Work Text:
You're as warm as a glass of brandy
And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time
I've looked for love in all the same old places
Found the bottom of the bottles always dry.
It wasn’t really a surprise that Schlatt invited her. These days, you hardly ever see one without the other. Her and Schlatt, the iconic duo.
After her short but overwhelming rise to internet fame through a series of lucky incidents, the fans immediately latched onto the dynamic between them.
Maybe it was something about the combination of her bubbly personality and his stoic demeanor. They had the sort of personalities that contrasted so well that all of their content together was far too entertaining to skip.
Or maybe it was just Schlatt’s bold and blunt flirting with her that launched them from two streamers to one of the most popular ships to ever hit Twitter.
Whatever the case may be, she’s not overly surprised that Schlatt invited her to the Huge Streamer Content Week Extravaganza , or whatever they were calling it now.
Honestly, she would be a little offended if she wasn’t invited. She’d been a regular feature on many streams for almost a year now – Schlatt’s in particular. Sometimes with her video camera on, sometimes as just a voice in the Discord call. Never in person.
She could have made the trip to Austin a few times now but she could never quite bring herself to do it. Speaking with Schlatt online was fun, but there was also a strange churning in her gut whenever she pictured the two of them meeting in real life.
In real life, there’s no reason to continue the bit. All of the jokes about how he’s head over heels for her. The thought of meeting Schlatt only for him to treat her like just another friend sent a wave of nausea through her gut.
It’s not fair to him, she knows that. But she’s been crazy about him since the first time she laid eyes on him, so she figures that she can cut herself a little slack. So she’d continued putting off meeting him again and again, despite his offers to fly her out.
But this time is different. Everyone would be there – her phone has been blowing up for hours now, with Ted and Charlie and Philza fucking Minecraft, all spamming some groupchat that she hasn’t had the courage to check yet.
Schlatt had added her to the group chat earlier that day, followed by a single private message from him.
schlatt | 10:52am:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
She sighs, clicking off her phone and tossing it on the bed next to her. Despite all of her lamenting on the thought of meeting him, she is excited. The sort of excitement that makes the tips of her fingers prickle with heat.
She rolls over onto her stomach, picking her phone back up and opens her messages, clicking Schlatt’s before anything else.
me | 10:55am:
okay sure
schlatt | 10:55am:
wait really?
don't lie about this bc i will be so pissed
and quackity said he will kill himself if you dont come
me | 10:56am:
i am serious lol
i’ll be there
schlatt | 10:56am:
YOOOO
you love me so much you literally can't stay away from me
me | 10:57am:
i wanna meet slimecicle
schlatt | 10:57am:
you wanna meet my DICK
me | 10:57:
i wanna meet philza minecraft
schlatt | 10:57am:
you have something wrong with you
She laughs and shakes her head, exiting the conversation with Schlatt and confirming her attendance in the groupchat. The statement receives a round of cheering and excitement from the other members, and a message from Tubbo that just reads ‘tubbo’, for some inexplicable reason.
Her stomach churns with nerves and excitement as she sits up on her bed, sliding her laptop towards her and opening it. She scours Google for the website with the cheapest flights. She may be a mildly successful streamer now, but she isn’t loaded. Not like Schlatt and the others.
On her phone, she scrolls up to the top of the group chat, saving the picture that Ted, ever responsible, had sent with all of the information about the week. The address, the itinerary, the dates and times to be there.
She books an evening flight, since it was a few hundred dollars cheaper, before sending Schlatt a picture of the confirmation.
schlatt | 11:27am:
no fucking way dude
me | 11:27am:
yippee!!!
schlatt | 11:27:
you aren’t joking
me | 11:28am:
i said i wasn’t
schlatt | 11:28am:
best day of my life
She hates the way that she can feel her cheeks getting warmer at just a simple and stupid message. Realistically, she knows that Schlatt wants to see her – he’s been talking about it for months. But every time she actually acknowledges it, she feels like throwing up.
Finally meeting him in person could be the greatest moment of her life, or it could ruin everything. She’s not too sure she’s ready to find out which it’s going to be.
But it’s too late for all of that, now.
In two weeks and three days, she will be on her flight to New York, to the huge AirBnb that they’ve rented for the week.
It’s going to be fine, she soothes herself. Everything is going to be completely normal.
*
Things are not normal.
She is trending on Twitter. She had fallen asleep that night after sending off a quick tweet that she would, in fact, be attending the Giant Huge Streamer Party Funganza (Tommy had changed the name again).
What she didn’t count on was Schlatt replying to the tweet at four in the morning, long after she’d fallen asleep.
Big guy @schlatt replied to your tweet:
We are going to kiss
The tweet has over 70k likes and is still rising. Her name, along with Schlatt’s, claims one of the top three spots on the trending tab. Number one is their ship name.
She hasn’t seen anything like this since DNF tweets from 2020, and it takes her a moment to get her bearings. The tweet itself is nothing out of the ordinary – the entire dynamic that she has with Schlatt is him pretending to flirt with her and her taking no notice of it.
The reaction is what is more startling. Seventh on trending is the fanart tag for her duo with Schlatt, and number ten is simply the phrase ‘they’re going to WHAT?’.
So much for a stress-free and normal meetup. The event is still two weeks away and already she feels light-headed with nerves. Her mind is flooded with unbidden images, all stemming directly from Schlatt’s tweet.
She shakes her head to clear it. They are not going to kiss. Schlatt is going to greet her, smile, and then they are going to film content and talk to the rest of the group.
Because the flirting is a bit, she reminds herself, as she often does. It’s not real. It is for views and likes. That’s all.
Schlatt has said it himself, many times before. They get almost double the amount of views when he is tossing pickup lines and her and she is mercilessly rejecting him. It’s their dynamic, and it works .
She scrolls down her notifications for a bit, browsing the verified tab. There is a tweet from Tommy, who has replied to Schlatt’s tweet about kissing with a simple: ‘Before marriage?’.
Philza, Charlie, and Niki have all replied to her original tweet about attending the meetup, thankfully with normal exclamations of excitement.
Before she has the chance to reply to any of them, her phone lights up with an incoming FaceTime call.
schlatt
would like to FaceTime…
After a half-hearted attempt to comb through her hair with her fingers and straighten out her pajamas, she picks up the call.
Schlatt’s face fills the screen, blurry in the dim light. He seems to still be in bed, sunlight filtering through his blinds and leaving thin strips of gold across his face.
“It’s eight in the fucking morning,” she says, squinting at him.
“Good morning, princess.” Schlatt beams, his voice clearly trying to sound annoyingly energetic despite being laden with sleep. “How are you?”
“Tired,” she says bluntly. “Why did you call me?”
It’s a serious effort to act as though her entire body isn’t engulfed in flames at just the sight of him on a pixelated FaceTime call. But being honest has never been her strong suit. Lightly bullying him has always been more in her ballpark.
“Okay, seriously,” Schlatt says, sitting up a little against his headboard. “Sorry about that tweet. I don’t know if you’ve seen the trending tab, but it’s crazy.”
“I’ve seen it,” she hums. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind.”
“I say shit like that all the time,” Schlatt says. “I don’t know why they went insane this time.”
“Probably because we’re actually meeting up,” she says.
“Yeah, and I’m actually going to kiss you,” Schlatt replies.
Thank god for the dim lighting of her bedroom. The heat that rushes to her cheeks is frankly embarrassing.
“You’re an idiot.”
“And you’re in denial,” he says. “By the way, why are your flights so late?”
She frowns for a moment, trying to remember what time she booked the flights for.
“7:30pm is not that late,” she says.
“Yes it is,” Schlatt whines, sounding like a petulant child. “Everyone else will be here so much earlier.”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s a week-long stay. A few hours won’t make much difference.”
