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Alastor would very much like to enjoy his breakfast in peace, but it's admittedly difficult with Niffty glued to her screen. Clutching one fork in-hand, he attempts to reach his arm over the small cyclops woman's head to stab into his extra bloody steak.
"Okay, so when Niffty sits on Smile's lap, it's fine? But when I do it, somehow I'm committing a major crime!?" Angel grumbles, offense painted on his features as he stares at the duo from across the table.
Raising one brow, Vaggie scoffs, "Last I remember, you tried giving him a lap dance."
"Look, I wasn't going to charge him for it! Not like he'd be able to afford me otherwise--"
A cacophonic shriek like a needles scratching a record causes Angel to pause mid-sentence, eyes wide as he snaps his head towards Alastor. Low and behold, the radio demon is smiling as he always does. Though, there's a manic edge to it that causes Angel to latch his arms around Husk--
Who looks quite miffed, but otherwise says absolutely nothing.
Throughout the entire exchange, Niffty remains oblivious, singular eye glued to her phone screen--smile vicious enough to rival even Alastor's. A faint chuckle escapes her lips as she brings the phone closer to her face--so close that it almost seems like she's uh, about to take a bite out of her phone? But then she laughs again, practically salivating as if an entire deer carcass was presented to her.
Briefly, Niffty's eye flickers over to Alastor's face. She states up at him unblinkingly, smile never wavering before turning back to her phone.
"Maybe we can save this chat for another time?" Charlie hastily chimes in, clasping her hands together. Niffty barely acknowledges Charlie, not offering anything aside from a noncommital shrug.
"Niffty, darling, I can tell how positively enraptured you are by your...small mechanial picture box, but back in my day, we'd set aside any personal business when seated together with our pals for a meal."
From the corner of his eye, Alastor catches Angel silently repeating, "Back in my day...?"
With a quick snap of his fingers, tendrils emerge from the shadowy recesses of the kitchen and latch around the legs of Angel's chair--only for him to abruptly tumble onto the floor.
"Alastor, what the actual fuck!!?"
However, Alastor pays them no mind, instead regarding Niffty with an expression resembling distrust.
The soft light radiating from the phone's screen casts Niffty's features in a faint glow as she cackles every so often--Laughter carefully treading the line between delight and murderous intent. Though, considering this is hell and all, they're pretty much the same thing.
So entranced that she is by her phone, Niffty pays no mind to Alastor's demeanor before he snatches her phone out of her hands.
Tilting his head, Alastor narrows his eyes as he stares at the little picture box that enraptured Niffty. Ah, it appears she was reading literature. As much as he utterly despises these loathsome contraptions, he can't fault the youth for taking the time to read for once in their miserable excuse of an afterlife.
Whether it's good literature or not remains to be seen.
Pleased with this discovery, Alastor's about to return the phone to Niffty's outstretched hands when he catches his name mentioned in the text. Odd...but Alastor's not a name that's totally unheard of.
Any demon who uses his name would be a damned fool, but it's possible Niffty acquired a book from the living world. But wait--
Alastor blinks, completely bewildered as he reads through the short excerpt again.
"...Pardon my coarse language, but why am I calling Vox 'daddy' in this...serial web-novel......? As far as I'm aware, I look nothing alike to that horrid mistake of an electronic contraption."
"It's fanfiction!! And gimme, gimme!!!" Niffty pouts, making grabbing motions as she attempts to retrieve her phone from Alastor's grasp. But alas, her efforts are for naught, even as she stands at her full height. "I've been waiting ages for a new update--And guess what!? My favorite bitch on this hellsite delivered!"
"Pardon?" A record scratch punctuates Alastor's singular question. Angel looks around, mystified as he attempts to locate the origins of the mysterious sound.
"Aren't any of you wondering how he always does that!?" Angel muses, gestuculating wildly towards the radio demon with all four of his hands. "...As if the strawberry pimp wasn't creepy enough."
"That would imply we actually gave a shit," Vaggie crosses her arms, pointedly glaring at Angel.
