Work Text:
Feng Xin didn’t like secrets,
He was an honest man, he wore his heart on his sleeve from the very beginning. Everyone knew that, everyone knew that Nan Yang would only utter the truth.
His swearing habit was the only poison on his tongue, but Feng Xin refused to get rid of that.
Though a secret that Feng Xin didn’t like, was Mu Qing’s face.
Xuan Zhen was the god looking over poetry, every poem had passed through Mu Qing’s hands at least once. He was skilled with his words and sharp with his tongue. No one would dare try to best Mu Qing in something that he prevailed in.
He was just too great.
However, that wasn’t the reason people loved Xuan Zhen so much.
Xuan Zhen wore a veil.
And every god, mortal, and ghost eagerly tried to get a glimpse of the revered beauty that was Xuan Zhen. The heaven’s most guarded secret lay behind a thin, sheer fabric.
The veil would only let Mu Qing’s eyes into view—Mu Qing’s nose, lips, and jaw, were all hidden by the fabric.
And many have tried to see what Xuan Zhen hid, many wished to see what heaven truly looked like.
Rumors run fast too, what if Xuan Zhen was actually hideous?! What if Xuan Zhen was a fake this entire time?! What if Xuan Zhen wasn’t as perfect as he seemed?!
Feng Xin didn’t believe those rumors though, he would pass by Mu Qing often.
The Martial God Avenue and Civil God Avenue were not close, but Feng Xin would see Mu Qing pass by his palace at the same time every single day.
The sun would set, and Xuan Zhen would pass.
Feng Xin would sit by his window each time, patiently waiting for the beloved Xuan Zhen to bless him once more.
Xuan Zhen was so perfect, Feng Xin loved seeing Xuan Zhen.
Sure he was stuck up and bratty and horribly picky.
But he was so much more than that.
Feng Xin knew him better than anyone else, he knew Mu Qing far better than anyone else did.
And so he sat today, beside Mu Qing.
They were in some meeting in Ling Wen’s Palace, a yearly check-up on how everything was running. They were assigned tasks and each Martial God was to meet with a Civil God to discuss their matters.
Of course, prior to the meeting, he asked Ling Wen if he could be paired with Mu Qing. All the other Civil Gods were so prissy—Mu Qing was too, but that didn’t matter.
“How many missions have you completed in the last year?”
Feng Xin blinked.
He wasn’t paying attention.
“Huh?”
Mu Qing’s brows furrowed as he glared at Feng Xin, obsidian eyes glowed under the hazy candlelight accompanying them. He set the paper down and closed his eyes in exasperation, Feng Xin was sure that if they weren’t in the presence of several other gods, Mu Qing would have already beat his ass for sure!
“How many missions have you completed, Nan Yang?” Mu Qing spat through gritted teeth as he clenched his fist on the table.
Feng Xin’s eyes flicked over in amusement at the hand and looked back up at Mu Qing lazily.
“I don’t know, perhaps… two hundred?” Feng Xin pursed his lips as he met Mu Qing’s gaze. “I don’t keep track of those things.”
Mu Qing let out a grumbled sigh as he wrote a few things down with his feathered brush, dipping it in the ink every few moments and quickly writing down each character.
And while Mu Qing wrote, Feng Xin kept his eyes on Mu Qing. He didn’t like secrets.
He wondered when Mu Qing would confine him with his own.
Feng Xin took the time to admire Mu Qing—to admire the way his hair was long and shiny, a glint underneath the quiet light.
The way his lashes fluttered every time he blinked, thick and long, they were so perfect.
Mu Qing’s tall and slender figure towered over most other gods in heaven, he looked incredibly put together. With his flowing robes made up of hundreds of layers perfectly put together.
The colors of black, dark blue, and silver were only ever flawless. He wore long earrings that paired with his skin nicely, the colors always varied depending on his outfit. But most of the time it was either emerald or sapphire.
Then there was Mu Qing’s veil, the one thing Feng Xin set his mind on. What was it that he would find under?
There was something so thrilling about Mu Qing’s veil. The idea was that he could carefully take Mu Qing’s veil off, tuck a piece of hair behind his face, and caress the soft, pale skin.
Mu Qing would reject his touch quickly and Feng Xin was sure Mu Qing’s thin face would betray his feelings.
Did Mu Qing blush often? What did it look like? What did Mu Qing’s lips look like?
Feng Xin wanted to take off each layer one by one and unwrap Mu Qing like a gift, take apart every piece with his eyes first, and then drown every area of skin in his affection.
To just give Mu Qing one kiss–
Smack!