There’s a shuffling on the other end of the line as Schlatt moves around. “I’m picking you up from the airport, then.”
She freezes for a moment, heat coursing through her veins. “I can just get an Uber.”
“No, no,” Schlatt says, his camera jostling as he gets out of bed. “I’m coming to get you.”
“Just you?”
“Yes.”
He doesn’t elaborate further and there is a clicking noise on the other end of the line as he rolls up his blinds. The morning sunlight casts a golden glow across his face. He looks beautiful, all brown eyes and loose curls. She swallows roughly.
“Okay, fine.”
“Perfect,” Schlatt grins. “I’m gonna go make some money. Call you later, yeah?”
“Alright,” she says. “Make sure to eat breakfast.”
Schlatt rolls his eyes, but his grin morphs into a more genuine smile. “You too.”
The call ends and she tosses her phone onto her blankets, falling backwards onto her bed. Just a couple more weeks. The feeling that this trip is going to change everything looms overhead.
It’s hard to tell if it’s a good or bad feeling.
*
Time has a funny habit of speeding up when you want it to slow down. She would have loved to take her time packing her suitcases, planning out the finer points of the trip, and mentally preparing herself. Things don’t exactly go to plan.
Between streaming, featuring on her friends streams, cooking, cleaning, and being generally bothered by her friends (primarily Schlatt), before she knows it the trip is three days away and she hasn’t packed at all.
The hype on Twitter had died down briefly, but with the date of the trip drawing nearer, it has started to pick up again. There is endless fanart of the group of people who will be attending the Incredible, Fun and Sexy Streamer Jamboree (Tommy got bored of the previous name).
Her timeline is full of predictions, theories, and general excitement about the event. She browses through the tweets, pausing to read the ones that are about her.
alex / leo! @pinkachuu
my fav duo is meeting in literally 3 days im gnawing at the metal bars of my enclosure
Attached is a screenshot of her and Niki, their discord webcams aligned, trying and failing to make a hand heart with each other. She drops a like on the tweet and keeps scrolling through endless posts and pictures.
lia @tommyhugz
“omg shes meeting up w schlatt” IDGAF WE’RE GETTING IRL CONTENT W HER AND TOMMY!!!!!!
There is a 30 second video clip with this one. Tommy’s minecraft character is following her around some grassy plains, crouching and ducking his head, as real life Tommy on video chat begs her for food and resources.
kara @schlattnations
And when I'm right and they turn out to be actually dating.. Y’all will owe me an apology…
She pauses at this one. The image attached is a blurry screenshot of a Discord chat. In the chat, Schlatt has sent a picture with the caption ‘literally 3 in the afternoon…’.
The picture is a screenshot of her and Schlatt on video call. Schlatt had taken it a few months ago, when she had fallen asleep on call with him.
In the picture, she is curled up against her pillows, eyes closed. Schlatt can be seen in the other window of the call, his face concentrated as he takes the screenshot.
She’s not even entirely sure how the picture was made public. She has vague memories of someone, maybe Jack Manifold, pulling up the Discord chat on stream on accident.
For a while, it was all she would see on her timeline, but it's been a while since she’s seen it. There’s nothing particularly shocking or revealing about the picture, but Twitter has a field day with it.
Something about it makes her stomach begin to churn, so she exits the app, tossing her phone onto her bed and taking a seat on the floor.
She reaches under her bed and pulls out her empty suitcase. Time to get it over with.
*
The morning of her flight, she has to lock herself in the bathroom and press her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, taking deep breaths.
A combination of anxiety and anticipation is swirling through her body. Schlatt had called her earlier that morning, confirming that he was picking her up from the airport and asking if he could film them meeting.
He said he was going to make some video titled ‘meeting my e-girlfriend in real life’, or something equally stupid and emotionally overwhelming. It didn’t help at all to calm her nerves, but speaking to Schlatt did help a little bit.
At the end of the day, he’s her best friend. Even if he does end up acting differently and things feel weird for a little bit, that won’t end their friendship. She’s determined that nothing will end it. Not even her own stupid feelings.
By midday, most of the other streamers had arrived at the AirBnb. Her phone is flooding with pictures and messages, and while a bit of jealousy swirls in her gut, it is quickly absorbed by nerves.
She’s just hopping into her Uber to the airport, her bags safely stowed away in the trunk, when her phone lights up with a text.
tubbo | 4:37pm:
Are u planning to kill shlatt
me | 4:37pm:
HUH?
tubbo | 4:37:
I can offer lawyer servaces if you need
me | 4:38pm:
i am not planning on killing schlatt
why do u ask?
tubbo | 4:38pm:
He is geting ready to pick u up and he is sooooo nervouis
me | 4:38pm:
like how?
tubbo | 4:38pm:
Pacing up and down up and down
Putting a headband in his hair then taking it bak out hahahaha
Maybe I wasnt suposed to tell you that
me | 4:38pm:
LMAO
idk what his deal is but i promise i wont kill him
yet
tubbo | 4:39pm:
You can if you want to. Just offering my lawyer servaces 👍
me | 4:39pm:
idk what i would do without u tubbo
tubbo | 4:39pm:
👍
Clicking her phone off, she presses her forehead against the window of the Uber. Schlatt? Nervous? Maybe he’s just as worried about the potential for the dynamic to feel weird in real life.
Whatever the case is, she doesn’t have time to think about it now. She watches as the Uber pulls carefully up to the curb, stepping out and allowing the driver to help her unload her suitcases.
The check-in process flies by, her mind occupied by thoughts of Schlatt, her friends, Schlatt, the week ahead, Schlatt… she shakes her head and flicks her eyes up to the boarding screen, ensuring her flight will be leaving on time.
No delays, no stops. She hitches her carry-on up on her shoulder and, with shaking legs, takes her place in line.
She follows the single file row of people into the plane. Once she touches down, Schlatt will be there waiting for her.
*
The second the plane doors open and fresh air touches her face, all nerves leave her.
It’s the strangest sensation, but after being wrapped up with anxiety and uncertainty for weeks, it seems as though her body and brain just can’t take it anymore. Instead, there is just pure, uncontrollable excitement.
Her hands shake slightly as she pulls her phone out of her pocket, switching it off airplane mode and shooting off a text to Schlatt.
me | 7:32pm:
WHERE ARE U!!!!!!!
schlatt | 7:32pm:
parking lot by gate F
HURRY!!!
Shoving her phone hastily back in her pocket, she makes a beeline for Gate F, not even bothering to collect her checked luggage. Nothing else seems to matter apart from getting to Schlatt. She feels like nothing could drag her away from him now.
How silly it seems that she was uncertain about meeting him. Her entire body thrums with energy, driving her feet along the corridors and out the back door to the parking lot.
The parking lot is empty as she exits the back door, with most of the other passengers having exited through the main entrance doors. The cold air bites at her skin as she steps out onto the concrete steps, scanning the parking lot for Schlatt’s car.
She doesn’t have to look very far, as there are only two cars in the lot, sitting quiet and dormant in the dim evening light. Near a row of trees at the far end of the parking lot is a sleek black Mercedes.
Standing in front of it, eyes glued to his phone, is Schlatt.
He is tall, far taller than she ever imagined him to be. Broader, too. She’s always liked that about him. It’s almost laughable, the way he claimed to have made himself ‘less attractive’ over the years, only to end up looking the way that he does, all broad shoulders and strong arms.
Before she can think too hard about it, she’s dropping her carry-on bag to the floor near the steps and sprinting towards him. If the sound of her footsteps pounding on the concrete towards him doesn’t alert Schlatt to her presence, her shout of his name surely does.
He looks up from his phone, locking eyes with her, before breaking into his own jog to meet her halfway.
They collide in the middle of the parking lot, his arms coming around her in a bear hug, lifting her into the air and swinging her around in a wide circle. She laughs as her feet leave the ground and she presses her face into his shoulder.
