Work Text:
“So, Dice…”
Kip leaned forward over the vanity counter as the showman entered the dressing room, tossing his tailcoat over the coat rack and plopping in the chair beside her. The day’s ceremonies had just wrapped up, and it was the end of the work week on top of that. To say King Dice was exhausted was an understatement.
Kip paused, waiting out a reply. When he sank back in his chair, exhaling in fatigue, she continued, twirling around his chair.
“Do you know what today is…?” The host grunted sleepily in response. Kip frowned.
Sweetly, she placed her hands on his shoulders and smiled. “Don’t tell me you forgot, silly…” she said, cocking an eyebrow. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”
Immediately a hand flew straight to Dice’s face. “Oh, crud.”
He eyed the wall clock. 5:15. They’d already spent the whole day working tirelessly in the building, and at this hour, the sun was just starting to set for the evening. He rose from the chair, slowly, and patted Kip’s shoulder, a hint of shame in his language.
“Doll, I am so sorry… …I didn’t plan a thing.”
There was a beat of silence between the two. Kip looked away. Dice scrambled to come up with something. “Listen, I truly haven’t had a chance, what, with this streak of work days and unnecessary meetings…there’s been no time! I-I’ll make it up to you soon as I can. Swear.”
Kip remained silent. Dice started to sweat. The last thing this day needed was for his trusty manager (and his main squeeze) to be upset with him…
“Oh Dice, hon…” There was a hint of a smile as Kip’s gaze remained downward. Then she popped back up, just as bright and cheery as she’d been when he entered. “I already planned everything!”
The host was dumbfounded. Seeing her excited, though, was enough to perk him back up. Kip grinned and squeezed his hands in excitement, waiting for his response. “My God, Kip! Aren’t I supposed to be the one who does this meticulous date planning and whatnot? You’re gonna make me look bad,” he teased, poking her side.
“Noo!” Kip giggled. “I know you’re busy, goof. Let me do this for you this once, okay?” Dice sighed, then pressed a kiss on her cheek. “Alright. I suppose I can do that.”
He retrieved his belongings from the counter, then started towards the door with her. Dice wheeled around, one finger scratching the side of his head. “Oh, one more thing. Before I go…what time?”
Kip smiled lightly. “7:30. Outside my place. And please don’t be late this time!” she said, patting his shoulder playfully. They turned opposite ways outside the theatre doorway. Dice gave her a two-finger salute, a smarmy smile on his cheeks.
“I’ll be there, sweets.”
Dice checked his watch. 7:28. Kip, with her daily duties as a stage manager, was always on top of the clock and timely with appearances, so he was surprised that he had managed to arrive first for once. The sound of footsteps alerted him, and he looked up to the apartment stoop.
“Oh, I hope I’m not late!”
Dice was a bit transfixed by her getup. He stared, mesmerized. She’d adorned a red velvet dress and beret, with a frilly blouse and strappy, tall heels. To accessorize, she wore oversized envelope earrings and held a little heart clutch, and her pale hair, usually tied back for work, fell in loose ringlets to her waist. She strolled over to Dice, who instinctively wrapped an arm around her. “Well,” he began. He pulled her back to admire the whole look, twirling her under his arm. “Don’t you look snazzy!”
Kip snickered as he looked her up and down. Then she paused to admire him as well. Dice had swapped his lilac tuxedo for a red-and-white ensemble, with a neat corsage pinned to his lapel.
“So.” Dice planted a hand on his hip, eyeing the skunk. “What is this evening you’ve so thoroughly planned for us?” Kip’s eyes lit up.
“Oh, I know you’ll love it. Listen here.” She gestured with his hand to lean in closer. “I’ve got this holiday down to a science . It’s all a celebration of love and grand gestures, right?”
Dice, mouth parted in interest, nodded blankly.
“The trick is to find a way to get others to reward you for it. Instead of going all out and spending a week’s pay on a silly ole’ date…you do something to make everyone want to do it for you!”
He tilted his head. “What are you saying?”
Kip retrieved a small box from her purse, handing it to him. “Sally lent me this from the costume supply. It’s all you’ll need.” She tucked it into his palm, patting it firmly, then beamed confidently at him. “And I already know where our first stop will be.”
