills it with as much emotion as he dares. "I wanted to." His words make Duncan deflate a little bit, tension draining from his body, and he pulls one of the chairs out from the table and sits sideways in it, so he can still watch Klaus and Monty in the kitchen. "Can you help me with this? I can't find the expiration date..."

   Duncan lights up at the prospect of helping. "Here, gimme." Klaus moves towards the table and dutifully hands the bottle to Duncan before dropping into another chair. It's interesting to just observe Duncan as he does things in his natural way, because it's so different to Klaus's way -- they're so different from each other that their friendship shouldn't really work, but it does. Duncan's first instinct is to turn the bottle upside down and peer suspiciously at the dark, viscous liquid inside. Then, he flips it right side up and unscrews the cap, sniffing it and running one finger around the edge so he can lick it tentatively. 

   "Oh," Duncan says, brows meeting as he examines the underside of the cap. "'S right here." He turns the cap over in his fingers to display the text that is, indeed, written very clearly on the inside of the cap. "Tastes fine, anyway." Duncan caps the bottle and licks the remaning syrup from his finger as Monty deposits a porcelain plate of French toast in the center of the table, along with two smaller plates.

   "I'm fixin' to go to Walmart," Monty says gruffly, "so behave yourselves while I'm gone." With that, he wanders back into his bedroom and shuts the door tight, and Duncan and Klaus are left alone. The dogs have made their way outside, probably to roll in the fresh mud. 

   They're silent for a moment as Duncan takes a plate and unscrews the syrup again, pouring a generous amount onto his plate and dunking a stick of toast in. He pauses with it halfway to his mouth.

   "I just realized I never actually came out to you," he murmurs, eyebrows meeting in the middle. "Oh, shit. Oh, God, do you think I'm straight?"

   Klaus snorts. "You'll be straight when Quigley stops being afraid of lizards." Both are such absurd notions in Klaus's brain that it feels akin to saying you'll be straight when pigs fly. 

   "I mean, I'd date a woman," Duncan says, taking a bite of his toast. "If I liked 'er enough. I have dated women -- and they sure seem to like me. But I've never gone out of my way to attract them. That's Isadora's thing." He swallows and starts on another slice. "However. I would let Suki from Avatar: The Last Airbender step on me. 'N' Amelia Earhart from the second Night at the Museum."

   "Ohmygod, I had such a big crush on Ahkmenrah." Duncan lights up, smiling and pointing at Klaus with his piece of toast. "Oh fuck, and Peeta? From The Hunger Games?" Klaus gives a chef's kiss to the air. "Something about soft men."

   "You and Quigley should bond about that," Duncan says. "He calls them his 'poor little meow meows,' 'n' I have no clue what the fuck that means. So do you-- are you--" 

   "I'm gay," Klaus says quietly. 

   "Bi," Duncan says, smiling gently, "but oh, Lord, do I have a preference for men." 

   "Men," Klaus parrots, in an exaggerated swooning tone. Monty chooses that exact moment to step out of his room, looking very much like he did when he went in. "Hi."

   Monty just nods appreciatively, and Klaus smiles awkwardly until Monty makes his merry way out the screen door. 

   "Who cracked the egg?" Duncan asks, drawing Klaus back. "No--- no. Let me guess." He sets his half-eaten piece of toast back on his plate, removes his hat, and strokes a non-existent beard. "Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon." 

   "No." Klaus decides it's prime time to take a few pieces of toast before Duncan can eat them all, so he does. "He is animated, though."

   "Okay, that narrows it down. Hmmmm..." 

   Duncan rises from his chair and circles Klaus like a curious cat. 

   "Spiderman. Specifically Andrew Garfield Spiderman."

   "...Andrew Garfield is not animated." 

   "Damn. Um... I'm sensin' he's... hmm." Duncan drops back into his chair and props his chin up on his hand, narrowing his eyes in the process. "This is tough. Bill Nye."

   "Did you know there are seven 'Bill's after 'Bill Nye the Science Guy'? But, no. Still not animated." 

   "But am I gettin' closer?"

   "Yes, actually." Klaus takes a bite of his toast, finding it actually quite good. "Educational TV show host is... definitely a phrase I could use to describe him."

   Duncan's eyes narrow even further. "No."

   Klaus tilts his head. 

   "Which... which fuckin' Kratt brother was it? There is a wrong answer, by the way. Choose wisely." 

   Klaus blinks a couple times. "Chris." Duncan smiles and nods in satisfaction. "I mean, like, Martin is great and all, but he's not Chris. They both hold a special spot in my heart, though. Ooh, who was yours?" 

   "I'm gonna be so deadass right now. Don't laugh." Klaus nods. "Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters."

   "That's... actually, I see that. Is that why Quigley thinks your type is nerds?"

   "No, he thinks that because he's right, but Egon was the beginning." Duncan lays his hands flat on the table. "Listen. Seven year old me looked at Egon Spengler, PhD, and it altered my fuckin' brain." Klaus nods in complete understanding -- he's been there before. "Girls, I ain't picky. But men? Ohohohoho! If he can't run circles around me intellectually, I don't want 'im."

   "You're quite intelligent," Klaus says. "That'll be quite a hurdle for a lot of men."

   "Yeah, I know, I'm smart for some hick in a backwater town---"

   "No, I mean you're smart. Maybe not in the way that translates well to a traditional school, but you're versed in the classics -- Greek classics -- I mean, I had a whole class on mythology and analytics of Greek literature and I don't know half the things you do about the myths. You're so much smarter than you give yourself credit for."

   Duncan stares at him in disbelief for a moment. "You really think so?"

   "I know so." He almost surprises himself by how true the words are. Duncan's shoulders drop as a small, fond smile comes across his face. "You're my best friend, Duncan, you really think I haven't noticed how smart you are?"

   "I'm your best friend?"

   "Yeah," Klaus breathes, "yes, you are. God, I-I got up an hour early on a day I knew wasn't a good working day and I made you breakfast because I-- I care. I think you're smart, and funny, and sweet, and you're handsome to boot -- and you make me feel safe even though everything here is so new. You're my best friend." 

   "You're my best friend, too, Klaus," Duncan says, and Klaus finds he loves the way his name sounds in Duncan's amber accent. "Hey, listen, they're runnin' one of my favorite movies at the theater tomorrow. How'd you like to go? We could get Southside again."

   "That sounds great."

Chapter Text

   It's just gently drizzling when Maria rumbles up to the house. Klaus has been sitting sideways in the armchair in Monty's living room for the past hour, halfway focused on Red, White, and Royal Blue. He's done himself up for the occasion, even going so far as to dab on a bit of the chapstick Isadora had snuck into his pocket God knows when: black jeans and a green button up halfway undone over a black t-shirt with a moth printed on it. Monty is puttering around in the kitchen, singing to himself, occasionally interrupted by the clang of pots and pans. 

   Duncan lets himself in, taking his hat off as he does, peering around the house until Klaus clears his throat. 

   "You ready?" Duncan says, grinning as Klaus hauls himself out of the chair. It's a surprisingly cozy chair, and it's deep enough that Klaus visibly sank into it when he sat down, but that means it takes real effort to pull himself back out of it. Duncan watches him, eyes raking over his outfit, and adds, "You look nice."

   "Thank you." Klaus turns in a circle to show off all angles of his outfit. "I don't have many excuses to dress up here."

   Duncan scoffs. "You call those silly shirts you're always wearin' plain?" Klaus gasps in mock offense as Duncan opens the door, revealing the edges of a sunset and Monty's slowly darkening front yard. "You always look nice. You're more creative w'your wardrobe than me."

   "It's called fashion," Klaus says, exaggerating his stride into more of a sashay, "and Mother wouldn't let me be caught dead without a fun little outfit on."

   "You sure it isn't the gay?"

   "...That, too." Maria chirps as Duncan unlocks the doors, and Klaus climbs in and settles himself as comfortably as he can in the cracked leather seat. "You really need to get these replaced."

   "Can't. She's Monty's, remember?" Klaus shakes his head and sighs. "C'mon. Don't focus on the seat. Izzy tell you the story of that customer she got the other day?"

   "I haven't talked to Isadora since... hmm. Last week, I think." Duncan makes a confused noise. "I don't have her number. Come to think of it, I don't have yours, either." Duncan makes another noise, with less confusion and more distress. "What?"

   "What if there's an emergency?" Duncan says, sounding very worried that there will be an emergency. "You need my phone number. Remind me when we get to Southside." Klaus smiles.

   "What about that customer?"

   "Oh, that dickhead? Alright..."

   The drive is uneventful. A Prius almost hits them as they're walking into the restaurant, and Duncan swears loudly at the driver who turns out to be a teenager with what seems like an entire town's worth of people in her car. A boy who looks like a football player evolved to not need a helmet yells back, but Klaus just grabs Duncan's forearm and tugs him into the restaurant. 

   "The fuck was that for?"

   "He doesn't deserve your attention," Klaus says, pulling Duncan into the line. "He's just some kid. I won't let you get into a fight tonight."

   Duncan doesn't say anything, but he glares emphatically at the gaggle of giggling teenagers that gather in line behind them. 

   "Tell me about this movie we're going to see," Klaus says in an effort to get Duncan's attention off of the kids. "Not Brokeback Mountain again, I hope."

   "No, no. It's, um... promise you won't start laughin'."

   "'Course."

   Duncan shoves his hands in his pockets and dips his head so Klaus can only see the brim of his hat. 

   "Oh, come on, don't chicken out on me now."

   "I ain't chicken," Duncan says, lifting his head back up to glare playfully at Klaus. It occurs to him then that, probably unconsciously, he'd managed to pick out a shirt that exactly matches Duncan's eyes. Perhaps that was why Duncan had decided to comment on how nice he looks -- but then he realizes he's staring right into Duncan's eyes and has been for far too long. "Ten Things I Hate About You."

   "You have ten already? Damn."

   Duncan sighs heavily and crosses his arms. 

   "I mean, we've known each other for, like, less than a month. You'd think you'd have less than ten things you don't like about me."

   Duncan raises one eyebrow and tilts his head to the side.

   "Wait, why are we still friends if you have a curated list of ten things you---... that's the movie, isn't it."

   Duncan doesn't say anything for a moment, electing instead to stare at Klaus in a mixture of exasperation and something that looks like fondness. "You are so pretty," he says, eyes sparkling. Klaus feels his face warm under the attention, and Duncan smiles. "Didn't mean it as a compliment, but I s'pose it's true regardless."

   "Oh, you. Wait, how was that not a compliment?"

   "It's supposed to imply you ain't smart. Sort of like you're lucky you're pretty -- which would end with 'cause you ain't smart if we were heathens." Klaus pouts playfully, going so far as to push his bottom lip out, to which Duncan's smile becomes a grin. "Be careful a bird don't land on that lip." 

   "You have the strangest sayings," Klaus says. "It's endearing."

   "I'm flattered," Duncan says, taking off his hat and dipping into a shallow bow in one fluid motion. "And I thought I was the flirt in this relationship."

   "You..." Klaus begins, not sure where he's supposed to end, because he's thoroughly confused. "What?"

   "What d'you mean, what?"

   "You've been flirting with me?" Duncan puts his hat back on and dips his head again to avoid answering. "No, no-- Duncan, answer my question."

   "...Occasionally, yeah," he says quietly. "Y'know. As friends. I thought you knew, 'cause sometimes you'd flirt back. You let Isadora kiss you all the time."

   "She's like my sister," Klaus argues, but then it's their turn to order and he has to sit on it for a moment. Duncan flirts-- it's an absurd notion. But the longer Klaus thinks about it, the less absurd it sounds. Duncan has always been cozy with him, even when they weren't really friends, and he's only been more complimentary -- sweeter -- since then. Sometimes, Duncan will say something and Klaus will blush, but then he'll dig up a witty retort somewhere in his brain and they'll move on, but lately those little comments have been building up in his mind and he'll lay awake in his little bed, listening to the hum of the air conditioner, thinking about those sweet words in Duncan's honey-dark voice. 

   He follows Duncan wordlessly to a table and props his chin on his hand when they sit down.

   "Oh, Lord," Duncan says, and Klaus looks up at him. "D'you want me to stop?"

   "Never said that," Klaus says.

   Noise erupts from the table of teenagers as they all burst into raucous laughter. Some of them look eerily familiar, and Klaus realizes that it's the girls from the last movie. Luckily, a few boys tagged along this time, so they're caught up in their own group. The woman at the counter calls Duncan's name, so he rises, and then Klaus is left alone with himself. 

   The notion occurs that he likes the way Duncan talks to him, and it's like a dam breaks in his mind.

   He likes it. He likes it, and he wants more. Duncan sets a tray down before him and drops into the chair opposite Klaus with a heavy sigh. "Sorry."

   "What for?" Klaus says, unwrapping his utensils.

   "I just... seems like I made you uncomfortable." Duncan takes off his hat and sets it on the table next to him. He seems genuinely upset by the idea that he'd done something wrong, and Klaus finds himself smiling fondly.

   "What makes you say that?"

   Duncan pushes his coleslaw around for a moment. "Sometimes... you shut down. Somethin'll happen, and you'll just... retreat, and it makes me worry I did somethin' wrong."

   "It's almost never that," Klaus says reassuringly. "Maybe, like, when we first met and I didn't like you, but it's because I just need a second to think. Not good or bad. I just need to think about it for a moment."

   Duncan nods, distracting himself by sawing his sausage into chunks with the dull plastic knife. 

   "I don't... process things the way other people do," Klaus continues.

   "No, I get it," Duncan says. "You're a put together person, so when somethin' happens that you ain't prepared for, it takes you a second to figure it out."

   "Yeah."

   Duncan hums absently. "So, did I?"

   "Make me uncomfortable?" Duncan nods. "No. If I'm being honest, it's actually kind of fun."

   "Really?"

   "Really. I never really had friends I could be open with back in Dallas. It was always... political seems like the best word for it." Klaus sighs. "No one ever thought much about real friends, just what would get them further in life. It's why I've never really dated, either."

   "Pretty face like yours never got asked on a date?"

   "I got asked plenty. I never really knew any of them, so I turned them down. Besides, it wasn't in my parents' plans for me, so I wasn't allowed to."

   "Your parents and these fuckin' plans," Duncan murmurs.

   "They're my parents. They know what's best for me."

   "No, they think they know what's best for you." Duncan points at Klaus's chest with the prong end of his fork. "You're a person. You're different from them, no matter how much they wanna live vicariously through you. You'll always be different from them, and while they might have known what's best for you when you were a young'in, you're old enough to make your own decisions now. How old are you?"

   "Nineteen."

   Duncan just tilts his head to the side. 

   "You're saying that they don't know what's best."

   "Well, you're miserable, ain't you?" Klaus nods hesitantly. "They're makin' you marry a girl you hate, forcin' you into school and then a job... and you're dreadin' every second."

   "...Yeah."

   Duncan sets his fork down and lays his hand over the one Klaus has rested on the table. It makes a spark shoot up Klaus's arm, pleasant and warm, and unconsciously he turns his hand over so his palm is facing up.

   "They don't want what's best for you. They want to control you."

   It's true, and that realization hits Klaus like a brick wall. Their family isn't in any sort of spotlight, outside of elite social circles that really only matter to the matriarchs of the old-money families, so there's no real reason for him to act a certain way, like his parents insisted. He's never had any sort of clip to his voice the way other people did -- he's never felt Southern or Texan -- he just lives here. There's no reason for any of it, and in that lies the reason: it's never been about him. It's always been about control and living vicariously. They have no regard for how he feels about the situation, and he has a sinking feeling even if he told them he hated Carmelita and didn't want to go to law school, he'd find himself in a graduation gown with a ring on his finger anyway.

   "...I've always wanted to be a writer," Klaus says quietly. "At first my parents encouraged me, because I needed to know how to write to be a lawyer. But eventually they realized my 'childish' little stories gave me more passion than writing essays, and they decided they had to stamp it out." He sighs, and Duncan's hand tightens minutely around his own. "I keep a journal under my bed that has all my ideas in it, and I always dreamed of making it big as an author one day, but..."

   "That's what you should do," Duncan says. "Be a writer, I mean. I'd buy your books."

   Klaus smiles fondly over at Duncan. 

   "Now, don't get it in your head that I'm sayin' your parents don't care about you, 'cause they probably do. I can't see how anybody wouldn't care about you. I'm just sayin' they don't know what's best anymore. Different things."

   "I know. They love me, I know that, they're just..."

   "Controlling."

   In the back of his mind, Klaus wonders how Duncan managed to discern all that from what little Klaus has told him about his parents. He doesn't get much time to ponder, though, because Duncan checks the time and jumps out of his chair, saying something about missing the movie. 

   The movie is actually Ten Things I Hate About You, and Duncan seems genuinely excited for this one. This time, the theater is running a promotion --two cups of soda and a large popcorn for less than it would cost for them to each get their own popcorn-- so Klaus pulls out his wallet and bats Duncan's cash-filled hand away as he taps his debit card on the reader. An old lady gives them the side eye as Duncan shakes an unholy amount of white cheddar flavored powder over the popcorn, probably for reasons other than the flavoring. Klaus ignores her.

   She hisses something at their backs that rhymes with maggots as they walk off, and Duncan sticks his hand behind them, probably to flip her off. Klaus smacks his arm gently as they find their theater and sit down in the center, just like last time. This time, Duncan lifts the armrest that separates them so he can settle the popcorn tub between them, so they can both reach it. Klaus's heart skips at a vague memory of watching a teen movie with a scene just like this. 

   Soon, though, the theater darkens, and the previews start. 

   They're about halfway through the movie when it happens. 

   Klaus moves his hand over to the bucket and reaches in just as Duncan's hand does the same, and even though it's just the lightest brush of hands, it sends sparks through Klaus's veins.

   "Sorry," Duncan whispers, barely audible over the movie. His hand withdraws, but the warmth stays, and suddenly Klaus can't focus on the movie. Still, he tries to remain nonchalant and takes his handful of popcorn without comment. 

   Duncan is always so casually touchy, but it's never made Klaus feel like this. He's so warm that he feels a little lightheaded, and he wonders vaguely if this is what it means to have butterflies. Duncan is so sweet, and Klaus can almost hear Duncan's smooth, honey-coated voice calling his name and telling him he loves him. The thought alone sends another spike of warmth into his chest. 

   Before long, Klaus realizes the movie's over and the lights are coming back up. The tub of popcorn is almost empty, and Duncan is tugging it up from its position between them. Klaus blinks blearily for a moment before getting his bearings and grabbing the edge of the tub to help.

    Then, they're in the hallway, throwing away their empty cups and the tub, and Klaus brushes his hand against Duncan's intentionally. Duncan makes a little noise in the back of his throat, a mix between confusion and surprise, and follows it with, "You need somethin'?"

   "No," Klaus says, but his heart is dropping just a little. "No, let's go."

   Then, they're driving home, and it's silent, giving Klaus a moment to think. Was Duncan flirting just to flirt -- just for the sake of making Klaus react in some way? He knows Klaus is gay, so what is he expecting? For Klaus to just brush off all the little things he says?

   Pretty boy, Duncan will say, or he'll run a hand down Klaus's back just to make him shudder. Sometimes he'll send Klaus to perform tasks just so he can whistle appreciatively at Klaus's ass, which never fails to make Klaus blush. Beneath all that, though, is a layer of care that shows through in everything Duncan does. It's endearing to watch him stick his tongue out of the corner of his mouth while fixing something, or to hear him reading a picture book to one of the horses. They like it, he's insisted. 

   On top of that, he's handsome and strong, two things Klaus has always been weak to. His hands are warm and callused, he's tall enough to look Klaus in the eye without craning his neck, and he can lift haybales the size of Klaus with as much effort as it takes Klaus to lift a bunch of grapes. 

   Sure, he has his little idiosyncracies, but they're all harmless. Besides, he's funny and smart, so it's not like he's at a loss for positive qualities. 

   Fuck, Klaus thinks. Duncan is perfect, and he's sitting less than a foot away from him, and they've just been on what was definitely a date.

   Fuck.

Chapter Text

   Klaus opens his laptop to find his manuscript staring at him, exactly as he'd left it the previous night. After his talk with Duncan last week, he'd come home to open a document program, grab his notebook from under the mattress, and start pouring words onto a page. He's sitting at a solid three thousand after a week of working on it for a few minutes each night, and it's morphing from a magical adventure to a magical romance. 

