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“Ba-aad!” Skeppy drew out his name, already impatient when he’d only joined the voice channel a second ago. “Get on minecraft!”
“I’m getting on it,” Bad said.
“Get on it faster.”
“Oh my goodness, I’m going as fast as I can!”
Skeppy giggled, and Bad made one of those whistly sigh noises that made Skeppy’s face feel warm, because he was pretty sure it meant Bad thought he was cute. That was the danger of filming with Bad; the line they walked between performing for the camera and actually flirting. At least, that’s how it felt to Skeppy. He could never be sure if Bad really felt the same, because he seemed to have an easier time staying on the right side of that line.
“Okay, I’m here! What do you want?”
“Hi Bad!” Skeppy chirped, sounded perfectly calm and happy despite his whining a moment before. “You’re recording, right?”
“Um, yeah. You said you wanted to film a video?”
“Perfect.” Skeppy punched him in the game, and Bad squawked, then made angry noises that were only half words.
“You’re it!” Skeppy giggled as he ran off towards the dark oak forest they had spawned next to, and Bad quickly gave chase.
“I’m gonna get you for that you little—”
“Little what?” Skeppy tried to egg him on.
“Little—ragamuffin!”
Skeppy groaned in frustration, crouching down to hide behind a tree. See, what Bad didn’t know was that this wasn’t just a normal trolling video. In this video, his goal was to get Bad to swear. He wasn’t sure if it was going to work, since he’d tried before to no avail, but he had a few tricks up his sleeve this time that he hoped would help.
And, even if he couldn’t publish the video in the end, he sort of wanted to see if he could make Bad do it, for his own curiosity, not just for clout. Call it a test of priorities: clean language or his best friend?
Their game of tag quickly turned into a game of hide-and-seek in which Skeppy waited for the perfect moments to jump out and scare Bad, hitting him and declaring him “it” multiple times. Between the jumpscares and ranting about how Skeppy wasn’t following the rules of the game, Bad sounded pretty worked up. Was he worked up enough to swear, though? It didn’t seem like it.
Time to try a new tactic.
“Alright, alright, new game,” Skeppy said. “I’m thinking of a word, and you have to guess it.”
“Uh. Okay?” Bad stopped chasing him, which was good, because now they were in a plains biome and there weren’t many places to hide. Bad had somehow made himself wooden tools in the course of their chase, and started killing the sheep and cows around for food.
Skeppy, meanwhile, had put himself in creative a couple times to spawn food into his inventory so he could keep sprinting. Bad didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t say anything. He was pretty used to letting Skeppy get away with that sort of stuff, after filming so many videos together.
“Okay. I’m thinking of a word that… rhymes with bit.”
“Uh, hit? Wit? Mitt?” Bad started listing them off.
“No, no, no. It also starts with uhhh… the same sound as the beginning of what these are called.” Skeppy hit one of the sheep.
“So it starts with she and ends with it?”
“Yeah! Sort of. You almost got it.” Skeppy tried to restrain his giggles, though the sound kept bubbling up as Bad hummed like he was trying to solve a complex math equation.
“Come on. It’s so obvious!” Skeppy said.
“I don’t know, I can’t think of anything.” Bad sighed dramatically. “Oh! I know. Is it Schmidt?”
“What? That’s not a word.”
“Yes it is! It’s a name.”
“Okay, well, you’re wrong. That’s not what I was thinking of.”
“Then what were you thinking of?”
Skeppy groaned. He couldn’t say it. Bad would just “language” him and get all upset and stop cooperating.
“Fine, okay, whatever. New word,” Skeppy said. Bad didn’t seem to be paying too much attention to him, though. He’d put down a crafting table and his character was staring at it.
“Hey! Are you listening?” Skeppy jumped up onto the crafting table, and just as Bad equipped the leather helmet he’d been making, he looked up at him with a little noise of surprise.
“Oh my goodness. Skeppy! You’re on the—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got on the crafting table for you.” Skeppy rolled his eyes, and Bad giggled, amused in a way that told Skeppy he definitely knew what it meant, even if he pretended not to.
“Awww, I love you too, Skeppy!” he said.
“That’s not—” Skeppy laughed too hard, cutting himself off, then sighed and shook his head. “Whatever! Listen to my riddle, okay?”
“Okay, okay.” Bad crouched, and Skeppy crouched too, getting right up in his face so his whole computer screen was just Bad’s black void of a face and his beady white eyes.
“What word starts with an F and rhymes with duck?”
There was a beat of silence, and then a small chuckle from Bad.
“That’s easy Skeppy.” He stood up and jumped away, punching the air excitedly. “Firetruck!”
“No! Oh my god.” Skeppy slammed his desk, then hung his head in his hands.
“What? That’s the answer, right? Isn’t it?” Bad got all in his face again, crouching and walking in circles around Skeppy’s unmoving character.
“Whatever. I’m done with you.” Skeppy started running in a random direction, and Bad followed, acting confused and dismayed.
“Skeppy? What did I do wrong? I solved your riddle, right?”
“No! You didn’t!” Skeppy stopped running and looked back at him. “You know what you were supposed to say!”
