Work Text:
August, 2015
Jeonghan hated Seungcheol the moment that they met.
It happened on a Wednesday.
It was the beginning of the second semester of his second year of university, and while Jeonghan considered himself to be an excellent student, he was not, under any circumstances, a morning person.
All throughout his first year he had made it his personal goal to never wake up before 9 AM on a weekday. He was successful for the most part, if you don’t count the times he was woken up by his foreign roommate Joshua making early morning phone calls to his parents back in America.
Jeonghan somehow lucked out and managed to curate his fall and spring schedules his first year to be comprised exclusively of early-afternoon classes, which allowed him to take his time once he did wake up in the morning; he could drink a cup of coffee or two, work on some homework, and maybe even fit in a late-morning nap before he had to leave his room for the day.
This perfect schedule made by past Jeonghan, however, was currently biting present Jeonghan in the ass, because the introductory science courses that every student is required to take by the end of their sophomore year are only offered at 7:30 in the morning.
“7:30,” Jeonghan mumbled as he stepped into the on-campus coffee shop, Sunday Mornings, at 7:15 . His same roommate from freshman year, Joshua, who he now lovingly refers to as Joshuji or Jisoo, works the morning shifts here four days a week, all of which happen to be the same days Jeonghan has to go in for his early class. “Who the fuck schedules a class at 7:30?”
“Morning, Han!” Jisoo greeted him as soon as he walked in. He had entirely too much pep in his step for this time of morning, in Jeonghan’s personal opinion.
He grumbled his reply to Jisoo, some amalgamation of good morning and shut the fuck up.
Jisoo just laughed at his grumpy roommate, “Need an extra shot today?”
“ Please, ” Jeonghan groaned, throwing his entire body onto the counter. Jisoo gave him a quick pat on the head, more than used to his roommate’s dramatics after living together for the last year and a half.
“You got it!” He chirped, stepping away to start on Jeonghan’s usual order. Jeonghan gave his thanks, or at least he thought he did. He was still stuck somewhere between dreamland and reality, not able to fully be awake until he’d had a dose of caffeine.
Once the drink was ready, Jisoo had set it down in front of Jeonghan along with a chocolate croissant, wrapped in parchment paper and safely tucked inside of a small brown bag adorned with the shop’s logo.
“I didn’t order this,” Jeonghan said, his words contrasting the way his fingers curled around the bag and pulled it slowly towards his body.
“On the house,” Jisoo told him, “but the coffee isn’t. Give me your card.”
Huffing, Jeonghan stood up straight and grabbed his wallet from the side pocket of his messenger bag. He handed his credit card over to Jisoo, who swiped it happily and reminded Jeonghan that while tips aren’t necessary, they’re always appreciated!
Jeonghan let out a haggard I’ll give you a tip, alright, though he did still end up throwing a couple thousand won bills from the bottom of his bag into the tip jar nestled next to the cash register.
“Want me to pick up dinner tonight?” Jisoo asked right as the bell above the front door chimed, signaling another customer entering the otherwise empty establishment.
“Sure,” Jeonghan agreed, taking a sip of his iced latte and sighing as soon as he swallowed the sweet liquid. He continued, “How about that Thai place right off campus with the good Moo Satay? I could be down for some curry, too.”
“Gotcha!” Jisoo confirmed, “Hurry up and go so you aren’t late. I’ll see you tonight.”
Jeonghan nodded, giving his roommate a wave goodbye so he could continue working, and stepped back outside into the humid August air. He began walking through the open, grassy area between the main buildings and toward the science department, taking slow sips of his coffee from one hand and swinging the bag with the croissant in the other.
He’d had about nine minutes to get to his class, which was about a five minute walk from where he was, four if he sped walked. If I get there with four minutes to spare, maybe I can lay my head down for a little bit before the professor comes in -
“ Heads up! ”
Startled by the sudden booming voice, Jeonghan didn’t have a lot of time to react to the current predicament occurring before him - namely, the soccer bar that was hurtling straight towards his face.
With an alarmed screech, he threw his hands up in front of him to protect his head right before the ball made impact with a thwack . He was knocked off balance and found himself unceremoniously being thrown onto the grass below him, coffee dumped down his front and croissant lying somewhere beneath him.
Pounding footsteps came towards him, a panicked voice asking, “Shit, shit, holy shit, are you okay?”
Hands were suddenly gripping Jeonghan’s biceps, maneuvering him into a sitting position and attempting to help him stand. Jeonghan smacked the intruding hands away, spitting out a venomous don’t fucking touch me and pushing himself back onto his feet. He took a moment to inspect his appearance; his coffee had completely soaked the front of his white t-shirt, fucking perfect.
Glancing at his watch and ignoring the furious apologies from the person in front of him, Jeonghan was alarmed to see he now only had five minutes to get to his class, which was still a three minute walk from where he currently was.
Jeonghan released an angry shriek, finally taking the time to look at who it was who had knocked him over.
Before him stood a man, about the same height as him, with short black hair that curled against his forehead. His thick eyebrows were furrowed over his large, shining eyes, and his full lips were set in a pout.
(Jeonghan would begrudgingly admit later, once he recounted the story to Jisoo, that the guy was pretty cute.)
“You -” Jeonghan started, pointing an accusatory finger at the stranger before him, “hit me with a soccer ball, spilled my coffee all over me and made me drop my croissant, and on top of that I’m gonna be late to class!”
The unidentified attacker chewed his lip in worry, thinking for a moment before saying, “I am so, so sorry. You walked through the middle of our game, I didn’t mean -”
“Oh, so it’s my fault now?!” Jeonghan argued, throwing his hands up in exasperation, “I’m the one that got hit with your fucking soccer ball! The least you could do was offer to buy me another coffee,” he stamped his foot for emphasis, “but instead you’re standing there blaming me -”
“Woah woah!” The man held his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You’re right, it isn’t your fault. Can I buy you another coffee?”
Jeonghan stared him down for one, two, three moments, before his shoulders slumped and he let out an exhausted sigh. “I don’t have time,” he admitted, “I have to be at class in a few minutes, and I’m gonna be late enough as it is.”
The stranger thought for a second before he seemed to get an idea (Jeonghan was pretty sure that if he looked hard enough he would be able to see a tiny light bulb illuminate above his head).
“Here!” The man said, reaching into his pocket and extracting his phone. He clicked around on the screen for a bit before turning it to Jeonghan, a ‘New Contact’ form staring up at him. “Give me your number and I can buy you the coffee another time.”
Jeonghan squinted down at the phone for a second, but the glaring 7:27 AM in the top right corner made him move. He grabbed the phone, quickly typing in his information and handing the device back to the man. “You owe me a coffee and a new croissant.”
“Noted,” the soccer boy said, clicking his phone off and placing it back into his pocket. As Jeonghan turned on his heel to leave, he stopped him with a hurried, “Wait!”
“What is it now?” Jeonghan snapped, turning back around to face him. He was rendered speechless when the man pulled his sweatshirt over his head, leaving him in a fitted black t-shirt that stretched across his chest and shoulders. He held the sweatshirt out to Jeonghan. “What are you doing?”
“Your shirt is covered in coffee, I figured you might not want to go to class like that,” he offered as an explanation (And, well, he wasn’t wrong. Jeonghan certainly didn’t want to go to class like that).
Jeonghan dropped his messenger bag on the ground beside him before snatching the sweatshirt from the guy and pulling it over his head quickly. His long hair got caught between the collar and his back, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care when he only had two minutes to get to class, fuck -
Grabbing his bag and slinging it back over his shoulder, Jeonghan turned on his heel and made a beeline for the science building. “Don’t forget about my coffee!” He yelled over his shoulder as he ran.
(He was only one minute late for class, which earned him a light scolding from the professor, but he supposed it could have been worse.
And if he had the intrusive thought that the borrowed sweatshirt smelled really good, then, well, that was a secret he would take to his grave.)
⟡⟡⟡
It was the next afternoon when a new text came through to Jeonghan’s phone.
Unknown Number
did you have to save your name as ‘u owe me a coffee!!’
i couldn’t figure out which contact was you for like 10 mins
u owe me a coffee!!
I thought it would be pretty easy to tell which one was me, actually
How many people do you owe coffee to??
Happiness Destroyer (Coffee Spiller)
only you!
i don’t make a habit of hitting cute boys with soccer balls every day
u owe me a coffee!!
Cute??
Wow, are you trying to flirt with me now?
Is that how you flirt? Hit guys with flying balls?
…
Don’t answer that, actually
Forget I asked
Happiness Destroyer (Coffee Spiller)
already forgotten
can i buy your replacement coffee tomorrow morning?
i won’t spill it this time, i promise
u owe me a coffee!!