   That's not what he's sitting in front of his laptop for, but he taps out a few lines anyway while he waits for his mother to send the call request. Apparently, it's becoming a scheduled thing: every two weeks, his mother will call him to check in on him.

   Knowing what he does now, it feels like just another way to control him -- to make sure he's still their perfect little boy. Duncan's mowing the lawn, and the gentle hum of the lawnmower grounds him when it passes by his window. He pulls the shades up and watches Duncan's shirtless form shove the lawnmower in neat lines until his computer chimes and he's forced to close them, lest his mother know he's watching his crush mow the lawn, of all things. 

   "Hello, darling," his mother says sweetly when the call connects.

   "Hi, Mom." His mother smiles at him and tilts her head slightly.

   "What are you thinking about?"

   "Just... I'm a little homesick." He startles himself with how easily the lie rolls off his tongue. "I miss being home."

   "Oh," his mother cooes. "We miss you, too, darling. Perhaps I'll convince your father to drive us down sometime next month. How does that sound?"

   Terrible. "Okay."

   "Okay. How's everything going? Monty said you've made a few friends." 

   "...A couple, yeah."

   His mother looks at him expectantly. 

   "Um... there's Isadora. She's nice. And Quigley -- he's cool. He's afraid of lizards. We went shopping together the other day and I got this." He holds his lizard up to the camera, flattened from where he hugs it at night. It hits him that it's been two whole weeks since their trip. 

   "Oh, well, now I must convince your father to come down. They sound like wonderful friends." Klaus just nods, staring into the camera until his mother speaks again. "Carmelita told me you've been ignoring her texts and calls."

   He has. Intentionally, too. She's called him several times a day over the last week, each one followed by anywhere from one to six texts asking various things (where are you, what are you doing, why are you ignoring me -- things in that vein). 

   "There's not much service out here," he says, instead of admitting that there's always at least two bars and he's just obsessing over Duncan instead. "Tell her I'm sorry, really."

   "She misses you. Maybe more than us. She's always telling me all about her plans for the wedding, and then your house... children, too." His mother smiles. 

   "...I miss her, too." That lie almost chokes him, but he manages to get it out without throwing up. "Mom, I---"

   Then, the mower passes right under his window, and Duncan's sparkling eyes appear through the slats, playful and kind. The mower sputters for a moment, then cuts out entirely, which leaves Duncan's shout of "Fuck damnit!" entirely and completely audible for his mother. 

   "What was that?" his mother asks, just barely disguising disgust under curiosity. 

   "Duncan. Listen, I should go help him," he says, and his mother barely manages to tell him I love you before he shuts the laptop and practically flies into the backyard. "Duncan---"

   "I got it, I got it, it's just outta gas." He's bent over the top of the motor, examining it, and Klaus starts to quiver. 

   "Duncan----" This time he can't keep the shake from his voice. Duncan straightens, meets Klaus's eyes, and opens his arms; Klaus practically falls into him, not even caring about the sweat pouring in buckets off of Duncan's soft browned skin. He tucks his head down into Duncan's neck and makes an embarrassing little whimper-sobbing noise, but Duncan just smoothes his hand over Klaus's back and holds him there. 

   "I'm sorry," Duncan says quietly, but Klaus just shakes his head and takes a deep, heaving breath. "No, I'm sorry, 'cause I know it's that silly mama of yours... and that girl."

   "It's like," he says, pulling his head out of the crook of Duncan's shoulder, "it's like they're all thinking about this idea of the future and I'm just trying to figure out how I feel about it."

   Duncan tilts his head and focuses those bright green eyes on Klaus's face.

   "My mom told me Carmelita's thinking about kids already." Duncan sucks in a breath. "And the thing is, I can see it, and all I can think about is how miserable I'm going to be for the rest of my life. The monotony -- the lovelessness of it all---" He cuts himself off with a choked-off sob, and Duncan tugs him back into a tight hug. 

   "Izzy and Q are working tonight, but I'm takin' you back to the apartment." There's no room for argument, but Klaus doesn't want there to be. He knows Duncan is doing it out of care, and he doesn't think he should be alone today anyway. "After work, I mean. We'll go down to Hector's, or somethin'. Go pack up a li'l bag when you're ready." Klaus nods, but he doesn't pull away from Duncan's arms. "I won't let go. Not 'till you're ready."

   "Thank you," Klaus manages, muffled by Duncan's shoulder. Duncan mumbles out a small of course and squeezes lightly. Klaus should be over the moon at the contact, but all he can feel is the pit in his stomach at the thought of Carmelita: of watching her walk down the aisle, of having to force himself to make children with her. He feels physically sick at the idea of waking up next to her for the rest of his life.

   As if he'd read Klaus's mind, Duncan says, "You can't let 'em sink their claws into you. The moment you stop fightin' -- the moment you give up and let 'em control you -- that's when your life ends. I'll be here to help, but one day you're gonna have to put your foot down and say That's the line. No more."

   "I want it to stop," he admits quietly. "I want them to realize that they're hurting me."

   "I'll help you tell 'em, if you want. Figure out what to say." Klaus nods, and starts to pull back from Duncan's arms. "You good for now?"

   "For a little while, yeah." Duncan lays a gentle hand on Klaus's cheek. "Thank you," he says again.

   "You're my best friend."

   Klaus can only smile bittersweetly before he pulls out of Duncan's arms entirely. He can feel Duncan's piercing eyes on his back as he steps back into the house. He wanders into his room slowly to find Duncan gone from his view, probably off to get the gas can from wherever he'd left it. He pulls the blinds completely open -- he's not sure why. Then, he opens his closet and picks out a few clothes at random. It's not like it'll really matter once they get there. Klaus has no delusions about Duncan's feelings for him anymore. They're friends, and it would do his heart good to figure that out like his head has. They're friends, and they're going to have a sleepover because they're friends and that's what friends do.

   A knock comes to his window and Klaus pivots to see Duncan waving and smiling at him through the glass. Klaus smiles and waves back, which satisfies Duncan enough that he turns around and begins to fiddle with the lawnmower and goddamnit Klaus is gay. Duncan's shoulders are browned with sun and broad with muscle, and Klaus wants to kiss his way down it. He wants to smooth his hands over that skin, wants to feel the muscles underneath move as Duncan works. 

   He wants it, he wants Duncan, but he can't have him, because they're friends and that's all they'll ever be. 

   He shakes his head, trying to pull himself away from his thoughts. It's incredible how Duncan can make him forget all about Carmelita with just his presence. Still, he's not done packing for his little sleepover, and he needs to tell Monty it's even happening, so he drops his clothes on his bed, turns on his heel, and makes his way into his bathroom for his toiletries. 

   He catches Monty in the kitchen, puttering around in only a pair of ratty sweatpants. 

   "Uncle Monty?" he calls, startling him, so he adds, "sorry."

   "No, you're fine."

   "I just wanted to tell you I'm staying over at Duncan's tonight." Monty looks him up and down with a raised eyebrow.

   "Okay."

   Klaus nods once, curt, and heads back to his room. Duncan is still bent over, messing with the mower, but now it's accompanied by the occasional swear word. Klaus drops his things on his bed unceremoniously, unlocks his window, and tugs it open with no small amount of force. 

   "Need help?" he asks, making Duncan jump and swear once more. "Sorry."

   "Naw, ain't nothin'. Damn thing's given out on me. Have to do the rest wit' the weed whacker."

   Klaus tilts his head to the side as Duncan sighs heavily. He kicks it once for good measure, but the mower just sits there, silent, still.

   "Least it's not a lot," he adds.

   "I mean, yeah," Klaus says. "But is it really all that important?"

   Duncan gives him a look that says I like my job, thanks. "Gotta go put on a shirt's the thing I don' wanna do. Too damn hot."

   I'll say, Klaus thinks. 

   "I'll be right back." With that, he stalks off, grumbling unintelligibly under his breath. Klaus leaves his window open but heads back to his closet to pick out clothes, tugging off his shirt as he does. He picks out a plain black t-shirt and a pair of army green pants, tossing them on his bed as Duncan's footsteps reappear. 

   "Almost couldn't..." Duncan starts, but his voice trails off. Klaus looks up to see him staring at Klaus's bare torso, mouth open slightly. 

   "Found your shirt, I see," Klaus deadpans. Duncan nods absently, gaze wandering over Klaus's chest and stomach, and swallows. "Can I help you with something?"

   "You're pretty as a magnolia in May," Duncan murmurs, finally meeting Klaus's eyes. "Gee."

   Klaus feels his face warm without his permission, and he busies himself with folding his pajamas and tugging his duffel bag out from under the bed. A moment later, he hears clangs through the screen of his window, so he figures Duncan must be messing with the lawnmower again. He doesn't look over, though, not with the way even the tips of his ears are still burning. Instead he carefully packs his duffel and tugs on his shirt.

   "I'm not lookin', in case you're wonderin'," Duncan calls, and Klaus makes a noise of affirmation. He takes this opportunity to discard his pajama pants and tug on his green ones. "Sorry about that, by the way. Didn't mean to stare."

   "I don't mind," Klaus says, wandering back over to his window. Duncan is squatting by the lawnmower, but he doesn't seem interested in it anymore. "Really, I don't." Klaus strikes an overexaggerated pose, making Duncan laugh, and after a moment Klaus is laughing, too. It's infectious, and he needs it after what his mother told him.

   It's nice, he thinks.

   Duncan's apartment is very... him. It's not all Duncan's, of course, but Klaus can see him in little bits throughout the apartment: a pair of jeans thrown over a chair that Duncan quickly snatches up, a set of three stuffed animals in shadow boxes on the bookshelf, a little handmade sign on a bedroom door that says No Girls Allowed in messy handwriting. Klaus hangs back as Duncan slips into one of the doors.

   There's a series of photos of the triplets as children with two people Klaus can only assume are their parents. They're even more identical than they are now, since they all sport the same haircut and matching outfits. Their parents look kind, affectionate, loving. They look like the kind of parents that would encourage their child to become a writer. 

   There's a set of photos of the whole family in one of the famous bluebonnet fields, a picture that Klaus remembers taking as a child, too. There's candids of the triplets with wide smiles, holding up pieces of crayon artwork or macaroni necklaces, and Klaus's heart aches for the experiences he never had. There's pictures of just the parents, and black-and-white photos of people that must be older relatives. There's photos from the Austin Aquarium, from the zoo, from the beach. There's a picture of one of the triplets with their hand against a pane of glass and a gorilla on the other side, hand pressed against the other side of the glass. There's a picture from Moody Gardens, in Galveston. 

   There are no pictures of the triplets as teenagers. The photos abruptly stop after a candid of the triplets gathered around a cake with two number candles on top: 13. Then, they pick back up again, with a picture of Duncan leaning against Maria's driver's side door, looking to the side. He looks only a little younger than he does now, so he's maybe eighteen or nineteen. There's a picture of Isadora in her Walmart uniform, and one with Quigley, Hector, and another woman in what must be Las Cocinas's kitchen. The parents don't appear in any of these later photos.

   Duncan appears next to Klaus's shoulder. "That's me," he says, pointing to the picture with the gorilla. Klaus hums absently, staring at a framed article proclaiming Duncan valedictorian of their high school. It contains quotes from his siblings and teachers, but not his parents, who must have been proud. "What're you thinkin' about?"

   "Where are your parents?"

   "Hmm?"

   "They're in all these photos," he says, gesturing to the photos of the triplets as young children, "but then... and this is clearly your childhood home, considering the sign on the door and the toys I saw on the bookshelf out there." 

   "...They died in a car crash when I was thirteen."

   Klaus's heart sinks.

   "My best friend at the time convinced me 'n' my siblings to sneak out to go to a bonfire in one'a the fields. When they went to check on us in our rooms and saw we weren't there, they freaked out and started drivin' around lookin' for us." Duncan sniffles. "A drunk driver goin' ninety in a forty-five hit 'em when they were headin' through an intersection. He'd ran a red light."

   "Oh, God," Klaus breathes, and Duncan takes a shuddering breath.

   "They were five minutes away," he says, "and they was lookin' for us, and if we'd just said no..."

   Klaus holds his arms open for a hug, and Duncan almost falls into them. He tucks his head into the junction between Klaus's neck and shoulder and sobs; Klaus tangles a hand in his hair (secretly elated that it's as soft as he imagined) and holds him tight in a strange mirror of earlier. 

   "Quigley dropped out to work at Hector's 'cause it was the only place that'd offer a thirteen-year-old a job. Izzy started workin' at Walmart the moment she could. They wouldn't let me drop out 'cause I was valedictorian an' I was supposed to go to college and get us all outta here. Then the colleges cancelled all my scholarships 'cause some girl spread a rumor I got her pregnant... and now we're stuck."

   Klaus cards his hand through Duncan's hair and rubs circles into his shoulder. 

   "I was gonna be a big-shot," Duncan murmurs into Klaus's shirt. "We were gonna live in a mansion an' I was gonna date Taylor Swift an' then we were gonna be set. Now we're stuck in the apartment we grew up in an' I'm failing as the oldest an'-- an'----"

   "Shh," Klaus says. "I've got you."

   Duncan just makes a pathetic little sobbing noise and tightens his grip on Klaus's shoulders. 

   Klaus is gentle, so gentle, and he holds Duncan like he's a glass ornament in danger of falling apart. Duncan is crying fully now, so he's holding Klaus like he's about to fall off a cliff, and Klaus feels a few sympathetic tears drip down his cheeks. 

   They stay like that for a while, until Duncan takes one of those deep, shuddering, I'm done crying now breaths. Klaus releases him from his arms, but keeps his hands steadied on Duncan's shoulders. 

   "Thank you," Duncan mumbles.

   "I'm sorry I brought it up," Klaus says, but Duncan just shakes his head. 

   "I needed that. You want pizza? Isadora'll be home soon."

   "...Sure, pizza sounds good." Duncan sniffles. "Where should I...?" 

   "Oh. Mine's the one in the middle." Klaus looks down the hall and finds the center door staring at him. "Go on. Get. I'll order you a cheese."

   "Thanks." Duncan wanders off to the kitchen and Klaus stands for a moment, finding himself face to face with a baby picture of all three triplets. Did they know? Could they know? He chooses to believe they don't, and they're happy with their parents forever. 

   Duncan's bedroom is small but cozy. His bed has dark green sheets on it and a soft green blanket -- it's clear what his favorite color is. Klaus sets his duffel at the end of the bed and tugs his shoes off. There's a bookshelf next to the window, and on it is a good-sized collection, all of which Klaus recognizes. The rest of the walls are sparse, but there are a couple of shadowboxes with butterflies pinned inside. Beside Duncan's bed is a small collection of Polaroids pinned to a corkboard on the wall, and Klaus wanders over to see which ones they are.

   He sucks in a breath when he realizes every single one is a picture of him. There's one with all four of them, and a couple of him with Isadora, but the vast majority are pictures of just him, smiling, laughing, making a joking kissy face at the camera. There are only ten or so, but still, the sentiment is obvious: Duncan keeps a collection of pictures of Klaus beside his bed. With them is a picture of the triplets with their parents, which makes sense, but Klaus's mind can't wrap itself around the idea that Duncan wants to keep pictures of him beside his head. 

   "'Kay," Duncan says, making Klaus jump, "pizza'll be here in, like, half an hour. Oh--- sorry, did I scare you?"

   "Just startled." Klaus moves away from the pictures and towards one of Duncan's butterflies. "I didn't know you liked..."

   "Oh-- those were a gift from my nana. I'm not a big bug nut or anythin'. They would be in the livin' room, but Quigley's paranoid they'll attract lizards." Duncan runs one finger down the frame of one of them, a big blue one. "Do you like them?"

   "Yeah," Klaus says, "they're pretty."

   Duncan beams, and Klaus feels a smile coming onto his own face. Duncan is unguarded here, so the fondness in every line of his face must be genuine, and that's when Duncan steps forward and lays a gentle hand on Klaus's cheek. He isn't sure who leans forward first, but...

   The kiss comes to him in pieces. First, Duncan's hand tangled in his hair, holding him there against Duncan's lips, then the hand on his waist, then the feeling of Duncan's face beneath Klaus's hand, and then the lips themselves. They're soft, and Duncan kisses like Klaus is going to disappear, and it's so breathtaking that Klaus literally can't breathe for a moment after they part. He doesn't open his eyes at first, worried if he does he'll only find his bedroom ceiling, but then Duncan's thumb teases at his bottom lip and Klaus lets his eyes flutter open.

   "Wow," he says, pressing a kiss to the pad of Duncan's thumb. 

   "Yeah," Duncan breathes, eyes focused on Klaus's mouth. Then, he seems to realize something, and his hand pulls away, and immediately it's at least five degrees colder in the room. "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinkin', I--- Oh, God, you must hate me."

   "I enjoyed it, actually," Klaus says, tilting his head to the side and smiling. "You're a great kisser." He kicks himself mentally for not being able to come up with better words for it, but Duncan smiles gently anyway.

   "Really?"

   "Really." With that, Klaus cups Duncan's cheek and pulls him in for another kiss -- and another -- and another -- until they've somehow migrated to the edge of Duncan's bed and Duncan's hands are roaming over Klaus's chest, stomach, back, neck, head -- everywhere he can reach easily. Duncan kisses like he's drowning and Klaus is his air, and Klaus can't say he doesn't kiss back with as much passion. It's everything he's wanted and more, and they kiss and kiss and kiss until the front door slams closed and Duncan jumps back. His hands leave their resting place on Klaus's shoulders, but Klaus can't bring himself to mind. He's sure if he were a cartoon character, he'd have hearts for eyes plus little hearts floating in the air around him. 

   Isadora's voice pulls him back to reality. "Duncan?" she calls, and Duncan takes a moment to straighten his hair and his shirt where Klaus pulled it astray and heads out into the main area, shooting Klaus a smile filled with equal parts apology and fondness. Klaus returns it with what must be illegal amounts of lovesickness. 

   Klaus sighs happily and falls into a sitting position on the edge of Duncan's bed, running a hand through his hair. It's perfect, of course it is, but one moment he's going over the events of the day in his head and the next he's realizing that his mother and Carmelita have the underlying expectation that he won't form any attachments to this place, and kissing Duncan forms one hell of an attachment. As much as he can't fathom being in a loveless marriage, he can't drag Duncan into this. Not after all he's been through. He can't.

   He makes up his mind then and there. He's had his fun, and now it's time to remember his duty. His expectation. Damn the fact that it's just his parents trying to control him, it's a plan that he's expected to stick to, and nowhere in that plan does it say he's allowed to be gay and kiss a boy. His mother will come down on Duncan with all the force she can, and Klaus can't let the triplets get crushed under the weight of his mistake. They already have so little, they've already lost so much.

   "You thinkin' real hard over there," Duncan says, and Klaus looks up to find him leaning against the doorframe. "Penny for your thoughts."

   Klaus shakes his head.

   "What, did I taste bad?"

   Another shake. "You were wonderful," Klaus says, smiling. "...Perhaps a bit too wonderful." It's not a lie, but he figures if he can make Duncan think he isn't ready to go further than kissing, maybe he'll let them take a little break from the act. 

   As desired, Duncan turns bright red and looks away. It's deceitful, maybe, but it's what will keep Duncan safe. That's more important than anything.

   He won't let Duncan lose anything else.

   He can't.

Chapter Text

   So far, Klaus's plan of "avoid Duncan until they both lose feelings" seems to be working. It's been over a week, and a few days in Duncan stopped texting asking if he was okay (there are seventeen unread messages and six missed calls from Duncan on his phone, and he's taken to avoiding the phone, too, because the sight of the notifications on the screen makes his heart ache), and they've stopped having conversations at the farm. He's avoided going out with the other two triplets, too, because he realized over dinner with the three of them that night at the apartment that they were loose ends, too, and they've stopped calling.

   It feels terrible.

   There hasn't been a day since that Klaus hasn't cried in the evenings. He pours the frustration and the hurt and the guilt into his manuscript, and it's turning from innocent magical adventure/love story into deep hurt/comfort territory. He's beyond tired of the feeling in the center of his chest, but he has a sticky note beside his bed reminding him what this is all for. He can't let Duncan lose something else -- his home, his job, Klaus himself. 

   Monty appears in his doorway while Klaus is tapping away at his manuscript. 