Dice’s face fell in perplexity.
“Inkwell’s flower stand? How on earth does this tie into your scheme?”
Kip held a finger to her lips. “Shh.” she spoke in a hushed whisper. “Just use what I gave you, and it’ll all come together. Can you trust me?”
The man rolled his eyes, taking in a huge breath. “I do. Even if this doesn’t make a lick of sense to me so far.” Kip began towards the storefront, facing Dice as she walked backwards. “Stay right there! Then come over once you’re ready.” He scratched his head again, then shuffled in his pocket as she disappeared into the shop.
Quietly, yet curiously, he took out the box Kip had handed him and peered inside. His eyes opened, a devious glint now flickering in them.
“...Kip, you little devil .”
He followed after, box securely tucked away once again. As he entered, Kip was admiring the rows of bouquets that were displayed for the occasion. Noticing this, Dice shrunk to the store’s corner, making sure he wasn’t too visible. She plucked a bunch of roses off of the arrangement and approached the counter, striking up a conversation with the florist.
“Not your day, huh? These for you?”
Kip hummed, her expression melancholy. “Yes, thanks. Just these.” She pulled out her purse to scrape together some change. Then she looked up and sighed. “I haven’t even seen that fool of mine all day…” She pouted, sticking her lip out.
That was his cue. Unmistakably. He swung out from his hiding spot and strutted over to the counter. “Oh darling!” he cried. “I’ve been searching the streets for ya all day!” Joyfully he took her hands and gazed deeply at her. “I couldn’t stop looking until I’d asked you what I’ve been dying to say all day.” Kip continued acting, playing fully into his words.
“Oh sweetheart, you couldn’t just…!” she inhaled sharply, fanning herself off. She pressed herself closer. “Tell me. Please. I can’t stand to wait another minute without knowing!”
Okay. That was it. Dice reached back into his coat pocket, kneeling down before his audience. The entire store had hushed to a whisper, hearing their theatrics ensue. As he took Kip’s hand with his own, his voice rang out loudly for all to hear:
“Kipper Parfum, will you marry me? ”
Gasps and whispers scattered around the room, eager for Kip’s answer. She cupped a hand to her mouth, feigning shock. Her eyes darted around the room, taking her time so as to really drag out the anticipation. Finally, she nodded, almost in tears by this point.
“Oh Dice! YES! A thousand times yes!!” She flung herself at the man, almost knocking himself over. He spun around, taking the skunk in his arms and spinning as the shopgoers cheered and hooted for the couple. The florist then meekly interrupted the two.
“Excuse me,” she chirped. “First of all, congratulations! I’d like it if you took these as an engagement gift from all of us here. It’s on the house, loves!” She handed Kip the bouquet that had been placed on the counter earlier. “Enjoy it!”
Kip gushed. “Oh, thank you, thank you! You don’t know how much this means!” Her voice was dripping with saccharine fraudulence. She pecked Dice’s face a handful of times, arms wrapped around his neck, and he led the two out of the shop. Then they hurried across the street, far out of earshot from all the spectators.
Catching her breath, Kip held up the roses. “Step one…hah…done.”
Dice, hands on his knees, panted as the adrenaline wore off. “Kip. There HAS to be an easier way to do all this!”
Kip held her arm out, marveling at the sparkling fake ring. “I mean, yes.” She hummed. “But this is much more fun , ain’t it?” She flicked her eyes back to him. “And it’s unlike you to be disdainful about free stuff.”
He paused, breath finally steadying. In that moment, he saw Kip’s pure amusement, the joy in her eyes as she admired her prizes. That was enough of a deciding factor.
“Hah, oookay…’spose you’re right again. Where to, then, toots?”
Kip shimmied up to his side, smiling devilishly. “You hungry?”
Dice’s status in town did have its advantages at times. If you could stand the press, paparazzi, and general attention from strangers, being a celebrity could get you just about anything you wanted on the double. Which, in this case, made Kip’s pleas to skip the reservation queue at The Ritz a remarkably easy feat. The two quietly discussed back and forth as they were led to their seats.