Feng Xin’s cheek was rapidly turning red at the sudden slap done by his own hands. He couldn’t be thinking like this! Mu Qing and him were only friends!
There was no need to ruin a good friendship because Feng Xin couldn’t keep his thoughts to himself. But every day Feng Xin felt like he was running on the edge over and over again, it was impossible to stay around Mu Qing without wishing he could have more.
He craved Mu Qing like a drug, he wished to get high off of Mu Qing.
He had a taste, now he had to get thousands of more.
“Feng Xin… what the fuck?” Mu Qing’s voice sounded strangled as he stared at Feng Xin with wide eyes, his brush was dropped on a small plate and he only looked confused.
Feng Xin obviously seemed to forget where the hell he was, because, at Mu Qing’s words, his head shot up in surprise as he tried to remember where he was.
This was why he couldn’t be near Mu Qing!
Feng Xin sat straight at Mu Qing’s voice and refused to make eye contact with Mu Qing. He refused to even do so in any way!
“What? I didn’t do anything!” Feng Xin said without looking at Mu Qing, he couldn’t look at Mu Qing.
And Feng Xin’s hands were fisted in his lap as he stared at the wall with apprehension, Feng Xin wished for many things. It was hard to just express one thing, why must he do so when it was clear things weren’t in his favor?
Things were better this way, it was easier if they were friends. He couldn’t ask Mu Qing for more, he was already so desperate.
He could feel Mu Qing’s gaze on him, searching—frantically looking through each movement and questioning.
“Let us retire for the night,” Mu Qing murmured, his voice was low as he spoke. “We shall continue again when the sun greets us once more,” he spoke curtly, he gathered a few scrolls in his hand and neatly wiped the brush of the dripping ink.
And Feng Xin’s eyes chased Mu Qing’s figure. Golden eyes begged to greet its pair once more.
“Wait!” Feng Xin scrambled as he stood, his seat screeching behind him as he hurriedly ran after Mu Qing. “Let me walk you to your palace! I am great company.” he puffed up his chest in confidence and made his way beside Mu Qing.
Mu Qing spared him a glance, his piercing gaze full of questioning as he crossed his arms, his long, flowy robes crossing as well. Layers of thin fabrics, some sheer while others thick, thousands at once.
And when Mu Qing didn’t respond, Feng Xin almost thought the answer was a no, so he stood in his spot without moving. But then Mu Qing stood at the door, he turned around and raised his brow.
Feng Xin looked around, Mu Qing was looking at him! And it could mean that he wanted Feng Xin to come!
“I’m coming!” Feng Xin hurriedly headed to Mu Qing and slowed his pace so he walked alongside Mu Qing.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes and turned around with a scoff.
But Feng Xin knew there had to be a smile playing on those lips, even if he had never seen it, he just knew it was true.
And Feng Xin walked with his hands behind his back, he repeatedly let his eyes flick over to Mu Qing’s, he was curious, he was eager.
The world watched alongside Feng Xin—Xuan Zhen walked, his striking gaze, his wistful face, his incredible wit—holding Feng Xin’s heart in his hands.
Everyone wished to be by Mu Qing’s side, the uproar of the heavens.
The darling he was.
His words were a sword of attitude, and every moment Feng Xin met his gaze. He was looking, watching, begging, fervently begging.
Just look at him this one time and see the strings connected to Feng Xin’s heart, behaving like an enemy yet desired like a lover.
“You seem far off today,” Mu Qing paused in his steps as he adjusted the scrolls in his hands. He looked up and into the night sky, greeting the great moon that lay ahead. “What is on your mind this time?” his voice was soft as he spoke, his gaze slid over to meet Feng Xin’s, and Feng Xin could never let go.
Feng Xin’s breath was punched out of his chest, he couldn’t possibly breathe, not now.
Mu Qing’s veil danced in the wind, and every few moments, Feng Xin saw a speck of a sharp jaw. A glimpse of desire barely even hidden.
“N– nothing, it isn’t anything to worry about.” Feng Xin froze in his spot as he choked on his words. Now wasn’t the time to be out of sorts, he was talking to Mu Qing, he must act normal.
Feng Xin took a step forward, a small smile on his lips.
His heart was naive, under the full moon night he bared the pain that lovers similarly held. He held it up against his chest, quietly, secretly, yearning only as a remembrance.
His heart was always naive, but it craved affection. And today, more than anything, it wished to hold warmth.
“Trust me,” Feng Xin let out a puff of breath. “Just this once, for me.”
