Work Text:
End of scene.
Moeun highlighted the simple phrase in light blue in her script book before resting the thick booklet on the table. She looked at her character's lines with fondness, brushing the small black characters that signaled her cue to enter the scene. Just seeing the name: Yeonsoo. Her character. The character she was bringing to life. It was her third role in a television show, only this time she had twice as many scenes as her previous characters. She felt a surge of excitement blossom in her chest. She'd spent hours after hours on long flights. Up and down endlessly but the jostling of the cabin as the plane would gain traction never made her feel like this. So alive, so accomplished for tipping her toes into her life long dream. Now she was contentedly drenched in it.
The sound of Jinwoo switching out his paintbrush made her look over his way where he was leaning across a table to get a thicker brush before turning back to his work. There he was. In his usual spot, shoulders slightly hunched forward as his hands moved across the canvas. It was almost poetic how every brushstroke was released with grace and careful calculation. Moeun tilted her head to the side to catch a glimpse of his steady gaze, thin streaks of sunlight peeking through the blinds and across his face. Now that was something that really made her feel things. Jinwoo. But not the fluttering butterflies kind of feeling. No, they were past that now. It was impossible for her to describe how much serenity, warmth, and comfort he was able to project to her with his mere presence.
Four seasons had passed since she'd last seen him. At first, she hadn't been able to fathom how she had lived an entire year without him. It wasn't until she smelled the paint a few days ago in Jiyu's studio that she had realized her memories of him had pushed her forward, no matter how many tears she had initially shed. Now the autumn leaves that had witnessed their breakup were witnessing their reunion. Or their new beginning, as Jinwoo had told her the night of her play.
A playful grin colored her face as she reached over for her phone. Time to rekindle her favorite hobby. She got up and tiptoed around the table, where they had shared so many meals, to get a better angle of his back. It reminded her of his mural she'd seen in Jeju but whereas the man had seemed lonely, Jinwoo was bathed in a light so warm that it seemed to make him glow. She swiped her phone screen to pull up her camera, being careful not to make noise. He had just started to move his belongings back into his house so the emptiness seemed to make the shuffling of her slippers against the floor much louder. Of course, it didn't matter. Jinwoo couldn't hear her sneaking up on him but he was so human, so raw, that often times she still forgot he couldn't hear. To the rest of the world he was deemed "different" but to Moeun he was just like everyone else.
Her index finger focused the lens on his back before capturing the almost magical moment. And she would have taken another if it wasn't for the fact that she saw him turn around and look at her. Her face shot up from her phone to meet his questioning nod towards the camera.
"Did you take a picture of me?" he tilted his head to the side as he moved his hands around, paintbrush still in his grasp.
Moeun playfully shrugged her shoulders as she realized she'd been caught in this secret hobby of hers.
"Show me," he urged with a grin before sliding a stool next to his chair and releasing his paintbrush.
Moeun glanced down at the image of Jinwoo's back filling her phone screen before taking her spot beside him. It was only a matter of time before he caught her. She realized that. And while there wasn't anything wrong about her clandestine picture taking, she couldn't help but blush at the thought of Jinwoo discovering her secret. Her secret, which in fact, was much more than the single shot she'd taken of him today.
He slipped the phone out of her hand, their fingers brushing against each other as he removed the chilled phone from her grasp. She blushed again, realizing how much she'd missed the warmth of his hands. So much for being past the butterflies. Jinwoo's shoulders scrunched forward as he stifled a laugh before looking up to face Moeun.
"What?" she signed and mouthed at the same time, nose scrunched in pretend annoyance.
Jinwoo shook his head with a smile as he held the screen up to her face. Moeun's deadpan reaction only making him laugh more while he scrolled through her photo album. There were a lot of pictures sandwiched in between from their time apart but he eventually scrolled down enough to see all of the pictures she'd taken of him a year ago. Most of them were of his moments painting, a few of him cooking or sleeping, and a few candid captures of him. So candid she didn't even remember what prompted her to take them.
"Why did you take these?" he signed.
Moeun shrugged her shoulders again as he slipped her phone back in her palm.
"I just like it," she replied once her hands were free. "The image of you," her hands lingered in place as she locked eyes with him. His cheeks rose with his smile as he read her movements and blinked back at her in affection.
Yes. This image. This was the image she wanted to remember. Moeun had never felt so greedy before but if she could keep and treasure Jinwoo showering her with that warmth by documenting it in pictures then she would take a million more.
"Whenever I really missed you, I would look back at these photos," she continued.
Jinwoo smiled with a hint of sadness at their time apart. "Me too."