“So you’ll let me know the right time again, yes?”
“ Yes , dear. With something like this, though, you have to wait until the latest moment possible. After you’ve gotten everything you wanted.” Her words were intentionally vague, so nobody peeping in would catch on. “Once you’re satisfied, you know?”
Dice smiled, expression softening. “I getcha.”
He took her hands as they sat. “But right now, all you gotta worry about is what to order.”
Kip sipped from her glass as he carried on. “So…is this a regular game of yours? I didn’t really expect it from you, that is.”
She swallowed, stifling a laugh. “Oh, not at all. Truth is, I’m making it up as I go. And frankly? I’m surprised it’s gone as well as it has so far!” As Dice’s face shifted in perplexion, she popped a bread roll in her mouth.
She spoke between chews. “That’s not a bad thing now…is it?”
Dice realized he’d been staring in disbelief the whole time. He reflexively took a drink. “No, no, of course not.”
“Well, good.” Kip continued, fixing herself another roll. “I’d feel just awful stringing you along for something you weren’t on board for.”
He stiffened, grip fastened on his glass. Kip had been managing his show for seven, no, eight months now, and to her understanding at this point it was nothing more than a silly quiz program, with laughably easy trivia and tunes any passerby could pick up on. How he’d managed to conceal the true basis of the show, and what all went down behind the curtain was positively a mystery to him. Anyone who was told to steer clear of the stage’s prize room wouldn’t know any better, naturally. It was only in Kip’s nature to follow orders and avoid any trouble with the staff who’d been there longer. With staggering tune-ins and record contestant sums since the crew’s new addition, however, her knowledge of the soul theft would be an unthinkable risk. It was for everyone’s benefit that it stayed concealed, as long as necessary. Dice shook his head. He focused his eyes and saw that Kip had been waiting for his answer this whole time, lips curled into a curious smile.
“Well, luckily, you’re not.” Dice took her hand and pecked it. “You have my word.”
“Fantastic,” she replied. An impish grin creeped onto her face. “Let’s move ahead to step two.”
Dinner came and went uneventfully, and as things were wrapping up, Kip signaled that the time was drawing nearer to work the charm again. Dice acknowledged and beckoned the waiter as he strolled by.
“Dessert special, please. …Two forks.”
“Right away.”
Kip rubbed her hands together and a laugh slipped out. Dice hushed her, barely disguising his own amusement. “Stop being so obvious! You’re an actor for god’s sake, play it cool!”
She blew out a breath, eyes closed. “Right. Right. Sorry, can’t help the excitement.”
She tapped her hands excitedly on her lap as the plate arrived, eyes darting between the tiramisu and Dice as he prepared himself. He steadied his breath, and as Kip looked up and away, he quickly placed the ring in the center of the dessert. Then he cleared his throat as Kip turned her head back to the center of the table.
“Kipper, darling…” His voice was raised again, for all the patrons to hear.
The ploy was back on. “Dice…are you?”
With two fingers, he pushed the plate towards her. “This is wayyy overdue of me, and I hope you’ll forgive me for it. Kippy dear, what do you say about making me the happiest man in all of the Inkwell Isles?”
The waterworks were aplenty. Fake tears streamed down her cheeks. “You know nothing would make me happier. Of course I will!” She placed both hands on the table and sprang up from her chair, meeting him in a forward, enthused kiss. He hummed a bit in surprise, cupping his hands around Kip’s face, then pulling back as they were again met with applause and reactions from around the restaurant. The manager made his way through the crowd of onlookers, looking to see what had just commenced.
He approached the table and shook Dice’s hand tightly. “King Dice! I didn’t know you’d be dining with us tonight. Let me say it’s an honor to have you in the establishment.” His eyes darted to Kip, who squirmed in her seat nervously. He extended his hand. “And let me congratulate you as well, little lady! Cheers to both of you. Please, let the restaurant cover your meal tonight. It’s the least I can offer you two lovebirds.” Kip shot a wink to Dice, who spoke for them. “Gladly. Thank you kindly!”
