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The nightmares were continuous. By that point, it was something they were both used to, now that sleeping had become their routine. Sometimes it was Gabriel who woke up drenched in cold sweat, struggling with his breath — not that he needed to do any of that, but something his human-like corporation naturally responded to with such stressors. The same happened to Beelzebub, sometimes accompanied by painful writhing, or sometimes they found themselves sobbing with tears. When it happened to one of them, the other would provide comfort immediately. They knew the depth of each other’s pain for serving their respective lot for so long, even without having to lay out all the details. They would soothe each other, cuddle, and sometimes make love until they were both drunk and tired enough to go back to sleep.
One night, it was Beelzebub who was abruptly awakened in their sleep. A loud gasp escaped their lips and tears were flowing down their face. Gabriel popped up his wings and wrapped his huge feathers around them like a cocoon. Beelzebub, still confused by what they saw earlier in their slumber, hurriedly reached for Gabriel, who cuddled them up instinctively, kissed them on the forehead, and told them everything was fine now. He was there for them, always.
They stayed cocooned for a while, clinging to each other, unwilling to let go.
Gabriel gently brushed his hands over Beelzebub’s back, just right over the area where their wings would’ve extended, curiously wondering why they had never shown their wings ever since they got together. He only concluded that The Fall must have something to do with it. He heard some demons had their wings scorched black, some shed beyond recognition. Maybe Beelzebub just didn’t want to be reminded of that. Maybe those nightmares were about that, the way his were about God's insistent programming of Her ineffable, yet ominous plan. The makeup of the Supreme Archangel was too inadequate to comprehend Her instructions, yet he had no capability to resist. That lingering powerlessness and helplessness, and he knew how complicated that must be for them to talk about.
But nevertheless, he said, “Bee, you know you’re always safe with me.”
Beelzebub adjusted their position to be pressed even tighter to Gabriel, one hand draped over his torso and tangling one of their legs with his; “Yes, Angel. I know.”
“If you feel like you’re ready to talk to me, I’m here for you. Always.”
Beelzebub tilted their head up as they moved their hand from his chest to cup his face, reaching for a kiss. “Thank you, my sweet.”
Beelzebub stood before the full body mirror in their bedroom as they tidied up their shirt, tucking it carefully beneath the fishnet vest. They had been picking up Gabriel’s habit of putting on their suit piece by piece instead of just miracling it. Sure, miracling it was very handy during certain occasions — the aftermath to a surge of uncontainable desire for one another in unexpected places, for example – but when they were home and had all the time through eternity, they quite savored the feel of each fabric and little buttons nestled inside their little holes.
Their eyes were fixed on the rim of their pants as they tucked their shirt in, and when it was tidy enough to put on their suit jacket, Beelzebub looked up and walked closer to the mirror, intending to fix the crown medal that secured all the colorful ribbons that adorned their collar.
And there, they caught their own face, so clearly, looking back at them.
What? This old thing? I’ve had it for ages .
They remembered when they created the skin. They remembered descending down to earth and displaying their demonic might to humans, leading mortals to worship them as a false god with the skin. Yes, they've had it for some time. Fun, mischievous times. But still, they thought they would only keep it as a memento of the time they taunted God, and never thought they would actually need it to replace their previous corporation that was shredded to non-existence.
Destroyed. Picked apart, piece by piece. Each peeling done so painfully as a warning.
Beelzebub closed their eyes, fighting so hard to not go back there despite how much the memories pulled them below.
He can’t touch you anymore. Not now. Not ever. Not with Gabriel.
Beelzebub opened their eyes and found themselves involuntarily wrapping their arms around their shoulders.
They took a deep breath, easing their way out from the memory. Slowly, their hands followed and eased themselves away from their shoulders, back to their sides.
They took another close look into the mirror. Noticing every bit of their ensemble, their wing collar shirt, their ribbons, the fishnets, their cropped pants. They did love their look, and they saw no reason to step out of comfort, but perhaps they needed an alternative. After all, they only changed their makeup and their hat along with their new corporation.
It had been almost one human year since they left their old posts anyway. They had been experiencing new sorts of things, and a range of clothes would be perfect. Besides, Gabriel had begun to extend his wardrobe to more than just suits. Beelzebub ought to catch up with him.
It was time to move on and leave all memories of Hell behind.
Gabriel barely hid his smile the moment he heard them say, “Gabriel, I think I’m ready for the tailor. Shopping for clothes?”
His grin was wide from ear to ear, “Ah, darling, I promise you won’t regret this.”
Gabriel’s affinity to human clothing was definitely something to adore.