   "You're going with Duncan to pick up food from Hector's," he says, and Klaus makes a noise in the back of his throat. "No, I don't wanna hear it. Somethin's happened with you two and Duncan's not workin'. I need you two to work it out 'fore I gotta take Poseidon to the vet for hoof care."

   Klaus lays back in his bed and groans. 

   "Go on now, get." Monty leaves, shutting the door behind him, and Klaus contemplates the merits of sneaking out his window and living off the land. Finally, though, he manages to pull himself out of bed and tug on some clothes and a pair of shoes at random, not bothering to see what they are, until he gets to his door, looks in the mirror, and realizes he's wearing a shirt Duncan gave him. It has his old high school's mascot on it and everything. 

   He can't bring himself to be anything other than comforted by the sight of the shirt.

   Duncan's waiting in the living room when Klaus steps out of his bedroom. Those big green eyes go wide when he sees the shirt, but Klaus just walks straight out the door and towards Maria's passenger door. Duncan's footsteps crunch through the gravel and to the driver's side door wordlessly.

   It's not until they're turning onto the road that Duncan clears his throat.

   "Somethin's wrong," he says quietly, "an' I get that, I do. But I can tell this cold shoulder you're givin' me is hurtin' you, too."

   Klaus doesn't say anything.

   "Isadora and Quigley told me you stopped answering their calls," Duncan tries. "I don't understand why you'd stop talking to them if it's me you have the problem with."

   Klaus turns to look at him then, but stays silent.

   "Is it not the kiss?" Duncan asks, stealing glances at Klaus. "Did somethin' happen with your parents?"

   "You could say that," Klaus says.

   "Well---"

   "I can't let you lose anything else."

   "What?"

   Klaus sighs. His head is rolling and his chest aches, and he wishes he'd brought his sticky note because all he wants to do is tangle himself in Duncan until he can't tell where Duncan begins and Klaus ends. "I can't--- if my parents find out I want to stay here because of you, you'll have to deal with a lot more than lost scholarships."

   "Like what, my job?" Klaus nods. Duncan sighs tersely, but doesn't say anything until he has Maria straightened out in the unofficial parking spot. Neither moves to get out. "Klaus, I..."

   "It wasn't the kiss. I'd do anything to have you like that. I can't."

   "Yes, you can," Duncan says, taking Klaus's hand and intertwining their fingers. Klaus knows he should pull away, but the warmth and the texture of Duncan's hand is so familiar that he can't stop himself from leaning into it. "God, Klaus, you can have me however you want."

   "I can't," Klaus repeats, and he can't even feel embarrassed at the way his voice cracks and his vision goes misty. "You're too precious," he finds himself admitting.

   "And you're precious to me, darlin'. God, I--- would it make you feel better if I told you I don't care what those hoity-toity parents of yours think? I'll tell you anythin'. I-I want you so bad I feel it in my bones when I so much as hear your name, your footsteps, see that tractor go by. You're everythin'," Duncan says, and then his hands are on Klaus's face and they're kissing they're kissing and it's so familiar and so perfect that Klaus lets himself indulge for a moment. Duncan kisses him once, twice, three times on the mouth before he moves to Klaus's nose, his cheek, his jaw. 

   "We can't," Klaus says after the moment he allowed himself is up, pushing Duncan's face away. "I--I can't lose you."

   "An' you won't," Duncan replies, and his voice holds so much confidence and sincerity that Klaus can almost believe him. "I ain't goin' nowhere."

   "I am. I'm going off to college at the end of the summer and then law school, and then Carmelita and I are getting married, and then----" Tears streak down his cheeks, but Duncan just brushes them away with his thumb. "Besides, I'll make a terrible boyfriend. I'm too high-mantinence."

   Duncan just looks at him with those big, beautiful, deep green eyes that hold so much, so much fondness, and kisses a tear away.

   "Really," Klaus continues, "I-I'm spoiled. Cheap dates don't impress me."

   "Seemed to impress you plenty when I took you for dinner and a movie." Duncan smiles as Klaus sniffles and takes a deep breath. "Listen, I ain't good with words, so this might be a little clunky, but... even if I only get you 'till the end of the summer, that'll be good enough for me. Just the idea of bein' with you, kissin' you, even if it's only for another couple months -- that sounds like heaven on Earth."

   Klaus sniffles again.

   "Datin' sombody ain't always forever. This don't have to interfere with those... fuckin', goddamn plans your control freak of a momma got for you." Duncan cups Klaus's face between his hands, guiding him to meet his gaze, and Klaus melts at the sight of those eyes filled with so much affection -- and it's all for him. "Please, just for a while."

   "Okay."

   Duncan smiles tentatively.

   "Duncan Quagmire, we are officially dating." Duncan beams as he leans forward to press one, two, three -- too many to count -- kisses all over Klaus's face, ending with one long, slow, sweet kiss right on his mouth. Duncan tastes like his voice sounds and feels like sunshine, warm and sweet. He's so gentle, like he's afraid Klaus will fall apart in his hands, but it's just as breathtaking as the last time. 

   A knock comes to the window, and they jump apart to see Hector, holding a plastic bag up to the window, one eyebrow raised.

   Duncan rolls down the window with a sheepish smile on his face. Hector hands him the bag and looks between the two of them, muttering something to Duncan, who blushes and rolls up the window. Hector makes his way back into the restaurant and Duncan mumbles something under his breath and touches his lips before handing the bag to Klaus.

   "Hold that?"

   Klaus nods, setting the bag in his lap and laying his left hand on the center console. Duncan takes it wordlessly, tangling their fingers together, and backs Maria out onto the road. 

   They sit in blissful silence for a moment until Duncan says, "You think this is why Monty wanted us to both to get the food?"

   "Yeah. He told me he wanted us to work out whatever was bothering us so you'd get back to work." Duncan laughs that sweet, private laugh, and Klaus finds himself wondering why he didn't just get on with this. Why'd he spend so much time worrying about the future when he could be here, holding Duncan's hand and listening to his gorgeously smooth drawl tell a story about the last girl he dated and how she'd egged Monty's house because he wanted Duncan to work?

   He knows it isn't forever, but maybe this is his little patch of heaven. This is what he'll hold onto when he and Carmelita are unhappily married in a big house, when he's sitting in his big-shot lawyer office, when he's watching his children grow up. This is his. Duncan is his choice, and Klaus will choose him for as long as he can.

   The first thing he does when he gets back to the house is pull the sticky note down and rip it into the smallest pieces he can manage. The second thing he does is tug Duncan into the house because it's starting to rain, dear, I can't leave you out there -- besides, there's food in here for you. 

   They end the night on a phone call. It's late, objectively, but even though they have to whisper, it's perfect, because Klaus can almost fool himself into thinking Duncan is right next to him. The future may be daunting and looming over them, but for now, he's nineteen laying flat on his back, listening to the rain and talking about books and dates with his boyfriend, and in that moment, he believes that everything will be okay.

Chapter Text

   The following Wednesday morning, Duncan tugs Klaus into the barn where Monty can't see and greets him with a gentle kiss. It's become a habit: Klaus will scarf down his breakfast so he's already outside when Maria rumbles up the driveway, and Duncan will jump out and meet him in the barn, where they're safe, and they'll share a kiss (or two, or twenty) before they have to get to work. It's become something Klaus looks forward to when he goes to bed at night, something that makes him want to be here, because Duncan kisses slow and sweet like chocolate and Klaus always wants more.

   This day is different, because Duncan is buzzing with excitement. He's smiling so wide that they almost can't kiss properly, but it's okay because of the news. 

   "I'm takin' you on a date after work today. A real one."

   "Yeah?" Klaus says, cupping Duncan's cheek in his hand and relishing the way Duncan leans into his touch. "I can't wait." Duncan smiles impossibly wide, and Klaus presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. "Where are we going?"

   "Mmm. Movie." Duncan pulls him close and tucks his nose by Klaus's ear. "Are you wearin' cologne?"

   "No, but I showered with new soap last night." Duncan hums absently, sending a gentle shiver through Klaus's body. "Come on. If we don't start soon, Uncle Monty's going to come look for us."

   Duncan sighs, stepping back. "Sometimes I wanna say fuck it an' just let him find us."

   "You know why I can't let you." Duncan nods, taking off his hat and running his hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry, I am, but..."

   "No, I get it." Duncan smiles fondly. "Really, I do. Maybe later it'll bother me, but--" Duncan takes Klaus's hips into those warm, callused hands and pulls him forward into a kiss. "I don't mind so much." Klaus allows himself a moment's indulgence before he places his hands on Duncan's chest (God, that chest) and presses. "A'right. Be ready."

   Duncan refuses to tell him what movie they're going to see, claiming it's a surprise. Klaus makes him promise it's not Brokeback Mountain again, and he does, but he keeps stealing mischevious little lances at Klaus the whole way to Southside and all through dinner.

   "Okay," Klaus finally says, laughing a bit. "You keep looking at me strangely. What's going on?"

   Duncan's eyes go wide and innocent as if to say who, me?, and he swallows his mouthful of brisket. 

   "Duncan. Are we going to see Brokeback Mountain again, yes or no?"

   "Fuck no. I'm just... I guess I'm worried you won't like it."

   "Well, you keep looking at me like you're hiding something from me, and I can't help but think we're going to see two cowboys fuck on a mountain again." Duncan laughs. "Don't laugh! You were the one that complained the whole way home." The word just slips out, and after a moment he realizes what he said. Duncan didn't seem to notice, but Klaus does, and he changes the subject to avoid thinking about it. "Why are you worried I won't like it?"

   "It's a kiddie movie," Duncan says sheepishly, "but it's one'a my favorites."

   "Would it make you feel better if I promise to try and like it?" Duncan nods. "I, Klaus Louis Baudelaire---"

   "Louis?"

   "---solemnly---...yes. Louis. That's my middle name." Duncan tilts his head to the side and smiles fondly. "Fuck off, it's better than Marshall."

   Duncan squawks indignantly. "Excuse you, that was my father's name. Do not diss Pappy Quagmire."

   "I will do as I please as long as you call him Pappy Quagmire." Duncan narrows his eyes. "I respect the fact that his name was Marshall, because if anyone could pull that name off it's him, but I cannot take him seriously when you call him that. Anyways, solemnly swear I will try my best to like your movie." He puts his hand over his heart for a moment, then jokingly salutes. 

   "Pappy Quagmire's gonna find you in your sleep," Duncan says, but there's no venom in it. "You gon' wake up tonight and there'll be a ghost in chains all Christmas Carol style and he'll be moanin' Youuuu dissed Paaappy Quaaagmire, nooow youuu must paaay the priiiice!" Duncan wiggles his fingers spookily for effect.

   "Is that, like, genuinely what you called him?"

   "Naw, I called him Pa, or Papa. He's probably rollin' over in his grave at the thought'a bein' called Pappy."

   Klaus smiles. He can't believe he ever thought Duncan was anything less than adorable, especially when he's talking animatedly about a time he, his father, and Quigley went into the store to buy a bottle of medicine for Isadora and came out with six new action figures, a tank of propane, groceries for the week, and no medicine. The way Duncan tells it, Marshall Quagmire was a kind man who loved his children with everything he had, who was as good a father as he could be while working two jobs to support his family, who believed life was too short to not have a little treat at every opportunity. 

   "Do you think he would've liked me?" Klaus says quietly when Duncan hits a lull point in his description of his father. "You know. If he'd met me."

   "As a person or as his son's boyfriend?"

   "Either." Duncan's eyebrows meet in the middle. "I think either way, he would'a been happy you're here. Though, if he knew we were datin', he'd probably pull you in the other room and threaten harm on you if you ever broke my heart." Duncan smiles. "You just got Isadora an' Quigley to worry about. Izzy brought home a boyfriend once before they died and he nearly shit his pants thinkin' about what would happen if he hurt her."

   Klaus chuckles. 

   "But Pa loved books, too. I think he would'a liked you once he got to know you. Just like me." 

   "Can you believe I thought you were annoying when we first met?" Duncan raises his eyebrows and lets out a little incredulous laugh. "Well -- first I thought you were handsome. Then you opened your mouth."

   Duncan lays his hand over his heart and winces. "Is this your way of tellin' me to quit runnin' my mouth so much?"

   "Mmm. I bet your lips get tired. Maybe you could rest them on mine." Klaus bats his eyelashes and watches Duncan turn bright red, ducking his head and taking another bite of his food to distract himself. "How was that?"

   "Hmm?"

   "I'm asking how I did." Klaus feels his face warm. "I don't have a lot of practice, you know."

   "At-- flirting?"

   "Yeah." God, he doesn't even know why he asked. Duncan is looking at him like he's mildly insane, and it's getting to him. "I-I don't even know why I asked."

   "'S okay. You did good. Caught me off guard, is all."

   Klaus nods absently and hums around his mouthful of turkey. He knows he's shutting down, but he can't bring himself to be anything other than anxious for some reason, and it might have something to do with the fact that his next check-in with his mother is tomorrow. He's been planning all week to tell her that he met someone, but he doesn't know the best way to do it and come out at the same time. Worse, Duncan took the day off to go celebrate Hector's sister's birthday down at Las Cocinas, and Monty's headed over to Elgin to go to the gun range over there. 

   "Hey. Talk to me." When Klaus looks up, Duncan's adopted a fond, concerned look, and Klaus sighs. "We can go home, it's not like I booked the tickets in advance or anythin'."

   "No, it's not that. My next check in with my mom is tomorrow, and I've been planning to tell her I met someone -- you -- but... I never actually came out to her, so I have to do that, too, and I'm just..."

   "I can cancel on Jackie if you want," Duncan says. "I don't actually know her that well. I'll just send Quigley with the plates as well as his cupcakes. It won't kill 'im... probably." Klaus smiles but shakes his head.

   "I need to do this. And Quigley will kill you if you don't go to that party. I'll figure it out."

   "My phone stays on. You call if you need anythin'." Duncan takes Klaus's free hand between both of his. "You promise me you'll call if somethin' goes wrong."

   "I promise."

   "What movie are we even here to see?"

   "You can't laugh." Klaus narrows his eyes and starts to study the NOW PLAYING sign above the front doors. The night breeze is warm, and Duncan's hand is soft, and they're walking into the theater hand-in-hand for the first time. Klaus hopes to God it isn't the last. "Promise me you won't laugh."

   "I won't laugh." None of the movies sound like kids' films, but neither Brokeback Mountain or Ten Things I Hate About You had been listed on the sign, so maybe it's a situation like that again.

   "It's not up there, genius."

   "I'm gathering that."

   Duncan takes a deep breath and tugs the door to the theater open. The place is buzzing with activity even on a Wednesday night, and there's a distressingly large number of families with young children despite there being no movies on the board for children. It's also --Klaus takes a glance at his phone-- almost eight PM. Sure, they probably don't have school, but they shouldn't be out this late! 

   "Two for the eight-fifteen of Meet the Robinsons," Duncan tells the lady at the counter. 

   "Wait--- Duncan, you didn't--"

   "What's wrong?"

   "That's my favorite movie," Klaus hisses, smile threatening to overtake his face completely. Tension seems to bleed out of Duncan's shoulders, and he smiles, too, as he wraps his arm around Klaus's waist. 

   "And a large thing of popcorn, and-- root beer, right?" Klaus nods. "Two root beers."

   The lady gives them the most deadpanned look of I know what you are and busies herself with making their food. They step to the side to allow the family behind them to come forward, and the mother hisses something derogatory at their backs, but Klaus can't bring himself to care. 

   "Duncan, I can't believe you thought I would laugh at you taking me to the greatest movie of all time," Klaus says, taking their popcorn and drowning it in fake butter. Duncan shakes the white cheddar powder over his half and sighs. "Sweetheart," he tries. Duncan ducks his head so most of it is obscured by the brim of his hat. "Hey. Talk to me."

   Duncan sighs again and leans over to press a kiss to Klaus's cheek. "I guess I was worried for nothin', hmm?" he says, smiling a bit. Klaus mirrors him, nudging Duncans shoulder with his own. "You'll never fail to surprise me."

   "Mmm. Let's go now so we get good seats." Duncan's smile widens.

   They wind their way through crowds of children laughing and yelling. Klaus has to take the tub of popcorn after Duncan almost steps on a little kid running about because he couldn't see, and the mom yells at him. Luckily, the catnip hat still works on older women, so he tips his hat and gives her a kilowatt smile, and she leaves them alone. 

   They pick seats as close to the center as they can. They're not the first people in the theater, but it's sparse so far, and they put a buffer of one seat between them and the overexcited child beside them. The dad with him looks exhausted. Klaus can see himself in that poor father's eyes, exhausted beyond belief and deeply unsatisfied with his life. 

   He shakes his head to clear it. Maybe one day he'll be stuck there one day, but for now, he's nineteen and sitting in a movie theater next to his boyfriend, about to watch his favorite movie of all time. He needs to start living in the present, because if he starts to beome depressed about things that aren't completely set in stone, his relationship with Duncan is going to suffer. Duncan is incredible beyond belief. He can indulge himself now in someone so sweet, so kind, so gentle. Duncan nudges him and takes his hand.

   "Talk to me?"

   "It's nothing important," Klaus says, tangling his fingers with Duncan's. 

   "You're makin' your thinkin' face," Duncan says, poking Klaus's cheek with his free hand. "You silly. What's happenin' in that big, beautiful brain of yours?"

   "The movie's starting," Klaus says, mostly because he doesn't want to think about much other than this moment for a while. 

   "I had a great time tonight," Klaus says, squeezing Duncan's hand on the center console. Duncan steals a fond glance over at him and starts to rub circles into Klaus's hand with his thumb. 

   "I know you're worried about your thing tomorrow. I can be there if you want-- maybe not in there with you, but... I could be in the house. In case you need me."

   "I need to do this by myself," Klaus says. "If I'm always leaning on someone else, I'll never learn to make my own choices." Duncan sighs.

   "One problem. I'm here for you to lean on. That's... that's part of my job as your partner. If you don't want to, I understand... I just thought maybe havin' someone familiar 'n' kind there would help."

   "I'll call you when I'm done and you can come over. How's that?" 

   "Genuine question?"

   "Yes." He admits, it makes sense Duncan is asking. He is a bit frustrated at the moment, but not at Duncan, and it's seeping into his voice.

   "Okay. You just let me know, firefly." Klaus's heart stutters.

   "...Firefly?"

   "...Yeah," Duncan replies. "Y'know, light in the darkness an' all that. Plus, they're pretty. Just like you."

   Klaus feels his face warm. Duncan steals another glance and smiles when he spots the blush, murmuring something that sounds like beautiful. 

   "Hmm?"

   "I said you're beautiful," Duncan says. "My beautiful firefly." If that isn't the sweetest thing to drip from Duncan's honey-coated tongue, Klaus is a lizard. Duncan squeezes Klaus's hand lovingly.

   "Moth," Klaus murmurs. Duncan smiles. "If I'm a firefly, you're a moth."

   "That I am," Duncan says quietly. "That I am."

Chapter Text

   Klaus takes a deep, deep breath and opens his computer. He's sitting in the yard this time, under the big live oak, because it's actually halfway decent outside. He has his notebook beside him, because after he's done here he's going to work on his manuscript. He's grateful for the relative silence, because it gives him a moment to review what he's planning to say. 

    I'm gay, Mom. I've met someone here, and I don't want to come home . That last part is a realization he'd come to the night before, laying flat on his back, having thrown the blankets off of himself after he'd woken up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. He'd texted Duncan about it at a ripe 3:32 AM, and despite the time, Duncan had responded -- though his answers were a bit less than coherent. 

   His computer chimes with the notification, and Klaus takes another deep, deep breath. His phone is right beside him. He can call Duncan at any time and he'll come. Duncan will come. As it stands, he's only a few minutes down the road. Klaus could probably walk from here. 

   He opens the call with another deep breath. 

   "Hi, sweetheart-- oh! You're somewhere new."

   "I'm outside. It's actually nice today, so I thought I'd sit outside for a bit." Deep breath. Now's his chance. "Mom, I---"

   "Is there someone there?" his mother says, cutting him off. 

   "Oh--- no. Why, is-is there, like, movement or something?"

   "No, no. I'm just wondering." His mother smiles. Now's his chance.

