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“I’m not doing it.” The brunette shook her head, keeping her back to her best friend as she continued to prepare her lunch.
“Oh, come on.” Clarke sighed, slapping her hands on her thighs. Raven kept her face neutral, turned to the blonde, narrowed her eyes. Clarke looked at her with a hopeful face, shining eyes.
Raven crossed her arms over her chest, shrugged. “No.”
Her friend’s face fell slightly. “Why not?”
“I don’t want to.” Raven replied simply. She was hoping that would be the end of the argument, but knowing Clarke, she could make it last forever until she got her way.
There was silence. Raven thought she had won. But then, “Do it for the children.” Oh, so she was going to pull that card? Well, Raven wouldn’t give in.
The dark skinned girl shrugged, bit into her sandwich. “I don’t want to do it for the children.”
Clarke’s mouth hung as she let out a little offended gasp. “They’re sick, Raven.”
“All the more reason not to go.” She smiled cheekily.
“Some of them are dying.” The pale woman added, throwing her arms in the air.
Raven scrunched up her face. “Total mood killer.”
“Raven,” Clarke’s voice had gone hard. She was using her authoritative tone, Raven noted, which meant she was borderline pissed.
“Clarke,” Raven mimicked in amusement, her eyebrows raised. The blonde glared at her best friend, her lips in a thin line. Any minute Raven was expecting steam to come out of her ears and her head to pop off.
Clarke pressed her palms against her forehead in agitation. She massaged her temples slowly, let out a long mix of a sigh and a groan from her throat, then looked Raven in the eyes and said, slowly, begging, “For the children.”
Raven nodded a little, pointed a finger at her, her mouth full of sandwich still. “You mean for you, so you don’t look like a flake in front of your boss.” She accused.
Clarke’s face tightened into a frightening smile, though Raven had seen that smile millions of times before in the past nineteen years, and she was not fazed. “And for the children.”
Raven considered this. Maybe she would have gone if Clarke had talked to her about it first, but as it was, she just opted to sign her (and the rest of their friends) up to moderate the Christmas party at the DC Children’s Hospital without asking them. Sure, Raven wasn’t doing anything on Christmas, but that didn’t mean she wanted to spend the whole day with some terminal children. The mere thought of it just made her sad. And she hated hospitals. And she disliked children with a burning passion. Clarke knew this, and yet she was still begging her to show up.
“Raven, please,” Raven’s eyes flickered back to Clarke. All the anger had drained from her face, now she just looked pathetic and her voice was pleading. Raven bit the inside of her mouth, looked away from Clarke and those huge blue puppy eyes.
After a few moments of turning the options in her head, Raven let out a deep dramatic moan and grumbled, “Fine, for the children.”
At that, Clarke perked up immediately. A bright (and triumphant) smile lit up her face. “Great,” She went to the living room, grabbed the white, fairly large box she had brought home, and shoved it in Raven’s arms. “Here”
The other girl raised an eyebrow, set her plate down so she wouldn’t drop it. “What’s this?” Raven eyed the box, her suspicion rising.
Clarke waved as she started down the hallway towards her room. “The costume you have to wear.”
Raven’s mouth dropped and she stared dumbfounded at Clarke’s back. “You didn’t say anything about a costume.”
“I didn’t?” The blonde asked innocently, turning her head back to Raven. “Must have slipped my mind.” She shrugged simply.
Raven gripped the box in her hands, nearly puncturing holes in it. “I’m going to kill you.” She growled through a tight jaw.
“The children.” Clarke reminded, going into her room and shutting the door, ending the conversation abruptly. Raven still stared at the place she had been standing, her jaw slack. Clarke knew she would give in. Hell, even Raven knew that she would eventually give in. She hated how predictable she was.
She tore the lid off the box and let it fall to the floor as she held up the fabric that was inside it. Oh hell no. Raven thought, staring in disgust at the hideous full body Frosty the Snowman costume. “I’m not wearing this shit.” Raven shouted.
