Chapter Text
HEARTSTEEL, Riot Game’s flashing boy band that went trending for weeks after their announcement, got millions of views and streams on music platforms in just hours after their debut song “PARANOIA” was released, they were the artists of the moment.
It’s been a year since that.
Oh, but the euphoria never died out.
Every time they got into a stage after that, was never the same. For some of them, meant stepping into the spotlight once again, hearing how thousands of people screamed out their names, how thousands were actually excited to see them once again, or for the first time.
To others, it meant redemption. It meant coming back to clean their names, to prove they were more than just a pretty face, more than a troubled teen, more than an agressive monster, more than a one hit, more than a failed career, more than their brother.
For once since a long time, they were guys someone wanted to hear.
And a lot has happened since then.
After paranoia, they have various presentations as invited artists in other band’s concerts, survival shows, reality shows, and many other shows.
They made meet and greets, each one bigger than the other, fan calls, made a surprise appearance at a local fan gathering where they danced to paranoia when the music randomly started.
Ezreal became GQ Korea ambassador, Yone was a coach for a Japanese survival show, K’sante collabed with a popular protein powder brand alongside Sett, Apehlios released a song that went viral over social media and Kayn was cover of a magazine promoting Calvin Klein, which he also gave an interview to, revealing that Rhaast was a bit more than just his stage alter-ego.
We’re not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy.
All of them had their own struggles with both personal and group activities, hate was always in the air and the media was constantly shoving cameras in their faces, making it hard to keep stuff under the rug. It’s what forced Ksante to come out or Sett talking about his dad.
It hadn’t been and would never be easy, but if there’s one thing to highlight from all this, it was the bond they created. They were stronger, they became a family, a space where they could run into when things went out of control, it was coming back to a home, to several shoulders to cry on or to laugh with.
So hate didn’t matter.
Only their bond (and their fans) did.
Because of their determination (and lots of help from Alune) they released an EP which was very successful, giving the band even more attention than what they already had. That led to them having their very own concert, their first concert in a long time, or the first one, period.
They prepared for months. Training, practicing, working, making logistics and correcting mistakes. The band was filled with determination, looking forward to that awaited day.
That day was today.
After months of preparation. It was finally time.
So there were they, 5 hours before the show, setting every single device on, connecting microphones (every single one of the 7 customed microphones Ezreal INSISTED on getting, “It’s iconic” he said, and no one can tell him otherwise), etc.
They made a quick roll call to make sure everyone who needed to be there, was there.
You could see long strands of hot pink hair and two fluffy pig tails fly from side to side across the backstage, holding a wooden board, tons of paper and an angry grim.
“ What the hell do you mean by ‘you didn’t tell me that’!?” She yelled in Korean, very angrily.
Despite Alune being commonly known as the good manager and certified member spoiler, she could be very intimidating when she got mad.
“I sent you a detailed pdf last week with everything we needed you to bring, we paid in advance as agreed and now you tell me I don’t tell you the date was today?” Her voice was slowly starting to rise even more, if it was even possible.
After a few more minutes of Alune fighting with god knows who over the phone, many of the members were already at the stage, ready for their next step on the schedule.
“You better. I expect the equipment to be delivered as agreed, have a nice day.” She strongly said the last part. Maybe she really didn’t want that dumbass to have a nice day after all.
“Don’t worry noona I’m sure we can make it without whatever is running late”
He tried to reassure, miserably failing as Alune gave him an exhausted look full of sarcasm and hatred, more towards the incompetent man she just talked to than to the green haired man, but well, he made the mistake to talk to her, so now he gets the fury.
“Ah yes, Ezreal, of course we can make it through a concert without recording equipment” She harshly said towards the younger, maybe a bit harsher than she would want to as she quickly raised her hand to her mouth in realization.
Ezreal understood how much stress the poor manager must have been under, so he just took a few steps back, grabbed a water bottle that was on the floor and handed it to her.
A small peace gift.
She gave him a look full of regret and guilt, as she sadly shared a smile. Ezreal nodded softly and returned the smile.
“Breathe” Aphelios said softly only centimeters away from the girl’s ear, rubbing small circles on her back as she calmed down a bit.
Watching the twins interact with each other was always a delight. See how they both knew the other as the palm of their hand.
