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“Congratulations Shinsuke Kita!” The speakers bellowed as the host read the card inside the envelope.
With piles of papers and his laptop perched on top of their kitchen counter, Atsumu watched from a distance as an important day for Kita is being broadcasted on live television𑁋 being awarded with a prestigious Academy Award. Clearly distracted, the 3rd year Sports Science major had his chin resting atop of his palms, his other hand was twirling a pen with his fingers.
Best New Actor. As expected. No words could express how proud he was to see how far he has come and how far he’ll continue to go. While from an outsider’s point of view, they would think that Atsumu was just a regular fan. But for everyone watching at the Miya household right now, the announcement of winners was more meaningful than they thought it would be.
“Wow… he’s really making it big isn’t he?” Osamu says as he sits at their living room couch, watching his old friend and senior climb the stairs to receive his award.
“On behalf of my team and I, I would like to thank each and every person who has supported and helped us achieve this honor.” The blonde twin heard the very familiar voice speak into the microphone and with the face he’s become so accustomed to. “Thank you for this award. I promise to work harder than before. I won’t disappoint you”. Kita Shinsuke. The industry's newest breakthrough. His long-time friend. At least to what’s obvious.
“Mhm” Atsumu agreed.
Kita Shinsuke also happens to be the very same person he has held suppressed feelings for. For Atsumu, Kita was so far away. And now he’s even further; left like a regular face in the crowd.
“Another box of chocolates? That’s like....the 4 th one today?” Atsumu smiled at Kita as he sat on top of the table. The silver-haired male was sitting on the chair. They had the sitting areas near the field all to themselves. It was Valentine’s day, the most dreaded day; for Shinsuke that is.
Although it’s flattering that these many people build up the courage to give him all these gifts, it’s also tiring to reject every single confession he receives. And it’s not that he doesn’t think the confessions aren’t pleasant; absolutely not, they’re all okay and Kita is far too nice to think that their efforts should be insulted. Relationships just weren’t what he wanted to bother himself with at the moment.
“5th actually. Got another one this morning before we met up” He sighed as he handed Atsumu the latest box that he had received. “Want one?” He offered as he looked over at the twin. “No I’m good, got some of my own” Atsumu bragged to him while shaking his head and pointing at his bag with a box of his own.
A few seconds of silence and Shinsuke decides to speak up again. “Did you give your Valentines yet?” He asked nonchalantly as he unwrapped another wrap of chocolate. His question caught the younger off guard. For one, he had never even told him that he was planning on giving anyone anything.
“What?” He asked in surprise. “I saw the box of sweets when you were putting it in your locker earlier and it didn’t have your name on it, so I assumed you were gonna give it to someone. Has the lucky person received it yet?” Kita stated clarifying his question.
Obviously no. And it wasn’t like Atsumu would suddenly open up to tell him that HE was the lucky person who he was so curious to know. “Uhm...No. I don’t think I will” Atsumu told him while ignoring the gaze he gave him.
“Why not?”
“I don’t think it’d be worth it.” The blonde stated. To be fair, he didn't think it would turn out well. He’s rejected so many people, what would make a confession from one of his closest friends any different?
“Well that’s a shame. I bet they would have been glad you gave them something”
“Hi everyone, today I’m with HQ magazine, ready to answer some of your questions.” Atsumu heard Shinsuke greet the camera with a smile as he waved his hand. He’s currently watching a recorded interview Kita had done as part of the promotions for his new movie. Fortunately, Atsumu had enough free time on his hands to watch it in the middle of his midterms preparation and while practicing his sets as he is getting ready for a volleyball league. It was always nice to see him come out of his shell and tell them stories about his day or what he has planned for his career. Kita was always the reserved one between the two of them.
After the award show that was broadcasted on television, the younger male (hesitantly) sent him a text to congratulate him. Sadly, he never got a reply back.
Busy. He’s busy and flooded with messages.
“Did you used to play sports?” He read the question that was on the piece of paper he picked out from the fishbowl props.
He stared at the comment section. The still camera and lighting highlighted his delicate features with his eyes shining. “Volleyball....I used to be the captain of my former high school volleyball club. You could say that we were pretty good. My team was amazing. ”
“But I wasn’t part of the starting lineup. It’s fine though, I still enjoyed playing. And my members in the starting line up deserve to be there too. Like our old setter, he worked just as hard as I was but he was way more passionate about the sport.”
Atsumu looked up from what he was doing, to look at Kita as he smiled at the camera. “It was always fun to see him play. I wonder how he’s doing.”