“The children.” Clarke repeated in a sweet, sing-song voice. Raven could have sworn she heard a laugh, too. She was going to kill her.
Raven shut her eyes, exhaled through her nose. “Goddamn it.”
Three days and more arguing later, Raven was hunched over one of the many round tables in the DC Children’s Hospital cafeteria, setting up the table cloth and many cute decorations that also went on it. She would never admit it out loud, but she was enjoying herself. At least for the time being. Everyone setting up was mostly quiet, whispering and softly talking to each other about nothing. Doctors, nurses, volunteers, all getting along. And she was thankful that she wasn’t the only one in costume; the doctors and nurses were in simple Santa hats and Reindeer headbands. The volunteers were all decked out in full body costumes. Some were worse than Raven’s Frosty outfit, which she was silently thankful for.
“Raven,” Octavia called from across the room. Raven looked in the direction of her pretty friend, bit back a laugh. The younger girl was wearing a green and red elf costume, complete with shoes that curved upwards at the toes and had bells on them, pointed ears, and a striped floppy hat. But it was Octavia, and Octavia could make anything look gorgeous, including the ridiculous elf costume.
Raven nodded her head up. “Yeah?”
Octavia held up some plastic snowflakes. “Help me hang these?” Raven nodded again, finished up the table, and then headed over to where Octavia was. The other girl grinned as Raven approached, wiggled her eyebrows. “You look so hot.”
Raven put her hands on her hips, struck a pose. “Sexy, I know.” They both laughed. “Alright, let’s get these up.” Raven grabbed the medium sized step ladder and held it in place so Octavia could climb up and attach the sparkling snowflakes to the ceiling.
Four hours later the cafeteria was in complete Christmas décor and Raven was exhausted. It was only two in the afternoon, the party started at three, and ended at midnight. If she was tired now, she was going to be dead by the night’s end. But despite her moaning and groaning the days leading up to the event, she was enjoying herself. Mostly because she wasn’t surrounded by children. She was certain that when the party actually got started that she would be moaning and groaning once more.
Currently, she, Octavia, Lincoln, and Monty were sitting at one of the tables eating their lunch, careful to not mess up the decorations that covered its surface. Lincoln and Monty were wolfing down their food, knowing that they could be called at any moment to return to their jobs. Lincoln was the Head of Trauma and Monty was an ER nurse. Both were semi dressed for Christmas; Lincoln in a lopsided green Santa hat and Monty wearing a pair of antlers that had a large red bow on the left antler.
“Well, look at who it is, Frosty the Snow Bitch.” Raven turned to see Murphy approaching them with a tray of food in his hands. She choked on her food slightly, a laugh caught in her throat. If she thought her costume was bad, it had nothing on Murphy’s; he was in a full body Rudolph outfit, complete with large antlers on top of his head and a blinking red nose placed over his real one.
She moved her chair over as he brought another one up and placed it between her and Monty, who did little to hide his laugh. Octavia was snickering behind her hand and Lincoln was smirking. Murphy glared at all of them as he yanked off the nose and began eating.
Raven clapped him on the back, and said with a laugh, “If it isn’t the Red Nosed Ass.”
He made a face at her. “Rudolph is a Reindeer, not a donkey.”
She nodded considerably. “Yes, but you’re an ass.”
He shrugged. “And you’re a bitch.”
“At least I own it.” She smiled proudly, polished her nails on her shoulder and puckered her lips.
The brunette man smirked through a bite of his food. “I own my ass.”
“Yes, you do.” She agreed easily. At this, everyone at the table grew quiet, stared at her questionably. Raven ignored them, finished the rest of her pizza, hoped her face wasn’t as red as it felt.
Finally, Murphy said, slowly, his tone laced with confusion, “I can’t tell if that was a compliment or not.”
“Take it as one.” She said quickly.
He nodded once. “I think I will.”
