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Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of These Little Things Define Us
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Published:
2024-01-27
Completed:
2024-01-27
Words:
1,496
Chapters:
4/4
Comments:
42
Kudos:
158
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7
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1,179

Crush Culture

Summary:

All Winnie wanted to do was hold hands and dance with his best friend.

Chapter 1: Age: 15

Chapter Text

It was around middle school when Winnie felt himself growing bolder, becoming more confident. Transforming into the kind of person that deserved to be by Auggie's side.

 

He swore to himself that he would ask Auggie to their end of year school dance. It was a goal he set up for himself, something to reach for, to keep him motivated and hopeful. And it worked. It worked really well.

 

Until he found Auggie's gaze on someone else. 

 

Still, lingering eyes didn't necessarily mean anything. He had to be sure. He needed to know if he even stood a chance. 

 

“So, Abigail, huh?” he inquired, testing the waters. Auggie glanced over at Winnie, and uncertainty popped into his mind. Maybe he was wrong? It was possible that he'd just been reading the situation wrong. In that case, that meant there was probably still hope of–

 

“What?” Auggie's voice went up an octave, and his face turned crimson red. 

 

Oh. 

 

Guess he knew the answer to that question, then. 

 

He quickly recovered, forcing out a laugh that probably sounded hollow. “Come on, Auggie, you were smiling at her all day! You gonna ask her out?”

 

Somehow that made him even more embarrassed. “That's–  just, shut up, dickhead.”

 

Winnie grinned at the lack of bite behind his words. “Someone's got a big fat crush!”

 

As they rode the bus home, Winnie hoped that joking about it enough would make the pain more bearable.

 

It never did. 

 

❄️❄️

 

Auggie never did ask her out to the end of year dance. He chickened out at the last minute. 

 

He ended up going with Winnie anyways, but he was acutely aware of the way warm brown eyes looked longingly across the cafeteria at blonde pigtails and a bright smile. 

 

Winnie might as well have been air.

 

Chapter 2: Age: 16

Chapter Text

Okay. This time. This would be the year he asked Auggie to the dance.

 

He had it all planned out. A month before the semi, he would invite Auggie to come over and hang out. They’d go upstairs, and he would confess then and there, putting everything out in the open. 

 

That plan lasted for all of 2 months.

 

All of a sudden, blonde pigtails and green eyes were following them around everywhere, at lunch, after class, in the halls. And of course Auggie was accepting the attention wholeheartedly. Not that he could really blame him. He’d been crushing on her for a year now, and now she’s hanging out with him? It was practically a dream come true for him.

 

(Winnie tried not to feel the bile in the back of his throat. He was happy for Auggie. He was. Because he was a good friend. A good friend wouldn’t get mad about someone liking you.)

 

Winnie decided it would be better to abandon the plans of confession.

 

❄️❄️

 

 

Of course Auggie’s crush would ask Winnie to the semi a month before the dance.

 

She’d asked to talk to him for a moment, and he had looked between her and Auggie for a minute, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do, and oh God the look of betrayal on his best friend’s face was–

 

He quickly rejected her and returned to Auggie’s side.

 

“I’m so sorry, Auggie, I had no idea she–”

He let out a pained laugh. Winnie’s chest ached. “It’s fine, man.” No it wasn’t. “I uh, figured as much anyways.” No you didn’t. “If you want to go for it–”

 

“ What?” Winnie looked at him in disbelief and, honestly, a bit of anger. “You think I would say yes? Of course I rejected her, Auggie, what kind of friend would I be if I did that to you?!”

 

He looked down, gaze hidden behind brown strands of curly locks. “...Thanks, man.”



They stayed home for the semi-formal. Winnie rented a bunch of cheesy comedies from the Blockbuster nearby, and knocked on his door around 6:30.

 

Auggie opened the door. “...Hey.”

 

“...Hey.”

 

“You know you don’t have to be here, right?”

 

Winnie smiled at him. “What? Pssh. Come on, why would I want to go to some silly dance if you weren’t going to be there too?” 

 

For the smallest second, the corner of his mouth twitched upwards. Winnie etched it into his brain for safekeeping. Slowly, Auggie opened the door wider for him.

