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Published:
2024-02-01
Updated:
2025-09-25
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16,213
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6/?
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๐™„๐™ก๐™ก๐™ž๐™˜๐™ž๐™ฉ ๐˜ผ๐™›๐™›๐™–๐™ž๐™ง๐™จ

Summary:

๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต'๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ง๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ด
๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ค๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด
๐˜๐˜ต'๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ
๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด
๐˜ˆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด
- Taylor Swift, Folklore 2020
๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ—ก๐“†™๐Ÿชฝ

How my Maladaptive Daydreams are manifesting Good Omens S3 to go down because I am too impatient to wait until 2026/2027 for this shit. Neil Gaiman, you have rotted my brain with gay people i hope you're happy.

Notes:

gaymens Brainrot has gotten to me. My friends are sick of hearin me talk about it, My family is sick of me talking about it, so Ao3 willl be my new victim >:3 So sorry for a short beginning chapter. This is supposed to be a prologue to the story, kind of like the minisodes like they do in the show. I'm trying to make as few plotholes as possible, but some might slip through the crack so just ignore them for my sake. ok???? ok!!!!

Thank you for reading <3

Chapter 1: ๐˜๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ ๐˜Œ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ

Summary:

๐–ง๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–พ๐—’, ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž'๐—‹๐–พ ๐–ฟ๐–บ๐—†๐—‚๐—…๐—‚๐–บ๐—‹ ๐—…๐—‚๐—„๐–พ ๐—†๐—’ ๐—†๐—‚๐—‹๐—‹๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—’๐–พ๐–บ๐—‹๐—Œ ๐–บ๐—€๐—ˆ
๐–จ๐–ฝ๐–พ๐–บ๐—…๐—‚๐—Œ๐—† ๐—Œ๐—‚๐—๐—Œ ๐—‚๐—‡ ๐—‰๐—‹๐—‚๐—Œ๐—ˆ๐—‡,
๐–ผ๐—๐—‚๐—๐–บ๐—…๐—‹๐—’ ๐–ฟ๐–พ๐—…๐—… ๐—ˆ๐—‡ ๐—‚๐—๐—Œ ๐—Œ๐—๐—ˆ๐—‹๐–ฝ
๐–จ๐—‡๐—‡๐—ˆ๐–ผ๐–พ๐—‡๐–ผ๐–พ ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐—Œ๐–ผ๐—‹๐–พ๐–บ๐—†๐—‚๐—‡๐—€,
๐—๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–พ๐—’, ๐–บ๐—Œ๐—„ ๐—†๐–พ ๐–จ ๐—Œ๐—๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—…๐–ฝ ๐—„๐—‡๐—ˆ๐—
๐–จ ๐—Œ๐—…๐—‚๐—๐—๐–พ๐—‹๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐—๐–พ๐—‹๐–พ ๐–ฟ๐—‹๐—ˆ๐—† ๐–ค๐–ฝ๐–พ๐—‡
๐—ƒ๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— ๐—๐—ˆ ๐—Œ๐—‚๐— ๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—๐—Œ๐—‚๐–ฝ๐–พ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—‹ ๐–ฝ๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐—‹

or

Lilith and Crawley discuss shenanigans within the Garden of Eden

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The garden of Eden had been under the eyes of angels and demons alike, including The Serpent of the Apple Tree and The Angel of the Western Gate. There was another being, however, that stood and admired Adam and Eve living. Lilith, Duchess of Hell, couldn't help but watch the first ever humans interact with the new world. Unlike his sister, Lucifer wasn't interested in humans or whatever god was doing with earth. Since he fell, he didn't pay mind to the ones who ripped him of his angelic title.

โ€œWhat makes them so interesting to you?โ€ Crawley, a demon Lilith was an acquaintance of, asked as he watched Lilith walk around the Gardenโ€™s gates, looking for the humans. โ€œIt's not of interest, Crawley. I just..โ€ She trailed off, searching her consciousness for the proper wording. Having been assigned to become Adamโ€™s wife before Eve, she admired the couple from afar. For a chance to see what she chose to miss out on or just to see what they would do, Lilith couldn't figure it out. All she knew was the Duchess of Hell shouldn't be spying on Mortals. She had demons to do that for her. Yet here she stood with Crawley, watching Adam and Eve live.