Moeun scrunched her nose. "You took pictures of me?" she leaned over Jinwoo, her hand resting on his thigh as she tried to grab his phone that was placed on the table behind him.
Jinwoo gently grabbed her arm to pull her back in the stool. "Not there."
Moeun raised a curious eyebrow and watched as he turned his chair around to where his laptop was. His back turned to his painting he motioned for Moeun to move closer. The sound of the stool's legs scratched against the floor. A sound that was typically considered unpleasant but one that went unnoticed by Moeun. She was too distracted by Jinwoo's side profile to even care, their shoulders brushing against each other as they took their place in front of the table.
Jinwoo nudged her shoulder with his to get her attention forward. To what had been one of the many things that made him smile in her absence.
"Oh?" Moeun said with a wide grin as the bright screen met her curious eyes. "Jeju?" she signed, the lone image of herself on the beach filling the screen.
"Oh!!" she repeated, recognizing the image from the painting he'd gifted her. "You sketched it from this?"
Jinwoo nodded.
"We hadn't met yet," Moeun continued. "When did you take it? Why did you take it?"
Jinwoo chuckled quietly at her nonstop questions before reaching for his notepad. His eyes were searching for a pencil when he felt Moeun's slim fingers tug at his forearm.
"You can use sign language," she signed with her newfound confidence.
"Really?" he looked at her intrigued. He'd been meaning to ask her but it had dawned on him recently that he had barely written anything down for her since they started seeing each other again.
Moeun nodded reassuringly. "So tell me. Why'd you photograph me?"
He paused for a second as if considering his answer. Or more of how because the reasons were clear in his mind.
"I liked it too. Your image," his lips curled into a playful smile and then with more seriousness he continued. "There were so many people on the beach that day but you stood alone, apart from everyone else. I wanted to remember that moment. You looked like a painting."
Moeun smiled back at him. "Were you thinking of painting me?"
"Yes," he signed with a simultaneous small nod.
"Like Dino? Or you? Artist Cha Jinwoo," she motioned at him.
"Dino," he shifted his chair back and pulled her stool towards him so he could face her directly. "I drew my murals hoping to give a voice to people who might have felt lonely. To document at least a moment in their life for someone, even just one person, to appreciate. So I thought of painting you but..." he paused, realizing how much he had said without stopping and how Moeun had clearly understood every word. There wasn't that small squint in her eyes from when she struggled to understand his movements.
"So did you paint me?" she pushed forward, not only because she was curious if her mural existed somewhere in Jeju but also to assure him of her understanding him. She saw a glint of relief and joy flash across his eyes before he shook his head.
"You didn't need it."
Moeun furrowed her forehead, finding herself slightly disappointed at his denial. "Why?"
Jinwoo looked down at his hands, considering how to answer again. And Moeun wasn't sure but she could almost see him blushing in self-awareness.
She bent down to peek at his head hung low, meeting his eyes with a chuckle as she confirmed his bashful expression. "Are you blushing?" she asked, her hands slightly shaking as she tried to contain her giggle.
Jinwoo finally looked up and shook his head, mimicking her wholesome grin. He wasn't even sure why he felt shy but he did. He had already confessed how he'd fallen for her early on but she probably didn't know it was this early on.
"Because I realized I was wrong," he finally managed to explain. "I saw you at my mural the next day. You didn't walk past it. You saw it, knelt down, and took a second to accompany the old man. You. Moeun. I told you, you have a beautiful heart," his hands fell down to his lap as he saw her expression shift from curious amusement to affection.
"But I was lonely too," Moeun signed slowly, remembering how mundane her life had felt then. It was suffocating. Until I met you.
"You were lonely," he signed as if reading her thoughts. "And yet you still kept him company for a bit. Jung Moeun, you're the type of person who stays by someone's side and assures them everything will be okay even if you are not."
He smiled back at her warmly as he saw tears fill her eyes. She met his smile with her own, being careful not to smile too much so as to avoid her tears from slipping from her face with the slight movement. Jinwoo reached out to squeeze her hand briefly before he went on.
"I wanted to be that person for you too. Dino? It wasn't necessary for us," he looked at her with fondness. Her teary eyes looking directly at him. There were so many things he had missed about Moeun but this was the biggest one. She'd expressed before how she felt like they could have their own silent conversation with their eyes and Jinwoo had never considered something to be so true. A part of him yearned to hear her voice but then he would look at her eyes and drown in the depth of her sincerity. She loved him, he could tell by the way she showered him with affection and he could only hope he transmitted the same intensity with his eyes and hands.
"I didn't want to admit it but I wanted to be that person for you too," he signed. "Amidst my insecurities and attempts to distance you, I wanted to draw closer to you and be your companion."
