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It didn’t take long for Nayuta to be sick of having long hair.
Despite Kanata teasing him a bit for it, he really did want to try keeping it long for a little while, just to experiment with his appearance. After all, he hadn’t really had a chance to do anything like that in a hot minute. Being in a coma and all that.
Experimenting with clothes was usually fun. But hair? Not so much.
It tangled too much. It needed extra soap to wash in the shower, which always felt like a big waste. It kept getting in his face in the wind. And worst of all, when he looked in the bathroom mirror, he didn’t recognize the person in the reflection.
“I’m gonna ask Kanata to cut it for me today,” he said.
“Eh?” Shiki sat up on the couch, making the springs inside squeak a little. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” Nayuta swept some locks away from his eyes, only for them to fall right back in front of his view. “It’s annoying when it’s this long. It keeps getting in the way and makes me look less like…me.”
“Mn…” Shiki looked down a bit. “I think it looks nice on you. But…I do miss your old style too.”
Nayuta scoffed. “You think this looks nice? It makes me look like a ghost.”
“Or an angel.”
“Hah?”
“Ah…um…nothing.”
“Hm. Well, whatever.”
It was a typical moment between them on the rooftop. A record hummed on the player, a pile of snacks was waiting to be eaten, and the twilight sky glowed at the horizon. It was everything Nayuta had been certain he’d never have again, just as he thought he’d never see his brother and friend again. He was lucky to have survived, and to still get to be by their sides.
But he still felt some dissatisfaction. It was nice to be back with Kanata and Shiki, but they kept handling him like he was fragile. Like one wrong move from them would break him or make him disappear.
…But that’s kind of my fault, isn’t it? After what I put them through…
But even if he understood, that didn’t mean he liked it.
Nayuta stared at Shiki. He had clearly grown a lot in the last two years, but his timidness and uncertainty were still there. It probably always would be, just a little bit. But Nayuta could already see the person he could be beyond just that. He was like a little bud too scared to bloom into a flower…that comparison sounded kind of cringey to Nayuta, but he knew Shiki liked plants so he’d probably like it at least.
He needs to be more confident in himself. He’s really amazing, but he’s always too scared to show it.
Then, he was suddenly struck by a thought. It was one he didn’t expect, but it was still one that he liked. He just needed to confirm it.
“Shiki, c’mere.”
“Um, okay.” Shiki huddled over towards Nayuta’s side of the couch.
“Hmmmm…” Nayuta looked his friend over, letting his mind wander a bit. “Long hair would suit you more than me, Shiki.”
“Eh?! N-No way, Nayuta-kun…it’d look weird on me…”
“Hmm? Do you not trust me?”
“No, I do! It’s just…Well, I guess I just never imagined myself with long hair…I don’t know how it would look…”
“Well, you won’t know unless you try it. I got to try without even asking for it and now I know it sucks for me.”
“It’s just that my hair has always been this short…Ryu-kun says it looks like puppy dog ears when I get startled…”
“Sounds like a compliment, even if it’s a weird one. I can kind of see it, actually” Nayuta grinned, reaching to fluff up Shiki’s hair.
“W-Wah, Nayuta-kun!”
Shiki started laughing, and that made Nayuta laugh too. He gently pushed him down onto the couch, ruffling his hair a bit more before settling on top of him, his arms wrapping around him and holding him close.
Nayuta’s heart started beating fast as his eyes met Shiki’s. He didn’t really understand why, though. This wasn’t anything new between them; they always lay on each other, rested their heads on each other’s shoulders, and held hands when they walked together.
…Then again, there were times in the past when doing those normal things made his heartbeat fast too. And times when he felt really warm.
Shiki had been his first friend. And for as long as that friendship had lasted, there had been big feelings stirring in his heart. He just assumed they were the normal feelings that came with deeply caring about someone that wasn’t his brother. But now, in this spot, staring into those big blue eyes that seemed deeper than before, it started to feel like something more.
“Nayuta-kun…” Shiki’s lips seemed to move in slow motion as that whisper trickled out.
Nayuta wanted to kiss those lips.
…That was a new thought. And a weird one at that.
It felt a little less weird when Shiki started touching his face. One hand brushed against his cheek while the other swept his bangs out of his eyes.
The locks stayed in place this time.
“Maybe…it really is for the best that you cut it,” Shiki said. “S-So that way…I can see your face better.”
Nayuta smiled. “Yeah. You’ll see me better, and I’ll see you better too. I missed seeing you…I missed you, Shiki.”
“I missed you too, Nayuta-kun…So much.”
Nayuta suddenly froze as Shiki’s lips pressed against his forehead.
A beat passed before Shiki flew into a typical panic. “AH— ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t…I wasn’t thinking—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Nayuta inched up closer to Shiki’s face. “Just let me do something too.”
“Oh…Okay…”
Nayuta pressed a kiss to Shiki’s cheek. It felt so soft and warm…He kissed him again, this time closer to the corner of his mouth.
And as he moved in to kiss him even closer, Shiki moved and met him in the middle.
Their lips shallowly pecked against each other; Nayuta could even faintly taste vanilla on Shiki’s.
It was fragile and brief, like a passing flower petal in the wind. But it felt like it meant so much more than that.
Yet it also…didn’t.
