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“To Alexander! Hollywood megastar in the making!”
“Ey leader! You don’t need to shout, it’s only you and me huddled in this corner.”
Xander and Soohyun clinked their beer glasses together with a shared chuckle. It was convenient that they were the only patrons currently in the bar, barring the staff lightly scrubbing some nearby tables. Aside from the pair's chatter, it was serenely quiet, only the muffled hum of the outside hustle and bustle reverberated against the walls of the bar.
Soohyun had been looking forward to seeing Xander all week. Scheduling this meet-up was needlessly complicated as Xander was set to leave in a couple of days to Bangkok to film for Home Sweet Home Rebus-
“Rebirth!” Xander corrected when Soohyun attempted to mention the movie. Soohyun laughed and apologized, quipping that the beer must be stronger here.
He had grown very fond of Xander in the short time they had been reunited. The wide-eyed Macanese man had matured considerably since they last met well over a decade ago. Mentally of course but physically as well; Soohyun couldn’t help himself from noticing how sharp Xander’s jawline and cheekbones had become, how broad his shoulders were, or the impressive definition in his arm muscles. Right before they had entered the bar, Soohyun made sure to give those arms a squeeze and remark about how strong they felt. Xander squeaked in embarrassment but also boasted about how he worked very hard to get “these guns”. Despite all his growth, Xander maintained his snarky sense of humor, something Soohyun couldn’t get enough of.
“I hope when your movie is a smash success, you won’t leave me and the other members behind in your cloud of fame and money!” Soohyun joked, wagging his finger as if he was scolding a naughty pet.
Xander, with an exaggerated huff, held up his palm and cocked his head to the side.
“What-EVER plebeian! Talk to me when you smell less poor!”
The two laughed heartily at their own banter; Soohyun’s distinct witch-like cackle echoed throughout the hollow establishment.
“But seriously-“ Soohyun began, “I’m so glad you came back to do this project. It means a lot to me and the other members.”
Xander’s expression softened from a comically wide grin to a gentler, less cartoony smile.
“Well of course! I really missed you guys! And I missed performing in general!”
“You perform just as well as you did all those years ago Alexander.” Soohyun cooed.
Xander chuckled with his whole body, his beer sloshing around in his loosely-held glass.
“So do you! It’s like you’ve still got that rookie spirit, belting out those cords like rents due.” Xander took a swing from a beer as he finished his compliment and a bit of foam dribbled out of his mouth. Soohyun, with frankly unneeded speed, grabbed a napkin to wipe his clumsy hyung’s ever-chattering maw. Xander didn’t even protest. The buzz from two light beers was already inhibiting his manners, Soohyun thought.
Before Soohyun could even attempt to respond, Xander had already pivoted the conversation to how hectic his own schedule had been. Soohyun decided to let him ramble. If there was one thing Xander had over Soohyun aside from age, it was the power to dominate a conversation.
In the midst of Xander’s tipsy ramblings, Soohyun, half-listening, pondered the “rookie spirit” comment. Is that what Xander saw when he looked at him? That squishy-faced farm boy with the crooked teeth? That farm boy was long gone now, gone long enough for Soohyun to sometimes doubt he had ever been so softhearted. Not that he was ever that innocent; many people-who-will-go-unnamed could tell he was rotten in the head from the beginning.
“Hey! Are you listening?” Xander asked, waving his hand mere centimeters from Soohyun’s face.
Soohyun laughed and apologized for being lost in thought.
“You haven’t changed a bit! Always daydreaming, not focusing on the here and now. If you don’t think my life is that interesting, just say it you big meanie!” Xander pouted.
“Ah I’m sorry! I love to hear you talk Alexander, please continue.”
Xander resumed his story about…something or other. Soohyun was fully not listening at this point, he just gazed at Xander. His voice, the light ringing of silverware and beer glasses, the mumbling conversations had by the bar staff, every sound seemed to fade away.
In that moment, Soohyun realized something; how innocent Xander truly was.
A whole decade of Soohyun’s life is completely unfamiliar to him. The seemingly endless touring, watching members grow to resent each other with every passing day, watching those same members drop out for some reason or another. To Xander, these are just stories recounted to him, not lived experiences. But stranger still was how he never witnessed the death of that softhearted farm boy and saw coldhearted Okashira take his place.
It’s not like Soohyun never said any mean things when Xander was around of course, but those remarks were only ever meant as light razzing. Just dumb teen boys pushing each other's buttons for a laugh. But once the team started getting traction in Japan, the pressure and high stakes demanded that Soohyun become a new person; more iron-fisted master and ruler of the universe and less dopey, cowshit shoveling hick.
The change in persona was for the greater good, Soohyun internally argued. They wouldn’t have been nearly as successful if not for his strict leadership. So what if he said some things that may have been cruel and made others cry? So what if he got into fist fights with some members-who-will-not-be-named? It all worked out in the end didn’t it?
To think that so many people saw him like that; cutthroat, venomous, and according to those-who-will-not-be-named, evil. But not Xander.
That innocence…it was beguiling. It bordered on arousing.
“Anyways!” Xander clapped his hands and the sound shook Soohyun out of his torrid thoughts.
“I think we should call it a night. I would drink more but you know how it is with work and aging livers.” Xander chuckled.
Soohyun returned Xander’s laugh, albeit weakly. It did not feel like they had been at this bar for well over an hour, a fact Xander pointed out by helpfully tapping his very expensive looking watch. Like poor farm boy Soohyun never learned how to tell time.
As they paid for their drinks and walked out the bar, Soohyun couldn't stop eyeing Xander’s exposed arms again. Seemingly drawn by a newfound powerful magnetism, he latched onto Xander’s right arm and leaned his head onto the taller man’s shoulders.
Xander didn’t react as strongly as he did before they entered the bar, instead he just looked bemused and wobbled slightly.
“Uh, I thought I was the one drinking a little too much. You had like one beer, is that enough to turn you into a clingy girlfriend?” Xander joked.
Soohyun adjusted his gaze to face Xander. The street lights formed a glowing halo around the taller man's head; his wide brown eyes seemed to shimmer with flecks of gold. A sight so divine it made the scent of pale lager emitting from Xander’s breath less noticeable.
“Alexander…please come back to me after you’ve finished shooting your movie.”
“I’m not going off to war Soohyun. I’ll be back and we can do this-“ he gestured his left hand vaguely around Soohyun and himself, “-again. You know, whenever my Hollywood megastar schedule allows for it.”
“Come back to me first then. I want to have more nights like this with you soon.”
“Well the night is still young, so how about instead of me making awkward small talk with a cab driver, you walk me back to my hotel room, oh chivalrous knight?”
Soohyun let out another witch cackle, nearly losing his and Xander’s balance as they trotted down the street, arms entwined.
“Is the night young enough that I could spend a bit in your room?”
Xander’s wide eyes grew even bigger and he stopped dead in his tracks. Soohyun’s cheeky smile drooped, sensing that a boundary had been crossed.
“Uh, no, maybe when I’m less drunk. Hey, you’re not trying to have your way with a vulnerable young buck, are you dearest leader?”
The tension dispersed and they were both laughing like hyenas again.
“I would never. Only when you're sober and willing, my eccentric spring buck.”
Although the darkness was casting both of their expressions in shadows, Soohyun could feel the heat of Xander’s blushing face. He wondered if Xander would even remember this conversation. Maybe he’ll dismiss the whole thing as “drunk sweet nothings”. Simply play it off as innocent fun. Soohyun hoped he would. He hoped he could feel this young and stupid for a little while longer.