Chapter Text
Late August…
~~
Wednesday
“Any more questions, Mrs. Norton?”
“No, the cake will be perfect, won’t it Tanner?” The not so elderly lady looks to her grandson that she’s raising. They’ve been coming into her bakery since Mrs. Norton gained custody when he was almost two. Ever since then they come in to get special cakes and desserts to celebrate whatever occasion.
And Rey loves them because they remind her of her mom and her.
“Yes, Meemee.” The soon to be ten-year-old looks up at the silver-haired woman.
“How much do we owe you?”
“It’s on me,” Rey says with a grin. It’s been a good month; they can afford to give them a cake.
“Rey—you do this every year,” Mrs. Norton protests.
“And you can tip us on Thanksgiving for your apple pies.” A wink follows her weak excuse. “I’ll have the cake ready after eleven on Saturday. The party starts at three, right?”
“Yes, ma’am!” Tanner gushes. “We’re going to the trampoline park!”
“That will be amazing,” she agrees.
“And crazy,” Meemee quips. “Come on, Tan-my-man, we have many places to go yet.”
“Bye, Rey.”
“Bye guys.”
Her co-baker and bestie, Rose comes through the swinging doors carrying fresh cookies. “They left. Crap. I was trying to hurry so I could say hello.”
“They’ll be back on Saturday.” She opens the glass display case so Rose can slide the tray in. “They ordered the boy’s birthday cake.”
“He’s growing up too quick.”
“That he is. Is that all the cookies?” Rey asks as Rose peeks at the cake order she just filled out.
“He finally changed it.”
“I was surprised too.” Instead of Tanner ordering his usual chocolate cake with vanilla icing, he ordered the new strawberry crunch cake Rose started making just last month. “I wonder if he’ll change his mind.”
“That kid, I don’t think he will,” Rose muses. “Do you mind if leave early? The back is clean—”
The bell above the front door interrupts her. Years ago, when they first took the baking class on a whim at the community college, neither one of the could’ve guessed they would’ve ended up here—their own bakery and coffee shop on Main Street. Very industrial with brick walls and exposed duct work, they love it. Her adoptive mom, Amilyn and her bestie, Leia decorated while Rose’s mom set-up in the kitchen. Years of owning the family’s Vietnamese restaurant the Tico’s knew exactly how to get a kitchen to run effectively.
And the only reason how they got this shop on Main is because the Solo’s own the entire block. The best part? How they got it. Han, it seems, likes to gamble. Before he met Leia and she made him stop using his money, he won the property from his old friend Lando. Besides the bakery, Han’s garage, a recently vacated one, a fabric store and a yarn shop also occupy the shops while upstairs are several apartments, including hers and Rose’s.
It’s not unusual for them to see Han, and his partner in crime, Uncle Chewy come in for the free coffee, several times a day—that they always have ready for them and their daily doughnut. Rose continues to hang up her apron while they both chime, “Hello—”
“Ladies,” he greets. “Leia wanted me to come in and invite you two over for dinner tonight. And yes, Amilyn is already invited and so are your parents. It’s a little bit of a celebration that I’m not allowed to discuss anymore.”
“Oh really—” Rose quips. “Well if you’re not going to tell us, then no coffee for you.”
“That’s fine, I might actually sleep tonight then. I’m going to start grilling at five, so be there around then.” Han does take the cookie Rey offers him. He brings it to his head and gives her half a salute as if he was wearing a hat.
As soon as the bell announces his departure, Rey’s phone buzzes in her pocket. She already knows who calls when she answers, “Hello, Mother.”
“Rey, the Solo’s are having a cookout tonight, I’m going over there if you need me. Or you can come with me. Your brother is coming too.” When Amilyn was just her foster mom, there was another kid, Finnick. Within weeks, for the first time in a while Amilyn’s felt like home. Finn agreed and they went to go beg Amilyn to keep them. Their foster mom was feeling the same and they all became foster fails. The day they stood before the judge was one of the best ones of her life.
“Well good, I’ll see you then?” Rey answers then to Rose she says, “They invited Mom and Finn too.”
“Let me text Ma and see if they’re going too.” Rose says as she steps back into the kitchen. every time she texts her Ma, Ma always calls instead of texting back.
