Work Text:
Yagi was slouched, hunched over in a way that would make anybody worry. As they passed, multiple U.A staff members would bring it to his attention, and he'd fix it, eventually returning to slouching. He had spent the whole day cooped up in his office, Aizawa ever so kindly taking his place in the classroom, whilst he worked mindlessly on paperwork.
Yagi's abdomen churned, and he thickly swallowed, grimacing at the dull pain. Perhaps it was because he was hungry, or maybe because he was sick, he didn't know, nor did he care enough to figure it out. He stood up, the increasingly fragile bones of his knees popping, and let his eyes flutter shut. He stumbled slightly to the side as he briefly lost his balance.
"Yagi-"
"I'm fine." He held up one hand and brought the other to his forehead. “I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm fine,” He mumbles, dropping both of his hands to his sides. Yagi walked over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the teacher's lounge, grabbing a yogurt, and promptly sat back down.
"Dear, that's your fourth yogurt today." Kayama speaks up, her tone full of concern, “and you haven't eaten anything else. You need to…"
Toshinori tuned out the sound of her voice, glancing briefly at the time in the corner of his computer while opening his yogurt. He sighs, scooping a spoonful into his mouth before logging off of his computer. He was tired, his eyes drooping with exhaustion. His apartment was calling to him. With a quiet sigh, Yagi organizes his things into a neat pile, grabs his yogurt, and begins walking towards the door.
"Hey, are you- Yagi-" Kayama frowns. "All Might!" The hero says, stepping in front of him. Toshinori paused and finally looked down at her.
"I'm fine. Let me go home. I'll be better tomorrow." Toshinori said, his voice cold, like a robot that was merely following its programming. He met her eyes only for a brief moment before he redirected his gaze back down.
"You said that last time! If you’re having trouble sleeping, I can use my quirk to help you-"
"I appreciate your concern, Midnight, truly," Toshinori interrupts, side-stepping away from Kayama and pushing the door open. “But I'll be fine."
After the ride up the elevator to his apartment floor, Yagi combs through his keys, his body swaying unsteadily. After a minute of searching and agitated mumbling, he pulled out the key he needed and unlocked the door. He locks the door behind him and throws the empty container of yogurt into the trash.
Toshinori approaches the couch in his living room and plops down with a solemn sigh, letting his eyelids flutter closed. He didn’t bother to turn on the television. He was tired. So, so tired.
But apparently the gods of slumber were out to get him today, as his rest was immediately interrupted. The wooden floorboards creak suddenly under the weight of footsteps, and Yagi twitches, opening his eyes and looking in the direction it came from. A familiar figure stood in the doorway, casting a dim shadow over the living room.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" You blink at him, noting his exhausted demeanor. His hair was lacking in its characteristic fluff, greasy and flat from days of unwashedness. His eyes carried a certain weight that hadn’t been present before. Clothes, wrinkled and stained with drops of tea and ash – presumably from Bakugou. You could read him like a book with a single glance.
"No. No, no, don't worry. I wasn't napping…" He answers, running a thin hand down his bony face.
"Could you… Stop looking at me like that…?" He mumbles, ducking his head in shame at being stared at. Being gawked at like he was a frail animal.
Even with the state his eyes were in normally, he looked far more tired than usual. He turns his head away from you, and you blink. "Are you… Okay?"
Toshinori's chin scrunches; familiar to you, a sign that he was holding back tears.
He wasn't.
He didn't have the heart, nor confidence to tell you, but he didn't need to. You could tell.
"Oh, Toshi…" You croon, walking over to him. You delicately take his hands in yours, yet he doesn't meet your eyes. "Sunflower, it's okay. It's okay. I won't judge you… I know how hard it can be to feel confident when you haven't showered. You can take one now, and you'll feel ten times better, okay? Do you trust me?" You ask him gently, and he slowly looks up at you.
"Can you…" Toshinori's face grows red with embarrassment. "... Help me?" He mumbles under his breath, his cheeks darkening.
"Ohh, of course I can, Toshi…" You coo, carefully lifting him to his feet by pulling his hands. You guide him behind you towards your shared room; he stays hunched, like a meek puppy following you. You gently pat his hand in comfort and let it go, "go find your clothes."
Toshinori hesitates for a few brief moments, blinking at you almost cluelessly. He breathes, making his way over to the closet to comb through the shirts.
Eventually, he meets you by the bathroom door, a small lump of clothes in his hand. You smile gently at him before walking in and setting your clothes aside. He stands in the doorway, like a dog waiting to be commanded.
"Come on, no need to be afraid. There is no judgment here. Put your clothes with mine and I'll get the water ready." You wave him in, watching him slowly walk inside. You turn away from him and shift your attention to the shower, turning the hot water knob.
