Archive of Our Own

It’s not like he intended to come up to the Captain like a creep.

Captain Nanase Nozomu, as he recalled, was always a quiet and distant man. Blending to the surroundings as if he was trying to live as if he was dead. Unlike his older brother, Nanase Izuru, one of the names revered throughout the headquarters, even as a Major rank. Ren didn’t really care about Izuru or any other matters not related to his master, Arihara Morihito. The most he could care about was the team he was placed in along with Mori–which unfortunately, also had the annoying Kagurazaka Soushi who kept harassing his master. Mori told him to not mind it, in fact, Ren had an inkling that his master was pleased about the treatment even–still, he couldn’t help but dislike Soushi for it. Meanwhile, the former General Oohara Sora is someone who rescued his master, so he likes Sora. 

Nozomu was a different case–or maybe not. Ren didn’t dislike him. There was nothing to dislike about someone who kept his distance from them. However, Ren didn’t find anything to like about him. No matter how he observed the man, he couldn’t find a reason to. 

And he didn’t intend to try and find reasons to.

It just happened that he and the Captain kept getting paired up for missions. When a mission is too dangerous, or didn’t need much manpower, he would find himself travelling with Nozomu for said mission. At one point he doubted that Sora was doing it out of rationality and just because he liked to pair them as a duo because it was convenient. It wasn’t really his position to question the General so he kept quiet everytime. And because of it, he finds himself looking at Nozomu more–mostly because he doesn’t have anyone else to observe.

When they’re together with the team, his attention was mostly focused on Morhito or he would be preoccupied arguing with Soushi, so he never really noticed it before but Nozomu was more attentive than he expected. Always knowing whenever to step in during arguments, quietly supporting others by providing them aids, and paying attention to the status of his comrades. He somewhat understood how Sora could continue chatting up a storm with the quiet man now. But that didn’t mean anything, just how a soldier should be acting. Ren didn’t attempt to try idle talk with him even after that. Not because he was afraid of ending the conversation awkwardly but because he felt like it was a waste of effort. Yes, that’s right, that was his reason. 

To his surprise though, it was the Captain who started a conversation with him. Well, atleast that’s what it looks like.

“Do you want me to request a change in partnership next time?”

Ren blinked. Nozomu merely stared at him, as if waiting for his answer. To which he intends to reply with another question.

“Why?”

“I just thought… you might prefer not to be partnered with me anymore.” The captain said, seemingly hesitant on the answer. Ren could only stare again. He didn’t understand what Nozomu meant, and as a guard who was raised to be a Prince’s guard knight, that only meant one thing.

“Am I not performing well? Am I holding you back during missions?” He asked again, panic slowly rising in his chest. So far, he thought the missions they were going together with ended well with minor injuries on the side. Of course, there were unexpected circumstances that left them major injuries from time to time but that was natural as a soldier. Did he overlook something? Was he a nuisance after all? Forget being a soldier, he can’t return to his master’s side if he couldn’t even handle missions properly, it would be a disgrace to call himself Morihito’s guard dog if that was the case.

“R–Lieutant, calm down.” Nozomu lightly patted his forehead. Ren snapped back to reality, but not before noticing that slight slip that the Captain did. 

“Then, why? If I’m lacking something, then please tell me. I will correct my actions to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“No, that’s not it.” Nozomu sighed. “I worded that incorrectly. I was going to ask you if you preferred going on missions with Morihito-san.If you want, I can request Sora to stop placing us on missions alone together.”

Ren’s eyes lightened up at the prospect of teaming up with Mori. It would be a lie if he denied that, but then, what of Nozomu?

“What will happen to you, if that’s the case?”

“We’re lacking a bit in manpower, but that doesn’t mean there’s no other option.” Nozomu answered. “I’ll just be assigned to someone else, that’s all.”

For a moment, Ren’s eyes turned dark.

Someone else? Was that the actual intention behind this so-called ‘favor’ after all? By giving Ren what he wished for, Nozomu can be assigned to team wih someone he wanted to team up after all? What is all there is to it? His chest tightened at the thought.

“No. I don’t mind continuing to partner with you.”

His mouth spoke before he couldn even think of an answer. Nozomu seemed surprised at his answer. And he was too. In a panic, he tried to come up with a follow up to his answer. 

“I mean, well, I won’t go against Sora’s assignments. As long as I’m fulfilling my part well, then I have no complaints. I’m sure Morihito-sama would want that.”

“... Hmm… if you say so.”

There was a lingering thought in his mind, that he felt like it was ok to ask now. “... Perhaps, is there someone else you prefer having as a partner, after all?”

“Not really.” Nozomu answered quickly. “You just seemed displeased everytime Soushi-san and Morihito-san went into missions together, especially since Sora can’t go out to battle recently.”

“... I’m not going to deny that.” He admitted, he was already here, might as well clear up misconceptions. “However, Morihito-sama and Sora-san seem to trust Kagurazaka. And as much as I hate to admit it, Kagurazaka does take care of my master well despite his harassment… and he’s strong despite his brashness.”

He won’t go against his master’s wishes. He won’t interrupt Mori’s happiness either. His feelings don't matter, his priority is his master’s wellbeing. 

“... so it’s fine settling with me, huh.”

“Hm?” Ren looked up at the captain, who seemed to whisper something but he couldn’t catch it.

“Nothing.”

“I see. Then, if that’s all you have to discuss with me…” Ren trailed off. Normally, he’ll just take a leave without a word or two, but he had the feeling that there was something that kept him from leaving. Maybe because it was his first personal conversation with the Captain that just kept him on edge. 

“Lieutenant.”

Nozomu said the tone was strange, it felt like he wasn’t being called out, but regardless, Ren decided to play safe. “Yes?”

“Why did you remain as a Lieutenant?”

“.......” Ren smiled at him, his eyes felt like it was going blind by that question. He could just tell off the Captain for asking unnecessary questions, but he felt compelled to answer him. “.... This was how the higher ups ranked us, Captain.”

“Those… aren’t really knowledgeable on the battles that happen outside. The Generals are the ones who are truly capable of assessing us, and well, and soldiers above Private can.”

“What are you implying?”

“You’re smart and assertive during battle, that alone should be enough to rank you as a Captain. Moreover, you’re a trained royal guard, you could even be a Major. So why did you hide your capabilities back then?”

“... I have no idea what you are talking about, Captain. You might be mistaken.“

”I’ve been observing you, if you ask any General, they’ll agree with me.”

“......” Ren gripped his sword. He couldn’t make up an excuse, he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth. Instead, he stood there, frozen in place. Nozomu seemed to notice that and waved off his question.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry for asking an insensitive question.”

“...---” He couldn’t look at the Captain, with only a question lingering in his mind.

“You’ve been asking about my position… is there a reason why? Do you… find me unpleasant as a partner that much?”

He’s been called names before for his decision to remain by Mori’s side. All of it upfront, some with the intent to hurt him, some, just teasing him. He could ignore it, letting those bother him was unnecessary. But there is something sickening with the thought of the person he assessed that he didn’t hate–maybe even liked, secretly despising him all along. 

