Chapter Text
Chapter 1
"Right now, you're pretty much everything," said Paige, taking Alex's hand in her own.
They didn't have long to stare into one another's eyes. The sound of bass from another apartment began to shake the walls and floors. Alex sighed. Then came laughter from her own apartment – it was a happiness she couldn't appreciate and wanted no part of. "Let's get out of here," she said.
They held hands all the way to a nearby park. It was nearly deserted, quiet, and the perfect place to just sit and talk in comfort. As the darkness grew tangible, making the length of time spent together so very apparent, Paige perked up. "This is kinda like our first date. Well, you know, together. And knowing about our togetherness."
Alex turned to face Paige, straddling the bench, and smiled. "Do you want to go out on a real date? Like, dinner and movie?"
"That would be nice. Anywhere but our movie theatre though. Last time I tried that, Meeri stole me for a shift."
"Alright. We'll go to the one on the other side of town. And I'll pay. For all of it."
"You don't have to."
"I want to."
"You should keep your money, instead of wasting it on me."
"Hardly a waste. And I can afford it. I'm not that poor."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course."
Paige seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Does this mean I take you out next time? It's so weird not always being the recipient."
"You can if you want. Probably be a good idea, 'cause I have a feeling that you are one expensive date. I may not be able to afford you."
Paige smirked and looked down at her lap.
"It's late," said Alex, getting up. "I'll walk you to the bus stop."
"Have you studied for tomorrow's test?" asked Paige as they walked.
"Wasn't planning on it. We should talk about tomorrow though."
"About what's going to happen when we get to school?" asked Paige, looking down at her fingers interlocked with Alex's.
"About if you are really ready to not care what other people think. Because as wonderful as this day has become, it didn't start out this way. Got pretty crappy too, if I remember right."
"Best behavior tomorrow," promised Paige in her bubbly demeanor.
"Not just that…whatever that means. No more messing with my emotions, ok? If this is real," she said, holding up their hands, "then it's got to be real tomorrow."
"I understand. I'll meet you on the front steps tomorrow morning and we'll walk in just like this."
"Really?" asked Alex, looking vulnerable for a split-second.
"Really."
Chapter 2
Paige was sitting on the steps of Degrassi a full half hour before school started. Despite having her bed back, she'd hardly slept at all – for the second night in a row. She'd woken before her alarm and then spent extra time on her hair and make-up. She'd even changed clothes three times. Nervous? No doubt about it.
Now she found herself sitting there, wearing something she hoped Alex would like, staring at her open physics book but not really seeing anything on the page. All she could think about was Alex and how this day would go.
Every time someone walked up the stairs, her head jolted up and her heart pounded. To anyone who asked, she answered truthfully that she was waiting for Alex. And to those who responded with quizzical glances, Paige offered them a smile and a challenge in her eyes. She wasn't about to relinquish her crown; she was still the queen of Degrassi.
"Marco!" exclaimed Paige, delighted to see a friendly face.
"Hey. Studying for the test?"
"No. Not so much. Waiting for Alex."
Marco took a seat beside her. "So you two are talking again?"
"A little bit more than that," she said, biting her lip to keep from smiling prematurely.
"Oh?" said Marco, raising his eyebrows.
"We're kind of a couple now."
"Kind of?"
"As in definitely." Paige let herself smile widely.
"Well, Paige Michalchuk! I never saw that one coming. I hope you plan on – "
"She's here!" exclaimed Paige, throwing her book into her bag.
" – filling in the details for me…later," continued Marco.
"Sorry. Bit excited."
"It's fine. I understand. Go on. She's waiting."
Paige skipped down the stairs, doing her best to walk and not run to Alex. "Are you ready?" she asked giddily.
"I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. And how are you doing today, Paige?"
"Sorry for the relationship faux pas. I'm just nervous…excited…beyond happy to see you." She took her hands, pulling Alex towards her for a quick kiss on the lips.
"They're already staring," said Alex, looking up at the front doors where a few dozen students were momentarily stopped in their tracks. Paige looked up too with concern.
"Are you ready?" she asked again.
"Hell yeah. You?"
Paige took a deep breath, dropped her smile, and tightened her grip on Alex's hand. "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's do it."