Toshinori's eyes flickered between you and the running water, watching you begin to turn the cold knob to set the temperature. He breathes slowly, attempting to steady his uneven breaths.
You were helping him.
He couldn't remember the last time he showered.
You wouldn't judge him.
He couldn't remember the last full meal he ate.
You cared for him.
He couldn't remember the last time he brushed his teeth.
You liked him.
He couldn't remember the last time he put on cologne or deodorant.
You loved him.
He couldn't remember the last time he hugged you without worrying about how he smelled.
Toshinori could feel a lump beginning to form in his throat and he does his best to swallow it down. But, before he knows it, tears are welling up in his eyes.
Stars, he was pathetic.
"... Oshi? Toosshhii?" You call for him in a sing-song tone.
Were you trying to get his attention?
He blinks, attempting to rid his tears, and looks down at you.
Toshinori stares at you, blinking cluelessly. "Lost in thought?" You tease him, softly smiling. "I said the water should be ready. You wanna test it?" You step out of the way, watching him step forward.
He rolls up his dress shirt sleeve and sticks his hand into the water. Yagi stares at it blankly, his mind elsewhere than the water hitting his hand. He pulls it out, wiping it on his pants before nodding.
"Good?" You question him.
He nods once again.
"... Do you want help changing?"
Yagi hesitates, his eyes never meeting yours except for a few brief seconds. He ducks his head slightly, nodding yet again.
You take his rolled up sleeve and pull it down, undoing the buttons around the cuff. You bring up his other hand, doing the same. Yagi watches you with partly curious eyes as you remove his tie.
Somehow. Some way. You pet him every night. You pet him to sleep since he confessed to you that it helped him. You pet him every single night without a complaint. Even with him neglecting his hygiene, you still pet him.
You begin to unbutton the front of his shirt, slowly pulling it up and out of his pants.
You never made a negative comment about it. Here you were, helping him. Toshinori Yagi, retired pro-hero, previously the number one hero, needed help just to bathe himself.
"Sunflower…" You croon, slowly removing the dress shirt. "Shh-shh-shh," you shush him, despite him not saying anything. "There, there. You can cry if you need to. You're safe to do that here. As I always tell you, you can cry in front of me."
The tears that were on the edge of his eyes spilled over. He looks away from you, breathing slowly so as to not sob. His breath comes out shaky, but he does his best not to shake as you remove his undershirt.
You were gentle with him. So so gentle. As if one wrong movement could shatter him.
Toshinori felt like a dog. He loved like a dog. He had moments when he didn't take care of himself, but this was his worst. Yet, no matter how bad he was at maintaining his hygiene, he still loved you.
Yagi saw himself like a mutt. A flea ridden mutt. Every time he saw himself in a mirror he felt gross. He was always far too nauseous to eat – what he considered – full meals. He felt dirty. He felt like a failure. A pathetic point for him. He who previously held the title of hero.
A hero. The hero. The symbol of peace.
How did he get so low…?
"Hey, I got you, okay?" You say gently, unbuckling his belt. "You're okay… You're fine here. I am not judging you a single bit. I know what it's like, and I'm here to help you…" You undo his pants, dragging them down.
Toshinori places his hand against a wall, lifting one of his legs. He chokes out a sob, switching his feet.
His tears wouldn't stop. No matter how much he tried, they wouldn't stop. You were far too nice to someone the likes of him.
You let him cry, allowed him to cry, but he was so hung up on trying to stop. Tears were fine, yes, but he was an ugly crier if he sobbed. And, if Yagi thought about it, he never wholeheartedly sobbed in front of you.
He sniffled as you grabbed the waistband of his boxer briefs and paused. "Can I…?" You trail off, looking up at him.
Your look was so gentle, it made his heart melt. Toshinori swallows, nodding slowly before looking away bashfully. He was crying at the moment, yes, but you were also undressing him. What kind of man would he be if he didn't get at least a little flustered at being undressed as slow and gentle as you were doing?
Yagi inhaled, letting out a shaky breath as he watched and aided you in unclothing him completely. He wrung his hands together, attempting to settle his breathing a little.
When you had begun removing your shirt, Toshinori chokes out a small noise and looks the other direction. You look at him, huffing out a laugh before you move on to your pants. You slowly shake your head, smiling gently as you remove your briefs.
He had always been that shy when it had come to intimate and close actions. It only made you love him more.
Plus, the way he apologized for his soft sensual noises was cute. But this wasn't the time to dwell on the sexual side of your relationship.
Toshinori was delicate at the moment. Almost as frail as glass. If you mentioned it to him, he… Well, you wouldn't know what he'd say, but it would probably be along the lines of taking a shower by himself.
You briefly shake your head, clearing your thoughts. "Toshi…" You call for him, noticing him jump slightly. "Come on, Sunflower…" You coo, taking his hand.