“No. Not at all. In fact, I’m glad that you are my partner.”

“!”

Ren looked up at him, but Nozomu already had his back facing the Lieutenant. “Sorry for keeping you here. Thanks for answering my questions. Goodnight, Munakata.”

–

It’s been weeks since they had a long conversation, but Nozomu would sometimes chatter up to him whenever they’re alone. 

And only when they’re alone.

Whenever they are with the others, Nozomu remains silent and distant like usual. However, together, Nozomu would check up on him, on his state. Ren could deal with him like how they were before, but if this was Nozomu’s way of apologizing to him, he won’t reject him. Not that the Captain had to apologize anyway. Still, Ren felt a sense of superiority of being the only one who knew this side of Nozomu.

And the fact that he isn't hated, nor is he doing bad makes it easier to work alongside the Captain. 

However, he didn't really want to be fuzzy about this at first. 

“You’ve been getting along with Nozomu, aren't you Ren?”

Mori asked one day, while they were on break, and for once, alone together. No annoying disturbances like a certain black-haired 183-cm tall Major. Ren shrugged and continued cleaning his blade.

“We’ve both noticed that Sora-san likes placing us on missions together, it would be bad if our relationship affected our synergy. That's all, Morihito-sama.”

“Do you really think so?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, uhm. Ren, what do you think of Nozomu?”

“That he’s capable and not-annoying.”

“Is that all?” 

Ren kept his mouth shut. He can't lie to his master, but he knew better than to spill the secrets of someone he’s not even that close to. Over the weeks, he noticed subtle things about Nozomu. Like how unexpectedly easily drawn the Captain is towards music, his artistic ability wasn't bad at all that he could draw a decent map, or that he always carries a red handkerchief with him. He couldn't just say that observation to anyone, not that he wanted to, even if it's Mori.

“He’s unexpectedly good at many things that aren't obvious since he rarely speaks.”

“I see.” Mori smiled at his answer, as if he got what he wanted despite the vagueness. It was strange. “Sora talked about this to me, but Nozomu’s actions tend to speak more than his words. I think he’s a nice match to you.”

“Well, he’s certainly more comfortable to work with compared to others…”

“Ah, no, that's not…” Mori sighed. “Oh well, as long as you're in good hands.”

Ren raised a brow. “Morihito-sama, are you implying I’m someone who needs to be taken care of?”

“No. Not really.” His master answered immediately. His gaze became serious, a look that Ren is familiar with. “You don't need care, but I still wish that you receive it from those around you. I’m… weaker than you so I can't protect you so…”

“Morihito-sama.” Ren sheathed his sword and held Mori’s hands, gazing at his master with devotion. “I’m your guard, you shouldn't have to worry about protecting me. As long as I fulfill my duty to protect you, then I have fulfilled my life’s purpose.”

“ That is exactly what I’m referring to.” Mori sighed. “Ren, the world we live in now doesn't fit the kind of life we held before. I’m glad you care about me but I don't want you to think less of yourself. We’re both soldiers now. I want you by my side not as Prince and knight, but as friends.”

“... But…”

Ren’s shoulders drooped at the rejection. He felt a hand gently rub the top of his head.

“Ren, I’m not dismissing you like this. I really want us to be friends, but that's difficult if you keep treating yourself as a lesser being than me. Please, consider it.”

“Yes, Morihito-sama…”

No, he can't. 

Ren walked around the headquarters aimlessly. Normally at this time, when he has free time, he would be training. However, his master's words rang inside his head and refused to get out. A dark aura surrounded him, making others find it hard to approach him, to which he is thankful for once. There was no one to disturb him as he pondered.

What else is his purpose if not to guard Arihara Morihito? He didn't understand. Was what they had not enough? Was he not doing enough? Why did Mori want to break off the connection that they had in the first place? His chest  tightened at the rejection. All his life, his childhood, he was trained to become a knight. Even so, he didn't become a guard to Mori out of obligation, he genuinely likes his master. The idea of becoming something else unrelated to his master never came to him. So why did Mori suggest that?

Do not dream of becoming something else other than the Prince’s guard. That was all the reason you were born after all. 

He flinched upon remembering the words repeated to him during his childhood. Ren shook his head.

“You’re smart and assertive during battle, that alone should be enough to rank you as a Captain. Moreover, you’re a trained royal guard, you could even be a Major. If you push it, you might be enough to be a Colonel.”

Ren was taken aback this time when the Captain's words rang in his head. That was… in his opinion, the first time he received an assertion like that. Most merely questioned his intentions, but nothing beyond that. And yet those were the words he received from Nozomu.

Would it be too much of an assumption that those words were meant to be a praise?

If so, somehow that lifted the heavy weight on his chest.

With a clearer head, he walked towards the training hall again, only to be stopped when he heard familiar voices near a half-open storage room. Well, only one was barely familiar.

‘Is tonight ok?’ A voice of a woman whispered, Ren connected what was occurring, and not wanting to be a witness of it, he walked faster, but quieter so as to not disturb the couple.

“Hmm… sure.”

Ren froze in place. That voice was familiar, it was none other than Nozomu. He looked back at the storage room in shock. Nozomu, the Nanase Nozomu? Engage in those activities? Are pigs flying now? Well, there are Regrets rampaging around so perhaps a pig flying is the least shocking thing to know now. He snapped out of his daze when the door slightly shook, and not wanting to be caught, he immediately left the vicinity, making sure to not have his presence noticed by the two.

 –

“Well, it’s an unexpectedly common practice during times of war, as recorded in histories before. When the world we live in does not provide the luxury of looking for love, some soldiers turn to sexual relationships in a way to comfort each other during war, and in our case, we live in a literal apocalypse. But the question is, why are you asking me , of all people?” 

Ren ignored the question and took a sip of water from his cup. In the end, he made it in the training hall and sparred with Lieutenant Sakuraba who also had time to spare. And for some reason, he began questioning about what he heard earlier, only leaving out who the participants were.

“You like gossip. I figured if someone would be knowledgeable about this kind of trivias, it would be you.”

“I don’t know if that’s supposed to be an insult or not, but I’ll take it. I didn’t think you’d be interested in knowing these kinds of things.”

He’s not. What he’s interested in is why that person of all people participates in that kind of activity. 

“I was… curious. Do you also participate in it?”

“Hah?” Ryouta looked at him, obviously baffled by the question. “Of course not. Why would I? Not that I need to since I have a partner. ”

Ren took another sip of his drink, pretending to not have heard the whisper. So Ryouta has a partner? The only logical person he could think of that Ryouta was close enough to have as a partner is…

“Say, if I may ask, how’s your chlorosis?”

“Oh… it’s not getting any better,” Ryouta touched a lock of his hair, and Ren could see the faint gradient of an empty white compared to the pinkish tint of white of the Lieutant’s actual hair color. “... but it's not getting worse at a rapid pace, despite the Regrets’ transformation lately.”

“You’re strong for handling that.”

