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You & me, forever & ever! Love, Freddy.
Sometimes, Bonnie thought of taking down the poster on which those words were scrawled upon. Actually, the thought had crossed his mind more often than he'd admit. But he could never bring himself to do it.
He didn't know where the others were right now. Probably in the arcade; he'd overheard Chica talking about going there, and the rest of the group seemed to agree.
Bonnie had peeked around a corner, watching from a distance as they headed in the direction of the arcade. He considered joining them; they'd let him tag along, but they would never invite him. He'd always have to ask first. And he already knew what would happen; they would go to Fazer Blast, or Mazercise, or Gator Golf, or Roxy Raceway, or anywhere besides his own room or Bonnie Bowl. They would all play and hang out together.
Correction, the other four would play and hang out together. When he tried to add to the conversation, he would be acknowledged briefly, if he was lucky, and then the others would continue talking, not leaving room for him to speak. They all seemed to get along so well, and he was just a thorn in their side.
He'd try his best to pretend he was having fun, because he was with the people he loved the most. And he'd try his best to pretend how their ignorance didn't feel like knives being stabbed into festering wounds.
It was the way all their interactions went nowadays.
So instead of joining them, Bonnie had returned to his green room, knowing he had a show to practise for tomorrow. But here he was, lying on the couch, staring at the bass guitar he hadn't touched all night.
Everywhere around his room, there were little reminders of them. A black-and-white chequered flag from Roxy Raceway, a pair of star-shaped sunglasses from Monty, one of Chica's old bows, as well as all manner of merchandise depicting the animatronics.
And the poster of Freddy, which the animatronic bear had signed himself.
He stood up from the couch to look at the poster better. Freddy's beaming face and the words written upon it seemed to taunt him.
A sudden burst of rage shot through his systems.
Without thinking, Bonnie leapt up on the couch and tore through the poster with his metal claws.
He immediately jumped back down, his anger dissipating and quickly being replaced with shock.
No, no, no. Stupid rabbit, why did you do that?
He'd sliced through the poster quite cleanly. The image of Freddy and the words he'd written were torn apart by the slash marks, ribbons of paper hanging freely off the wall.
You destroyed the best memory of the only good thing you have in your life right now. How could you mess this up so badly?
Bonnie curled up on the floor, not for the first time wishing he had the ability to cry. Being able to feel emotions was bad enough; the technicians could've at least implemented a way to let those feelings out.
A Glamrock Freddy plushie lay on the ground. It was old and worn from months of being hugged, stuffing spilling out from tears in the fabric, and one of the plastic eyes had almost fallen off.
He picked it up and held it close to his chest.
*
In the beginning, it was just the three of them. Glamrock Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica. When they weren't busy entertaining children or hosting parties, they'd all hang out together; in each other's green rooms, or their themed attractions. Sometimes they would make food — even though only Chica was programmed to eat, they all had fun anyways — and sometimes they would go to Glamrock Gifts and "borrow" merchandise to keep in their green rooms.
Just like they were doing tonight.
"Aww, look at the plushies they have of us!" Chica exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "They're so cute!"
At the very front of the store, underneath a colourful sign reading, "BRAND NEW GLAMROCK PLUSHIES", was a table filled with stuffed toys resembling the animatronics.
"They are quite adorable," said Freddy.
Chica was grabbing as many plushies as she could hold, squealing in excitement. Freddy and Bonnie merely smiled at her enthusiasm.
"You know, I think I might get one too," said Bonnie.
He went over to the table and picked up a Glamrock Freddy plushie, turning to face the bear.
"Now I can always have you with me."
Freddy's eyes widened for a second, and then he beamed. "That is so nice of you, superstar. And you know I will always be with you, right?"
He walked up to Bonnie, placing his hand where Bonnie's heart would be if he were human.
"Right here."
*
Bonnie didn't know how long he laid on the floor, hugging the Freddy plushie.
What I wouldn't give to be held by the real thing.
He considered trying to find him. Maybe a hug from Freddy would help him believe that everything was alright. That his friends really did care about him, and he was just overreacting.
He doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You don't deserve his comfort.
Bonnie curled up even tighter on himself. He wanted Freddy's comfort, more than anything. Even a hug from Chica, Monty, or Roxy would be just fine. But would they even give one to him?
Freddy had said he would always be in Bonnie's heart.
But how could that be possible when his heart was broken to pieces?
*
"Bonnie!"