She can hear him laughing too, faintly, as he puts her back on the ground. He takes a step backwards, not moving farther than an arms length away.
“Why are you so short in real life?” Schlatt says, eyes crinkling as he smiles.
He looks so good in the evening light that she has to avert her eyes for a moment to get her bearings. He is wearing a pair of plain black sweatpants and some stupid sweater with an old American president on it. His hair is pushed out of his face with a thin, wire headband.
She snorts, hitting him lightly on the arm. “I am literally average height.”
Though, she has to admit, she doesn’t feel as though she is average height at this particular moment in time. Not when he is towering over her the way that he is.
“Sure, sure,” Schlatt laughs, eyes taking in her form. “Wait, where the fuck are your bags?”
“Oh,” she glances over to the steps where she had dropped her carry-on. “One of them is right there. I sorta just dropped it and ran.”
Schlatt barks out a sharp laugh, which sounds so much better in real life rather than over the distorted quality of a Discord call.
“C’mon, I’ll just grab my stuff and we’ll get your bags,” he says, nodding towards his car. It’s only then that she notices a small camera set up on the roof of his car.
“Oh, right,” she says, following him over to his car. “You were filming us meeting, right?”
“Yeah,” Schlatt laughs. “Doubt I can use any of the footage though.”
“Why,” she asks. “Were we too far away?”
“No, no,” he says. “But if I post that video, the stans will lose their fucking minds. I literally picked you up and spun you around like we were in a rom-com.”
He sounds a little sheepish as he says it, his hand coming up to scratch at the back of his neck. For some reason it is that fact that causes her face to flush. An uncertain and nervous Schlatt is something that she never thought she would experience in a million years.
There’s a first time for everything, she supposes. This is going to be a very interesting week.
*
The AirBnb is loud. That is her first thought when Schlatt pulls his car into the driveway.
It’s a big place, it had to be in order to fit everyone who was staying for the week, but it wasn’t an absolute mansion like she feared. It’s easy to feel out of place, not having quite as much money as everyone else. A mansion would have been a bit much.
It is a large, two story house with a wide patio and a garden. All of the lights are on inside the house and the doors are open, the sounds of music and chatting and laughter escaping into the night air.
Tommy and Tubbo appear to be playing some sort of game on the patio that involves catching a ping-pong ball in a plastic cup.
“Ready?” Schlatt says, her pink carry-on bag hooked over his arm. He looks stupidly endearing, and she has to force herself to look away from him again. She wonders how often she’ll have to do that this week.
“Mhm,” she nods, letting Schlatt lead the way to the house, her suitcase trailing behind her.
The moment she begins to climb the steps, there is a shout of ‘SHE HAS ARRIVED!’ from Tommy, that draws most of the residents out of the house.
She is accosted by Tommy first, who hurdles over the small barrier between the patio and the front stairs to give her a hug. He is quickly followed by Tubbo, then Niki, and soon enough she is getting welcoming hugs from the rest of the house.
Finally, as Phil gets everyone to give her some space, she is able to lug her bags into the house with the help of Phil and Schlatt and get settled into her room. Niki and Tina are her roommates for the week, an arrangement that she is extremely excited about.
She seems to have arrived in the middle of a huge debate surrounding what to order for dinner, one so extensive that Tommy and Tubbo left halfway through to go and play outside. With the final member of their group accounted for, however, everyone seems eager to eat some food and get some sleep.
Several huge boxes of classic New York pizza are ordered, and everyone collapses onto various couches and bean bags around the room, apart from Tommy, who seems to have more energy that he knows what to do with and is exploring the various rooms and amenities of the house.
Schlatt takes the spot on the two seater next to her, his arm pressing against hers as everyone talks while they wait for the pizza to arrive. There are so many different conversations happening at once, she doesn’t know where to focus her attention.
It’s a little overwhelming, so she instead chooses to focus on the feeling of Schlatt’s warm arm pressing against her. It’s not as nerve-wracking as she initially thought it would be, to be in such close quarters with him. If anything, it's a little comforting.
Schlatt is warm and he smells a little like cologne and honey, which is probably the lingering scent of Jack Daniel’s. That should be unappealing. She tries very hard to convince herself that it is unappealing.
After a moment or two of attempting to listen to the conversations happening around her but ultimately zoning out, Schlatt nudges her arm gently, drawing her attention.
“You okay?’ he says, voice low so that the others can hear.
“Exhausted,” she says. “But I’m fine. I’m great actually. It’s good to finally see you.”
Schlatt’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he schools his face back into the neutral expression that it wore before.
“You too,” he says quietly. She waits for the joke or teasing insult to come, but nothing does. Just comfortable silence and the feeling of his arm against hers.
By the time the pizza arrives, she has worked up enough energy to properly engage in conversation, and is deep in discussion with Schlatt, Charlie, and Quackity about the merits and downfalls of Burger King.
“It’s not the finest establishment in the world,” Charlie says, “but it serves its purpose.”
“It’s good if you want something big and sloppy,” she says, nodding her head seriously.
“You want big and sloppy?” says Schlatt, barely stifling a laugh. “I’m right here.”
“Pizza has arrived!” Tommy shouts from the front door, trying his best to carry several large, steaming pizza boxes in his arms.
Once the pizza has been eaten and everyone's eyelids have begun to droop, Phil announces that he and Kristen are heading to bed. That seems to be the cue that everyone else needs, because slowly others begin to get to their feet and stretch, retiring to their rooms.
Soon, only she and Schlatt are left, traversing the dimly lit living room on their way to the stairs. All of the bedrooms are located on the second floor, with the lower floor being reserved for the living room, a rec room, a laundry, and the kitchen.
It is just as they are passing through the kitchen that Schlatt catches her arm. She halts in her steps in front of the marbled countertop and turns to face him. She can barely make out his expression in the dim light, but what she can make out is soft and earnest.
“Hey,” he says simply.
“Hey,” she looks up at him quizzically. “What’s up?”
“Um.” He seems quiet again, almost nervous, the way he was at the airport. “I know we’ve been joking around, but it really is good to see you. I’ve been looking forward to this for a while.”
For a moment, her breath catches in her throat. As her eyes adjust to the darkness, she can see that some strands of hair have escaped from his headband, curling in front of his face. She has to clench her hand into a fist to stop herself from reaching out and pushing it back.
“Me too,” she says. “It doesn’t feel real.”
Schlatt huffs out a laugh. “I feel the same way.”
He pauses then, teetering for a moment, as though he’s making a decision. Then he quickly leans forward, pulling her into a tight hug. Her cheek squishes against his chest and she can smell that honey-cologne smell on his sweater.
He pulls back. Then, with an awkward nod, he turns and makes his way up the stairs.
The kitchen hums softly with the sound of appliances whirring away, the dishwasher rinsing their plates from the pizza earlier. The analog clock on the microwave flashes red, reflecting against the shining surface of the refrigerator.
I feel the same way, Schlatt had said.
She lets out a bitter laugh, palms pressed against the cool marble of the kitchen counter.
No, you don’t, she thinks. That’s the problem.
*
When she wakes the next morning, the house is quiet.
She tiptoes past Tina’s sleeping form where she is splayed out on her bed, snoring softly. The stairs creak as she shuffles down them into the stillness of the downstairs area.
Niki appears to be the only other person up, nursing a cup of coffee in the living room, smiling and giving a wave.
“Good morning,” Niki says. “Did you sleep well?”
“I slept okay. You?”
“Not great,” Niki sighs. “Jetlag.”
Niki had taken a plane straight from Germany after visiting her parents, leaving her exhausted. Surely something that is not helped by Tommy bounding into the room, beaming at the sight of other people who are awake.
“Oh, good,” Tommy says, launching himself into an armchair. “People are awake. Tubbo will not get up.”