“And you’re quite tough for getting this close to me despite my Chlorosis. Others get scared as if I will turn into a Regret anytime.” Ryouta chuckled, tiredness evident in his voice. Ren doesn’t blame him, the majority of the soldiers who don’t take time to shake off their impressions of those with chlorosis tend to discriminate against them. Recently, some even suspect even the white-haired soldiers have chlorosis, and it doesn’t help that his hair was of a faint gray as well. 

“I’m not an idiot that I’d treat you like Regret. Besides, that kind of discrimination, are they idiots? What would they do if that rumor got to Lord Zessei?”

“Lord Zessei is a mystery himself, anyway. I doubt he’d care about it.”

“Huh… you’re right.” 

“Anyways, we’ve gone off track.” Ryouta said. “Why were you asking about that? Did you catch others getting all touchy in public?”

“I was just baffled at the thought of engaging in that kind of vulnerability.” Ren answered, deflecting the question thrown at him. The other Lieutenant was sneaky at this type of conversation after all.

“I won’t deny that. Showing one’s vulnerability is basically asking to be stabbed in the back. But… It's a different call if you have someone you trust enough to let them know. Like trusting someone your back during battle, you find yourself being able to fight better when you have that person.”

Ren glanched at the other. Ryouta seemed deep in thought, smiling slightly as he played with his hair. So even someone like him can make that expression, huh? The other seemed to notice his gaze and fixed his posture, coughing lightly as if trying to not be suspicious. 

“Well, that’s just my opinion, whatever you do with it, that’s your own choice.” He said to Ren one last time before leaving the hall, leaving Ren alone with his thoughts. The Lieutenant sat down and continued thinking,

Someone you can trust your back, and someone you can find comfort with…

The conversation he caught earlier rang in his mind. He gripped the sheath of his katana. 

Was that person… like that for Captain Nozomu?

–

The thought almost left him without sleep.

Almost.

He physically knocked himself into sleeping, leaving an odd bump on his forehead when he woke up. Of course, his master was concerned when he saw it but Ren told him not to worry, though by the looks of it, it didn’t seem to work. Still, he had a mission today and of course he was partnered up with Nozomu again. He badly wished that he gained a bit of amnesia from knocking himself out so that the conversation yesterday wouldn’t haunt his mind whenever he looks at the Captain. Well, at least attempt to look.

And unfortunately, the Captain could read through him like an open book.

“You don’t have to continue later after this mission, you should take a break.”

“H-huh? Why?”

“You seem bothered about something today. Look, you already got a scratch over something minor and we’re not even done with the mission.” Nozomu said, going near him and then, he felt damp cloth over his cheek. He winced a little at the sting of medicine. The sting made him glance unconsciously at the man in front of him, and to his surprise, Nozomu was staring into his eyes. Ren avoided his gaze, feeling his face heat up as the cloth wiped off the blood from his cheek. The Captain opened his coat slightly, getting a bandaid from the inner pockets and placing it on Ren’s hand.

“... I’m fine Captain, I apologize for the inconvenience just now. Besides, we’re just scouting areas for today.” He said, placing the bandaid over his cheek.

“No, we can’t risk you getting a graver injury over light missions.”

“Captain, please, I don’t want to be useless. I don’t have any serious problems so please don’t mind me.”

Nozomu seemed unconvinced. “Was it because of our conversation the other day?”

“Huh? That… no, it’s not. Really.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Though it wasn’t completely unrelated to Nozomu. 

“Then, if it can lighten up your shoulders, you could discuss it with me if you’re comfortable enough. Mulling over things is dangerous with the world we live in now.”

Right, since doing that, one’s heart will weaken. And as a soldier whose heart is important to cut down Regrets, letting that happen means a death sentence. Ren understood that.

“I know it’s just… personal… Can we discuss this while we proceed with the mission, please?” He asked. Such matters wouldn’t matter to him normally, but he couldn’t help but feel bothered when it came to Nozomu. He doesn’t understand why either. However, Nozomu seemed convinced and agreed with it.

So he decided to go with the very first thing that was bothering him.

“Captain, do you have a lover?”

“I don’t, why do you ask?”

There was no shakiness to his answer, so maybe he was telling the truth. Then,

“I heard you talking with someone yesterday with something… explicit.”

“Uh… huh?”

“By chance, do you have sexual relations with someone?”

CLACK

Ren quickly turned around, surprised by the noise from Nozomu’s direction. “What was that?! Is there a Regret hiding in there?!”

“No… I just dropped this bucket… from your question. I didn’t think you’d be the type to pry over someone’s sexual life.”

“W-” Ren’s face turned red from the implication. “T-that’s not what I meant! It’s just that I happened to overhear one of your conversations yesterday and it seemed like you were sleeping with someone!” 

“Ah, that.” Nozomu stood up and began ramaging over other things. “Yeah, I was. But don’t misunderstand anything. That person and I aren’t lovers or partners. I don’t sleep with anyone more than once.”

“Huh…” Hearing that, Ren didn't know how to feel about it. On the other hand, he felt happy for some reason that Nozomu didn't have a lover, but the fact that he was sleeping around remained true somewhat hurt him. And it confused him. “I didn't think you'd be the type to sleep around when you're usually so… quiet.”

“Ah, right. You and Morihito-san joined a bit late, right? It was a common thing among soldiers before, it just became obscure knowledge as the number grew. People don't like being the center of gossip after all. But it doesn't mean that the practice ended.”

“I… I see…”

“Is that all your questions?” Nozomu asked. To be frank, it was technically all the reasonable questions he could think of. But his mouth had words that went out before he could think.

“How do others approach you for sex?”

“Huh?” Obviously, that question made Nozomu look at him with a bewildered look. Ren flailed his hands from embarrassment from how he was acting.

“I-I mean! I-it’s all a mystery to me! I-I’m just genuinely curious! That’s all I swear! You don't have to answer it! I’m sorry for asking indecent questions!” He excused. He was certain that this was all mere curiosity. Even if he just became interested about this because the topic of the subject is the Captain. That was all there is to it. 

“No… it’s not really a big deal but…” Nozomu scratched his head. “They just ask me straight up where and when… and I respond if I feel like it or not.”

“Ah… I see.” Ren nodded to the answer. “Well, that's all… I’d like to ask…”

“......” Nozomu turned his back on him, seemingly reporting the results of their mission. Ren didn't think of anything, but merely felt his mind cleared compared to yesterday. 

“We’ve got a new assignment, there seems to be reports of Regrets nearby and one found underground was strange so the HQ wanted us to defeat it. Are you up for it?”

Ren looked at him, finally without hesitation. He never noticed it before, but under the empty-colored sky, Nozomu's eyes shone red, a contrast to the blue hue of his own. He bowed slightly. 

“Of course, Captain.”

–

The duo arrived at the area and were met with weary appearances of soldiers.

“Captain Nanase and Lieutenant Munakata are here!” One of the soldiers cried, running towards them in relief. Ren assessed the situation, wincing at the scent of blood around. Luckily, no deaths have happened but the injuries sustained by the soldiers were severe enough to be pulled out from the fight.

“Report the situation to General Oohara immediately and alert him of a medical emergency. We need two soldiers who can standby and wait for the Lieutenant and I.” Nozomu turned to him. “Lieutenant, which soldiers here are capable enough to guard the area and guard the severely injured?”