Chapter 3
She wasn't about to admit to Alex just how nervous she really was. She could barely admit it to herself. Her reputation was at stake here, the reputation she'd fought tooth and nail to preserve during her stead at Degrassi. It had withstood a great deal; she wasn't sure it could survive this, though.
All night long she'd fretted over this. Could she really stand to become a social outcast half-way through her senior year? Would Hazel still talk to her? What if she lost the Spirit Squad?
Even though Paige held a look of determination in her eyes, Alex could tell she was scared just by the fierce grip of her hand. It was starting to hurt now, but instead of telling Paige to loosen up, she squeezed back harder. And admittedly, she felt her own stomach doing flip-flops as they walked through the doors.
She knew what they were thinking. She'd been one of them just a year ago, giving the queers shit for reasons she no longer understood. She knew what to expect – the words…and the violence. But all that she could handle.
Alex knew Paige could handle it too. She knew how to hold her own. The only thing she feared was that she would choose not to handle it, that she would step away from her at the first hateful utterance. You can do this, Paige , she mentally willed, I know you too well. You know you're better than them. Show them you don't care. Break them. Threaten them. Destroy them. Just don't abandon me in this.
As they walked through the halls, the crowd of students opening to make room for them, whispering all the while, Paige realized she had nothing to fear in herself. She'd never let anyone bring her down; there was something inside herself that didn't even allow for that. It was as though the harder things got, the more determined she was to stand tall.
After watching Alex make a few kids run off with just a glance, she realized another thing: they were the most powerful couple at Degrassi now. Her popularity and Alex's ability to strike fear in the hearts of her enemies did not bode well for those who wished to oppose them. They really were a force to be reckoned with.
All eyes were upon them (except for Marco's, whose eyes were fixed on his physics text) when they walked into homeroom. No sooner had they taken their seats than Alex pulled Paige's chair next to hers and kissed her good on the lips for all to see. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that," she whispered into her ear.
The whispering of their classmates increased and was punctuated by audible phrases. Marco looked up, confused, before leaning over to Paige. "Did I just miss your first PDA?"
"Second. Aren't you supposed to be stressing over the test?"
"And miss you two embarking on this fascinating adventure of love?"
Paige rolled her eyes and Alex looked at him as though he were crazy.
"Alright, alright," he relented. "Back to vectors."
The bell rang as Mr. Simpson hurried into the classroom, looking overwhelmed and exhausted. Paige began to check her email as he called roll, but soon interrupted him.
"Yes, Paige?" he sighed.
"Mr. Simpson, could you please remind everyone that sending hate mail through dmail is a violation of school code and warrants suspension?"
He sighed again and rubbed his eyes. It was far too early in the morning for this, he thought. "Did I miss something?"
"They're gay!" called out a boy from the back of the class.
"Hey!" called out Simpson. "Watch your language or take a trip to the office."
Paige turned to the face the boy, declaring confidently to him and to all her other classmates that she was not gay.
"Me either," said Alex.
"I am!" perked up Marco. "Are you sure those messages aren't for me?" he asked Paige.
"Can we please focus? Paige, if you've received hate mail, you may go report it now."
"I got some too," said Alex.
"Alright, you're both excused. And class, could we please practice tolerance and understanding? And refrain from…" His voice trailed off as Alex took Paige's hand, smirking at him as they walked past. "…name calling…."
Today was going to be a long, long day.
Chapter 4
It had been a long day. They'd had more than their share of childish hate mail. Whispers and mean words had followed them everywhere. Lunch had started out painfully bad. Paige stood in the entry way, for the first time ever not enjoying every pair of eyes on her and only walked in because Alex did. Downtown Sasquatch soon came to their rescue though. They were grateful for friends.
When the bell rang at the end of the day, Paige leaned over to Alex and rested her head on her shoulder. "We made it," she said.
"Don't you still have Spirit Squad?"
"Yes," said Paige, not making any effort to move.
"Come on," said Alex laboriously, forcing her to stand up and sigh. "I'll walk you there. Mind if I stay and watch?"
"I don't, but they might," she said, pointed her chin at Hazel, who was busy staring and whispering to another member of the squad. Hazel shot a hateful look at the couple.
"You don't honestly care, do you?"