Aphelios always knew when Alune had a headache she (successfully) tried to hide to the rest of the team, or when she hid her cramps or fights with Diana, but Aphelios? He always knew what was actually happening.
Just as Alune always knew if her brother was not talking because he was taking care, because he was upset, because he had used his voice too much or because of any other reason.
It was heartwarming.
The ying to its yang.
Ezreal thought of it all while sat down at the floor once again, fidgeting with the loose lace of his pants.
“What the fuck was that about?” Kayn spoke out of nowhere.
But it didn’t startle the smaller guy, because over the past year sharing his life with the troublesome man, he had learned how to predict when he was around.
‘Because he smells like cherry’ his head reminded him.
He calmly looked to his side, suddenly remembered Kayn didn’t speak Korean, therefore, he only understood a little part of the conversation that had just taken place.
“Some douchebag tried to tell Alune she didn’t tell him when was the date to deliver some stuff. She was mad as fuck” He explained with a smile now that he knew the girl was okay.
“What a dumbass”
With a grunt, Kayn sat properly beside Ezreal, changing from the uncomfortable kneeling position he was first at.
“Is she okay tho? She seemed a bit heated”
There it was, the true Kayn, the one who didn’t have to keep up with a tough persona and could ask about his friends freely.
“Yeah, you know how these things are, she’s just stressed and this seems to have pushed her over the edge. Aphelios has it.”
Kayn hummed as a response. Falling into a comfortable silence.
Sett came back happily chatting with Alune after a few minutes, the twin looking way calmer than before. The staff started to gather around Kayn and Ezreal, waiting for instructions.
Even surrounded by people, Ezreal could only think about the hypnotizing scent Kayn emanated. The soft hums to the background music K’Sante suggested to play in order to keep their sanity were the only music Ezreal would ever want to hear.
He stared at the bright pink hair, once long and ink black with just a strand of shining blue hair.
The first time he thought Kayn was hot.
Kayn looked to his side, catching Ezreal's eyes. He didn’t look away, he didn’t dare. Because the moment he first met those gorgeous green and red glowing eyes, he knew he would never be able to look away from them.
“Hey” Was the only thing Kayn said, because, believe it or not, he was just as mesmerized.
“Hey” Ezreal said back.
And in that precise moment, it felt like it was only the two of them.
Only a monster and a prince
Only an assassin and an explorer
Only a king and a servant
Only a rapper and a singer
Only Kayn and Ezreal.
Oh, Kayn and Ezreal.
It had all started a few months after their first meeting as an official group.
They were all new, the only ones who had actually met in person before were Sett, Aphelios and Alune.
Ezreal would be lying if he said he didn’t get creeped out the first time he saw Kayn.
I mean, in person.
Everyone knew about KDA and True Damage Akali's, hot younger brother. They also knew about Akali’s hot brother’s reputation.
Media hadn’t gone easy on Kayn. Revealing things he wasn’t ready to reveal, making him even more violent and protective over himself than before. The rumors around the removement from his band had sold like hot gossip.
‘I heard he broke one of the member’s nose over a silly fight’
‘Well, I heard he goes around bars looking for girls to take home, such a waste’
‘Did you guys know he had a problem with drugs?’
Kayns intimidating aura around the small meeting room could be sensed by everybody. It was obvious how he had purposefully chosen the farest chair he could find.
“If we are gonna do this, we’re gonna have to come clean. We’re gonna be a team from now on, we will be living together, working together, shining together, so, let’s begin with a quick introduction.” Sett said during their first meeting
That was the first time Ezreal had felt genuine interest in his coworkers' backstories.
After a few weeks, they started planning the visual concept for their music, and after a couple more, they finally got the green light from Yone to make image changes.
Ezreal was tired of his blonde hair.
It reminded him of his past career.
Of past experiences that weren’t planned by him. But he was ready for a change.
“Since I already have colored hair, I’m gonna keep it this way. But any of you are welcome to make personal image changes as you think fits.” Yone explained during one of their meetings.
“I would like to change my hair. I think black doesn’t suit the concept.” Aphelios explained in a low voice.
“I’m keeping it this way, red it’s kind of my thing.” Sett followed.
“I actually want to change my blonde as well, maybe get like a crazy haircut, I don’t care, anything to get rid of…” The boy took a pause and with his finger made a circle around his face with a disgusted grim.
“All this” He finished.