“The ones at the right should be enough to guard the area. The ones in front of us need to focus on assisting the ones incapable of battle.”

“Alright, you heard him.” Nozomu ordered the soldiers. “We will go to the Regret immediately, the backups General Oohara provides should know what to do if we don’t return on time. Don’t let anyone else get in, understand?”

“Y-yes, Captain!”

“Munakata, let’s go.”

“Right.”

Before the soldier could send a radio report, Nozomu and Ren already dashed into the underground tunnel.

—It was strong.

The scent that entered his nose was nauseating. The underground tunnel, now dried of water, was stained with blood. Ren can only assume the fate of those who were unfortunate to encounter this Regret before this day.

Tap

Nozomu stopped running, going into a defensive stance as they both heard the sound of footsteps drawing near them. Their only source of light were the scattered lamps around the floor as the Regret approached them. Soon, the white form appeared to them. Ren unsheathed his blade out of instinct.

The Regret was unlike what they saw so far, which merely looked like grotesque forms attacking humans. This one… looked similar to a human under a white sheet, as if pretending to be a ghost. But–

–ghosts don’t have bloody claws.

Nozomu ran towards it, attacking it as Ren observed its reaction so that he could deduce his next move. To their surprise, as Nozomu sliced off the Regret’s arms, more Regrets sprouted from it and the original one began laughing maniacally.

“PITIFUL PITIFUL PITIFUL PITIFUL PITIFUL PITIFUL WHAT A PITIFUL CHILD PITIFUL PITIFUL LOOK AT WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE LOOK AT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE”

He tried to ignore what he heard and attacked the newly born Regret, exploding into dust the moment his blade stabbed through it. It was weak, but the rejuvenation and cloning would have been difficult to deal with how fast it was. 

No, but what was difficult to deal with was… its words.

“PITIFUL PITIFUL CHILD ALWAYS ALONE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO PITIFUL PITIFUL YOU WILL BE LEFT BEHIND IN THE END”

“............”

“Ren–! Look out!”

“.......!” Ren snapped out of his daze when the Captain grabbed his sword and used their swords to block the Regret’s attack. Nozomu kicked the Regret towards the sewer in order to provide them distance. He gave back Ren’s sword immediately.

“Ren, focus! Don’t mind its words!”

“!” Ren’s darkened vision lightened up upon hearing the familiar voice. He nodded, accepting the sword and going into position. “R-right. I apologize.”

“It got bigger in size.” Nozomu clicked his tongue. Ren walked beside him and pointed below.

“Captain, I’ve noticed it for a while, but it doesn’t try to jump or anything compared to how some active Regrets act. Perhaps that cover is acting like a shield.”

“Ok…” As the Regret crawled up towards them, muttering the same mocking words, Nozomu dashed towards it and jumped. Ren understood the signal and ran as well and slid down the sewer. The Captain stabbed the head of the Regret, the sound of screeching echoing throughoutt the tunnel. As the Regret attempted to grab Nozomu in retaliation, the Captain kicked off its hands, using the pierced katana as a way to balance himself. Taking advantage of the distraction, Ren jumped towards the Regret, piercing whatever was under it with his katana. A loud screech echoed through the tunnel and the Regret exploded into dust. 

“F–”

“! Captain!”

Ren ran towards the falling soldier catching him as their swords fell into the floor. Although he couldn’t completely catch him, he managed to reduce the momentum of Nozomu’s fall, with the algae-filled sewage water acting at their cushion.

“Thanks, Lieutenant.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah… thanks to you.” Nozomu said. “... You can let go of me now.”

“Ah, right!” Ren blushed and released the Captain as they scrambled to retrieve their swords. He stood up immediately after sheathing his sword back, attempting to pat off the water from his uniform. He noticed that Nozomu seemed preoccupied with something and he went near him.

“Captain?”

“Hey… this…”

He noticed that Nozomu was holding a block of algae, and after removing some of it, they were able to make out a shape.

“A jewelry box?” 

“It’s locked.”

“Ah, let me handle that, Captain.” Ren removed a clip from his hair and bent it, fiddling on the lock for a moment and easily unlocking it.

“You really know a lot…” Nozomu commented as he opened the jewelry box. Inside, they saw a bunch of rusted jewelry, some dirtied by the sewage as well. Though something seemed to catch the Captain’s attention as picked it up. For a moment, he could swear that light flickered in Nozomu’s blank eyes. He looked at the object, it was’t a noteworthy bracelet–it seemed like a merchandise even, similar to the ones Mori used to collect for Sora’s band.

Nozomu stared at it then returned it, closing the jewelry box and standing up. 

“Sorry for that, let’s go back.”

Ren watched him, curious about what the box contained. Though he could somewhat interpret the Captain’s actions for the most part, that was only during battle . When the absence of the need to fight is between them, it’s like there was a wall between them again. Somehow, it bothered him. But he wasn’t in the position to say anything, so he merely followed suit.

 “...Yes.”

“Ah, but before that… are you ok?”

“Huh?”

“The Regret’s words seemed to affect you earlier.”

“Oh…” Ren shifted awkwardly, he didn’t think that Nozomu would bring it up again. ”Well… it distracted me for a bit, but it's fine now that we defeated it.”

“Are you–”

“Wait.” Ren grabbed Nozomu’s arms. His eyes widened upon seeing scratches on the sleeves and red stains on the tear. This only meant one thing. “Captain, you got injured!”

“It’s not a major injury.” Nozomu said and removed Ren’s hands. “I’ll have it disinfected then it will be fine.”

“I’m sorry… it's because I got distracted earlier…”

“No, it's–”

“We have to get going, Captain.” Ren interrupted. “Else others might assume that something grave occurred here. We have to get you treated!”

He walked past Nozomu for the first time, running away from the concern displayed for him, all while grabbing the Captain's arm so they could have the injury tended. Nozomu merely followed after him. They remained silent for the first time in a while, except, this time, it was the first that it had become uncomfortable. But Ren kept his blank expression, disguising his feelings until they returned to their headquarters. The whole time, ignoring the Captain for the rest of the day.

Just when he thought he was doing a good job. He gets the person who was willing to trust him injured, all because of his incompetence.

The words of the Regret circled back in his mind. 

YOU WILL BE LEFT BEHIND IN THE END

‘This is all your fault, because you're not useful at all.’

It’s all his fault. 

–

“So, mind telling us what happened between you and Nozomu?”

A blatant question was thrown at him. Ren rolled his eyes at the Major.

“That's none of your business.”

“Well it is now because it's so damn awkward witnessing the two of you act like strangers all of a sudden.” Soushi retorted. “Just make up already, the tension is annoying.”

“Shut up, Kagurazaka.”

“I won't. You’re suddenly requesting to team with ME of all people. At this point a pig might as well talk to us.”

“I’m not alone with you, Morihito-sama is here.”

“Yeah, after Sora assigned him here to prevent us from killing each other. Now Nanase has now been partnered with someone else for a mission.”

“.......” Ren stayed silent. Of course that outcome would happen, they were soldiers after all. Soushi raised a brow at him.