Fine
Meet me at Sunday Mornings at 7:15
Happiness Destroyer (Coffee Spiller)
i’ll be there
⟡⟡⟡
Jeonghan walked into Sunday Mornings at 7:15 on the dot, not expecting the other man to already be there.
Not only was he there, but he was holding Jeonghan’s coffee and chocolate croissant in his hands. A sheepish smile spread across his face at Jeonghan’s raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t tell you my order,” Jeonghan said, snatching the drink from his hand and taking a tentative sip. It was exactly how he liked it. “How did you know this is what I wanted?”
“That would be because of me!” Jisoo’s voice cheered out from behind the counter, “As soon as Seungcheol walked through the door with his sad puppy dog eyes, I asked him if he was here to buy a new coffee for the pretty boy with the long blond hair.”
Jeonghan raised his other brow, ignoring the latter part of the sentence to draw attention to the former, “Seungcheol?”
“That would be me,” the man - Seungcheol - piped up, raising his free hand in a small wave.
“Do you two know each other?” Jeonghan questioned, his eyes darting between them while he waited for an explanation.
Jisoo nodded at his question, “We’re both in the business program. We took a few classes together last semester, and we have one together this semester, too.” Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol, who simply nodded his head in agreement.
“Cool,” Jeonghan said, suddenly feeling awkward. He hadn’t ever planned on actually learning Seungcheol’s name, just taking his free coffee and leaving it at that. But, well, now he had.
(And, well, it was a nice name.)
“Cool,” Seungcheol repeated, looking equally as out of place as Jeonghan felt.
Jisoo let out a low whistle, “Wow, you’re both awkward, huh?”
Jeonghan glared at his best friend before remembering what he had in his bag. He dug into it with his free hand, pulling out Seungcheol’s freshly washed sweatshirt from the top and reaching his arm out to hand it to him. “Here’s your shirt back; thanks for letting me wear it.”
“No problem,” he replied, accepting the shirt from Jeonghan. He held out the bag with the chocolate croissant in it, “I believe this is yours, too?”
Jeonghan grabbed it, letting out another quiet thanks as he stuffed it into the top of his messenger bag where the shirt had just been. After securing the clasps, he hitched his bag higher up on his shoulder and threw his thumb behind him. “I should get going; my professor was pissed at me being late the other day, so I don’t wanna make it twice in one week.”
Seungcheol nodded in acceptance, “Sure, sure.”
Jeonghan looked towards his roommate, “I’ll get dinner tonight. What do you want?”
“Tteokbokki?” Jisoo asked, and Jeonghan hummed his agreement.
“Sounds good,” he said. Then, “see you guys.”
⟡⟡⟡
Happiness Destroyer (Coffee Spiller)
yoon jeonghan
Jeonghan ☕🥐
???
Yes?
Wait, how do you know my name?
I never told you
Happiness Destroyer (Seungcheol)
jisoo told me after you left
Jeonghan ☕🥐
Traitor
I’m gonna shave his eyebrows off in his sleep
Happiness Destroyer (Seungcheol)
pls don’t do that!!!
⟡⟡⟡
September, 2015
It had been about a month since Jeonghan had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting Seungcheol, and his hatred for the other man had yet to let up during that time. If anything, it grew.
(“You call it hatred,” Jisoo began one night when they were sitting in their living room, watching a drama while they ate dinner. “I call it enemies to lovers.”
“Shut up! ” Jeonghan yelled, throwing a used napkin at Jisoo’s face.)
After they met, all of a sudden, it seemed as though Seungcheol was everywhere.
He was usually out in the courtyard playing soccer with his jock friends when Jeonghan would be rushing to class in the morning. He would call out a cheery Morning, Jeonghan! accompanied by an enthusiastic wave. Jeonghan would avoid eye contact and keep moving.
He seemed to always be in the library whenever Jeonghan went there to print something, sitting in front of his laptop and chewing on the end of his pen as he read. Somehow, no matter how quiet Jeonghan tried to be (it is a library, after all), it was as though Seungcheol’s Jeonghan senses were tingling, because he always, always caught Jeonghan trying to sneak out without being noticed. He would flag him down, yelling his name and earning a sharp Shhh! from the librarian. Jeonghan would bow to her in apology before rushing out and away from the other male.
Seungcheol also had made a habit of hanging out at Sunday Mornings whenever Jisoo was working, which put a sour taste in Jeonghan’s mouth despite the sweet lattes he liked to sip on.
And, as if it couldn’t get any worse, they were in the same advanced calculus class.
(“What a coincidence!” Seungcheol had shouted, dropping his backpack to the floor and plopping down in the chair right next to Jeonghan. “I didn’t know you were in this class too, have you always sat in the front?”
Jeonghan put his head into his hands and groaned.)
Seungcheol was like a fruit fly, constantly buzzing around Jeonghan and not going away no matter how many times he was swatted at.
All of that combined, however, didn’t irritate Jeonghan as much as all of the texts he got from the other. Every morning he was greeted with a good morning!! , and every night ended with a sweet dreams!! In between those were usually a barrage of dad jokes, memes, and occasionally a cheesy pick-up line that left Jeonghan cringing at his phone for at least twenty minutes before he could muster up a response.
One of those lines came in as Jeonghan was sitting at his desk, reading about search engine optimization and trying to make sense of the HTML on the backend of the website he was building for class.
IGNORE! (Seungcheol)
something must be wrong with my eyes, because I can’t seem to take them off of you
Jeonghan ☕🥐
We aren’t in the same room, Seungcheol
You can’t see me
Unless you’re a stalker…?
IGNORE! (Seungcheol)
i’m not!!!
“Texting your boyfriend?” Jisoo asked as he walked into Jeonghan’s room, sitting down on the edge of his bed and peering over Jeonghan’s shoulder at his phone.
Jeonghan shut the screen off quickly, sending his friend a glare. “He is not my boyfriend.”
Jisoo hummed, “Sure, Jan.”
⟡⟡⟡
Jeonghan was sitting on the floor of his and Jisoo’s living room, his textbooks spread around him as he attempted to teach himself the finer points of financial literacy, when he heard their front door open.
“Joshuji!” He called out, “Come save me! If I read another word about mutual funds, I’m gonna bash my head in with this textbook.”
“Don’t you dare,” Jisoo said as he waltzed into the room, a bag from their favorite fried chicken place dangling from his wrist. “I’ll never be able to get the blood stains out of the carpet.”
Jeonghan opened his mouth to retort, something along the lines of you’re more worried about the carpet than my sanity, but he snapped it shut as soon as he saw the second figure standing in the doorway.
“Seungcheol?”
Seungcheol, looking nervous, gave a small wave and let out a quiet little, “Hi, Jeonghan.”
Jeonghan turned to Jisoo, “What is he doing here?”
“We’re partners for a project,” Jisoo answered simply, sitting down next to Jeonghan on the floor and shoving his books and papers out of the way. “We’re gonna work on it in my room after we finish eating.”
Jeonghan blinked dumbly. “In your room?”
Ignoring him, Jisoo beckoned towards Seungcheol. “Come sit, Cheol, the food is gonna get cold.”
Seungcheol nodded, sitting down across from Jisoo and Jeonghan. Jisoo handed him a set of wooden chopsticks, which he accepted with a quiet thanks .
They sat and ate in relative silence, save for Jisoo complaining about the nasty customers he had to deal with that morning after one of their espresso machines broke. Jeonghan couldn’t place why he was feeling so awkward all of a sudden.
As soon as they finished, Jisoo threw all of their trash back into the plastic takeout bag and headed towards the kitchen to throw it all away, leaving Jeonghan and Seungcheol by themselves.
“I’m sorry,” Seungcheol suddenly said, shattering the silence around them.
Jeonghan looked at him. “What for?”
“I told Jisoo you might not want me to be here,” Seungcheol told him, picking at the skin next to his thumb idly. “He said it would be fine, but I don’t think it is. I’m sorry.”
Jeonghan wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”
Seungcheol stared down at his hands, avoiding eye contact. “I just know that you don’t really like me that much, that's all.”
Jeonghan frowned, a pit forming in his stomach at the dejected look on the other man’s face. “Seungcheol, wait -”
“All done!” Jisoo announced as he waltzed back into the room. “Ready, Cheol? We’ve got to at least get the outline done tonight.”
Seungcheol nodded, standing and following Jisoo toward his bedroom.
“Knock if you need anything, Han!” Jisoo yelled out right before he closed the door, shutting Jeonghan out.
Jeonghan remained there for a few moments before he gathered up his things and shuffled into his own room. He didn’t understand the sinking feeling in his stomach, or what it could mean.