All of a sudden, Mu Qing dropped all his scrolls on the floor. But Mu Qing didn’t look like he even acknowledged the scrolls as he stared at Feng Xin with his eyes glazed over.
And Feng Xin stared at Mu Qing in confusion, but Mu Qing only took a step back in surprise and attempted to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear but instead, the string to his veil got loose and ended up falling.
Instead of looking at Mu Qing’s face first, Feng Xin immediately hurried to pick up Mu Qing’s fallen veil. The fabric was so soft in his hand, the one thing stopping Feng Xin from meeting his end.
And when Feng Xin looked up it was to Mu Qing’s hair blowing in the wind, his lips were parted. They were thin and sheened with wetness as they were parted, looking at Feng Xin in surprise. Mu Qing’s nose was high and straight, mimicking the way he acted.
He had high cheekbones and the slightest amount of baby chub on his cheeks. There was an old scar drawn over Mu Qing’s entire left cheek and going down all the way to his chin, he was so perfect. Mu Qing was so perfect. He looked like everything.
Mu Qing looked like an angel.
“Oh fuck!” Feng Xin scrambled as he turned around quickly so he wouldn’t see Mu Qing anymore, he didn’t mean to see his face! He was going to give Mu Qing his veil back but he couldn’t because Feng Xin couldn’t even look at Mu Qing without wanting to fall in his eyes.
He kept his head down and stared at the scrolls scattered on the floor, the veil crumpled up and pressed up against his chest. He didn’t want Mu Qing to leave him like this.
But then there was a hand on his shoulder, forcibly turning him around making him face the one person he couldn’t bear to see. The six centimeters Feng Xin had on Mu Qing really made a difference right now because looking down at Mu Qing just in the slightest already felt hard to do.
Mu Qing’s hands were cold on his, they slowly undid Feng Xin’s fingers and took the veil from his hands. Yet the entire time, Mu Qing didn’t break eye contact with Feng Xin.
His eyes were still glazed over, still watching, questioning, begging.
Mu Qing’s lashes fluttered, the movement casting a soft shadow over his cheeks. His lips were pressed together and his cheeks held a soft flush. And Feng Xin desperately wanted to touch his skin, to know how it felt to caress heaven.
To know what it felt to love.
“I didn’t mean for you to see me like this, I know I am not pleasing to look at.” Mu Qing took the veil from Feng Xin’s hands, his face holding embarrassment as he turned away.
And Feng Xin didn't know what Mu Qing was referring to until Mu Qing’s hand went up to cover the large scar on his cheek.
Feng Xin’s mouth only ran dry, he could only drown in Mu Qing’s beauty, one scar did not change the fact that he looked so perfect.
And Feng Xin was a bold man, he raised his hand carefully and cupped Mu Qing’s face. Surprisingly, Mu Qing let him, his eyes closing and his body leaning into Feng Xin’s touch.
“You are perfect.” Feng Xin whispered, he needed Mu Qing to know what it was he saw.
Mu Qing was beyond what Feng Xin could imagine. Feng Xin did not want much, he sought someone who was an equal. So he held Mu Qing’s hand, and held his life along with it.
“My dreams couldn’t compare, I don’t know what it was you wished to hide. You are a god, you are everything. Xuan Zhen must give this one mercy, I am blinded by your light.” Feng Xin leaned in, his other hand hesitantly wrapping around Mu Qing’s waist.
“Xuan Zhen must forgive this one, I’ve only ever loved you dearly. I did not mean to offend Xuan Zhen.” Feng Xin’s lips grazed Mu Qing’s ears, each word driven into Mu Qing’s mind.
“Xuan Zhen is ever-giving, this one only begs for your relief.”
Feng Xin pressed a kiss on Mu Qing’s scar, letting each part caress his lips in an act of affection. He only needed to praise, he only needed to serve, he was made to love.
And Mu Qing leaned into his touch, his pale fingers wrapping around Feng Xin’s collar and attempting to pull Feng Xin even closer.
One kiss was given to Mu Qing, and Feng Xin’s life had been given back in multitudes.
“You must tell me your intention.” Mu Qing’s tear-filled eyes weakly opened and called Feng Xin’s name. “Why should I be willing to trust you?”
And Feng Xin was only ever his devotee.
“I wish to keep you for myself, I am only but a greedy man at heart. I believe my intentions were clear from the start, everyone knew from the beginning that the only thing I sought was Xuan Zhen’s heart. All I had to do was wait for you to give it to me.” Feng Xin pressed a kiss under Mu Qing’s eyes, his lips grazing thick lashes that tickled his skin.