“What, you confessed to him and he rejected you or something?”

“Sou!” Mori finally interrupted them upon the crude question. “That's none of our business.”

“No such thing happened, Morihito-sama.”

“Ack, I know Ren. I'm not implying anything.”

“Liar.” Soushi said. “You were gossiping it up with Sora last nigh–”

“SOU!” 

Ren stared at his master who was bright red and the nonchalant Major. His expression turned into a frown.

“Why were you with MY master last night?”

“That's for me to know and for you to not butt into.” 

“You–!”

“Ren!” Mori stopped him, and Ren merely clicked his tongue and sheathed back his sword. Soushi leaned back on the wall nonchalantly, ignoring the threat that was about to be made to him. 

“... Morihito-sama. Why?” He could only ask. Mori merely smiled at him, a rare smile, something he had never seen before from his master. Ren felt turmoil inside. Mori could smile like that because of Kagurazaka Soushi? No, he could recall a time when Mori also smiled like that, that was when he met Sora for the first time. 

Ren looked down, staring down at his katana and contemplated.

Truthfully, he’d felt it for a long time since Mori discovered Sora’s music. The Prince who had gotten used to faking smiles, wore a genuine one for the first time since they were children. Childish tendencies which pops out whenever he’s with Sora, something that Ren never saw. And despite Soushi’s brash attitude towards him, there seemed to be some sort of mutual understanding between the two unspoken. No matter how harsh Soushi could be, he was always covering for Mori, accepting hits that could’ve resulted in fatal injuries if it were Mori. A connection between the three that Ren can’t enter, that was how he saw it. 

‘WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE LOOK AT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE’

He gripped his sword. Mori seemed to notice something as he approached Ren.

“Ren, is there something wrong?”

“...... Nothing, Morihito-sama. I’m just feeling cold, that’s all. Please excuse me.” He muttered, avoiding eye contact and leaving his master and the major behind, not hearing Soushi’s confused comment.

“Huh, but it's a hot day today.”

—

Plop Plop Plop

“..........................................”

“..................................”

“..........” 

Ren turned off the faucet, staring down the drain as droplets of water got into his eyes. But he ignored it, not blinking, merely staring. His whole body felt numb. 

“... Lieutenant Munakata?” 

“.........” The voice of the person he had been avoiding rang in the restroom. He turned to his right and saw the Captain approaching him. Ren merely looked at the other with a blank stare. This time, the normally blank eyes of Nozomu showed a hint of worry as he looked at Ren from head to toe.

“... You…”

“Greetings Captain,” He bowed, attempting to make things normal despite how in disarray his appearance was at the moment. Nozomu didn’t reply to his greeting and only went near. At that moment, Ren felt cloth on his head, rubbing his hair dry.

“Your whole head is wet.” Nozomu murmured. Ren didn’t reply, only looking at the Captain’s neck in front of him. He expected questions, either an order to dry himself off or about ignoring him for the past two weeks. However, the Captain didn’t say anything, drying off Ren’s hair silently, and gently. It was the first time someone did this for him and he felt something spread across his chest.  The way Nozomu dried his hair felt nice… and warm.

“I haven’t seen you at all today. Are you ok?”

He knew in his heart that he should stay silent, that there was no point in talking about it. But,

“... I was merely pondering on some things, that’s all.”

“I see.”

“................” Nozomu didn’t ask further, but he could feel that the Captain was staring at him. He deflected. 

“... Say, Captain, you and Major Nanase are close, right?”

“Hm? My brother? Yes, why?”

“... What would you have done if you were told that you had to be distances apart from each other?”

“Hmm, as long as my brother is alive and well, and as long as we have contact with each other somehow, I’m fine with it. Distance won’t affect our relationship as brothers.”

“........” This was the first time he had ever heard more about the Nanases, and yet, to think that the Captain was so strong about it. It was admirable, it was a painful reminder of his own helplessness. Ren smiled pathetically. 

“What makes you ask about that?”

“.............” Ren glanced behind Nozomu, and the other seemed to understand.

“The walls are thick in this restroom. Plus, no one goes here a lot because of the broken lights. If you want more assurance, I placed a sign in front to make sure no one tries to go here.”

Ren stared at Nozomu, a bit surprised by the consideration. Because of it, somehow, he felt like the feelings he stored inside were about to overflow.

“Captain, no one really ever talks about my and Morihito-sama’s history, don’t they?”

“Yeah.” Although Morihito’s status as a prince raised questions, with the attacks of Regrets, it became one of the most obscure matters people attend to. Especially with how Ren tried to protect Mori’s privacy. In the end, their former identities merely became an old fact.

“..... Truthfully, I too, refuse to talk about it but… remember what you asked me before?”

“Why did you remain as a Lieutenant?”

In the end, he never answered that question, and Nozomu never pushed him too.

“... Yeah.”

“People say that it’s because I’m afraid to be separated from Morihito-sama… and I won’t deny that. I’ve been serving Morihito-sama ever since I was a child, it was the first and only duty I was raised for. Maybe it’s strange for others, but I never minded it. After all, I do like Morihito-sama.”

“By like, you mean…”

“Ah, right, people may mistake it as a romantic one, but it’s not that… Morihito-sama has always been a kind person, even to someone like me, he treated me like a human when we were kids. Our family has always served the Ariharas for generations, and I was raised to serve him… and the elders in my family weren’t pleased by the fact that I was close to Morihito-sama…”

He trailed off, he glanced at Nozomu again, wanting to make sure it was ok to continue. Nozomu gave him a gentle look, and Ren could feel fingertips slowly patting his hair through the towel. The way he was being treated made him feel weak, it was uncomfortable, but he found himself unable to stop.

“... I was treated… harshly, because of it… and during my childhood days… I just… snapped. I was taken away from the scene before I could process whatever was happening, and well, despite that he was also a child, Morihito-sama defended me. And in the end, I escaped punishment for what happened because of him… and because of me, Morihito-sama’s reputation took a plunge… because of me…”

Ren gripped his wrists, remembering the events that occurred vividly in his mind. The feeling of being punished, how everything became too much. Although he couldn’t remember what he had exactly done. The memory of being covered with blood, despite the bruises on his body, he could tell that it wasn’t his, was still fresh in his mind. The scornful looks everyone gave Mori, who protected him. It was all his fault that his master received that treatment.

“... I wanted to protect Morihito-sama, but in the end, he was the one who protected me. Someone like me… did that to him. And yet, he held no grudge against me… I never deserved that kindness… even so… I couldn’t bring myself to distance myself from him. I still clung to him… in the end, as his guard dog… I still didn’t know my place…”

“Lieutenant.”

“I wanted to provide some sort of comfort to him at least. I dedicated myself to the role I was assigned to, to protect him. But someone like me couldn’t even see that I couldn’t be someone he felt at ease with…”

“Munakata.”

“But what did that all amount to? The one who could give him something special was Sora-san and Kagurazaka. I… I have no place in his life. I don’t have a reason to exist any–”

“Ren!”