⟡⟡⟡
The texts stopped after that.
No more good morning or good night texts, or dad jokes, or memes, or pick-up lines. They all just stopped. Jeonghan was having trouble deciding if he was happy about it or not.
Jeonghan would see Seungcheol out in public, and instead of his usual enthusiastic greetings, he would give Jeonghan a timid wave and turn back to whatever he was doing.
He started sitting in the back of their calculus class again, leaving Jeonghan by himself in the front.
Despite wishing for Seungcheol to stop bothering him, now that he was, Jeonghan had never felt more alone.
⟡⟡⟡
About a week later, Jeonghan was sitting with Jisoo at their favorite brunch spot off campus. He was taking a hearty bite of his eggs benedict when Jisoo spoke.
“He asked me about you yesterday.”
Jeonghan chewed slowly, swallowing his food and taking a sip of his orange juice before he responded. “Who?”
Jisoo gave him an unimpressed look. “You know who.”
Jeonghan shrugged, preparing his fork to take another bite. “What did he ask?”
“Just how you were,” Jisoo said, “he said you look more tired than before.”
Jeonghan grumbled, “If he’s so worried, why doesn’t he just ask me himself?”
“He doesn’t think he can, Jeonghan,” Jisoo told him, and oh god, when he starts calling Jeonghan by his whole name instead of Han or Hannie, he knows he’s in trouble. “He’s convinced that you hate him. Which, in his defense, you do.”
Jeonghan mumbled something under his breath. Jisoo cupped a hand around his ear. “Sorry? I couldn’t quite catch that.”
Jeonghan sighed, setting his utensils down and slumping down in his chair. He knew this was going to be a long conversation. “I said I don’t hate him. Why does he even think that?”
Jisoo gave him a pointed stare, holding his hand up and beginning to count on his fingers as he spoke, “First off, you avoid him in public. You also ignore his texts all the time. Also you have literally said the words ‘I hate him’ to me before. Not to mention that awkward ass dinner at our apartment the other week -”
“Alright, I get it!” Jeonghan interrupted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “I get it. I’m the worst.”
Jisoo’s eyes softened. “You aren’t the worst, Han.”
Jeonghan stared down at the yolk running on his plate. “Seungcheol clearly thinks I am.”
“He doesn’t,” Jisoo said, “he likes you, Han. He just doesn’t want to keep bothering you if you’re not interested.”
Jeonghan stared at his roommate, blinking one, two, three times as the words registered in his mind. “Interested? What do you mean?”
“Interested in him,” Jisoo said, his brows furrowing, “because he likes you.”
“Likes… me?”
Jisoo’s jaw dropped, literally, and his eyes widened in surprise. “Yoon Jeonghan -”
“Stop with the government name!” Jeonghan scolded.
“- please, please tell me you are not so oblivious that you can’t see that that sweet, dumb himbo is head over heels for you.” At Jeonghan’s silence, Jisoo cried out, gripping his hair in both hands and tugging, “Are you stupid?!”
“ No!” Jeonghan screeched. They were earning quite a few glares from other patrons, but Jeonghan couldn’t care less right now. “How was I supposed to know? He never said anything!”
Jisoo picked up his fork, spearing a bit of sausage onto it, before pointing it towards Jeonghan. “He tells you good morning and good night every single day.”
“He’s just being friendly,” Jeonghan argued.
“He sends you pick up lines, like, all the time. ”
“I thought he was just trying to be funny!”
“He pays for your croissants at the cafe, like, a lot!”
“He just - wait what?” Jeonghan asked. “He doesn’t buy me croissants, he only bought the one before. You give me the rest for free.”
Jisoo shook his head. “He’s been paying for them before you get there and telling me to give them to you ‘on the house.’ I love you and all, but I’d get fired if I was giving away free pastries every day.”
Jeonghan sat there, not really sure what to say. “Why does he do that?” He asked softly.
“Because he likes you, Han.”
His voice somehow became quieter. “Why would he like me?”
“Han,” Jisoo started, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand. “He likes you because you’re an amazing, sweet, wonderful person. Also, you’re hot, so that probably contributes to it.”
Jeonghan snorted, using his free hand to wipe at his watery eyes. “I’ve been horrible to him. How do I make it up to him?”
“Well, text him first, for starters,” Jisoo suggested, pulling his hand back and reaching for his mug of coffee. “Have you ever texted him first before?”
Jeonghan shook his head, and Jisoo sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day at his best friend.
⟡⟡⟡
Later that afternoon when Jeonghan was lying in his bed, bored and watching vine compilations, he got an idea.
Jeonghan ☕🥐
CLICK TO WATCH: I Could’ve Dropped My Croissant (Vine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRFUZBXOWZI
Me when we first met
It took two hours for Jeonghan to get a response.
Seungcheol ⚽
it really was omg
⟡⟡⟡
Things went pretty much back to normal after that.
Seungcheol went back to his daily texts, memes and pick-up lines aplenty. He started sitting next to Jeonghan in class again, and he would say hi to Jeonghan whenever they would run into each other in public.
What wasn’t the same, however, was how Jeonghan was acting in return.
He stopped avoiding Seungcheol in public. He would wave back when the other man greeted him, even stopping to make conversation when he had extra time before class. If Seungcheol texted him good morning first, Jeonghan made sure he was the first to say good night.
He was trying.
With Seungcheol back in his daily routine, Jeonghan’s feelings of loneliness disappeared. He was feeling happier; lighter.
He was still trying to figure out why that was.
⟡⟡⟡
October, 2015
Jeonghan’s birthday fell on a Sunday that year, so he decided that, in the interest of everyone’s sleep schedules, they should celebrate the night before.
That’s how he found himself in his apartment on that Saturday night, getting ready to go out with Jisoo and taking one too many shots of vodka.
Now, Jeonghan didn’t have a lot of friends. Besides Jisoo, he had… well, just him, if he was being honest with himself.
(He supposed he could consider Seungcheol as his friend, now, too. Maybe. Potentially.)
He had acquaintances, of course - people from his classes who he would politely converse with, or who he could text if he needed a copy of their notes. But in terms of actual friends, well, he really only had the one (two?), and he was okay with that. He liked to keep his social circle small.
Which is why he was freaking out while on their way to the club where he and Jisoo were supposed to meet up with Seungcheol.
“What do you mean he’s bringing a date?!” Jeonghan shrieked, earning them a few harsh glares from people around them.
Jisoo shushed him, bowing apologetically to the strangers whose night Jeonghan had interrupted with his screaming. He looked back at his roommate. “I mean just that, he’s bringing a date. Someone named Jihoon.”
Jeonghan scoffed, “What kind of name is Jihoon? She sounds hideous.”
Jisoo flicked Jeonghan in the forehead, earning a yelp and a pout from the older man. “Don’t be rude. And Jihoon is a guy, stupid.”
Jeonghan rubbed the sore spot on his face. “Why would he bring a date to my birthday? I thought he liked me ?”
Jisoo shrugged. “Well, I mean, you aren’t interested in him. Maybe he finally got the memo and is moving on.”
At Jeonghan’s lack of a response, Jisoo looked at him and asked, “You aren’t interested in Seungcheol, right? ”
“No!” Jeonghan defended, though his pink cheeks told another story. Jisoo started laughing at his best friend’s expense. “I’m not! ”
“Whatever you say, Han,” Jisoo said, grabbing Jeonghan’s hand and swinging it between them. “If you’re not interested, then it shouldn’t be a problem that he’s bringing a date, right?”
Jeonghan conceded, not wanting to fuel his friend’s teasing any further. He wasn’t interested in Seungcheol, and he didn’t care that the other man had a date.
⟡⟡⟡
Jeonghan definitely cared that the other man had a date.
They’d been at the club for about an hour, and Jeonghan and Seungcheol had barely spoken five words to each other.
It wasn’t for lack of trying, however - Jeonghan was trying to talk to Seungcheol, but Seungcheol seemed to only want to talk to Jihoon.
“This is Jihoon,” Seuncheol had introduced once they all sat down at a booth together. “Jihoon, this is Jisoo, and the birthday boy, Jeonghan.”
“Nice to meet you both,” Jihoon had said, “Cheol hyung has told me a lot about you guys.”
“Funny,” Jeonghan said, swirling his straw around the rim of his cocktail, “he hasn’t told us anything about you.”
Jisoo elbowed Jeonghan in the side. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Jihoon. Ignore Jeonghan, he can’t hold his alcohol well.”
Ever since then, Seungcheol and Jihoon had spent the better part of their time there talking and laughing, barely even glancing Jeonghan’s way. Jisoo would interject, asking them questions and contributing to the conversation when he could.