   "Mom, I---" He swallows heavily--- "I met someone." His mother's eyes go as wide as dinner plates. "I-I know what you're thinking, and--"

   "Oh, darling, that's wonderful," his mother cooes. He sighs a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh, what's her name?"

    Her. Klaus can't breathe for a moment, and he just blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "Isadora." Fuck . So much for coming out. "Her-her name's Isadora."

   "Oh. Tell me about her, darling."

   "Wh-- aren't you upset?" His mother tilts her head to the side. "You know, since I'm supposed to marry Carmelita, and all..."

   "I never said you had to only be with her," she says. "I think it's nice, actually. You can do all your experimenting before you settle down." She smiles sweetly, and it almost makes him nauseous. "Tell me about her."

   "She has... brown hair." He picks up his phone, intending to send a picture to his mother, and quickly realizes he doesn't have any of just them. "And-and these beautiful green eyes." Maybe if he can gush about things that Isadora and Duncan share, his mother won't notice. "And she's got the most beautiful voice, that sounds like honey, and... she's really sweet." His mother smiles.

   "Your father and I have been discussing visiting you for the Fourth of July," she says, in a totally subtle change of subject. Maybe it's not, though, because she follows it with, "Perhaps we could meet her then."

   "Yeah, I-I'll talk to her about that," he says. Fuck. Duncan isn't here to provide him with a convenient excuse to leave, so he kind of sits there for a moment before his mother starts prattling on about something Carmelita said the other day, and Klaus has a fleeting thought as he starts to tune her out that maybe his mother should marry Carmelita if they get along so well. Klaus picks up his phone and very surreptitiously types out a text to Duncan that reads Please come over.

   Duncan replies with a thumbs-up emoji and Klaus breathes what he hopes is an unnoticable sigh of relief. His mother is still going, now telling a story that Carmelita told her about a cat she saw on the sidewalk. How on Earth his mother cn think Carmelita is anything but a stuck-up, boring little brat is beyond him. 

   Luckily, it's only a moment before he hears Maria's engine rumbling in the distance.

   "Oh, who's that?"

   "Um..." Klaus says, pretending he couldn't tell the difference between Maria's and Shelby's engines from a mile away. "I think it might be Duncan." Sure enough, Maria swoops around into her usual spot by the barn like a big, maroon superhero. "Oh, yeah, it's Duncan. Listen, I should go."

   "If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to meet him before you two go gallivanting off somewhere." Duncan takes off his hat as he jogs over, gravel crunching beneath his boots.

   "Um. Let me talk to him." He sets his computer where it is and stands, almost falling into Duncan's arms with how shaky he is. "My mom wants to meet you," he whispers. "I don't know why, don't ask." Duncan nods.

   Klaus hesitantly walks back over to his laptop, lifts it up, and walks back over to Duncan, who sports a soft, reassuring smile. "Uh, Mom, this is Duncan." With that, he hands the laptop to Duncan, who take it gracefully and gives Klaus's mother a kilowatt smile.

   "Hello, ma'am," he says, and Klaus wanders around Duncan's back to gauge his mom's reactions. "I've heard a lot of lovely things about you."

   "Oh, I've heard plenty about you, too," his mother says. "You're always hard at work when I call, what's different about today?"

   "My brother works downtown at a restaurant, and it's one'a the cooks' birthday today. Her name's Jackie, real sweet woman. I was celebratin' with them." Klaus's mother nods. "It's been very nice to meet you, ma'am, but Monty actually sent me back 'cause somethin's been leakin' in the backyard, so if you don't mind I need to steal your son from you to help me." It's the perfect excuse. 

   "Oh! Oh, yes, go. I'll talk to Monty about making plans for Fourth of July. I suppose I'll see you soon. It's been very nice to meet you, Duncan."

   "Bye now, ma'am." Duncan shuts the computer without any more ceremony. "Whoo. She smothers you, don't she."

   "Yeah," Klaus says. He takes the laptop and wanders over to set it on the table on the porch. Duncan follows him at a short distance, but he steps right up close when Klaus stays by the table. "Duncan, I..."

   "Klaus. Firefly. It's gonna be okay."

   "It feels like as soon as I have something nice, she has to remind me it can't last. She told me she's happy I'm dating someone so I can get all my experimenting out of the way before I settle down ." Duncan runs a hand through Klaus's hair. "I don't want you to just be an experiment," Klaus finds himself admitting. "I don't want to go home."

   Duncan doesn't say anything. He just holds Klaus as he starts to cry.

   After a moment, Duncan pulls back a fraction to pick up Klaus's computer and usher him inside. "It's gettin' hot. Wouldn't want you gettin' burned." The air conditioning is a welcome relief, and Klaus stands absently in the living room while Duncan closes the door and heads into Klaus's room to set his laptop down. "My firefly," Duncan says, leaning in the entrance to Klaus's hallway. 

   "My moth," Klaus replies quietly. 

   Duncan steps forward and presses a gentle kiss to Klaus's temple. It's soft enough that it's not more than a brush of lips against skin, but Klaus leans into him anyway. "My darlin'. She won't be here for two more weeks, love. We've got two weeks 'till she comes crashin' down on you, and I'll hold you right 'till the moment she pull in that driveway if that's what you need."

   "Thank you," Klaus murmurs. "Thank you, Duncan."

   "I got you, angel" is all Duncan says before he wraps him in his arms. 

   They stay like that for a while, until they get hungry; then, they migrate to the kitchen and Klaus cooks as best he can with Duncan hanging off of him. They decide to bake cookies, but they end up with more batter on each other's faces than on the cookie sheet and they're laughing, they're laughing , and it feels so good to laugh. It feels better to lick the batter off of Duncan's face as he giggles, face red, and to feel Duncan's mouth kissing the extra from the corners of his own. 

   It feels good to be with Duncan in a way Klaus has never felt for anyone before. It feels good to have his big, callused hands on him, it feels good to kiss him in the kitchen, it feels good to eat something Duncan made with his hands. It feels almost domestic, like he can pretend this is his house and they're making something together just for the hell of it. It feels like he can kiss Duncan forever. 

   Duncan calls him love and darlin' and firefly and an array of other sweet names, and they roll off his honey tongue like water on a tin roof. Duncan kisses like Klaus is something precious, and it's exactly what he needed. Every movement that Duncan makes takes Klaus's mind further away from Carmelita and his mother.

   It's incredible.

Chapter Text

   Two days later marks Saturday. Klaus's phone chimes and he looks over from where he's been typing away peacefully to find a notification from Duncan on his phone.

   Got plans? I...

   Well. This sounds interesting. He opens his messages.

   Got plans? I found a disco ball at the thrift store today, thought you and I could test it out.

   Oh? Tell me more.

   His phone immediately lights up with a call from Duncan. He picks up after the first ring.

   "Hey," Klaus says. 

   "It's a--" There's music in the background-- "It plays music. I assume you know what a disco ball looks like."

   "Mirrored. Hangs from the ceiling. Shiny."

   "Mmm. This one sits on a stand, but you got the general idea." The music swells in the background, and finally Klaus can make out words and a melody. "Also, apparently, it plays Billy Joel and only Billy Joel. It's makin' its way through Piano Man at the moment, but it's been goin' for a while now. Quigley thinks he can make it Bluetooth so he can connect his phone to it..."

   "Is it shiny?" 

   "Very," Duncan says, sounding somewhat weary. "Q--- you can't-- no, stop squishin' it."

   Klaus laughs.

   "He's-- he's squashin' my disco ball-- I'mma find a lizard and stick it in your room if you don't stop fuckin' with my disco ball! ... No, fuck it, we'll deal wit' the Billy Joel, but--" Duncan laughs. "You make that ball lose one more mirror piece and I swear on Momma's grave, I--..."

   "There's some fun geckos out here," Klaus says conversationally. "I saw one the other night, munching on a bug."

   A voice says something incoherent in the background -- probably Quigley, complaining about something. 

   "Hang on, I'm puttin' 'im on speaker." There's a rustle of something on Duncan's end, and then Klaus's ear is filled with the dulcet tones of Piano Man by Billy Joel. "A'right, say that again."

   "That again," Quigley says, and then, "OW."

   "You dipshit," Duncan says. "Say that thing about the lizard again, Klaus."

   "That thing about the lizard again," Klaus says, and Duncan sighs heavily.

   "I could kiss you, Klaus," Quigley says, and Klaus has to bite back a remark about how he already kisses Duncan. Duncan makes an exasperated noise. "Oh, come hither darling, I simply must indulge myself."

   "Mmm. I bet you taste like rainbows."

   "Okay, that's enough of that," Duncan says, and then Quigley makes a series of distressed noises that get quieter after a second. "Klaus--"

   "I'm just messing with you," Klaus says, putting Duncan on speakerphone, dropping his phone on the edge of his bed, and climbing out. "Don't worry."

   "I wasn't. HEY-- quit squashin' my disco ball, you fuck!"

   Quigley blows a raspberry. 

   "Hang on, Klaus. I need to send my brother to 'is grave." 

   Something crashes in the background as Klaus tugs on a shirt. He hopes it wasn't the disco ball, since Duncan seems attached to the thing. 

   "Izzy!"

   "What the fuck--- Duncan, quit--- what the fuck y'all been up to?"

   "Hi, Isadora," Klaus calls. He figures Duncan probably turned the volume up to hear over the blaring Billy Joel.

   "Oh, hey, baby," Isadora says. "Mwah. What have these hooligans been up to?"

   "They're trying to fix the disco ball so it stops playing Billy Joel." Klaus picks out a pair of black embroidered Converse. "You know them, they fought about it."

   "Mmm. Quit! Sorry, Duncan's got Quigley in a headlock."

   "Here, take me off speaker and let me talk to Duncan." Isadora apparently complies, because the next thing he hears is Duncan's sweet voice significantly louder than anything else. "Am I on speaker?"

   "No."

   "Listen, love, it's not serious enough to put Q in a headlock for."

   "I paid nine ninety-nine for that thing, I'mma get my money's worth." Duncan sighs. "Hang on a second. I'll be in my room." Klaus finishes tucking in his overshirt and sits on his bed to wait patiently. "Okay. Sweetheart. I wanted to do somethin' nice."

   "I know you did," Klaus says reassuringly.

   "It's just that I was gonna kick the others out for a while 'cause I wanted some time with you. Alone." Duncan sighs again and the rustle of fabric pervades the silence. "You know I like to do nice things for you."

   "I know. And I appreciate them. I love that you paid nine ninety-nine for a disco ball that only play Billy Joel." He does. He finds himself smiling as he picks out a necklace and an earring for his conch piercing he got secretly when he turned eighteen. "I love that you and Quigley are trying to make it not play Billy Joel."

   "I wanted to play somethin' sweet," Duncan grumbles. "Damn thing. Damn brother."

   "I could call my sister," Klaus offers, picking up his phone. "She lives in Austin, and she's good with mechanical things. She got a scholarship to UT and everything."

   "Would you? If it ain't too much trouble for either of you." Klaus hums absently.

   "I'll call her from the car. I'm on my way over now." Duncan makes a pleased little noise. "She'll love you, don't worry."

   "I'll text you the gate code" is the last thing Duncan says before he hangs up. Klaus smiles, grabbing his wallet and keys and making his way out into the living room where Monty's watching something on his ancient little TV.

   "I'm going to hang out with the triplets," Klaus says, tugging the door open. Monty grunts in affirmation, and that's all the permission Klaus needs to head out into the sunny day. He opens his contacts app on the way over to his car, clicking on Violet's name and then her number.

   She picks up after the third ring, when Klaus has beeped his little Cooper open and is just getting it started up. "Hey, Klaus, what's up?"

   "Do you have plans tonight?" There's rustling on the other end of the line, a good sign that she's in her dorm room and not out with her friends.

   "No, just studying, why?" Klaus presses the speakerphone button and starts his car.

   "Want to meet my friends?"

   Violet makes a pleased squealing noise. "Ohhhh," she cooes, and Klaus rolls his eyes. "Oh, my baby brother has friends."

   "Don't sound so surprised!"

   "I feel like I'm witnessing a historic event," Violet says. "Text me the address, I'm getting dressed, I'll be there soon."

   "You fuck--" Klaus begins, but the dial tone makes him hit his steering wheel. He turns onto the main road before he does something stupid, and after just a moment he's turning onto Duncan's street and pulling up to the gate. His phone had chimed when he turned his car on, but he'd ignored it, and he checks the notification now to find Duncan sent him the gate code as promised. "4... 2... 5... 9... 7... 1." 

   The gate beeps loudly and rattles into motion. He pulls around to Duncan's building to find a spot mercifully empty next to Maria. He parks and jumps out to find Isadora descending the stairs.

   "Hey, I," he says, and she greets him with a kiss on the cheek. "I hope you don't mind, I invited my sister to help the boys resolve their spat."

   She gasps. "You have a sister?"

   He nods. "A year older. She lives in the dorms at UT and she's a whizz with mechanics. I'm hoping she'll fix Duncan's disco ball. Her name's Violet."

   "Oh, I'm sure she's darling," Isadora says, starting to lead him up to the apartment. "Here, give me your phone, I'll text her our address." He pulls his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it without another word.

   Duncan opens the door when they reach it, smiling. Isadora is still pecking away at his phone, so Klaus lingers while she walks absently into the living room. 

   "Hey."

   "How are you?" Duncan asks, pulling Klaus into a hug. It's a normal enough display of affection among the triplets, so Klaus leans into it, relishing the way Duncan shifts them so they're hidden and kisses his cheek. "Missed you."

   "You saw me, like, less than two hours ago."

   "And a tumultuous two hours they were, my firefly," Duncan murmurs, pressing another kiss to Klaus's face. "You call your sister?"

   "Yeah. Isadora's supposed to be texting her your address, but I think she's just laughing at my camera roll instead." Indeed, when Klaus pulls away from Duncan's arms, Isadora and Quigley are hunched over the coffee table, giggling away. "What are you two up to?"

   "This the girl you're always complaining about?" Quigley asks, holding up a picture of Carmelita in her favorite pink dress. Klaus remembers that forced date: she'd complained and demanded to speak to the manager several times at dinner, and she'd complained about Klaus's car, and she'd complained that he wasn't staying over with her. He nods at Quigley, who snorts. "Man, she even looks annoying. Puta."

   "I can smell her Bath and Body Works perfume from here," Isadora giggles. "Oh, my." She scrolls to the next picture. "Oh, she look like you!"

   It's a picture of Violet from when she visited over spring break. "That's Violet. Did you ever finish texting her the address?"

   "Oh, right. Here, sweetheart." Klaus takes his phone back and checks his messages to find a whole conversation between Isadora and Violet. At least they're getting along. According to her texts, she'll be at the apartment in about half an hour, so Klaus suggests they order pizza.

   "I could go for some za. Or, we could call Hector. He'll deliver for me," Quigley muses, examining his fingernails.

   "I didn't think Hector delivered," Klaus says, wandering into the kitchen to find a pamphlet for the pizza place.

   "He will if I call him and tell him he's a pussy if he doesn't." Duncan makes an indignant noise. "Or you could give me your sister's Venmo and I'll pay her to pick something up on her way."

   "I'm not giving you my sister's anything," Klaus says, clicking over to her contact. She picks up on the third ring. "Viiiiiioooolet."

   "Klaaaaaaus," she replies. There's road noise, so she's probably in her stupid little Subaru. "What's happening?" He clicks to put her on speaker.

   "The triplets want you to pick up food because there's, like, nothing here."

   "They're triplets? Klaus, it doesn't count if they're all siblings. That's like, one friend in three. You have one friend in three parts." Duncan makes another indignant noise. "Oh, fuck, am I on speaker?"

   "Yeah," Klaus says, feeling a shit-eating grin take over his face. "That's Duncan."

   "Hi," Violet calls. "Where am I going for dinner?"

   "Panda Express!" Quigley yells from clear across the room. Klaus isn't sure when he'd migrated there, but he's hunched over something -- probably the accursed disco ball.

   Duncan and Isadora nod, so Klaus relays this suggestion. "Okay," Violet says. "You're paying me back, bitch. Text me the order."

   Klaus sighs and hangs up. 

   "Oh, Klaus. We'll pay you back for our portion," Isadora offers, but he shakes his head. "Really?"

   "My parents are... generous with my allowance." 

   "And you've been lettin' me pay when we go out?" Duncan squawks, crossing his arms. "You had all this money and you been lettin' me whip out my wallet--"

   "You keep insisting!" Klaus says, typing out his usual Panda Express order. "What do you want to eat?"

   All three triplets begin talking at the same time, and Klaus just stands there until they're done. 

   "Okay, now, try again. One at a time." Duncan chuckles. "Don't laugh! I can't understand you when you're all talking at the same time."

   "Okay, Mama," Isadora jokes. "I'd like a bowl, with that honey chicken and fried rice. Please. Quigley?"

   "Mmmmbroccoli beef," Quigley calls, enamored with something in front of him. "Noodles." Klaus records this dutifully. 

   "The..." Duncan begins. "Oh, fuck, what'sitcalled. Uhhh... the. Uh. Shrimp?" Klaus raises his eyebrow. "Don't diss the shrimp, Klaus."

   "I just don't trust it, that's all." 

   "'N' noodles." Klaus nods as he sends the text off, rolling his eyes at the response he recieves. "Hey, come look at this cool thing I found. It's in my room."

   Klaus sees through the fib, but he doesn't blame Duncan for wanting him alone. He's been wanting those hands on him since he arrived. So, he follows Duncan down the hall and into his room, making what he hopes is a convincing gasp as Duncan closes the door.

   Immediately, they're pressed together, Duncan's face nuzzled into the spot behind Klaus's ear. Klaus tangles a hand in Ducnan's hair, and it's so sweet and so intimate that Klaus feels his mind go blank. He sighs happily.

   "My sweetheart," Klaus says, kissing Duncan's temple, cheekbone, beside his eye -- anywhere he can reach easily. "I want to tell Violet about us."

   "Mmm?"

   "Is that an I didn't hear you, or..."

   "Elaborate mmm." Klaus closes his eyes. 

   "I trust Violet with everything in me. She's the only person besides you and your siblings that knows I'm gay," he murmurs. "I want her to know how happy you make me."

   "Aww," Duncan says, pulling back so their gazes lock. "Aww, Klaus."

   "Mmm?"

   Duncan lays a wam, gentle hand on Klaus's cheek. Klaus could be content to live in this moment forever, with this ball of emotion sitting pleasantly in his chest, studying the way the light hits Duncan's eyes and turns them amber and green -- "Beautiful," he murmurs, loving the way Duncan's face dusts pink. 

   Unfortunately, a gentle knock comes to the door, and they have to separate. Isadora opens the door just a crack and sticks her head inside. 

   "Klaus's phone was ringin', so I picked it up an' gave Violet the gate code. She'll be up in a minute or two." Klaus nods. 

   Duncan follows his sister through the door, but he pauses in the doorway to look back at Klaus.

   "I need a moment to figure out what to say." Duncan smiles fondly as he leans against the frame. "No, you go meet her,"

   "I can do that in a minute. I wanna look at you," Duncan says, tilting his head to the side, eyes sparkling in the remnants of the sunlight drifting lazily through his window. It tints his face a sweet honey color and makes his hair appear to be spun from gold. He's beautiful, and Klaus loves him. Klaus loves him. It feels so completely, totally natural. 

   Violet's face appears in the space above Duncan's shoulder, complete with a shit-eating grin. 

   "Hey, silly," she says, startling poor Duncan.

   "Hi, whore." Klaus wanders over to the door and leans in close. "Can you keep a really big secret from everyone here and also Mom and Dad?"

   Violet just stares at him as if to say do you know me? 

   "Yeah, I wasn't thinking." With that, Klaus curls a hand around Duncan's neck and tugs him forward into a kiss. "Violet, this is my boyfriend, Duncan."

   "Aww." It's almost creepy, the way Violet and Duncan coo at the same time. Duncan presses a kiss to Klaus's hairline. "Oh, my tiny baby brother is growing up."

   "Shut uuuppp," Klaus groans, completely and totally aware of how petulant he sounds. 

   "Tiny, itty bitty, baby brother." Klaus bats at her face with the hand that isn't tangled in Duncan's hair. "Little small bother."

   "He's not a bother," Duncan says, pressing a kiss to the shell of Klaus's ear. "He's very sweet." Violet makes a series of noises usually reserved for babies before Klaus lands a nice blow right on her nose and she declares a truce.