“Did Han invite you too? I’m not sure why they’re being all secretive, Leia won’t even tell me what’s going on,” Amilyn says. “Finn’s going to meet me there around four-thirty—”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m closing.”
“Alright Sunshine, I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Love you, bye.” Rey still smiles like she did when was ten and said it to Amilyn for the first time.
“Love you, bye.”
“Ma and Da are both going,” Rose says as she comes back through the swinging door.
“Are you?” Rey asks.
“I guess. But I’m not staying late,” Rose warns.
“Jennifer and Hannah are coming to make the doughnuts in the morning. We don’t have to be down here until later.” That later is usually seven a.m. later but it’s still better than five a.m. They were open only a week when the two ladies came in. Moms whose kids have left the nest to go off to jobs and university, they were in the baking class with Rose and Rey. Once they heard that they were opening the bakery, they volunteered to come and make the doughnuts.
“I’m still not staying long—” Rose begins.
“Do you have a date? You have a date, don’t you?” Rey teases.
“Actually—”
“You do?” Rey’s gasp is part disbelief—not that her bestie can’t get a date. She’s wonderful and amazing like only Rose Tico can be. But that she didn’t know. And giggle in happiness for her friend. “This had to have happened today for you not to have told me about it yet.”
“It did. Oh Rey, he’s so cute too. Tall but not too tall, he just moved into town for work. The only place he could find to live is the condo over on Moore Street but he’s looking for a house.”
“What does he do? What does he look like? Does he have a friend?” Rey breathlessly asks.
They giggle together like they did when they were fourteen and starting to notice boys for the first time. “I’m not sure of the job, he just moved here from California. Like I said, he’s tall and you know how I’ve always thought Prince Harry was dreamy? Well Armie has the same red hair with a couple of freckles. As for a friend, I’m not sure but he did get several coffees to go.”
“His name is Armie?”
“Well, it’s actually Armitage Hux. He said everyone calls him Hux, but I asked, I see that look and yes, I asked after he asked me to go out, and I asked if I could call him Armie. He turned as red as his hair but agreed. I can’t wait for you to meet him,” Rose gushes with a huge grin on her face.
“You get to know him first, then I will. I hope he’s almost perfect,” Rey says as she watches her friend. Something is happening and while she can’t exactly name it, she hopes it makes her friend happy. “Go on, get out of here.”
“What are you going to do?” It’s midweek during that weird hour where either they’re busy or nothing.
“Paperwork?” Rey offers.
Rose shrugs. “It’s done for the month. Why don’t you sit down and take a break. You’ve been here since six.”
“That sounds nice too.”
“Call me if you need me?” Rose asks.
“I won’t, but alright. Just bring Hux to the cookout,” Rey teases.
“So, he can meet everyone? Yeah, no. I’ll see you there.”
“Bye.” Rey waits for Rose to close the back kitchen door behind her. The quiet of the bakery is comforting as she goes to the table in the corner by the window.
A deep exhale as she wills herself to relax and not think about everything she should be doing. Just when she’s almost asleep, her brother texts.
Finn: Are you going this evening?
Rey: I am. How did Mom talk you into it?
Finn: Poe’s going.
Rey: Ah ok.
Finn: Ah ok, what?
Rey: Ah ok, nothing. How many times have you asked him out by now?
Poe: We’re just friends. You need a boyfriend.
Rey: Why do you say that?
Finn: Maybe if you had a boyfriend, then you’d leave me alone.
Rey: Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha. Smart ass.
She hopes that he takes the hint. It’s not that she doesn’t mind talking about her dating life, and she knows that her family just wants the best for her. But when they ask about it every time they talk to her—that’s what gets annoying.
As for the guys coming to ask her out—yeah, they must have all left town.
Rey: Besides you got the last good guy. Who am I going to go out with now?
~~*~~
Rey isn’t sure why she can’t find anything to wear—she ends up at the Solo’s at least once a week, especially during the summer.
Memories of whiskey-colored eyes and inky waves reminds her of forgotten dreams…
“Ugh, don’t start thinking of him. Rose met someone, Finn is finally coming with Poe, it’s going to be a good evening,” she mutters to the reflection of herself staring back. As much as she’d love to know that he’s ok—Leia doesn’t talk about Ben around her.