Moeun blinked the stare she had been holding and felt her tears fall down her cheeks. She glanced to the side with a shy laugh before leaning forward towards him, her slippers bumping into his as she closed the distance between them.
"I'm sorry," she signed slowly, remembering the sad and helpless expression on his face when they broke up. She had skirted the conversation because it didn't seem like they needed to verbalize their feelings. They understood each other so well that it felt like the simple action of Jinwoo introducing himself that night had been more than sufficient for them to comprehend the reasons for their rupture and to rekindle their relationship. But deep down she wanted to apologize for anything that could have pained him in the past. If she so much as hurt him in any way possible, she wanted to apologize and soothe the scars. His smile disappeared as he read her hands, immediately understanding what she was referring to, the recollection making him pause.
"It must have been hard for you too back then. And my clumsy sign language didn't help."
Jinwoo shook his head, immediately dismissing the notion. "You weren't clumsy. Your hands and efforts filled me with happiness. I never felt like you were clumsy. So don't blame yourself," the expression in his eyes pleading her to erase the regrets from her mind.
He reached over and cupped her cold tinged hands in his. The small size of them fitting perfectly in his wide palms. Her hands. Her voice just for him. While it was true he couldn't hear her real voice, this voice was reserved just for him. His thumb brushed against her pale skin as he softly caressed the hands that were so unique, so precious to him. He traced the shape of her fingers and smiled as he realized he could instantly find the lone, small freckle on the back of her hand. He could probably pinpoint it even with his eyes closed.
"Your voice," he signed once he managed to release her now warm hands. "Is more than enough. You filled my silent ocean with life."
Moeun felt herself swallow the knot in her throat while her fingers fidgeted in the absence of the warm refuge his hands had offered. Jinwoo. Her relationship with him was one of such mutual understanding. One where they were equals. She felt she could run to him for anything. Her joys, her sadness, her struggles. Cha Jinwoo: he would always be there for her and she wanted to be that person for him too. She reached for his hand and squeezed it, unable to bring her thoughts into words. She didn't have to use her voice with him but it still felt like the tightness in her chest was preventing her from moving her hands.
Jinwoo tapped her shoulder to divert her attention back to him. She was clearly lost in thought but his curiosity had reached its limit.
"Your sign language is really good though," he motioned, tilting his head to the side as he looked at her intrigued. She had always done well but it was evident that her movements were quicker and smoother. It took her much less time to tell him things. But those were just the small benefits from her excelled proficiency. No, his favorite part was how she didn't have to focus on her hands as much to confirm her movements were right. Instead she kept her eyes on him.
"I took classes," she beamed, ecstatic that he had noticed.
"Really?"
Moeun nodded in confirmation. "Here and there in between my shooting schedules."
Jinwoo frowned as he recalled how exhausting her shooting schedules had been for her first drama, albeit the minor role. "That must have been tiring?"
Moeun sighed, unsure on how honest she should be. She didn't want to worry him but she also wanted to share every second of her life away from him.
"It was," she acknowledged with a slow nod. "But I wanted to know," she paused to give him a smile in hopes his feelings wouldn't get hurt by what she was going to say.
"Know what?" he urged, shifting forwards in his chair, as if closing the distance between them would encourage her to finish.
"When we broke up," she continued, with a bit of guilt at seeing his shoulders tense at her movements. "I knew what you meant, you were right. I could understand your feelings but I didn't understand every single word you said. I wanted to know exactly what you said that day. So I replayed it over and over in my head so I wouldn't forget."
Jinwoo furrowed his eyebrows, the idea of Moeun reliving their break up making his heart ache. "That must have been really painful for you."
Moeun squinted her eyes a bit. "A bit," she admitted. "But the more I filled in the blanks, the more I understood you. Us. And the more I understood, the more I realized the type of person you were for me and the person I was for you," she explained with a flutter in her chest, remembering how her painful memories had transformed into reasons to love him. She lifted her finger and pressed it against the creases in his furrowed forehead.
"It's okay," she added with a reassuring smile as she saw his expression soften at her touch, the tension immediately dissipating from his face.
"And then I realized that maybe..just maybe, if we met again, I'd want to say all of these things to you but just in our language," her hand brushed against his chest before resting on her lap. She held his gaze wondering at what point, if ever, she'd stop relishing in the raw, beautiful sincerity that his dark brown eyes offered.
"Thank you, Moeun," Jinwoo finally signed. He could have sworn he felt his heart skip a beat, something he found amusing because it made him feel like a teenager again. But it was simple. In his eyes, Moeun was without a doubt, perfect. She was a beautiful person at heart but then she was also so pretty. Her fair features and contagious laugh were unrivaled. The way her long hair bounced off her shoulders when she laughed. Moeun is art.
