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Jonah takes a deep breath and a long drag of their cigarette right after, listening to the mind numbing sound of yet another annoyingly angered rambling from his best friend. He's tired, sure. And yes, maybe the look of disgust in those eyes --- that god damn looked like a sunsetting sky to Jonah --- hurt, but he wouldn't admit any of that to the boy so toxicly rambling on about how Jonah never does anything right, and why would he? Why would he TRY to do anything right and be mature if it always seemed to end in a lecture? There was no point or goal --- Adam was always angry, always had something to yell about. God, it made Jonah wish he could shut the boy up with a punch, or a kiss.
As the yelling continued Jonah sighed and put his cigarette out on his jeans --- a feeling he grew much used to even if it tended to burn through and hurt sometimes --- and looked at Adam. Adam scoffed, saying something about how he wished Jonah hadn't looked at him, about how he wished he didn't have to see Jonahs ugly fucking face everyday. How fucking ugly he was, how painful it was to deal with the ear grating sound of Jonahs fucking voice --- and eventually it became too much and Jonah just started crying. Fucking sobbing, like a bitch.
Jonah didn't usually feel like this, it wasn't NORMAL for the man to break down, and yet the feeling of such judgement from the most beautiful God damn man he'd ever seen -- god fucking damn it all --- hurt like a fucking stab wound. And Jonah hated that it hurt, they hated that whenever Adam looked at them there was this butterfly feeling in his chest because for Christs sake before he met Adam he was sure they had no interest in men at all! And then Adam comes up with his beautiful eyes and his stupid fucking smile and FUCK --- Jonahs swooning, and it's stupid, he feels stupid. They've always felt a little stupid, but this sealed the whole ass deal.
Adam swallows down his regret like spicy mouthwash and slowly walks next to Jonah. There's a shaky tone in his voice when he asks if the boy is okay, like he's scared of what he's just done. Like there's a reason to be scared this time even though it is not the first time he's made Jonah feel like this and it seems to both of them like it won't ever be the last.
A pity-filled sound escapes Adam when the other person nods, and he slowly brings the man into a hug. Maybe if they could just hold each other for a moment it'd be okay. Even if Adam never knew how painfully Jonah felt, how those star filled eyes had Jonah struggling to fucking breathe. To function. To LIVE. Jonah sniffled back his sobs and his tears, staring up at Adam who stared back down.
Their height difference wasn't too bad, no, but it was definitely noticeable. Jonah stood at about 4 inches shorter than Adam. Both were decently tall, but Adam had always been taller. For some fucking reason, it's one of the things that caused Jonah to fall so hard.
Jonah let his hands cup Adam's face for a moment, his hands freezing cold yet somehow making Adam feel warmer as he froze in place. A glance and you could tell they were in love, and Adam thought that maybe Jonah might feel the same way --- anyone would have thought it was obvious. But Adam didn't, Adam didn't think it was obvious, Adam was TERRIFIED that if he made the wrong move everything would be ruined, everything would never be the same and he'd lose Jonah. Who, by God, even if they pissed Adam off sometimes, was Adam's everything. They were eachother's everything. Not like anyone else would stand by them.
The two both took a deep breath, and Jonah couldn't help but kiss him. It was a shocking feeling, of course it was, who expects to be kissed by their best friend (face still soaked with tears after getting screamed at by none other than Adam himself), after a drunken argument on a tuesday night. Maybe you would, but Adam wouldn't, and he certainly wouldn't expect to be wrapping his arms around Jonah and kissing back like he needed it.
And maybe he did.