Bonnie turned at the sound of Freddy's voice.
"Yeah, what is it?"
Freddy was walking towards him, with what seemed to be a large rolled-up piece of paper tucked under his arm.
"I brought this for you, superstar," he said, and held out the rolled-up paper to Bonnie.
Somewhat curiously, Bonnie unrolled the paper, realising it to be a poster. The image was of Glamrock Freddy singing on the show stage, holding a microphone with the spotlights shining down on him. And written on the poster in white marker was a message.
Bonnie’s eyes widened as he read the words Freddy had written. " 'You and me… forever and ever. Love, Freddy.' Do you really mean that?"
Freddy looked slightly sheepish as he spoke. "I, um, hope you like it. I have a lot of these posters in my room, and— well, I thought you would like something from me to keep in your room. Something personal. I know it is not much, but—"
He was cut off by Bonnie wrapping his arms around him in a hug.
"Thank you."
Freddy, while slightly shocked, returned the hug. "It is no problem. Just a small token of my appreciation for you."
There were several beats of silence, although it was not uncomfortable, as the two animatronics remained in each other's embrace.
"Hey, Freddy?"
"Yes?"
"Is that true?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is what you wrote on the poster true? That we'll be together… forever and ever?"
Freddy pulled away from Bonnie, smiling brightly, and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Of course it is true. It has been us since the beginning. I will never leave you, Bonnie."
*
Turns out that he and Freddy had a different definition of "forever".
Bonnie didn't quite know where he was going. He just needed to go anywhere but his room.
The Pizzaplex was closed, and the building was empty except for the S.T.A.F.F bots. The others must still be in the arcade, or in some other attraction.
They didn't care about him. Of course they didn't care about him. He would be with them right now if they did. He wouldn't have felt the need to tear the poster, or wander around aimlessly like this.
Lost in his own thoughts, Bonnie didn't notice Freddy walking towards him.
"Oh, Bonnie! Hello there! I was wondering where you were!"
Bonnie looked up quickly, head swivelling towards the sound.
"Oh, um, hi Freddy," he said, hoping his voice sounded normal.
"You should be in your room, right? Why are you wandering around at this hour?"
Bonnie fought the urge to ask why Freddy wasn't in his room, even though he knew the reason. Instead he replied with, "I just… needed some fresh air."
"You do realise we are not equipped with lungs or respiratory systems, right?"
Bonnie chuckled. "I know. But it's nice to get out sometimes, isn't it?"
"I suppose you are right," said Freddy, smiling slightly. "It is nice to not be cooped up in our green rooms all the time."
"Well, I'd better get going, don't want to bother you—"
"Wait," said Freddy, and Bonnie was slightly taken aback. "Are you okay? I am sorry if I am being intrusive, but you have been… avoiding us a lot recently."
You guys are the ones who have been avoiding me. You've been avoiding me ever since Monty and Roxy showed up. I only pretended to not notice all that because I was so happy to have new friends. I was genuinely making good memories and now everything's been ruined. Every interaction hurts now because you all treat me like I'm not there. So tell me what I've done to make you all so upset with me. Tell me what I can do to feel valued again.
But all Bonnie said was, "Nah, I'm fine."
Freddy tilted his head slightly in disbelief, but then waved his hand as if dismissing the situation. "Alright, then. You can talk to me whenever you want."
He turned and walked away, disappearing down a corridor.
That's a lie. Freddy and all the others only talk to me if I'm alone with one of them. As soon as someone else shows up, suddenly no one pays attention to me. If he really did care about me, he would've asked a lot sooner. He would have realised he's the problem.
No, that was a bad thing to think about. Freddy wasn't the problem. It's not like he was bullying or teasing Bonnie. He just wanted new friends to be with. Bonnie must've done something to make Freddy and the others not want to be with him.
Bonnie was always the problem.
*
About a year after the opening of the Pizzaplex, Monty and Roxy came along.
Fazbear Entertainment, always wanting more revenue, had decided they needed animatronics that would appeal to teenagers and older kids. And so a few months later, Monty and Roxy were created and added to the band.
The other three animatronics welcomed them with open arms. The five of them would hang out after-hours just the same. The new attractions, Gator Golf and Roxy Raceway, opened up more opportunities for fun to be had and memories to be made.
It was a wonderful group to be a part of, Bonnie would think. He loved having so many friends he could rely on, who would listen to him and talk and laugh together.
