Work Text:
This was going to be the best Sunday of Phil’s life-scratch that.
This was going to be the best day of his life,
period.
As he lay in his bed, still under his covers, a wide grin spread across his face. Today wasn't just any Sunday. It was his birthday .
When his Mum had proposed that they go down to Manchester with Martyn to tour the university down there, and that Phil would be able to take a friend to explore the city for a day by himself, he was pretty shocked. He couldn’t believe his mum had suggested this-his Mum who still tried to get him to hold her hand as he crossed the street, his Mum who fretted over him every time he sneezed, who constantly was badgering him to study for tests weeks in advance.
She had seemed a bit nervous, admittedly. And her apprehension certainly hadn't eased when he insisted that Dan be the “friend” to come along.
“Phil, isn't this the boy that got you into that fight back in the fall?” She had sighed dramatically, scrubbing the dish in her hand a bit harder. “I don't think he's a good influence on you.”
“He didn't get me into the fight, Mum. He was the one who tried to pull me out of it.” Phil's face flushed a little bit at the memory, drying the cup in his hands slowly.
She raised an eyebrow over at him. “But he did convince you to dye your hair, yes?”
Phil lightly swatted a soapy hand away. “Again, my idea. And it looks ace, don't you think?”
“It makes you look like a goth , Phil. You're a bright young man. I don't want your academics to suffer because you decided you want to act all tough now.”
Phil took a moment to look at himself in a spoon’s reflection. Goth…hmm…
He shook his head quickly, remembering his goal. “Mum, I don't look goth. This is what’s cool these days. But I did really, really well on my exams-”
“You could always do better, you know that,” she interrupted, but Phil kept pushing.
“And I'm growing up. I think that means I get to choose my own friends, right?” Phil pushed gently, biting his lip.
It was weird how even though he'd shot up in height above his Mum almost a year ago now, she still could shoot him a look that made him feel like the same little boy who cried when his dad cheered too loudly at the telly.
But he looked right back, giving her a hopefully reassuring smile, and she sighed dramatically before starting to list off on her fingers. “No drugs. No alcohol. No being a hooligan-”
“Yes!” He cheered, pumping his fists in the air before hugging her tightly.
“And no girls, either, you hear me? I'm not ready to be a grandmother.”
Phil burst into laughter at that, giving her cheek a kiss. “Trust me, Mum. Girls aren't going to be an issue.”
He still couldn't believe he had convinced her to let Dan come along. He quickly got out of bed and moved to where he had laid out his outfit the night before-skinny jeans and a black graphic tee he knew his Dad would chide him for being too “girly” for having purple on it-thankfully he could toss Mart’s old hoodie over it to cover it up.
But who cares? It's his birthday. He's 15. He's got a boyfriend, he’s got some new clothes that look ace on him, and he’s got cool hair to match his new confidence. He takes a moment to fiddle with it in the mirror, making sure the inky black strands fall just so, before grinning at himself.
This really will be the best year of his life.
After drinking some coffee and having some toast Martyn, Mum, and Phil pile into the car-Martyn grumbling because Phil had called bagsy and snagged the front seat and managed to convince Mum to listen to something other than BBC (Boring Broadcasts for Cronies, Dan had called it one day in class, causing the teacher to turn multiple shades of red before ordering him out.)
(Phil still giggled at it sometimes).
“Phil-you sure you don't want to come on the tour with us? Dan can join. It'd be good for you to start thinking about university applications.” Mum needled lightly, giving her son a pointed look as he pouted. “You said it yourself. You're not a little kid anymore.”
“How come Phil can bring his friend but I can't bring my girlfriend, huh?” Martyn called from the backseat, arms crossed over his chest. “That's not fair at all!”
“Because. You're not following a girl you've been dating for a month off to Uni.” His mum turned down the music with an exasperated sigh.
