Work Text:
Taicang mountain lay shrouded in grey mist, as rain blew by in sheets, soaking everything from the land to the heavens and all in between. The weather had been utterly miserable like this for several days, leaving not much room at all for going outside and getting things done.
But in that squat, lonely hut on the mountainside, the atmosphere was really quite peaceful; for in the soft, dim light of a few candles, engulfed in warm blankets, a ghost and a god lay in each other’s arms, quite content to ignore the world outside.
It had been just over a week since the Mid-Autumn Festival, and Hua Cheng’s return; the two had been completely inseparable ever since, loath to be apart from each other for even a minute.
For the first few days, Xie Lian had refused to let Hua Cheng out of his sight; for an irrational fear had long since settled in his bones that Hua Cheng would disintegrate into butterflies right before his eyes again if he did. And every time he began to tremble, when that fear took root, Hua Cheng would embrace him tightly, reassuring Xie Lian that he would never leave him again. Every time, Xie Lian would nuzzle against his chest, relishing in how real and solid it felt.
And every night, they would lie like this, pressed together intimately under the blankets, holding each other gently. It was so warm and comfortable that Xie Lian found himself starting to nod off a little, soothed by the sound of the rain coming down outside. His eyelids drooped, and his limbs felt heavy.
Xie Lian opened his eyes, blinked sleepily, and curled up a little where he was nestled against Hua Cheng’s chest. He felt Hua Cheng’s arm tighten around him in response, pulling him even closer; Xie Lian’s chest filled with warmth at the touch, and he smiled, nuzzling into his collarbone and taking a deep breath.
He’d given it a good deal of thought over the last year; breaking his cultivation vows would have broken him eight hundred years ago, but… he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t had fantasies about Hua Cheng during their time together. Of course, he’d always quelled them the second they’d arisen out of instinct, but… when he thought of Hua Cheng, of that night in Qiandeng Temple, of that searing body pressing him down on the altar, that soft, moist tongue intertwined with his own…
He could never forget the things he had felt that night.
After Hua Cheng had passed out and he had tucked him into bed, it had taken him hours to cool the fire in his veins and force himself to think rationally again. He’d felt guilty, dirty, like he’d done something wrong, and for a long time he hadn’t been able to forgive himself for it.
And yet, now…
Hua Cheng was back. He was back, and he was here, and he was holding Xie Lian in his arms, occasionally dipping his chin to kiss the top of his head.
When they’d kissed in the last few days, it had started out soft and tentative; Hua Cheng was so respectful as always, almost worshipful. But after a year of waiting, of yearning, of longing, Xie Lian could barely hold himself back; more often than not, they would end up kissing passionately, breaths mingling as their tongues brushed across each other. Xie Lian had become almost addicted to the way Hua Cheng explored his mouth every time, the way his hands would gently rub up and down his back. And yet they never did anything more than that, for Xie Lian had yet to voice his thoughts, and Hua Cheng was far too respectful.
Perhaps it was because his mind was heavy with sleep, but a strange wave of boldness came over him this time, and he murmured, “San Lang…”
“Mm?” Hua Cheng stroked his hair. “What is it, gege?”
“Do you remember that night in the temple?” Xie Lian asked softly.
Hua Cheng’s eye widened. “Only some of it. You said we fought…”
On hearing that, Xie Lian started to laugh. He’d been so embarrassed about it at the time that he’d come up with that lie on the spot, so as not to hurt Hua Cheng’s feelings. Now, however, when they were lying together like this, the whole thing seemed almost laughable.
“We didn’t… fight,” he choked, once his giggles subsided. “We… um… well, you…”
Hua Cheng suddenly looked horrified. “What did I do?”
“You… well… you pinned me to the altar and kissed me for half the night."
Pure terror filled Hua Cheng’s eye. “Gege – I’m –“
“Don’t be sorry,” Xie Lian said, smiling as he nuzzled into Hua Cheng’s neck. “You actually made me realise a few things.”
If Hua Cheng had to breathe, he would be holding his breath right now. “What kind of things…”
Xie Lian reached up to cup his cheek. “Well, I… realised that every time you kissed me, it felt good. Nice. That I liked it.”
Hua Cheng’s eye widened.
“When you were pressing me down like that, I felt… other things, too…” Xie Lian could feel his whole face going red. “I was so ashamed. I felt like I was taking advantage of you.”
Hua Cheng gave him a squeeze, and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t worry about that. The fault was mine, back then.”
“No it wasn’t.” Xie Lian was suddenly serious. “It was Jun Wu’s, even if we didn’t know back then. But that time… I think it was when I started to realise I really did love you.”