   "Dinner's on the table. But-- Duncan, before you go out, can I talk to you for a moment?" Duncan nods, and Klaus extracts himself from the bedroom. Klaus doesn't look back before he gets to the table, too focused on the idea of shitty Chinese food to worry. Besides, Violet may still be mad about the time he bit her Barbie's head off when he was four, but she won't take it out on Duncan. 

   "Where'd she go?" Isadora asks, mouth full of rice.

   "She's in there, with Duncan. I don't think they're making out."

   "What'd Duncan want to show you?" Quigley asks, mouth equally full of noodles.

   "Lizard on his window," Klaus replies, and Quigley nearly chokes on his noodles. "It's on the outside, you numpty. Don't worry." Isadora swallows and snorts out a laugh. "Don't worry about paying me back, I can handle it."

   "Ooh, darling, you spoil me," Quigley says, right as Klaus takes his first bite. He coughs, which quickly turns into a mild choking fit. "Oh, fuck, I didn't mean to kill you. Stop dying."

   Klaus swallows once, twice, and finally he makes it. 

   "Fuck," Violet says, "and to think I was finally going to be rid of him." She cuffs him on the back of the head and slides into the empty seat. "Sorry, Duncan. Guess you'll have to sit on Klaus's lap."

   "And what a tragedy that is," Klaus says through his mouthful, scooting back to allow Duncan into his lap. Duncan goes willingly, for his part. 

   "A tragedy indeed," Duncan agrees, in that deep, honey toned voice. It's a bit awkward to eat with Duncan in his lap, considering how broad he is (his shoulders are so wide, and he's so strong -- he could probably lift Klaus easily. It's so much more attractive than it should be, especially considering the gentleness of his personality), but Klaus works around him. 

   It's so nice to have that sense of belonging again. He belongs here, with Duncan in his lap, surrounded by all the people that make him feel loved. Violet tells the triplets a series of embarrassing stories about their childhood, and the triplets answer with stories from their own, and it's so perfect. 

   "Klaus bit the head off my Barbie when he was four," Violet says. "He was mad that I took his favorite chair when we were watching a movie, so he--he came into my room and took it and just tore at the neck with his teeth 'till its head came off." Duncan laughs, a sweet, melodic sound, and Klaus can feel the vibrations where his chest is pressed into Duncan's back (that back). 

   "Violet ripped one of my encyclopedias apart because I got one more cookie than her at the family Christmas party." Violet scoffs in indignation.

   "I was also mad Mom made me wear that itchy velvet dress and you got a silk suit. You were six, you didn't need a silk suit."

   "I don't remember the suit," Klaus says, picking at the dredges of his rice.

   "Exactly."

   "Duncan once ate a moth 'cause I told him they tasted like chicken," Isadora says conversationally. "And then two weeks later Quigley had to get his stomach pumped 'cause he ate so many coins his shit was copper."

   "I ate coins as a kid," Klaus says. "I'd put them in my mouth to polish them. And they tasted good."

   "The pennies tasted best," Quigley agrees. "Mmm, metal."

   "Okay, Jackie Kennedy." It's remarks like that that make Duncan funny. It's times like last Thursday that make Duncan sweet. He's so many things, and all of them wonderful, that Klaus can't help but place a gentle kiss to the back of his neck while their siblings are all distracted by Violet's description of Klaus's first time meeting Carmelita. 

   Carmelita. Even the thought of her name sends a chill down his spine. Then Duncan says something about the disco ball, and his attention is focused on the present again.

   Quigley retrieves the ball from where he'd squirreled it away in the corner to keep Duncan from getting at it, and Violet cracks her knuckles. She'd gone to school for engineering, and getting a scholarship to UT was no small feat, so Klaus had faith in her abilities. Duncan suggested they play a round of cards while she worked, and went to get his deck without waiting for an answer.

   "Okay. What do you want me to make this thing do again?" Violet asks, making the fatal mistake of flipping the thing on. We Didn't Start the Fire starts to blare from the shitty speakers, and the disco ball starts to turn on its axis, making the light from the ceiling fan refract all around the room. Then, it stops suddenly, as Violet flicks it off. "Fuck, that scared me."

   A pack of cards falls onto the table as Duncan worms his way into the lone armchair with Klaus. They end up in something resembling a comfortable position: Klaus sitting normally and Duncan sideways, with Duncan's legs slung over Klaus's lap. It's an easy way to be close without attracting the attention of Quigley and Isadora, who each take up about a third of the couch. Quigley picks up the cards and starts to shuffle.

   "What're we playin'?"

   "Bullshit," Duncan says, apparently trying to find a good spot for his hands. He tries laying them in his lap, then slinging one across Klaus's shoulder, then finally lands on laying them across the arm of the chair and leaning back on his elbows. Unfortunately, the angle of his arms makes his sleeves ride up, giving Klaus a beautiful view of the soft muscle of his arms. He forces himself to lay one hand across Duncan's thighs and props his cheek up on the arm of the chair with the other. 

   "I've never played," Klaus says as Quigley starts to deal.

   "We'll show you. Don't worry, it's easy." Isadora smiles at him as she reaches for her deck.

   "Here, you watch me for a round," Duncan says, shifting so Klaus can see his cards. It's a jumbled arrangement that Duncan starts to organize in numerical order, aces at the beginning, on the left, and kings at the end, on the right. "See, I'm gettin' 'em in order..."

   "I have eyes, Duncan." Duncan scoffs, and rightly so: Klaus's eyes are mostly focused on Duncan's arms and shoulders.

   "Eyes that don't work," Duncan says, reaching back to poke at Klaus's glasses. "Now pay attention, you blind fuck."

   Klaus makes a series of grumbling nonsense noises. Quigley shuffles through his deck a few times and pick out a couple cards. "Two twos," he declares. Isadora narrows her eyes and quietly murmurs bullshit, and all of a sudden the rules click in Klaus's mind. "Fuck you," Quigley hisses, taking the cards from the center and adding them to his deck.

   "So you... put cards down. And you lie about what cards they are," Klaus says. 

   "Sort of? You go in a circle and you put cards down in number order, and if you don't have any, you lie about it. Other people can call bullshit until the next person puts their card down, and if you lied, you have to take the deck, but if you didn't, they have to." Isadora lays a single card on the table, face down. "One three."

   "One four," Duncan says, pulling out a card that is definitely not a four. Klaus keeps his mouth shut until Quigley lays a card down on top.

   "So if you don't have one, you have to put something down anyway." Klaus rests his chin atop Duncan's head. "Makes sense." 

   They go around like that for a while. Quigley is a horrible liar, so eventually he amasses most of the deck. That's when they forfeit, because apparently it's not fun anymore. Then, they deal Klaus in, and Duncan shifts to the floor. The room feels colder, somehow, without Duncan close to him. 

   After a few trips around the circle, Violet holds the disco ball up in triumph. Klaus is trying to organize his cards in a way that makes more sense, and she slams the stand down on the table, disrupting the deck and Klaus's glass of tap water. "Someone hand me their phone," she demands. Klaus pulls his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, and she snatches it and starts to type away furiously.

   Duncan leans his head on the side of the armchair, having won their round a few turns ago. Quigley had insisted they continue to play for second place, but he's losing in a landslide. After a moment, the dulcet drums and sax solo of Careless Whisper emanate from the speakers, and Violet whoops. 

   "Bluetooth! Oh, I'm a genius." Quigley looks up from his deck with a sort of awed look in his eyes. Duncan snorts his way into a fit of laughter. Then, her phone chimes, and she rises quickly. "Hey, sick gig, but I have to go. Thanks for inviting me!"

   "Bye," Klaus deadpans, waiting for the door to slam before he lunges for his phone and quickly sets it so Careless Whisper won't appear on his Wrapped. "Fuck, that was close." He sighs and leans his head back against the chair. 

   "I think I'm gonna head to bed," Duncan says, standing and offering Klaus his hand. "Are you stayin' over?"

   "I can," Klaus says. 

   It's late, objectively, but Klaus is still awake. Duncan fell asleep a while ago, with his head pressed into Klaus's chest all sweet and trusting. He can't sleep, not with Duncan right here, with soft-ass hair him to run his fingers through and a sweet little half-snore to listen to.

   He falls asleep a moment later, curled into Duncan. It's the best sleep he's ever had.

   The next day, Klaus drives back to Monty's early in the morning. Duncan was supposed to be right behind him, but after they pass through town Maria disappears from his rear view mirror. It's understandable, to some degree -- maybe he's going to get coffee from the little shop on Main Street. Maybe he left something at home. 

   It's solved when Maria rumbles up a few minutes after Klaus finishes the breakfast Monty made.

   "Duncan," Klaus says, taking the bouquet of hydrangeas and baby's breath. "Oh, darling, this is beautiful."

   "You like it?"

   Instead of an answer, Klaus just tugs him forward into a kiss.

Chapter Text

   "Boys. Pile in." 

   Klaus looks over at Monty's silouhette in the barn entrance.

   "Huh?"

   "In the truck. We're going to Hector's." With that, Monty wanders off. Duncan and Klaus share a look -- but Klaus is hungry, so he shrugs and follows. Monty ushers him into Shelby's backseat, and Duncan slides in beside him after a moment. Klaus can't bring himself to be nervous when Duncan looks like that: all tanned skin and long, long legs and bright smiles. He catches himself staring and quickly turns away. He feels like a kid with a crush again, and he has to remind himself that Duncan is his. All his. 

   Duncan complains the whole ride over about the rusty tools he has to use to care for the horses, and he refuses to vacate Shelby's backseat until Monty promises him that he'll go to Tractor Supply in the morning. They sit in a vague mirror of Klaus's first time here, except that the emotion he feels pouring out of himself at Duncan is love, not half-assed contempt. Quigley brings them chips and salsa and turns on the television to Monty's favorite telenovela channel. Though, he doesn't seem as interested in it this time, instead studying the way Klaus and Duncan talk about nothing. 

   Finally, finally, Monty gets to the fucking point. "When I told you two to make up," he starts, "I meant be friends again, not shove your tongues down each other's throat." Duncan chokes on his chip as ice runs through Klaus's veins. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell your mother."

   "You can't," Klaus says. "She'll-- she thinks I have a girlfriend, I can't imagine what she'll do if she finds out if I lied." Monty nods. 

   "I'm sorry, you think we've shoved tongue in there?" Duncan says, staring very pointedly at Monty. They haven't frenched yet, but Klaus has certainly thought about it while laying in bed. "No, no. We are good Christian boys, Monty----"

   "Actually, I'm Jewish."

   "Okay, we are one good Christian boy and one good Jewish boy." Klaus laughs. "I don't-- I mean--"

   "I don't want to know the details," Monty says, holding up his hands in surrender. "Please don't tell me the details." Duncan leans back in his chair. "How long has it been going on?"

   "Since you told us to go make up." Klaus sighs. "You-you can't tell my family."

   "That's your job, kid," Monty says, taking his plate of enchiladas from Quigley's hands. Duncan accepts his plate of tacos, and Klaus sighs again as Quigley sets his plate of fajitas in front of him, which sends a cloud of steam across the table. After Quigley walks away, Duncan starts to dig through his tacos, searching for onions, and Klaus falls silent. It feels simutaneously like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders and like another, differently shaped weight was placed on them instead. All of his earlier affection for Duncan has been pushed to the side, replaced by a deep-seated anxiety. If something goes wrong, then everything's over. Everything that Klaus so desperately wants for himself is threatening to slip through his fingers. He eats monotonously, not really tasting anything.

   He avoids Monty's questions, leaving Duncan to answer them, and when he's done he excuses himself to the bathroom. There, he leans against the door and slides down until he's seated on the floor, not even caring about germs or anything similar. He's too caught up in being scared of Monty's newfound power over him. He knows he can't run away again, but some part of him is tempted to text Duncan and break up with him to keep them both safe. The rest of him knows that's a stupid idea, and Duncan would be shattered no matter how magnanimous his reasoning. Hurting Duncan is out of the question, so he needs another idea.

   A soft knock comes to the door. "Klaus?" It's Duncan. For some reason, that makes a tear drip down his cheek. He hadn't even noticed he was about to cry.

   "Yeah?"

   "You okay? You've been in there a while." Klaus sniffs and stands, opening the door gently. "Oh, shit. C'mere." Duncan tugs him into a bear hug, and Klaus tucks his head down besde Duncan's neck. "Sweetheart."

   "I'm scared," Klaus whispers. 

   "I got you. Monty won't dare tell your parents while I'm still kickin'. He knows I'd drive Maria through his wall." Klaus chuckles. "I know that don't make it better, but you gotta learn that there are people out there that won't hurt you even if they know we're in love. Well--- least, I'm in love with you." Klaus just tightens his grip on Duncan's waist. "I know that's a lot. You don't have to say it back. I can wait."

   "Some part of me thinks it would be better for us to just break up," Klaus admits. "I don't want to, not because of you--- nothing's wrong--- I'm the happiest I think I've ever been---"

   "I know. You think it'll keep the both of us safe from that helicopter of a momma you got, but it won't. Not really. It'll just make us both miserable." Duncan tangles a hand in Klaus's hair and starts to run his fingers through the curls there. "I love you."

   "I love you," Klaus replies, sniffling slightly. 

   "I love you," Duncan says again, a little more forcefully, like he doesn't believe that Klaus believes him. 

   Klaus kisses the shell of Duncan's ear, hoping Quigley's still in the kitchen. Duncan's skin is warm under his lips, and the way Duncan leans into the kiss is encouraging. It makes him believe, just a little, that maybe Duncan's blind optimism will win out in the end. At the very least, it encourages him to convince Duncan to sleep over at Monty's.

   "As long as I can shower. I think I'm a little greasy." Duncan runs a hand through his hair. "And-- you're comin' back to the apartment tomorrow. I wanna tell my siblings."

   "Okay."

   The next morning, Klaus wakes up with Duncan's head on his chest. He's snoring gently, not enough to be bothersome, but enough to be noticed. Duncan's hair is tousled and his chest is bare, but that's just how Duncan sleeps. He's so peaceful that Klaus is almost disappointed when Duncan groans and starts to stir.

   "Good morning, sleeping beauty."

   "Mgmmnh," Duncan replies, attempting to bury his face deeper into Klaus's chest. It doesn't work, of course, because Klaus is not a pillow, and certainly not one as soft as Duncan indulges in back home. For all the Quagmires lack in their lives, soft bedding is not one of them. Probably courtesy of Isadora's Walmart employee discount. Anyway, Duncan sluggishly realizes that Klaus's chest is not his pillow, probably due to the small groan that Klaus lets out at having his ribcage burrowed into, and lifts his head. "Mornin'."

   Klaus runs a hand through Duncan's mussed hair, which really only serves to mess it up more. Duncan smiles sleepily, a soft, vulnerable thing that makes Klaus's heart twist with affection. He's so beautiful, and he's all Klaus's, and it's the most wonderful thing in the world. Duncan scoots up so he's propped up over Klaus and they're face-to-face, and after a moment of gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, they're kissing they're kissing and Duncan tastes like sunshine (and morning breath, but Klaus chooses to ignore that).

   "How long you been up?" Duncan asks. His accent is thicker when he first wakes up alongside a deep, scratchy voice. It sends sparks through Klaus's body like fireworks.

   "Not long. I've just been staring at you." Klaus reaches up to brush his hand along the line of Duncan's cheekbone. "You're beautiful when you're sleepy."

   "Am I?"

   "Mmhmm." Duncan sighs and drops so his full weight is resting on Klaus. Klaus gives a little oof before he continues. "So we're coming out to your siblings today."

   "Mmm. Thought we'd order food 'n' tell 'em over dinner. There's this nice little Asian place in Bastrop Izzy likes." The feeling of Duncan's breath against Klaus's ear is certainly a new one, but not entirely unpleasant, especially when Duncan punctuates his sentence with a kiss to Klaus's ear. "Man, I see why people like to do this."

   "What?"

   "Sleep w'their partner. 'S cozy." Duncan wiggles a bit, accidentally elbowing Klaus in the ribcage, so the blanket covers their shoulders more. "Don' wanna get up."

   Klaus sighs. He has to pee. It's hard being stuck under your buff boyfriend. It's hard, and no one understands. 

   "Saw a mug at the thrift store the other day. Said 'Christ is coming. Are you swallowing?'" Klaus snorts. "Almost wish I bought it. Could've bothered my old lady neighbor with it." 

   "Huh?"

   "There's the old chick who lives next to us with her husband. Hardcore Christians -- Izzy passed their paprtment while they were movin' in -- no joke, six boxes full to the brim with crosses. Anyway. They hate it when I make fun of 'em for bein' silly about their beliefs, so I try to bother 'em about silly things." Ah, Klaus remembers. The Monroes. They'd given him the stink eye once when he'd wandered onto the triplets' balcony.

   "Aren't you Christian?" Duncan hums absently. "I mean, you don't go to church, but..."

   "Vaguely. 'S more cultural than anything. Both'a my parents went occasionally, but they never made us come."

   "Makes sense. I haven't been to temple in a while. It's not important to me." 

   Duncan sighs and rolls off of Klaus. "I need to piss but I don' wanna get up." Klaus rolls out of bed and starts to pad over to the door. "No, wait, where you goin'?"

   "Bathroom."

   "Oh."

   It only takes him a moment to actually use the bathroom, but he stands in front of the sink for a while, just staring at his reflection. Everything feels different now that Monty knows. He wields so much power over them. He could ruin Klaus's whole livelihood with one phone call, and it terrifies him beyond belief. Duncan doesn't deserve the danger Klaus is putting him in-- he shakes his head. He needs to start thinking about what Duncan actually needs, not what Klaus thinks he needs in this strange anxious fugue state he gets in when he thinks about the future. Duncan is a fully capable person who can communicate his needs clearly-- and he is! Klaus turns on the cold water and splashes a bit on his face. He needs to call Isadora eventually, too, and explain to her what he said.

   Duncan's laying peacefully on the bed, scrolling on his phone, when Klaus wanders back in. 

   "Hey, c'mere." Klaus dutifully moves back to the bed and sits down beside Duncan. Duncan holds his phone up to Klaus's forehead, tilts it so the camera points down Klaus's nose, and presses a button on the screen. 

   "I swear, if you just took a point-five picture of me--- who are you sending it to??" Duncan's cackling uncontrollably and typing furiously as Klaus tries to snatch the phone from his hands. "Give-me-that."

   "No-o," Duncan replies petulantly, moving his phone around so Klaus ends up grasping at empty air every time he tries to take the phone. "You look silly."

   Klaus sticks his tongue out. 

   "Isadora says 'Is this why you didn't come home last night' with four question marks. I'm gonna tell her we fucked sloppy style."

   "Wh-B-Why??" Did they? Klaus has all his clothes on, and he remembers putting this specific set of pajams on last night, and certainly doesn't remember having sex with Duncan -- but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. "Did we fuck?"

   "God, no." Duncan types for a moment, then pauses. "That sounded like I don't wanna fuck you. That's not what I meant."

   "No, I didn't figure. So we didn't... you know."

   "No, Klaus, we didn't recreate that scene from Brokeback Mountain in your bed last night." Duncan rolls his eyes fondly. "As for why-- because it's funny." It doesn't hurt to make sure. Not that he thinks Duncan would do anythng like that without his consent, but... sometimes people don't turn out to be who you think they are. "Quigley says 'Congrats on the dick, bro.' Ew."

   "What's ew?"

   "He called me bro," Duncan says, face scrunching in disgust. "'Thanks, tiny brother,'" he adds haltingly, typing as he speaks.

   "I'm going to text them and tell them you wouldn't fuck me until I let you lick my belly button." Duncan snorts, smiling and shaking his head fondly. Klaus reaches for his phone, which has been steadily chiming, and opens his messages. Isadora texted him privately a few times throughout the night, asking where Duncan was, but he goes straight for the group chat that he shares with the triplets. It's this one that's been slowly updating. Duncan is typing at the moment, and Quigley is speculating on the proportions of Klaus's dick while Isadora yells at him to stop.

   K: It's twelve inches balls to tip. It's not, but Duncan is right: it's fun to mess with them.