Bad laughed a little too knowingly, then said in a lower voice: “Skeppy, you know I’m not gonna say that.”
“Why not!?” Skeppy whined.
“Because!”
“Because why? Why can’t you just say it one time?” Skeppy made his voice small and cute and sad. “For me? Pretty please?”
“No, oh my goodness.” Bad laughed and probably rolled his eyes, from the sound of it. “I am not gonna say it. No means no, Skeppy.”
“Not gonna say what?” Skeppy played dumb for a second, and Bad laughed even harder.
“Skeppy! That’s not gonna work!” Bad punched Skeppy in game, and Skeppy ran away towards the ocean at the edge of the plains biome.
“Why do you hate me…” he pouted, drawing out his words so it sounded like he’d begun to cry.
“What? No, Skeppy. I don’t hate you.”
“If you loved me you’d say fuck for me.” He crouched, looking up at Bad pleadingly.
“Language! What? How does that make any sense?”
“You don’t love me!” Skeppy cried, and walked his character right into the ocean.
“Skeppy! What the—yes I do!” Bad followed, but stayed closer to the surface so he wasn’t in as much danger of drowning.
“Then say it!” Skeppy said.
“I’m not gonna say it!”
Skeppy wailed like a toddler throwing a tantrum, and at last he ran out of breath in the game, his health starting to tick down as he drowned.
“Skeppy! Don’t drown you muffin—”
“You don’t love me…” Skeppy sniffled, then screamed like he was actually in pain when his character died, his items exploding out into the water, while Bad immediately collected the XP from being near to him.
“You let me die!” Skeppy shrieked.
“No I didn’t! You did it yourself!”
“You wouldn’t say it!”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Skeppy sobbed, exaggerating his hurt, and closed out of minecraft, refusing to respawn.
“Just say you hate me,” he said, and left the voice channel he was in with Bad. As soon as he was out of it, he started giggling, imagining how flabbergasted Bad must be right then, and how fun it would be to have his reaction for the video.
“Oh man,” he said to no one but his recording set up. “I almost feel bad. Not really, but—almost.”
Bad moved himself to Skeppy’s voice channel then, and Skeppy bit his lip to keep himself from laughing.
“Skeppy come back! And stop saying I hate you, I don’t hate you! That’s so mean,” he said, a watery edge to his own voice.
“So you’re gonna say it, then?” Skeppy asked, and he grinned as he heard Bad’s frustrated sputters.
“No, I’m not gonna—why are you still stuck on that?” he said. “Can’t we just play together like normal? Why do you want me to swear so bad anyways?”
“Because I need it, Bad.” Skeppy’s whiny voice got lower, less sad and more, well, needy. Bad grumbled, and Skeppy restrained a chuckle. He could only imagine how his words were affecting the other. He wished he could see his cheeks growing red and his glasses slipping down his nose.
“You are so… strange, Skeppy.”
“He hates me!” Skeppy wailed dramatically, and once again moved himself from Bad’s channel. Bad tried to follow, starting to say that he doesn’t hate him, but Skeppy kept moving himself until finally Bad gave up. Skeppy giggled and started to reload minecraft. It’d be pretty funny to silently communicate through signs for a little while.
When he rejoined the game, he was back at spawn, though, and had no idea where Bad was. They’d gotten pretty far away in their games.
Where r u he typed in the chat, then put himself in creative mode so he could fly around and look more easily.
One sec Bad responded, and Skeppy read it aloud for the video, expressing exaggerated confusion.
What do u mean one sex? he sent, and then laughed hysterically at his typo.
“I didn’t mean that, I didn’t mean that!” he said for the camera as he frantically corrected himself through several all-caps messages.
Bad just responded with a classic “o-0 ” and Skeppy gave up trying to find him for a minute because he was laughing too hard.
Are you flirting with me? Bad asked, and Skeppy sputtered in shock and confusion, before finally giving up and re-joining Bad’s voice channel.
“You know what I meant!” he yelled. “Now where are you? Why won’t you tell me?”
“Mn. You’ll see.” Bad giggled mischievously.
“No. What are you doing? I’m trolling you, okay, you don’t get to troll me,” Skeppy said.
“Who says I’m trolling you?”
“Then what’s with that he-he-he?” Skeppy mocked his laughter, which got Bad to genuinely chuckle.
“That is not what I sound like, Skeppy,” he said.
“Is too. Oh! There you are! I see you!” Skeppy finally spotted Bad’s character, still by the beach where Skeppy died, and he seemed to be building something.
“No, no, no, not yet!” Bad yelled, his voice cracking.
“What, why not?”
“It’s a surprise! Just give me, like, one more minute.”
“Ugh, fine.” Skeppy rolled his eyes and turned around, landing his character back in the plains biome and putting himself back in survival mode. “You’re not gonna troll me, right?”
“No, no. You’ll like this Skeppy, trust me.”
Skeppy gasped.
“Are you gonna say fuck?”
“No!”
“Are you spelling fuck with blocks? That doesn’t really count.”
“No! And—language! Oh my goodness. Why are you still on that?”