“You’re sharing a room with Tubbo?” she says, raising an eyebrow. She knew that people were sharing rooms during the trip, but so far the only combination that she knew of was her, Niki and Tina. And, she presumes, Phil and Kristen.
“Yeah,” Tommy beams, as if this is a great victory. “He didn’t want to, but I convinced him.”
“You bullied him into it?”
“Yep!” Tommy says.
The rest of the morning passes slowly, with people emerging from their rooms one by one for a cup of coffee and leftover pizza. Quackity, then Charlie. Phil and Kristen. Ted, Tina, Tubbo.
Schlatt.
He is rumpled from sleep, his hair messy and eyes bleary. He is wearing plaid pajama bottoms and a plain black t-shirt. When he reaches up a hand to push his messy curls out of his face, his arm muscles flex and she has to avert her eyes.
Seven days of this, she thinks. Jesus fucking Christ.
It’s Monday, the first official day of the Super… Funganza… Streaming Party? She can’t exactly keep up with what Tommy is calling it.
Since one of the main points of the stay is to produce content, everyone seems excited to launch right into it. They sit cross legged on the floor in the living room, pitching their ideas and recruiting members for vlogs and streams.
She chimes in a few times and finds herself being roped into several different plans. A baking stream with Niki and Tina. A laser tag vlog for Tommy’s channel with Schlatt, Tubbo, Phil, and Charlie. A You Laugh, You Lose with Quackity. A minecraft stream with Tubbo. Making terrible smoothies with Ted and Schlatt. A cat cafe vlog with Tina, Niki, and Tubbo. A giant haunted house vlog with everyone.
There are a few other plans being tossed around and worked on, but she feels as though she’s reached her limit, so she relaxes back against the sofa she is leaning on and opts to listen in.
There is still a small part of her that fears the viewers won’t actually want her in the content, causing her to worry briefly about committing to so many plans. It’s hard to feel insecure, though, when Tommy is begging her to participate in a ‘pickpocketing civilians vlog’ with him, and Tubbo is rambling about how he wants her to stay on his stream for the whole 8 hours.
By the time the afternoon rolls around, a few groups of people have left to film content. Tubbo and Tommy are out in the city somewhere, under the watchful eye of Phil and Kristen. Tina and Niki are streaming in one of the upstairs rooms, doing some sort of blind makeup challenge.
She has no idea where Quackity and Charlie have gotten off to, but after returning to the living room with a glass of water from the kitchen, only Schlatt and Ted are left.
“We were just saying,” Ted says, “if we go to the supermarket now we can film the smoothie video in a couple of hours. Is that okay?”
She nods, downing her water in a few gulps. “I’ll just get my coat.”
And so it begins.
*
Schlatt makes a face at the murky brown smooth that he holds. “I am not drinking this.”
“You have to,” Ted chuckles. “You signed up for this. And you were the one who added the dish soap.”
“Even the smell is making me wanna hurl,” Schlatt complains.
She snorts, crossing her arms. “Stop being a pussy, Schlatt.”
“Yeah? Why don’t you come kiss me about it?”
“C’mon now,” Ted groans. “This is my video and I feel like I shouldn’t be here.”
“You shouldn’t,” Schlatt deadpans. “We’re about to fuck.”
She rolls her eyes. Ted lets out a long suffering sigh. Schlatt drinks the smoothie.
*
The cleanup seems to take longer than the actual video recording. Since, as Ted claimed, ‘the fans are waiting patiently’ for content, he got a free pass to go and edit the video so he can post it as soon as possible. This left her and Schlatt to clean up the kitchen alone.
There is sludge in a range of different colors coating almost every surface in the kitchen. Banana peels litter the countertop, a half drunk bottle of vodka sits in the sink, and there is a cocoa powder handprint on one of the cabinets.
“Dude,” Schlatt says, looking around the room. “This is bullshit.”
“To be fair, we are the ones that did this,” she says. “Is that mayonnaise on the floor?”
Schlatt peers down at the spot on the floor, scrutinizing it.
“That’s cum,” he says flatly.
“Damn,” she says. “Ted gets really excited when he’s making silly food videos, huh?”
Schlatt snorts and crouches down with a paper towel in hand, trying his best to scoop the mayonnaise up.
“Ew,” he whines. “I touched it.”
“Poor baby,” she deadpans, reaching for the paper towels.
They clean in silence for a few minutes, focused on trying to get the place looking as spotless as possible. They are not going to be the reason why the group has to chip in to cover an extra cleaning fee.
With each wipe and scrub, the kitchen slowly began to regain its former semblance of order. Yet, amidst the chaos, they discovered more surprises — stray sprinkles hiding under the toaster, a rogue slice of cheese stuck to the ceiling.
Schlatt carefully lifts the open bag of cocoa powder in his hands, walking towards the trash can. He’s just a few steps away when he loses his grip, the bag falling to the ground and exploding in a cloud of dust.
There is a moment of stunned silence as they both stare at the mess on the floor before she cracks, letting out a startled laugh.
“Nice going, genius,” she says as Schlatt remains frozen in place. The comment drags him out of his stupor and he turns, raising an eyebrow.
Before she can react, he’s crouched down to grab a handful of the cocoa powder, advancing towards her. Schlatt's eyes sparkle as he approaches her, his hand coated in cocoa powder.
“Schlatt,” she says bracingly. “C’mon, don’t do this.”
But Schlatt is relentless, his grin widening as he closes the distance between them. With a swift movement, he flicks his hand, sending a cloud of cocoa powder in her direction. She squeals and tries to shield herself, but it's too late. She's enveloped in a haze of cocoa dust, her hair and clothes now speckled with brown.
“What is your issue?” she says, but she can’t help the laugh that laces her words. She sidesteps around him, scooping up her own handful of powder and launching it at him.
The fight that ensues next looks like something straight out of a sitcom, or a cheesy romance movie. Except, well… it’s Schlatt, so there is significantly more swearing and death threats.
By the time the powder has stopped flying through the air, they are both fairly breathless from running across the kitchen.
“Stop, stop,” she says, leaning her head briefly against the counter. “Let’s call a truce.”
Schlatt grins, opening his fist and letting the handful of cocoa powder he was holding drift to the floor.
“So, I win?”
“Sure,” she huffs. “You win.”
Schlatt does a victory whoop and dusts his hands off, trying to clean the powder off them. He walks around the side of the counter, eyes scanning her face. He lets out a quiet laugh and shakes his head.
“C’mere,” he says, motioning her forward.
She raises an eyebrow in confusion but moves forward regardless, standing in front of him expectantly, arms crossed.
“You’ve got some…” Schlatt raises a hand to her cheek, smoothing his thumb along the space beneath her eye. When he pulls it away, there is a thin layer of dust on it.
He is suddenly much closer than she remembers her being, so close she can feel the warmth radiating off his body. His sweater is rumpled and quite frankly completely destroyed with the powder. There are small flecks of cocoa on his cheeks and arms.
“Oh, thanks,” she manages to choke out, humiliated by how her voice wavers.
For a moment, nobody says anything. Neither of them move. She doesn’t even think she’s breathing. Her heart hammers so loudly in her chest, she thinks that he must be able to hear it.
Schlatt makes a slight movement, then, shifting forward into her space. Before she can find out what his intentions are, there is a clatter and the sound of voices in the living room.
“We’re back!” That’s Tommy’s voice, followed by the sound of footsteps as the others enter the house and make their way through the living room.
Schlatt jerks backwards as if he’s been burnt, putting a few steps of distance between them. His eyes are wide and there is a flush of color under the cocoa flecks on his cheeks.
They lock eyes for a moment, and she opens her mouth but is abruptly interrupted by a voice at the entrance to the kitchen.
“What the fuck,” Tubbo says, mouth agape. “What did you do to the kitchen?”