Silence fell over the table as they all finished their food. Raven bit her tongue to keep from saying anything else stupid. She stole quick glances at Murphy from the corner of her eye. She noticed that his cheeks had a pink tinge to them. She cursed herself. Looking up she saw Octavia staring at her, her eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline. She nodded to Raven and then to Murphy. Raven shook her head. Octavia rolled her eyes and smirked. Lincoln and Monty looked from each other to the two girls and then to Rudolph, who made it a point to keep his head down and his eyes on his food. Then the two men looked back at Raven and grinned. The dark skinned girl could have killed them all. She was in a place with a lot of potential weapons, so she might very well would before the day was over.
“Ma’am, can I get another cupcake?” A little boy in a wheelchair asked. Raven looked down at him, tried to not feel sorry for the assisted breathing machine strapped to the back of the chair, his gaunt frame, the dark circles around his eyes. She gave a tight smile and a curt nod, handed him a small paper plate with a festively decorated cupcake on it, then turned away. This was why she didn’t want to be there. The sick children, their hopeful faces; even if they were terminal they were still hopeful and that shredded her heart.
In the past three hours she’d seen all their little faces, all their willful smiles and joyous laughter. Their faces lit up when they had initially entered the cafeteria, and most of them had not gone away. It pained her to think that for some this would be their last Christmas. She wondered how Clarke, Lincoln, Monty, and Lexa did it. How they could be surrounded by so much death, so many sick children, when the hope factor was slim to none. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t watch children rot away in their beds, couldn’t tell their parents that ‘We did the best we could, I’m sorry.’ Sorry you’ll never get to see your baby grow up and become the person they were born to be. Sorry we’re doctors and we couldn’t fix your sick kid. Yeah, Raven wouldn’t be able to do that. She could barely handle the party.
Twenty minutes later she plopped down at one of the vacant back tables. Sweat trickled down her face. Before, when the room was pretty much empty, the costume was no problem, but now since the room was over flooded with people the costume had turned into an inferno.
“Here,” Murphy said from her left. She turned and saw him hold out a cup of punch to her. She graciously took it.
“Is is spiked?” She asked hopefully.
He shook his head and sat down beside her. “Sorry, I’m not carrying.”
“You disappoint me, John.” She sighed, but downed the refreshing liquid anyway.
“Like I haven’t heard that before.” He muttered, sipping from his own cup. She watched him, noticed the light flush to his cheeks, probably from the heat of the room. He was relaxed, though he looked as exhausted as she was. But he almost looked…beautiful if Raven had to pick the word for it. Sure, his hair was a mess, he had a sheen of sweat on his face, and he looked absolutely ridiculous in that Rudolph outfit, but still…
His dark eyes flicked up to her and she cleared her through, quickly looked away. “Wanna dance?” He asked, a little hopeful, though he tried to hide it with nonchalance.
She looked back over at him, could have sworn he was biting his inner cheek in anticipation. Her stomach lurched. She shook her head, stood up. “No, I, um, I’m going to go find the bathroom.” And quickly began walking away before he could say anything else.
She roamed the silent hallways of the hospital, only her thoughts to keep her company. No matter what she tried to think about her mind kept going back to Murphy. Stupid, annoying, nice, pretty, Red Nosed Ass.
Oh, god, what the hell was wrong with her?
She needed to sit down, needed to actually think about this. She opened the door to the first room she saw and stepped in. She leaned against the door, took a deep breath, tried to make the mess in her head more clear. She liked Murphy? Did she really? For how long? They’d known each other for most of their lives, and sure there was always something there, but she figured it was just…friendship. But this. This did not feel like friendship.
This felt like—
“Who are you?” The brunette jumped at the sound of drowsy voice behind her. Her heart fluttered wildly as she spun around, her eyes wide like she’d just gotten caught with her hand down the cookie jar. The voice belonged to a girl, somewhere in her early teens, and oh god Raven wanted to cry when she looked at her. She was covered from head to toe in bandages, the left side of her face was red and raw and crinkled. Burned. There was gauze over her left eye, too, and most of her wheat blonde hair was left in distorted patches.