“But I like Leeds! It's got a great hockey team-”
“Yes, I know, but you can't live off hockey-”
“Phil gets to-”
“Hey!” Phil said suddenly, freezing as Mum and Martyn turn to stare at him. Phil usually just let his thoughts wander and tuned out bickering, or Dad's comments, or whatever. But today was different.
Today was his day.
“I-Um…I like this song. And we're almost at Dan's. So can we please try not to argue too much and scare him off?”
Mum frowned a little bit, mumbling something about his “new attitude”, but she turned up the music and Martyn whipped out his Nokia for some Snake and Phil bit back a smile, drumming his fingers in time to Avril Lavigne’s My Happy Ending .
By the time the song was over they were pulling up to Dan's street, and Dan came bounding out.
“Happy birthday!” He cheered, laughing as Phil nearly fell out of the car to give him a bro-y high five. “You look fifteen! You actually look older!”
Phil beamed back, taking a moment to look over Dan's outfit-a baggy sweater and jeans just as tight as his own, plus his signature beat-up Converse (Phil had begged for a pair and gotten a Primark copycat, but he knew he had to keep them clean like they were brand name or his parents would have his neck). He looked good. Phil wanted to hug him- well, more than just hug him.
“You'll understand how it feels when you're my age. I remember being as young as you.” He joked, feeling his grin spread wider across his face.
The two stood there, smiling stupidly at each other, before Martyn rolled down the window. “Bagsy! You two hit the back seat!”
“Hello, Daniel.” Phil's mum said as they both got in the car, pressing her lips into a tight smile.
“Hello, Ms. Lester. Thank you for picking me up and inviting me out. I really appreciate it.” Dan said, with such confidence Phil could hardly tell he had made Dan rehearse it countless times the day before. “I like your sweater, by the way.”
Phil's mum seemed impressed. “Well, thank you, dear. Got it last time I was in the city. Maybe you can convince Phil to get something warm while you're out today.”
“I'll try!” He said, a bit too cheerfully, and Phil nudged Dan's foot as her lips twitched upwards before turning to talk to Martyn about Uni applications. Again.
Dan and Phil mumbled to each other in the back seat the whole drive-about music, the rerun of Buffy from the night before, homework-until they pulled up to the main gates of the university.
“Now. You two come back to our car in four hours, understand? If you’re more than five minutes late, I’m calling the police. If you come back drunk, high, or otherwise intoxicated, Phil, you’ll be grounded until your next birthday. And I need you to call me if there’s any trouble.” Phil’s mum listed off, giving them both a serious look.
Phil nodded quickly. “Got it. Promise I have change in my pocket for a payphone-” He froze as his mum held out her hand, smiling slightly as she held in her hand the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
A Nokia 3410.
“Is that…Is that for me?” Phil whispered, looking at it with wide eyes. No way. No way, no way, no way-
“We’ll be keeping track of your texts. And you only have so many minutes for calling-only for emergencies, now-”
Phil gingerly took the device and turned it on, letting out a small squeak as the screen lit up. “Mum, you…thank you so much…” He whispered before turning to Dan. “I have a cell phone!”
“You have a cell phone!” Dan cheered in response, laughing as Phil pumped his fists in the air.
“I have a cell phone!” He whooped. “I’m gonna take on the world!”
“Start with Manchester first. Now go-and remember, three hours!”
Phil laughed as he climbed out of the car, bouncing on his heels excitedly as they split up. “This is the greatest day of my life! The greatest day of what’s going to be the greatest year of my life. And I get to spend it with you.” He added softly, feeling his cheeks heat up a little.
Dan blushed too, shaking his head quickly. “I’m just excited. This is gonna be so fun .”
-
Turns out, Manchester was epic when you could explore without your parents tagging along.
They took the bus towards the Northern Quarter and wandered around artsy shops and music stores for the majority of the time-flipping through used books (Phil’s choice) and checking out weird clothes they could never afford with their combined 20 quid (Dan’s choice) before stopping by to listen to the free snippets of songs down at a few music stores (both of their choices). He felt so cool, now that he had music that he liked on his own that he could share with Dan and other people, instead of making mixtapes that nobody but himself would here.