Her heart sinks as those words from long ago echo in her head— “Me? Ask Rey Holdo to the prom? You have to be kidding. I’d never ask that skank.”
She shakes her head as if she could knock those awful memories out of her head. Her favorite Foo Fighter concert t-shirt and jean shorts that have seen better days and black flip-flops end up being her choice. Her messy bun from seven a.m. gets taken down and lip gloss freshened.
She looks tired, but this is her after all day in the bakery.
Keys, phone and purse and she’s out the door. Han and Leia don’t live far from Main Street, it’s just really a couple of blocks. Normally, she’d walk, but it’s been a long week and it’s only Wednesday.
Familiar houses line the street as she returns to the first place she could and felt like calling home. several vehicles that she knows and several that she doesn’t line the street. But as if they know, she can still pull into her spot in Mom’s driveway.
A quick glance at the Solo’s—she doesn’t see anyone she knows just yet, so she hurries to the front door. There are two things she needs to do, the first one if she doesn’t then she’ll never be forgiven—“Ooof!” Her exhale is loud in the empty house.
Well, not completely empty. “Beebee!” She greets her old golden retriever. “Come here—” she coos as she hurries over to the couch. The pup isn’t really a pup anymore at eleven, and she needs some help onto the furniture, but she’ll gladly do it every time just to get a cuddle.
Beebee lays down and plops her head in Rey’s lap. A happy pant as Rey bends over far enough to plant a kiss on the golden’s nose. “Hello friend.”
Several pants and a happy sound are her answer. “Your face is getting whiter. I told you that you weren’t allowed to do that.” Another kiss on her snoot and she blinks away a tear. “Do you remember the day I found you for Mama? She always wanted one of you but never tried to find you.” A deep breath. “We need to stop.” Then she realizes, “why didn’t Mom take you? You’re allowed at Leia’s.”
A slow and steady thump of Beebee’s tail is the only answer she gets. “It might be because there’s too many people.” Another kiss. “And it looks like too many people for me too.” Another kiss. “Let me go check and I’ll probably be right back.” Another kiss before she eases out from under the pup.
A grin when that tail of Beebee’s keeps wagging as the dog watches Rey leave by the back door. “I’ll be right back, I promise.”
She closes the French door behind her and follows the well-worn path to the Solo’s. A smile when she passes the flowerbeds, they helped Mama with that first summer they came to stay. A huge rhododendron commands all the attention. It’s been forever ago since it was planted, at least twenty, and it now stands as tall as the one-story house. surrounding it, are a couple of azaleas with hostas, and phloxes that aren’t currently in bloom. She’s always loved this little oasis that Amilyn built for them.
“There’s Rey!” Someone who sounds a lot like Mom calls.
She looks up and there’s the purple headed one waving her over. Only her mom would dye her hair the deep lavender it is.
“I’m coming, I had to pet Beebee—can I bring her?” Before she finishes her question, Mama walks and she walks, and they meet in the middle.
“There’s so many people and I think more are coming. She’ll be alright.” Mama throws her arm around Rey’s shoulders. “Let’s go mingle?”
“I’m only here for one of Han’s hamburgers,” she half-heartly grumbles.
“And Leia’s strawberry shortcake?” Mom teases.
“And that too.” It was Leia baking with her and Rose back in the day that inspired them to take the baking classes.
“There’s my girl—” another arm slips around her waist as she wraps hers around Leia’s shoulders. A kiss to Leia’s temple and a welcome squeeze. Maybe this is what she needed, her family. “Why didn’t you tell me that Finn was officially coming with Poe?”
“I’m not sure why it took them this long to admit how they feel about one another,” Rey adds. “But I’m glad they have one another.”
Rey also doesn’t miss the look the two old friends exchange.
She chooses to ignore it.
“Why are we cooking out and on a Wednesday? Everyone is going to be in the bakery tomorrow wanting my hang-over special brew,” Rey teases.
“I have no idea. Han called me this morning after he got to the shop. All he said was to make sure the kitchen and the bathrooms were clean. Once he got home, he locked me out of the house. I’ve been at your house all afternoon.” Leia’s exhale is part tired and part irritated.
“Maybe he’s going to take you on an around the world cruise? A ride on the Orient Express? A walk on the Great Wall of China?” Rey asks.