“I’m Raven.” She answered, steadying her voice from cracking. Her eyes had swelled with tears, but she couldn’t let them fall. She refused it.
“What are you doing here?” The girl asked, sitting up a little more in the bed. Raven wondered how much it hurt. The child’s face gave nothing away.
The woman put her hands behind her back, rocked on her feet. “I was, uh, just looking for a quiet place to think.”
“About what?”
“Nothing.”
“Uh-huh.” The girl muttered skeptically.
Raven turned back to the door, went to open it. “I’ll just leave you alone.”
Just as she was about to twist the handle and leave, the girl spoke up quickly, “No, don’t. Stay, please?”
Raven bit her lip, shook her head slightly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
From the florescent lights in the room, Raven could see every detail of the girl’s burned face, so she made it a point to keep her eyes adverted. “Please? Everyone’s at that damned Christmas party and I’m stuck here. I just want…to talk to someone for a minute. Who isn’t a doctor or counselor.”
Raven took a deep breath, nodded. “Yeah, okay, just for a few minutes.” She sat down in the small chair beside the girl’s bed. Still, she wouldn’t look at her face.
“You can look at it.” The girl said softly.
Raven’s eyes jumped to the un-burnt side of her face. “What?”
“My burned face. I know you’re trying to not look at it, but you can. Everyone else around here tries to avoid it, but it’s there and it’s never going away, so I’m gonna have to get used to people staring at it.” She shrugged, sat up more in her bed. The girl winced. How much more of her body was damaged? “Eighty-five percent.” She answered, as if she could read the woman’s mind. This time, Raven didn’t hide her shock. The girl nodded solemnly.
“What…happened?” Raven asked slowly, afraid she was overstepping.
“Car fire. Three days ago. It was…my birthday and we…my family and I, we were going out to dinner and there was black ice on the road. The car hit it, my mom lost control, we crashed into a gasoline truck. Boom.” The girl made an explosion with her hands.
Raven’s heart hurt. “Are they okay? Your family?”
The girl looked at her, a small smile formed on her face. “I’m sure they’re okay now, wherever they are.” Raven’s face scrunched up in confusion. “They’re dead.” She elaborated bluntly. Raven’s mouth fell open in a silent ‘o’. She wasn’t sure what to say. Sorry your family is dead? Sorry your birthday was shit? Sorry you have to spend Christmas alone?
The brunette looked away, cleared the lump in her throat, swallowed back the tears. “So, uh, is anyone coming to get you? Do you have anywhere you can stay after this?”
The girl nodded stiffly. “My mother is coming from Hong Kong. She should be here before New Year’s.”
Raven furrowed her eyebrows. “Your mother?”
“I have—had two mom’s. Anya was expanding her tech. company in Hong Kong while Indra, Monroe, my sister, and Sterling, my brother, and I stayed here because they wanted us to finish school in America.”
Raven nodded in understanding. “Oh,”
“But now I guess staying in America isn’t an option anymore. But it’s okay…I’ve always wanted to see Hong Kong.” The way she talked, this girl with the broken body and the and the torn family, so sure of herself and so empty of self pity, made Raven want to smile and weep at the same time. She wanted to tell her that she was so strong, but she figured she’s probably heard that a million times already. She wanted to tell her that she was sorry, but the girl’s probably gotten that speech every time someone came into the room. So she just smiled faintly, nodded her head, and sat with her for a little while longer, listening to her talk about her parents and siblings.
It was almost an hour later when Raven realized that she completely ditched Murphy at the party. She bolted up from the chair, her eyes wide. “Oh, shit!” She nearly screamed.
“What?”
“I—the party. I told someone I would be right back and I completely left him there.” Raven rushed to the door, then turned back to the girl. “I—what’s your name?” All this time talking to her and she didn’t even know her name.
“Harper,” She answered with a laugh.
“Okay, Harper, it was nice…meeting you.” She opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.
“Nice meeting you—wait!” She called just as Raven was about to close the door.