He never realized how much his family’s music taste of prog rock and whatever mindless pop was on the radio had warped his taste. But he was his own man now. He could like whatever he wanted.
(Even if Dan would make fun of him if he admitted he still liked Steps.)
After the third record shop, they wandered back towards the university, shivering a little as the sun disappeared behind the clouds a bit and warming themselves up with sausage rolls and hot drinks.
When the rain started, Phil clutched his coffee a bit closer before leading Dan down an alleyway. “I think the Uni is right around…oh.”
The two stopped under an awning on the other side when they saw the bar, with a small rainbow flag in the corner window.
Phil snatched the map from his bag he had promised his Mum he’d pack and unfolded it quickly, following the roadway down…
“We’re in the Gay Village?!” Dan asked, eyes wide as he looked up and down the street.
Phil wasn’t sure what he was expecting a gay village to look like-rainbow streets? Shirtless dudes dancing to Britney on the corner? Ellen Degeneres-looking lesbians giving instructions to pubs?
But it didn’t look like anything, really. Just a street with some bars and a few rainbow flags. Still, his heart was beating wildly, and his palms were sweaty.
This is where gay people go.
Duh. You’re a gay person. You’re with your boyfriend right now.
Yeah, but are we gay-gay? Gay village gay?
What is gay-gay?
What if someone from school sees us?
What if-
“Dare you to go in there.” Dan said, pointing down the way towards a shop called Harvey’s Books.
Phil frowned. “There? Should we be going into shops?” He asked, feeling his hands shake-and not just from the cold. How was Dan seeming so calm about this? “What if it’s, erm…dodgy?”
“It’s just a bookstore, Phil. And it’s better than standing under here all day.” Dan pointed out, a bit snappily-just enough edge for Phil to sense that he was a bit nervous, too. “I’m going.” He decided finally before heading off.
“Wha-Dan, not on your own!” And so, Phil walked after them, the rain drenching his hair as the two quickly went into the little shop.
Phil was a bit disappointed to find…well, it really was just a normal bookstore, wasn’t it? There were a few men slowly walking through the aisles, and what looked to be the shopkeeper talking to a man quietly behind the counter, but nobody seemed to care that a couple soaking wet teenagers had come in.
Still, he felt a wave of guilt and fear wash over him, so he dried his shoes off and quickly led Dan into one of the aisles. “Just look casual.” He hissed.
“I am casual! You’re the one looking like you don’t belong!” Dan whispered back, giggling a bit nervously as he glanced at a picture of two men holding hands on the wall.
Phil shot him a look before trying to look very thoughtful at some of the books on the shelves. He stood a bit taller, tried not to shiver in his wet hoodie. He was 15 today. He wasn’t a little kid. He could stand in a gay bookshelf and not-
Once again, Dan dragged him from his thoughts by shoving a book under his nose.
“Oh, but-Sargent, you know you shouldn’t be in my foxhole…” Beecher said, feeling a drop of sweat roll down his cheek.
“That’s not the only-”
“Ew, Dan!” Phil squeaked, feeling his whole face grow hot as he slammed the romance novel shut and shoved it back onto a shelf. “I don’t need to read that!”
Dan was giggling maniacally, his cheeks pink, and even in his frustration Phil couldn’t help but roll his eyes fondly.
As Dan got himself together, though, he noticed a man at the end of the aisle-one who hadn’t been there before, watching them in a way that made Phil want to shrink down into himself.
“You boys look a little young to be here, no?” The man said in a low voice, smirking. He started to walk towards them. Phil smelled something sharp on his breath, and cringed inwardly, nudging Dan.
“We just-we’re-we’re on our way out now-” He said quickly, grabbing Dan’s arm. “Haveagooddaywe’dbestbegoing-”
His heart pounded in his chest, feeling the same panic rise up that always does when he’s called to present in class or when too many people look at him. He hates people looking at him. And there’s something about the way this man is looking at him, and Dan, too, that’s turning his stomach.