“Ha! That old goat is too cheap. It’s something else, I know.”
“It might be a trip, why else would he ask everyone here?” Mama asks.
“Oh look, there’s Rose. Who did she bring with her?” Leia asks.
“I can’t believe she brought him. She had a date tonight and was going to swing by after—” she wiggles loose from the women in her life and steps towards Rose and the red-headed man. “Let me—”
“Don’t forget to introduce us!” Mama calls after her. Rey can’t help the visible cringe but she’s glad that Mom and Leia can’t see her face.
Rey does hurry to her friend’s side.
The smile on Rose’s face can only be described as radiant as she looks up— “I’m glad to see that you made it,” Rey interrupts.
“Rey! This is Armitage Hux. His friends call him Hux. Armie? This is my friend and partner Rey Holdo.”
“it’s very nice to meet you. I also heard good things about your coffee, I can’t wait to try one,” Hux complimented.
“But have you tried one of Rose’s doughnuts?” Rey challenges.
“I did. She brought me one. And I must say, it was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever put in my mouth,” he purrs.
Rey meets Rose’s gaze with a wink. “Come along, let me introduce you to—”
“Attention everyone!” Han calls from the back patio. A hush falls over the crowd. Rey looks around and most everyone if familiar. But there are several who aren’t. “Thank you for coming out on such short notice. But when I heard the news, I just knew that we had to have a celebration of some kind.” His smile is bright and one that she hasn’t seen on Han’s face in a while. “I’ve even managed to keep this news from Leia. Come on up here, Princess.”
The crowd parts from her. “Han? What did you do?”
He waits for his wife to join him at his side before he continues, “I didn’t do anything. But your prayers have been answered—” The door behind them opens.
“Ben?” Leia squeaks.
The bane of Rey’s existence walks out.
The one she still dreams about—true in the dreams she’s either kissing him silly or stabbing him with a dull butter knife. But he’s there more than she cares to admit.
Benjamin Solo.
The same one who’s been breaking his mother’s heart—full of excuses as to why he couldn’t come home for one reason or another for each holiday. Han and Leia would make the trip to California then New York at least twice a year. She supposes that he was always busy with his fancy law firms.
As long as she didn’t have to see his stupid face.
Feelings that she thought she’d buried come surging up to the surface like a bad hangover. She swallows a big gulp of air and slowly exhales through her nose like the one therapist she went to tried to explain to her.
She ended up at her general doctor asking for a prescription to take as needed when the elephant comes to sit on her chest, stealing all the air out of the room.
Why didn’t she take one of her happy pills before she came.
Or better yet she should’ve just stayed home.
A hand gently grasps her elbow. She turns to see Mama. “She didn’t know, Sunshine.”
“I see that. Han was the only one who did?”
“That’s what it looks like.” She leans in and whispers, “I know you’re not ok, I can see that. Do you want to go?”
“No, I’m thirty now. I need to get over this, right?”
“Sunshine—” they stop to listen as Han continues.
“Some of you may not know that this is the long-lost prodigal son, Ben,” Han teases but even Rey can hear that while he’s trying to kid, he’s also being very serious.
“Dad,” Ben says. “Thank you all for coming this evening, though I think some of you, if not all just came to drink Dad’s beer and to eat a hamburger which are still delicious if I do say so myself,” he pauses, as uncomfortable as he seems to be with the weird praise coming from Han, he’s still apparently comfortable with speaking to a crowd.
“What is he doing now?” Rey whispers to her mom.
“He’s a real estate lawyer.”
“Oh.” She knows from talking to her customers that those are in high demand these days, especially around here.
“Anyway,” Ben continues, “thank you for coming to welcome me back home.”
Then for the first time in years, those stupid whiskey-colored eyes lock onto hers. She lets herself for just a moment to return his stare. So many memories come rushing back. But instead of letting the present her linger in the past, she turns, kisses her mother on the cheek and takes the path back to her house.
~~*~~
“Ben?” Rose questions as he trots over to them, ignoring everyone who is trying to talk to him.
“Rose—Hux where did she go?”
“Who?” Hux asks.
“Rey?” Rose asks.
“Rey,” Ben confirms.
“She was just here—let’s go ask her mom—" Rose offers.