Placing a hand over her girlfriend's shoulder, Charlie sweetly smiles. "Aw, it's not so bad. I'd say it's charming--really livens the place, don't you think-so, Vaggie?"
"I'm not so sure about that...oh no, not the puppy dog eyes......" Vaggie whines, hiding her flustered face behind her hands.
"Man, you're totally whipped," Angel cackles, to-which Husk responds by taking a swig from a glass bottle that is suspiciously labeled, "NOT BOOZE."
Niffty's shrill voice catches them all off-guard as she screams, "YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT FANFICTION!!?"
Flabberghasted, Alastor readjusts his monocle as he asks, "I beg your pardon?"
Leaning against Husk, Angel deadpans, "To be fair, he's like five-hundred years old."
"Didn't you two live around the same time period?" Vaggie retorts, consolingly patting Charlie on the back--the latter of which appears to be cycling through the five stages of grief.
Eyes downcast, the princess murmurs something that vaguely sounds like, "Does Angel think I'm old...?"
"Fanfiction, Alastor!! Focus!! I've been getting my fix on Hellfics!! It's THE place to read about all of my OTPs!" Niffty prattles on, swinging her legs back and forth, still sitting on Alastor's lap. "I'm somewhat of a consieur, you could say. I even have a decent following on Hellfics and Voxtagram--"
"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, NIFFTY! DON'T SHOW HIM YOUR FANFICS!"
"You've read her works, Whiskers?" Angel drawls.
"First of all, never call me that again. And secondly, you do NOT want to know...I have seen things, very many things...do you know she writes about all of us?" Husk visibly shudders, fur bristling as he rests his head against the kitchen table. "They're all..." He sighs, long and suffering. "Explicit--"
"OKAY!! Charlie and I are going now!" Vaggie exclaims, covering Charlie's ears as she drags them both out of the kitchen Charlie awkwardly waves, casting a worried glance at Niffty before Vaggie loudly slams the door shut behind them.
"...And tell me more about this fan-fiction," Alastor articulates, perplexed as Niffty scrolls through a very, very long list of titles on her phone. "But more importantly, darling, why are you reading on such an infernal contraption when paper is a dime a dozen?"
Stars dance around in Niffty's eye as she gleefully grins at Alastor. "I thought this day would never come! Allow me to introduce you to the wonderful world of fandoms!"
Alastor makes a mental note to destroy all 'internet phones' on his next outing, but the last thing he'd ever do is break a lady's cell phone right in-front of her.
"Husk refuses to be writing partners with me, Angel's the type to skip through all of the tension to get to the good stuff, and I haven't gotten around to asking Charlie and Vaggie yet," Niffty says without missing a beat. "But you're smart and old-timey! I bet you'd love to join my bookclub!"
"Oh, that is a lovely idea, my dear. You are always chock full of surprises. How quaint, how positively delightful. I'd be honored to partake in your reading activities--"
"Are you really hiding a tail underneath that coat?" Angel leers, holding up his own phone. "Just followed dollface on here, and let me just say Niffty wasn't kidding! You've been holding out on us this whole time, sweetheart," Angel enthusiastically praises Niffty. "If you ever want to collab, make a video or something, I'm your guy."
"You really mean it!?" Niffty grins, teeth as sharp as knives. "Because I've got a loooooot of stuff I'd want to do!"
"Niffs, you're drooling again," Husk mutters, alarm and fear plastered over his features.
A gravely voice emanates from within a cathedral radio situated upon the counter--a housewarming "gift" Alastor had provided the hotel with during its one month anniversary. "Now, if you would be so kind as to repeat that again, my tall, pink fellow?"
Raising one brow, Angel drawls, "You mean your tail? Niffty went into great detail about it on her fic. A fuck ton of detail--apparently you have hooves too?"
"I've also drawn fanart!! Niffty exclaims, waving her phone enthusiastically at Angel. "Been following this one author since the broadcast--You know the one! It was super sexy, and I just haaaad to draw them together, you know?"