"Hazel's my best friend."
"If she were truly your best friend, she could have, you know, been your friend today. She seems to be going out of her way to make it clear that your friendship is over," Alex said, loud enough for everyone to hear.
Paige studied Hazel, searching for something in her eyes that still spoke of friendship. Hazel turned away and left the room.
"So, can I stick around?"
"Of course, of course," said Paige, hiding her look of uncertainty from Alex.
Alex nudged her. "See what you've turned me into? The girl who'd rather drink poison than watch cheerleaders is now begging you for permission to go to Spirit Squad practice."
Rehearsal was bad from the beginning. There were more stares and whispers, but they were so much more apparent given that there were so few of them in such a large space. Paige tried to get them to attention but was having little success. She looked back at Alex, desperate for some kind of help, even if it was just a reminder of what she was doing this for, and noticed a certain boy sitting in the stands.
"Chante! Is there something in particular that is so important you can't focus?"
"No. I'm concentrating," replied the girl with an air of derision.
"Oh, so you're not busy staring at my girlfriend and whispering about it right in front of me – in earshot, no less?" Paige walked up to her, staring her down the whole way. "Would you like me to ban significant others from rehearsals?" she asked, turning to look at the boy in the stands – Chante's boyfriend. "Because I'll do it. You know I will."
Chante stood there in steely silence for a while before looking down in defeat.
"If you can't pay attention," Paige continued, addressing all the girls now, "then you're not going to learn the routines. And if you can't learn the routines, then you're off the squad. Do I make myself clear?"
"Does this only apply when you actually have routines for us to learn?" asked Darcy, eager for a confrontation.
"Yes," replied Paige, refusing to fight her. "Any more dissention in the ranks?" The girls shook their heads. Darcy glared. "Good. Let's try that again."
Chapter 5
"Girlfriend, huh?" asked Alex as they walked to the bus stop.
"Yeah. That just kind of came out. I like it, though. If you do, I mean."
"Of course I do. You wanna grab some dinner before work? My treat."
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Then, yes. That would be nice."
"Paige!" called out Hazel.
"What?" asked Paige, making quite a show of her annoyance.
"Can I talk to you? Alone?"
Paige huffed and turned to Alex.
"It's cool," said Alex. "I'll wait for you."
"What's going on?" asked Hazel as soon as she was far enough away.
"You can see perfectly well what's going on. We're a couple. Deal with it or leave me alone." Paige made to walk off.
"But what happened? I don't understand. You were just friends."
"Yeah, that's how a lot of relationships start. Do you have a point?"
Hazel hesitated. "Why didn't you tell me? You could have told me what was going on."
"Like you would have understood."
"I would have tried."
Paige could tell that Hazel was earnestly making an effort, but she still doubted her. "Why were you part of the whisper brigade today then? Why haven't you talked to me till now? Why didn't you eat lunch with us?"
"It's not like you were talking to me. And hello, you ate lunch with my ex-boyfriend and the girl who broke us up."
"Ok, valid points," said Paige, admitting defeat. She had nothing more to say, but Hazel seemed like she still had something to say. "My bus will be here soon, are we finished?"
"I want to know why."
"Why what?"
"Why Alex? Why a girl?"
"I don't know. It just…happened, ok?"
"You said she meant nothing to you and now suddenly she's your girlfriend?"
"Look, I didn't know what to say yesterday. I wasn't prepared. I was trying to protect my reputation. But she's more important than that. I just didn't understand before."
"Oh, and now, miraculously, you're a lesbian?"
"I'm not a lesbian. I meant that."
"Then how can you like her like that?"
Paige looked wistfully at Alex, who was doing her best to look unconcerned as she slouched against the bus stand and picked at her nails, refusing to look up. "What do you want me to say? That I like her so much I don't care if she's a boy or a girl? That I like her as much as I ever liked Spin or Matt? That I've never felt this way for a girl before?"
"She's not…she's not like us, though. She's a bully and she's unpopular and she's a loser." Paige clenched her jaws in preparation for an attack, but let Hazel continued. "Maybe I would understand if she was more like us, but she's not."
"You know what? We are the same, deep down. I've got a lot more in common with her than I ever thought. She could have just as easily been me and I her, had our situations been reversed."
