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Two teenage boys, two kids with shitty home lives, and enough trauma to bond over. They bounced off each other in the most unhealthy way, becoming dependent fast. From the moment they met each other, it was destined to fail. They would burn so brightly that they would turn to ash. Desperate to have someone to cling to when there was no one else.
Hours spent together whether they were at school or holed up in the bedroom. Drinking lazily while watching a movie or smoking joints by the pool. The occasional pill was taken if they could find a hidden stash of Xandras. Anything to give them that release of dopamine they so desperately crave.
Never leaving each other's side, constantly needing each other's touch just to relax. Theo couldn’t handle being by himself and neither can Boris. They feed into each other's need for one another. No matter what was said it didn’t pull the boys away. What they were wasn’t important, it was just important that they were together.
~
The only one who faced any consequences of their odd relationship was Theo. People either liked Boris too much or were scared of him to say anything, but Theo? Theo was free picking for them. He was a small kid, with odd glasses and a style that was more suited for his life back in New York. It was never physical really, a rough shove here or there but most of the bullying was verbal. From being called a loser or nerd to calling him a faggot. It didn’t just stop there though. The insults were harsh and they made Theo sick to his stomach.
“Aw look at the fairy is all alone.”
“Oh look who it is, that Russian kid's boyfriend.”
“Where’s your boyfriend? Did he get tired of you?”
“Shouldn’t you be off sucking that Russian kid or something?”
These never phased him, they got old fast. He was used to hearing comments like that no matter where he went to school. The one that did hurt him the most though?
“Boris’ slut.”
No one was quiet about what they thought of the boys. Teachers and students alike would gossip about their opinions of the two. It always affected Theo more, Boris never had to worry and Theo didn’t want him to. He kept what he heard to himself and tried to stay as carefree as Boris. The weed and pills helped with that but he could still hear their words.
As the boys grew older, they became more curious and Theo thought they were just proving the bullies right. The late nights when the two were beyond intoxicated, and they would touch. Quick hands and equally quick breaths. They never spoke a word of it in the morning even though Theo wanted to. Theo stayed quiet, in fear of breaking their bond.
-
“Potter, why upset?” Boris asked, lazy eyes drifting over to the other.
“Bothering me? Nothing, everything’s fine.” The reply came out defensively.
Theo knew this could blow up into a huge fight and he couldn’t handle that right now. The past few weeks have been horrible for Theo. He just wanted to spend one night with Boris that didn’t involve the other trying to convince him to party. Go out with him and the new girl he was fucking, Kotka. His dad and Xandra were out, leaving the boys some money on the table for them to order food. Just one night of peace is all he wants.
“See! You are angry.” Boris stated that he just solved a riddle.
“Boris, I’m fine, do you want another beer?”
Theo was itching for a way out of this conversation. He didn’t even wait for a response before he walked away. The worst part about this situation was that Boris hadn’t bothered to stop with their late-night adventures. A few beers, two many and the two would be on each other like a house of fire. They fell into this routine all too easily and Theo couldn’t stop. Boris was all-consuming.
“Theo, what is wrong?” Boris pushed like he always did.
“It’s nothing! Everything is fine, okay?” Theo couldn’t do this, not now, not ever.
“Tell me! I can help, I am serious.”
“Why can't you just drop it?” Theo asked, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat.
Theo didn’t plan to hear the answer, pushing his way past the taller boy. He rushed up the stairs and into his room. The door slammed behind him, which he locked before he collapsed onto his bed. It smelled of stale beer and Boris. He stopped trying to hold back his emotions, finally letting the tears fall. It didn’t take long for the slight sniffles to turn into heartbreaking sobs.
“Potter, what is wrong? Open up,” Boris said, Theo couldn’t reply but he could hear the door handle jiggle, and frantic knocks alongside.
Theo knew Boris would find a way in, he always did but until then he would just cry. Cry until he can’t breathe, finally letting go. It was bound to happen and Theo was proud of how long he held out. Curled up on his side, unsure if it was his sheets or his shirt that smelled more of Boris. Knees pulled to his chest like the whole world was weighing down on him, sending him into a daze.
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he felt the bed dip. A hand found a way to his hair, fingers running through his hair. Gentle and slender fingers that could only belong to Boris. Theo was both comforted and upset that the other was finally in the room with him.
“What is wrong? Why will you not tell me, Theo?” Boris asked, sounding as heartbroken as Theo must’ve sounded.
“Why do you keep sleeping with me, Boris? Am I just like Katok, just someone to sleep with?” Theo asked, pushing himself up.
“I don’t get what you mean Theo,”
“Pick one of us Boris please, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t continue feeling like I’m second place to a girl you just met.” Theo started, he felt himself getting angry. “Do you know what I go through just from our friendship? The things I’ve been called?”
“Theo what-” Boris tried to interject but Theo wasn’t going to give him the time.
“From being shoved to getting called a faggot or fairy. I’ve been referred to as your slut more often than my name! Every day at school is hell for me Boris,” He finished, chest heaving. By the end of his rant Theo was shaky and an inch away from a second breakdown.
The silence stretched on for what felt like forever before he felt himself being pulled into a hug. It didn’t take long for him to start crying again, grabbing onto Boris like he was a lifeline. No matter how angry he tries to be at Boris or how upset the other makes him he can’t help but relax when in his hold. They needed each other because somewhere in between the yelling and Theo's breakdown Boris was crying just as hard. Boris was muttering in whatever language that Theo was too upset to listen to. He knew Boris was apologizing, he always knew when he was.
“Am sorry Potter.” Boris croaked out when the tears had dried, using the nickname to try and lighten the melancholy that befell the room.
“I know you are.”
Theo felt his hands grasp his face, pulling him in for a kiss that he was eager to return. He knew they would need to talk about this more. They can’t just ignore this like they have any other encounter but he didn’t want to worry about that right now. He was just happy to have Boris as his and his alone tonight.
“I choose you, Potter, always.” Was whispered against his lips and for now, that was enough.