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We're All Looking for Something

Summary:

Post ME-3 events

Shepherd sacrificed herself for the galaxy, creating a synthesis between organic and inorganic life and re-shaping the reality of every being in an instant. Whatever she did with the Crucible, the results of the Reaper's attack on Earth changed everything.
But those who were close to her - the supposed 'cult of Shepherd' - are changed more than they want to acknowledge. Even as they try to move on with their lives, as the galaxy tries to rebuild, a secret is on the brink of exposure. And it could jeopardize everything.

Chapter 1: Launch Vector (part 1)

Summary:

Prologue

2189
Three years since the Reapers were defeated
Three years since Shepherd died

Things on the Normandy haven't changed all that much... have they?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

COMMAND LINE: // SYSTEM STATUS ... green light
// EXPAND ... all systems operating at peak efficiency. no errors reported.
// DETAIL ... query runtime 1.37ms
// PERSONNEL STATUS ... all crew accounted for. no medical concerns reported. biometrics indicate all personnel performing at optimal efficiency.

The Normandy remained in geosynchronous orbit over Earth, several miles above the atmosphere as the radio channels pinged connections and data packets flowed to and from System Alliance HQ below. There was an alert, a minor runtime error related to one of the receiving antenna; EDI transferred the event to a terminal and turned her artificial eyes towards her screen. She opened the report and read the details once, twice, three times in a single human heartbeat - measured against her companion in his seat and chattering away - processing the information and determining her reaction in another instant. She initiated a back-trace and verified the route, origin and even the source terminal the message had been trasmit from.

"While I do not disagree that Specialist Traynor would look very attractive in any of the bikinis modeled in your calendar, Jeff, I do not believe she would appreciate knowing you were thinking about her in such outfits." She saw him turn sharply in his seat, holding up a hand defensively.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey now I didn't say that-" Joker caught the look on her synthetic face, how she glanced slyly at him from her seat and the smug little grin that the AI liked to use when she wanted him to know that she knew she'd gotten the upper hand in one of his jokes.

"Yes, you did," she answered, pleased to see the recognition on his own face as she tapped another connection on her terminal. "Captain?"

"Yeah, EDI?" He answered immediately but he sounded tired, exhausted.

She ran a quick query on the Captain's biometrics again; he was on the starboard observation deck, heartbeat was normal, breathing steady, endorphine levels were low and adrenal response elevated. She catalogued the result, compared it to his readings over the last 24 hours, the last week average, then the month, then the year. The conclusion was not promising but was certainly undeniable. She logged the information and answered. "There is a matter that I believe requires your attention, please report to the bridge."

"On my way." The comms disconnected.

"What the hell, EDI?" Joker complained. "I was just joking."

"Yes, I know. I have already archived the media in question for you," she flashed him a bright smile and he grinned back when he realized the jest.

"Ah, you're the best."

"I know," she pinged the captain's data, he was on the main deck and approaching. She triggered the door to open as he got closer and turned to greet him.

Captain Kaidan Alenko entered and put his hands behind his back, he was always one to jump straight to business. She appreciated that about him. "Alright, EDI, what've you got?"

"Captain," Joker greeted him and turned back to his own console.

"Unknown," she announced and brought the runtime report to the forefront on her screen for him to review. "This message was sent on an encrypted channel, I was able to decrypt it-"

"Of course you were," Kaidan gave her a lopsided grin, her body was looking at the console but the Normandy's bridge cam caught the expression. She compared it to other smiles, this expression was not mirrored in his posture or voice, the lines around his eyes did not deepen. Conclusion? Fake smile, polite, professional. The captain was humoring her.

"Yes, I was," her body turned to look up at him from the chair. "However, it required Spectre access."

There, human reaction, she recorded it and compared his reflexive step back, the way his face went slack then taut with sudden tension, his eyes darted to the wide windows that surrounded the pilot's chair and gave Joker a pristine field of vision. She ran interactive algorithyms and updated her tonal settings in preparation. Jeff was looking at her as well, eyes wide - an expression she recognized as his attempt to ask her without words 'what are you doing?' She ignored him for a moment.

"Uh, run that by me one more time, would you?" Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, an old habit catalogued and attributed to his L2 implant causing irritation. Perhaps the dark, sunken eyes were more than just a physical indicator of exhaustion; she sent a query to the System Alliance medical database.