*
alice @nivisonslay
DID Y’ALL SEE TEDS NEW VID
ari @schlatters
The way Schlatt looks at her… sleeping on the highway tonight everyone
sara! @luvnihachuu
i’m sorry schlatt you two are about to WHAT?
grayson @slimecircles
ted “third wheel” nivison baby i am so sorry… imma get u out of there
jay @philzanation
schlatt: i will never drink this in a million years
schlatt when his crush tells him to drink it: okay i mean it probably won't even be that bad like…
kara @schlattnations
The fucking tension in that video oh I WON!!! WE ARE SOOO FUCKING BACK
*
Day two begins with the blare of an alarm clock.
She has a fairly busy day ahead of her. There’s the laser tag vlog to film for Tommy’s channel during the first half of the day, then a You Laugh, You Lose stream with Quackity in the evening.
Rolling out of bed, she kneels down beside her open suitcase and rummages through it for an appropriate outfit. Tommy had given her, Schlatt, Phil, Tubbo and Charlie a debrief the night before, telling them that they were taking this ‘fuckin’ serious’, and that everyone was to wear their best ‘soldier outfits’.
She’s not exactly sure what that entails, but she has a pair of wide-leg black pants and a dark green t-shirt, and that's about as good as it's going to get. Packing a ‘soldier outfit’ didn’t exactly cross her mind when she was preparing for the trip. Sorry, Tommy.
When she gets down to the living room she finds that the others have congregated there and are chatting amongst each other. Everyone seems to be wearing some variation of an all black outfit, apart from Tommy, who for some reason has a camouflage vest on.
Schlatt is wearing black cargo pants and a plain black t-shirt, looking absurdly handsome. She drops down on the sofa next to him, tuning into the conversation.
“We’ve already got the teams sorted,” Tommy says to her. “It’s me, you and Schlatt versus Phil, Tubbo and Charlie.”
Of course she’s with Schlatt, with him looking the way he does. That won’t be a distraction at all.
“Sounds good,” she says. “When do we leave?”
They take two Ubers, one team in each, leaving her sitting next to Schlatt, with Tommy in the front seat. Naturally.
Thankfully, it’s a short drive and the morning air is cool and crisp when she exits the car, helping to clear her head. She feels pretty good about this vlog. She loves laser tag and isn’t too bad at it, all things considered.
They get set up fairly quickly, getting the all clear to film their experience. Tommy had handed out shitty little go-pro cameras to them to attach to the front of their vests. They are absolutely knock-offs, and she isn’t sure how good the quality is going to be, but if it’s good enough for Tommy, then it’s good enough for her.
The staff kits them out with guns and laser tag vests. The straps on hers are a little loose, causing the vest to shift uncomfortably when she moves. She struggles with the metal tabs on the side for a moment, trying to tighten it.
“Here, I got it.” Schlatt strides over to her, decked out in his gear.
He looks even broader in his vest, taller too, somehow. He has his gun slung over his shoulder, his hair pushed back once again with a wire headband, to keep it out of his face.
He pulls the fabric at the side of her vest through the metal tabs, tightening it slightly.
“Is that good?” he asks, tugging at the straps of the vest.
“It…” Words seem to leave her mind for a moment, a thick fog rolling through her brain. He is standing so close. “Yep! Great.”
There is a prickling heat running along her palms and she distracts herself by grabbing her gun off the counter next to her and pulling the strap over her head.
“Ready, everyone?” Tommy calls, waving them all over to the entrance door. Everyone makes their way over, forming a huddle around Tommy.
She clips the go-pro to the pocket of her vest, adjusting it so that it will remain steady as she runs. It’s fairly unobtrusive and lightweight. She has to hand it to Tommy, this is a pretty great idea.
“Alright,” Tommy says. “I don’t really have any bits or jokes I want to do specifically when we’re out there. Just do whatever. Make sure the light on your camera is always green, though. That’s about it.”
The arena is dark when they step in, lit only by LEDS that glow on the ceiling, changing color every now and then. She follows Tommy and Schlatt over to their home base, which is just a small area separated from the rest of the arena by large, foam blocks.
“This is it, soldiers,” Tommy says, switching into content mode. “This is the day that we win!”
“Captain, I don’t wanna,” Schlatt complains. “I’m tired.”
“Captain, my tummy hurts,” she adds. “I wanna go home.”
“Too bad!” Tommy calls, before doing a very poor attempt at a forward roll. “Get out there, soldiers.”
The start of game buzzer rings loudly overhead. She exchanges a look with Tommy and Schlatt before hoisting her gun into her arms and taking off at a sprint towards the opposing team.
*
The bruises are already beginning to form as she steps into the shower that afternoon.
Most of them from her dramatic forward rolls and dropping to her knees to shoot at the other team. She’ll likely have one on her arm from when she shoulder checked Charlie, sending them both toppling to the ground. Definitely one on her leg from when she tripped over a foam block that Tubbo had strategically placed at the entrance to their base in order to catch someone off guard.
Sneaky little shit.
She can’t seem to bring herself to mind all of the aches and pains, though. The whole experience was incredibly fun, especially considering that her team won two out of three rounds. Schlatt seemed to just be a natural with a gun, hitting the others dead center every time.
What Tommy lacked in shooting skills, he made up for in speed and distraction, racing all over the arena and luring the others out of hiding places so that she or Schlatt could shoot them.
She didn’t do too badly herself, even getting the final kill at the end of the third round, causing Schlatt to tackle her in a victory hug. She wonders if Tommy will keep that in the video.
After her shower, she quickly blow dries her hair and changes into a pair of sweatpants and plain t-shirt, not wanting to keep Quackity waiting.
They were streaming in one of the upstairs offices, where there was a large desk with a PC, camera, and microphone set up. She arrives with about five minutes to spare, getting comfortable in the chair next to Quackity as he sets up the mediashare and prepares a tweet.
They chat for a while as they get ready to begin. She realizes at this moment what a bad idea it was to agree to do a You Laugh, You Lose with Quackity of all people. That guy can make her laugh without even trying. She gets the feeling that this is going to be a very short stream.
To her surprise, they manage to last quite a long time. By the time one hour has passed, they still have three of their five lives. Not too shabby, especially considering Quackity’s chat was being quite funny.
They sat through a few more classic clips, including the iconic cat falling off a wheelchair, autotuned whale noises, and Tommy Wiseau introducing the new Joker. It’s quite easy not to laugh at clips like that, but a bit harder to not laugh at Quackity’s comments.
After a while, the chat decides to give up on making them laugh and starts sending them random videos that they want them to see. The animatics start to roll in, as do the compilation videos.
A 10 second video pops up on screen, clipped from a longer compilation of Schlatt ‘flirting’ with her for 12 minutes straight.
In the clip, Schlatt is begging her to visit him in real life so that he can take her out on a date. She raises an eyebrow at the clip, eyes scanning the chat.
“Am I supposed to laugh at this?” she asks. “It’s Schlatt. He’s not funny.”
“It’s kind of funny,” Quackity says. “He was begging for it to happen, and now it happened.”
“Huh?” she says, spinning in her seat to face Quackity. There is a heat in her cheeks that she hopes to God is not visible on camera. “He didn’t take me on a date.”
“No, no,” Quackity presses his mouth closed for a moment, barely holding in a laugh. “I mean, you two met in real life.”
“Oh,” she hums, watching as a new clip rolls in of a cat falling into a laundry hamper.
“Trust me, I know that he hasn’t taken you out on a date,” Quackity says. “He’s a pussy.”
“So true, king,” she agrees, trying not to think too hard about the idea of actually going on a date with Schlatt. That weird churning feeling creeps back into her gut, but she forces it back down.
The rest of the stream passes fairly quickly, with them losing their lives pretty rapidly after that. A final clip of an orange cat silently giving the camera side-eye claims their last life, and Quackity hits the end stream button while still laughing.
