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Izuku snuck up behind the couch where Shouta was sleeping and very carefully climbed the it, gearing himself up for a sneak attack. He had fallen asleep holding on to a small bag of cookies, and he wanted it.
He wanted it bad.
As he reached the precipice of the couch, he eyed Shouta, calculating the trajectory he would need. His eyes were shut, and his breathing was even—definitely fast asleep. All he had to do was land on him, snatch the cookies, and run away as fast as possible.
He could do that.
Narrowing his eyes, he launched himself directly at Shouta’s vulnerable stomach.
Before he could land, Shouta’s eyes snapped open and he caught Izuku easily.
“Ha. Gotcha,” he said, dangling Izuku in air.
Izuku made a face. “What? How?”
“You were doing it wrong. I could hear you come from a mile away.”
“But you were sleeping,” he protested.
Shouta grinned and gently set him down. “No, I just made you think I was. Your loud walking woke me up.”
“How?” he exclaimed. He had been tiptoeing with socks on. “I was quieter than a mouse.”
“No, you really weren’t. Come, I’ll teach you how to do better sneak attacks.”
Izuku perked up. “Really? I thought you said I was too young for that kinda stuff.”
“Hizashi won’t know if you don’t tell him,” he said, getting to his feet and cracking his knuckles. “Let’s do this.”
Izuku cheered.
“Now, try sneaking up on me again. I’ll turn my back, and you pretend to stab me with this knife, okay?”
He handed him the TV remote with a serious expression, and Izuku nodded just as seriously.
Clutching the remote tightly, he crept as silently as possible behind him. Just as he pulled the knife back for a strike, Shouta spun around and disarmed him in an blink of an eye.
“Aw,” Izuku said, pouting.
“Better, but not good enough. You were breathing too loudly.”
“Oh. I wanna try again!” He’d been so focused on walking quietly that he forgot everything else.
“Go ahead.”
Today, Hizashi was the one who fell asleep on the couch. He was in the middle of snacking on chips—the unhealthy kind that Izuku loved and wasn’t allowed to eat often—and he wanted it.
“Izuku,” Shouta whispered, giving him a nudge. He too, was staring at the sleeping form of Hizashi with a shifty gleam in his eyes.
Izuku nodded solemnly. He understood the assignment. Using the techniques Shouta had bestowed upon him, he crept towards him, his weapon in hand. He was still snoring loudly, completely oblivious to the misfortune that was about to befall him.
With a grin, he stabbed him in the stomach and grabbed the bag of chips in one fell swoop.
“Oof! What the?” Hizashi sat up straight, looking around with wide eyes. “Izuku? What did you…?”
“I got you! You’re dead!” he said jubilantly, waving the bag in his face. “I win! Did you see that, Shouta?”
“Yes. Good boy,” Shouta praised, ruffling his hair. “You got stabbed, Hizashi. It was masterful.”
“What? What in the world have you been teaching him?” he asked, glancing at the fallen remote with clear confusion.
“You’re supposed to be dead,” Izuku said, munching on his spoils. “Dead people can’t talk.”
“Uh…right.” He flopped on his back unconvincingly, clutching the spot Izuku had stabbed him. “Ahh…it hurts. I’m dyinggg. If only someone would feed me some tasty chips before I do.”
“If only,” Izuku agreed.
“Yes. Perhaps the boy with green hair who is currently eating chips can spare some?”
“Nope.”
Hizashi flopped again, groaning loudly. “Izukuuuu. My chipsss! They’re my favorite onesssss.”
Izuku giggled.
He sat up with a sigh. “Seriously, what did you teach him while I was gone, Shouta?”
“Sneak attacks. He was doing it wrong. I can’t have a son who can’t do sneak attacks right.”
Hizashi rolled his eyes. “You two are ridiculous. I was sleeping. Of course he succeeded.”
“I tried it on Shouta last time and he caught me,” Izuku complained. “He was sleeping too.”
“Well, yeah. It’s impossible to catch him off guard. I tried too.”
“Better luck next time,” Shouta said, giving Izuku a high five.
“Wow. Just wow. First you corrupt my child, then you steal my chips. How much more do you want to take from me?” Hizashi exclaimed loudly. “I have nothing left. I am…DESTITUTE!”
Izuku grinned. This was too much fun. He hoped Shouta teaches him more sneak attack techniques. He wanted to be able to steal snacks while Hizashi was awake, as well.
“So dramatic,” Shouta said with a soft smile. “You should be proud of Izuku instead.”
Hizashi shook his head. “Of course I am. Just wish he’d spare a few chips,” he said, looking at him with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
“Fine,” he huffed, holding the bag of chips towards him.
“Thanks!” Quick as a bullet, he stuck both his hands in the bag and grabbed a large handful.
“Hizashi!” Izuku cried. The bag felt significantly lighter now, and a glance inside told him it was mostly gone. “That’s not fair.”
“Heh. Looks like you got more to learn, kiddo,” he said, stuffing his mouth with a handful of chips.
“Yes. Lesson number two. We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” Shouta said seriously.
Izuku pouted. “I’ll get you next time.”
“You’re welcome to try.”