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-These will be times that I won't miss. Don't blame me if I don't come through.-
Cas looked down at Dean. The one who'd jump started the apocolyopse, the one who'd gotten him thrown from heaven.
The one whod given him free will.
The one who matched him in every way, who's body seemed to fit perfectly with his own.
Cas thought of deans intoxicating smell, and thought of how Dean protected him, even when he'd been more of a pain to keep around than anything.
-I've spent a lifetime on this. But I would give it all to you.-
If he could kill Dean, he could go back.
He could be with his brothers and sisters, and he could be one of gods chosen again.An Angel of the lord.
But...
A Burger together late night, deans go get em personality, the way deans lips fit his just right..
-cause I know what you do is out of fashion, but it only makes it harder for me-
Dean...well dean, the Winchester's in general, had caused a lot of problems.
Cas had...gladly...almost died for dean more times than he could count.
But why shouldn't he kill him? It was gods will, wasn't it?
He looked into deans eyes
-And I know that you’re scared of the notion, We'll become who we're meant to be-
No. No, this wasn't gods will. And of it was? Fuck god. Cas could live without god. He couldn't live without dean.
Hot passionate seconds, sloppy snuck in affection, trying to save the world....
-There is the head On the grave you're under,Let me be there,And tell me if you need time to prepare
All will amount his world-
He knew he could live with dean or die without. There was no going back. He didnt know what gods will, or fate, or whatever it was willed...but he said fuck it.
He couldn't kill Dean. Never, not in a million years.
-Cause I know what you do is out of fashion, But it only makes it harder for me,and I know that you’re scared of the notion,we'll become who we're meant to be-
The twinkle in deans eye when they got out of a mission, the exhiliratin ruh he fealt when he looked at Dean, the way dean laughed, truly laughed, coarse and rough and full of pure happiness.
That was what he wanted.
Hell with grace, and God.
If he could be here with dean...
He had no regrets.