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The first petal that Seokjin coughed up was a surprise.
He looked to Yoongi, who was sitting beside him, their fingers intertwined over his lap.
Yoongi, too, looked shocked. “But I—”
Perhaps it was because Seokjin liked him first.
The doctor told Seokjin that it was a mild case and would clear up on its own.
You are with the object of your affection only recently. Give it time.
So Seokjin gave it time.
And it got worse.
Yoongi doubled his efforts to show Seokjin he returned his feelings. Once, and only once, Yoongi asked if there was someone else. The only fight they had in the first year of their relationship.
There was no one else. Seokjin only had eyes for Yoongi from the first time they met.
—
The day of Yoongi’s proposal, in front of all of their friends, when Seokjin tearfully accepted, was the day he coughed up a puddle of flowers and blood and had to be hospitalized.
The disease was spreading. Roots were in his heart, his lungs, trickling through his organs and muscle tissue.
“I don’t understand,” Seokjin sobbed. “We love each other. Why is this happening to me?”
He did not see the pale, stricken face of one of his friends in the hospital room with him.
—
Jungkook witnessed with everyone else the horror of Seokjin’s mouth full of blood and petals after accepting Yoongi’s proposal. He was the only one who noticed that the flower was a tiger lily.
His birth flower. Please love me.
Jungkook expected it to be him, the one who would slowly lose himself to the disease. Years of waiting for Seokjin to see him. As time passed and nothing happened, he doubted if his feelings were ever real.
He had no idea that his feelings were so real they were slowly killing the person he loved the most. And he had no idea that it had been happening from the day Seokjin met Yoongi. No, it worsened when Seokjin met Yoongi and Jungkook saw the love in Seokjin’s eyes that would never be turned towards him.
He left that night and intended never to see Seokjin again, not if staying meant that Seokjin would die.
—
Only a week passed before Seokjin came knocking on Jungkook’s door.
The first thing Jungkook saw when he let Seokjin into his apartment was the shiny silver engagement ring on his left hand.
And then Seokjin started coughing again.
“Leave, hyung-nim,” Jungkook begged, tears in his eyes.
“Why, Jungkook-ah?” Seokjin asked, gasping with each word. “Why are you doing this? I don’t understand.”
A blood-stained petal escaped Seokjin’s mouth at the last word. Jungkook caught it and held it in his open palm.
“Because it’s me,” he said. “I’m the one killing you.”
—
Seokjin recognized the flower in Jungkook’s hand. The tiger lily, Jungkook’s flower.
How did he not notice?
Seokjin coughed again, choking on flowers and blood, and watched as Jungkook, his longest and most precious friend, backed away from him.
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Jin-hyung.”
He understood now.
—
Is there someone else? Yoongi had asked. Is it Jungkook?
Seokjin said what he thought was true. No.
He did not know it was a lie.
—
Please love me.
When Jungkook said those words to him, he knew what Jungkook was asking.
Seokjin has never said no to Jungkook. He never denied him anything because Jungkook never asked anything of him that he could not give. Asking to love him? That was easy. Seokjin has loved Jungkook from the moment they met. Such a love that knew no bounds.
It was not the love that Jungkook wanted from him. And it was killing him.
Seokjin closed his eyes and saw Yoongi’s face. “Jungkook-ah, I…”
—
The wedding happened sooner than anyone expected. Seokjin made a full recovery. Everyone said it was a miracle.
The rings on Seokjin’s finger glittered as he and his husband walked down the aisle, a blinding smile on his face. Hiding a profound emptiness where his lungs and heart were once full and the sacrifice he had to make for this moment.