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The day Yui spent wiping away her tears and telling herself that what's done is done, she had thought that she'd played volleyball for the last time. But thoughts don't last and she's found herself in sports gear - sneakers, shorts and a loose shirt - balling her hands into fists at her side, in front of the gym the local team plays in.
"It's just for fun," she says to herself, talking out loud to make the words sound more firm. "No one will care that I'm a failed captain."
The light shining from the high gym windows is the same as the light that used to shine in the mornings from Karasuno's gym when she was the only one coming to winter practice. She blinks back tears, reminds herself again that what's done is done.
With a deep breath, she gathers her courage and steps through the door, courage is perhaps the only thing she has going for her, though maybe she has a streak of determination, too.
"I'd like to join, please!" she says, once she's entered, head ducked and hands tight, not trusting herself to look up in case the other members of the team are different enough from her old team that she looks entirely out of place.
"We'd be pleased to have you, Yui-chan," a soft voice greets her, and Yui's eyes fly wide open as she looks up. The ex-manager from the old boy's team is smiling at her as she sets up the net.
Perhaps she's the manager? Yui thinks. The volleyball community isn't large but she's still surprised.
"The team is out running at the moment," she continues. "But they'll be happy to have another spiker."
"R-right," Yui says, still reeling from encountering someone like-- Oh shoot. "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." Her cheeks turn pink with the admission, it's embarrassing that she can't remember the name of someone she liked, even from afar, in high school, but she thinks it's better to admit it now than go on further without a clue as to what her name is.
Thankfully, she laughs in a tiny chuckle that she covers with a hand, though Yui catches sight of dimples before she does. "Kiyoko, Shimizu Kiyoko."
Yui nods, fidgeting with her bag. She steps further inside and sets it down to one side. "Can I help with that?" she asks. She would really like to prove she's not entirely useless since she's made such a poor re-impression.
"Please," Kiyoko replies, and shifts so Yui can take over her spot fussing with the net, moving to the other side.
Once the team returns, introductions go well and Yui receives three pats on the back that verge on hugs from the more boisterous members and one half bow from the team's tiny libero.
She has a team again, and she's happy to have them.
*
Yui wipes her forehead and keeps her eyes on the opposition. The team on the other side of the net isn't the best, but then neither is Yui's, and the fight to win is tough. She likes being a junior player again. Though some of the other members have less experience than she does, they've all been on the team longer.
They're from a range of backgrounds, some are mothers, playing as something to do while their husbands are out, a couple are studying and say that it's nice to spend some time not hunched over books. And there's Kiyoko, as firm a member of the team as any. They'd never make it without her, even casual as the team is. Yui can't fathom what she gets out of it, but she clearly does, with her hands clasped together on the sidelines of every match, eyes shining and mouth pulled into a tiny, excited smile.
They lose this game. Yui thinks that's okay though, it's a satisfying loss, the kind that comes from both sides doing their best. They'll be able to play again next week no matter what, one of the benefits of playing on their casual team. No prizes or sponsors knocking down the door of the winners of the tournament, but Yui thinks she's better here.
She still sniffs as she shakes the hand of her opponent, not having to keep quite the hold on herself that she used to when she was captain, but she doesn't cry, not even after they've packed up because the vice captain declares that they're going out for "Losers' drinks!" She claims that they're the best losers there are, and that losers that good need alcohol.
Yui laughs along with the rest of the team, but lingers in the gym as they leave for their usual bar, waiting for Kiyoko.
"Are you going to go?" she asks, not letting herself hope but knowing that she is.
Kiyoko pauses as she thinks. For all the games that Yui's played, Kiyoko has never joined them afterwards. Instead, she shakes her head and makes her excuses, leaving before anyone else notices. Yui always goes. It’s nice to make friends and get to know the others, but she always hopes that she'll get the chance to get to know Kiyoko as well. "Okay," she says. Her eyes are bright and Yui's heart soars.