The duo apparently went way back, and Seungcheol invited Jihoon out tonight so they could ‘spend some more time together.’
Jeonghan wasn’t jealous.
He wasn’t.
“Jihoon, you’re so funny!”
Jeonghan needed another drink.
He stood, smacking his palms on the table as he did so. “I’m gonna go get another drink!” He declared, “Does anyone else need anything?”
“You know my usual, Hannie,” Jisoo said.
“I’ll take another one,” Seungcheol requested, tipping his bottle in Jeonghan’s direction. “Need any help?”
“No, that’s alright -” Jeonghan began, but was cut off by Jihoon’s sudden voice.
“I’ll go with you,” he said, motioning for Seungcheol to step out of the booth so he could get up and stand next to Jeonghan.
Jeonghan’s lips pulled into a tight, insincere smile. “Sure, let’s go.”
He turned on his heel and began walking towards the bar, Jihoon walking directly behind him. He could feel the younger man’s eyes on the back of his head as they went.
“Short motherfucker…” Jeonghan mumbled to himself.
At the bar, he ordered another round of drinks for himself, Jisoo, and Seungcheol. Jihoon tacked his own drink onto the end, pulling out his card and offering it up to the bartender.
At Jeonghan’s hesitance to allow Jihoon to pay, the other man shrugged simply and said, “Consider it a birthday present.”
Jeonghan nodded. That was… nice, I guess.
“So, Seungcheol hyung tells me he met you after he kicked a soccer ball at your face,” Jihoon said.
Jeonghan laughed lightly at the memory, “Ah, yeah. He made me spill my coffee all over myself. It was embarrassing.”
Jihoon let out a chuckle of his own. “That’s my hyung for you.”
My hyung.
My.
Jeonghan swallowed, twisting his ring around his finger out of nervousness. Feeling a little loose-lipped from the alcohol he had already consumed, he said, “You two are really cute together.” The words felt wrong coming out of his mouth.
At Jihoon’s lack of a response, Jeonghan turned to look at him. His brows were furrowed in confusion, lips twisted to the side. “Cute together?”
“Yeah?” Jeonghan said, his own voice laced with confusion now. “I was a little surprised when I found out he was bringing a date, but you’re… you seem nice. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little cold to you tonight. I don’t do very well around new people.”
Jihoon nodded slowly. “That’s okay. Can I ask why you’ve been so cold towards me?”
Jeonghan took a moment to collect his thoughts, his hazy brain trying to piece together what he wanted to say. “I just thought that Seungcheol… that he… with me… ”
He shook his head, ridding the thoughts from his brain. He was talking to Seuncheol’s date, and bringing up Seungcheol’s (former?) crush on him was probably not going to do anything but cause trouble.
Jeonghan plastered on the biggest smile he could and turned his eyes to Jihoon, saying, “You know what? Nevermind, sorry. I get a little rambly when I’ve been drinking. Just ignore me.”
Before Jihoon could say anything in response, the bartender set their completed drinks in front of them. Jeonghan grabbed his and Jisoo’s, while Jihoon got his and Seungcheol’s, and the two made their way back to the booth.
Once they arrived, Jeonghan slid back in next to Jisoo, setting his drink on the coaster in front of him.
“Thanks, Hannie!” Jisoo smiled brightly.
As Jihoon placed his and Seungcheol’s drinks down, the older man made to stand up. Jihoon waved his hands at him, telling him to sit back down.
“I’m gonna go call Jonghoon, I told him I’d check in before midnight. I’ll be right back,” Jihoon said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and walking towards the exit.
“Who is Jonghoon?” Jisoo asked, just as Jeonghan took a sip of his new drink.
“Oh, he’s Jihoon’s boyfriend,” Seungcheol answered simply.
Jeonghan started choking.
He coughed, eyes watering and gripping his throat as Jisoo started pounding on his back. Seungcheol’s eyes were wide with alarm.
“His boyfriend?! ” Jeonghan asked once the coughing had subsided and he found his voice again.
“Yeah?” Seungcheol said, “They’ve been dating for like, two years. They just moved in together.”
Jeonghan’s jaw was hanging open, shock evident on his face. Jisoo didn’t look much different, but managed to say, “You said Jihoon was your date, though?”
Seungcheol let out a short laugh, though he was clearly confused by the questions he was getting. “Yeah, I guess? Not like a date-date, though. I just meant I was bringing him with me. Jihoon’s been my best friend since we were kids, he’s like a little brother to me. Since he’s always with Jonghoon now, we barely spend any time together anymore.”
Jisoo looked over at Jeonghan, whose face was still morphed into an expression of shock. “Hannie?”
Snapping out of it at the sound of his name, Jeonghan stood suddenly, announcing, “I’ve gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll be - I’ll be right back.” He stumbled his way away from the booth before Jisoo or Seungcheol could say anything to him, making a beeline for the restroom and shutting the door behind himself. It was thankfully empty, so Jeonghan could have his impending meltdown in peace.
Breathing heavily, he stomped over to the sinks and turned the tap on. He cupped both of his hands under the cold water and splashed it onto his face and neck, then used a paper towel from the dispenser to pat himself dry.
“You’re fine,” he mumbled to himself. “You’re fine, it’s fine, you’re fine .”
Jeonghan felt a little crazy, but he didn’t know how else to feel.
He had spent the entire night so far being… upset? angry? perturbed? about Seungcheol bringing a date to his birthday celebration. He’d been rude to Jihoon, only for it to turn out that, not only were they best friends, but that Jihoon had a boyfriend.
Jeonghan felt crazy, and also a little bit stupid. Because why did he even care? It’s not like he had feelings for Seungcheol…
Right?
Just as Jeonghan was tossing his used paper towel in the bin, the bathroom door flew open, a panting Seungcheol standing in the doorway.
“Jeonghan,” he breathed, “are you okay? What just happened?”
“Nothing, Cheol,” he said, shaking his head and trying to walk past the other man. “Let’s go back to the table, our drinks are gonna get warm -”
“ No, Han,” Seungcheol snapped, stepping towards Jeonghan, which caused him to walk backwards back into the bathroom. Jeonghan’s lower back hit the edge of the sinks. Seungcheol was practically caging him in. “You’ve been acting weird all night, then Jisoo tells me you both thought I was on a date with Jihoon, and then you get up and run away as soon as you find out I wasn’t. Please tell me what’s going on, because I am so lost right now.”
Jeonghan gulped, finding it hard to push the next words out of his throat. “I don’t know, Cheol. I don’t know why I’m feeling or acting this way right now. I already apologized to Jihoon. I’m sorry.”
Seungcheol shook his head. “You don’t need to be sorry, I just don’t understand. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were…” his eyes widened.
“What?” Jeonghan asked, “I’m what?”
“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol began, shuffling minutely closer into Jeonghan’s space, “were you jealous ?”
Jeonghan sputtered, “What? Jealous? Me? That’s crazy, no way. I’m, I’m not…”
Was he?
It would explain the instant upset he felt when Jisoo told him that Seungcheol was bringing a date. It would also explain why he felt the need to be so cold towards Jihoon all night, and why his chest tightened every time Jihoon and Seungcheol laughed with each other.
It would also explain why he felt such intense… relief once he realized they weren’t dating.
Oh, fuck.
“Oh, fuck,” Jeonghan said, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. He was starting to feel dizzy. “Oh, fuck, I was jealous.”
A pair of hands wrapped around his wrists, gently prying his palms away from his face. Jeonghan blinked up at Seungcheol, whose eyes seemed to be sparkling, and whose lips were set into a gentle smile.
“Jeonghan,” he began, his voice much softer than when he had said Jeonghan’s name a minute earlier, “can I kiss you?”
Jeonghan, voice failing him, just nodded his consent.
The grin he was awarded with was blinding, all of Seungcheol’s gummy teeth on display. He cupped his hands around Jeonghan’s cheeks and leaned in, brushing his lips against the other’s in the most tender first kiss he had ever had in his life. Jeonghan’s eyes slipped closed, his own hands going up to rest on Seungcheol’s shoulders.
The kiss didn’t last for long - a few seconds, at most - but it was undoubtedly the best first kiss Jeonghan had ever had before.
Seungcheol pulled back a bit, his face still close enough to Jeonghan’s that their noses were almost touching. “I really like you,” he whispered.
Jeonghan was starting to think he really liked Seungcheol, too.
A sudden beeping from Seungcheol’s watch broke them out of their quiet atmosphere. He glanced down at it briefly before a small smirk tugged at his lips.
“It’s midnight,” he told Jeonghan. “Happy birthday, Hannie.”
Jeonghan thanked Seungcheol by gripping one hand around his neck and pulling him in for another chaste kiss.
