Chapter Text
It was finally winter. The cold air hit Sieun's face as soon as he stepped outside. Today had been average, pretty much like every other — study, study, study. No one had bothered him or even talked to him. All was well.
"You're going to catch a cold like this."
Sieun feels the scarf being wrapped around his neck before seeing the face of the person doing that for him.
Ahn Suho.
"I'm okay," Sieun replied as he tried to take off the scarf. It was soft and smelled just like him. Suho was always nice to him but Sieun knew he probably felt obliged to as his little sister's best friend. Suho caught Sieun’s hands in his, stopping him from removing the scarf.
“Youngyi will kill me if I let you walk in the cold like this,” he smiled. Something warm grew inside Sieun at the sight.
“Then she can come and give me her scarf.” Sieun’s tone was as cold as the air. Youngyi didn’t have to force Suho to do things for him. He was fine on his own anyway. He was about to remove the scarf again and return it when Beomseok, Suho’s friend, came along. Suho’s arm found his friend’s shoulders and Sieun felt a pinch in his heart that he tried to ignore.
“Here, take it back.” Sieun’s words fell into deaf ears. Suho and Beomseok were already walking away. He watched them, feeling like an idiot with the scarf still in his hands.
Instead of going home after the academy, Sieun decided to drop by Yougyi’s house. She had been sick that day and he just wanted to check on her. He would use the opportunity to give Suho’s scarf back at the same time. No big deal.
Sieun stopped by the pharmacy before finding himself in the apartment he now knew like the palm of his hand. He and Yougyi had met two years earlier after she stepped on Yeongbin’s foot and spat on him for bullying Sieun. It was the beginning of Sieun’s first real friendship. When she discovered that her new best friend basically lived alone, she invited him over all the time. This is how their grandmother and Suho also became part of his daily life.
There is no surprise when Grandma opens the door in seconds. She smiles warmly at Sieun and as per usual, asks him about his day. He had felt strange at first, when an adult showed real interest in him, but he was more or less used to it now. He shrugged, immediately helping to wash the dishes without being asked as he told her about his next upcoming exam. She listened intently while busying herself with cooking a warm meal for dinner.
“You’re staying for dinner, right?” She asked, as she always did. Sieun knew it wasn’t really a question and there was no way to refuse. He nodded, drying the last plate before picking up his bag again and excusing himself to Youngyi’s room.
He knocked once, then twice, before letting himself in. Yougyi was sitting on her bed, surrounded by used tissues, while a movie played on her laptop. Sieun crunched up his nose in disgust at the sight.
“You look pitiful,” he said instead of a greeting.
Yougyi finally looks up at him with bloodshot eyes. She looked like a zombie. Sieun didn’t move an inch, suddenly regretting his decision. He didn’t want to get sick a few days before his exams. Especially considering his weak health, which he despised more than anything.
“What are you doing here?” She asked instead of talking back like she usually did. Oh yeah, she was really sick.
From where he stood, by the door, Sieun threw the pharmacy bag at her. He had probably gone a bit overboard, buying all sorts of medicine, but it was nothing if it meant his friend could feel better. She stared at it, dumbfounded before opening the bag and laughing at how full it was.
“I just caught a cold. I’m not dying!” Her laugh soon turned into a cough and she reached for the cough medicine still inside the bag. “Thanks though,” she smiled between coughs.
Sieun stood awkwardly, balancing from one foot to another. He wondered if Suho was home or if he was still at his part-time job. He wondered if he should ask.
“I know you’re scared of getting sick,” Youngyi finally spoke after taking her medicine. “Don’t worry, I get it. Suho’s home if you wanna hang out in his room.”
It was impressive how she always knew what Sieun was thinking. Sometimes he wondered if she could read his mind. The very thought made him shiver. It was better if she remained clueless about some things.
“Okay then,” he nodded, glancing at his best friend one last time before turning around. She was already unpausing her movie.
Sieun had gone to Suho’s room a few times. Whenever he came around, the three of them would often hang out until it was late or dinner was ready. Suho was only a year older than them and the two siblings mostly got along well.
Sieun felt his palms getting sweaty as he approached Suho’s half-closed door. He heard Beomseok’s voice even before reaching it. A wave of disappointment washed over him at the idea that they wouldn’t be alone together. Also mostly because Beomseok didn’t seem to like him very much.
Sieun’s hand lingered over the handle before the door opened, revealing Suho, who didn’t seem to have noticed him, too invested in the conversation he was having, leading him to bump right into Sieun. Suho caught him by the wrist to stop him from falling over and quickly apologized. The two of them exchanged an awkward look before Sieun looked away, embarrassed.
“I was gonna get some drinks, want something?” Suho smiled, lifting the mood again. Sieun shook his head and Suho walked away quickly.
Sieun stared at Beomseok for a few seconds as he was sitting in his usual spot (the desk chair), before finding space on the floor, amongst a pile of clothes that he hoped were clean. Neither of them made an effort to speak as they waited for the host to come back.
They heard him before he entered the room, yelling at Youngyi that if she had wanted a drink too she should’ve asked earlier.