   Q: FUCK YEAH I KNEW IT WSA BIG

   Q: SUCK ON THAT I

   D: haha thats what i did last night

   I: (lesbian flag emoji)

   Q: gayasses

   K: You're the one speculating on the measurements of my penis. I could argue *you're* the gayass.

   D: actually quigleys a girlkisser

   I: lmao on the balcony and mrs. monroe is lookin @ me funny

   I: also look whos talking mr. haha i touched sally mcbride's boobs behind the bleachers after the homecoming game

  D: (shocked cat reaction image)

  Klaus looks up from his phone with a shit-eating grin. "Who's Sally McBride?"

   "High school girlfriend," Duncan grumbles. "She was the one that ruined my chance of goin' to college."

   K: Duncan lore?

   Q: didn't she freak out afterward and tell everyone you got her pregnant

   D: and now were stuck here 

   D: all cause i touched a boob

   K: It's not your fault she didn't know boobs aren't the seat of pregnancy.

   I: didn's she actually get pregnant later in the year??

   Q: i touched a bob once

  Q: boob

   K: So did I, you're not special.

   Duncan gasps. 

   "It was my junior year of high school," Klaus starts. "Carmelita put my hand on her boob. It wasn't anything special."

   D: was it a good boob???

   I: yes storytime

   K:  It was Carmelita's, so no. It was a weird shape?

   I: like something other than teardrop bc boobs are teardrop shaped not 3d circular

   K: The word you're looking for is spherical, and it was a weird, like, lumpy texture.

   Q: 3d circular

   I: was it bare boob

   K: She still had her bra on. I remember thinking the bra was a weird kind of fabric or something because it crinkled.

   I: she probably stuffec it to make u think her boobs were bigger than they actually were

   I: bareboob she mightve had cancer but bra on she prbably shoved like plastic bags in there or smth

   I: i always used tissues bc they wouldnt make noise

   D: cant believe the only nongirlkisser here touched a boob before us

   Q: 3d circular

   Q: anyway was the sex good

   K: Yes. One could argue it was... orgasmic.

   D: ASDFGHJKL

   I: lmfaoooo

   I: mrs. monroe is calling me slurs  brb im going inside

   Q: fuck i can hear her from over here

   Q: like almost non of those apply to us

   K: Quigley how long ago do you think I touched the boob?

   K: It was, like, three years ago.

   Q: how old is this hoe hang on

   K: She's a year younger than me, so eighteen now. I think she turnes nineteen in November sometime.

   I: ewwww she's a scorpio

   Q: vriska kinnie

   "Who's Vriska?"

   "Don't fucking ask Quigley that. She's a character from this comic he reads." Duncan seems to have a moment of realization. "Wait, we can just tell them now."

   "They already think we fucked and they seem cool with it." Klaus shrugs. "If you want to." He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Duncan's head.

   Q: so like

   Q: ducncan listen to me

   D: imagine misspelling my name

   Q: STFU

   Q: was klaus good dick or

   I: listen im a lesbian but id fuck klaus

   K: I am. Right here.

   I: and id fuck you youre all like sweet and shit

   I: youd fuck good i think

   K: Even if I wasn't massively and completely gay, you're like my sister.

   D: listen to me ou gayass hooligans

   Q: ou

   I: ou

   D: STUT THE FUCK UP

   K: He actually has something important to say.

   D: thanks. now.

   K: You're welcome snookums <3

   Q: (shocked cat reaction image)

   "I swear to God, if you ever call me snookums unironically again, I'm shitting in your left shoes."

   "Noted."

   Q: stut

   I: fucking finally ive been waiting for yall to get totgether for like a month now

   D: it'll be a omnth next saturday

   Q: omnth

   D: im going to eat your socks out the dryer at random

   I: wait yall kept this from us for almost a month??????

   K: I wasn't ready. I'm still really scared of my parents finding out. Monty knows, and I'm not sure when he found out, but it's terrifying.

   D: also im dropping the bit we didnt actually fuck last night

   K: Duncan's been so sweet though. He brought me flowers last Sunday <3

   D: (kermit surrounded by heart emojis)

   Q: yall tellin me yall lied about fuckin sloppy style smh im so disappointed in u

   K: I also liea babout my dick being twelve inches.

   Q: no no i figured that part but. yall didnt touch tips last night.

   D: you are. weirdly invested in that.

   Q: smh i was in the middle of ordering a ake from walmart that says congrats on the fuck on it i was gonna request that izzy make it

   Q: this is like the bruning nf the library of alexandria

   Q: izy was gonna have to make ur cake and now i have to CANCEL my ORDER

   Q: (crying tbh creature reaction image)

   I: i wont make that fucking cake no way

   K: I actually need to request Isadora's help with something. My parents are coming down for the Fourth of July and. Well.

   K: I haven't even told Duncan this.

   K: I may have fucked up royally and lied and said that Isadora is my girlfriend.

   "You what??" Klaus winces. "Klaus, why didn't you tell me?"

   "I guess it just got swept up in everything else."

   Duncan just stares at him, though Quigley and Isadora are still texting the group chat. It only makes Klaus feel more anxious about the situation, and he can feel himself starting to shut down as Duncan reaches up to brush the back of his hand along Klaus's jaw.

   "Firefly," Duncan says, "I---"

   "I know I should've said something, but I just feel so scared that---"

   "No, no, Klaus, listen for a moment. I get that you're scared'a your momma, but you shoud've said somethin'. I can help you, but you gotta tell me when things happen. Please."

   Klaus sighs.

   "No, don't shut down on me now."

   "Are you mad?"

   "God, no." Duncan brushes his hand along Klaus's jaw again. "No, I'm not mad. I just want you responding so you can help make a plan." Klaus smiles nervously as Duncan sits up properly and leans against the wall. "I'm not mad at you."

   "I know." He picks up his phone and types out a response to the multitude of questions appearing on the screen.

   K: It was a spur of the moment decision. Will you help, or do I have to find a random girl to pretend?

   D: could always put me in drag

   K: My mother thinks drag queens are of the devil. We're Jewish. 

   I: ill help!! dont worry she wont know the difference 

   K: We're not putting Duncan in drag. 

   "Aww."

   "Don't be too sad. You'll have to help Isadora pretend to be straight."

   I: no no not about the drag

   I: im getting dressed q and ill be there in like 10 mins and well make a plan then :)

Chapter Text

   Klaus knows it's the Fourth of July when all the road stands selling fireworks suddenly and mysteriously are staffed and open. He and Duncan pick one at random and purchase about three hundred dollars worth of high-grade explosives for about sixteen bucks, because the one they went to has a buy one get eleven free policy and nowhere did it say of equal or lesser value . Duncan is unduly excited and has hung Walmart-brand American flags from everywhere he can in his truck, which makes him look significantly more like a Republican than he actually is, which is to say that he isn't one and now he looks like one. He brought Klaus a t-shirt that reads GUNS AND FREEDOM AND SHIT which almost gets them kicked out of the Walmart when they go in to buy tablecloths and napkins for Monty's picnic table that they're going to pull out of the storage shed.

   "It's freedom ," Duncan says, and Isadora crosses her arms. "It says freedom right there."

   "It's my first amendment right, I," Klaus adds, even though he thinks the concept of America is stupid and he's only here to underage daydrink (and because Duncan is incredibly hot in his cutoff tank top). Speaking of Duncan, he's all dolled up for the occasion, and not in the way Klaus's parents are going to think is even remotely appropriate, because he's wearing assless chaps with the American flag printed on the back. "Listen, we just need tablecloths for Monty's. And besides, isn't your shift over in, like, fifteen minutes?"

   "Yeah," Isadora grumbles, wandering off to make sure a little kid doesn't shoplift a Captain America action figure. 

   Duncan picks out three tablecloths in red, white, and blue, because of course he does. The party aisle has been completely taken over, in true American fashion, by flags, napkins, tablecloth, cards, streamers, cups, plates, napkins, cutlery, centerpieces, and hanging items all in patriotic patterns, colors, or both. 

   "Duncan, love, there's only one table."

   "Monty invited the three of us, Hector, and Jackie yesterday afternoon. Said we ought'a make a proper party of it. I think he just bought too much alcohol and doesn't want to get shitfaced in front of your parents. Hector and Jackie're bringin' some tables 'n' chairs from Las Cocinas." Duncan picks two centerpieces off the rack and holds them up for Klaus to consider. "Let's see. Sparkly or flags?"

   "Sparkly. Do you--do you know me?" Duncan grins. "It's the gay. I must have sparkles." Duncan drops the sparkly silver centerpiece in the cart.

   Next comes napkins. Duncan picks four packs, because Monty's grilling and Hector's probably bringing fajitas, so they'll need them. "Anyway, I don't put it past your parents to bring that silly girl. I know they're comin', and Violet probably is, too, so... Monty said something about another little girl?"

   "My sister Sunny. I hope Carmelita doesn't come." Duncan picks red, white, and blue Solo cups from the shelf and drops them in the cart. "I'd hate for Isadora to have to yell at her, and I think Quigley would try to fight her."

   "I'd deck 'er," Duncan says, picking a set of plates printed with the American flag. Then, he grabs another pack after a moment of debate. "Go all WWE. Isadora's got a mean roundhouse, too, an' I bet we could get Jackie in on it. Tell me about Sunny."

   "She's a toddler now. Tiny, blonde, absolutely adorable. She bites."

   "Aww. Does she talk yet? Or walk?"

   "She walks, but I don't know about talk. She didn't when I left. Not coherent English, anyway." It's been almost two months since he left, he realizes. He hasn't even thought about it. "Either way, she's going to be one of the highlights of this party. I think Isadora'll kill me for not mentioning her sooner."

   "So that's a, what, eighteen year age gap?"

   "Seventeen. She turned three this year. The doctor says it's strange for her to not be talking yet but it's not unheard of. If she's not talking properly by four they're supposed to take her to a specialist." Duncan hums. "Ooh, get the streamers. We can make Quigley climb the ladder and hang them from the barn." Duncan picks out a roll each of red, white, and blue streamers. "That should be good. Monty has silverware."

   "Enough?"

   Klaus tallies up the guests on his fingers. Himself, Duncan, Monty, Isadora, Quigley, Hector, Jackie, Violet, Sunny (though it's likely she won't need silverware), both of his parents, and he should probably count Carmelita just to be safe. Twelve? He grabs a value pack of plasticware and throws it into the cart.

  "I'm not going up that fuckin' ladder."

   Something strange starts to rumble up the driveway, startling Blazer into action. When Klaus turns, he's startled to find his parents' Range Rover struggling to make its way up the gravel. Isadora tugs the screen door open, looking very sweet in a bluebonnet patterned dress, and Klaus ushers her over so he can wrap an arm around her waist. 

   "Hi, sweetheart," Isadora says, pressing a kiss on his cheek as his parent swing around beside the house and park. It's his father who appears first, which gives him some hope that Carmelita didn't come: he's never been fond of her, nor his wife's plan to make Klaus marry her, so the way his father descends from the Rover and immediately walks up to Klaus, arms outstretched, is a welcoming sign.

   "Hi, Dad," Klaus says, accepting his father's hug. Klaus has always been closer with his father, since he was usually the one that pushed back against his mother's insane plans, and it shows in the bear hug his father envelops him in. "Um, this is Isadora." He can feel Duncan's jealous gaze on his back, wishing it was him being introduced so casually, so affectionately, with Klaus's arm around his waist. Klaus wishes for that, too, and some part of him is waiting for the opportunity to say sike, I lied, Duncan and I kiss with tongue -- except they don't. Only in Klaus's mind have they done anything like that. He wants to -- desperately -- but Duncan has always been the one to make those kinds of advances.

  All of a sudden, he realizes his father has been talking and Isadora has been awkwardly answering his questions. At some point, Violet had wandered over, eyeing the hand on Isadora's waist suspiciously. 

   "Klaus, love," Isadora says, nudging him gently. "You spaced out on me."

   "Sorry. Um, I think Uncle Monty's around back," he replies, prompting his father to follow the ever-growing scent of barbeque around to the back of the house. Violet takes this opportunity to grab Klaus by the collar and tug him away from the main group. "Vi--"

   "Weren't you dating Duncan, like, a week ago?" she hisses, eyeing the way Isadora gravitates towards Sunny, who's being carried over by his mother. "Klaus, I thought I taught you better than this."

   "Duncan and I never broke up. Isadora and I aren't actually dating, I just panicked and told Mom I have a girlfriend instead of coming out properly. Duncan knows , Vi. I'm not being a dick." Klaus sighs. "I-I really love Duncan. I wouldn't do that to him."

   Violet puts her hands on her hips.

   "Oh, what now?"

   "Nothing. I'm just judging you." Klaus shakes his head and walks away to rejoin the main group -- or, rejoin Duncan and Quigley, who are deep in the throes of an argument about whether or not Quigley is going to hang the streamers.

   "Hey."

   "I do enough around this damn farm--- hey, Klaus." Duncan flashes him a megawatt smile, but it's softer and sweeter than the one he usually uses on people. "You okay? Violet's kinda death-glarin' you."

   "She thinks I'm doing something illicit with Isadora." Klaus sighs, wishing he could fall into Duncan's arms.

   "I'll talk to her later-- oh, hello, baby," Duncan says, having spotted Sunny toddling up to their feet. Klaus drops to a squat to meet her and pick her up, lifting her above his head for a moment before he holds her properly. "Oh, you're precious."

   "Klaus!" Sunny says, grabbing at his face with her little hands. Klaus smiles fondly, letting her grab handfuls of his cheeks with no resistance, until she tries to take his glasses and he has to put a stop to that. "Klaus," she giggles.

   "Sun-ny."

   Sunny just giggles more, especially as Duncan shifts so he's standing behind Klaus. 

   "This is my friend Duncan," he says, shifting her so she can see Duncan's face. 

   "Hi, precious," Duncan says, offering her one of his hands. She takes it and giggles a bit, pressing their palms together. Her hand is so small compared to Duncan -- Klaus has never found himself wanting a baby before now, but with Duncan, he thinks a family would be precious. Obviously, it's much too soon to be thinking about that properly, so he tucks it away for later and focuses on the way Duncan pinches Sunny's nose and pretends to snatch it from her face. Quigley's still grumbling about having to hang the streamers, but they look nice so far, and Klaus tells him so while Sunny tries to take Duncan's hat from his head.

   "I hope so. I'm not redoin' them. Goddamn things---"

   "Don't swear around Sunny, please," Klaus's mother says, appearing as if by magic at Klaus's shoulder. "Hello, Duncan," she adds warmly, and Duncan gives her a famous smile and tips his hat at her. 

   "Howdy, ma'am. Glad to see you had a safe drive down." Klaus can sense the barely-concealed contempt bubbling beneath Duncan's skin, but his mother preens and fixes her hair a bit. "I'm sorry about my brother, he's... sometimes he forgets some of the sandwiches for his picnic, if you catch my meanin'." Klaus snorts. 

   Klaus's mother just stares at him disapprovingly. Luckily, she can't for long, because Monty appears around the side of the house, trying his best to tug something from Blazer's mouth, and Klaus realizes it's one of the fireworks he'd bought with Duncan earlier. Klaus's father appears after a moment, but Monty loses his grip and Blazer starts to chew on the firework.

   "Blazer!" Duncan yells, and then he's off. Blazer barks as he tries to take the firework away, but the damage has been done by the time Duncan manages to tug it away. The outer covering is chewed to bits and it's spilling powder everywhere, and Klaus hopes Duncan isn't going to get in too deep shit for this. Duncan seems to hope that, too, judging by the way he just kind of stares at the empty firework shell in his hand and makes a distressed sort of laugh.

   "Um..." Klaus's mother says, just sort of awkwardly standing there as his father rushes over to make sure Duncan's okay. Klaus sets Sunny down and hurries over, too. 

   "Duncan---"

   "I'm okay... I think. I don't think Blazer ate any'a the powder," Duncan says to Monty, "but we should take 'im to the vet anyway. It can wait 'till tomorrow, I think, but not much longer." Monty nods absently.

   "I'm sorry, I wasn't watching the fireworks," Klaus's father says, but Duncan waves dismissively. 

   "No, it ain't your fault." Isadora wanders over, Queenie at her heels, and presses a kiss to the side of Klaus's face. "Hey, Klaus, help me look inside for somethin' to pick up all this powder?" Klaus nods, following Duncan inside.

   "I have a little handheld vacuum in my room," Klaus offers, and Duncan sighs and nods. "Duncan---"

   "Call me somethin' sweet, please," he says, strained, the moment he gets the door all the way closed. Klaus gestures towards his room, since the window blinds at the front and back of the house are wide open, and Klaus can see his whole family still outside; "Klaus---"

   "Come on. I can pull the blinds down," Klaus says, resisting the urge to give in to Duncan's pained expression where his whole family can see. Duncan begrudgingly follows him into his bedroom, and Klaus tugs the blinds down as promised, and no sooner has he spun to face Duncan again that Duncan's hands are on his face, tugging him into a kiss. Klaus returns it eagerly, tangling his fingers in Duncan's hair, accepting kiss after kiss until Duncan seems to have expelled everything from his system. "Hey," Klaus says quietly, running his hand over Duncan's cheek.

   "I know you don't feel nothin' for her, but it's hard to watch you parade around with her, you know?"

   "It's hard to pretend," Klaus replies. "Do you know how much I wish I could go back in time and erase what I said? But it scares me."

   "I know."

   "We'll go out tomorrow, yeah?" Duncan smiles. "Oh, you already have something planned, don't you? You minx."

   "I'll tell you about it later. Right now we should find that vacuum before Daisy or Queenie licks up the powder and we have a real problem on our hands." Duncan runs his thumb over Klaus's jaw, making no motions to move. "Firefly."

   "Moth. It's under my bed." Duncan sighs, but moves to retrieve the vacuum, while Klaus moves to his mirror to fix his hair. It isn't too terribly messed up, but still, it's better to be safe. He fusses over Duncan's for a moment, too, before Duncan kisses him gently and ushers him back out into the yard. 

   With Duncan occupied and his father and Monty grilling in the back, Klaus has very few choices: either he can help Quigley hang the streamers (out of the question, really) or head over to where Isadora, Violet, and his mother are giggling in the lawn chairs under the big post oak. He unfolds another lawn chair, sets it up right next to Isadora, and watches Sunny toddle around the yard, playing with Queenie, until his mother turns to him.

   "I was surprised Monty didn't extend an invitation to Carmelita," she says, tone just sweet enough to not be considered accusatory. 

   "...Maybe he figured you'd just bring her anyway."

   His mother folds her arms across her chest. "She tells me you've been ignoring her calls and texts."

   "I'm dating someone now, Mom. I don't really want to talk to her anyway. She's stuck-up and annoying and she doesn't even try to take an interest in the things I like. Isadora is willing to do at least that." Klaus mirrors her pose and raises an eyebrow. "Have you considered for maybe one moment that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who thinks literature is a waste of time ?"

   "Perhaps if you spent more time with her, she'd be more receptive of your interests. Besides, it's not polite to call your future wife stuck-up especially if she isn't ."

   "Perhaps you should marry her if you like her so much," Klaus says coldly. "Save me the trouble. Then you two could titter about the future without subjecting an unwilling participant to a loveless marriage and a life he'll hate." Isadora lays a gentle hand on his forearm, but it does nothing to quell the fire racing through his veins. "I mean, I've barely been here two months and I've already found someone who cares more about me than Carmelita could even fathom--- plus, he's handsome and hardworking, and he isn't trying to force me into a future I have no say in!" He's standing now, towering over his mother, who looks more offended than anything, which only makes him more upset.

   "Klaus..."

   "No. I need her to understand that she's hurting me."

    "...He?" his mother says, and ice replaces the fire in an instant. He had said he , hadn't he, as in reference to someone who is definitely not the girl sitting next to him. Fuck. "Klaus, you lied ?"

    Fuck . Looks like there's no going back now, so he leans into it. "Yes."

   "Why?"

   Actually, he doesn't really have a good answer for that. "I-I don't know."

   "Klaus, you..."

   "I've known I'm gay since I was thirteen, Mom." He takes a deep, shaky breath, bracing himself.

   "You can't possibly." There it is. "No. This is unacceptable."

   "Hey, lady," someone says--Quigley--Klaus's heart swells with affection for him. Brotherly, of course. Quigley spits at his mother's feet. "Maybe look past the end of your own nose for half a second and you'll see the shit that's right in front of you."