“Stupid fucking cat,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes.
“It’s always the dumbest fucking clips that get me,” Quackity says, signing out of his Twitch and closing the rest of the tabs he had open.
Once he has closed down all of the software, Quackity sighs and leans back in his chair.
“Hey,” he says. “I just thought I’d ask… you and Schlatt aren’t actually dating, right? I never know if I should joke about it or not when chat brings it up.”
She forces out a laugh that sounds flat, even to her.
“No,” she says. “We definitely aren’t.”
*
ally @quackh8r
no because she is definitely dating schlatt cuz like. why did she go so red when Quackity mentioned him taking her on a date HELP
mari @patitohq
who donated that schlatt clip bro she was fighting for her life 😭
sariah! @cquackluvr
quackity (known liar): yeah schlatt definitely hasnt taken you on a date *extensive pause* anyway!
kara @schlattnations
Her fucking FACE when Q said that… I’M TELLING Y’ALL I’M TELLINGGGG YOU!!!
charlie @tommyrights
“he did not take me on a date” me when i lie
*
The morning of day three is slower and far more relaxed than the previous day.
The only solid plans that she has is a baking stream on Tina’s channel with her and Niki, as well as a stream with Tubbo later in the evening. Although, knowing Tubbo, it will probably be well into the night.
It is around lunch by the time they claim the kitchen to start the baking stream. Tina sets up a camera on the bench, clicking around on her laptop to get her stream set up.
They spend a few hours streaming, baking misshaped cookies and covering them in icing. While the kitchen isn’t the tidiest by the time they’ve finished, it’s nothing compared to the aftermath of Ted’s video.
Cleanup only takes around half an hour, leaving her with the rest of the day free until she appears on Tubbo’s stream in the evening.
After a quick shower, she changes into a comfortable t-shirt and a pair of shorts, ready to bask in the first truly warm day since she had arrived. The sun is beaming down and a few people have gathered out on the patio.
Schlatt, Ted, Charlie, and Tommy are outside, relaxing on the outdoor furniture and chatting. There is a huge jug of some type of juice on the table and a stack of plastic cups.
“Hey,” Charlie greets when he sees her. “You gonna join us?”
“Yeah,” she says, stepping out of the doorway and claiming a seat next to Schlatt on one of the two seater chairs. His feet are kicked up on the table in front of him, a cup in his hand.“What are you guys up to?”
“Sharing embarrassing secrets,” Tommy says. “It’s your turn.”
“Absolutely not,” she turns to the others. “What was Tommy’s?”
“Don’t tell her,” Tommy instructs.
“He tried to pick up a girl by quoting Schlatt at her,” Ted says.
She laughs, leaning forward to pour herself a cup of whatever was in the jug. “Tommy, are you an idiot?”
“No, I’m a romantic,” Tommy says. “Ted said that in college he tripped in front of his crush and gave himself a nosebleed.”
“Hey, why are we turning this on me?” Ted says. “Charlie had a way more embarrassing story about acting stupid in front of a crush.”
Charlie snorts, choosing not to elaborate further. Tommy turns to Schlatt, raising an eyebrow, excited to get some embarrassing stories out of his childhood hero.
“What about you Schlatt? What do you do when you have a crush?”
A sick sort of feeling fills her stomach at the thought of Schlatt having a crush. Of some mystery girl sweeping him up and stealing him away.
“I don’t know,” Schlatt says. “I just get kinda awkward”
“You’re always awkward,” she says, rolling her eyes.
Ted lets out a quiet snort. “Yeah, think about that one a little more.”
Schlatt shoots Ted a glare, which shuts him up. She looks between the two of them, trying to puzzle out the interaction, but is interrupted by Tubbo poking his head out the door.
“Hey,” Tubbo says to her. “I’m going out with Phil for a while. Are you down to start the stream at around 8pm?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” she says, taking a sip of her drink.
There is definitely a hint of some kind of alcohol in it, vodka probably, but it isn’t strong enough for her to worry about being too drunk to stream. Judging by the low alcohol content, she deduces that it definitely wasn’t Schlatt who mixed this drink.
She spends the rest of the afternoon outside on the patio, sipping drinks and chatting with the others. Schlatt’s arm remains pressed up against hers the entire time. It’s very distracting.
Eventually, Tubbo returns home and she joins him as he sets up his stream. The next few hours are spent chatting, reacting to mediashares, and answering chat messages while Tubbo jumps around in a Minecraft world.
It’s a very chill stream and she finds her eyelids growing heavy very quickly as the night goes on. Luckily, Tubbo seems to be feeling the same way, because he elects to end the stream after a few hours.
After chatting with Tubbo for a while, she heads upstairs, collapsing in her bed and falling asleep almost immediately, the sound of Niki and Tina’s even breaths lulling her to sleep.
In the dream, Schlatt is standing in front of her on a beach. It is dark and she can barely make out anything in the dim light. The stars are shining with a white glow above as the strong wind whips up the surface of the ocean.
“Come here,” Schlatt is saying.
The waves crash loudly against the rocks and some birds screech overhead, swooping low circles over the midnight sea.
“Why?”
Schlatt moves closer, takes her hands in his. They are warm and solid as the cold wind whips around her, stinging the back of her neck.
“Because I’m going to kiss you,” he says simply.
Suddenly she doesn’t feel cold at all. She feels very, very warm. Schlatt moves closer still, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
It’s at this point that she wakes up.
*
Not a great start to the day, she thinks, pressing her eyes closed and willing herself to return to the dream.
The birds outside are chirping loudly and she can hear shuffling as Niki and Tina get ready for the day. She gives up on trying to fall back asleep and gets out of bed, getting herself ready.
She has plans with Niki, Tina, and Tubbo to visit a cat cafe, which Niki wants to vlog for her channel. There is time for a quick breakfast before they leave, so she eats some toast in the kitchen with Tubbo before they head out.
The cat cafe experience is extremely fun and she has a great time playing with all of the cats, but the day itself seems to pass by in a blur. Maybe she really did need that extra bit of sleep. She feels tired and hazy through most of the morning, but tries not to let it show. She doesn’t want to ruin Niki’s recording.
By the time they all return to the house, she’s just about ready to collapse. After chatting with the others for a while she heads for the staircase, hoping to have a quick nap. She runs into Schlatt at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey,” he says, smiling when he sees her. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“I was out with Niki and the others,” she says. “What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you wanted to join me on stream later,” he says, leaning against the wall behind him. “It feels crazy for us to meet up and not stream together.”
Now that she thinks about it, the lack of online content between her and Schlatt must be driving the viewers crazy.
“I’m down,” she says. “When are you streaming?”
“A bit later,” he says. “Around 7?”
They make a plan to meet in Schlatt’s room a bit before the stream, and she makes a beeline to her bedroom. A nap is now entirely out of the question. She is too keyed up, thinking about the upcoming stream.
As soon as that camera is on, Schlatt is going to dive right into the flirting bit that he does with her. She has no idea how she’s going to handle that in person. Before the trip, she had thought that him not flirting with her was going to be the issue.
In reality, everything has felt natural between them. He hasn’t been doing his usual on-stream bit where he asks her out every five minutes, but nothing has felt uncomfortable, like she feared that it might. She just hopes this stream will feel the same.
The dream from last night has done nothing to calm her nerves. She keeps replaying it in her head. It felt so real. The wind on her skin, his hands against hers.
Rather than taking a nap, she spends the time before the stream getting into a nicer outfit and putting on a bit of makeup. She definitely doesn’t want to appear as though she’d put in a great deal of effort, but she can’t help but want to catch Schlatt’s attention, even for a moment.
Around ten minutes before the stream is about to start she makes her way over to the office with the PC setup. Schlatt is in there at the large desk in the corner, setting the stream up and checking the lighting.