“How could I know you were going to the kitchen?” She yelled back in her raspy voice.
Sieun rushed to open the door for Suho, his hands being full as he had expected. He smiled at the younger boy before staring at Beomseok for a few seconds. A crease formed between his eyebrows as he rushed to put the cans down on the floor.
“Why are you sitting here?” Suho nagged at a confused Beomseok. He came to hold onto his shoulders, gently holding him up until he was sitting on the bed. “You were sitting in Sieun’s favorite chair!”
Sieun froze, and that stupid warmth grew in his heart again. He remembered. He cared. He didn’t move until Suho came to stand behind him, holding his shoulders and forcing him to step forward until he was on the chair. He tried to ignore the way Beomseok was glaring at him.
“So, what brings you to hyung’s room?” Suho asked as he found a spot on the floor to sit on. All his attention was on him and Sieun couldn’t help the faint blush from staining his cheeks. He hated it.
“I don’t want Youngyi to get me sick,” he admitted, looking away, embarrassed at so much attention.
Suho nodded in understanding. He was aware of Sieun’s health but never commented on it. Unlike everyone at school who tried to pick on him. "I'm here to keep you safe," Suho smiled before changing the subject completely, his attention drifting back to his friend.
They talked mostly about things that Sieun didn’t understand, such as people he didn’t know or sports. Suho often tried to include him in the conversation but he was happy just listening.
Later, Youngyi joined them for dinner, looking like she had come straight from hell. She didn’t eat or talk much, which was very out of character for her. Sieun assumed she wouldn’t be at school the next day either.
It was already dark outside by the time they had finished eating and cleaning up. Grandma kissed everyone on the cheek before heading to bed. Sieun waved goodbye to his best friend as she also retreated to her bedroom. He began looking for buses, hoping there was still one running.
“What are you up to?” Suho asked, placing himself behind Sieun to look at his phone. “Looking for buses? Why?”
Sieun did his best to show no reaction to the proximity. He looked to his side, his nose almost bumping with Suho’s. Had he been so close this whole time? Neither moved for a moment. Sieun was torn between closing the distance and running far away. He did neither, sighing and taking a small step back.
“Because I have to get home somehow.”
It was Suho’s turn to sigh. Sieun stared, confused at his exasperated expression. “I’m driving you home, though.” It was never a question, not even up for debate.
What about Beomseok?
The question burned on his tongue but he didn’t ask. He didn’t have to as Suho tapped his friend’s shoulder, wishing him to get home safely. Sieun felt a sort of twisted satisfaction at that. He wouldn’t admit it, not even to himself. That was just mean . Beomseok had done nothing except be Suho’s closest friend. And maybe he often glared at him and accidentally bumped into him, but that wasn’t something bad enough for Sieun to get mad at him. Or he didn’t think it should be.
They walked silently to the side of the building where Suho’s bike was parked. He lent him his only helmet, barely waiting for Sieun to react before snatching it from his hands and putting it on for him. Sieun felt like he was about to faint as Suho smiled so warmly at him.
“You’re so cute, you know that?” Suho said as he turned away. Sieun was almost sure he hadn’t been meant to hear it.
He shivered in the cold winter air, finally remembering that he forgot to give Suho’s scarf back. He opened his backpack, taking it out and lending it to Suho who was waiting for him on the bike. Suho took the scarf, wrapping it around Sieun again, like earlier.
“Can’t put it on yourself? Need hyung to help, hm?” Suho said jokingly as he did so. Sieun rolled his eyes, pretending to be unaffected. “Keep it a little longer, if I need a scarf I’ll steal Youngyi’s.”
Suho was careful in the way he wrapped the scarf around his neck as if he was afraid that if he didn’t do it right, Sieun would be cold. His hands lingered on the piece of fabric before clearing his throat and turning back around. Sieun wasted no time to sit behind him, happy to hide his flushed face from him. Suho’s hands found Sieun’s behind him, taking them and stuffing them in his windbreaker’s pockets. So you’re not cold , he had said to justify himself. Sieun didn’t complain. He should always listen to his hyung, after all.
They’re standing in the parking lot in front of Sieun’s complex when Suho speaks again. He’s casually removing Sieun’s helmet for him as if it was nothing while asking how he would get to school the next day. Sieun thought it was a strange question since Suho most likely already knew the answer. Still, he decided to reply.
“I’m taking the bus.”
Suho smiles at that. Yeah, he definitely already knew. “Since Youngyi won’t be here, I’ll pick you up,” he says without leaving space for discussion.
Sieun’s face doesn’t change, doesn’t show the little spark of excitement that grows in him. “I go to school early, that won’t work.” He thinks that Suho will give up then, but he should’ve known that such a thing wouldn’t change his mind. He smiles down at him again and his fingers find their way through Sieun’s hair.
“I know, I’ll be here by 6:30, you better be ready!”
He lowers his hands, detangling his fingers from his hair as he waves goodbye, leaving a stunned Sieun behind. His hand reaches his chest, feeling the strong heartbeat under it, even long after Suho is gone.