Silence fell between them as Hua Cheng’s expression softened; after a moment, his eye brimmed with tears, that escaped and slid slowly down his cheek.
As if out of instinct, Xie Lian reached up and gently kissed the tear away. “I love you, San Lang,” he whispered, voicing the words that made his chest ache with how deeply he felt them. “And… with you, I… I…” he trailed off, blushing scarlet as he tried to find the right words. “I - I think I want to do more than just kiss. But I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’ve never done anything like that before, and –“
“Shh.” Hua Cheng hushed him, holding him close. “You don’t need to worry about that. But your cultivation…”
“I’ve thought about it a lot this past year.” Xie Lian pushed himself up on an elbow to look Hua Cheng in the eye. “And I think… well, none of my original worshippers are around anymore. My spiritual power might disappear, it might not, but…” he sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I just… I want to be with you, San Lang. If that’s what it takes, then so be it.”
Hua Cheng looked at him, arm tightening a little around his waist, and moved his hand to gently stroke his cheek. “If gege says so,” he said softly. “We can go as fast or slow as you need. Just think; we have all the time in the world, now.”
Xie Lian’s chest tightened with emotion. All the time in the world…
Slowly, he leaned in, and kissed Hua Cheng on the lips.
Almost immediately, Hua Cheng wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, hands stroking up and down his back as their lips parted and tongues intertwined. The deep blush in Xie Lian’s cheeks only intensified as the kiss deepened, so soft and passionate as Hua Cheng’s hand gently combed through his loose hair.
When they finally paused, Xie Lian gasped for breath, his chest heaving up and down as he lay on top of Hua Cheng. He was about to close his eyes to get his bearings again when he saw Hua Cheng move, and his breath caught in his chest as he felt soft, cool lips gently pressing against his cheek.
Hua Cheng moved slowly, trailing soft kisses from his cheek to his jaw. “If you don’t like it, tell me to stop, okay?” he whispered, against his skin.
Xie Lian was trembling. “Okay,” he murmured, his voice a little hoarse.
Smiling, Hua Cheng moved, and Xie Lian shivered as he felt hot breath against his ear. “S-san Lang, I – nngh!”
His eyes flew open as a rush of pleasure washed through him, for instead of simply kissing, Hua Cheng’s lips had parted a little, gently licking the edge of his ear.
Embarrassed that he had just moaned like that, Xie Lian cast his eyes downward, but his eyelids almost immediately fluttered with pleasure as Hua Cheng took his earlobe into his mouth and began to suck gently. He’d never known that place could be so sensitive, but then again, he’d never been touched like this before… a few soft moans forced their way from somewhere deep in his chest, and he felt Hua Cheng falter a little with each one. “San Lang…”
“Is it too much?” Hua Cheng asked, releasing him and pulling back a little.
Xie Lian shook his head. “No, it’s… it’s good…”
“Good.” Hua Cheng kissed his forehead, before leaning down to press soft kisses to the sensitive skin of his neck. Xie Lian almost seemed to melt in his arms at those gentle caresses, his whole body warm and soft to the touch. Every touch of Hua Cheng’s hands and lips was so unbearably gentle, brimming with tender affection. Xie Lian’s eyes stung; under that touch, he felt so loved, so deeply cherished in a way he’d once thought he would never feel again.
Only when Hua Cheng reached the base of his neck did he pull away again, smiling softly. “How’s that?”
Xie Lian had so many words that his voice stuck in his throat. “I-it’s so nice. You’re so nice,” he eventually forced out, then frowned at how inadequate that sounded. “Incredible,” he tried again. “San Lang, you’re so- ah!”
He was cut off as Hua Cheng pulled him into a tight hug. “So gege likes that, hm?” he teased. “I’ll have to store that away for later.”
The thought of ‘later’ was enough to make Xie Lian’s face turn scarlet. “I…um…uh…”
“Don’t worry,” Hua Cheng said. “We don’t have to go any further right now, if you don’t want to.”
Xie Lian let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Hua Cheng’s voice was so deep and soft as he said those words, laden with tenderness. Even though Xie Lian wanted Hua Cheng so desperately his heart ached, he was still a little nervous about what came after; and tonight, he’d gotten a proper taste of what it was like to be warm with pleasure from his beloved’s touch. With a murmur of assent, he nuzzled into Hua Cheng’s chest again, suddenly feeling quite sleepy.
Closing his eyes, he felt Hua Cheng gently stroking his hair. The last thing he heard was a faint whisper against his temple: "Goodnight, my gege."
Feeling all soft and warm inside, Xie Lian slowly drifted off to sleep.