He didn't remember ever being this happy. The children were great fun to talk to and bowl with, and he had a whole friend group to hang out with when the children left.
It hadn't taken long, maybe a couple of months, for things to change.
Bonnie couldn't help but notice that the other four seemed a lot closer to each other than he was. It sort of made sense to him; he'd been somewhat hesitant to interact with Monty and Roxy. Not because he thought they were mean or cruel. They could just be a bit… much, at times. Bonnie had tried to be friendly, but they seemed somewhat cold towards him.
At first, he thought nothing of it. They were probably trying to get used to their new environment, and he didn't blame them for being uncomfortable with him.
But Monty and Roxy seemed to get along well with Freddy and Chica, who were supposed to be his friends. Well, no, he shouldn't think like that. Freddy and Chica could be friends with whoever they wanted. It wasn't his place to decide.
A selfish part of him wished it was.
He told himself that everything was fine. The things he was worrying about were small things. Like always getting the last pick of what colour golf ball he wanted at Gator Golf, or when his ideas for what toppings to put on the pizza they were making were ignored, or the fact that Monty and Roxy hoarded merchandise of everyone else except him.
The important thing was that he was having a good time. And these people were his friends! They'd never intentionally do anything to hurt him.
So why did it make him so sad?
Maybe his sadness was his own fault. After all, recently he hadn't really spoken to the others or participated in their activities, so of course they'd assume he didn't want to join in.
He ignored the fact that the reason he'd stopped participating in the first place was because of being left out.
*
Bonnie would sometimes overhear the staff talking about how the food in the Pizzaplex had "expiration dates". After its expiration date, the food wouldn't be good to eat anymore, so no one would want it, and it had to be thrown out.
While he'd never heard of expiration dates for things other than food, he wondered if this applied to animatronics as well.
Maybe his expiration date was coming up soon.
He found himself walking into Gator Golf, greeted by the swampy, dark-green tones of the area. Bonnie had heard somewhere that green was supposed to be a calming colour. It wasn't working.
How many times had he been here, finding himself running to catch up to the others as they moved on to the next hole without him, not hearing them cheer as loudly when he managed to putt his ball in, having to squeeze into the group hug at the end because no one ever made room for him?
There were too many bad memories in this area. But there were bad memories everywhere else.
The only good memories he really had nowadays was when he'd talk to the children, and play bowling with them. At least they would talk to him, and make him feel appreciated. But it wasn't the same; those children loved the persona he put up to entertain, not the real him. It was only after-hours that he could drop his act and be himself with his friends. Except his friends didn't seem to want to be with any versions of him.
Bonnie looked up at the criss-cross maze of catwalks above him.
It seemed like a good place to go.
*
"Look at that," said Monty, pointing at a security bot.
The bot, instead of doing regular sweeps around the area like it was supposed to, kept rolling back and forth over a short distance.
"Someone really needs to get those bots fixed," said Roxy. "It seems like a lot of them have been acting up lately. Remember that server bot from the ice cream parlour in Bonnie Bowl?"
"Oh yeah!" said Chica. "I kept telling it my order, and it wouldn't do anything! Eventually I had to go behind the counter and get the ice cream myself!"
They all chuckled at the memory, but Bonnie was confused.
"I don't remember this. When did this happen?"
"Last night," Freddy told him.
"Last night? But I was in my green room."
"Yeah, you weren't there when it happened," said Roxy.
Bonnie stopped in his tracks. "Wait… what? You went to Bonnie Bowl without me?"
"We did," said Monty. "What's the big deal?"
"No, no, I don't get it. You didn't invite me to hang out with you in my own attraction?"
"Well, I mean," Chica began hastily, "we just… you know, figured you might be busy!"
"It was a Sunday night. None of us are busy those nights," said Bonnie, rounding on them. "We don't have performance rehearsals. You knew that. You all knew that."
"We just thought, uhh… you wanted some… alone time," said Roxy, faltering.
Bonnie took several quick paces forward. "Oh, really? Alone time? As if I haven't been getting enough of that recently."
"Bonnie, please calm down," said Freddy.
"How am I supposed to calm down? You went to Bonnie Bowl without me!"
"Sounds like someone's just jealous," Monty said snarkily.
"Why wouldn't I be?!"
"We'll invite you next time, we promise," said Chica. "We're really sorry. But you know, since you spend so much time in your attraction every day, we didn't think you'd want to be with us—"
"That's bullshit," Bonnie snapped, ignoring Freddy's "language."