"Damn, looks like another one for my personal collection. Got any more of those drawings?" Angel matches her enthusiasm, while Husk visibly blanches upon catching sight of her phone screen. "Absolutely cannot stand the bastard, but I must say Vox has a very large...CPU."
"--That made no fucking sense!" Husk gripes.
"What was this about Vox?" If looks could kill, well, they'd all be dead ten times over. Alastor swipes the phone once more from Niffty's hands at the same time that Husk says with a little too much force, "I need a damn drink."
Angel hurriedly scurried after the cat...bat...demon bartender, leaving Alastor and Niffty to settle this alone.
The radio demon falls eerily silent, smile still as sharp as ever. Niffty sits prim and proper, smiling just as maniacally.
A few seconds pass by before Alastor finally breaks the silence.
"...Sweetheart, why do you have...literature of Vox and I...together?" Goodness, he'd like to believe nothing could surprise him. Not ever since he died and woke up in hell, but Alastor must say there's a first for everything.
"You don't know?" Niffty tilts her head, crimson eye wide in confusion. Upon receiving more silence from Alastor, realization dawns over the small demon. "Ahh, that's a surprise! You've been the talk of the town ever since that fight you had with one of the Vees. TV looking guy that's super thirsty for you? Goes by the name, Vox?"
"Yes, yes, I know who Vox is," Alastor disparagingly murmurs. "Absolute bane of my afterlife, that ridiculous waste of plastic is..."
Niffty's grin widens even further as she exclaims, "You're giving me great material here!! Tell me more!" And for what is quite possibly the third time that morning, Alastor is at a complete loss. Completely blind to his plight, Niffty oh-so-graciously explains, "You have a huge fandom online! There's a heck ton of demons here in hell who'd love to get together with you! Tall, mysterious, handsome, sexy radio voice, and hella powerful! Bad boys like you are always a hit with the ladies! Men, too."
"Oh, my dear, I'm flattered, but I only have a face fit for radio."
"That's not what my mutuals think. Just take a look at this; everyone's been gushing about your fight the other month with Vox. Some people over on Rumblr have been coming up with theories. Apparently Vox was a jilted lover, heartbroken that you ran off with Charlie's mom for seven years--"
"Excuse me?"
"Or that you two are playing the long game, and are madly, hopelessly in-love with each other," Niffty chirps. "To be fair, no one goes on the air to talk about how much they hate someone and don't care they disappeared for seven years, unless they actually liked them. He totally wants to bone you."
"What."
"So, who wears the pants in your relationship?"
Alastor blinks, staring at her with narrowed eyes. "As far as I'm aware, we both wear pants. Though, I'd imagine that ruffian does not know the first thing about proper fashion."
"Aaaah, that's not what I meant, Alastor! C'mon, work with me here!! You can't disappear from your man's life for seven years, and not share the details with your most loyal follower!"
Alastor shakes his head. "No, I would consider you more than a follower--"
"That's not what I meant," Niffty huffs, rolling her eye. "I'm a member of your fanclub! See!?" And for emphasis, she pulls up yet another site. Alastor must admit he's getting awfully tired of this.
Before he can get a word in, Niffty's phone 'chimes' as she receives a notification from Hellfics.
"Fuck yeah; just received a DM from that bitch I was telling you about. Sweet man. Not a bad boy, but he writes some pretty sick stories."
"Niffty."
"Yes?" Niffty asks while hastily typing a reply.
"Why is this acquaintance of yours going by the name of Vox...? There's a checkmark next to his name, and a picture of his.. harddrive."
"Oh, right!" Niffty lightly chuckles. "It's a bit of an open secret in the StaticRadio community, but no one here is a bigger shipper than the Vees, themselves! I've been mutuals with Vox ever since that little musical number you two did. Like I said, super hot."
"...Niffty, my dear," Alastor slowly articulates.
"Yeeeeees, Al?"
"Would you care to join me for an outing? I might pay a visit to a certain mutual acquaintance of ours, and exchange a few...pleasantries with him. I'll require your savviness with these newfangled portable internet boxes to do-so."
"Will there be blood?"
"Oh, very much so, my dear."