They definitely miracled themselves there to save some time because Gabriel was way too excited to get Beelzebub a new piece of clothing they’d like. Beelzebub had learned a few things about going to the tailor from their previous visits with Gabriel. They got to be measured, choose the fabric for customization or pick something ready made, and had it adjusted to fit their size.
Beelzebub decided they wanted something that matched Gabriel’s turtleneck ensemble, something rather casual but still somewhat proper. The human tailor referred to it as a “semi-formal” look. They also decided that they wanted something to be based on their collar accessories, their continental bow and all the ribbons that were attached to their medal.
The tailor suggested a knitted cardigan and showed them some of the ready made knitted goods in the shop. Beelzebub discovered an oversized black cardigan which would go over a new white shirt. It had thin maroon lines on the edge of the sleeves and the bottom rim. The color combination and the little touch matched their accessories perfectly. The tailor didn’t remember that a fly with a crown on top was embroidered to the left side of the cardigan. Beelzebub and Gabriel only giggled.
What they needed next was a bottom. Beelzebub pondered between a pair of bell bottom pants and a wide skirt, something with no movement restrictions. After a while, Beelzebub decided on a skirt. Something new, something different. They wanted the skirt to be unusual and asymmetric; something about it added a charm to them. The tailor was impressed by Beelzebub’s vision and suggested some black lace to be added to the black fabric, which would then be torn around the edges so that they dangled similarly to Beelzebub’s distressed ribbons. Beelzebub agreed to the addition.
After a few days, the pieces were finally complete. As Beelzebub tried everything on, they added narrow fishnet stockings to go with their Oxfords and a pair of fishnet gloves to complete the look. They looked at the mirror inside the shop and did a little spin with the skirt, prompting some flies to come out of it and float about as a sign of joy and contentment.
Gabriel approached them from behind, rubbing on the sides of Beelzebub’s arms and feeling the softness of the knitted cardigan that had absorbed Beelzebub’s own body warmth. He leaned down, brought his lips close to their temple, and whispered in his deep baritone voice, “You look amazing.”
A surge of warmth washed over Beelzebub as evident on the blush on their cheeks. The demon couldn’t help but let out an enamored sigh, leaning over to their lover’s eagerly welcoming embrace. “Thank you, my love. I’m fond of it myself.”
They both looked into the mirror and Beelzebub noticed that, after all, they were still the same demon, even with new corporation, new clothes, and a new place to reside and just exist; they were still them .
And Gabriel was there, loving them unconditionally.
That night, Beelzebub noticed that their fishnet gloves were suddenly missing from their hands and saw that their skin was pale like their old corporation.
Out of pure instinct, they frantically place their hands over their body and notice there was no single fabric covering them. No personalized cardigan that smelled like white musk, lilies and sandalwood to be found. Nothing. They were as naked as a human offspring being born.
Demons should never feel threatened by any sign of danger. They were the harbingers of what danger was supposed to be. But for some reason, Beelzebub felt the exact opposite; they felt like they were the prey, as if they were stripped out of their demon-ness and left with nothing but a consciousness inhabiting a human-like flesh. A very fragile human-like flesh.
All of a sudden, a hand three times larger than their whole body grabbed Beelzebub with suffocating strength. It felt coarse, craggy, and sharp through their skin. It burned so badly that Beelzebub started to scream, and smoke was visible as the heat scorched each layer of the epidermis. Every existing wound scarred further. Every boil and blister popped, leaving pus and blood everywhere. The strength of the grasp became even tighter, squeezing them like the puny insect they were, forcing their wings to come out; and once they did, the hand then slammed them into a wall, so powerful that it cracked against their body and they could feel their bones were cracking too.
Beelzebub heard the buzzing of their flies, desperately trying to escape, but before they could even gather any strength to lift their head and get a glimpse, the same gigantic hand swung towards the flies and easily crushed them within one grip. Beelzebub yelled, feeling all the dying pain of each fly. Beelzebub had no more strength left. They couldn’t even fight back when there were sharp rocks coming out of the wall, impaling their wings with brute force, restraining their movements so there was no way they could flee from the situation they were in.
And there he was, hovering towards them, with all his blasphemous glory emanating in the form of thick, repugnant smoke that disrupted all the senses.
“My, My, My, Beelzebub…” Satan spoke, “what have I told you about…”
And his voice cracked into an eruption, vibrating in multitudes of sounds that could shatter not only the eardrums, but the entire head along with its innards, “ …NOT CARRYING THROUGH WITH MY PLAN!!!?? ”
Beelzebub struggled to even let out a whimper, let alone answer. The pressure from Satan’s grip and the screams they let out in agony had tampered with their larynx. They forced themselves to say something. Nothing came out but a hollow gasp.
