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Whatever Is Left Of My Life

Summary:

NEMESIS has been defeated, and the clanlands are approaching some semblance of a new normal.

GAIA is fully operational, and Kotallo is working with Aloy and the rest of his friends to rebuild what was lost, and maybe create something new in the process.

On one of his visits to the Bulwark, he learns that he fathered a child before he left to become a Marshal, and must once again reevaluate his mission.

Chapter 1: Shakeup

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

This idleness was going to kill him, Kotallo decided.

 

In fairness, perhaps idleness wasn’t the right word. It had been a chaotic three months since the defeat of NEMESIS; clan meetings, updates to GAIA’s operations, envoys to other tribes, new construction and infrastructure, coaching tribal leaders on the use of Focuses. Since Beta’s signal repeaters had been put in place, it seemed like he’d spoken as much with Sun-King Avad in the past few weeks as he had his own chief.

 

Not to mention serving as a Chaplain in all but name to the Sky Clan until its new Commander was established. Tekotteh had begrudgingly agreed to join with the rest of the Tenakth against NEMESIS — if only because he didn’t want to be humiliated by Aloy again. Of course, that didn’t stop him from abandoning his post in the final battle, only to be flattened by a Specter almost immediately.

 

Well. Once a coward, always a coward, he supposed.

 

Nevertheless, Ikkotah was proving to be a remarkable replacement. He was even-tempered and kind, with a keen eye for strategy. His ability to take constructive criticism alone put him far and above his predecessor in Kotallo’s mind. Maybe now, others would take the Sky Clan, and the rest of the Tenakth, seriously again.

 

Now, as he trekked down from Stone Crest with Aloy as he had over two years ago, Kotallo pondered his new lot in life. After swiftly becoming the last surviving Marshal (and a maimed one at that), then requiring an outlander’s help to bring his old Commander to heel, then learning from that outlander that the fate of his world hung in the balance as a result of ancient forces he’d never known of, let alone understood…

 

Nowadays, his life seemed almost quiet by comparison. Almost.

 

“Well, this trail certainly brings back memories.”

 

Kotallo smirked. “I was just thinking the same. Remind me again why we didn’t bring the Sunwings this time?”

 

“That storm hanging over Salt Bite? They wouldn’t have enough power stored for the journey back to the Base.”

 

“Hm. No Chargers either?”

 

“Come on, taking the scenic route won’t kill you. Both your legs still work fine.”

 

Kotallo snorted. Not many people he knew had Aloy’s unique way of making barbed speech still sound friendly.

 

The Bulwark itself had been patched up well since the two of them blasted through it those years prior. While lifting all of the rubble back into its original place was out of the question, the clan had the idea of carving a switchback path into what remained, creating an easier ascent for wounded hunting parties and supply convoys pulled by overridden machines.

 

It was an update on such convoys and their contents that brought them to the Bulwark today. Much of the information exchanged could likely have come via Focus, but Ikkotah preferred speaking face-to-face whenever possible. Something about “greater clarity when meeting your people’s eyes”. A reasonable opinion, even if Kotallo didn’t fully agree. He enjoyed the greater opportunities to come back to his old homeland regardless.

 

When they finally arrived within the walls of the settlement, Aloy nudged Kotallo. “Okay, I’m going to go offload some of this stuff while you talk with Ikkotah,” she motioned to her travel bag overflowing with machine parts and other salvage. “If you get done before me, go ahead and get food and I’ll meet you back here.”

 

Kotallo nodded and went on his way.

 

*

 

“… so, really, it would make the most sense to establish a trade route to Plainsong via the High Turning.”

 

Kotallo rubbed his eyes. He understood that this was all terribly vital information that would only make the clans more efficient and more able to cooperate with other tribes. His time as a Marshal made him recognize and appreciate such things. This meeting would, in the long run, make his and the other Marshals’ jobs that much easier, not to mention Aloy and the rest of their team. 

 

He only wished it weren’t quite so dull. 

 

Ikkotah nodded, satisfied with the other council member’s report. Kotallo probably should have gotten her name. “Excellent. We’ll put that in the summary for Hekarro to review. Final say will have to come from him and the Utaru Chorus. Kotallo, what’s the latest update on Embassy preparations?”

 

“The Desert Clan has already submitted their list of offerings, the Lowlands will have theirs ready within the next week. Petra Ealdorwoman of Chainscrape has reported that their construction projects will be wrapping up by the time the Embassy is scheduled, so there shouldn’t be any conflicts there. Also, the Carjan priest that will be presiding over the Embassies going forward will be more … agreeable, than the last. Aloy has worked with Namman on a handful of occasions. She speaks highly of him. ‘The Sun’s light brightens all lands and all peoples,’ he says.”

 

“Good. Irid was civil enough, but he gives the distinct impression that he resents straying too far from his Sundom.”

 

To be fair, Kotallo thought to himself, the last delegation he joined was to the Nora tribe at the time of Aloy’s Proving ceremony. And the Embassy before his first was no less violent, either. He didn’t like the man, but he certainly didn’t blame him.