“No—it’s alright,” Ben excuses himself ready to flee. He knew this was a bad idea when Dad suggested it. As much as he’s happy to be back home, he didn’t want to hurt her again.
As usual that’s all he seems to know how to do.
He always remembers that first time he saw her. Skinny, too skinny even for a rapidly growing ten-year-old. She looked delicate but pitiful like a lost kitten in a storm who needed someone, anyone to love her and give her a safe place.
But to his twelve-year-old almost a teenager heart—she was perfect. Big green eyes that didn’t miss a thing, ears that didn’t stick out like his, long auburn waves to her waist, freckles sprinkled just so across her cheeks—perfection.
Looking back, he knows he feel in love with her that first day Aunt Amilyn brought her and Finn over to meet everyone. After all this time, seeing her again and not just in pictures Dad just happened to send him—she’s just as beautiful.
Those eyes of hers still draw him in. Those waves of auburn are lighter now and just as wonderful. He can only imagine how it would feel to run his fingers through it.
What hurt though was the smile he didn’t get to see. It hurts to remember her frown in that moment she knew he was here.
“Ben—” Rose interrupts his memories.
“Rose?”
“Why did you come back?” She gently whispers.
He should stop and explain, but since Hux has lived the past couple of years with him, he says, “I’ll let Hux explain it, I need to—”
“Ben?” he pauses, not because he wants to but it’s the pleading tone in Rey’s best friend’s voice that stops him from running after her. “You almost destroyed her that day. If you hurt her again, I’ll kill you.”
“Should I try to talk to her?” Wariness from carrying this guilt around for so many years haunts every word. While He’s pretty much been in hell all this time, he does want to apologize. Rey probably won’t forgive him, but he can finally tell her how sorry he is.
Then maybe he can tell her how much he’s missed her giggles, the little pranks she used to play on him, the way she would tell him about her day in that sweet sing-song voice she had way-back-when.
But most of all—he misses her smiles. All the different ones she had. The shy ones when she was meeting someone new. The happy ones when something truly made her happy. The sad ones when someone she loved is sad. The determined ones when she was out to conquer the world.
“Oh Ben,” Rose breathes as she takes a step towards him. She wraps her arms around him in a hug.
“Fuck—I said all that out loud, didn’t I?” he asks.
“You did buddy,” Hux says as he punches him in the arm.
“I sound like—”
“A man in love,” Rose finishes for him. the three are silent as his words sink in.
“I was thinking sap,” Ben tries to sound lighthearted, but even to him, he sounds like the saddest wretch in the world. “Should I—”
“Let me,” Rose offers. “Armie, I’ll be right back. if my family tries to scare you again—”
“I’ll take care of him,” Ben says. “I know she probably doesn’t want to talk to me, just make sure she’s alright, though.”
“I will.”
Hux waits until Rose disappears into Amilyn’s house to ask, “what in the heck is going on?”
Ben just shakes his head. “I was stupid when I was a teen and hurt the one person who I loved more than anything. Every day since then I wished that things could’ve been different.”
“Let me guess, she won’t talk to you?”
“Not a word since that day. She’s stubborn.”
“She must be Irish, then,” Hux says.
“Could be.” besides talking to Rey, Ben wants the attention off of him. He asks, “Why are you here?”
“You invited me, remember?”
“Ha-ha. You also said that you weren’t coming.” Ben watches his old friend flush red. “How did you meet Rose?”
“At the bakery.” Hux grins.
“The bakery? What bakery?”
“You don’t know? Those two own a bakery on Main Street. The same block our new offices are going to be on.” Hux says. “Oh, this is about to get really interesting, isn’t it?”
“A bakery?” His mind races. Did Mom tell him about that? Not that they talked that much while he was working for Snoke. “Is it doing well?”
“From what I understand, yes. It’s the place to get coffee and the doughnuts are amazing. Since we’ll be so close one of us will have to make daily trips to refill our coffee mugs.”
“I can make a good pot of coffee.” He bristles. While in law school, he perfected his own blend and now, everyone prefers his. But he can always handle some competition. Another smile as he remembers how competitive the three of them could be.
“Solo—” Finn greets as he approaches. Ben wonders if Rey’s brother saw her run from him. The way he’s clinching his jaw, he must’ve.