A huge, claymore-like nail lifted up Beelzebub’s chin. They could feel the sharp edge dragged down from their neck to where their effort would be, slowly and painfully, although not deep enough to dissect them. Beelzebub winced and held back their cry, knowing it would encourage him further.
They were angry. They wanted to fight back, but they knew things were only about to get worse.
Then the peeling began, much like an insect forced to molt, layer after layer after layer. Flesh, fresh and rotting, were all exposed, dug in pinches until it reached the bones.
“This is for failing to command your subordinates accordingly. This is for being negligent. This is for how imbecilic you were for being deceived by a lowly traitor. This is for not being able to put my son in his place…”
Satan continued to scrap Beelzebub’s corporation.
“You will remember this, Beelzebub. I will make you remember so you won’t make the same mistakes.”
Gabriel felt a great shake on the bed and found Beelzebub tossing and trembling beside him. An audible wail came out from Beelzebub’s throat; they were clearly struggling in torment. Gabriel tried not to panic, no matter how worried he was for his demon.
Gently but steadily, he placed his hands over their arms, trying to get them back to a place they would be safe and protected. Loved.
“Bee? Beelzebub?”
After a few attempts and not giving up on calling their name, Beelzebub slowly opened their eyes.
“Gabriel?” They sounded choked. The moment they fully gained consciousness and realized it was really Gabriel, they got up immediately. “Gabriel!”
In a swift movement, Beelzebub wrapped their arms around Gabriel’s neck and held him tight. They began to crash. They never looked so vulnerable with their smaller stature curled closely into his broad chest, large arms cradling them close and his towering figure becoming a shelter so they felt safe to crumble.
“Gabriel, I— I lied,” Beelzebub began to sob, wet tears covering Gabriel’s shirt.
“About what?”
“I lied about my face.”
Gabriel truly didn’t expect that answer, “What do you mean?”
“I lied. I didn’t change it every 6000 years. I couldn’t even remember what I looked like before The Fall. I was discorporated— no, tortured to the point of discorporation. I lost my old corporation, Gabriel. Satan destroyed it. I was punished for not going through with Armageddon..”
“Bee…”
“It’s not about the face,” they sniffled, “it’s why I had to change into this face. I had to lie because it was humiliating and the moment— the moment I realized I want to be with you, love you, I—“ Beelzebub pulled back a little to search for Gabriel’s eyes, “I— I’m scared…”
Gabriel gently placed their hands on Beelzebub’s face, wiping their dripping tears, pushing their scraggly hair to the sides, “Why?”
“I’m scared… About what you think… To why I look like this…” The pain in their voice was undeniable.
Gabriel could only sigh, their name on his breath as he slowly brought his forehead to theirs while his thumbs lovingly caressed their cheeks. He enclosed every gap between them with a deep kiss, which Beelzebub willingly succumbed to as his hands moved over their back to bring them closer and cradled them in his arms securely. They both savored the kiss for a while, going as long as they could until they both soothed. When they parted, Beelzebub placed their head back on Gabriel’s chest, trying to dilute all the anxiety that plagued them with his warmth.
“Bee, old corporation, new corporation, I love you ,” Gabriel assured them, “It wouldn’t matter to me how you look. You can create a new corporation and I would still love you. You know what? If anything, it makes me want to take care of your current form even more.”
Gabriel continued although there was a slight change in his tone. Something grounded, tranquil, but threatening. Something he meant with every bit of light that composed his entire existence, “I won’t let him near you.”
Gabriel kissed the top of Beelzebub’s head and made it last for a while, doing it as if he was inhaling their every essence, etching it to his memory with fondness in every detail.
As Beelzebub’s sobs became subdued, Gabriel carefully guided them to lay back on the bed without letting go of his embrace. Their lips met softly as they tucked back within the covers. They continued to lazily kiss as a way to lull themselves back to sleep.
Gabriel knew he couldn’t take all the nightmares away from Beelzebub, and Beelzebub couldn’t take Gabriel’s nightmares away from him, no matter how much they both wanted to. But to know that they would wake up in each other’s arms, safe, secure, and loved was an assurance that whatever they saw within their sleep, everything would be fine as soon as they woke up.
In a faint, slightly sunset tinted light, Beelzebub could hear a voice echoing.
“What about no Armageddon? — We keep the status quo, static and… uhh, quo-y.”
It was the most ridiculous thing Beelzebub had ever heard in a while, but somehow very assuring. Somehow, maybe, they would catch a break for once in their existence.
And another sound followed, echoing faintly with a melody.
Everyday, it’s-a-getting closer. Going faster than a roller coaster. Love like yours will surely come my way.
The song continued as Beelzebub heavily opened their eyes. They listened to it as it faded away, melting into the chirping of the birds outside their window.
And the thing they heard next was, “Good morning, love.”