"Of course, Captain," EDI drew up several other readouts as she answered. "The transmission originated on the Citadel within C-SEC offices and I have verified the authenticity of the security codes. This was issued to you directly, Captain, and marked high priority. Given the contents, I felt it necessary to bring this to your attention with all urgency."

Kaidan eyed the report she had left in the corner of the screen for him, "Alright, why is C-SEC sending me Spectre data?"

"They are not," she clarified and indicated the transmission logs, "this message was routed from C-SEC to you, but it was issued originally on Palaven within the High Command."

The AI paused, another antenna was reporting another error, she flagged the alert and brought its predecessor up on the screen and the captain sucked in a breath as he read the words she had already logged as she in turn began to run another trace on this new signal.

[MESSAGE REDIRECT // PRIORITY : URGENT // ENCRYPTION : HIGHLY SECURE]
[SOURCE] CITADEL SECURITY
[SERVER ROUTE] PALAVEN COMMAND // CITADEL SECURITY
[RECIPIENT] CPTN. K. ALENKO // S.A. ALLIANCE SHIP NORMANDY SV2
[SENDER] CITADEL SECURITY, CMDR. A. BAILEY
[TIMESTAMP] 04:12:37 - 2189:159

Alenko, this came across my desk last night. You two used to serve together, I figured you'd want to know.
- Bailey

>> [BEGIN TRANSMISSION // PRIORITY : URGENT]
>> [SOURCE] PALAVEN COMMAND HEADQUARTERS
>> [SERVER ROUTE] PALAVEN COMMAND // CITADEL SECURITY
>> [RECIPIENT] CITADEL COUNCIL, SPECTRE COMMAND
>> [SENDER] OFFICE OF THE PRIMARCH
>> [TIMESTAMP] 21:22:07 - 2189:158
>> 
>> URGENT SECURITY NOTICE
>> Office of Primarch Adrien Victus
>> 
>> Palaven security has issued a high-risk alert to all Meritocracy officials following the assassination of General Garrus Vakarian leaving his office this evening.
>> Investigation is ongoing, preliminary review of scene and security footage indicate the General arranged for a private car which was shot down using a targeted surface-to-air missile system requiring laser lock to engage.
>> No suspect identified. No motive.
>> All Meritocracy officials are instructed to operate under Threat Condition: Hightened until further instruction.

[END MESSAGE]

Kaidan stared at her screen for a long time, EDI recorded his reaction taking 7.1 seconds - 3.4 seconds longer than his average - then he turned to look at her fully. Joker was shooting furtive glances at both of them, she noted his curiousity and filed a reminder to give him explanation when the captain was no longer present.

"EDI, are you sure?" He watched as her hands flew over the controls.

"The signal is verified, Captain, I have confirmed the Relay path used to transmit this signal." She turned to look up at him from her chair, "There is another transmission incoming."

"Let's see it."

"I have routed the connection to the QEC room for you," she replied. "I believe the Council would like to speak to you."

Kaidan sighed and turned to go, "Thanks EDI. And Joker?"

"Aye captain?" The pilot looked over his shoulder, ready for the captain's orders.

"Give me a pre-flight run down, I want to be ready in under half an hour." Then he marched quickly towards the war room.

"Yes sir!" Jeff's hands flew over his controls, pulling up systems and punching in commands to prep each for launch.

EDI triggered the bridge door to close behind the commanding officer and then allowed 2.5 seconds to pass before she answered the question she knew her pilot would ask first, "There was an attack on Palaven. It's Garrus. And the news is bad."

"Shit."