She stuck her head back in. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Raven gave her a confused look. “For what?”
“For treating me like a normal person.”
Damn, there went her heart again. She smiled softly. “You’re welcome.” Then she shut the door and ran down the hallway back to the party, an idea already forming in the back of her mind. She hoped Murphy wouldn’t be too pissed that she forgot about him.
“Where the hell did you go?” The man demanded, not looking at her from behind the food table. He smiled at a little girl and handed her a cupcake, then shifted his eyes to Raven and gave her a sour look.
She rolled her eyes. “I was talking to this girl.”
Hid dark gaze narrowed. “You stood me up for a girl?” He tried to sound offended and failed miserably.
Raven rolled her eyes again, more heavily this time. “She’s a patient here. In the burn ward. She lost her family in a car accident a few days ago.”
All the humor in his face fell. “That’s awful.”
Raven nodded. “She’s really messed up, Murphy.”
Murphy looked around the room, nodded in general towards all the patients. “So are the rest of these kids.”
“The rest of these kids aren’t confined to a bed.” She grabbed a cupcake and then turned to leave again. “Tell Clarke and the others to grab food and presents and whatever decorations they can and then to meet me in the burn ward.”
“What are you planning?” He asked wearily.
“We’re going to give this kid a Christmas.” She replied curtly.
He smiled, punched her lightly in the shoulder. “Aw, look at you, getting all Mrs. Claus.”
“Just get the stuff.” She repeated, grabbed another cupcake as she shoved the first one in her mouth.
He nodded, gave her a salute. “You got it, Captain.” She grunted, hid a smile, and then headed back towards Harper’s room.
Murphy came through with gathering everyone he could. He, Clarke, Lincoln, Monty, Octavia, Jasper, Lexa, and Bellamy all met Raven outside Harper’s room, their arms loaded with food, balloons, and presents. Before they went in, Raven said, “Don’t…mention anything about her face, okay?” They all nodded, then Raven opened the door and slipped in first. Harper was awake in the bed, watching Home Alone. She perked up when she noticed who had walked in.
“Oh, hey!” She said cheerily.
Raven smiled warmly, her hand on the doorknob. “Hey, I brought you something.”
The girl’s face lit up even more. “What?” She asked eagerly.
“Christmas.” Raven opened the door to reveal the surprise and her friends walked into the room, smiles and cheer on their faces. Harper looked in awe at them, turned to mouth ‘thank you’ at Raven, admiration and gratitude all over her face. Raven mouthed back a ‘you’re welcome’ and then they set up the room with decorations.
After everything was set up and the mini party got going, Murphy came and stood beside Raven in the corner of the room. The others were spread out, talking to each other and to Harper, making her laugh, helping her open some of the presents that were donated for the party. “You know, you’re not such a bitch after all.” He said, gingerly sipping his drink.
Raven eyed him, smirked a little. “Yeah, well, you’re still an asshole.”
He clicked his tongue, scoffed. “I take it back.”
She grinned widely, poked him in the side. “No, you don’t.”
He didn’t have a chance to reply before Harper called to them from her bed. “Are you two dating?” Everyone grew quiet in the room, looking at the three of them. Raven nearly choked on her saliva. Murphy was silent. Harper looked at the both of them expectedly, waiting for an answer. Raven rubbed the back of her head and walked over to the girl. Murphy followed.
“No, no, we’re not.” Raven answered.
“Oh…” If Raven didn’t know any better she would have said the kid looked disappointed. Harper shrugged a little, then said, “Well you bicker like a couple.”
“We do not.” Raven argued. Murphy stayed silent beside her, looking everywhere but at the two ladies.
Harper sighed, grabbed Raven’s hand, gave it a sympathetic pat. “Listen, Raven, I may be young but I know two people who like each other when I see them.”
Raven gave her a tight smile. “You’re fourteen.”
“I’ve been around.”
“Oh my god.” She laughed.
Harper gave her an amused look. “All I’m saying, is that when you fight like a couple and look like a couple, you should probably be a couple.”