“Hey,” Schlatt says, looking up at her. He pauses for a moment, taking in her appearance before letting out a surprised laugh. “I like your sweater.”
She was wearing an old sweater she had gotten from the thrift store. It was a huge, dark blue thing with a faded print of the twin towers on the front with the text ‘Never Forget’ emblazoned underneath.
She grins back. “I felt that it was fitting.”
The long awaited stream starts off great, with the viewers flooding in faster than she had ever seen before. It’s a little intimidating, but she tries not to let it shake her.
They spend most of the stream just chatting, answering questions and text to speech donations. She gets more comfortable as the stream goes on, tucking her knees up to her chest as she and Schlatt launch into a debate about pigeons.
“They’re fuckin’ pests,” Schlatt says. “Nasty little creatures.”
“They’re cute,” she argues. “Have you ever seen a pigeon nest? It’s just like… three sticks on the ground. They don’t know how to do anything.”
“Cuz they’re stupid,” says Schlatt.
“That doesn’t mean they aren’t cute!” she counters.
“Case in point,” Schlatt says, pointing at her. “Cute and stupid.”
The familiar heat that has been burning across her cheeks all week makes an unwelcome return, and this time she can’t disguise it through a pixelated Discord call.
“Stupid and stupid,” she says, pointing back at Schlatt.
It isn’t the greatest comeback of all time, but she’s finding it a little hard to get her brain to work properly.
The chat is speeding by, flurried of ‘HE SAID WHAT’ and ‘do u want us to leave u two alone..?’ flooding the screen. Even she has to admit, that joke wasn’t like Schlatt’s usual flirting. Cute is not a word he’d often use. More often it was ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’.
Even so, Schlatt continues on talking as though nothing has happened, so she follows suit. It is hard to find a chat message that isn’t a comment on what just happened, but they manage to find one and latch onto it, smoothly getting the stream back on track.
By the time they hit the two hour mark they’re both crashing. Schlatt had flirted with her a bit more throughout the stream, but all of the comments stuck to the usual theme that defined their dynamic. Jokes about her ‘wanting him so bad’, comments about their inevitable marriage and her life as a trophy wife, the usual.
She managed to control her reactions for the most part. She just hopes she did a good enough job.
*
kara @schlattnations
No bc if you don’t believe that they are together now then you are just delusional. HE TALKED ABOUT MARRYING HER
alyssa! @fooshenjoyr
“cute and stupid” WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO BE HAPPY
kai @schlaggbot
just logged on after missing the stream. what do u MEAN he called her his ‘future wife’ 😭
cody @kinginnitr
schlatt was lowkey so awkward the entire time LMFAO big man is head over heels
bea @llasnevadas
She went so red every time schlatt complimented her. Throwing myself off a bridge </3
*
The final vlog that they have planned is a big one.
It’s for Tommy’s channel, and he has requested that they all go to a haunted house. She doesn’t particularly like scary things, but Tommy seems so excited, and she figures that it won’t be nearly as scary with a huge group of people.
The plan is for everyone to wear their own go-pro type camera, just like they did for laser tag. Apparently the footage that they captured during the game was surprisingly high-quality, so Tommy is keen to give it another go.
They head out at around lunch time, arriving at the haunted house and heading into the lobby. They get the regular debrief, do not touch the workers, shout the safe word if you want to leave, all of the usual stuff.
The only thing that really piqued her interest is the fact that the place is supposedly built on top of an actual old insane asylum. That kind of freaks her out, just a little bit.
Once they’ve got the all clear from the staff to film the experience they secure the cameras onto their clothes. She clips hers onto the front of her sweater, securing the strap around her waist. Some of the others elect to just hold theirs. Charlie has attempted to secure his camera around his head.
The first few rooms aren’t too bad, all things considered. She sticks primarily to the back of the group, wedged between Schlatt and Phil. The people leading the pack, Tommy and Charlie, get the brunt of the jumpscares.
It’s not until the fifth room that her adrenaline starts pumping a bit more. She guesses some of the workers have noticed that the people at the back of the group aren’t getting as scared, because as she enters the room, a man with horrifically gory SFX makeup runs right at her.
There is a gap to her right, where Phil has moved a little further up in the group, and the man runs straight at it, making as if to grab her.
She lets out an involuntary squeal and jumps backwards, knocking into Schlatt who was walking to her left.
At that moment, a few different things happen at once. The haunted house worker lets out a growl, there is a commotion at the front of the room as Tommy also gets jumpscared, and she finds herself suddenly standing behind Schlatt as he sweeps her behind him with his arm, putting his body between her and the worker.
She immediately feels very flustered and very stupid. The workers aren’t allowed to touch them, she knows that. But the way that Schlatt had stepped in front of her with no hesitation, blocking the worker from her with his body, is so overwhelmingly endearing.
The rest of the group has walked on a little bit and she glances at Schlatt. “Thank you.”
“It’s fine,” says Schlatt, herding her towards the others with a hand on her back. “You good?”
“Yeah,” she lets out a shaky laugh. “I’m fine. He just came out of nowhere.”
She feels something brush against her hand and she almost jumps before she realizes that it's just Schlatt’s hand, searching for hers in the dark. He interlaces their fingers together, his palm against hers.
If there were ever a place for her heart to completely stop, a haunted house was sure it. She glances at him out of the corner of her eye, wanting to catch his expression but not wanting to do anything that would cause him to let go.
It’s far too dark to make out anything, which is both a good and bad thing for her. At least nobody else in the group will be able to see what is going on with them. She just hopes that their go-pro’s don’t pick it up.
They make their way through the next few rooms like that, Schlatt not letting go of her hand once. He gives her hand the occasional reassuring squeeze when he feels her flinch at sudden jumpscares. It is so incredibly sweet, she feels sick with it.
It is only when they emerge into the light at the end of the haunted house that Schlatt finally drops her hand, shoving his own hand into his pocket as they join the rest of the group. When she catches his eye for a moment, his cheeks are flushed and he quickly averts his gaze.
The group has a bit of a debrief outside, talking about the experience and detaching their cameras. Luckily, nobody seems to have noticed that her and Schlatt had been lagging behind the rest of the group, their hands interlocked. Well, she thought nobody had noticed.
That was until Tommy came bounding up to her a few minutes later, an awkward grin on his face.
“So,” he says, “did you want me to get my editor to cut out you and Schlatt holding hands?”
*
The night before everyone leaves, they decide to throw a party.
It’s their final farewell and they want it to be memorable. The idea was posed by Tommy in the morning, and by mid-afternoon everyone is hard at work preparing for the night ahead. Phil, Kristen, Tubbo and Tommy had gone off to buy food. Ted, Quackity, Charlie and Schlatt were picking up some alcohol.
She remained at the house with Tina and Niki, tidying a little and stringing up makeshift decorations made of paper. They set up a punch bowl in the kitchen and drag some bean bags out of the rec room and into the living room.
Once they have deemed the downstairs area clean and well decorated they head upstairs, starting to get ready. It’s a good thing she planned for everything when packing, because she has a nice dress tucked away at the bottom of her suitcase.
It’s a simple little black dress, which she had chosen simply because she knew it would look good with everything. She puts it on and adds some gold jewelry before sitting cross legged in front of Niki and her curling wand, the other girl having graciously offered to add some soft curls in her hair.
They take a bit longer getting ready than they intend to. Tina is stuck choosing between a light blue dress and a pretty white blouse with a brown mini skirt. Niki messes up while doing her eyeliner and enlists the others' help to get it even.
By the time the three of them had finished getting ready, the party downstairs seems to have already started. Music is blaring as they descend the stairs and all of the doors are wide open, letting in the fresh air and late evening sunlight.