"Alright!" Yui allows herself a celebratory fistpump and it draws a tiny chuckle out of Kiyoko. "Do you drink?" she asks, linking their arms together, so Kiyoko can't escape without a little bit of effort. It feels mean, but she thinks that Kiyoko just wanted to know that it was okay for a manager to join the team, even though she would never be anything but, so her arm through Kiyoko's is a matter of giving that assurance rather than a contract.
*
Once they're at the bar, Yui discovers that Kiyoko does drink. She drinks a lot. By the time she's nursing her fourth fruity something, she's loosened up to the point where she thinks everything is funny and doesn't want to let go of Yui.
Somewhere before or after drink number three, the other members of the team started to peel off, heading back to the rest of their lives. Hitomi, the team's libero who bowed on the first day, is the last to go and leaves at the end of drink five. Smiling, she says how nice it was to have Kiyoko and Yui out with the rest of the team.
Kiyoko presses her face into Yui's shoulder, with her breath tickling where it flows out of her delicate nose. "Thank you, for asking," she says, her voice barely audible, even though this pub isn't that loud and Yui can't move from how close Kiyoko is.
"That's okay, it's really, really, nice that you came." Yui feels silly saying it like that, but she is, she wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important to her. She likes spending time with Kiyoko, and she's sure the rest of the team does as well. "Um, everyone else likes having you here too, you know?"
Kiyoko laughs and shakes her head, smiling against Yui's skin. "It means more, coming from you."
Yui doesn't know what to say after that, and Kiyoko has slipped into the sleepy state before true intoxication and doesn't seem like she's fighting it so she doesn't try and keep up a conversation either. Yui sips her drink, waiting until the last piece of ice has melted and her glass is dry before declaring it done. She's not as far gone as Kiyoko, but she does have a warm feeling in her cheeks that makes her smile as she eases Kiyoko into supporting her own weight.
"Do you want me to take you home?" she asks. She's already decided she's going to look out for her whatever she says, but she doesn't know where Kiyoko lives so it's hard to plan how.
A long moment passes as Kiyoko thinks. "Could I sleep at yours?" she asks, eventually. Yui's heart leaps into her throat.
"Of course!" she says, glad she has enough sense left in her to reply.
"Thank you, I didn't want to catch a taxi, and your apartment is closer." Kiyoko links their arms together as Yui steers them towards the exit.
While Kiyoko doesn't seem to think anything of it, Yui's thoughts linger on the implication that Kiyoko knows not just Yui's address, but where it is. She supposes she can ask her about that later, if she remembers, but puts it down to Kiyoko being a good manager.
They make it back to her apartment without incident, and most of the warm feeling of the alcohol has left Yui by the time they've finished their short walk and she's unlocking the door.
"Thank you," Kiyoko says as she pulls off her shoes. She wobbles slightly, so Yui steadies her with an arm around her shoulder that she keeps there for perhaps a moment too long. She hopes Kiyoko doesn't notice.
"You're welcome?" Yui says in reply, unsure what Kiyoko is thanking her for.
Kiyoko is only slightly more awake than she was at the bar, so Yui offers her spare pyjamas, a glass of water and a spare toothbrush in short order. Kiyoko takes each with another thank you and emerges from Yui's bathroom minutes later with Yui's pyjamas hiding both her hands and feet.
Yui tries not to laugh, and mostly succeeds. "They look good on you," she says. There's something just a bit different about Kiyoko than usual, though Yui can't put her finger on it. "You can take my bed, it's not the comfiest but hopefully you can manage for a night."
"Where are you going to sleep?"
Yui hadn't thought about that, and covers with a laugh, rubbing the back of her head. "Um, the couch, I think. I'll be fine!"
Kiyoko's shakes her head. "I don't want to put you out, Yui-chan." Her smile distracts Yui for a second before she can think again.
"It's fine!" she says again, though she suspects if it didn't work the first time, even with alcohol in her, Kiyoko won't budge. "I should have a spare futon for guests so it's my own fault, really. My dad always says that I need to plan more, but I never do." She tries to, as much as she can, anyway, but she always loses track part way through and ends up with a tangle of half finished lists and notes that are no use to anyone and no results.