Raven shook her head, and said, in exasperation, “Kid, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The sexual tension is practically seeping off of you both.” Harper quipped. Raven froze, stunned at what the child had just said. Maybe her heart even stopped a little. Murphy choked on his drink, causing some to spill down his chin.
Raven snatched her hand from Harper’s grip and turned away. “Okay, that’s enough out of you.” She looked towards her friends, saw that Monty wasn’t doing anything except staring at his phone, more than likely texting his boyfriend, Miller (the lucky bastard had to work tonight). “Monty, entertain the child.” Then she headed towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Murphy called after her, still coughing a little.
“It’s too hot in here; I need some air.” She answered without turning to look at him, then exited the room.
She roamed the nearly empty hallways of the hospital until she found herself on the roof. She sat down near the ledge, unzipped the Frosty costume to let the cool night air chill her flushed body. She knew wearing a tank top under it would be a good idea, despite how it added to the heat when she was inside. She looked down at the busy street and thought. Thought about Murphy, thought about herself, thought about them together and what that would mean and even if it was possible.
Well, of course it was possible. Anything was possible. But were they possible? They fought, usually, and they knew how to tear each other down without even trying, but they also knew how to build each other up with little effort. They knew each other, probably the best out of the group, and she wondered what all of that meant. If it meant anything at all.
She liked Murphy, of course she did. Even though he pissed her off sometimes and even though he was an ass, she still liked him. She wouldn’t have stayed friends with him for all these years if she didn’t. But did she like him? She could have answered that question easily a few days ago, but now? Now…her head was a mess.
Her jumbled thinking was interrupted when she heard the door to the roof open and slam shut. She didn’t even have to look to know who it was. “How’d you know I’d be up here?” She asked as Murphy plopped down beside her and proceeded to unzip his costume as well, letting the fresh night air coat his overheated body.
He shrugged aloofly. “You used to go to the roof of the high school and our college dorm whenever you needed air.”
She turned to him, a little shocked. “You remembered that?”
“Well, yeah,” He said like it was the most normal thing ever. And maybe it was to him, remembering the little things. Still, she couldn’t help the big smile that had consumed her face.
“What else do you remember about me in school?”
He waited a few moments, gathered his thoughts, then replied, nostalgia deep in his tone, “In high school I remember we were always partners in whichever classes we had. I remember the teachers would always have to separate us because we fought and threw things at each other all the time.” She laughed slightly. They gave their teachers so much hell if they had classes together. Murphy smirked at something, then continued, “I remember you kicked that guy’s ass who stole my clothes after gym. I remember you came to my house after you caught Finn cheating on you and we stayed up for two days, playing video games and eating all the junk food in the house.” She remembered that too; Murphy wanted to kick his ass, but she had it covered. He stopped, then his voice grew quieter. “I remember we got along more often than not. I remember we used to always bitch about how horrible our mom’s were to everyone and they never really got it, but we got it. I remember we went to prom together, and I wore the dress and you wore a suit.”
She burst out laughing at the last part, slapped her hand on her thigh. “A hot pink suit and an electric green mini dress with stilettos.” That memory would be seared into her brain for the rest of her life.
“We lost a bet.” Murphy grumbled.
“But it was still fun.” She added.
He nodded. “One of the best nights of my life, honestly.” He admitted without shame. And it was, it really was, despite him getting horrible blisters all over his feet due to the shoes. He developed a new respect for Octavia after that, because those were the only types of shoes that she wore, and she could fucking run in them. Badass.
“Same here.” Raven agreed.
Murphy waited a few seconds before he spoke again, his voice softer, lower, “And I remember when you busted your knee freshman year of college. You thought it was the end of the world because you couldn’t run track anymore.”