โ€œThey're just interesting to watchโ€ She finished after a moment, smiling at the demon that accompanied her. โ€œI don't see what's so interesting about them. They're just people. We'll have billions eventually. Why are these two so important?โ€ Crawley complained, looking up at the sky before returning her attention to the garden before her. โ€œThat's just the thing, Crawley! They are the start of something incredible! Can you imagine what will happen in the next-โ€ Lilith counted in her head how long this world could exist, โ€œ6,000 years because of these two?โ€ She exclaimed, turning to Crawley. โ€œWe're watching the beginning ofโ€ฆ..well, everything!โ€

โ€œAnd it's all gonna be destroyed after those 6,000 years.โ€ Crawley muttered, watching as Adam stood in the river running through the garden. โ€œ...right. The divine plan.โ€ Lilith sighed, just as Eve met Adam in the river. โ€œYou plan on fighting the angels when the time comes? I know you've still got a friend up in heavenโ€ Crawley laughed at the question. โ€œIf you call on me to fight, Lilith, I would be more than willing to fight.โ€ When Lilith first fell, Crawley wasn't hesitant to offer to general her troops whenever the time came; she had helped him numerous times in heaven before they fell, it was the least she could offer to the Duchess.

โ€œEasy, now. Who said I wouldn't be fighting right alongside you?โ€ Lilith asked, arms crossing over her chest. โ€œA Duchess of Hell shouldn't have to fight. You-โ€ โ€œI know. I have demons that can do my dirty work. Butโ€ฆ.โ€ She trailed off, walking on the edge of the gardenโ€™s walls. โ€œWe both know I've got some unfinished business upstairs. Scores to settle, you understand.โ€ She sighed, sliding into sitting on the edge of the gardenโ€™s gate. โ€œAnd Lucifer knows this?โ€ Crawley asked, sitting down right next to her. โ€œ.... partially.โ€

Crawley hummed at that answer, not looking at Lilith. A few moments of silence followed as they watched the couple go on with their day. โ€œWhyโ€™d God do that?โ€ Lilith asked. โ€œDo what?โ€
โ€œThe apple tree. In the middle of the garden. Seems kind of weird to give them a โ€˜Donโ€™t touchโ€™ sign in the middle of the garden. If I was Eve, I would've already eaten one of those โ€˜cursedโ€™ apples just to see what happens.โ€ Lilith rambled, Crawleyโ€™s snake eyes staring at her as she spoke. โ€œGod could've- I don't know- hide it in the mountains? Make them hard to get to?โ€

โ€œGod isโ€ฆunpredictable. Who knows what they have in store for this worldโ€ Crawley sighed, standing up. Lilith watched as he stood, expecting him to leave. To her surprise, he stayed. One standing on the wall, the other sitting as they continued to observe Adam and Eve.

โ€œYโ€™know what could be fun?โ€ Lilith asked, a mischievous smile spreading over her face. Crawley hummed a question, not feeling the need to have to explicitly ask what. โ€œTempting them. Can you imagine what that might ruin in The Divine Plan? They share an apple, God finds out and smites them down just like that!โ€ Lilith laughed, snapping as she tried to demonstrate how theyโ€™d be smitten. โ€œAnd how exactly do you plan on tempting them?โ€ Crawley asked as Lilith stood from her seat. โ€œWho said I was tempting?โ€ Lilith raised a brow.

โ€œNo.โ€
โ€œCrawley, please-โ€
โ€œLilith, I would rather do anything else.โ€
โ€œCrawley, you're the only demon I know that has a snake form that can blend into the garden. Not even God would be able to figure out if you were the one that tempted them!โ€ Lilith pleaded. Crawley rolled his eyes, trying to ignore Lilithโ€™s plan. Lilith sighed, realizing she wasn't going to let up anytime soon. โ€œ...if I do it. Aziraphale has to know.โ€

โ€œWill he tell?โ€
โ€œNot a soul. I trust himโ€
Lilith thought about his words. She hadn't met, to her knowledge, Crawleyโ€™s friend. From what he had told her, however, he wasn't exactly the most angelic being in the world. To be fair, any angel knowingly interacting with a demon can't exactly be all that good. โ€œAlright. He can know of the temptation, but only if you tell him it's your idea.โ€
โ€œWhy can't I credit you?โ€ Crawley asked.
โ€œNever met the angel. Can't exactly trust that he won't snitch to the archangels and god about it being my idea.โ€

Crawley nodded, understanding Lilithโ€™s reasoning. Crawley stared into the garden as Lilith slowly turned her gaze to him. Crawleyโ€™s ink black wings splayed out behind him as she planned out how to approach the mortals. โ€œYโ€™know, I don't think your name suits you.โ€
โ€œHm?โ€ Crawley asked, snapping back to reality.
โ€œYour name. Crawley doesn't fit you. Tooโ€ฆ slithering slimily at your feet.โ€ Lilith explained, standing up.

Placing a gentle hand to the feathers of Crawley's left wing, she faced him. โ€œYou remind me more of a crow than a snake.โ€

"Crowley. Hm." Lilith hummed. "That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?," She smiled, pulling her hand away from his feathers as she walked away from the demon. Crawley watched as she disappeared back to Hell, leaving him alone in the garden of Eden to do Lilithโ€™s dirty work.

Notes:

HIIIIIIII this is peak mental illness tbh. My mind sees all of this happening in S3. HAVE FUN READING!!!!!