He follows your lead into the shower, shutting the door behind the two of you. You turn him towards the shower head and grab onto his upper arms.
Toshinori, noticing your grasp changing and what it meant, slowly sits down on the small stool. Your arms were always just a little too short to reach his shoulders, so he got accustomed to you using his arms instead.
You lean in close to his ear, "I got you, sweetheart…" You caress his shoulders gently before moving up to his hair.
Toshinori closes his eyes, leaning his head back slightly to let the water hit his face. He always got gross when he cried, and the least he could do to help you was to at least clean his face.
With you running your fingers through his hair and gently scratching his scalp, Yagi breathed and allowed himself to relax. He knew he was tired, but he didn't know he was this tired. If the water wasn't so loud, he could probably sleep like this.
Before Yagi knew it, you were putting shampoo onto his hair, and he shut his eyes accordingly. He yawns, attempting to keep his mouth closed; your hands felt so nice. So gentle. So tender.
The two of you had only showered once before, but it had been Yagi that had helped. It felt… Nice being cared for. Obviously, you always cared for him, especially when petting him to sleep, but like this. When you asked him if he ate, what he wanted to eat, how his day was, if he was comfortable with a hug… Being cared for, romantically. Loved.
It wasn't something he was used to, but oh Stars did he love it.
Toshinori hums pleasantly as you tilt his head back into the water to rinse his hair. With the pause of your hands on his head beforehand, he guessed you had shampooed your own hair; he was just distracted to notice it.
You noticed his hair was relatively long at this point. With him not being able to find the time to get a proper haircut, he just let it grow for the time being. It wasn't anything too different, just a little past his shoulders. But his hair length didn't matter, he was still Toshi. It was nice to run your fingers through his hair and hear him hum pleasantly.
His noises were nice to hear. They didn't have to be sexual, it was just nice to listen to him. The way he hummed music you didn't know, his breathing when he was asleep, the way he happily said your name… All of it. All his sounds, words, sputters, everything.
You switch to the conditioner, smiling as Toshi hums with content.
It wasn't sexual, it didn't have to be. His voice, his noises, were just nice to hear.
He tended to be timid and quiet when he showed you affection, or when you showed him. Love… Wasn't something he was used to.
Toshinori knew about the people who fawned over him when he was All Might. He knew about the people in Might Tower who even fawned over his true form. But he didn't have time for it. All Might was far too busy as a hero and Toshinori was far too busy as his assistant, with both sides of him being busy later on as a teacher.
You pat his shoulders before grabbing a bar of soap and a loofah.
Yet now that he was retired, things narrowed down to just himself, as Yagi, and working at U.A, it was more manageable. You helped if he was ever overwhelmed with paperwork, if he needed advice, if he needed help organizing, all of it.
You make your way from his shoulders down his arms.
Toshinori didn't know how to put it into words, but you've heard him say 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' countless times. He didn't need to, you already knew how grateful he was.
You go up to his shoulders again to go down his back.
Yagi was a man that you loved. And he loved you the same. What better way of showing your admiration to him than helping him get back up on his feet?
You grab his upper arms and lift them, going from his hand down the length of it to his upper ribs.
Toshinori twitched slightly when you switched to his left side. You pause just before his scar and he breathes.
Shit.
He was crying again.
"I'm sorry…" He mutters, barely audible over the running water. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He repeats, slipping his hand out of your grasp to hug himself.
You lean in close to his ear, hands on his shoulders. "Hey, I got you, remember…? And if you don't feel comfortable with me doing it, then you can do it." You offer him the loofah, smiling empathetically when he looks at it.
He grabs it from you, plus the bar of soap, and slowly stands up. Your hands slip from his shoulders and you back away.
Toshinori turns around and blinks at you, ducking uncomfortably beneath the shower head.
"Here, switch." You laugh lightly as he breathes a relieved sigh. The two of you switch, carefully in the tight space.
You look at Toshinori, glancing down ever so briefly.
Yagi's face grows flushed as he covers up his business; he blinks at you again, like a waiting dog. "... Could you…?" He trails off, motioning his free hand in a circle.
You turn around, grabbing the shower head to tilt it down. You busy yourself with applying conditioner, listening to Toshi's sniffles. It broke your heart hearing him cry. It was something he did few and far between, but he trusted you to cry in your arms.
You're a little upset at yourself for not noticing his condition sooner. Being stuck in an exhausting cycle of mundaneness and negative thinking. You had been there a few times before, and it had only gotten this bad once.
You shut your eyes and begin to rinse the conditioner out of your hair.
You couldn't help but relate to him. How he was so tired but stuck in a cycle. It took a while, but you finally broke that repetitive routine. It hurt to imagine someone as great as him was struggling through the same awfulness of self-doubt as any person would.
No. Don't say that. Toshinori is his own person. Yes, he was All Might before, and a piece of him lives on through Toshi, but he wouldn't want you holding him to such a high degree.