There were camera clicks and flashes as the conversation unfolded, as locals began to recognize the radio star. Kip shielded her face. “Wha…?”
Dice shifted to cover the skunk with his body. “Ah, paparazzi. Can’t avoid ‘em, especially in such a ritzy part of town. What do you say we box this up to go?” He waggled his thumb towards the exit.
Kip snatched up the dessert, keeping her body lowered. “Good idea.”
Dice waved off the manager, thanking him again, and the two scurried out, followed by more cries and camera shutters. “Good grief,” he mumbled. “Not a moment’s peace in this city.” He looked down at Kip under his arm. “You okay?”
“Dice, I just got a free meal and the hand of the most wanted man in Inkwell City. I think I’m gonna be just keen.” Kip smiled and nestled into him.
“If you say so,” he rustled. “But I also understand if you think you’re done after this.”
Her head shot up. “Are you kidding?”
She backed up away from him, shaking her head. “Oh, no, no…I wanna get some MILEAGE out of this ring, Dice! I say there’s plenty more to be done. Night’s still young, too.”
He groaned. “You’re mad with power.”
Kip glared. “And you’re not?”
He sassily planted his hands on his hips. “You’re really playing a dangerous game here…but alright. Let’s go for it.” Dice pulled Kip’s ring right off her finger and pressed it back into the box, shaking it mischievously in front of her before hiding it again. “Three for three?”
“Absolutely.”
And that they did. The pair struck time and time again as they made their stops across the entire city, fooling all who bore witness to their charade. It was like clockwork, and the spoils were aplenty.
Flowers from the florist of course, a free dinner at The Ritz, special occasion chocolates and all kinds of beneficence from the public. Passerby had offered small gifts from their pockets, photographs of the two, and even donations upon witnessing the engagements. There was undoubtedly a strategy with location, too. Finding the most picturesque spots in the city was crucial. In front of the fountains, at the park’s gardens, at the carnival’s biggest attraction. It drew the most attention and got the most profit as a result. Several individuals with the press had also taken sight of the events, and tried to get a word in, luckily to no avail. The less coverage there was of this evening, the less of a talk Dice would have to have with his boss the next day. The two sat poised on a street bench as they counted their loot.
“Not bad,” Dice acclaimed. “What do you say we turn in for the night? I’m pleased.”
Kip pondered on it for a moment, then shook her head. “I have one more idea…”
From her bag, she unfolded an invitation. Dice peered inquisitively at it. “I grabbed this flyer from the bulletin board over at the theatre…there’s a Valentine’s event going on by the pier on the beach. And I guarantee all the fanciest couples will be there attending tonight! A little tipsy from the wine tasting they’re hosting, pockets full of allowances and charms to give to the newly betrothed…”
Dice snapped his fingers. “I love your mind.”
They remained discreet as they approached the shorefront, ensuring no evidence of the other celebrations was apparent. They shared a mutual nod and sprung into action.
“Before we go too far…” Dice warned. “Let’s make the rounds…and find out who our best targets are first. Best to be safe and not waste our efforts.”
Kip agreed. An air of casualty was taken on as they circled about the gathering, striking up hellos with the more sociable attendees. As they slipped through, taking in the atmosphere and guests, they picked up two drinks on the way and gradually reached the center of the festivities.
Dice tapped his glass with a stirring spoon. “Well, everyone, since we’ve got the drinks out and everyone’s feeling festive, I feel there’s something I should do. Something I’ve been meaning to do.” He glanced to Kip, who shyly emerged into the clearing. Hushed gasps and murmurs diffused about yet again.
She sauntered over, slow as ever, letting the witnesses take in every moment. Now it was silent. All that was audible was the steady breeze and the crashing of waves at the pier. This time, she didn’t speak and let Dice monologue freely.
“Kipper, my sunshine, my little lovebug. I’ve been trying for ages to find the perfect chance to do this, and, well, I can’t think of any better time than now. We’ve been through thick and thin, highs and lows! But now…I want to keep going forward…with you as my wife .”