Raven looked up towards the sky, absentmindedly ran her fingers over the brace that covered her left leg. “Track meant a lot to me.” She sighed. It had been a stupid accident that hindered her from ever running track—or running in general, again; she was doing exercises, running up and down the football bleachers as fast as she could. It had been raining earlier, so they were slippery, and it wasn’t her best idea to use them for a workout. But she did anyway, and she slipped and fell and the blow shattered her knee bone. She wasn’t able to walk for two months because of the damage.
“I know it did.”
“And that goddamn brace hurt.” She added.
“But you made it work.”
“Eventually. After all the bitching.”
“I never minded the bitching.” Murphy admitted wholeheartedly. And it was true; out of everyone in their group, he never bitched that all she did was bitch. He just listened. Calmly, coolly, with a neutral expression. So even if it did aggravate him, he never let it show or said anything about it. She never quite understood why. “There are worse things to listen to than you bitch.” He said as if answering the question she didn’t ask.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She retorted with a quirk of her lips.
He nodded. “You should.”
She was about to say something, but then a memory popped in her head and she let out a fit of giggles as she slapped his arm. “You remember Halloween junior year of college? We went as Silent Hill nurses?”
Murphy’s eyes grew wide and he rubbed his hands over his face. “Man, that head wrap-mask-thing nearly suffocated me.”
“You looked hot in that short dress though.” She snickered and gave him a wink.
“Of course I did. My legs are perfect.” He scoffed, waving his hand. Their laughter filled the silent night air, floated from their lungs and out of their mouths in unison. Besides prom, that was probably Raven’s second best night of her life. After their laughter died down Murphy stated, “I also remember getting too drunk to function and you had to drive me home.”
“And then making out in your living room.” She blurted it out before she had time to think. She hadn’t meant to. That memory was supposed to stay locked away, something they didn’t bring up, not even when it was the two of them. Because it was an accident. A drunken mistake. Something that would never happen again.
A brief thought entered Raven’s mind that maybe she did want it to happen again, but that thought was pushed far away when Murphy said lowly, “We vowed never to speak of that again.” Was it regret in his voice? She couldn’t tell. Raven shrugged lamely and looked away from him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him scoot closer to her. She held her breath. “We’re thirty-five.” He announced.
“I’m thirty-six.” She clarified.
Murphy put a lazy arm around her shoulders, leaned in close to her. “Okay, so you’re old and rundown and I’m still young and lively.” His voice was teasing, but she still gave him a side glare.
“Did you have a point?” She muttered, removing his arm from her space.
“We’re almost forty.” He deadpanned.
“Thank you for making me feel old.” She retorted.
“We’re still single. We basically act like we’re dating already.” He was right beside her now, their legs touching, their shoulders bumping against each other’s as they breathed in and out.
She looked at him, her expression soft. “Murphy,” She whispered.
He leaned his face in closer, put his arm around her waist. “So why don’t we just do the real thing?” He asked, his eyes serious, his voice intense and low and rough and oh god what was going on?
Raven looked at him then, really looked at him. Though it was black outside, she could tell the sincerity gleaming in his eyes, the hopefulness in his voice. She swallowed thickly, wondered, “You don’t think we’d be at each other’s throats all the time?”
He grinned. “Of course we would. We’re both assholes.” He stated with pride. She pursed her lips, scowled, but knew it was true. “But we’d be the best asshole couple. Ever.” She raised an eyebrow, felt a smirk forming on her lips. They were extremely close to each other now, their noses were nearly touching. Raven leaned in a little more, put her hand on his thigh.
“The best asshole couple ever, huh?” She questioned. She would admit, she liked the ring it had to it. Murphy smiled, gripped her waist tighter, leaned in a few more inches. Her eyes studied his, then flicked to his lips, and that’s when they were kissing. It was hot and sloppy and it made her head buzz and she loved every second of it. Murphy wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulled her flush against his chest. Her hands moved from his thighs to his arms and then up to his hair, where her fingers curled around his brown locks and tugged a little. He moaned into her mouth and she giggled, tugged on his hair some more.
Sitting there, kissing him, it felt right.
This felt like maybe she loved him, after all these years. And maybe he loved her, too.