You wipe your eyes free of water, just in time for him to tap on your shoulder. You turn slightly, smiling softly as a ‘thank you’ before you grab the soap and loofah from him.
Toshinori stands still for a few moments, not thinking of anything, before grabbing the shower head and tilting to him. Right, he needed to rinse.
Maybe thinking about nothing was one step in the right direction? Overwhelming thoughts of doubt had gotten him in this mess to begin with… Though, thinking about nothing made him feel like he was also wasting his life.
Baby steps. He had to take baby steps. Toshinori couldn't bounce back from a place so low like he was All Might… The two of them were still the same person, yes, but he couldn't bring himself to be like that molded image he made.
No. It was unrealistic. Even before his injury, he had cried. He had cried when Nana had to sacrifice her life. He had cried every year on her death date. He had cried when he killed All for One. He had cried when there were people out there he couldn't save. He cried over that so many times. He cried over All for One being back. He cried when Dave had sacrificed his life as a scientist just to get him back into shape. He cried in the hospital after Kamino. He cried when Nighteye died right before his eyes.
There were so many things he cried about. So many different things, of varying weights.
Losing someone in his arms. Not being able to rescue someone's pet. People not recognizing him when his true form wasn't known. Seeing a dead pet or stray on the road. Mean comments from people on the internet.
Toshinori viewed himself as weak for the simple things he cried over.
He cried just because the store didn't have his comfort food once: meat buns.
How embarrassing was that?
Toshinori wasn't All Might. He wasn't the image of All Might. That image that he built over the course of his hero career.
But he was All Might. Deep down. In his heart, his soul, his very blood… Even if he was quirkless.
Aura Might was in his true form, wasn't he? Midoriya had told him that several times. That cemented the idea that he and All Might were the same, in a way.
“... You doing okay?” You ask him. He was just standing under the showerhead, staring at the wall.
Toshinori begins to nod, pausing to think, before continuing to nod, slowly, as if he was unsure.
“Well, it's okay to not be fine… You know that, right?” You question him gently; he meets your eyes, nodding.
You look at him for a few brief moments, tears pooling in his eyes. He breaks eye contact to blink them away.
“I'm gonna…” He mumbles, tilting the shower head down to you. The man wrings the water from his hair before scooting past you to exit the shower.
You watch his blurred form grab a towel, immediately gently patting at his scar. At least he was gentle with himself.
You sigh softly, rinsing the soap from your body. Part of you wished he had stayed, helping you… His hands, long and soft, gently pressing into your skin. In a romantic way. In a way that showed that he cared for you. Gentle and reassuring.
But, if anything, he was the one that needed help. And, what it seems like, currently, he wanted some alone time.
You continue rinsing yourself, humming, as you take occasional glances over to Toshinori. He was moving slow, careful and gentle, patting himself to rid the water.
Once finished, you turn off the water, wringing out the water from your hair as best as you could. You exit the shower, blinking as you noticed that Toshi hadn't even begun to clothe himself. No, instead, he was holding out the towel.
He places it on your head, making you shut your eyes, and dries your hair. He was careful, keeping your head as still as possible.
He moves to your shoulders before wrapping the towel around you, allowing you to take it from him. Toshinori smiles softly; that same familiar, tired smile. He moves to put on his clothes, sighing softly.
Toshinori made no attempt to look at you. Not that he wanted to, but the last thing he wanted you to think was that he was looking at your body. As much as he knew that you knew that he wouldn't, he was a gentleman. He gave you space as he dressed himself.
You begin to do the same, watching him as he slips his sweatpants on. It tugged at your heart with how quiet he was; normally, he talked your ear off about his day, excitedly talking about his students, or how he tirelessly worked on paperwork… But he wasn't doing it. Not this time.
Oh, how you wanted to hear his voice. But if he didn't want to speak, you wouldn't force him to.
Toshinori had stood by doorway, staring at the bathroom sink as you got dressed. He waited for you.
You walk up to him, expecting him to walk ahead of you…
No. He wanted you to walk in front of him. He waited.
You give him a sympathetic smile, turning off the bathroom light as you walk past him into the bedroom. Toshinori trails behind you like a puppy.
You crawl into the bed, slipping underneath the covers. He stares at his spot on the bed, waiting for you to get comfortable.
“... Come on.” You laugh lightly, patting the empty spot next to you.
Toshinori climbs into bed, scooting down to settle his head just under your chin. His legs and arms wrap around you, pulling you as close to him as possible.
You hum, placing a hand on his head. You gently pet him, placing your other hand on his back. You run your nails against his scalp and spine, making him arch his back and sigh softly.
“Please…” He mumbles sleepily. “Please keep touching me…” Toshinori closes his eyes, pressing his forehead against you. “... It makes me feel so alive.”