Dan stands frozen in his spot, an unmovable force. “We have every right to be here. So we’re going to stay here, actually.” He says, and Phil curses internally at him.
“Well, it’s getting a-a bit late,
Dan
, so-”
“Oi! What are you three up to?” The shopkeep comes round the corner at that moment, and Phil just wants to leave, now , please…
“We’re looking for some books. Is that so wrong?” Dan snaps, grabbing a book at random from the shelf and holding it up. “I think I might like to buy, um-” He reads the cover quickly. “ Pride of the Royal Navy? Would you recommend it?”
Phil’s eyes are boring a hole in the carpet, pleading for the Earth to swallow him whole, as the shopkeep shoots Dan an unamused look. “You two are kids. No way I’m letting you buy that. And that’s exactly why you shouldn’t be leering at them!” He snaps, pointing at the man who sulks away. “These lads can’t be a day over thirteen.”
Dan bristles at that, and Phil’s known him long enough to know this is when he’s about to explode. “Actually, today is his fifteenth birthday, thank you very much!”
The shop goes silent, a few other men turning to stare at them both. “Oh, laddy. We’re 18-plus here. Have to send you on your way, then.” The shopkeep says, sounding a bit less gruff. “Come on, out you get.”
Phil lets himself be escorted to the door, Dan fuming beside him. He has enough sense to turn to the shopkeep, trying not to blubber as he gets out “I’m sorry about all this-we just wanted to get out of the rain-”
“I know, son. Here.” The man sighs and grabs a couple small rainbow stickers from a bowl off the counter. “You’ll get here eventually. I promise.”
Phil takes them with a shaky hand, and the man smiles down at him with such kindness and familiarity that it suddenly brings tears to his eyes. Suddenly, he doesn’t care that the man was yelling at him or that the streets aren’t lined with rainbows. He just realizes that this is a place where he could just be, with people who might get what it’s like, and just as soon as he found it he has to leave?
“I’m sorry.” Dan says once the door is shut, evidently having calmed down once he saw Phil’s sad expression. “This is your birthday, and I flew off the handle…”
“It’s okay.” Phil says, swallowing the lump in his throat. He doesn’t want Dan to be sad. He doesn’t want himself to be sad, either, and so he pauses before smiling over at Dan.
“I bet if I asked my Mum nicely, she’d give us extra time to see the Eye they just put up?”
-
As the two look over the city, holding each other’s hands tightly as the lights go up, Phil still feels a bit of that sadness from earlier. He’s stuck at home for a little bit longer-stuck with Mum, who’ll nag him to go to the best Uni in England and get perfect grades and never step out of line, and Dad, who’ll still push him towards dating girls and wearing stupid clothes like Martyn’s.
He’ll have to go to school where kids will make gay jokes and boys will sneer at his hair and call each other faggots, and where his brother’s reputation will make everyone ask why he hadn’t gone out for sports yet.
He realizes, slowly, that this might not be the best year of his entire life. He might need to wait quite a few years before that happens.
That should scare him, he thinks. But as he looks over at Dan, he realizes he has a piece of the freedom that this city gives him right here next to him, and he feels just a bit warmer.
“What are you looking at?” Dan teases, and Phil laughs.
“Just thinking about Sophomore Slump- I’ll burn this city down to show you the light, ” Phil quotes, smiling shyly as Dan buries his face in his shoulder.
“Shush, you-oaf. Can’t say such sweet things like that on
your
birthday. That’s my job.” Dan grumbled, and Phil laughed gently before pulling Dan away and kissing him lightly.
He realizes it’s the first time they kissed in public-true, it’s a bajillion feet off the ground, and nobody could see them, and it was a very fast kiss, but still.
Dan realizes it at the same time, and they exchange wide-eyed looks before bursting into giggles, hiding their faces in their free hands.
This might not be the best year of Phil’s life, true.
But he thinks he can still make it a good one.