(Hours later, Jeonghan had asked Seungcheol when his birthday was.
“August 8th,” he said.
“August 8th?” Jeonghan repeated, “That’s around when we met.”
Seungcheol’s cheeks turned pink. “It was a few days after.”
Jihoon cooed, “Cheol hyung was so cute, at dinner that night he told me he met an angel, and that you were the universe’s early birthday present to him.”
Jeonghan’s cheeks somehow turned pinker than Seungcheol’s.)
⟡⟡⟡
Everything was basically the same after that night. The biggest difference was that Seungcheol and Jeonghan started hanging out. Like, a lot.
(There was also the kissing. They did that a lot, too.)
When they passed each other in public and stopped to chat for a second, Jeonghan would leave Seungcheol blushing with a peck on his cheek goodbye.
When they studied together in the library, Seungcheol would sneak a cheeky kiss on the lips behind the stacks of books, which would earn him a light smack on the arm from a red-faced Jeonghan.
When Seungcheol would pay for Jeonghan’s croissants (which he finally fessed up to doing in secret), Jeonghan would give him a kiss smack on the lips in the middle of the coffee shop for everyone to see. He would then wave goodbye to head off to class, leaving Seungcheol dazed while Jisoo snickered delightedly behind the counter.
Jeonghan’s favorite kissing, however, happened in the quiet moments where they were sitting together on his couch or in his bed. The credits of whatever movie or drama they were watching would be rolling, both men unaware of this fact as they whispered quietly to each other and shared small, affectionate pecks.
Weeks after their first kiss (“In a bathroom? Really?” Jisoo had sneered when he found out), Jeonghan could finally admit to himself that he really, really liked Seungcheol.
“So, remind me again why you two aren’t boyfriends yet?” Jisoo asked as he and Jeonghan walked together towards campus one morning. Jisoo was going in for his shift, and Jeonghan was going to meet Seungcheol for coffee before his first class.
Jeonghan shrugged, “We haven’t really talked about it. I’m fine with how things are now, though. I don’t mind.”
⟡⟡⟡
Jeonghan most certainly did mind.
He was sitting with Jisoo and Jihoon at some shitty Halloween party, the red solo cup in his hand on the verge of being crushed due to the sheer force he was currently squeezing it with.
“Why is he still talking to her?” He asked aloud.
Jisoo turned his attention back to Jeonghan, “Hmm?”
Jeonghan gestured with his chin. “Seungcheol. Why is he still talking to that girl? It’s been like, ten minutes.”
Jihoon looked over to where his best friend was currently conversing with a short, dark haired girl dressed as a cat. “Oh, that’s Hana. Her and hyung dated in high school. I didn’t know she went to school here.”
“ What?!” Jeonghan sputtered, “They dated? ”
Jihoon nodded, “Yeah, for like a year and a half. She’s my age, so they broke up when he left for college.”
“Hannie, it’s probably nothing. They might just be catching up,” Jisoo tried to comfort him, already sensing the panic rising in his friend.
Jeonghan chewed on his bottom lip, looking back towards where his not- boyfriend was laughing at something Hana said to him. She placed her hand on his bicep, squeezing it lightly before she beckoned for him to lean down. He did so, allowing her to whisper something in his ear. His eyes widened momentarily before he leaned back, smiling softly and telling her something in return. Jeonghan wished he was better at reading lips so he could know what the two were talking about.
After a few more exchanged words, Hana hugged Seungcheol and walked away. Seungcheol was still smiling as he made his way back over to the rest of the group.
“Hey, sorry I was gone for so long. I ran into Hana,” he told them.
“We saw,” Jihoon informed him.
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, “Oh, really?”
Jihoon just nodded.
Seungcheol turned his attention to Jeonghan, “Hana is -”
“Your ex?” Jeonghan spat, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back onto the couch.
“Uh,” Seungcheol said dumbly, “yeah. She’s my ex.”
Jeonghan clicked his teeth, turning his head away so he wasn’t looking at Seungcheol anymore. He was not pouting.
(He was definitely pouting.)
“Hannie? Did I do something?” Seungcheol asked. When he didn’t get a response, he looked towards Jisoo and Jihoon for guidance. Both men shook their heads and shrugged - they didn’t know what was going on either.
Seungcheol sighed, placing his hand on Jeonghan’s knee, “Baby, can you tell me what’s going on?”
Jeonghan was a sucker for a cute pet name, damn it, so with a huff he turned his gaze back to Seungcheol and asked, “What did she want? To get back together with you?”
Seungcheol blinked once, twice, and then, “Well, yeah, she did.”
Jeonghan gaped at him, “She did?! ”
“Yeah,” Seungcheol told him, “Hannie, can we talk about this somewhere private? I don’t really -”
“Oh my god,” Jeonghan exclaimed, scooting away from Seungcheol so they weren’t touching anymore. “Oh my god, she asked you back out and you said yes, and this is how you’re gonna break up with me -”
“You two aren’t even together,” Jisoo reminded.
“We might as well be!” Jeonghan snapped at his best friend. “Not that that matters now, Seungcheol is going to get back together with his ex and I’m gonna be alone forever, what the fu-”
“Alright, that’s enough!” Seungcheol exclaimed, standing up suddenly and pulling Jeonghan to his feet. “Come on, come with me.”
He gripped Jeonghan lightly by his wrist, leading him towards the, thankfully, unoccupied bathroom at the end of the hallway. He shut the door behind them, locking it before he turned around to face Jeonghan. “Han, what was that?”
“What?” Jeonghan asked, arms crossed again, gaze glued to the floor.
“I’m not getting back together with Hana,” Seungcheol said in lieu of an answer.
Jeonghan glanced up at him through his lashes. “You’re not?”
“No,” Seungcheol replied, “and I don’t even know what gave you the idea that I was.”
Jeonghan sighed, his shoulders dropping down and his hands falling to his side. “She kept touching you, and you were smiling and laughing a lot. You seemed really happy. I just thought…”
Seungcheol took a step closer, “We were having a good time talking and catching up. We haven’t seen each other since I graduated. Then she asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime, to try to pick up where we left off. I told her no.”
“Why?” Jeonghan asked in a timid voice.
Seungcheol took another step, “I told her that I’m dating someone already. That I’m really into him, and that I was gonna ask him to officially be my boyfriend soon.”
Jeonghan pouted, though he took his own tentative step towards Seungcheol. “You did?”
Seungcheol nodded, taking the final step to close the distance between them and nestling his hands on either side of Jeonghan’s waist. Jeonghan’s own hands reached up to clasp behind Seungcheol’s neck. “I did. I didn’t really want to ask you in a bathroom, though.”
Jeonghan threw his head back, his eyes crinkling shut as he laughed loudly. “Our first kiss was in a bathroom, so this is very on brand for us.”
Seungcheol let out his own laugh in return, “I guess you’re right. Hannie, will you be my boyfriend?”
Jeonghan smiled sweetly, “Of course, Cheollie. I’ll be your boyfriend.”
What happened next could hardly be counted as an actual kiss since they both couldn’t stop smiling, but in Jeonghan’s mind, it was perfect.
(“Sorry for being jealous all the time,” Jeonghan told Seungcheol later, after they had exited the bathroom and ignored the line of angry partygoers who had been waiting outside.
“Don’t be,” Seungcheol told him, “I think it’s hot.”)
⟡⟡⟡
November, 2015
Cheollie 💕
good morning baby!
Hannie 💙👼🏼
Hi honey <333 good morning
Cheollie 💕
<3
are you and jisoo still good for lunch today?
Hannie 💙👼🏼
Yes we will be there!!
I’m nervous to meet your other friends, though
What if they don’t like me or think I’m not good enough for you? :/
Cheolie 💕
wonwoo and seokmin are harmless
jihoon was the one you should have been worried about, and you get along great
i don’t think it’s physically possible to not love you, honestly
(“Why are you blushing so much?” Jisoo asked.
Jeonghan squeaked, hiding his phone against his chest. “I’m not!”)
⟡⟡⟡
December, 2015
Since they had gotten together, Jeonghan and Seungcheol spent as much time with each other as physically possible, which meant that the first time they were going to be separated for an extended period of time made them both miserable .
Their finals were over and the school year was done, which meant that winter break was starting. Jeonghan was going to his parent’s place in Seoul for a week, whereas Seungcheol was heading all the way back to Daegu.
It was the night before Jeonghan was going to see Seungcheol off at the train station. They were lying together in Jeonghan’s bed, speaking softly and holding hands between their bodies.
“I’m not out to my parents,” Jeonghan confessed, a lump forming in his throat as he spoke. “I wanna come out to them this week. I want them to know about you.”