 

The meeting continued as such for another hour or so until Ikkotah finally showed mercy enough to dismiss everyone for a meal. Kotallo couldn’t resist lingering in the doorway after the others left.

 

“How have you been handling … all of this?”

 

Ikkotah sighed through a smile. “I won’t lie, this has been some of the hardest work I’ve ever done. I was hesitant when you and Aloy presented me with this opportunity. But I can say that it’s been fulfilling in its way. I’m able to fight for my people in a different form, one that may even last after I’m gone.” He reached up to tap his temple. “And this gift from the Old Ones has opened my eyes to things I never would have imagined. All things said, I’m glad to be here.”

 

“We’re proud to have you. You’ve been a Commander worthy of the respect you’ve been given. Better than Tekotteh ever was, even in his good years.” They both chuckled, but Kotallo met his gaze. “Chekattah would be proud.”

 

Ikkotah’s smile faltered, turning away to regain his composure. Kotallo said nothing. “Thank you, my friend. He would - he would be proud of you as well, leading the Marshals as you have been. Perhaps the both of us will leave something of a legacy for our people.”

 

“I don’t know, I think I’d make a hell of a Chaplain, especially with this Focus.”

 

Ikkotah thumped Kotallo’s chest plate. “Ass. I’m trying to be sincere here.”

 

“No, I know. I know. Thank you. And I see what you’re saying.” He looked out over his former home, at the clan he’d once left in anguish. A tribe he thought he would die protecting. Almost had, several times over. Now, with ancient knowledge and new alliances, his people were flourishing in a way he’d never dreamed was possible. Once merely surviving, now thriving and expanding.

 

Legacy, huh? Might not be so bad.

 

*

 

Aloy caught up with him about halfway through his meal.

 

“Have time to help me with a quick errand?” Kotallo motioned for her to continue. “The inker told me her daughter went out to hunt at midmorning and hasn’t come back yet. She didn’t sound incredibly worried, but the girl is still fairly young, so she asked if someone could check on her and bring her back to the settlement.”

 

He frowned as he swallowed his mouthful. “Leaving a child unattended outside the wall seems more Tekotteh’s style than Ikkotah's.”

 

“Malikka’s older than I was when Rost started training me for the Proving. Her mother said she’s been getting better at hunting animals, and she knows some herbs and a few general survival skills, but she’s never taken down a machine before, even with help. She just asked for someone to keep an eye out, make sure she hasn’t gotten into too much trouble.”

 

Kotallo nodded. True, HEPHAESTUS was under control, so the Derangement was no longer a concern, but a machine could still cause serious damage to even a full-grown hunter if not careful.

 

“I’ll accompany you when we finish eating.”

 

“What? You’ve only got one bite left, let’s go.”

 

“When we finish eating.” Kotallo gestured to Aloy’s empty arms. “You haven’t had anything since this morning. Go get some mutton.”

 

“I can eat after we get the girl back to her mother.”

 

“We don’t know how long we’ll be out. You need sustenance. Serivva will be upset.”

 

She rolled her eyes fondly. “Well, I don’t want the cook mad at me. Fine, one plate. Then we’re going.”

 

*

 

“Are you staying in the area for a while, or do you want to come back to the Base with me?”

 

Kotallo thought for a bit. “I’ll come back with you. There’s nothing else in the area that needs my attention after this. What assignments do we have waiting for us at the Base?”

 

“Well, Beta will probably have some updates for us about expanding the Focus network. We’re maintaining a clear signal from the Base to Meridian, but keeping them linked the whole way through to Thornmarsh has been giving her trouble. After that, maybe we could stop by Plainsong, I want to see how Zo and the baby are doing. Ah, shit, Morlund and Abadund have been troubleshooting some projects they said they wanted my input on, so it would probably make sense to go there first.”

 

 “Fair enough. We’ll loop around the mountain to Hidden Ember, then continue onward to the others. How has Erend been, by the way?”

 

Kotallo pointedly did not say anything about how Aloy’s face lit up like her hair. “Good. He’s still helping to expand Old Vegas for the newcomers. I’m -- we’re … Erend’s good.”

 

He smiled. “Good. I’m glad for both of you.”

 

Aloy looked at him like she was debating whether or not to punch him, but decided on a nod. “I don’t know how to be -- this is still pretty new for me. But I want …” She huffed.

 

Kotallo nodded. From what little he knew of her youth, he was sure that relationships in any form were uncharted territory. Despite her surefootedness in all other areas of her life, this was one place she was more hesitant.

 

Of course, that didn’t stop Erend from doting on her as much as he was able since she approached him. He kept up contact with her via Focus almost daily, and spent nearly every moment by her side when they were in the same settlement.

 

It was … sweet. Which he would not be telling Aloy. She’d probably punch him.

 

“I understand. It’s new, and it can be hard, being away. Perhaps if I’d had a Focus, my early days as a Marshal might not have been so solitary.”