They both laughed again as Nayuta brought his forehead against Shiki’s, lightly pressing them together. Shiki’s hands found their way into Nayuta’s hair, playing with the long strands that wouldn’t be there for much longer. Nayuta sighed contently, closing his eyes and getting comfortable as if Shiki was his pillow.
It was different and new. But it was also just so natural, like they were meant to do that. And once they grew beyond this point, maybe they would realize even more things they were meant to do together.
They would just have to wait and see. Not that Nayuta minded waiting since he planned on sticking around this time.
He wouldn’t be leaving Shiki again.
It didn’t take long for Nayuta to notice something was up with Shiki.
It started a couple months or so after he’d come back, and everyone was now getting swept up in preparing for the Road to Legend tournament. It was a busy time for working on music, but Nayuta went out of his way to make some extra time to spend with Shiki on the rooftop.
It didn’t seem that Shiki was making the same effort, though.
He hadn’t come around to the rooftop at all during the last few days. He wasn’t at Bar 4/7 either; the owner only said that Shiki was “busy with some personal business.”
Weird. Now that they were more than just friends, Nayuta thought he’d be seeing Shiki more often than ever.
He had half a mind to confront Shiki on his sudden flakiness the next time he saw him.
As he sat on the couch alone on the rooftop, the wind gently tousling his shorter hair, he wondered if this was how Shiki felt when he had left him alone for those two years. Different feelings were building up, but one bigger feeling trumped them all.
Nayuta wanted to be frustrated with Shiki, or even get mad. But all those feelings took a backseat to just missing him, and longing to touch and kiss him.
I just want him here with me again…
The next day, Shiki finally did show up, arriving even before Nayuta. Just as the sky changed from a citrus sunset into a milky vanilla twilight, with the setting sun just barely peeking out from the swirling clouds.
Shiki’s hair had grown to just barely chin-length. He was wearing a dark blue cardigan with a sunflower embroidered on the left side of the chest, along with a matching skirt. And there were some brightly colored hair clips on his bangs.
“That’s a new look for you,” Nayuta said without thinking much about it.
Shiki looked more at the ground than at him. “I picked these clothes out the other day while shopping with Reo-chan. And Ryu-kun picked out these accessories…They don’t really match me or this outfit, but they were still cute and he wanted me to wear them…”
“Hm…” Nayuta smiled as he looked over the outfit more. “It’s cute.”
“Really?” Shiki’s eyes properly met his. “Does it make me seem…like a girl?”
Nayuta shrugged. “I mean, clothes don’t equal gender, right? Like, it’s not that weird for guys to wear skirts, even if a lot of people act like it is.”
“Y-Yeah, I know, but…” Shiki shifted awkwardly in place. “I…I want to wear clothes like these more often from now on, because…they make me feel more like a girl. And when I feel like a girl, I feel a little more…okay with being me.”
“…Oh.” Nayuta took a step closer. “Is that why you haven’t been coming here? You didn’t need to hide from me, y’know.”
“I—I’m sorry…I was just trying to figure out how to tell you…”
“Doesn’t matter how.” Nayuta placed his hands on Shiki’s cheeks, caressing them with his thumbs. “All that matters to me is that you’re still you. Guy or girl or whatever, all I want is Shiki. Or whoever you want to be.”
“Nayuta-kun…!” Shiki’s eyes sparkled, brimming with tiny happy tears, as she broke into a big smile.
She was so dazzling right then that he couldn’t help but kiss her.
Her lips were softer now, and there was a sweet scent clinging to her. Her body relaxed as she wrapped her arms around him, melting into the kiss like she never had before. And Nayuta could feel himself melt a bit too.
Some changes were coming, but he didn’t mind. It was even a little exciting.
He couldn’t wait to see the kind of girl Shiki would grow into.
It didn’t take long for Nayuta to get used to Shiki’s longer hair.
It was just past shoulder-length now, getting curlier and fluffier the more it grew. It was so cute. Just like how everything about Shiki was cute.
She had always been cute, Nayuta thought. He just didn’t realize what that meant for the longest time. Now he knew it well. He knew how lucky he was to have such a cute girlfriend.
She was still shy and hesitated a lot. She was still Shiki through and through, after all. But she smiled wider. She spoke a little louder. Her eyes were brighter.
She was growing into everything Nayuta knew she could be. All it took was one little change for her bud to blossom.
He popped open his can of warm Royal Milk Tea before turning to watch her do the same. He smiled just from the sight of her, from the wind tousling her hair to how her cheeks puffed up a bit as she took a sip of her drink. She looked extra lovely today in her red sweater and her overalls dress with a little Hello Kitty pin on the right strap.
Nayuta happened to be wearing a skirt too, just because it was comfy and easy to slip on. It was just a whatever thing to him when he wore one. But on Shiki, it was everything.
She turned to look at him, her cheeks turning pink. “What are you looking at?” she asked.
“You,” he replied. “You’re cute.”
“You’re cute!” Shiki smiled widely as she kissed Nayuta’s cheek.
“Hmmm, if you really think I am. But then we’ll just have to be cute together~”
“Ehehe, okay~” She huddled up closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.
Nayuta put an arm around her to hold her even closer. The scent of her vanilla perfume made the milk tea taste sweeter as it went down. And being with the girl he loved under the familiar twilight sky made it even better.