 

 “Guess I can’t stop you. Did you grab that new action movie?”

Chapter 3: Age: 17

Chapter Text

“You know, if nobody asks you to prom, we could always go together!”

 

He’d suggested it as a joke, really. 

 

“What, like as a date?” He’d squinted at him with questioning brown eyes.

 

The kind of joke that you laugh off as you nudge each other’s shoulders, then promptly forget.

 

“Or like, as friends, you know. Whatever.” 

 

Then again, he’d never been the best at making it clear that he wasn’t being serious.

 

“...Yeah, maybe.”

 

Which was why Winnie was currently walking in circles in his room, trying to figure out what ‘maybe’ meant. 

 

Should he text and ask about it? Was it more of a phone call situation? Or maybe he was supposed to do it in person. Would it be unclassy to ask someone out over the phone? He groaned. He wished they taught about these kinds of things.

 

God, what would he even say if he went through with asking?

 

“Hey, so you probably thought I was joking when I talked about the prom thing but I was actually being serious because I’m kind of madly in love with you”

 

Right. Like any sane person would say yes to that.

 

Besides, Auggie deserved a proper confession! With like, flowers, or a card, or chocolates, or… something! But on the other hand, would flowers be too much? Plus, he felt like it would be cowardly to just confess through a piece of paper. The chocolates thing could possibly work, but there was the problem that he hadn’t been able to successfully bake anything since he was in middle school. He could always just buy chocolates, he supposed. But he wanted it to be special! Ugh.

 

He flopped back onto his bedsheets and groaned, slapping his hands over his face. 

 

Being in love was so exhausting.

 

❄️❄️

 

Apparently, Auggie had thought about it, because a few days later he agreed to the idea.

 

“Wait, really?” Winnie's eyes may have been a little bit wide in disbelief.

 

He shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, we've pretty much always gone together anyways, right?”

 

Winnie laughed, feeling a little giddy. “Four years running!” God, he needed to go tux shopping. Or maybe suit shopping? Which one was more appropriate? He didn't want to overdo it and come off too eager or desperate–

 

“Plus, we can try to be each other’s wingman, you know?”

 

Oh. 

 

Suddenly he didn't feel as excited anymore.

Chapter 4: Age: 18

Chapter Text

Winnie could feel his chances slipping away with every day that passed by. 

 

Recently, it felt like every time he talked to Auggie, he would say something wrong somehow, and then they would get into some stupid fight, and then Auggie would storm off and Winnie would have to hold back tears because he was better than that.

 

Ever since Auggie had exploded at him for smoking, he’d been avoiding Winnie. Every second of it was absolutely miserable. At least before when they fought Auggie would still look at him. Now he didn’t even have that.

 

Winnie wondered if this was what withdrawal felt like for smokers. 

 

It was another week before Winnie was able to finally, finally stop Auggie and talk to him, catching him off guard on their walk home. He held onto the brunette’s wrist like a lifeline, afraid he’d lose him for good if he slipped free.

 

He’d promised himself beforehand that he wouldn’t cry. Tears welled up in his eyes anyways. “Auggie, please. Just, if you’re mad at me, tell me. Talk to me. Don’t keep doing this. It– it hurts too much.” 

 

Auggie grit his teeth. “Winnie–”

 

Everything began spilling out at once. “I’m sorry about the smoking, okay? You’re right, you were right, it was stupid, and it was a stupid thing to argue about, and– and–”

 

“Win.” He felt a strong hand on his shoulder. “ Breathe .” Winnie took in long breaths, trying to keep a calm pace through his partial sobs. He was pulled into a hug. The familiar scent of vanilla from his cologne filled his lungs. He felt his breathing steady, even as the tears kept falling.

 

“I don’t want to lose you, Auggie.”

 

Auggie was silent for a moment. 

 

“...You won’t.”



❄️❄️

 

Winnie wasn’t able to go to prom that year.

 

Even if he could, there was only one person who he would want to ask, only one head of messy brown hair and dark brown eyes with a laugh like chocolate and a smile as captivating as the moonlight.

 

The boy that he’d become addicted to. The boy he’d been chasing after for years .

 

And he’d left Winnie behind.

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