Chapter Text
My dainty fist trembled as I knocked on Max’s dorm room door. Max is my most trusted and sometimes I think only friend, so why am I so nervous to tell her my only secret? Maybe I shouldn’t, maybe I should just go back to my room. I went to turn away as Max’s door creaked open.
“Kate!” Max’s cheerful welcome smile invaded my thoughts “What’s up?”
“Oh, Max. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment…” I shifted in my spot. Holding my left arm with my right hand.
“Yeah, of course come on in, Kate.” Max pulled open the door and revealed her room to me, it hadn’t changed at all. I shyly walked in and took a seat on her sofa, being joined by Max shortly after she closed the door.
We sat in silence, the two of us not daring to look each other in the eye.
“So… What did you want to talk about?” Max urged, tilting her head to look at me.
“Oh um...” My heart started beating faster than I could imagine, my hands trembled and my eyes watered. Why was it so hard to say out loud? “Max, I…” I plunged my head into my hands, allowing them to support my forehead while I blurted out my biggest secret to the one and only Super-Max.
“About the roof, Max, I am grateful and you know it but I can’t help but feel as if I’m carrying around such a burden about all this, my secret feels heavy and it weighs me down. I don’t think I can take holding it in anymore…” Warmth started to run down my forearms, my tears. I could feel Max’s friendly warmth as she put a hand on my back, rubbing it soothingly.
“It’s okay, Kate. Just tell me what’s wrong. I can help.” I let a few sobs out before I took a deep breath in, my head never moving from its nest of safety.
“Okay. Okay.” I pulled my head up, looking straight ahead. “That video wasn’t the full reason I was up on the roof that day. It played a part. In fact I played a huge part but I could deal with it, all the bullying and name calling, I mean sure it was hurtful and it’s all that videos fault my family hate me and my church abandoned me but I’m not weak.” I turned to Max, she was listening intently and clearly wanted to understand and help. My eyes traced up her face until we locked eyes.
“I’m gay, Max.” Max’s eyes turned ever more soft and caring, she moved her and from my back to my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“Is that why? Is that the reason you didn’t want to be here?” Max’s voice was full of understanding, it comforted me strangely.
“No.” I replaced my head into my hands “Before that, me and Brooke were together. For two years. I-I really thought we were going to last until the end of time.” I was crying again “I loved her, I knew my parents would never approve. I’ve been told the lecture so many times from my mother. ‘It’s against Gods way’ and ‘Why do you think the combination of male and female makes offspring?’ I just wish she’d understand. I didn’t ask to be this way…” I felt the rage build inside me.
“I just want to be normal!” My voice raised so loud I startled myself, I was really crying now, big deep sobs. “I didn’t ask to be this way.” I said again, softer “I just want to be normal.” I gave up, I felt defeated I was done. I sat on Max’s couch and bawled for what felt like ever and through it all Max was her sweet caring self, rubbing my back and holding me until I was tired out.
“You are normal, Kate. You’re a role model student and have a great relationship with God, you’re sweet, kind-hearted and beautiful.” I let Max hold me longer, until she broke the silence.
“So, I’m sorry to ask but it may help me to help you.” Max broke the silence “Why did you and Brooke break up if you had such a good relationship?”
“The video. Dana showed her it, she didn’t even know we dated, no one did. No one does. Brooke said she felt like she couldn’t trust me anymore and that I had lost my faith. Which in all honesty, she didn’t even care about my faith. That was one of the reasons I liked her so much, she let me be me and allowed me to pray respectfully, sometimes I would force her to accompany me to church on Sundays… As my friend. My church here in Arcadia is very anti-gay…” I trailed off “Brooke felt she couldn’t trust me anymore because of that stupid video. It cost me my family, my church and my relationship, and I don’t ever remember it happening!”
“Don’t worry, Kate. I don’t judge you for this, the video wasn’t your fault. I’ll have a word with Brooke.” She patted my back reassuringly “I’m going with her and Warren to the drive in this Saturday, I’ll speak with her then.”
“Thank you, Max.”
Suddenly the door was bust open “HEYO! Maxi-pad you rea-“The blue-haired girl standing in the door way’s face completely dropped. She was holding keys and a pack of cigarettes in one hand and an open bottle of beer in the other. “Oh… Um… I’ll wait outside.” She grinned sheepishly backing out of the room, but with no hands to close the door, it stayed open.
“Sorry about that, Kate.” Max chuckled “That,” she raised her voice “was just my uncultured punk friend, Chloe, who is incapable of being quiet and considerate.”
“It’s okay, Max. She seems like quite the handful” I said standing and walking out the door catching Chloes eyes as she attempted to light a cigarette while opening the window at the end of the corridor.
“Oh she is.” I heard Max mumble as she beckoned Chloe into her room.