And Mu Qing only tightened his hold on Feng Xin’s collar, his face incredibly red under the moonlight. Mu Qing was an angel, Mu Qing was everything.
And just like everyone else, he worried on the inside.
“I believe your beauty surpasses all, one scar doesn't affect the way my heart beats. One action does not define a person, to me, you are everything.”
Feng Xin let out a shuddering sigh as he kissed away Mu Qing’s tears, the heavens were only made up of people, not gods.
He moved the hand on Mu Qing’s waist to his lower back so he could hold Mu Qing closer, so he could pull on his body and let him fall into him.
Feng Xin had already been too spoiled, drown him in this love, bury him in this affection that he held.
“I think you are an angel,” Feng Xin’s lips hovered over Mu Qing’s lips, he could taste Mu Qing’s breath on his tongue. “I only ask you to see yourself the way I see you.”
And Mu Qing’s eyes became lidded the longer he watched, his eyes flicking from Feng Xin’s gaze to Feng Xin’s lips every moment. “What do you see me as?”
At Mu Qing’s words, a smirk rose on Feng Xin’s lips. “I have two answers, which one do you want to hear?”
Mu Qing pressed his lips together, his cheeks turning far more red as he thought. “Tell me both, I must know everything.”
Feng Xin let his thumb draw small circles over Mu Qing’s waist. “I see you as my friend, an equal. I couldn’t picture myself without you.”
And Mu Qing bit his lip, his teeth nervously prodding at the thin lips. “And the other?”
Feng Xin grinned as he whispered. “My lover."
And it seemed it must have been the perfect answer because the next thing Feng Xin knew, his lips were immediately captured into a kiss. It was nothing too fast, far more slower than anything.
It was clear that Mu Qing was unaware of what to do, but Feng Xin had time, he had so much time.
The hand cupping Mu Qing’s face only tilted it to an angle so Feng Xin could move better, the other hand on Mu Qing’s back sitting snugly as it abided by Feng Xin’s thoughts.
And Mu Qing tasted perfect, tasted like a dream, tasted like a desire.
Feng Xin only wanted more, he wanted to get high off him. He needed everything.
Mu Qing was only ever hesitant as he followed, Feng Xin was careful to guide, he wanted to give Mu Qing everything he deserved.
If Mu Qing wanted the world, Feng Xin’s only intent was to give it to him.
“Tell me you love me,” Feng Xin begged against Mu Qing’s lips. “I’ll only ever give you everything.”
And Mu Qing moved with his words, his nimble fingers sending shivers down Feng Xin’s spine with even the simplest touches.
“I love you,” Mu Qing gasped, his tongue caught with Feng Xin’s. Tears streamed down his face, glistening under the revered moon. “Tell me you reciprocate it.”
And Feng Xin only laughed against Mu Qing’s lips.
“How could I not? I love you more than myself, tell me what you desire, I wish to give it. Let me give it. Let me rid of your pain, I am only your worshipper. Let this one follow you, Xuan Zhen is ever-giving in heaven’s eyes.” he thumbed at the tears falling.
Darling of the heavens, Xuan Zhen was only ever there to give and give.
Now Feng Xin intended to give back in return a thousand times the amount.
“Enough,” Mu Qing pulled away from the kiss, swollen lips and tearful eyes, he looked hauntingly beautiful.
“You talk too much.”
Yet his actions betrayed his words,
There was a smile on Mu Qing’s lips, he still held Feng Xin’s robes, he still stood close to Feng Xin, and he still loved Feng Xin.
The heart did not lie.
“Of course,” Feng Xin moved his hand to hold Mu Qing’s, tangling the fingers together and pulling Mu Qing until he was flush up against his chest. “I love you.”
And he pressed their tangled hands up against his own chest, letting Mu Qing feel the constant thumping of his heart beating at a rapid speed. It called Mu Qing’s name, begged Mu Qing for everything.
Mu Qing let out a sigh, calm and quiet as he leaned into Feng Xin's body.
He placed his head on Feng Xin’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
His veil had long been dropped on the ground, the scrolls surrounding their tangled figures. Anyone could pass them, anyone could shout that the revered Xuan Zhen had finally shown his graceful face.
Yet no one walked upon them, the night was only quiet, lit by the amused moon hung in the sky.
It watched over the two with a careful smile on its face, the craters dug into its skin, still ever beautiful against everything else. The moon was the center of attention in these moments, despite imperfections, it still shone above everything else.
Nan Yang placed a kiss on Xuan Zhen’s head, it lingered, wanting to stay with Xuan Zhen for as long as he could before he parted.
And Xuan Zhen only obliged, giving everything he had to a lover so dear.