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Feelings were too complicated to explain, that's always been the case. Because the real reason for the downfall was all his fault, all because he couldn't handle his own feelings. Sure, he got jealous that was his reasoning for everything, so jealous that he destroyed the world. Because what he believed was unrequited and not a single soul he would tell on his own.
Sure Mickey, Axel, and Naminé found out based on his actions towards Sora.
And Roxas and DiZ realized as well from his determination to save Sora.
But Roxas was gone for now— Naminé too. DiZ—well Ansem hasn't been seen, and Axel nor Mickey would say anything.
So for the first time he stared at Sora and sighed. Riku wishes for his happiness above everything else.
He leaned against the tree and shook his head. He was going to tell Kairi, she deserves to know everything and the reason he caused everyone harm.
“Kairi.” He said one day, “I'm gay.”
Kairi blinked, not saying a word. She just paused and nodded as if it wasn't a big deal. “Okay?”
“Okay? That's it?” He was bewildered at how calmly she took the news, “but that's why I've done everything until now and it wasn't fair to you or everyone here.” Riku looks down, “I won't get in the way anymore. I know how he feels about you, it's clearly obvious.”
“What?” Kairi looked shocked. “I don't…”
“I've been in love with Sora since the two of us were kids, well I didn't realize exactly what it was until later but that's the truth. And I was jealous.” Riku finally admitted. He closed his eyes, avoiding Kairi. “I was jealous of you and I was jealous how close you two were that I brought the islands to darkness. And then I was jealous of how he spent time with everyone else just messing around.”
Riku just sighed as he stared at his fist that was curled up.
“I know. I've known for awhile.” Kairi only smiled to herself, humming.
“What?” Riku staggered, “Who… Who told you? I thought Mickey said he wouldn't tell—”
Kairi laughed and shook her head, “No one, you're quite obvious. I mean everyone can tell you're in love with him.”
Riku panicked, “I'm obvious? Who all knows? Does Sora?”
Kairi dead panned. Sora may be oblivious , but Riku also has no idea that Sora unknowingly felt that way.
She smiled, “Don't worry, your secret is safe. Sora couldn't figure it out, he doesn't even think being gay is an option.”
Riku looked down, “I'm sorry though. For everything with the darkness and for loving him. Are you mad?”
Kairi shit her eyes, “Don't apologize. You can't help who you love and it doesn't bother me cause I don't love Sora anymore… well I don't think I ever had. I thought I did but things changed.”
“I'm sorry it's because of me that things are awkward between you two?” Riku looked down at his hands again.
“No, I'm gay too.”
This time Riku widened his eyes, “What?!”
“You know that girl from Twilight Town, Olette.” Kairi nodded her head, “Yeah…”
“But Sora—” Kairi still shook her head.
“He doesn't love me, Riku. Maybe you truly have been the one who has been oblivious.” Kairi put a hand over his shoulder, “He's always thinking about you and wanting to be with you. It's always Riku.. Riku.. Riku.. Riku.” She laughed.
Riku stared down and looked at himself, “No way…”
And he couldn't believe it.
That wasn't possible, was it?