As he finished his soliloquy, he kneeled and presented the ring box a final time. A wave of “ooh’s” and “ahh’s” washed over the crowd. Kip squeaked, and leaned in close, her grip fastened on his sleeves, about to give Dice her answer, but not before–
“HEY!”
Both of them froze up, frigid and unmoving. The voice presented itself–and their hearts sank as the familiar face came into sight. The kind florist from earlier this afternoon now stood with an expression that could incinerate both on the spot. Before either of them could sputter out an explanation, it worsened. Other faces from the evening began to appear, one by one. The Ritz’ waiter, the photographer, a handful of passersby who’d gifted the two on one of their ploys. One of them shouted across the now ice-cold gathering.
“I see now. You must think we’re reeeally stupid! I don’t think this is your first time going through this little SKIT of yours tonight!”
Murmurs of anger and surprise bubbled up. Kip and Dice stared frantically at one another.
“How cheap d’ya have to be to con people out of their own goodwill, you…!”
Dice piped up, smiling nervously. “Well, y’see, uh–”
“CHEESE IT, DICE!”
Kip grabbed his arm and took off running towards the streets of town, and he helplessly dragged behind. Shouts and cries from the mob followed them, but there was no point in pursuit. As they fled, the gifts from earlier scattered across the ground, slipping from their arms, leaving a fantastic trail of rose petals and heart-shaped novelties in their path. Dice, hurrying his pace, caught up behind Kip and scooped her over his shoulder.
“Wh–HEY!” she cried.
“It’s faster this way!” he shouted. “Hold on!”
He veered right and hustled them both down a narrow street, one full of residentials with less buzzing and traffic. He set Kip down, who squirmed and protested at the sudden change of direction.
He heaved a few breaths. “I don’t think they’ll come lookin’ for us here. That’s why I grabbed ya.” Then he cracked his back with his hands. “Ohh! I’m not used to running quite like that, though.”
Kip whined. “Oh…dammit. Dammit! I got too greedy, didn’t I. We lost almost everything.” She rummaged around in her pockets, just to find scraps of their haul. She gasped. “And I lost the ring! I must’ve dropped it when I ran away. Sally’s gonna kill me now.” She fell back onto the wall, sinking in dread.
“What a waste.”
Dice watched sorrowfully as Kip continued to wallow and moan. “Oh Kip… I don’t think it was a total loss. Okay? I mean, I got to spend it all with you, didn’t I?” She grumbled, face firmly planted into her knees. “Don’t be corny,” her muffled voice faltered out.
He huffed. “Alright.”
Bracing his hand on the wall, he sat down next to her. “It won’t do you any good to have a pity party now, though.”
Her head lifted up, eyes damp from crying. “But the night’s over and I’ve got nothing to show for it.”
“Nothing to show for it? Don’t be ridiculous!” He laughed heartily, and his hands searched around the remains of the gifts. He hemmed and hawed, thoughts racing. “Here.” Plucking up one of the fallen roses, he daintily placed it behind her ear. “Ain’t that something?”
Kip snorted. “I told you not to be corny.” She tucked a lock of hair on the opposite side.
“And, hey–hey! Look here.” He dug through the pile, retrieving a small box and lifting it to their faces. “Tiramisu? Still pretty fresh.”
She took a deep breath. “That actually…does sound pretty good right now. …Thanks.”
She nestled in, holding his waist. “Sorry for overreacting there.”
Dice opened up the box and fiddled with the singular to-go fork. “Don’t be! Perfectly natural response to having your fun cut short like that.” As he scooped a bit of the dessert, their eyes met. “You did have fun, right?”
She nodded, taking the fork from him. “Mm-hmm.”
“Well good. That’s what matters most here.” He squeezed her against his side snugly. Then tipped her chin into a soft, lingering kiss. More tenderly, this time. When he drew back, her hands brushed onto his chest, clinging to his vest. Her face flushed, burning hot, and heart racing, she spoke up softly.
“I love you, Dice, you know that?”
He chuckled. “You’re pretty swell yourself, doll.”
He sat up, patting her leg. “And hey. When the real thing rolls around, we’ll be sure not to do it at any o’ THOSE places, amirite!”
She shot into the air, almost delirious.
“REAL THING?!”