She smiled back at him with a nod and a slow blink. Something they constantly joked about because it reminded them of how Ireum would blink at them as a sign of affection. He smiled back and laughed.
"You look like Ireum again," he managed to sign with a trailing laugh, glad to see the last of the tears wash out of Moeun's eyes and trickle down her cheeks. She laughed back in that priceless way she would where her entire body shifted forward in amusement. And without a moment's pause he saw it as the perfect invitation to pull her into a hug. He felt her immediately shift her weight to the edge of the stool so she could bury herself in his arms. Her shoulders softly shaking as he imagined her still laughing. It wasn't until he felt her hands wrap around his waist and brush up and down his back did he realize her laughter had dwindled. He felt her steady breathing over his shoulder as she nudged her face into his neck. Seconds passed while they clung to each other and if it wasn't because she pulled back he feared he would have kissed her. Jinwoo stifled his somewhat sigh of relief, and perhaps disappointment, at the distance now between them. Mouen tugged at the fabric of his t-shirt with what seemed to be an annoyed pout.
"But I admit I am a bit disappointed," she signed as her pout turned into a playful frown.
"Why?" he asked back, distracted by the blush in Moeun's cheeks that confirmed their proximity had made her feel the same way.
"You really never made a painting of me," she reproached followed by a pause. "I'm just saying I'm a bit disappointed."
Jinwoo's lips twisted into a smirk and he unconsciously glanced to the side where the wide covered canvas stood. He had placed it behind other paintings the night they'd met again after her play. He couldn't explain why but he had. Which was for the better because although he was eager to share his favorite work, he now had the inklings of a better reveal than just her walking in his studio to see it.
Moeun scrunched her nose at his lack of response and nudged his leg with hers before getting up.
"Why is he even smiling?" she mumbled to herself but careful enough to be in his line of sight so he could read her lips.
"I should get back to my script. And you get back to your paintings," she signed before scooting the stool under the table to give him space. But she only managed to take two steps when she felt him grab her arm to pull her back towards him.
"Sorry, you know I take my time with things," he joked.
"I know!" Moeun moved her hands enthusiastically. "You're slow!" she added, unable to contain her giggles at their silly, yet continuous, inside joke. She loved teasing Jinwoo but she could only pretend annoyance for so long. So what if he didn't paint me. I have him.
Jinwoo lifted his arm to wipe the moist residue her tears had left on her collarbone as he watched her close her eyes in amusement. Jung Moeun, with the ethereal energy she brought into his silent world.
No, with Moeun it didn't feel silent anymore.
"I love you Moeun," he signed, making sure her eyes were open to see his hands. She tilted her head to the side, trying to get a read on his expression after his confession. It wasn't the first time he had said those words. She'd already seen him sign it to her multiple times since they'd started dating again. Yet, it marveled her how each time was different. Whether it be the way his hands flowed, the glint in his eyes or the way he would stay motionless afterwards, as if engraving the moment in his memory.
"Me too," she responded to the still sitting Jinwoo. She inched closer to him and reached out to tickle the corners of his cheekbone with her fingers as he raised his head to meet her gaze, now several inches higher as she stood in front of him. He felt her index finger trace his features and then finally rest on his hair. She ran her hand through his over grown bangs and ruffled them.
"I like your hair like this," she mouthed. "It reminds me of when I met you in Jeju," she explained with a grin while she brushed his bangs forward in an attempt to mimick the ocean breeze that had teased them out of place.
Jinwoo gave her their signature Ireum blink and slipped his hand into her free hand. She laughed again and swung their arms to the side playfully.
"Get back to work," she signed once he released his hold on her. A flash of disappointment rushed through his face. Disappointment that didn't go unnoticed to Moeun as she bent over one last time and kissed his cheek. She was pulling back when she felt his lips on hers, a wide satisfied grin on his face at stealing a peck from her. Moeun slapped his shoulder playfully and pushed him back.
"Work!" she signed with exaggerated movements. She quickly slipped in between his tables away from him before he could hold her back again. If she stayed one more second then they really wouldn't get any work done. She peeked one last time at him while she retook her spot in front of her scriptbook. His smile still there as he shrugged his shoulders at her.
I love you, Jinwoo.
The only words filling her head while she crossed her arms across the table in front of her. It was crazy. She knew it wasn't possible but sometimes, in moments so ordinary as these, she felt she could hear his voice. My ocean. She nodded her head back at him with her cheeks blushed as she understood his expression. As she heard his voice in silence, telling her, once more, what had become some of her favorite words recently.
I love you, Moeun.