His words were cut off as a hand pressed on his back, pushing him towards Nozomu. Before he knew it, he found himself wrapped around the Captain’s arms. The cold sensation of his damp hair hit him, as well as the warm trail of liquid flowing down his cheeks from his eyes. 

“... ‘Reason’ shouldn’t be the one that’s driving you to live.”

“But what else am I here for?! I… I could’t be anything important to my master!” Ren wailed.

“It’s your own choice on what you want to do.” Nozomu said, stroking Ren’s hair gently. “And Morihito-san values you more than you think, just not in the way that he values Sora and Soushi-san. I assure you that it's a misunderstanding on your part.”

“What makes you say that…”

“That day I asked you that question… before that, I actually confronted Sora about it, and Morihito-san happened to be present as well.”

“.....” Ren sniffled, feeling his breathing feel lighter compared to earlier. The warmth from the embrace slowly registered into him as the Captain continued speaking. 

“Before Sora could conjure an excuse, Morihito-san requested me to get along with you. I guess he was partly behind the strange teaming that was happening between us as well. I confronted him about it since I didn’t like the idea of them scheming something without your knowledge. I know how much you liked Morihito-san after all.”

“Huh…” The idea that his own master was the reason behind them being separated felt colder than the water he splashed on himself earlier.

“Well, he explained that he was concerned about you not getting along well with others. In his own words, ‘ he’s like a younger brother to me. ’ According to him, you didn't dislike me, so he hoped we could get along.”

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Captain.”

“I don’t have a reason to lie. If you’d like, you can ask Morihito-san himself. That was why I ended up asking you that day, I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to cause discomfort to you.”

For some reason, that didn’t make Ren feel better.

“... then, did you start talking to me more because of his request…?”

“Well, partially. It was mostly my own interest.” Nozomu loosened his grip and released Ren from the embrace, disappointing the Lieutenant a little bit. He grabbed something from his pocket and began wiping off the tears from Ren’s face with a handkerchief. “I just realized that we don’t really know much about each other despite working closely. I kept my distance, and you paid no attention to anyone else. We weren’t like Sora, Morihito-san, and Kagurazaka who kept pestering each other. So, in the least, I wanted to get to know you.”

“I see…” Relief washed over him, though, “I apologize though… there’s nothing interesting about me, a person whose life is centered around Morihito-sama.”

“That’s not true, we’ve been together a lot without Morihito-san’s presence.”

“Still…”

“Does it matter to you if it’s interesting or not?”

“Not really… perhaps it’s just the first time someone told me they want to get to know me.”

“Well, I like you, so I want to get to know you more.” Nozomu told him, and he didn’t know if he was mistaking it, but he could see a small smile on the Captain’s face. Ren felt his face become warm, his chest feeling warm as well. 

“... I… I don’t hate the Captain.” He answered,“But… thank you.”

“Are you feeling better now?” Nozomu asked, taking the towel off his head and placing it around his neck. “I’ll accompany you to your room, you can borrow that towel.”

“Hmm…” Ren clutched his shirt, although he was finally able to let out something he had been keeping to himself for years, he still felt cold. Was it because of the words of the Regret earlier? Or was he still reeling from the continuous attack on his emotions for the past few weeks? All he knew is that being alone right now would mean dealing with the cold feeling more.

“Lieutenant?”

And he also knew that for some reason, the Captain felt warm. 

“...it’s still cold.”

“Pardon?”

There was a lingering fear in his mind that this was a terrible idea, no, it was already telling him to back out.

“... I feel cold.”

After baring the deepest depths of himself, his mind and heart weren’t cooperating.

“Oh, then–”

Ren leaned on Nozomu’s chest, attempting to snuggle up to him. “Captain, please, keep me warm.”

He watched as the body he was leaning on stiffened for a second, before Nozomu lightly touched his shoulders. Ren wasn’t being pushed away.

“Lieutenant, you’ll have to be clearer, or this can cause a misunderstanding.”

He wasn’t being rejected. So, in a desperate plea, he grabbed one of Nozomu’s hands and pressed it onto his chest. Deep in his mind, he was scolding himself for the boldness and shamelessness, asking for something he doesn’t have an experience with, in an attempt to keep warm. This wasn’t an act appropriate for Arihara Morihito’s guard nor a soldier in a war against Regrets. Yet tonight, there was a wish blooming in his heart, to not be seen as a guard or a soldier, but just Munakata Ren.

“Please, keep me warm tonight, Nozomu-san.”

—

“Munakata… wake up.”

“Hnnghh–!” Ren flinched when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, out of reflex he grabbed the person and almost threw them over his shoulder, only to stop when he was pinned down instead. He opened his eyes and saw Nozomu staring down at him. Realizing his mistake, he quickly attempted to pry off the Captain and sat up from embarrassment.

“I-I apologize, Captain–! I was half-asleep so out of reflex I just!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Nozomu said, massaging his shoulder that Ren grabbed earlier. “Moreover, is your body alright?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Can you stand properly?”

“Uhm…” Ren stood up from the bed, wincing a bit from the pain from his hips. “It hurts a little but I can manage it.”

“That’s not good.” Nozomu went near him, draping a bathrobe over his naked body, which he had only realized now. “Go and clean up, I heated up the bath for you. It’s still early, but you should feel better after even going back to sleep.”

“...... Alright, thank you… Captain.” Ren muttered. There was a strange feeling to call Nozomu by his title in the situation they were in, but he couldn’t help it. 

By the time he went into the hot bath, the situation sunk in. 

He actually slept with Nozomu.

Ren wasn’t sure about the ethical matters of sleeping with someone of a higher position or the fact that he just gave his body to seek comfort from his technically superior. However, the undeniable truth was he actually participated in an activity that he merely treated as a necessary activity for procreating. Moreover, realizing that his question from before that pried into Nozomu’s sexual life just made him look like he was plotting it all along dawned on him. There was a thought of explaining, but that would’ve made it more suspicious.

Moreover, the fact that he was just casually doing this kind of thing with someone was suspect. No, rather, he could only imagine it with Nozomu. In fact, he had already done it with Nozomu.

Ren groaned, sinking into the water as he contemplated.

Even so, he immediately came out of the bathroom once he finished, using another bathrobe that Nozomu provided him. Like he was told, the pain on his body was gone and he was feeling rather refreshed. The Captain was still in his pajamas, lying on the bed with seemingly freshly changed sheets. Once their eyes met, Nozomu sat up.

“Munakata, I already had your uniform cleaned. Do you wish to change into them? Or if you plan to sleep more, you can borrow my clothes first.”

“O-oh… Well,” Ren glanced at the digital clock on the drawer, it was still around 4 AM. Now that he was out of the bath, his body clock was aware of the time and drowsiness immediately took over. “I-I’ll sleep more…”

“Alright, is your body ok now?” Nozomu asked as he handed some of his pajamas. 

“Y-yeah… thanks…” He looked at the bed again, “About the bedsheets, please let me clean them up as compensation at least.”

“Ah, that. You don’t have to. Rather, it was torn from what we were doing so you can’t really wash it.”