Seungcheol’s hands squeezed tighter around Jeonghan’s. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Jeonghan whispered back.
“Will you be safe?”
“I don’t know.”
“Baby,” Seungcheol began, reaching a hand over to push Jeonghan’s hair out of his face. It was getting really long, often falling into his eyes. “If you might not be safe, you don’t need to do it yet. Not for my sake.”
Jeonghan shook his head, his shining eyes boring into Seungcheol’s. The hitch in his voice was evident when he said, “I can’t keep you a secret from them. You don’t deserve to be a secret. I wanna tell them about you. I wanna tell the whole world about you.”
Seungcheol, speechless at his boyfriend’s words, gathered him in his arms. He pulled their bodies together, chests touching, and kissed Jeonghan breathless.
⟡⟡⟡
Seungcheol was playing a rousing game of Yutnori with his parents and older brother when an incoming call from Jisoo popped up on his phone.
He excused himself, apologizing to his family and promising he would be back soon. He stepped into his old bedroom, shutting the door softly behind himself before he answered. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Jisoo said, his voice hushed, “are you busy?”
“I’m just playing games with my family,” he replied. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Uh,” Jisoo started, pausing momentarily before he continued. “Not really. Jeonghan is back.”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “He is? I thought he wasn’t gonna be back until Sunday?”
“That was his original plan,” Jisoo informed him, “until he told his parents this morning that he was gay and had a boyfriend. He showed up here crying with a bunch of boxes.”
Seungcheol gaped, unable to control the alarm in his voice as he yelled, “ They kicked him out ?!”
“Yeah,” Jisoo said, “they did. I think they said a lot of really bad stuff to him, Cheol, but he won’t tell me what any of it was. As soon as we got his stuff inside and he stopped crying, he went into his room and fell asleep.”
“Fuck,” Seungcheol cursed, “what should we do? Is he gonna be okay?”
“I really don’t know,” Jisoo admitted.
The two spoke for another minute before they hung up, with Jisoo promising to give Seungcheol an update about Jeonghan later once he was awake. As soon as their call ended, Seungcheol threw his phone on the bed, groaning and running his hands through his hair.
A tentative knock came at his door, followed by his mother’s soft voice asking, “Seungcheol? Sweetie, is everything okay?”
Seungcheol opened the door, immediately pulling his mom into a bone-crushing hug.
Seungcheol had come out to his parents when he was fourteen, telling them that he looked at boys the same way he looked at girls. They had accepted it wholeheartedly, never questioning if it was just a phase or treating Seungcheol any differently. They were ecstatic when Seungcheol told them about Jeonghan, telling them that he thinks he met ‘ the one.’
“Jeonghan’s roommate just called me. Jeonghan came out to his parents and they kicked him out,” he told her, squeezing her tighter. “I’m just so sad for him. I don’t know what to do.”
His mother wrapped her arms around his shoulders, “Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetie. That’s horrible. Is he okay?”
“No, I don’t think so. His roommate said he was crying a lot.”
They pulled back from their embrace, and Seungcheol’s mother told him, “You should go back to Seoul.”
Seungcheol gawked at her, sputtering out, “But, mom, I’m not supposed to leave until next week -”
She held her hand up to stop Seungcheol from saying anything else. “Cheolie, as much as your father and I love having you here, we’ll be fine if you have to leave a little early. Your boy needs you right now.”
Seungcheol stared at his mom for a moment longer before he burst into tears. He hid his face in his hands, relishing in the feel of his mom petting his back in an attempt to comfort him. “Thank you for always accepting me. I wish Jeonghan could have this, too.”
His mother pried his hands away from his face, giving him a soft smile that showed her age as the wrinkles by her eyes became more prominent. “He’ll have it here. He can be a part of our family now.”
Seungcheol just cried even harder.
⟡⟡⟡
Later that night, Jisoo was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand. He had finally managed to get Jeonghan to eat something small, only stopping when Jeonghan gagged and refused to eat anything else. The other man was sleeping again, clearly exhausted from such an emotionally taxing day.
A knock sounded at their door, which caused Jisoo to furrow his brows in confusion, wondering who could be showing up at their apartment this late.
He set his glass down on the table and stood, tightening his robe around his torso. He peeked through their peep-hole, shocked at who he saw standing on the other side. He flung the door open, letting out a surprised, “Seungcheol?!”
“Where is he?” Seungcheol panted. His suitcase was sitting in the hall behind him.
“In his room,” Jisoo answered, opening the door wider to let him inside.
Seungcheol nodded, pulling his suitcase through the door and toeing his shoes off before all but running to Jeonghan’s room. He knocked on the door, only entering once he heard a quiet come in from the other side.
Jeonghan was lying on his side with his blanket pulled up to his chin. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were coated in dried tears.
“Hi, baby,” Seungcheol whispered.
Jeonghan broke down again.
Seungcheol shut the door behind him before he rushed to his boyfriend’s side, crawling under the covers with him and pulling him against his chest. They were in almost the same position that they were the night before Seungcheol left, when Jeonghan first spoke about his plan to come out.
“Why can’t they just love me?” Jeonghan sobbed, “What did I do wrong? ”
Seungcheol kissed Jeonghan’s forehead. He didn’t have an answer to give to his distraught boyfriend. He didn’t know either.
⟡⟡⟡
January, 2016
Jeonghan should have known his parents would cut him off financially after everything that happened, though that didn’t stop him from exploding into embarrassed tears when his card got declined while trying to buy a kimbap from the convenience store near his apartment.
He managed to scrounge together enough coins from the bottom of his bag to pay for the food and apologized profusely to the cashier before he ran out, deciding then to find another GS25 to shop at. He returned home after and checked his account, seeing the entire thing drained. His heart plummeted.
Now, Jeonghan was on a full academic scholarship. This included his tuition, textbooks, and room and board.
It did not, however, include all of the other things he needed to pay for, like his phone bill and food, which is how he found himself standing behind the counter of Sunday Mornings at 6 AM on a Saturday.
Jisoo had managed to get Jeonghan a part-time position as a barista with the opportunity to pick up more shifts if they needed him to. He was eternally grateful for his best friend, and would never be able to thank him enough for helping him get a job on such short notice.
He would also secretly curse Jisoo’s name, because Jeonghan was still not a morning person.
Despite the last few months of waking up early for his science class, Jeonghan was still notoriously grumpy before 9 AM and before his first cup (or three) of coffee. While most of his shifts were occurring in the afternoons, he was always, for some reason, scheduled to work the Saturday morning opening shift that required him to come in at 6 AM alongside his unusually chipper roommate.
“Han, make sure your hair is tied back!” Jisoo reminded him.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jeonghan grumbled, pulling his freshly-dyed black hair back into a low ponytail. He missed his blonde hair already, but with limited funds and overgrown roots, he couldn’t justify spending money to go back to his usual salon anymore (and, as sweet as it was, he didn’t trust Seungcheol’s offer to bleach his roots. He'd rather have black hair than no hair).
The first hour of their shift was always spent performing their opening duties; starting up all of the machines, putting new pastries out into the display cases, and counting the money in the cash register, among other things. Jeonghan found that this time always moved particularly slowly despite Jisoo’s morning pump-up playlist blaring through the speakers. He just could never seem to fully wake up.
(It certainly didn’t help that Jeonghan had been awake most of the night before after receiving a text from his mom informing him that the rest of his belongings would be dropped off at his doorstep within the next week. He had been crying and shaking for most of the night. His angel of a boyfriend had stayed up with him, holding him close and promising him that everything would be okay.)
Despite the shop opening at 7 AM, customers didn’t usually start filtering in on these early Saturday mornings until around 7:30 or 8, which is why Jeonghan was surprised to see their first customer of the day standing outside of the front door at 7 o’clock on the dot.
“Cheol?” He asked as he opened the door to let his waiting boyfriend inside, “What are you doing here so early? You were still sleeping when I left.”
Seungcheol stepped inside, giving Jeonghan a quick peck on his cheek. “Thought you could use some company.”
Jeonghan’s eyes softened, a small smile growing on his face. He still chided his boyfriend, “Honey, that’s really sweet, but you stayed up late with me last night. You should get some rest -”
Seungcheol cut him off, shaking his head. “We can take a nap together later after you get off, then get ready to go out with the guys.” He unwound his scarf from his neck, setting it and his bookbag on the table closest to the register. He hung his jacket on the back of the chair before looking back at Jeonghan. “If you’re still up for going out, that is?”
Jeonghan nodded, “Yeah, baby. I still wanna go. You want an americano?”
“Sure,” Seungcheol replied, sitting down at the table and pulling his laptop out of his bag. They were on winter break and no classes were in session, so Jeonghan knew that Seungcheol didn’t actually have anything to work on and was just trying to look busy so Jeonghan wouldn’t try to send him home to sleep again.