"I ask you if we should go to Bonnie Bowl all the time, but you always say no, so we go to one of your attractions instead. But when I'm not with you, you finally decide to hang out there, without even asking me to go?!"
"Bonnie, we're your friends." said Roxy. "We never meant to hurt you."
"Well, I definitely feel hurt now."
"It's just a one-time thing, we swear," said Monty.
"No, it isn't! You ignore me all the damn time! While you're all acting buddy-buddy with each other, I just stand there and wait for someone to notice me, but they never do! None of you ever listen to me! So I don't see how you expect me to forgive you."
There was a tense silence as everyone stared at Bonnie, shocked by his outburst. Finally, Freddy spoke up in a quiet voice.
"We do not expect your forgiveness, but—"
"Good. Because you won't get it."
Bonnie turned and stormed off towards his room.
*
He'd never been on the catwalks before, and so didn't realise how high up they were until now.
He couldn't look down for more than a second without panicking so intensely that he felt like he was about to throw up. Shaking, he retreated to the centre of the catwalk, trying to regain his composure.
Bonnie was no stranger to this feeling. He'd experienced it many times before. Seeing his friends go somewhere without him, or start a conversation that didn't include him, would cause him to feel like this.
It was stupid. Why was he brought to the verge of a panic attack every time he saw his friends having fun without him? Why did it hurt, like a stab to the heart, every time? So many nights had been spent alone in his green room, crying (the best he could without functioning tear ducts) over the fact that his friends wouldn't pay attention to him.
He was way too sensitive for his own good.
Eventually, Bonnie's breathing levelled out, and he slowly stood up and walked to the edge of the catwalk. Grabbing the handrail, he peered down into the abyss below.
A strange sort of fog had settled over his mind. The height didn't seem so intimidating anymore.
The void seemed to call to him.
*
"Leave me alone."
"Bonnie, please—"
"I said leave me alone!"
Freddy had been knocking on the door for the past minute, and Bonnie was sick of it. There was no way he was going to let him in. How could he be trusted?
"Superstar—"
"Don't call me that."
"I just want to talk to you, okay? Only for five minutes. I will leave you alone afterwards, I promise."
This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Bonnie was used to locking himself away in his green room for hours. After all, the others couldn't leave him out if he left himself out first.
It was only on some occasions that one of the others would check in on him. It would usually end up being Freddy.
He wanted to be stubborn and not open the door. He wanted so badly to keep his walls up.
But deep inside, he just wanted someone to talk to.
Before he could stop himself, Bonnie crossed the room and opened the door just slightly.
The blue LED eye of Freddy stared at him through the crack, and Bonnie opened the door all the way.
"Fine. Five minutes."
Freddy entered the room, and sat down on the couch, Bonnie sitting next to him.
"Bonnie," Freddy began, "I am truly sorry. We have not been fair to you. We did not realise how cruelly we were treating you—"
"How?" Bonnie cut in. "How could you not notice the way you've been hurting me all this time?"
Freddy avoided the question. "In the future, we will try our best to include you as one of our friends. Because that is what you are. A friend. I regret that you have not felt that way for a long time."
Bonnie didn't answer him, and Freddy took it as a cue to continue speaking.
"I know we have hurt you, but please, give us another chance."
With that, Freddy stood up and left the room.
Bonnie had given them another chance more times than he could count. Every attempt to join in on their activities, talk to them, get their attention. They would fail far too often.
They did not deserve another chance. He couldn't keep hurting himself like this.
*
Nothing had gotten better since that night. It didn't seem like it would ever get better. If anything, the exclusion had gotten worse. No matter how hard he tried, there was no way their friendships could be fixed.
Nobody wants me. I'm worthless to them.
Bonnie wanted that voice to go away.
I will go away very soon. Just carry on with your plan. Unless you're too much of a coward.
No, of course he wasn't a coward. He wouldn't let his friends hurt him anymore. If they didn't want him around, so be it.
Bonnie stood up on the railing, and let himself fall far down below.
*
(Early the next morning, before the Pizzaplex had opened, two technicians would find Bonnie, cracked and broken below the catwalks of Gator Golf.
Confused as to how this would have happened, they would bring Bonnie down to Parts and Service, and discuss the situation with the other technicians.
"Clearly, repairs need to be started as soon as we can," said one of the technicians.
"I'm afraid that's not possible," said the head technician, who had inspected Bonnie closely. "The damage is too extensive. He is beyond repair.")