Chapter Text
E N T R Y 1
Dear Diary,
I had woken up 5 years ago in the body of what I thought was a naked mole rat, but was in fact a baby human. And things went sideways and loopy from there. I found myself in what I initially thought was a hypertraditional Japanese family who made bank from a high paying job, yet that was not the case. I was born into a hypertraditional Japanese family who were active semi-royals, right up until my father was assassinated by ninja in the 3rd shinobi war causing my mother's heart to give out, at which point I was hot potatoed between the extended family (more so than the jaws of Hapsburgs, I mean who knows their 6th cousin through 2 marriages well enough to take in their kid?!). At least we had almost half the number of uncle-niece marriages, despite the fact that nobody seemed to come out with concerning mutations. Oh, right. You noticed the mention of shinobi.
Yeah, turns out I'm the first cousin once removed of the Fire Daimyo, 4th cousin twice removed from the current Lightning Daimyo and the nephew of the current Shogun, not that anyone doubts my 'most glorious' lineage. At least I can run off to the safe, neutral land of samurai with one of my guards rather than die again if all goes to heck.
My knees hurt so much, I can't believe how hard it is to keep perfect posture, you'd think they'd lay off beating kids but considering my half-sister Himemi's bruises I think it's safe to say corporal punishment is still very much a thing.
Yours sincerely,
J Reight
E N T R Y 23
Dear Diary, can I call you Jeffery? Yes, I'll call you Jeffery.
It's been a while, huh. I'm 6 now. Minato and Kushina are dead. I attended the funeral. Himemi's dead too, at 14, but that's just tuberculosis and poison for you. Sometimes, I'm worried I've become apathetic to things, but them I realize that if I can still feel worried I'm probably alright. I think. I've seen so many people die. It's...not right. I was a psychology major with a double minor in engineering/computer science, I'm built for using computers, not calligraphy or economy. I don't even care where I'm going, anywhere would be safer than here. I want to get back to my lab and sleep or something.
I want Himemi back. She was the one good thing in this place. She was the only person without the faintest trace of planning-murder-for-political-power.
- J
E N T R Y 26
Dear Jeffery J. Jefferson,
I've got my way out. Sure, its post attack Konoha but again, ANYTHING would be better than this palace Hell. I can go there to 'see how others live lives' incognito, and spend a few months in relative peace and not constant death.
The only reason I'm still alive is extreme paranoia and Mithraism. I don't eat anything I haven't had someone else test beforehand. I sleep randomly and in shifts. I don't ever enter very crowded or completely empty rooms. Trust nobody, that is how one may survive.
-J
E N T R Y 27
Dear J.J.J,
I'm on my way to Konoha. It worked. I get to have cheap instant ramen, I get to wear something other than stuffy robes. I'm an adorable kid, I can pull basically anything off. I wish Himemi could see me now... I think she'd be proud of me. Probably. She'd never made it past the teen years so who knows.
Damn, that's depressing as heck.
Happy thoughts, avoid death, happy thoughts.
- I don't know who I am anymore
E N T R Y 28
Jeff. I made it.
I am in Konoha. I have infinite money at my disposal. I have a stomach full of instant ramen. I have a froggy raincoat and matching umbrella. I got cute ducky wellingtons. I have possibly caught a cold. I have accidentally arrived during a somewhat unusual rare wet season in Konoha, because I can't have nice things unless they're going to die in a few years.
I saw a depressed old fart sitting in front of the memorial for like goodness knows how long, so at least I know I'm doing better than Kakashi.
I'm f i n e. Probably.
- Nagisa