“Oh…”

“What’s wrong?” Nozomu asked, nudging the Lieutenant to lie down on the bed, to which Ren found himself following. He couldn’t tell what was strange, the fact that he was casually laying down on someone else’s bed or the fact that it feels natural to him about lying on the bed with someone else. 

“The more I stay here, the more I am reminded that I showed you a lot of my shameful and indecent sides yesterday.”

“You don’t have to worry about me spilling anything. I’ll take your secrets to my grave.

“Am I supposed to be reassured?”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

Ren stared at the Captain’s composed expression. Even during the act, Nozomu seemed composed as well, aside from a few blushes. Although he himself was losing his composure from the pleasure that he experienced for the first time. 

“... I bore a lot of my sides to you.” He muttered, lying on the bed and covering himself with the blanket.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.” Ren muttered, “I’ll go back to sleep now, Captain.”

“Hmm, sweet dreams.”

Nozomu turned off the lights again, and lay down on the bed. With their backs against each other like this, Ren could feel the warmth of the Captain’s body. He was grateful for the darkness, else he would have been too aware of what expression he was wearing. Now that he was lying on the bed again, he could recall the kisses he received from Nozomu. To think that he received all that because of his impulsive decisions after pouring his heart out. 

Now, his heart was pounding, even though he wasn’t sick. He didn’t understand what the feeling meant, but his instincts told him to keep it to himself.

“Then what do you want me to do?”

Had he been in the same impulsive state from earlier, perhaps he would have an answer to the question. But for now, he will have to deal with the pounding of his heart.

—

“Oi, Munakata, have you seen Sora and that pretty rich prince?”

“Haaaaa? Watch your damn mouth Kagurazaka.” Ren hissed at the Major. 

It was a new day, rather, the continuation of the morning. As usual, every soldier had gone to their respective jobs, and Ren was writing up reports of his missions to make note of unusual incidents. And of course, a job means having to deal with Kagurazaka at one point.

“What? Your radar doesn’t work today?”

“The hell are you implying? Back off. Just because I have accepted that you and Morihito-sama are in… a relationship doesn’t mean I approve of you.”

“Oh-ho?” Instead of retorting, Soushi gave him an amused look, as if he saw something new. The cocky expression was annoying, or rather, Soushi to him in general is annoying so he glared at the Major.

“Ho–?”

“Heyya!! We found ‘em! Sou! Ren! Here!” Sora waved at them, with Mori and Nozomu walking next to his sides, carrying a stack of paper each. Soushi waved at them, approaching them and grabbing the papers Sora and Mori were carrying then placing it in front of Ren’s table.

“What’s up, Sou? You look amused.”

“Looks like Nozomu and the Guard Dog made up.”

“Ehh?! Reallyyy?!” Sora smiled excitedly, a bit too excited. Ren ignored them and gave Mori his best pen as his master sat down as well.

“His glare earlier contained pure contempt and hatred.”

“That’s how you judged it?” Mori laughed exasperately.

“You talk as if we were fighting in the first place.” Ren rolled his eyes.

“Were you? Nozomu, answer that.”

“We weren’t.” The Captain answered fast, rummaging through the papers in front of him. For some reason, Sora still seemed excited, which is a mystery to Ren.

“That’s good! That’s good! It’s good to get along~”

“What are you, their mom?”

Sora grinned at Soushi and continued on to his reports, ranting a bit about their superiors as the five of them arranged the papers. As their work was about to finish, a certain soldier unexpectedly invited himself on their table.

“Hey~ It’s the wind boys~” Arata plopped himself beside Sora, who had an empty seat next to him. “That’s a lot of paperwork.”

“Well, things have been hectic recently.” Sora sighed. “Those assholes have been complaining to me about letting things slide just because I got this stupid injury and couldn’t fight for a while.”

“Sora is too kind after all.” Arata said, leaning onto the General’s shoulder, ignoring the glare given to him by Soushi who was seated beside them. “You, Shu-san, and Shiki-san tend to get a lot of earful from them.”

“Don’t lump in Sora and Shu-san with Shiki-san. Shiki-san straight up ignores them.”

“It’s funny with Shiki-san though. He will listen but will ignore them still if they don’t give him relevant points.”

“I just don’t understand why I have to be dealing with them though.” Sora sighed, accepting the water bottle Mori handed him and drank with a tired expression.

“Like I said, you’re too kind.” The Major shrugged. “Generals and Colonels generally don’t listen to them. They just do their own thing, after all, what can they do? Those guys are just cowards hiding behind soldiers as their walls for protection.”

“And then, Sora and Shu-san somehow get the short end of the stick.” Soushi groaned.

Arata chuckled and pinched both of Sora’s cheeks, earning a whine from the General. “Sora is the baby General after all~ Takaaki-san and Sou-san are smooth with their words to avoid conflict, and I don’t think those guys even have the courage to face Shun-san head on. Our Lord Zessei’s icy glare is enough to make them shake. And don’t even get me started on the Colonels. Well, Kouki is the one who mostly listens to them anyway.”

“That does sound convincing coming from someone who claims he’s looking for a worthy master.” 

“Of course~ I’m a lonely dog looking for a master~ I’m jealous of Ren here who already has his master.”

Ren huffed at the Major. “What does that have to do with anything? Why are you even chatting here, Major Uduki? Don’t you have anything to do?”

“I just feel a little restless these days, like a dog waiting for its owner.”

“What kind of description even is that?”

“Say what you want but that’s really how I feel.” Arata said, leaning onto Sora again. “It’s just a feeling I’ve been having since the reports of Regrets slowly shaping into humans. Like something is about to happen~ Shun-san has been looking like that as well after all.”

“Eh?” Sora turned to the Major. “Really?”

“Yup– hey, keep this a secret, but I actually feel a bit of comradery with Lord Zessei. He always looks like he’s looking for someone, and I feel like we are looking for the same person.”

“How can you look for someone you have never met?”

“Right?” Arata said. “That’s why I believe in it. My gut feelings are never wrong.”

“No offense but don’t you feel like your pursuit is pointless sometimes?” Soushi asked.

“Hmm… Nope! I believe in what I’m doing. Hell, if I have any regrets, then it's the fact that I haven’t found my Master yet.”

“Huh…”

“Lord Soutei! You’re being called to!”

“Ah, looks like I have to go.” Arata stood up, “Sora here looks like he’s going to have another order coming up.”

“Eugh.”

“Come on now,” Soushi groaned. “Well, nothing we can do. I’ll help you carry the reports.”

“Ok… oh right, Nozomu, Ren, can you go on a little patrol in the town that was recently attacked?” Sora requested as he stacked up the papers together. “I know it’s kind of beyond your work time now and the town is ok, but I just want to make sure since the attack was really severe. You two are pretty swift after all.”

“Alright.”

“Yes, Sora-san.”

Sora smiled at them. “I’m glad you two made up.”

Ren merely gave him a confused look again. He really doesn’t understand Sora’s motivations at all. But he wouldn’t reject it, for now.

–

Several months had passed.

He felt like an addict. No, maybe he could be considered as one.

Despite the fact that the Captain told him that he only sleeps with people once, Ren simply couldn’t forget the night they spent together. And, with a clear mind, he attempted to request to do it again. And Nozomu accepted his request.