At that time Ezreal still had a healthy natural blonde hair (not actually, he had been dyeing it since he was a kid, he was a brunette)
It was long enough he reached a bit past his shoulders. He usually wore it up in a ponytail or bun when he had to go out while in a contract with his old label. He hated long hair.
“Do as you wish” The oldest of them stated with a smile.
Later that day, Aphelios, Ksante, Alune and him had gone shopping for hair products. Bleach, hair color, hair masks to protect their hair from getting absolutely destroyed, etc.
They returned home with a vibrant smile, ready for the awaiting make over.
Blue for Phel
Pink for Alune
A vibrant green for K’Sante (“just a strand!” He warned)
And a soft kind of neon green for Ezreal.
While all of them were entering the house, they spotted Kayn in the kitchen. He was over the phone, a can of monster in one hand and a plastic bag on the other. Ezreal noticed how it looked like a little dye brush was peeking from it.
He felt his smile grow wider.
“I’m very tired, boys, the makeover will have to wait for me for a few days.” Alune said, while politely greeting Kayn, who softly raised a hand while looking at the girl, saying hi back, before leaving to her twin’s room.
“Me too. Not ready to leave my hair in yall’s hands until I see how yours turns out” K’Sante, as trusting as always, said to the poor boys.
Before doing the same as Alune and heading to his room, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a cold water bottle, after that, he patted Kayn on the shoulder, which he answered with a nod.
After a few minutes of Ezreal and Aphelios talking about what they wanted to do with their hair in the sofa, they heard the boy in the kitchen.
“Yeah, okay. Yes I will. Okay, bye. Yeah, yeah, love you too.” He said before hanging up.
“Ooohhh~ who’s the lucky girl?” Ezreal tried to tease with a smirk. Aphelios softly giggling.
“My sister.” Kayn replied. Just as cold as always.
That actually made Phel let out a proper laugh which quickly turned into a cough.
Kayn, as the performer he was, smirked and made a theatrical bow before the stunned singer, making Aphelios laugh (and cough) even more.
Just as Kayn was about to leave upstairs, he took the bag again, which caught Ezreal's attention.
“You’re changing your hair? Don’t lie to me cause I saw the brush in your bag.” He leaned over the sofa in order to look him in the eye.
Damn… that mesmerizing gaze of his.
But Ezreal could see that in anyone’s eyes, right?
No homo.
“Yeah, so what?” Ah… again that defensive personality of his.
It was crazy how he could go from joking with them, to protect himself.
Like an injured animal would.
“Nothing, really” He reassured, raising his hands in surrender. “But Phel and I are gonna change our hair tonight. Why don’t you join?”
The offer was tempting to Kayn.
“Not happening” He said, and quickly turned away, making his way upstairs.
Ezreal felt defeated. He sighed and faded into the sofa.
“Give him some time. You know he didn’t have it easy with his other bandmates.” Phel interrupted his thoughts, which were already starting to tell him how much Kayn probably hated him for stepping over the line.
The afternoon went by calmly. Ezreal and Aphelios spent all that time deciding what exactly they wanted to do and watching YouTube videos about how to properly dye your hair. It was Phel’s request despite Ez telling him how many times he had dyed and colored his hair throughout his life.
“It was made by professionals, not you” was the heartbreaking statement the instrumentalist made before quickly going back to watch the random video from a random dude working on a wig.
But when the very late night came, they finally decided to get to the job.
Ezreal and Aphelios were having a nice time in the bathroom. Raven hair spilled everywhere after giving Aphelios a haircut first. Nothing big honestly, just a few trim on the bangs and sides, although the boy decided to get an undercut and shave his edges.
He looked very good, actually. Ezreal had done a very nice job, leaving the other’s mouth wide open.
“I can’t believe you actually did this” He uttered in disbelief.
“Better believe it girl. I used to cut my best friend's hair all the time since I wasn’t allowed to cut mine.” Ezreal put the scissors down, letting the other admire himself in the mirror.
“We move on to color and you’re all done.” He smiled.
“Ah shit, wait” Ezreal cursed “I forgot the bleach in my room. Be right back.”
Aphelios hummed in approval and dismissed his comment as he was more interested in taking pictures of the whole mess they were making.
And maybe, just maybe, a few of how much he liked his new haircut.
