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“Uh, do you wanna join us? We’re going to grab a bite to eat?” Lucy asks, her arm hooked with Chris’ as her eyes beat down on Tim, who is still clutching the radio she had just relinquished back to him.
“Oh, no, no. I’m good. You two have fun,” he smiles, shaking his head. Lucy and Chris say goodbye and head back through the LAPD glass doors.
If Lucy would have turned her head back 5 seconds earlier, she would have seen Tim holding onto his door handle a little too long, giving him an excuse to gaze upon her gorgeous locks bouncing against her back as she walked away from him.
Tim’s drive home feels longer than usual, mostly because he purposely takes three wrong turns to avoid the emptiness that is waiting for him behind the door. Ashley had finally picked up her things a few days ago, and while it was a relief to not have to live with the remnants of a broken relationship, it left a void in his house. He hated the empty drawer at the bottom of his dresser, and the gap on his bathroom counter that was once filled with the skincare and hair products she tended to leave.
It wasn’t like this was his first breakup, but it all just felt so… amplified, and part of him wondered if that was because there was something he wanted to fill the void. But he couldn’t stay in his truck forever, so he eventually pulls in and returns back home.
—
Lucy isn’t exactly sure why she told Chris that Mediterranean food sounded great, because the thought of having to shove any kind of food down her throat is practically sickening. But she doesn’t want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings, so she orders a soda and side salad. By the end of the hour, she's had 2 refills of her coke, but her salad is life untouched. Chris had already paid the bill, and they were just waiting on a to-go box for her.
“Lucy, is everything okay? Did you not like the food?” Chris asks, and the abundance of concern lining his tone begins to annoy her.
“It was fine, I’m just not hungry.” She pinches the straw in her empty glass with her fingers and begins to swirl it around in ice, using the clink to drown out the sounds of couples around them.
“Is something bothering you, because you seem upset-” Chris starts. He begins to reach his hand across the table, but Lucy removes both of hers from the table and runs them through her hair.
“I’m fine, I’m just tired,” she sighs as Chris backs away. She refrains from wincing as she sees the confusion painted across his face, because she never wanted to hurt him. Lucy knew that Chris was a good guy, but she just wasn’t sure if she was the guy for her. And the one thing about Chris that had begun to get on his nerves was his insistence.
“Come on, babe. You’ve been quiet all night, and you usually talk up a storm. What are you thinking about?” he asks again, and for some reason, her face turns red. .She just isn’t sure if it’s out of anger or embarrassment.
Chris was right, Lucy had been thinking about something for the past hour: Tim and Ashley had broken up. She felt guilty that her boyfriend had been sitting right in front of her all night, but all she could think about was her former T.O.
“Chris, just drop it,” she pleads, “I had a long day and I’m tired. Everything is fine.”
“You’ve been spacing out all night. Is it something that I did?”
“I haven’t been!” she defends, and Chris raises his eyebrows.
“Oh yeah? Well, name one thing that I’ve talked about today.” And Lucy is speechless, because Chris’ words went in one ear, and straight out the other. She was so wrapped up in her own feelings that she somehow managed to ignore someone who was a foot away from her.
“Look I- I’m sorry,” she starts, but Chris cuts her off.
“Lucy, there’s something that you’re not telling me. Just rip the bandage off.”
And Lucy knows that Chris has no idea how big the bandage is, but she owes it to him to be honest with him. Because the longer she stays in this safe relationship, the more it’s going to hurt Chris when it does inevitably end.
She isn’t sure how to let him down slowly, because she’d shown no indication that she was unhappy in this relationship. And she wasn’t unhappy, really, she just wasn’t happy. She didn’t really feel anything. She must have taken too long to answer, because she saw her boyfriend's face fall before she even opened her mouth.
“Oh,” he says, “you’re about to break up with me.”
“Chris, you’re a great guy, and you’ve been so good to me. I wish I loved you, I really do. But I just… don’t think that this is working,” she explains.
“You don’t love me?” he asks, his eyes wide like a puppy dog who has just been kicked. Lucy sinks deeper into her seat, her heart breaking for him, but not with him.
“It’s not your fault, it’s me,” she sputters, but Chris shakes his head.