Kiyoko shakes her head. "We should be able to both fit, shouldn't we?"
Heat rises, unbidden, up the back of Yui's neck and onto her cheeks. "If you're sure?" she asks, though she doesn't think Kiyoko would ever suggest something she wasn't sure of, she always carries around that quiet air of confidence with her.
This time, Kiyoko nods. "I don't mind at all," she says.
They sleep with Kiyoko snoring softly into Yui's back, one arm around her waist. Yui spent what felt like hours after Kiyoko drifted off listening to her and feeling how warm she is wrapped around her.
When she's being honest with herself, which she tries to be though sometimes it's rough going, she's had a crush on Kiyoko ever since her one on Daichi faded away. Kiyoko is everything she is not, cool and collected, beautiful without ego. She keeps herself composed even when she's surrounded by chaos. In their conversations around practice, Yui discovered that Kiyoko is working as a secretary to a lawyer. Yui had told her how cool that is but she doesn't know whether Kiyoko took on board how sincerely she means that. She can't think of a better position for Kiyoko than making sure important people have the details others skip over in order.
She laces her fingers through Kiyoko's where they rest on her waist, and tries to work out whether she should tell her about her feelings, but sleep and morning both come without an answer.
Through the night, their positions don't shift much, so when Yui wakes up the only difference is how firmly Kiyoko's pressed against her. Her breath hitches when she realises that the soft tickling she can feel on the back of her neck is from Kiyoko's hair brushing against it as she stirs.
"Are you awake?" Yui asks, keeping her voice as quiet and low as she can and trying not to dwell on the fact that she has a cute girl in her bed.
"Mm, I hope not," says Kiyoko, voice clear and quiet. She is very definitely asleep.
Yui laughs, but stops as soon as she can so she doesn't shake Kiyoko. "I guess that means I can get up and make you breakfast?"
Kiyoko's hair tickles her neck again as she moves and her voice is more distinct when she speaks. "I'll help."
Even without her face pressed against Yui's back, she sounds mostly asleep, so Yui laughs off her offer. "It's just cereal, I should be able to manage." She eases her way out of bed and wiggles her toes in the carpet as a way of grounding herself before turning to see Kiyoko smiling and blinking slowly with the sheets all the way up to her chin.
Yui breaks her gaze away before she gets too involved with staring and starts blushing.
As she's pouring milk into her own bowl, and wondering whether she should let Kiyoko measure out her own or do it for her, Yui feels eyes on the back of her neck and turns to see Kiyoko watching her. Her hair is mussed from sleep and Yui's pyjamas are just as big on her as they were the night before.
"Thank you," Kiyoko says. It's beginning to become a familiar phrase. "You look," she pauses to search for the right word, "nice."
Yui's cheeks bloom red and she returns her attention to the cereal bowls, dousing Kiyoko's bowl with milk, having reached a conclusion without realising it. "Thank you," she says when she can choke out a reply. She's embarrassing herself but she feels like Kiyoko's sprung a trap on her, giving her a compliment, even one so small.
"I like you." Kiyoko takes a breath. "A lot."
Yui hears Kiyoko's words echo around her small kitchen before she can process them, and by that time Kiyoko's saying more.
"I'm sure you don't feel the same, but it wouldn't feel right not to tell you, and-"
Yui sets the milk back on the bench, in line with their cereal bowls and she steps forward into Kiyoko’s space. Her mind reaches the conclusion her body already has moments later. I'm going to kiss her, she thinks with a rush, I'm really going to do it. She’s nervous as she tilts her head up to bring their lips together. She doesn't know what to do with her hands and her thoughts linger on how close she is to Kiyoko, though they were closer last night.
Kiyoko reacts slowly to the kiss, her lips not moving under Yui's, her only response her eyes growing wide.
Yui draws back, cheeks red, half sure they're going to stay that way permanently, and her heart racing like she's half way through a match and about to serve.
"Thank you," Kiyoko says.
Yui can't help the laugh that bubbles up, lighting up her face and heart. "You're welcome!" she replies, and she means it with all her might.