(Jeonghan thought he might be a little bit in love.)
Once it was ready, Jeonghan placed the iced americano, along with a fresh blueberry muffin, next to Seungcheol on the table. Seungcheol gave him a beaming, gummy smile in return, grabbing Jeonghan’s hand with a squeeze and saying, “Thanks, babe. How much do I owe you?”
Jeonghan squeezed Seungcheol’s hand back, using his other one to cup Seungcheol’s face and run his thumb lightly across his cheek. “It’s on me today. Thank you for last night.”
Seungcheol gave him a small, sad smile, “You don’t have to thank me for that, Hannie. I’d do anything for you.”
(Okay. Jeonghan might be a lot in love.)
Before Jeonghan could respond, Jisoo stepped out from the backroom. A disgusted look crossed his face once his eyes landed on the couple, “ Eugh, do you two ever give it a rest? Some of us are single!”
“And you will be forever when your face looks all scrunched up like that,” Jeonghan retorted, giving his best friend a pitying smile. He stepped away from Seungcheol, heading back behind the counter and washing the things that he had used to make Seungcheol’s drink. “You look like you’re smelling something particularly gross.”
Jisoo sneered, “It is gross. Can you two go be loved-up somewhere else?”
“Hey, Jisoo,” Seungcheol chimed in, waiting until Jisoo turned to look at him before he continued, “are you still good to come out with us tonight?”
Jisoo sighed, “I don’t know, probably not. I’m really tired -”
“Seokmin will be there,” Seungcheol cut him off, a devious smirk on his face.
Jisoo’s eyes widened, his mouth snapping shut. He looked at Jeonghan, who also had a devious smirk on his face. “Oh, god, you’re both evil! You’re perfect for each other!” He threw his hands up in exasperation, turning and heading back towards the stockroom, muttering something about grabbing more coffee beans.
“So you’re coming?” Seungcheol called out in question.
“ Yes! ” Jisoo snapped, voice echoing from behind the curtain that led to the back. Jeonghan let out an evil giggle, grinning at Seungcheol, who awarded him with a wink.
(Yeah, Jeonghan was in love.)
⟡⟡⟡
February, 2016
They got into their first argument right before the lunar new year.
It happened on another Wednesday.
They had spent the previous night out with their friends, and Jeonghan had decided to stay at Seungcheol’s apartment after since it was closer than his. After they woke up that morning, they sipped their coffee at Seungcheol’s small kitchen table and talked quietly as they tried to figure out their plans for the day.
Seungcheol set his coffee down, grabbing his phone from in front of him and turning the screen on. “I still need to book a taxi from the train station to my parent’s house in Daegu, they’re gonna be crazy expensive during Seollal. I’m hoping if I book it in advance I’ll get a discount.”
Jeonghan hummed, gripping his fingers around his mug and savoring the warmth it was giving to his chilled hands. “When are you leaving again?”
Seungcheol cleared his throat, suddenly looking nervous. His eyes darted up to Jeonghan, then back down to his phone.
Jeonghan raised an eyebrow, already suspicious of his guilty-looking boyfriend. “Cheol?”
“I actually meant to talk to you about something,” Seungcheol started hesitantly, setting his phone face down on the table and turning his full attention to Jeonghan. “I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to come to Daegu with me and meet my family?”
Jeonghan blinked, “When?”
Seungcheol gave a sheepish smile, “In two days?”
Jeonghan’s eyes widened, mouth agape. “ Two days?! Choi Seungcheol -”
Seungcheol whined, “Don’t call me Seungcheol! I prefer ‘baby.’
Jeonghan glared at him, eyes narrowed. “ Choi Seungcheol, you are not seriously asking me two days ahead of time if I will go home and meet your family. Tell me that is not what you are doing right now.”
A moment of silence. “I cannot tell you that.”
“Damn it, Cheol!” Jeonghan groaned, standing up and pacing around the small space. He could already feel the anxiety clawing at his chest. “It’s too soon for that!"
“Too soon for what?” Seungcheol questioned, “Too soon to meet my family?”
“Yes!” Jeonghan confirmed, “I’m not ready to meet them! It’s too soon. I mean, we haven’t even been together officially for four months -”
“So?” Seungcheol intercepted, standing up as well and putting his empty mug into the sink. “It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together. I really care about you, and my mom is really excited to meet you.” He began to wash the few dishes in his sink when it registered to him what he had just said. He slowly turned his eyes to Jeonghan, who was silently fuming.
Jeonghan took a deep breath in an attempt to keep his composure, though he wasn’t doing a very good job. “What do you mean your mom is excited to meet me? Did you already tell her that I was coming?”
At Seungcheol’s silence, Jeonghan let out a disgruntled laugh before stomping towards the bedroom. Seungcheol dried his hands quickly and chased after his boyfriend.
“Jeonghan, I was supposed to ask you a while ago, but I kept forgetting -”
Jeonghan spun on his heel, “Just how long ago were you supposed to ask me?”
Seungcheol winced, “My mom mentioned inviting you when I was home in December -”
“That was two months ago, Seungcheol!” Jeonghan turned back towards the bedroom, marching in and grabbing his discarded clothes off of the floor. He pulled on his jeans over his boxers, and his rumpled hoodie over his head. “We’ve been together literally every single day since then. You had plenty of opportunities to ask me.”
“I know, I know and I’m sorry, but you’ve been so upset since everything happened with your parents, I didn’t know how -”
Jeonghan let out an annoyed shriek, “Don’t bring them up!” He unplugged his phone charger from his side of the bed, tossing it into his messenger bag that sat next to the closet door. He zipped up the top and stood, throwing it over his shoulder, and made his way towards the front door.
Alarmed, Seungcheol followed him and asked, “Where are you going?”
Jeonghan slipped his shoes on, “To my apartment, to pack, since apparently I’m going to Daegu in two days! I don’t even have a train ticket, Cheol, how am I supposed to get there -”
“I booked your train ticket with mine,” Seungcheol admitted.
Jeonghan scoffed, “You were just so certain that I was gonna say yes, huh?”
Seungcheol’s eyes turned pleading, “Jeonghan, please - ”
Jeonghan opened the front door, “I can’t do this, Seungcheol.”
“You can’t do what? Talk about this right now? That’s okay, let me at least come with you, I just have to put some pants on -”
“ No, Cheol,” Jeonghan cut off his rambling. His back was turned to Seungcheol. His voice wavered as he spoke, “I can’t do this. Us. I can’t do this with us anymore. I’m sorry.”
Seungcheol’s eyes widened, reaching a hand out to touch Jeonghan’s shoulder, “Baby, wait, no, what are you talking about -”
Jeonghan wrenched his shoulder out of Seungcheol’s grasp, uttering another cracked ‘ I’m sorry’ as he made his way down the hallway and away from Seungcheol’s apartment.
“ Jeonghan! ” Seungcheol shouted, though his cry fell on deaf ears. Jeonghan was already running down the stairs, and away from Seungcheol.
⟡⟡⟡
Jisoo was having a perfectly quiet morning, sipping his tea and flicking through his Instagram feed (and liking Seokmin’s latest post from their group hangout the night prior), when the front door slammed open and a sobbing Jeonghan rushed through the living room.
“Hannie?” Jisoo questioned, jumping off of the couch and following his clearly distraught best friend. He walked into Jeonghan’s room, seeing the other man sitting on the edge of his bed crying and struggling to take proper breaths. He was hyperventilating.
Sitting next to him, Jisoo said, “Hey, Han, you’ve gotta breathe. Can you breathe with me? Take a big breath in… hold it, hold it… let it out slowly…”
Jeonghan tried his best to follow Jisoo’s instructions, though his breaths still hiccuped a couple of times before he was able to get them under control. After his breathing was back to normal and his tears had slowed, Jisoo ventured to ask, “What happened? I thought you were at Cheol’s?”
At the mention of his (ex?) boyfriend’s name, Jeonghan’s eyes turned blurry again. “I think I broke up with him.”
Jisoo’s eyes widened, and his eyebrows raised. “You think ? What do you mean you think you broke up with him?”
Jeonghan’s voice wavered as he spoke, “We got into a fight. I told him I couldn’t do ‘us’ anymore and left.”
“Jeonghan,” Jisoo said sympathetically, though Jeonghan could hear the slight air of judgment in his roommate’s tone, “what happened? What did you fight about?”
Jeonghan took a deep breath before he gave Jisoo the condensed version of events, “He asked me to go meet his family in Daegu in two days, Jisoo. He’s had two months to ask me, and he waited until today. That’s not even the worst part, though - he already told his mom I was coming and bought my train ticket! Without even asking me!”