She makes her way across the living room, running into Schlatt as he enters the house through the patio doors. He looks incredibly good in a pair of black shorts and a NYC college hoodie. He has his usual headband in his hair, some loose curls escaping at the front, as they always do.
“Hey, beautiful,” he says, stopping in his tracks looking her up and down. “I was wondering where you were.”
“Are you drunk already?” she asks, tilting her head to one side.
He laughs, shaking his head. “I was actually just heading inside to get my first drink. Care to join me?”
She follows him through the living room and into the kitchen, where the punch bowl that they had laid out earlier has now been filled by a bright orange liquid.
“What’s in there?” she asks, sniffing at the bowl. It smells very strongly of fruit and various alcohols.
“A lot of shit,” Schlatt says, scooping a ladle of it into a cup and offering it to her. “You want some?”
“Why not?” She takes the cup, taking a sip of it before wincing. “God, that is strong.”
Schlatt fills a cup for himself, throwing his head back and downing half of it at once. “Yeah, tastes like ass, though.”
“Taste a lot of ass, do you?” she says.
“If you would fucking let me,” he replies, heading to the fridge. “I have these, anyway.”
He pulls out a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a crate of beer. She places her cup of orange mixture down and reaches her hand out.
“Please, give me anything other than this,” she begs.
He huffs out a laugh and hands her the bottle of Jack Daniel’s, which she takes a deep swig of. It’s the Tennessee Honey kind, she realizes as the taste of sweet syrup hits her tongue. It’s a nice break from the strange combination of flavors that were in the punch.
She hands the bottle back to Schlatt, who places a bottle of beer in her now free hand.
“C’mon,” he says. “Quackity and Charlie are trying to play beer pong outside and it is not going well.”
She joins him on the two-seater outside, watching as Quackity and Charlie, for some reason both wearing Hawaiian shirts, as they repeatedly fail to sink ping pong balls into solo cups. There are a few other people outside too, ones she doesn't recognise, and she vaguely remembers Ted and Schlatt extending the party invite to some other people they knew in the area.
The setting sun is warm on her face and she struggles with the cap of her beer for a moment, trying and failing to open it.
“Here,” Schlatt offers, taking the bottle and easily twisting the cap off in the crook of his arm.
He offers the bottle back to her and she stares at him stupidly for a moment before she is able to kick her brain back into gear and take it from him.
She turns her attention back to the game, trying to ignore the heat that she can feel climbing the back of her neck. The last of the sun's rays are hot against her skin, which doesn’t help matters much.
Neither does the smoke from the blunt that is being passed around, from Ted, to Schlatt, to her, then back again. It’s not particularly strong stuff, likely due to Ted’s experience with smoking too much weed, but it does dry her mouth out. She finds herself drinking her beer much faster than she intended to.
The smoke also makes her mind foggy, which is not a great thing to happen when she is sitting so close to Schlatt. Him wearing shorts and her wearing a dress mean that their bare legs are pressed together and she feels like she is on fire where his skin touches hers. Every time he moves, his arm brushes against hers, sending sparks up her body.
She goes to take another swig of beer, only to find that there is none left.
Tapping Schlatt on the arm, she gestures to her empty bottle. “I’m going to go and try stomach some more of that punch.”
Schlatt looks at the empty bottle. “Damn, you drink even faster than me. Have another beer if you want.”
“Thank you,” she says gratefully, getting to her feet and making her way back through the crowded living room.
The sun is sitting much lower in the sky now, the entire living room bathed in orange light. Tommy and Tubbo are deep in conversion on the living room floor, leaning close in order to hear each other over the music. Phil and Niki are setting up what appears to be some type of karaoke game on the TV.
There are a few people inside that she doesn’t know. Probably some of the people that Schlatt and Ted invited.
She doesn’t even make it to the kitchen before she is stopped by one of them. She has no idea who he is. He seems to be thinking the same thing, because he leans in to speak to her.
“I don’t think we’ve met, have we?” the man asks, leaning in to be heard over the music.
Obviously not, she thinks. Who the fuck are you?
“No, we haven’t,” she peers over his shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of anyone that she actually knows.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you.” The man places his hand on the wall behind her, leaning in even closer. Far too close, if she’s being honest.
“Mhm,” she hums, trying to convey his disinterest.
“You want a game of beer pong?” he asks. She can smell the stench of beer and cigarettes on his breath. “Or we could hang out upstairs?”
Never in a million years.
She is saved having to answer by a voice from behind the man, calling out her name.
“Schlatt?” she says, locking eyes with him.
The man removes his hand from the wall, turning to look at Schlatt. “Oh, hey dude! Good to see you.”
“Yeah,” Schlatt says flatly, not even bothering to look at him. “Can I borrow my girlfriend for a second?”
There is a heavy pause before the man lets out an awkward chuckle and finally steps away. “Shit, sorry man. I didn’t know she was your girlfriend.”
“Mhm,” Schlatt still doesn’t turn to face the man, instead holding his hand out to her in offering.
It’s the perfect escape to the situation, and she takes it gladly. To get out of the awkward encounter, of course. No other reason.
Schlatt leads her through the crowded living room, all the way up the staircase and into the room that he has been sharing with Ted.
The room is dimly lit from the glow of a PC that has been left switched on at the desk. Both beds are fairly messy, with blankets strewn across them and suitcases laying open, half-packed on the floor.
Once they have entered the room, Schlatt closes the door behind them, muffling the noise of the party raging downstairs. He stands there for a moment, illuminated by the glow of the PC.
“Schlatt?”
There is a pause. The only sounds in the room are the muffled sounds of music and the whirr of the PC.
“This is so stupid,” Schlatt says suddenly. “You leave tomorrow and I didn’t do anything that I wanted to do.”
“What did you want to do?”
She looks up at him, taking in his appearance. His curls are falling into his face and there is a flush across his cheeks. There is a cast of purple light across his face from the computer, reflecting in his eyes.
He hesitates for a moment, teetering on the edge of something, before taking two quick steps forward and closing the distance between them. His hand comes up to cup her cheek, and she barely has a moment to think before his lips are on hers.
The kiss is soft, aside from the slight scratch of his facial hair, and if she wasn’t in such a state of shock, she would laugh at the fact that his lips taste like Jack Daniel’s.
His hand is warm against her cheek and her own hands instinctively come up to rest against his chest. She can feel his heart beating against her palms, strong and fast.
After a moment, he pulls away, looking surprised at his own actions.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have just–”
“No, no,” she says. “You definitely should have.”
Schlatt stares at her, mouth falling open slightly. She can feel his breathing quicken slightly from where he palms still rest against his chest.
“I like you a lot,” he says suddenly. “So much. I’ve been acting like an idiot all week.”
“You’re always an idiot,” she says. “It’s charming.”
Schlatt blinks once, twice.
“That means I like you, too,” she says, her heart hammering in her chest.
There is a moment of complete stillness, where it feels as though all of the air has been sucked out of the room. It is only when she pulls her hands away from Schlatt that he moves, surging forward and capturing her lips in another kiss.
This kiss is nothing like the first one. It is all teeth and tongue, his hands coming up to grab her waist. Her entire body burns with heat as she reaches a hand up to hold his upper arm, steading herself.
When they break apart, Schlatt stays close, pressing his forehead against hers and panting a little from the lack of air. After a moment he furrows his eyebrows.
“What is it?” she says.
“I just realized, Ted bet me that I wouldn’t make it through the trip without kissing you,” Schlatt says, smiling a little. “I owe him so much money.”
*
By the end of the night, Schlatt has posted a new tweet. It looks like it's going to end up being his most popular one yet.
It is a slightly blurry picture of two people, their faces closer together. The point where their faces meet is obscured by Schlatt’s hand, which is throwing up a middle finger.
Big guy @schlatt tweeted:
I TOLD YOU WE WERE GONNA KISS!!!!! FUCK YOU