Chapter Text
Jinwoo jolts awake and he notices that his face is wet with tears. He sits up on the side of the bed and holds his head up to keep the tears from falling.
It wasn't always easy for Jinwoo to fall asleep. The darkness of the night, coupled with a troubled mind and the loneliness of the heart, makes it difficult for Jinwoo to close his eyes comfortably. He was haunted by the images of his past, terrifying and unpleasant. However, tonight is a bit different, it’s not horrifying, it is just heart-wrenching.
Yuna visited him in his dreams. She had died a little over two years ago, and he had forced himself to stop grieving about her, always thinking that she must be happy now, wherever she is.
But these little reminders, although he would rather not be reminded about it, cause him to relive the despair in losing someone he had treated like his child. She was just too young, she wasn't even able to experience a normal childhood. These thoughts washed over him causing him to weep. It's just so unfair . And he sobbed some more, causing a downward spiral of his thoughts. The love from his mother, of which he had felt for the first time, was taken away quickly, as well. It's unfair . Everything he had was taken away from him. A family, his hearing, his first love. It's as if the gods are deliberately punishing him.
Grief comes and it never really leaves. It stays by one's side, sometimes quiet, and sometimes, unbearable, making one drown and choke in their own tears. Grief is just there, waiting for the time to come out and overwhelm, sometimes when the night is very still and lonely, and even while doing the most mundane things during the day.
The whines from Jinwoo's sobs stirred Moeun awake. She saw his shoulders heaved as he cried. He must have been crying for a while now. Noticing that he was crying, she sat and moved closer beside him.
Jinwoo felt Moeun's movements as she went closer to him. He quickly wiped away his tears and looked at her with a sad smile. He quickly apologized, "Sorry for waking you up."
Moeun carefully looked at his face. Stains of tears are streaked across his cheeks. She looked at his eyes. She had always noticed the sadness that he carried in his eyes, even before, when they first met. As much as Moeun wants to, she knows she cannot take away his misery. At the very least, she wanted to let him know that she'll be there to stay.
She signs to him, "It's okay you can cry as loud as you want."
Moeun caresses Jinwoo's face and looks him in the eye with longing before she speaks and signs, "I'll stay beside you and listen."
It's in these moments that he can truly hear Moeun's words. I'll stay beside you and listen. Jinwoo understood it.
Moeun wipes away some of his tears.
She's here now and he can feel her, breathing and beside him. Holding him and wiping away his tears. He blinks hard but more tears come out.
He can still see Yuna's smile. So vivid, she looks really happy and healthy. So much different from what she looked like in her last days.
Moeun signs to him, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I dreamt of Yuna. She looks happy." Jinwoo signs back, still teary-eyed.
Moeun nods and looks at him with sad eyes. She wipes away more of his tears. She can't help it but tears are pooling at the corner of her eyes. She signs, "I know she's happier now."
Jinwoo smiles and nods, more tears escape from him. Moeun wanted to cry with him but she's trying her best to hold back her tears. His tears are like daggers to her heart, and seeing Jinwoo so inconsolable shattered her heart to pieces.
Moeun cups his face with her small hands. She leans in and kisses him on the forehead. Jinwoo puts his hand over hers as he leans into it. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to remind himself, Yuna's happier now . The warmth of Moeun's touch and words permeates through his heart, giving him comfort.
Even so, the gods must have loved him, still. They gave him Moeun. Even when he never prayed to them for her to appear, they gave her willingly to him.
Moeun signs to him that they should continue sleeping. He nods.
They lie down in the bed, Moeun hugs Jinwoo, putting his head against the crook of her neck. Moeun hears his quiet whimpers and she can feel his warm tears dropping on her shoulder, and she feels a painful squeeze in her heart.
She tightens her hold on him, wishing that by doing it, she can take away some of his sadness so that she can ease some of his pain. She kisses his temple and caresses his hair, in hopes of helping him fall asleep easier.
Moeun does not know it but the nights of terror decreased when she came into Jinwoo’s life. It was easier to close his eyes knowing that he’ll wake up to her in the morning. It became easier to deal with the grief, knowing that someone would be there to embrace him while he weeps.
Jinwoo continued to cry as Moeun held him. He cried, not for Yuna or his unfortunate fate in the past, but for Moeun’s presence in his life. Moeun, who was taken away from him for a moment, is here now. He’s in her arms, not wanting to let him go.
He had stopped praying for a long time when he deemed the gods as cruel. However, tonight, before he fell asleep, his last thought was a prayer, pleading, do not take Moeun away from me.