   Klaus's mother harrumphs and crosses her arms petulantly. 

   "Klaus lied because he's scared half to death of you," Isadora says. "His own mother."

   "Klaus has certain expectations that he's been aware of for years," his mother replies. "Carmelita is a responsibility of his. This changes nothing. I have half a mind to make you come home with us tonight."

   "Oh, come on, Beatrice. Let the boy live a little." Klaus's father has appeared from nowhere, smelling of mesquite smoke. Monty stands beside him, arms crossed, stony expression on his face. "He's nineteen. Let him be a teenager, since you certainly didn't let him when he was young. I dated a boy when I was in college-- not that I'm trying to trivialize this, Klaus-- because I was young and we were in love. Let him live."

   "I just want to have something I chose for once," Klaus says quietly.

   "Fine. You'll remain here for the rest of the summer. But after that, you're on a tight leash, young man. This boy is a summer fling, and nothing more." Klaus drops his head as his throat starts to burn. "Go. Go on, throw your tantrum. Just-- somewhere else, please."

   "Come on, Klaus," Quigley urges. "I need some help gettin' that table out of the shed."

   The rest of the party goes much like that. Klaus's mother has taken to avoiding everyone except Sunny while everyone else sort of awkwardly gives him their condolences. The triplets are the only ones that actually put some effort into it, with Quigley vehemently promising to send her back to her maker if she tries anything, Isadora pulling a face-paint set out of nowhere and doodling a beautiful set of fireworks on his cheek, and Duncan revealing the disco ball from Maria's passenger floorboard and putting on a playlist he made himself of songs that just make Klaus's mother harrumph more and retreat further towards the Range Rover. Klaus didn't know who Dallas Dixon was before now, but he certainly has a new appreciation for the art of being a gay cowboy. 

   It gets marginally better when Monty announces it's dark enough to light fireworks, and hands everyone a sparkler. Duncan lights his own and then, giggling, touches the tip of his sparkler to the tip of Klaus's. Klaus can't help but laugh with him, and for a moment he's happy and in love and nineteen, and he doesn't have anything else to worry about except not lighting himself or Duncan on fire when he leans in for a kiss. Monty pulls out the bigger fireworks and lights them one by one, sending a beautiful cascade of colors over the farm, and Klaus kisses Duncan with Tennessee whiskey on his tongue and not a care in his mind.

   They end the night in Maria's bed, watching as Monty sets off the last of the fireworks, hands intertwined deliciously. Sure, Carmelita looms heavily over them, but she's not important until September. Duncan is perfect, warm and strong and handsome, and Klaus leans on him and falls asleep against his shoulder. 

   If he wakes up mysteriously in his own bed spooned with a handsome boy, well. Perhaps it wasn't a pipe dream after all.

heres a google folder of all the pictures ive collected for my latest babygirl, egon spengler

Chapter Text

   All Klaus really wants to do on July 5th is stay in bed. He wakes up with a mild hangover and Duncan's nose pressed into the nape of his neck, breathing gently. Carefully, carefully, he rolls over so he and Duncan are face to face, and he kisses all over that handsome face until Duncan's nose scrunches up and those beautiful, beautiful green eyes flutter open.

   "Wha'--- ohh, fuck ." Duncan's hand up to press into his forehead as he closes his eyes again. " Oh, honey, why'd you let me drink so much last night?"

   "You had two," Klaus says, smoothing his hand over Duncan's forehead. "Love."

   Duncan grumbles something unintelligible. 

   "What was that?"

   Duncan sighs and lets Klaus caress his face gently. "Monty got a coffee maker somewhere in this bitch?"

   "I think there's a Keurig in the kitchen." Duncan sighs again, trailing off into a little whine at the end as Klaus hits an apparently sensitive spot right behind Duncan's ear. "Sorry," he says, moving his hand away from that spot, but Duncan grabs it and moves it back. "Mmm?"

   "That felt nice," Duncan mumbles. "Do that some more." Klaus kisses the little crease between Duncan's brows until it goes away and massages his fingers into that nice little spot until Duncan sighs and smiles. "Thanks. Near 'bout made my headache go 'way."

   "Glad I could be of service," Klaus says, kissing the bridge of his lover's nose. "Do you still want coffee?"

   "Not if you're gonna get up. Wanna stay here. Warm. Cozy." Duncan hums happily and wraps one arm around to press his hand into the small of Klaus's back. "'M snug as a bug in a rug."

   Klaus laughs quietly and rests his forehead against Duncan's, but Duncan is right: he doesn't want to move from his little bubble until absolutely necessary, and that might not be until the afternoon. Monty had significantly more to drink than either of them, so he won't be up until noon at the earliest. Duncan seems to sense the nonurgency in Klaus's movements and pulls him closer until they're pressed together in practically every place they can. Klaus loves him (Klaus loves him).

    "I love you," Klaus murmurs.

   "Love you," Duncan echoes. Klaus tucks his head against Duncan's, with his nose against Duncan's hairline, and closes his eyes. Sleep follows soon after that.

   When he wakes up a second time, Duncan is gone, but there are two steaming mugs of coffee on the bedside table and the shower is running. Klaus hauls himself out of bed, grabs a mug, and traipses across the hall, delighted to find Duncan didn't lock the door and he can just walk right in. He settles himself on the toilet, lid closed, and sips his coffee until Duncan shuts off the shower, sticks his head out, and screams.

   "What?"

   "Nothin', I just wasn't expecting you to be there." Duncan lays his hand over his heart. "Say somethin' next time, lovely."

    Next time . Klaus is staring at Duncan's bare chest as he reaches out of the shower for the towel hanging on the rack. He's beautiful , and Klaus feels his face go warm thinking about what that chest would feel like under his fingers. 

   "You like what you see, darlin'?" Duncan smirks as Klaus's blush deepens, and he nods. The towel hangs scandalously around Duncan's hips, revealing more of that soft browned skin, and Klaus has to set his mug on the counter to keep from spilling hot coffee all over himself. Duncan is unfairly attractive with wet hair, especially when he presses a quick kiss to Klaus's forehead before starting to examine himself in the mirror. "You know you don't have to just stare. I'm not a statue, I'm a person. You can touch." To punctuate, Duncan takes Klaus's chin in a big, warm hand. Klaus lets out a shuddering breath and bats his eyes. "Pretty thing."

   "You're one to talk," Klaus murmurs, standing and reaching out to run his hands down Duncan's chest. He's warm beneath Klaus's hands, with a smattering of soft hair over his torso that gets darker and coarser the further down Klaus goes. "You certainly look like a statue. I know the truth." 

   "Oh? And what's that, my firefly?"

   Klaus kisses him, warm and deep. "You're actually a statue that came to life by divine intervention."

   "Mmm. You've seen my baby pictures." Klaus kisses him again. "I eat, I drink, I sleep. I'm all human, baby. You, though, I'm not so sure about."

  "No?"

   Duncan shakes his head and presses a kiss to Klaus's jaw. Oh, that felt nice -- Klaus tangles his fingers in Duncan's hair and pushes him back onto his jaw when Duncan tries to pull back. He's nineteen, after all, and it's not like he's ever really had anyone to do something like this with -- is it wrong to want to find all the things that feel good with someone who loves him? Klaus doesn't think so.

   "No, I think you're some sort of angel," Duncan murmurs against his jaw, "sent down to Earth just for me."

   Klaus sighs happily. Duncan straightens back up, rubbing his neck for a moment, and takes a sip from Klaus's mug of coffee. Klaus smooths his hands over Duncan's chest again, and Duncan lays one of those callused hands on his cheek and tugs him forward into a kiss. It's moments like this that make Klaus feel alive, like he can't believe he wasn't doing this all along, and it's wonderful. Duncan is such a perfect person, and a good kisser to boot, and Klaus finds himself melting into the kiss. 

   "My perfect angel," Duncan mumbles when they break apart. "I have somethin' planned for us later."

   "Oh? Do tell." Duncan shakes his head. "No? Is it a surprise?"

   "Oh, you'll be surprised, all right. But you're gonna love it, trust me." It's impossible to do anything but trust him when Duncan smiles at him like that. "Food first, though."

   Duncan's surprise turns out to be late into the evening. As predicted, Monty lazes around most of the day, complaining of a headache and insisting they close the already-darkened blinds. Duncan and Klaus mostly talk books all day, with the exception of the short amount of time Duncan leaves the farm to head home (for clothes) and then to the pizza place in town (for lunch). Even then, he's only gone for half an hour at most, but Klaus misses the warmth of their shared body heat. Ironic, considering it's over a hundred degrees outside, and the heat seems to seep through the walls and cloy up Klaus's senses. 

   The cooler evening comes slowly, in pieces. Duncan tugs him outside when the sun goes all the way down and dusk falls, and instead of going into Bastrop like Klaus expects them to, Duncan fires up Maria's four-wheel drive and takes them deep into the fields that surround Monty's house. They pick honeysuckle on the way over, and the nectar tastes like heaven. The sky is rapidly darkening by the time they stop driving, and Duncan cuts the truck off and tells Klaus to hop in the bed. 

   "Sky's clear," Duncan comments, as he retrieves a pile of blankets and pillows from the backseat. He nails Klaus in the face with one of them, laughing playfully, and Klaus hits him with it when he manages to haul himself up into the bed. That starts a pillow fight, which ends when they're both laughing too hard to properly hit each other. Then, they take a few minutes to arrange the pillows and blankets in a comfortable manner, and by the time they fall back onto the pillows, the sky is completely dark, and the stars are twinkling above them. "Sweetheart," Duncan whispers.

   "Yeah?"

   Duncan wraps Klaus in his arms, leaning the sides of their heads together so they can be close and still stare up at the sky. 

   "I love you."

   "I love you, too," Klaus says. "What's your favorite constellation?"

   "Oh, goodness. Don't you think we're movin' a bit too fast?" Duncan laughs. "The Dippers."

   Klaus turns to stare at Duncan -- or rather, the side of Duncan's face. He's still beautiful. 

   "I just... their story moves me, you know? A momma and a baby. I think they deserved the world." Klaus hums absently. "I know someone else who deserves the world," he adds, turning his head so the ends of their noses are touching. 

   "You." Duncan blushes and turns back to the sky. "You do, Duncan. You deserve everything you want."

   "And if I just want you?" 

   It's Klaus's turn to blush, and he laughs a little as he looks back up at the sky.

   "Not a joke, Klaus. You're everything and more." Fabric rustles beside him as Duncan shift, and Klaus looks over to see Duncan laying on his side, facing Klaus. His eyes shine in the low light of the little camping lantern they brought, bright and affectionate. "I know it's selfish, but if I could keep you right here, all for myself, I would. I'd build you a house with my own two hands, and we could fill it with books, and I'd keep you happy for as long as I live. I love you ." His hand moves to rest on Klaus's cheek. "If I could only say one word for the rest of my life, I'd want it to be your name."

   Klaus kisses him, hoping he can pour everything he feels into it. Words have always been his strong suit, but he's at a loss for them here, so he tangles one hand in Duncan's hair and allows the other to trail down Duncan's torso until it can rest on his hip. Duncan makes a little noise and shifts one leg between Klaus's and oh , is this what Klaus has been waiting for. Duncan's mouth opens against his and then his tongue is running against the seam of Klaus's lips, and Klaus follows the unspoken direction and opens his mouth. 

   Duncan tastes like honeysuckle and root beer, which should be an uncomfortable taste but ends up being wonderful . Klaus allows Duncan to lead, and they kiss and kiss and kiss until they can't breathe. They're both breathing heavily when they break apart, and when Klaus shifts a bit to get more comfortable, he hits something with his thigh and Duncan gives a heady whine. Oh.

   "Shit," Klaus breathes. "Oh, shit, Duncan, I'm sorry."

   "No, no, ain't do nothin' wrong. Just caught me by surprise, that's all." He tries to lean in for another kiss, but Klaus presses a hand into his chest to stop him. "Baby?"

   "I'm not... I'm sorry. Kissing is fine, but..." While he can't deny the... effect that Duncan has had on him, he can't. This is too far, too fast, and he feels like that's a valid feeling to feel. 

   "Oh. Oh . I'm sorry." Duncan shifts off of him and lays back down. "I'm sorry."

   "No, I-I..." Klaus sighs. "The kissing was nice, I don't mean that. I loved that part. I just... the rest of it is too fast for me." Duncan nods. "Do you--you understand?"

   "Yeah. Makes sense." Duncan smiles fondly. "I'm not offended or nothin', neither. Don't worry, Klaus, I'm not gonna make you if you don't wanna."

   Klaus lets out a shaky sigh. 

   "We don't... I mean... do you ever ? I'd like to know at least that."

   "At some point, maybe," Klaus says, smiling nervously. The idea of being close to Duncan like that is a bit overwhelming right now. "Yeah, eventually, I would. But not tonight."

   "No, not tonight," Duncan agrees. "But sometime."

   "Sometime. I love you, moth."

   "I love you more, firefly."

   Then it's just them, the stars, and the incessant chirping cicadas. Klaus feels wholly and completely loved, wrapped in Duncan's arms, and he finds himself nodding off.

Chapter Text

   Klaus has been thinking for a week about July 5th. Mostly about the idea of taking Duncan on a date that he planned, but also about the content. He's sitting on his bed, clutching his lizard and picking away at his manuscript when the idea comes to him. 

   Klaus has been to Duncan's environment --hell, he's sitting in it now-- but has Duncan ever been to a big city? Immediately, he clicks out of his manuscript and opens two things: the messaging app that mirrors to his phone, and a tourism page for Dallas. But Dallas? Does he really want to get that close to his parents or Carmelita? No, he doesn't. He closes that and opens Austin's page-- but Duncan lives thirty minutes from Austin. He's probably been before, at least while his parents were alive. He closes that and opens Houston's page. He stares at it for a moment before he decides there's nothing he can rationalize about Duncan ever having been to Houston, and Klaus won't logically run into anyone he knows there. Yes. Perfect. He clicks over to his messaging app and drafts several versions of a text to Duncan before he lands on something simple.

    I have a surprise for you. Meet me at Hector's in 20?

   Duncan's reply comes swift and succinct. See you then <3

    Klaus's little Cooper protests as he pulls into a parking space in front of Las Cocinas. The collection of old men that sits out front every Saturday laughs at the sight of the little car as it rumbles over the rocks, but Klaus glares at them for a moment, and they turn back to their conversation about fishing lures. No sooner has Klaus made it up to the door than Maria rumbles in, gliding easily over the rocks like some sort of maroon, two-ton ice skater. She cuts off and Duncan jumps down from her cab, big smile on his face.

   "Oh, my darling," Duncan drawls, wrapping Klaus in a bear hug and kissing his cheek.

   "Hi," Klaus murmurs, accepting a series of kisses with a smile. "Let's--lovely, I'm hungry. Come on." 

   Quigley sits them at a table near a window since it's just the two of them. He wiggles his eyebrows at Duncan, and Klaus shooes him away after a moment because he has things to talk to Duncan about, damnit, go mess around with the old Monroes in the corner. 

   "So," Duncan says, slurping his bottle of Mexican Coke, "what's this surprise?" 

   "I've been thinking."

   "Don't hurt yourself." Klaus glares at him. "Sorry, love." 

   "You plan all these cute little dates. I want to take you somewhere." Duncan smiles fondly and leans back in his chair. "So... I've been planning a trip." 

   "To where?"

   "Houston. I've been looking at hotels and museums, and I think you'll enjoy it." Duncan looks hesitant. "No?"

   Duncan's silent while they're both distracted by Quigley delivering their food. Then, he's silent while he digs through his tacos, searching for onions, and he's silent while Klaus assembles his first fajita. 

   Finally, he says, "You want to go on a trip to Houston. With me." Klaus nods. "Oh. I didn't think you... hmm."

   "Is that... do you not like the idea?"

   "'S not that. I'm just... I've never really been away from here, you know? I went to College Station once, to look at A&M, but... this is just where I've been the rest of the time." Duncan pokes at his rice absently. "I'm not sayin' I don't want to. This is a really sweet offer. It's a great idea." 

   "But..."

   "But I'm hesitant because it's new. Nothin' else." He gives Klaus a small smile. "But I trust you."

   Klaus feels his face warm, and he distracts himself by taking a bite of his food. 

   "You really think I'll enjoy those fancy museums?"

   "Sure. There's something there for practically anything. I'm sure we could find something you'll enjoy." Klaus smiles. "I was looking at the Natural History museums's website, and there's going to be a special exhibit on Old West photography -- you know, like, cowboys." Duncan perks up at that, and though his mouth is full of food, he hums happily. "I thought so."

   Duncan swallows heavily and grins. "Show me some'a those websites."

   They decide to leave on Wednesday and make it a four-day ordeal. Monty looks at them disapprovingly when they bring it up, but he agrees, and they start to make an itinerary, which Duncan gets sort of carried away with because he keeps finding things he wants to explore. Eventually, Klaus talks him down to two: the Natural Science museum and a fine art museum. That one makes Duncan slightly nervous, but Klaus assures him that museums are for everyone, and he doesn't have to be a fancy (Duncan calls it hoity-toity in a terrible British accent; apparently deep South and English accents don't mesh well) upper-class individual to attend one. They're doing this on Klaus's parents' dime, with his father's permission.

   "I'm happy that you're happy," his father had said. "If Duncan is the person you choose to love, then I love you for that." He'd smiled fondly at Klaus, pixelated as it was over their video call. "Tell him thank you from me, for making my son the happiest he's been in a long time. And that it was a pleasure to meet him last week even if my wife thought otherwise."

   It's true, in a lot of ways. Klaus is a lot happier in the few weeks he's been with Duncan than most of the time he can remember. He's always been what people describe as an "old soul," which mostly means he's quiet and observant where most children are loud and brash. He's never really felt young, but Duncan makes him feel alive and carefree, like he's supposed to at nineteen. Duncan holds him like he's something precious, and it makes him feel wanted. 

   Duncan packs light. He shows up at Monty's with a duffel bag and nothing else, where Klaus had packed his middlest suitcase and his duffel, plus a tote bag with the crochet project he's been practicing (a granny square cardigan), a couple of books for their down time, and new yarn. "That's all?" Klaus asks as Duncan hauls his bags into Maria's bed and closes the cover. "You did pack for three days, right? And three nights? Everything you need?"

   "Yup. Clothes, pajamas, toothbrush and toothpaste, underwear--" He winks, and Klaus blushes-- "socks, phone charger. You know. The essentials. Speaking of-- we need to stop by the apartment. Isadora says she has a present for us." 

   "No soap? Are you not planning to shower?" Klaus wrinkles his nose.

   "They got those little bottles at the hotel, don't they?"

   "Sure," Klaus says, climbing up into Maria's cracking passenger seat, "but those are only meant for a use or two at most. They're not... well, I suppose we're not going to be there for very long. If you run out you can use mine." Duncan smiles. "What do you think Isadora has for us?"

   "Probably a hot pink dildo or somethin' like that. She's been real cagey about it. What's that?" Klaus has pulled out his crochet as they start to drive away, content to stitch away as Duncan drives. 

   "Crochet."

   Duncan snorts. "Naw, I thought you were sewin'. What is it gonna be?"

   "A cardigan." Duncan hums, barely audible over the slow rumble of Maria's engine. "I'm just practicing for now. Just... trying to get the stitches and reading the pattern down. Good to keep my hands occupied."

   "You gonna make those fun little critters?" Klaus hums uncertainly. "Yeah. They look complicated." They rumble to a stop in front of Duncan's apartment, and he cuts Maria off but doesn't make an effort to move. "You comin' in, or stayin' here..." Klaus is already putting his stitch marker back in and replacing the project in his bag. "Comin' in, got it."

   Isadora's watching something on their little TV when Duncan shoves the door open. It looks vaguely like Property Brothers, which Quigley hates, so it makes sense that she's watching it while he's gone. She grins, wide and mischievous, when she sees them with their hands tangled together. 

   "My boys," she cooes, pausing her show to jump up and wrap her arms around both of them. Duncan stays stiff, but Klaus leans into it, grateful for the affection. "Lemme run go get your present."

   She leaves them in the entryway, so naturally Klaus leans over for a kiss. Kissing Duncan is like kissing an angel. Duncan smiles into it, which makes Klaus go a little lightheaded. They kiss until Isadora clears her throat and presents them with a plain, unassuming white paper bag. There isn't even any tissue paper. Klaus can feel the warmth of his own face as Duncan opens the bag and sighs. 