Jisoo sighed, “I mean, yeah. That’s not great, Han. I don’t know what Cheol was thinking, he should have talked to you before doing all of that. You’re right to be upset.”
A moment passed. Jeonghan asked, “But?”
“But,” Jisoo began, putting a comforting hand on Jeonghan’s back, “why did you break up with him for that? He’s definitely in the wrong, so I get why you’re mad. But a full-on break up? You don’t think you could have talked it out?”
Jeonghan shook his head, “It’s not just that, Jisoo. We probably could have talked it out, I know we could have.”
Jisoo raised a confused brow, “Then why?”
“Because,” Jeonghan’s voice stuttered as he spoke, tears threatening to fall again, “I can’t meet his family. They’re going to hate me, and Seungcheol shouldn’t be with someone his family doesn’t like.”
“Jeonghan, what are you talking about? Why would they hate you?”
Jeonghan sniffled, looking down at his hands. “My own parents don’t even want me, why would his?”
Jisoo opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a series of frantic knocks at their front door. A muffled shout of Jeonghan! came through the wood. It was Seungcheol.
“Do you want me to tell him to go away?” Jisoo asked, already standing and ready to send Seungcheol back to his own home.
Jeonghan sighed, standing up as well. He walked out into their shared living area and towards the front door. “No, I’ll tell him to go. I’m sorry, Ji.”
Jeonghan opened the door, a cautious Jisoo standing a few feet behind him and ready to intervene if need-be. On the other side was Seungcheol, no longer in his pajamas, but in a pair of dark jeans and a large puffer coat, holding a fresh bouquet of pink and purple flowers in his hand. Jeonghan remembers seeing them on sale at the convenience store the night before. “Seungcheol, don’t -”
“I love you.”
Somewhere from behind, Jisoo let out a quiet gasp before silence enveloped the apartment. Jeonghan’s mouth was hanging open, eyes wide, his previous words dried up on his tongue.
Seuncheol’s expression was set into a determined stare, his eyebrows furrowed together and his lips pinched shut. He thrust his arm out, holding the flowers out to Jeonghan, who took them in shaky hands.
After another moment of awkward quiet, Jisoo cleared his throat. “I’m uh - I’m gonna go to my room.” He turned away from the duo before him, hurried steps carrying him to his bedroom. He shut the door behind him, leaving Jeonghan and Seungcheol alone.
One beat more, and Jeonghan said, “Come inside.”
Seungcheol toed off his shoes and shut the door behind him as Jeonghan went about finding a vase to put the flowers in. As he was digging through their kitchen cupboards, Seungcheol stood behind him nervously, twiddling his fingers and chewing on his bottom lip.
Just as Jeonghan found a pitcher to set the flowers in and began filling it with water, Seungcheol broke the silence to ask, “Hannie?”
“Wait, please,” Jeonghan asked. Seungcheol, confused, just nodded his head and gave a hum of acknowledgement.
Once the flowers were safely nestled in their bath and placed on the tiny dining table that sat next to the fridge, Jeonghan approached Seungcheol and held out his hand. Seungcheol grasped onto it without hesitation, and Jeonghan led the older man to his bedroom. After they were both inside with the door clicked shut behind them, Jeonghan pulled Seungcheol down to sit next to him on the edge of the bed.
The room was enveloped in silence, their quiet breathing the only thing either of them could hear. Their hands were still clasped between them. Jeonghan’s eyes were glued to the floor.
Seungcheol waited, and waited, until he couldn’t bear the silence anymore. “Jeonghan -”
“Tell me again,” Jeonghan interrupted.
“What?”
“Tell me you love me again.”
Seungcheol paused for a moment, processing the request, and then, “I love you, Yoon Jeonghan.”
Seungcheol’s words caused Jeonghan to finally spring into action, turning and looking his lover in the eyes. He grabbed onto Seungcheol’s cheeks, pulling him into a deep, heartstopping kiss. Seungcheol kissed him back just as enthusiastically, tangling his fingers into the hair at the base of Jeonghan’s skull.
After a minute, they pulled apart for air. Seungcheol blinked his dazed eyes open, immediately being sent into a state of panic once he saw Jeonghan’s teary eyes. “Hannie -”
“I love you so much , Choi Seungcheol.”
Seungcheol’s breath hitched in his throat. “You do?”
Jeonghan nodded. “So, so much.”
“Then why?” Seungcheol asked softly, his own voice cracking with emotion, “Why did you leave earlier? Let me in. Please. ”
Jeonghan’s face crumbled, salty tears streaking down his face as he spoke, “I’m sorry, Cheol. I’m so sorry. I’m just so scared.”
“Of what?” Seungcheol questioned, using his thumbs to wipe the wetness off of Jeonghan’s face. “Tell me what’s going on, baby.”
“I want to meet your family,” Jeonghan started, “I really do. I didn’t mean it when I said it was too soon; I know that I love you, it doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together. But Cheol -” he hiccuped, taking a moment to control his breathing before he continued. Seungcheol’s warm palm running up and down his spine helped pull him back together enough to continue speaking. “But what if they hate me? What if they think I’m too bitchy or too feminine or too much? What if they see my long hair and think that I’m a girl, or, or -”
“Wait, wait, baby stop,” Seungcheol cut him off, brows pulled together in concern, “what are you talking about? Why would they think that about you?”
“That’s what my parents told me,” Jeonghan said, wincing at the memory. “The day they kicked me out. That they hated having a son with ‘girl hair,’ that they were embarrassed by me being gay, that I needed to ‘be a man.’”
Seungcheol, who went from confused to fuming at Jeonghan’s words, was suddenly struck by the memory of something Jisoo said on the phone that day, when he called after Jeonghan had arrived back home from his parent’s.
I think they said a lot of really bad stuff to him, Cheol, but he won’t tell me what any of it was. As soon as we got his stuff inside and he stopped crying, he went into his room and fell asleep.
“Baby,” Seungcheol said, cupping Jeonghan’s jaw in both hands and brushing their noses together, “your parents are wrong. They’re homophobic and ignorant and fucking wrong. You aren’t too much, you aren’t bitchy, and you most certainly are not embarrassing. You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I will remind you every single day for the rest of our lives if I have to of how in love I am with you. With you. All of you. Every part of you.”
Jeonghan sobbed, throwing his arms and all of his body weight on top of Seungcheol. The two landed in a heap on the bed, limbs tangled. Jeonghan took heaving breaths, crying into Seungcheol’s neck while he gripped tightly onto his shoulders. Seungcheol did what he could to soothe his crying boyfriend, shushing him and petting a comforting hand down his back.
“I love you -” a hiccup, “ so much. I am in love with you, too, Choi Seungcheol.”
(Seungcheol may have shed tears of his own, after that.)
(A while later, after everything had calmed down, and the two were sitting together at the head of Jeonghan’s bed, Seungcheol told Jeonghan about his family, and his own coming out story.
He also told Jeonghan his mother’s words from months earlier, about how Jeonghan could be part of their family now. Jeonghan burst into tears again, though these ones were for a much happier reason.)
⟡⟡⟡
Jeonghan did end up going to Daegu for Lunar New Year.
(He also lectured Seungcheol for the entire day before they left about how he was still irritated that Seungcheol hadn’t asked him about going on the trip sooner, and bought his train ticket without asking. Seungcheol admitted that he was wrong, and the two made a promise to each other to be open and honest with each other from then on, even if they thought the other might get upset.
Seungcheol did show up at Jeonghan’s apartment the morning of their trip with his favorite coffee and a fresh chocolate croissant, though, so Jeonghan really couldn’t stay mad after that.)
Even though Jeonghan was still scared, Seungcheol was right; his parents were wonderful. They welcomed him into their home immediately with open arms, and treated him like he was their family already.
(If he shed a few tears at the dinner table after Seungcheol’s dad called him son , well, nobody mentioned it.)
⟡⟡⟡
A few days after they returned home from Seungcheol’s parents was Valentine’s day. They spent the day together, cozied up in Seungcheol’s apartment since Jisoo had ‘banned all love’ from his and Jeonghan’s place. They had takeout and a cheap bottle of wine that they bought from the convenience store downstairs.
They agreed to not get each other presents since Jeonghan was still low on extra funds, but that didn’t stop him from surprising Seungcheol with some of his favorite candy and a copy of the new video game that he had been saying he wanted.
It also didn’t stop him from sobbing when Seungcheol handed him a necklace with a little ‘S’ pendant hanging off of it, pulling an identical chain out from his shirt that was adorned with its own little ‘J.’
(Jeonghan may have given him an extra present that night, as well.)