Ezreal stepped out of the bathroom, brushing off strands of ivory hair out of his clothes.
And then he saw him.
Kayn was just getting out of his room, wearing nothing but basketball shorts, sleepers and a ridiculous pair of half long pink socks.
Oh, he was also wearing his hair down.
That extremely long pitch black hair that reached the back of his knees. It wasn’t common, he would usually wear it on braids or buns.
He also noticed the same bag from earlier hanging from one of his hands.
Ezreal reached towards his room, which was right next to Kayn’s, grabbed the three packages of bleach at the speed of light and came back to the corridor.
Kayn was staring at him.
Oh… that mesmerizing gaze of his.
Again? No homo.
“Hey, Kayn.” God knows where Ezreal got the guts to start a conversation with him, considering the little to no opening from the taller man to do so.
“Hey…” He answered.
It had been the softest tone Ezreal had ever heard coming out of his mouth. They were always loud curses, harmful nicknames or mutters of annoyance.
But this time, it was soft.
And Ezreal felt his heart squish beneath the soft skin of his chest.
“I know you said no earlier, but… the offer is still open.” He didn’t have to explain himself, Kayn’s silence told him how well the other had understood.
“Yeah… I’ll think about it.” He said before heading downstairs.
But nevertheless, Ezreal came back to the bathroom with a wide smile and started prepping the bleach for Phel’s hair.
He was halfway through the process when he heard two soft knocks at the bathroom door. He looked with a smile, thinking it probably was Yone because of the tenderness of the knock.
But oh, was he wrong.
Both men were left amazed as the least expected person stood in front of them, his long raven hair on a ponytail, the same bag in his hand.
“Hey” Ezreal smiled towards him
“Hey.” Kayn replied, uncomfortably shifting, wanting to find the words.
“We only have one chair, you’re gonna have to sit on the floor.” Aphelios said, quickly returning his sight to his phone.
A silent invitation to join their activity.
And Kayn took it, feeling a strange warm grow inside of him.
But this time it wasn’t rage. It was sweet. Comfortable. Nice.
Is this what it’s like to feel wanted?
He didn’t even notice when he was dragged inside the little bathroom, some random pop song playing on a small speaker settled in the sink. Ezreal kept working on Aphelios’ bleach, Kayn would only look.
Until he finally noticed getting called.
“Sorry, what?” He shook his head, trying to get his mind back to the present.
“I asked you if you knew how to apply bleach.”
Ezreal said
“Ah, yeah, I’ve done it a few times before on myself and my sister.” He explained in an, again, uncommonly tender voice.
“Great. Take the gloves over there and help me out with Phel.” Ezreal’s smile was so bright it caught Kayn like a spell, making him obey the order almost immediately, putting the pair of plastic gloves on and waiting for some sort of permission from the boy whose hair he was about to touch.
“I don’t bite dude” Aphelios said, evidently talking to Kayn.
He got the message though, as he immediately took one of the brushes, charged it with product and started spreading it through the other’s hair.
This felt nice.
He could get used to it.
Don’t.
Ah, yeah. Thanks Rhaast.
The three of them fell into a somehow comfortable aura, Ezreal singing along softly to the music still playing on the speaker, Phel tapping with his foot and even Kayn found himself humming the melodies of those catchy songs he had sworn to hate.
“What are you getting done?” Ezreal asked out of the blue.
Aphelios had let the other two know, about 5 minutes ago, that his voice had run out, so he wouldn’t be talking anymore, which made the scene even more quiet than before.
“I was thinking pink.” Kayn found himself answering questions easily, unusual.
You’re letting your guard down.
Shut up, no one asked you.
Ezreal looked at him funny and then laughed.
But Kayn was for once able to understand.
He wasn’t laughing at him.
He was laughing with him.
So an embarrassed chuckle left his lips, pulling another strand on Aphelios’ hair into his fingers to apply the bleach.
“Not Barbie pink, like a neon-fuchsia kind of pink. Though about adding purple or green ends, not really sure if that would look good on me.”
“What are you talking about? Purple ends sound sick.” Ezreal assured.
“Never thought of cutting it? That much hair is gonna be a bit hard to bleach completely.” The shorter boy tried to reach a hand to the other’s hair.
Maybe it was Ezreal’s mistake, or maybe it was Kayn’s ghosts, but he flinched at the sudden move, wordlessly letting Ezreal know that his hair wasn't to be touched.