“Holdo. How are you?” He’s trying to remember if Finn talked to him after what’s being called the incident in his head. Perhaps nothing beyond a nod in passing?
His gruff, “Fine,” says everything. Maybe coming back to his hometown wasn’t the best idea after all.
But after the past several years, he needed to come back to the comfort of home. Especially when he was one of the rats in a major federal investigation.
Against his former boss.
Who was one of the best criminal lawyers on both coasts.
And he was the one who exposed his mafia connections and put Snoke away for several lifetimes. Ordering hits on your worst enemies will do that to a person as he well knows by now.
But he is surprised when he sees Poe of all people coming to stand behind Finn. He also doesn’t miss Poe’s hand on Finn’s back in what could only be solidarity. As much as he wants to apologize for everything he’s ever done, he does know that he needs to talk to Rey first.
Even if just to say I’m sorry. Even if he doesn’t get to say anything else to her. Ever. Again. Ever.
He figures that it wouldn’t hurt this time as much as it did when he was eighteen and she was seventeen. But he feels worse for letting this much time pass without reaching out to her.
He hears her before he sees Rose return. As much as he wants to rush past her so he can check on Rey, he waits.
“She’s pretty upset. Why didn’t you tell someone that you were coming home?” Rose asks.
“I did. I told Dad then had to go do somethings.” Rose’s brow lifts in silent question. “Ask Hux. He had to go through the mess that was our lives for the past three years.”
“Four. It was four years of hell,” Hux says. “It was awful.”
“I’ll take a raincheck then. Better yet, why don’t you tell Rey?” Rose asks. “I know that she’s hurt. She’s in therapy. And it not just for what you did. I don’t even think they’re talking about that anymore. She’s changed a lot from that kid you—well twelve years ago.”
He’ll wonder what she almost said later.
“She knows you’re here. Give her some time. Respect her boundaries. Then come talk to her.”
“Can I come see her at the bakery tomorrow? We’ll be there working on the office.” He almost begs. “We’ll be around anyway.”
“Yeah, if you want to come before lunch come between ten and eleven. If you wait, come around two. That’s when the breakfast and lunch crowds clear out.” He doesn’t miss how Hux steps closer to Rose as if he already knows her so well that he can hear how worried she is for her friend.
He knows because he worries too.
He also can’t leave, after all this party is for him after all. But before he can return to his parents, he doesn’t miss the auburn-haired beauty sneaking out of her mother’s house. As much as he wants to go to her and tell her everything, he does what he’s been doing for the past three years.
He watches.
He sees how she’s hunched over in an effort to comfort herself. How she hides her face so no one else can see probably the tears—his girl, his Rey always with her heart on her sleeve. She stops beside a red Jeep, and for a moment she looks back.
The longing on her face steals his breath away.
His feet move on their own and he’s almost makes it before she pulls out of the driveway. He doesn’t miss the irony of her leaving him instead of him leaving her years ago. He stays until he can’t see her break lights anymore because she turns left to go towards Main Street.
“You still love her, don’t you?” A voice he hasn’t heard, well as long as he hasn’t heard Rey’s.
“Aunt Amilyn,” he says, surprised as he turns. He’s seen her in the pictures Mom would send of her and her bestie, but he’s a little shocked to see how well she’s aged.
“You know, she heard everything you said that day.”
He feels like he’s eight again and his adopted aunt just caught him sneaking an extra ice cream. “I saw her running away after I said—” he can’t continue. The words are worse now to him than they were then. He heard some of the other kids use it—and he knows there are no excuses, he knows how well after all these years how sorry he is—that it was so much worse that he used that word to call his Rey that. “I’m a stupid man. And after all that—” he knows that she knows what he did. And what he and Hux had to go through to finish the job. “I’ve realized how precious life is and I just need a chance--”
“I know. I think she’s ready to give it to you. Just be gentle with her. She’s been working through stuff from before we found her.”
“I will.” Sudden hope fills his heart. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but maybe she’ll at least talk to him. “I promise to make it all up to her. I don’t want to hurt her again.”
“I hope so.” Amilyn sounds more tired than hopeful. He can understand but he also promises himself to prove her wrong. He’s going to make Rey happy even if he has to leave again to do it.