“Because…” Skeppy’s voice got small again. “I just think if you loved me you would say it.”
“That makes no sense.”
“It doesn’t have to make sense, Bad, it’s love.”
Bad was quiet for a moment then, and Skeppy gulped, realizing he might have said that in a bit less of a joking tone than he meant.
“What kind of love?” Bad asked, equally quiet and serious, and Skeppy felt the blood drain from his face.
This was a bit too much for a video, but they both knew that. This wasn’t meant for the video, it was meant for them. It was a genuine question, and yet, one Skeppy knew he couldn’t answer. It made his head spin just to think about it.
“Okay! I’m ready,” Bad said after a minute, his voice all chipper again, and Skeppy cleared his throat, getting back into filming mode, too.
“This better not be some kind of trap,” Skeppy said as he walked over the ridge and down onto the beach. Bad was crouching and uncrouching next to his creation, letting out a bunch of small, excited giggles as Skeppy got close. It looked like a heart-shape made from wood in various colors and textures, at the base of which was a crafting table and a few signs.
“What is this supposed to be?” Skeppy asked.
“You can’t tell?”
“Uh… well, it’s like a heart, right?”
“Yeah! Have you read the sign?”
“I’m getting to it, geez.” Skeppy cleared his throat and zoomed in on the signs. “I heart you, Skeppy. If you heart me too, stand on the crafting table with me!?” His voice rose in pitch as his cheeks rose in color, and Bad giggled, already hopping up onto the bench.
“See I don’t hate you Skeppy, I love you!” Bad said, announcing the words so freely and easily. Skeppy was dumbstruck for a moment, and then backed away, sputtering and confused.
“What, oh my god—Bad, what?”
“Aww. You don’t love me too?”
“Not like that!” Skeppy yelled.
“Like what?” Bad sounded so innocent, so ignorant, but Skeppy knew he knew. He was one hundred percent aware of exactly what he was doing to him, and Skeppy hated it, because it was working. His heart was beating hard and his face was hot and he was stumbling all over his words.
He needed to take back control of this situation.
“If I stand on the crafting table, will you say fuck?”
“What? No! I shouldn’t have to bribe you, you should just do it because you love me…” Bad’s voice got all small and watery. He knew how to force some tears for the camera, too.
“Obviously I love you Bad, I shouldn’t have to stand on the crafting table to prove that,” Skeppy said, using his own logic against him.
Bad hopped down from the table and crouched, walking slowly and sadly towards Skeppy.
“Oh… I guess that’s true… I just thought… You’d show me that you care…” He said, the words strung out with a pitiful whine.
Skeppy sighed and put his head in his hand for a moment. Why did this idiot have such an effect on him?
“Fine. I’ll stand on the stupid crafting table.”
He hopped up, and Bad giggled as he followed, his tears immediately wiped away.
“Yay! Skeppy loves me,” he said, his voice all soft and sweet, and Skeppy’s cheeks burned even hotter. There was no way he was going to use this video now, it was far too much to post.
“There, I did your stupid thing. Now will you please swear for me?” He hopped down from the crafting table.
Bad sighed, putting his voice back in a normal tone.
“Why do you care so much?”
“I don’t know.” Skeppy spoke naturally, too. “I just wanna know what it would take for you to do it, I guess. And if you won’t do it for me , then like… what else?”
“Skeppy…” Bad sounded close to caving, and Skeppy leaned towards his computer, surprised that this was actually working. “Can you stop recording? I’ll do it if… if you don’t post it.”
“Okay. Deal.” Skeppy went into his recording program, fully intending to do it, but then hesitated. How would Bad even know? And if he really could get him to do it, it would make such a great clickbait title…
“Okay, it’s off,” he said, returning to Minecraft.
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Bad took a deep breath. He was silent for a long moment, and then, just when Skeppy was about to ask if he was still up for it, he spoke.
“Fuck you, Skeppy.”
“No way you guys! He actually did it!” Skeppy stood up, he was so surprised, and he nearly tore his headset off. He didn’t, though, and he could hear Bad’s terror at his reaction.
“Skeppy. Skeppy, you said you weren’t recording—please tell me you weren’t recording—”
Skeppy sat back down, smirking to himself that his little trick worked.
“I’m just kidding, I wasn’t.”
“Oh thank god!” Bad let out a wheeze of a sigh, and Skeppy genuinely felt a little bad for making him think he’d actually lied.
“I wouldn’t do that to you, man,” he said. “I get it—er, I mean. I don’t exactly get it, but I understand that it’s important to you and stuff, so. Yeah. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Awww. Thank you, Skeppy.”
Skeppy smiled, feeling heat in his cheeks again and moved to log out of minecraft.
“W-well. Anyways. That video’s probably unsalvageable now,” he said, feeling jittery from being so open with Bad.
“Yeah, but, I still had fun playing with you,” Bad said. “Didn’t you?”
Skeppy licked his lips. For as difficult as it was to find the line between friendship and flirting when they were filming, sometimes he thought he was even worse when they weren’t recording. When it was just the two of them and suddenly everything felt so sincere.
Still, he couldn’t lie.
“Of course, Bad,” he said. “I always do.”