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It was late when Soap finally returned from his five-month-long operation. Realistically, it shouldn't have taken five months to complete but it was a search and rescue that should've been simple enough, but the man he was supposed to rescue was well hidden. Eventually, Soap found him, he was strung up in an abandoned factory, his captors losing interest once finding out the man held no information of value and leaving him to starve. Soap got him out quickly and all seemed to be going well, until on his way to the safehouse the man he was tasked to bring back safely was shot clean through the skull.
Soap had taken cover instantly, the will to live strong enough to stave off the shock. The man's body lay in the street, his skull and its contents splattered all over the dark pavement, Soap took one look and cursed under his breath.
He attempted to find the skilled assassin but to no avail, they left without a trace, and Soap was left with making his way back to base, alone, shaken, and covered in blood. As he stepped onto base he paused, unsure of what to do before making his way towards the only place he could feel safe.
Soap stood in front of Ghost's door for a few minutes before it swung open suddenly and Soap was met with the familiar worn balaclava that Ghost usually wore at night.
“Bloody Jesus Soap, you're covered in blood!”
Ghost's voice was hushed but worried as he tugged Soap into his room and flicked the lights on. Soap couldn't bring himself to talk, he couldn't . Ghost stood there, assessing for a moment before gently taking Soap’s hand and guiding him to the bathroom.
“Here, sit here so I can make sure that's not your blood.” Ghost’s voice was gentle as he guided Soap to sit on the toilet. Soap liked it when Ghost was gentle like this, he wanted to say so but when he opened his mouth to speak all that came out was a strangled cry.
Ghost’s head whipped around and his eyes landed on the shaking form of his partner. “Shh, it's okay. You can talk when you're ready love, just let me clean you up.” Ghost knelt and began to clean the blood off Soap’s face gently. Once his face was mostly clean Ghost gestured to the tac gear soap was still clad in. “Johnny, I have to remove this stuff to get you clean, is that okay?”
The nod that Soap gave was a small one but it was enough, so Ghost quickly stripped Soap down to just his boxers. Thankfully, most of the blood and grime was on his gear so really the only thing that needed to be cleaned was Soap's hair, which was caked with blood and dirt.
Ghost's gentle hands on his face startled Soap, and he finally broke from his thoughts enough to speak.
“ Simon. ”
Soap's voice was barely a whisper, but Ghost heard it anyway, “Yeah Johnny it's me, im here, you're safe,” Soap leaned into Ghost’s touch as he spoke, “We have to clean you up alright? I'm going to turn on the shower.” Soap watched as Ghost turned on the shower, checking to make sure the temperature was perfect before gently guiding Soap under the steady stream with him.
Once they were both safely in the shower, Ghost removed his balaclava and tossed it to the side. Soap stared like it was the first time he’d seen Simon's face. Soap's hands were shaky as he lifted them to meet Simon's scarred face. Gently, Soap explored the face he's come to know so well, the one he hopes to one day wake up next to. His fingers trace over the crook of the nose that’s been broken one too many times, the thick ropes of keloid, finally coming to trace the slightly chapped lips he's come to love.
Simon's lips quirked up into a small smile beneath Soap's fingers. Soap watched as Simon methodically rubbed all of the blood and grime from his mohawk, making sure the suds didn't fall into his eyes. Once Soap stopped shaking Simon shut the water off and guided Soap out. Soap relished in the feeling of the soft towel that Simon wrapped around him and waited patiently while Simon dried off and changed into a soft pair of sweats and a worn t-shirt.
Soap followed as Simon motioned him out of the bathroom. He stood silently as Simon dried him off and helped him change out of his now soaking-wet boxers and into soft ones and one of Simon's hoodies. It was Soap's favorite one, it smelled like gunpowder and cigarette smoke, another favorite of Soap’s.
After a moment Soap realized Simon was waiting for something, probably an explanation. Soap took a breath before speaking,
“He's dead, it's ma fault.”
Simon frowned slightly but said nothing as Soap continued to speak.
“We were on our way to the safe house and there was a sniper an I couldn't-”
A sob ripped its way out of Soap's throat and interrupted his words, he felt Simon's arms wrapping around him, felt it as Simon placed his hand on the back of Soap's head and pushed him into the crook of his neck.
“He had a family Si, he had kids ,” Soap's voice was muffled against the skin of Simon's neck, “ I couldn't save him .” Another sob clawed its way past Soap’s lips, his body shook against Simons.
Guilt wracked Soap's mind as he tried to calm himself down, tears freely falling down his face and onto the warm skin of Simon’s neck. He curled further into the larger man, trying to match his slow breaths.
After what felt like it could've been five minutes or two hours of sitting on the floor of Ghost’s quarters and wrapped in the arms of his superior officer, Soap had calmed down enough to slowly unwind himself from Simon, the events of the past few hours making him sluggish with a bone-deep exhaustion. Soap shakily stood, Simon coming to steady him as he made his way to bed.
Soap flopped down onto the bed, too tired to care if the position was comfortable. Simon turned to head towards the couch before Soap's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.
“Don't go, please .”
Soap watched as Simon silently nodded and motioned for Soap to scoot over, sliding next to Soap and pressing himself against the Scot’s side. “Thank you, Si.” Soap’s words were a tired whisper but they were heard anyway. Simon hummed in response, Soap had started to drift before he heard Simon speak softly, softer than he'd ever heard from the man.
“Wasn't your fault Johnny, you did what you could, and that's all anyone can ever ask.”
Soap took a breath and nodded before curling himself into Simon's side as best he could and drifting off into a dreamless sleep, but not before feeling slightly chapped lips pressed against the crown of his head.