"You're not a loser and you're not a freak."
"And neither is she. Look, my bus is coming."
"Paige!" called out Hazel as she walked off.
"What?" Paige asked, not stopping.
"The girls, they're going to try and oust you from the squad."
Paige stopped in her tracks. "What?"
"I just…I thought you should know." And with that, she gave up and walked away, leaving Paige with one more thing to bother her.
Chapter 6
She'd always hated Friday night at the movie theatre. At least, until she began to like Alex as a friend. It still sucked though, watching all those couples on their dates. But Alex had always been there to ease the pain – by making fun of them.
Now it almost seemed worse, to be at work together on a Friday night, instead of in the theatre, with all those couples, watching the newest release, holding hands in the dark, sharing a pop and a laugh.
"Hey, wanna make out under the counter?" asked Alex, interrupting her private pity party.
"Funny," said Paige, trying to look unamused.
Alex lifted her eyebrows suggestively. Paige rolled her eyes and tried to concentrate on wiping all the spilt popcorn and salt from the counter. "You can spend the night tonight," she blurted out nervously.
"Well, I suppose that beats making out at work."
"I didn't say anything would happen," she said, a bit harsher than she'd intended. "I mean, I promise I won't retreat to the couch or find some other way to avoid you."
"Man, you really know how to sweet talk a girl."
"I'm being serious."
"I know. Do you realize how cute you are when you're being serious?"
"I'm always cute. So…do you want to come over tonight or not?"
"Yeah, I'll come over. And I even promise I won't bite you or rape you or…" The realization of what she'd just said suddenly filled her face. She'd only heard the rumors – Paige had never mentioned it before – but judging from the look of horror on her face, Alex knew that it was true. "Shit. I'm sorry." She moved towards Paige, but the lobby was beginning to fill with customers again. "I…I'm sorry…" she said again before turning to help the growing line at the counter.
Alex felt wretched. It wasn't often that she was the one saying all the wrong things, and this was certainly one of the worst things she could have said. Paige was stunned, standing there, unsure of what hurt more – the reminder or the fact that it had come from Alex. Whatever it was, it was too much. She fled to the back room.
It was a while before Alex was able to follow after her. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm an ass."
"Yeah," agreed Paige, angrily wiping away a tear.
"I didn't think…I mean, I'd only heard the rumors last year, and I…I didn't know for sure. And well, I just didn't think about it. Are you going to be ok?" she asked nervously; extending sympathy, even to those she cared about, was not her forte.
"Yeah."
"I guess I won't be coming over tonight after all."
"Why? Because you accidentally referred to something you didn't even know for sure had actually happened? I'm not mad, ok? Just a bit uneasy," she said, trying to play down her discomfort.
"I made you cry," said Alex, mentally kicking herself.
"Only a few tears."
"Your eyes are red and your face is all blotchy."
"Thanks for pointing that out."
"You don't have to pretend like you don't hate me."
"Don't be so melodramatic." Paige reached out and touched her lightly on the arm. "But do come home with me tonight."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I promise I won't lay a hand on you," said Alex, still feeling guilty.
"You don't have to promise that. I trust you." She traced circles on Alex's arm, waiting for her to loosen up before pulling her closer.
Alex cautiously drew nearer, still not feeling like she deserved so much as a kiss, but ultimately unable to resist. Their visors clicked against each other and Paige let out a giggle as their lips met, but she quit laughing when their tongues met. This was new…and it was nice. Very nice. She was still pulling Alex towards her, though she no longer realized it. Their bodies pressed together, harder and with more urgency. Hands wandered. Alex's lips began a trek to Paige's neck. Paige gasped and lifted her head towards the ceiling.
And then came a voice from the other side of the door. "Does anyone work here?"
"Damn customers," whispered Alex, out of breath. She leaned against Paige for a second, before jumping back into her roll as movie condiments girl. She straightened her visor and winked at Paige before leaving.
"Sorry, sir," Paige heard her say. "There was a problem with one of the carbonation tanks. What can I get you?"
Paige ventured out again, but only after she no longer felt flushed and the lobby was full of needy customers. Alex seemed normal again, and she gave her a shy smile before plastering on a larger one for the customers.