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She was...magnificent. We would dance for hours every night, walk the town without a care for the glears and looks others would send out way. We were so entranced in each other, and i felt i had never loved for another as i loved for her. The way her hair glowed in the sunlight, it looked like rivers of golden honey cascading down her shoulders. Her smile was beautiful lighting up the room when ever she walked in and making me beam when seeing it. Each day we would go out and see what the world had instore for us. And each night we would spend time with ourselves away from the public's disapproval.. It was all going so well until that day.
I can remember it all so clearly even after all this time. I woke up to see her cuddled up besides me, her hair all tangled from her sleep i smiled and gently pressed my lips to her forehead drawing a soft, sleepy smile to her lips. I smiled back before carefully untangling myself from her and the sheets and placing my feet on cold wooden floors. Standing i grabbed my white robe and pulled it on tying it with nimble fingers and walking out quietly to make us both coffee. As i placed the well used kettle onto the stove and grabbed the cups from the shelf above me, i heard the soft squeak of the mail flaps hinges as it was lifted and our mail for the day landing on the entrance mat. I headed over to it swiftly bending to pick it up and flicking through it.
Bills.
Bills.
Mail for Chance.
Bills.
Everything seemed normal until i reached the bottom of the the pile to find a letter with the government stamp on it. Curious, i opened it to find a letter detailing that i had been recruited for the war efforts, i had a week to pack my things and say goodbye to loved ones, before a car would collect me and deliver me to an airport where i would be flown out to the base of operations.
I felt my fingers go cold and numb and i stumbled to a nearby chair. Just when thing were normalising and seeming like it would go my way. Just when old scars could heal...this. my mind floated back to the beautiful girl still wrapped in bed. I couldn't leave her like this, i could leave if i knew she was here worrying about me. I collected myself and went back to making coffee and when she came out gave her a brave face.
That night i took her to the docks, she loved the water and the tall ships that lined the boardwalks along the riverside. we walked hand in hand talking until it got dark. I swallowed thinking about what i had to do and she looked at me worried.
“Whats wrong? You’ve been off all night”
I looked at her, those brown eyes i loved so dearly and held back tears, i had to stay strong
“I need to come clean to you…”
The way she looked at me.
“I've been lying to you”
How her brows folded in confusion.
“I only started liking you because you were with Jace”
How her face fell...
“All this time i’ve just been with you so he can't have you, i don't care about you at all and i find it sick that you would want to be with another woman for so long.”
The way her eyes welled up at my words…
“You disgust me and i can't believe you fell for my lies you freak!”
The sting of her hand against my cheek still stings as hard as the look on her face. She escaped into the night not looking back even once, the only sound being her heels as she ran along the docks and the soft sobs that escaped her. I reached out to where she was last, letting my tears well up before hanging my head and slowly walking back towards home. Although with her gone, i don't think it felt like a home anymore.
I didn't get far before i heard his voice, a soft chuckle rolling from his chest. I looked up to see him leaning against a lamp post, arms crossed, and a bittersweet look on his face that i still remember clearly. The world around us was dark the only thing cutting through its heaviness being the old dying bulb from the lamp that illuminating the both of us, and caused long distorted shadows to form around us . He smirked as i angrily wiped the tears forming in my eyes, before spitting out
"I know why you're here, so just say it"
"Oh? Why am i here?"
"You're here to tell me it's my fault, you're here to tell me i never should have taken her from you, you're here to tell me i told you so"
"I told you so"
The memory of those words swam in my mind as i remembered the times he once told be that in the light hearted, joking manner i was always so fond of. Now those words were laced with poison from the actions that i had taken in the past. As was everything i did..
My mind cleared from thoughts of a better time to focus on the dim present events happening around me. As i looked at him, i could see the words he was about to say die on his lips. Lips that once were pressed against mine in the sweetests of times and embraces. He hummed, then turned, beginning to walk away, those words being locked away never to be heard, at least by myself…
"I never gave up on you!"
I spat out, the anger and hurt evident in my tone. The words i'd been wanting to say for so long, since that night so so long ago, finally said, but in the wrong time, and the wrong place...
"I know" was the last thing he said before receding back into the shadows... I took a breath to steady myself before looking towards where i had to go. My chest, although momentarily lightened by my time with Chance, was again burdened with what i had done and said to the people i cared about and what laid before me. as i walked one thing kept repeating itself
“This is what's best for her”