Kita Shinsuke had always been far out of Atsumu’s reach. Not only is he extremely attractive, he’s also insanely nice, smart, and talented that it’s no surprise that he has people fawning over him left and right.
Atsumu has held this fact for years. And when he decided to try out acting, even more people grew to recognize and admire him than before.
“Hey Atsumu” The blonde heard a girl softly greet him as she went to close his locker. She was shyly looking down while holding something behind her back. “Hi?” He whispered back with a confused undertone.
“Could you give this to Kita for me?” She asked in a favor as she held out a white envelope with stickers on them. Something a 6 year old would give their parents at an open house if you asked him. Nonetheless, it was enough evidence to tell him what the letter is about.
“Can't you give it to him yourself?” He informed her, not wanting to be bothered by this.
“Oh...Uhm... I heard he’s at the theater club right now….” She shyly answered back.
“So?”
“I won’t be able to catch him today, Atsumu-san…. please? You’re friends right?”
Though hesitant, and although he knew that he should’ve said no, he continued to say yes because this confession wasn’t something he should decide on his own but Kita’s. Even if the possibility of him accepting it would pain him.
Later on that day, after their volleyball practice, the setter handed the letter to him while they were checking things out at the convenience store nearby with the other players.
“Ah, I almost forgot. Some girl wanted me to give you this”
“Oooh, another confession Kita-san?” Osamu said. “Aren’t you Mr. Popular” Aran added.
“They’ve got to stop asking you to give me stuff. Sorry if they bothered you. Again” Shinsuke said apologetically as they sat on the high chairs by the window. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
“You shouldn’t” He grabbed the envelope from your hands and opened it, only to be greeted with what exactly he was expecting. “What does it say?” Suna asks.
“She added her number” Jungwon sighed and shoved the paper on his bag.
“You’re going to text her?” Atsumu asked him. “What? No.” The captain answered back.
Atsumu internally sighed in relief.
After watching the interview with Kita, Atsumu went on with his routine as usual. Doing the regular thing, school, home, chores, volleyball, repeat. Life has been pretty bland with less and less of Kita’s presence in his life.
He was a busy person and he couldn’t demand the time. He’s a rising celebrity; he’s living the dream he’s been waiting for so long. Atsumu has his own dreams that he’s handling on his own too. Yet the Miya twin couldn’t help but miss him and his old high school life. It sounded selfish wanting him to go back to that moment in time, but he truly wished you could spend a day with Shinsuke like he used to.
While cleaning his stuff, Atsumu stumbled upon an envelope that had Kita’s name written on the upper right corner. It was an old love letter he wrote but never had the chance to send it out. The one he was supposed to give one Valentines day.
Atsumu opened the note to read the words unsaid.
Hi Kita’san!
How are you?
Surprise!!
Dear Kita Shinsuke,
Happy Valentines! I don’t even know why I’m writing this in the first place. I think I’ve been caught up in a mix of emotions lately that I just ended up writing this for you. To be completely honest, I’m not even sure if I’ll actually give this to you in the first place. What even is this about...
I’ve always known I liked you since you were a second year and I was a first year. You’ve always been so nice to me and I felt so comfortable around you. You gave me care packages and always made sure I was doing well. You always praised me and made me feel good about myself even if everyone else said I was annoying and a bit too much. It didn’t really help that you were also extremely handsome.
I’ll just get straight to the point. I’m really grateful for you. And I don’t think enough words could express how happy I am to be a part of your life. I’m glad to be friends with Kita Shinsuke who is loved by many. But I don’t want to be just friends because I’ve liked you for so long. I’ve liked you more than a friend that I grew up loving in the end. Don’t worry about rejecting me though. I think I’ve accepted my fate that you’re way out of my league for a long time already, Mr. Perfect.
I’m really proud of you. I hope you achieve more success, love, and happiness. I think you really deserve that. Whether it’s volleyball or theater, I know you’ll do well. You always do well.
If you’re ARE gonna reject me, do it lightly okay? (And don’t let Samu know)
Sincerely, and always yours,
Miya Atsumu
And it’s still true till this day. That even if he only talks to Kita occasionally, he knew that his relationship with him would soon drift away, and that one day they’ll both end up living two different lives. One day the friendship they had with each other would just be a beautiful memory and he’ll end up making more relationships in his career; relationships that wouldn’t include Atsumu.
One day he might just be a stranger to him and it was fine; Atsumu understands; or he’ll grow to at least. Because that’s just how relationships work – some fade while some grow stronger. Unfortunately, him and Shinsuke had an unfortunate ending.