"Agreed. I will begin refreshing my combat and defense suites."

~~~

"We understand you were friends with the General, Captain," the Matriarch spoke softly, her voice was gentle - EDI recognized the tone as one many humans complained of being condescending. As though she was speaking to a child or invalid, but the Asari live long lives and her biometric reports indicated the captain was not being his most rational.

He ran a hand through his hair and immediately it settled into a half-mussed state that would take time and a mirror to correct. "I appreciate your consideration, Councilor. And on that note, I'd like approval to go to Palaven. Help if I can."

The Matriach frowned and remained silent but the Turian councilor shifted and raised a hand, "I am not sure that is advisable, Captain. This matter is well within the scope of Palaven's security forces and we will find the culprit of this attack."

"Yes sir, I don't doubt that sir," Kaidan started, but he was cut off.

"Then you should respect and recognize the capability of your Turian counterparts and let them complete their duties without interference." the Dalatress hadn't let up an inch on the rules or scope of his capacities as Spectre since the war had ended. Three years had doubled her lifetime already, wasn't that something? Hadn't his service earned him even a shadow of the trust and faith her crew showed in her? She logged how the captain shifted his stance, irritation evident in the tension of his posture and his lips pressed into a thin line of clear displeasure.

Her sensors noted when he ground his teeth but he did not interrupt or argue as the signals began to fade until only the Matriach remained. She studied him for a long time, and then offered a small smile when she finally addressed him again. "I am sure that there is a great deal you wish to do, but investigating such an attack on a private citizen is not in the purview of the Spectres. However, I understand that the Normandy was slated for several weeks of shore leave; it has also recently been brought to my attention that the Geth are assisting the Quarian fleet with a large staging-area near Palaven to rebuild the Turian defense grid and shipyards."

"Is that so?" Finally, Kaidan grinned as he was handed the loophole he wanted and EDI sent a low-level alert to all crew to prepare for new orders in anticipation. "Well, maybe we should take advantage of their expertise."

"A commendable idea, Captain."

The hologram flickered out half a heartbeat after her smile came through and Kaidan stared at the empty space for a moment, then he turned his head slightly towards the internal comms unit, "You get that Joker?"

"Acknowledged, charting the flight to Palaven now."

EDI watched her pilot punch up a new set of systems and she ran a diagnostic on the engine core temperature, fuel dispersal system and then flashed the software for the stealth systems as well, anticipating Jeff's proclivity to, as the humans said it, 'cut things a bit too close'. She sent an update through the sensor array and smiled slightly, turning to her companion. "We are at full efficiency, all systems are in the green and the crew have reported to their posts."

"Let me know when we get there." The captain answered and the line disconnected.

She pinged his data, followed as he walked back to the lift and took it up to the Captain's cabin; she sent a command to the room's lights to lower the illumination so it would be more comfortable if he had a headache. She lowered the temperature in the room by two degrees Celsius and queued the shower to prioritize delivery of hot water. She knew that Kaidan loved and hated the cabin; the only changes he'd allowed made during his tenure was to add a few more specimens to the aquarium and he'd hung a copy of the photo from the party on the Citadel over the desk and told everyone it was to keep her memory. He'd given strict orders after the war that nothing else should be touched or even moved, but the familiarity did not lessen the evident sorrow stepping into this empty room always brought him.

The door opened and he stepped in, shoulders drooping as he touched the tags in their frame on the desk and sighed. "Hey there, Shep. Got some bad news but... damn, I guess I hope you're meeting him for a drink right now. Or, I don't know, target practice. You two were always talking target practice."

EDI ran another ping on his biometrics and then compared it to her known readings; this was a familiar state of being for him and she logged a query for the medical team later - How long is too long for a human to grieve? - without any judgement or disapproval. She had studied the crew since activation and if he'd felt jealous of Garrus ever, seeing how the Turian had cut everyone off and thrown himself into rebuilding his world and his people's way of life had been an evident reminder to the captain that they were both soldiers mourning the same woman. He had even offered Garrus a spot on the Normandy, and unlike the humans who hadn't been surprised by the refusal when it came, EDI had spent many hours seeking insight and understanding from her crew.

Jeff had only been able to answer some of her questions and had left her with several more she was still unable to fully answer. Questions such as how he could expect anyone to walk around this ship and not be shaken by her first commander's ghost?

After all, the Normandy might be under his command, but the ship was not his - not truly. But EDI respected and had even come to consider it endearing that he was determined to give it his best go to keep the ship not just operating efficiently but for her crew to set a standard for every ship in the fleet. She understood that he was compelled by more than duty or the expectations of his superiors to keep the ship and crew alive and well. Kaidan had to, it was how he kept her memory alive.

He loved her too much to do anything else.

Notes:

I will readily admit I have hit a small snag with some writer's block so I decided to try a writing exercise I used to do : write about the same event from multiple perspectives.

So here is Perspective #1 - EDI.