None of Kayn was allowed to be touched.
The taller man, ashamed of his reaction, remained silent as he took yet another strand of the boy sat in front of them, finishing up the last of the work he had to do.
Aphelios was extremely good at reading people, even when they were a sealed, curse-protected book like Kayn was, or like Sett had once been.
The boy tapped Ezreal’s hand, a petition for him to translate.
“I wanted to change my hair not because how it would fit in the band's concept, but because I want to leave my past behind. You know how they say hair holds memories? I strongly believe that's true.” Aphelios signed, Ezreal’s translation was immaculate, getting to transmit the other’s feeling.
“You don’t have to translate, I understand him.” Was this man never gonna stop surprising him?
But he listened anyway, and made a small hum for the boy to understand he could start signing again.
“I think my black hair represents an era where I wasn’t happy. A period in my life where I thought I would never do music again, that everything I had once fought for was for nothing, all because I was stubborn.” Ah… the surgery.
“But now I know that's not true, and I think black hair Aphelios doesn’t know that. So I want to come into this new part of my life as a new person, and that means a new image.” The boy stopped signing, resting his delicate hands on his lap.
Ezreal shook both his hands vertically, more known as jazz hands, the sign used to represent applause in sign language.
“I want to change my hair almost for the same reason. The blonde Ezreal was this cheesy pop icon, and don’t get me wrong, I love the fans I got because of my past albums and loved the chance to make music, but hated the experience.” He let out a bittersweet laugh.
“I didn’t get to choose what I wanted my career to be like, I just got told to shut up and look pretty. I never got a say during creative development of my songs, they are not even mine, I didn’t even write them. I was literally the doll of some creepy old man who wanted a perfect boy to sing cheesy songs about innocent first love and shit like that. But I wanted so much more than that.” Both men were silent, giving the boy a space to talk as much as he wanted.
“My hair was evidently another one of the things my label controlled. I’m a brunette but I’ve been bleaching my hair since I was 12. I wasn’t allowed to dye it or cut it if it wasn’t because my manager said I could.”
“The industry is not a place for kids. But I was too deep in to realize that.” His gaze softened, feeling that well known pressure in his chest.
“But now I get to choose, you guys gave me the chance to choose. Now I get to be who I want to be, I get to write my songs, experiment with my own rhythms and concepts… and dye my hair the color I want, that’s why I’m doing it.”
Ezreal finished explaining, he let out a sigh, feeling how his shoulders relaxed with the confession. Who could’ve thought telling his story could be so relieving.
Both were expecting for Kayn to go next, but neither pressured when the other remained silent, taking off his gloves as the two of them finally had finished applying the chemical into Phel’s hair.
But neither complained when he sat on the edge of the bathtub, took a deep breath, and while playing with his long hair, started talking.
“I think we all have similar reasons.” He started.
“I haven’t had a haircut since I started living with my now dad. I was around 11, maybe 12. Cutting my hair has always been a hard topic because, as Aphelios says, hair holds memories and I guess I wasn’t ready to leave those memories behind.”
“But eventually, I don’t know how, I just made my piece with never cutting my hair, ever. It even made me bond with my sister, she taught me how to braid it when it was reaching my chest and it was always looking like a bird nest.” He allowed himself to laugh.
“My hair has always been the easiest way for me to express myself, I used to color it a lot when I was in high school, but again, I never cut it. And when I joined my old band, I used my hair to hide away. Always wearing bangs and hair down cause that way most of myself was covered, people couldn’t talk, I couldn’t give those bitches more reasons to make my life hell, even though I always seemed to give many.”
“Anyway. I think I just want to try a new look since I’m already giving a second chance to music.”
Both of the boys in front of him gave him a warm smile, filled with understanding and love.
It wasn't pity. It was empathy.
And Kayn never thought he would be looked at that way.
The three of them spent a little more time talking. During that time, Ezreal had already chopped off half of his hair, leaving only one particular long strand in the very middle.
Aphelios was rinsing his head in the tub with Kayn’s help, who couldn’t stop yelling at him for moving too much.
“So… what are we doing with your hair?” Ezreal asked with a sweet tone, and Kayn knew exactly what he was doing.
“Honestly?” Ezreal hummed with expectation.
“Do whatever the fuck you want with it.”