“I- I guess I misread this, I’m sorry,” he says shakily as he stands up. Lucy wants to stop him and explain herself, but she can’t bring herself to open her mouth. So she watches him walk away until his figure disappears behind the doors.
—
It’s only 9 p.m. and Tim is still brushing off the adrenaline from his shift, so he takes Kojo out for a quick walk around the block. As he turns the corner he sees a familiar car drive by, but it’s dark and his mind is elsewhere and he can’t quite figure out whose car it is. He brushes it off, but he sees the same exact car drive by again. He knows that it’s not a crime to drive circles, but the familiarity of the car is lingering in the back of his mind. So he follows it as fast as he can without raising suspicion; he loses the car after about 3 minutes, and Kojo practically tugs at his leash, letting Tim know that he’s done for the night.
But when Tim returns back to his block, he sees the car parked right in front of his mailbox. He begins to pull out his phone in case he needs to call something in, but his heart drops when he sees the array of small bumper stickers lining the rearview mirror. He recognized the car earlier because it’s Lucy’s car.
The lights inside are on, so he knows that she’s inside. His pace quicks as he nears his house, his heart beat following the same pattern. At first Lucy doesn’t notice him approaching the passenger side window, and it isn’t until Kojo starts incessantly barking that her head whips to the right.
The panic in her eyes is immediate, and a look of regret is painted all over her face. But she’s in too deep now, so she finishes turning off her engine and awkwardly steps out of her car.
“Lucy, is everything okay?” Tim speaks first as she joins him on the sidewalk. Her hands are in her pocket and her head is turned down; Tim didn’t even need to see her face in the light to guess that her face was red.
“Yeah,” she pauses and bites her lip, “I just- wanted to check in on you.”
Tim furrows his brow as Lucy furthers her gaze, pretending to observe a squirrel on the neighbor's mailbox. He knows that she is lying; he hadn’t seemed that upset over Ashley, had he?
“Oh, I’m fine. It was never going to work anyway,” he sighs, digging his hands into his pockets.
“I guess, but it still sucks.” Her eyes begin to well with tears as her gaze gravitates back towards Tim.
“Lucy, what’s wrong?” Tim asked, slightly panicked by her elusiveness.
“Chris and I broke this off. Well, I guess I broke things off with him,” Lucy says sharply.
“Oh, Lucy, I’m so sorry.” He debates hugging her, but refrains due to her unnaturally reserved body language.
“It needed to happen,” she brushes her hands as she stands up straight, finally looking Tim in the eye. “Chris was great, he just isn't-”
She catches herself before finishing the sentence, and Tim is incredibly intrigued.
“He’s just not what?” he asks, amused. It might have been cocky for him to assume that she was going to say ‘you,’ but she wouldn’t be at his house if she had her eye on someone else.
“He’s just not you,” she says through a single breath, finally locking eyes with him for the first time.
“He’s not you,” she repeats, stepping closer to him. Her gaze is unwavering, as if she’s trying to decipher the thoughts behind his eyes. Tim’s hand flies up to her shoulder and trails it’s way down her arm until he’s run out of skin, and he leaves it resting on her hip.
They’re only mere inches apart now, and Lucy can feel the air filtering in and out of Tim’s nose.
“Lucy,” he whispers, but he’s not exactly sure where to go from there. Luckily, she gives him the clarity.
“What are you waiting for?” And her words are just barely able to escape her mouth before Tim presses his lips against hers. It’s rough, as if he’d been crawling out of his skin up until this very moment, waiting for their adjoining. She falls back against her car, but she feels Tim’s hand pressing against her lower back, ensuring that the metal isn’t digging into her skin.
None of them really process what is happening until they find themselves searching for air inside of each other, ultimately having to pull away due to the strain on their lungs.
Lucy stares at Tim with pure wonder as they both pant; she feels as if she’s been transported into another universe. It was as if a hole in her heart had been filled, one that she didn’t even know existed.
“That was…” Tim said once he finally caught his breath. 10 minutes ago he’d felt so empty and broken; now he wasn’t sure if it was possible to feel any more fulfilled. If he could stay in this moment forever, he would.
“Wow,” Lucy nods her head in agreement, and Tim wastes no time before diving in once again.