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They've always said 'Canadians look the same!' 'oh your not ugly!' until they actually see whats under this paperbag over my head.
I'm tired, its always been the same routine everyday. Locking myself up in my house and barely even doing anything, just going on my phone and thats all.
I wish i could contact Ike and ask him to bring me back to America, Atleast the 'Americans' don't see my hideous facial features. I literally made a Monster named 'Tooth Decay' Turn into stone over my ugly face, people even agree i should be called 'Ugly bob'.
Its been a few years since I've moved back to Canada, I haven't even went outside those few years.
The first thing in the morning is a ring at my door, who the fuck wants to visit me in my house? I'm so confused.
"Hey, uhh my brother Ike wants to speak with you?"
Ike? Isnt that the guy who helped me save the princess?
"Kyle this is stupid, we're in Canada, a place where you had war with over a show. Now we're at some poor mans house because your stupid fucking brother wants to talk to someone?"
"Stan this is not just 'someone', they helped save the princess, also this is probably really important since he's a Knight in Canada."
I opened up the door, I saw 5 kids standing at my door.
One had a Green Ushanka, One was wearing an Orange Parka that made him look like an earpod, one thats reeaally fat, the most basic dude you'd ever lay your eyes upon, and Ike.
"Uh, hey?"
"Hi there uhh, whats his name again? Ugly Bob, My Brother Ike needs a conversation with you."
I shrugged and crouched over to speak with the Canadian Child.
"What is it eh?"
"Your an ugly bitch!!"
This stupid child, did he just come all the way to Canada just to say that?
"And?"
"Come to America with me!"
Finally? I can go out without being told to kill myself?
Im not gonna lie, if i actually am, theres no way im missing Canada. I hate it here and if theres somewhere I'd want to be banned in, thats Canada.