 

Aloy frowned, now successfully distracted from her frustration. “Wait, I thought Hekarro didn’t allow Marshals to have relationships.”

 

“He didn’t outlaw them, necessarily, but he wanted us to remain impartial. That can be difficult for someone whose heart remains with their home clan.”

 

“Hmm. Is that why you’re not with anyone?”

 

Kotallo gave it some thought. “It’s part of it, I’m sure. After my Kulrut, I was mourning the loss of my place in my clan, and so I threw myself fully into the requirements of being a Marshal over the next five years. Then Regalla attacked the embassy, and I mourned the loss of my comrades and my arm. Then I met you and the rest of the team, and I’ve just … been busy.” He didn’t regret any of it, of course, and he knew Aloy understood. While the fate of the world hung in the balance, romance didn’t seem like a priority.

 

Aloy balked and turned back to him. “Wait, five years? You were a Marshal for five years before we met?”

 

“You sound surprised. You already knew I was older than you. The Battle of the Daunt was almost ten years ago, and I was a grown man then.”

 

“Still. That seems like a long time to go without being with someone. If you’re not a tribal outcast, anyway.”

 

Kotallo shrugged. “Some people go their entire lives without having a mate. They devote their lives to their work and their tribe. That is what they choose. I’m … not like that, necessarily. I’ve had … dalliances, I suppose, since then.” He ignored the way Aloy chuckled as she mouthed ‘dalliances’ back at him, not unkindly. “But I won’t say I don’t miss the companionship.”

 

“Damn.” Aloy shook her head, kicking a loose rock on the path. It skittered down the bank into the river. “Well, maybe when things calm down with GAIA and everything, you can, I don’t know, start looking again? If you want.”

 

 “Maybe. I can’t see anyone being more important to me than my friends, and the work I’m doing with you all now that GAIA is back to her former glory. But I’ll think about it.”

 

Aloy smiled and patted his shoulder. “Okay, we’ve got a little more ground to cover. Let’s split up and see if we can’t find this kid.”

 

*

“I checked with a scout at Bonewhite Tear, they haven’t seen her.”

 

The former rebel outpost had been turned into another of Beta’s signal repeater points, as well as functioning as a general supply restock and clan encampment. It was one of the westernmost access points for GAIA until Landfall. Alva and the rest of the Quen that stayed behind were working to make a repeater powerful enough to reach all the way across the sea. It likely wouldn’t be ready for another year at least, so Alva had planned to be stationed in Landfall until that time.

 

Kotallo missed Alva. He decided to follow up with her when they returned to the Base.

 

“If they haven’t seen her, then she’s somewhere in between. Let’s try the clearing across the river.”

 

They scanned a few hundred more paces along the banks. After several minutes, Kotallo was ready to suggest moving to a different area, when he caught a small movement about a hundred paces forward. He enabled his Focus to get a closer look. Sure enough, a small blue outline appeared at the edge of a patch of tall grass. He could also spot the outline of a makeshift wooden helmet hanging askew on her head. He motioned for Aloy to follow his line of sight. She turned on her own Focus, then nodded.

 

“Not a bad hunting spot she’s picked out. At least there’s not a Scorcher in it anymore.”

 

Ah yes, Kotallo remembered. This was where he first tested his metal arm. His prey that day was formidable for sure. The fact that this young girl now stood where that great beast once resided was … uncomfortable, to say the least.

 

“There you are!” Aloy called to the child.

 

She turned to face them, bow drawn. Aloy and Kotallo raised their hands.

 

“You’re Malikka? Your mother’s been wondering where you were.”

 

“I’m not a baby. I can survive in the wilds for a few hours.” Blunt, but not disrespectful, Kotallo thought. Most Tenakth children spoke to their elders this way; no sense in the flowery deference of a Carja when everyone would be fighting in the same formation eventually.

 

Whatever the Nora custom was, Aloy seemed to take no offense. “I’m sure you can. We were just passing through and your mother told us you’d been out longer than usual. We just wanted to make sure machines hadn’t given you any trouble.”

 

“I’m just hunting some rabbits.” The helmet covered her entire head, giving her voice a subtle echo. “And I haven’t seen any machines all day, ‘specially not one big enough for the Champion and a Marshal to fight.”

 

Kotallo snorted, dodging an elbow from Aloy. “Be that as it may, the sun will be setting soon. Might as well take what quarry you have and return.”

 

Malikka spun to look at the sun dipping below the peaks, as if the time hadn’t occurred to her. That will be another thing to discuss with her mother, or squad leader, or both.

 

The girl looked back at them for a long moment, then sighed. “Okay, let me get my stuff and I’ll come back with you.” Kotallo watched as she pulled off her helmet to reveal —

 

His own face.

Notes:

This is the first fic I've written since my Twilight Saga glory days so I'm honestly proud of myself for getting this far.

I'm in school currently so writing/posting WILL be sporadic. I'll try my best.

(Bonus points for anyone who figures out where I got my chapter titles).

Thanks to @ThreeGlinthawksInATrenchcoat and @ariseis for beta-ing <3