   "Isadora."

   Isadora smiles innocently.

   "Isadora, what the hell is this?"

   Klaus hazards a glance inside the bag and bursts into laughter. Inside, laying on a bed of condoms in various sizes and styles, is a pair of flavored lubes. Sexy Strawberry and Wet Watermelon stare up at them until Duncan closes the bag and swings it at Isadora, managing to hit her squarely in the boob before Klaus wrestles from his hands.

   "Duncan, you'll spill the lube!"

   "Wh--B--Th---"

   "Thank you for your wonderful gift, Isadora," Klaus says, clapping his hand over Duncan's mouth to stop his stuttering. "We need to go, though, so we don't miss check-in at the hotel." He gives her a winning smile and ushers Duncan out the door. Duncan's mumbling something under his breath, probably promising to shit in Isadora's hairbrush or something equally as petty, so Klaus hisses at him to be nice and throws the bag onto the floor of the passenger seat.

   "What the hell was she thinkin'?" Duncan fumes. "We don't---"

   "She probably just wanted to embarrass you. Violet would've done the same thing. Besides, you were the one who thought she was going to give us a dildo ." Duncan scoffs. "Genuine question, why are you so upset about this?"

   "I guess..." Duncan cards a hand through his hair. "I don't know. Maybe I thought they'd leave us alone about at least this." Klaus tilts his head to the side as Duncan backs out of the space. "Sex is somethin' private for me. I'll joke about it sometimes, but I believe it's somethin' between a person and whoever they're doin' that with. It's not somethin' that others need to be so curious about as to gift us condoms and lube ."

   "That makes sense."

   "Besides, they're always pesterin' me when I come home from spending time with you. The least they can do is give us some goddamned privacy." 

   Klaus hums absently, pulling his crochet from his bag. "What do they pester you about?"

   "What we did. Sometimes I think they're more invested in knowin' what you do than I am -- and you know that's sayin' a lot." Klaus smiles. "Sometimes they ask me what it's like to kiss you, and I tell 'em to kiss you themselves an' find out. 'S nice, though."

   "What is?"

   "Kissin' you." Duncan's hand wanders over to rub Klaus's knee for a moment, but then a little Subaru pulls out in front of them and Duncan has to swerve so Maria doesn't flatten them. "Watch where you're goin', dickhead!"

   "Darling," Klaus says, tangling his fingers with Duncan's over the center console. Duncan grumbles something about idiots behind the wheel, but he squeezes Klaus's hand. "What were you going to say?"

   "Oh, yeah. Y'know. I like kissin' you. You always taste good." Klaus blushes, taking his hand back and starting to crochet again to distract himself. 

   They pass most of the drive just like that, talking about books and things while Klaus crochets. He finishes about four squares before they turn off the highway and start driving down the slower streets. Duncan marvels at the high-rises, and when they get to their hotel he insists on standing in front of it for a moment and staring up the side of the twelve-story building. It makes sense: Duncan's apartment building is only two floors, and he's probably never been somewhere like this. Finally, Klaus manages to get him in the door, and he marvels at the beauty of the place. Klaus's father holds shares in Hilton, so that's where they're staying, and Duncan's boots click across the marble floors as his head is on a swivel, staring in wonder at all the beautiful things around them. Even Klaus is impressed by the quality.

   The woman at the counter gives them a bright smile and Duncan tips his hat at her. 

   "Baudelaire, please," Klaus tells her, and she starts typing away at her computer. Duncan extracts a mint from the little glass bowl on the counter and unwraps it. 

   "So, I see here that you booked a room with one king bed," the woman (her name tag reads Lily ) says, "I have a queen suite open that we could move you gentlemen to. Two queen beds instead of the one king."

   "No, the king is fine." Lily looks between the two of them, somewhat confused. Klaus just fixes her with a knowing stare, and she types a bit more. 

   "Trust me, ma'am, we're well acquainted with... close quarters ." Duncan crunches the mint to punctuate and smiles mischievously. Lily reaches across her desk to present them with a little paper package with two cards inside with the number 827 written on it in neat handwriting. 

   "There's your room keys. There's an ice machine and two vending machines on each floor, and a laundromat on the second floor. The cafe opens at six every morning and is available until six every night, but room service can be ordered starting at four every morning until ten-thirty PM." It's obvious she's trying to stay professional in the face of Duncan's comment, but Klaus takes the keys and nods at her. "You have a credit of about one hundred and fifty dollars in here... oh, it has a note, let's see... it's from the person who paid, and it says it's for the cafe. Luggage carts are around the corner over there." She points to a little alcove. Klaus nods again and slips the keys into his pocket. "Thank you, Mr. Baudelaire."

   Klaus just nods once more and takes Duncan's hand to direct him towards the luggage carts. In his pocket, his phone buzzes with a call, and he picks it up without thinking, a habit he picked up from the triplets calling at all hours of the day. 

   " Finally , Klaus," Carmelita says, and Klaus's blood goes cold. He stops dead in his tracks, and Duncan turns to look at him with a concerned look on his face, but Klaus just mouths to go get the bags. Duncan nods and sticks his hand in Klaus's pocket for the room key (Klaus shivers) and wanders out of sight. "God, I was starting to think you were ignoring me, but your mother told me you just had bad cell service, but she told me something, Klaus---"

   "Carmelita---"

   "And I need you to tell me it's not true." Klaus takes a shaky breath and runs a hand through his hair. "Klaus, are you... gay ?"

   "Extremely," Klaus says, internally cursing the way his voice shakes. "I-I---"

   Carmelita makes a noise into the receiver that's somewhere between disgust and confusion. 

   "I met someone, Carm."

   "So what?"

   " So , I'm happy. Are you telling me you never noticed how I didn't want to do things like normal couples? I've never even kissed you." Klaus cards his hand through his hair again as Duncan reappears in the door with their bags. "If it were up to me, we never would have met."

   "Well, it's not up to you, is it? We both know this has been set up since before I was even born."

   "Don't you ever want to-- I don't know, not marry me?" Carmelita makes another noise. Duncan stops in front of him to press a kiss to his cheek and murmur I love you soft enough that Carmelita can't hear. "You've never thought about what your life would be like if you got to choose?"

   "I am choosing. I choose this. I choose us , Klaus, why can't you choose me?"

   "Because I'm fucking miserable!" Duncan's hand is still heavy and warm on his shoulder. "Can I-- I mean, will you--"

   "Yeah, a'course." Duncan gives him a sweet smile.

   "Thanks." Klaus waits for Duncan to board the elevator before he continues. "Every moment I spend thinking about our relationship is like taking an ice bath. I can't picture a life with you without feeling sick. I don't want--I don't want to be trapped in a life I didn't want with someone I don't--can't love. I'd rather die. I'd rather have a gun to my head---"

   "Okay, okay, I get it. You're a selfish retard that won't put aside his own wants for someone else. I see how it is. Plus, you've let yourself be-- converted by some hillbilly fuck that probably can't spell his own goddamn name! Real big of you, Klaus." Klaus starts several protests, but none of them reach Carmelita, because the dial tone fills his ears and when he pulls his phone away, he's met with his home screen. He makes a wordless sound of frustration and very nearly throws his phone at the ground, but it buzzes with a text from Duncan.

    Looking at the room service menu. Want anything?

   He types out a reply in a staccato series of punches. I'm not hungry, thanks. I'm coming up now.

   Klaus stalks over to the elevator and shoves his thumb into the up button. The elevator takes a moment to appear, and by the time it does, his phone has buzzed with several calls from his mother. He presses the 8 button on the elevator keypad and then the red decline call button on his phone. Immediately, he receives a text from his mother that reads something to the effect of if you don't answer my calls right now, I'll string you up by your ears and leave you for the pigeons. He doesn't know for sure. He doesn't read it. He goes into his contacts and blocks his mother's number, and then Carmelita's. Then, he sets his phone to do not disturb and steps out of the elevator and onto the eighth floor. 827 is relatively far down the hall, but it gives him time to slow his breathing before he pulls his key out of his pocket and unlocks the door.

   Duncan is digging through his duffel, but he pauses to look up when Klaus shoves the heavy door open. He smiles, wide and sweet, and rushes over to wrap Klaus in a hug. Klaus accepts it gratefully, leaning into it, as Duncan kisses his temple and just holds him tight. 

   "How 'bout," Duncan says, "we turn on the HGTV channel and make fun of all'a those white women who flip houses, and I'll have 'em send up a nice bowl'a pasta and some ice cream? How's'at sound?"

   "That actually sounds really nice." Klaus takes a deep, shaky breath. "Duncan, I--... thank you for understanding."

   Duncan presses his forehead against Klaus's and murmurs, "Don't need a thank you. 'S what I'm here for." 

   "I blocked them."

   "I'm proud of you." Klaus smiles. "Really, firefly, I am. I know it's gotta be hard to do something like that. Now. Let's go make fun of Shelly from Vermont for painting her granite countertops."

Chapter Text

   Klaus wakes up in a place he doesn't recognize at first. The bed is empty beside him when he rolls over to bat at the spot Duncan normally occupies. Then, he notices the gentle hum of water rushing through the pipes, and then the abrupt cutoff. Now he remembers: they're at the Hilton in Houston, and they're going to an art museum today. A few moments later, after Klaus has stretched and sat up properly, Duncan appears in the doorway, wrapped in a thick white towel. 

   "Mornin'," he says, moving over to press a kiss to Klaus's forehead. The clock on the bedside table reads 8:22. Duncan settles on the edge of the bed and smiles, hair still dripping slightly, gaze warm and open and affectionate. "Thought I'd get a shower in. Wash off all the dust before some museum lady yells at me for dirtyin' up the place."

   "You're not dirty," Klaus says, trying to tear his eyes away from Duncan's bare torso and failing miserably. 

   "Not anymore, I took a shower." 

   Klaus rolls his eyes. "Go get dressed, you numpty, we're going to miss opening."

   They have to drive around for about fifteen minutes before Ducnan finally caves and pulls over to ask where the parking garage is. The person points to a building they'd drove past no less than four times, and when they get there they have to drive around until they're almost at the top before anything big enough for Maria to fit into is open. Klaus is slightly dizzy by the time they actually find something, but he shakes it off when he jumps down from Maria's cab. They almost get hit by a Ford Escape on their way to the elevator, but luckily Duncan is too caught up in going to see what he calls the baby Jesus emporium. He's not entirely wrong. Most of the art Klaus had seen while glancing through the museum's catalogue online had been religious art. He's just glad Duncan is excited.

   A woman accosts them when they step out of the elevator, insisting they pay for parking and their entrance tickets. Klaus bats Duncan's hand away from his wallet, because Duncan is trying to snatch the card that Klaus is trying to pay with right out of his hand so he can't. It's strange, almost, how Duncan must have so little to spare but always insists on spending money on Klaus. He chalks it up to a combination of chivalry and habit. 

   According to the map, the museum is several buildings connected by a set of tunnels under the streets. They're faced with an escalator to exit the parking garage, and Duncan seems oddly enamored with it.

   "Ain't seen these outside of the mall before," Duncan says, slightly hesitant, but follows when Klaus tugs on his arm to get on it. He'd left his hat at the hotel, so he runs his fingers through his hair instead of fidgeting with the brim like he normally would. Klaus thinks he looks nice without the hat and tells him so while fixing the loose strands that came out of place. "Flatterer," Duncan says, but he smiles and allows Klaus to lead him off the escalator.

   They wander for a while down a long hallway that has odd art hanging from the walls. Then, finally, they come to a larger room that has a bathroom (Duncan dives into the men's side), several other tunnels branching off, and benches for Klaus to settle himself on and consult the map. Apparently, they're under the Beck Building, which seems to be where they want to go, because two floors above them is the gallery of European art. That's usually Jesus-themed, right? Duncan reappears from the bathroom looking somewhat scandalized.

   "There was a man in there," he says.

   "It is the men's restroom."

   "No, I wasn't finished." Duncan huffs out a frustrated breath in playful indignance. "Head-to-toe cowboy gear. He's got the cattle-print chaps, the vest, ten-gallon hat, everythin'." He's whispering like this is some sort of conspiratorial secret. "He looks a fool, if you ask me."

   The man in question exits the bathroom. He looks just as ridiculous as described, mostly because everything he's wearing looks brand new: Duncan would look better in that style of outfit because all of his gear looks broken in. This cowboy just looks fake. He turns down the hall they just came from and then he's gone. 

   Duncan kisses Klaus's cheek and pulls the map from his hands. "Where're we goin' first?"

   "I thought we'd head upstairs. That's where all the European art is. You wanted to see the Jesus stuff, right?" 

   "Sure. I mean, it looked interestin'." Duncan turns the map until he's happy with the orientation and points down one of the branch hallways. "Stairs should be that way."

   "Lead the way, love." Duncan kisses him fully; he tastes like strawberry chapstick. "Duncan, dearest."

   "I think," Duncan says, starting down the hall, "that we should find the most religious piece of art in there and kiss in front of it."

   "You don't think we'd get yelled at by a white woman?" Klaus tangles his fingers with Duncan's, and Duncan snorts.

   "'Course we will. Doesn't mean we can't." Duncan smiles that bright, private smile, and Klaus feels himself melt. "God, you're beautiful when you smile."

   "You are, too," Klaus says, trying to deflect the blush on his face. "Beautiful, I mean."

   "Naw. Somethin' angelic about you." There's an elevator at the end of the hall, and they take it all the way up until they're faced with a large atrium filled with things in glass cases. Upon closer inspection (also known as Duncan tugging him towards the cases eagerly) it's a collection of Ancient Egyptian art, statues, papyrus, and pieces of hieroglyph-covered stones. Ancient Egypt has always been somewhat fascinating to Klaus, but there's something invigorating in the way Duncan seems to light up, moving from exhibit to exhibit with a sort of childlike wonder that Klaus has never seen from him before. He's beautiful, Klaus thinks, as he trails behind. 

   Finally, Duncan has made his way through all of the cases and he wanders through a doorway to stare in awe at the paintings beyond. 

   "There's-- oh."

   For someone so laid back, Duncan is surprisingly expressive. That's always been a constant. Duncan shows every emotion in the lines of his face, but this one is new. He looks hesitant, almost, but more worried than anything. There aren't many people in the gallery, Klaus can see that much, but the few that are there are wandering around, silently observing the paintings, so it isn't that; but perhaps it's the paintings themselves. They seem to seep from every pore of the room, and you can't walk five feet without seeing another depiction of a biblical scene. Klaus hadn't expected this volume of paintings from the pictures online.

   "Duncan?"

   "Yeah?"

   "Are you okay?" Duncan turns to him then, eyebrows furrowed, and frowns. "Is there something wrong? You just kind of... I mean, you seemed so interested in the art out there, I thought maybe..."

   "There's a lot," Duncan says, turning back to the gallery and humming in disapproval. "I don't think I like it."

   "Okay. How about we find a bench and look to see what else is on the map?" Duncan turns on his heel and heads for the benches in the atrium behind them. He seems calmer out here, despite the larger amount of people milling about, and the volume of noise emanating from the lower floor. He sits with his back leaned against the wall while Klaus examines the map beside him.

   "I'm sorry," Duncan murmurs. 

   "You don't need to be." Duncan crosses his arms almost petulantly. "Really, dear, I don't mind. It's not like Jesus actually cares whether or not we look at paintings of him as a naked baby." That makes Duncan smile. "It looks like there's some modern art in another building. Want to go make fun of it?"

   "No more naked babies?"

   "No, I think those are all here." Klaus turns the map over as Duncan waves hello at a little baby in a stroller. It's an adorable baby, to be fair. They have a little bow tied around their head, and they're chewing on the ear of a little pink rabbit. "It's a bit of a walk."

   "Well, then," Duncan says, rising and offering his hand to Klaus with a smile.

   They make it to the modern art with little trouble. Duncan is less overwhelmed by the white walls and the simpler art, art that he scoffs at and immediately launches into criticizing. They settle themselves on a bench in the center of a room while he tells Klaus that Isadora once went to an art camp when they were six, and apparently the art that came out of that was better than this collection. 

  "I mean," he says, "that one looks like a unicorn threw up." He points to a painting that's just multicolored splotches all over the canvas. "Imagine if it was off-white."

   "Oh, gross."

   "Right? What even is all this?"

   "Art," Klaus says. "Art is anything that makes you feel something."

   "I feel..." Duncan squints and tilts his head as if a different angle will make the painting anything more than rainbow spots. "I don't know."

   "That's not a feeling. What is a feeling is being disgusted by the unicorn vomit painting." Duncan snorts.

   "So you're art, then."

   Klaus feels his face warm.

   "I mean, you make me feel things. That's all art is, right?" 

   "Well--- I suppose, by my own definition, y-yeah, I'm art." For some reason, that only makes him blush more. The idea that Duncan considers him attractive enough to be art is... it's not embarrassing, not at all, so he doesn't know why his face is so warm. Duncan kisses his cheek and tangles their fingers together. "I suppose that means you're art, too," he says, turning his head to find Duncan only inches away. He presses their faces together and kisses Duncan softly, gently, almost reverently. Like the masterpiece he is. They only break apart because someone ahems behind them.

   "I'm going to have to ask you two to leave," the museum guard says, arms crossed. He has on aviator sunglasses, sports a thick mustache, and wears his badge like it's some sort of medal of honor. "We've had some complaints."

   "Don't have to tell me twice," Duncan mumbles, rising and tugging Klaus towards the elevator. It's getting late into the afternoon, anyway, because before they made their way up to the modern art exhibits, they stopped in the little cafe to purchase mediocre, extremely overpriced food for lunch. The woman behind the counter had glared at Klaus when he'd asked if she knew if anything was kosher, so he'd just ordered a salad and pretended the lettuce wasn't soggy. After that, they'd examined the massive installation on the first floor: a tapestry woven from soda can tabs and bottle caps that covered an entire wall from floor to ceiling. 

   The elevator plays something inexplicably familiar as they descend at snail speed, but Klaus can't put his finger on what it is. Duncan leans his head on Klaus's shoulder, sighing heavily, until the elevator doors open and they have to start their trek back to Maria.

   "That guard had a pedo mustache," Duncan says as they pass through a tunnel decorated with all different colored lights. "Dickhead."

   "Oh, no. Gays making out in the gallery. Whatever shall we do?" Klaus deadpans, and Duncan laughs. "Oh, but sir, there wasn't even tongue!"

   "Lord, Klaus." Several heads turns as they walk past, laughing about stupid jokes they tell each other, until they make it back to the parking garage and a couple with a tiny baby in a stroller holds the elevator doors for them. The baby seems enamored with Duncan, as most people are, and he waves down at it with a soft smile on his face. "She's adorable," he tells the mom, who beams. 

   "Do you have kids?" the dad asks, to which Duncan laughs. "Yeah, that's what I felt, until I met Marianne." He wraps his arm around the mom's shoulders, and they look at each other with matching lovesick expressions. Klaus feels a sense of longing for what they have. He wants that with Duncan. His thoughts are cut off by Duncan wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing a pair of kisses to the side of his face. 

   The elevator stops at the third floor, and the little family files off. Duncan takes this as an opportunity to spin Klaus in his grasp and kiss him on the mouth, slow and sweet and everything Klaus likes. Then, the doors ding open, and they have to hurry over to Maria because it somehow started raining while they were inside the museum. Klaus scrambles into the passenger seat, laughing and sopping wet, and Duncan kisses him again.

   "Oh, this trip was a splendid idea, my love," Duncan says, turning the key and pushing his dripping hair out of his face. "Will you... find us a nice place for dinner?"

   "Sure," Klaus says, "what am I looking for?"

   "Hmm?"

   "They've got everything here. Italian, steakhouses, seafood, fast food, Asian, Texmex..."

   "You know, I've never been to Olive Garden." Klaus picks the closest one to their hotel. "That's my way of sayin'..."

   "Yeah, I'm putting in the directions now." Duncan honks at a Miata driving up the wrong side of the narrow path between rows of cars. "Do you like Italian food?"

   "It's carbs​​​​​​​," Duncan says, like Klaus is an idiot for not immediately recognizing that carbs are a gift from heaven. To be fair, he's not wrong. "Just put in the directions, love."