One, became, twice, and before he knew it, he kept coming back for more. For some reason, Nozomu never rejected his advances. Before he knew it, the act became normal between them. Ren didn’t think that he would be addicted to the feeling of being kissed and held. He enjoyed the warmth he received during those nights. So much that it was all also confusing him.

He wasn’t addicted to the act itself. If he was, then he would’ve attempted to sleep with others. But he feels disgusted at the mere thought of being touched intimately by anyone other than Nozomu. 

Of course, he couldn’t bring this one up to the person himself.

“I think you already know the answer yourself.”

That’s why, of all people, the most rational person he could think to consult was Lieutenant Sakuraba?

“I don’t.”

Ryouta mindlessly drank from his cup. “You already know the nature of the relationships of Arihara, Kagurazaka, and Sora. I’m sure you could equate those together.”

“Not really.”

“Stubborn, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… Morihito-sama had yearned for Sora-san from the very beginning. Kagurazaka kept picking fights with Morihito-sama and was already very protective of Sora-san.”

“Your point is?”

“The three of them had paid each other attention from the beginning. The Captain and I… never really did that. We didn’t dislike each other nor did we try to get in each other’s way. We were simply on the same team.”

“Does that really matter now? The nature of your relationship has changed since… or are you just afraid of rejection?”

“.......”

“You are, huh?”

Ren sighed. He couldn’t help it. Although it had helped him clear his mind when he opened up to Nozomu, he noticed that he is the one mostly receiving help from the Captain. And even with seeing his coworkers enter relationships, the uncertainty in their situations in the world they live in makes the thought even terrifying. He’s terrified alone at the thought of losing Mori. 

The fellow Lieutenant watched then spoke,

“Ren, have you ever thought about what it’s like to have Chlorosis?”

“Can’t say I haven’t…”

“Then, I’ll explain to you.” Ryouta took a lock of his hair which was pure white. “I’m more sensitive towards feeling the presence of Regrets, and my mind is constantly haunted by all the negative feelings I have. After all, the weaker your heart, the more Regret can affect you. The feeling is as if it’s attempting to drown me in the Regrets of my heart, until I’m Pure White. That kind of feeling.”

“I see…”

Ryouta smiled, as if thinking of a fond memory. “When I got this Chlorosis, when the world turned upside down, I thought, ‘Ah, this is no good.’ As someone who grew up sick, I always had regrets on things I couldn’t do.”

“However, once I got this and saw the Regrets, I thought that I didn’t want to become like that. Closing my heart left me vulnerable with this disease, and I was afraid of succumbing to it.”

“I see…” He heard of cases of Chlorosis, but usually, the person who has it easily succumbs to it and becomes a Regret. Cases like Ryouta were rare, but it seemed like the person himself was doing all he could to prevent it from getting worse after all. “How did you overcome it?”

“... Opening my heart to a certain someone.” Ryouta answered. “That person always sees through me, but it’s different when you make the choice to open up.”

“Huh… wasn’t it… tough, do that?”

“It was going to take a lot of burden off my shoulders, so even if things didn’t turn out the way I wanted to, I would have no regrets about my choice.”

“... no regrets…”

He is someone with a lot of regrets in his life, if he made a choice again, what would happen to him?

–

Days passed since his conversation with Ryouta, and Ren still couldn’t form a conclusion. He decided to bury it for now and focus on fighting. Regrets have become more and more intelligent in the recent months, their forms becoming humans, as if they have reverted to their former self. However they were still Regrets, and they merely looked like humans of a blank white.

It doesn’t help that there seemed to have been conflicts with former General Shiki that he went rogue, along with Colonel Rikka. It was complete chaos within the HQ. However, the battle doesn’t end and they find themselves patrolling more and more.

And on this night, he and Nozomu just finished fending off the Regrets in an abandoned Dome. It wasn’t something they usually do with others, but whenever they are alone, Ren had gotten used to the Captain roaming around places where it is abandoned and looking for certain objects. At first, it was strange for him, but he had realized that the Captain was using the objects to make memorials for those who lost their lives in this apocalypse. 

Though sometimes, Nozomu would often stare at some objects without explanation.

Like right now, he was staring at an abandoned phone with a phone case.

“Captain, I have been wondering for a while now, but why do you sometimes look at the things you collect for memorials?” He asked. Nozomu stood up, patting away the dust from the phone.

“Some of these remind me of my brother’s days as a bassist.”

“Major Nanase was a bassist?”

“Ah, have I never told you about it?”

“No… not really.”

“I see… before you became a soldier did you ever listen to bands before?”

“No, the only music I listened back then was contemporary music as recommended to ease my… tendencies.” He replied awkwardly. “The only band I knew was Sora-san's band, which Morihito-sama is a fan of.”

“Ah, right. Now that I think about it, my brother being a bassist was also the reason why Sora and I became close as well.”

“This is the first time I’ve heard of this.” Nozomu never ever did talk about himself. Although he opened up, Ren felt like it was unaccounted for to ask about the Captain’s past. Even though he really did want to know more about it. 

“Well… I don’t… talk a lot.” The Captain began walking and Ren followed. “My brother was part of a really famous band back then, and the things you often see me looking at are merches from his days as a bassist. I really admired him, even now. And I wanted to ease his burdens a little, he was the one who raised me since our parents died, after all.”

“O-oh… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s been a long time. Though, I still remember arguing with them.”

“........”

“They didn’t have much time for me when I was young, and I was upset about that. I ended up lashing out at them for it, then the next moment, they were gone. My last conversation with them was an argument.”

“Captain…”

Nozomu sighed. “It’s not that painful anymore, but I do regret it. That’s why when it was only me and niicha–brother, I tried to be as quiet to not cause him trouble… and I guess I never really grew out of it.”

“........” Somehow, Ren understood a bit. Ryouta’s words echoed to him. 

“I would have no regrets about my choice.”

Speaking and keeping quiet, those were both choices made so that they won’t have regrets. Nozomu chose to keep quiet and keep his distance in order to avoid saying things he would end up regretting.

“I can’t control my mouth well… so I ended up saying things to you before that ended up triggering you… I’m still sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, Captain.”

“Huh?”

“.......” Ren pulled Nozomu’s clothes, silently asking him to stay still and listen. “If you never said anything back then… then nothing would have changed between us. We would merely be a Captain and a Lieutenant towards each other.”

Since childhood, Ren couldn’t control his actions. The result sometimes ended grimly, and ended up causing trouble to the person important to him. As a soldier, he couldn’t help but retaliate whenever his master was offended. And in an emotional state, he requested intimacy from Nozomu. Even now, he’s easily shaken by things, despite his revered strength.

Hearing the testimonies of Arata, Ryouta, and Nozomu, there was a clear answer in his mind. Things that he wished for that couldn’t be fulfilled, things that he hid, or things that he said. Some he can control, some he couldn’t–regardless, it was all part of him. He was human after all. These were choices he made for himself, even if it didn’t result in what he wanted.

But in all of these, there was one common factor.

He was listening to his Heart.

It had taken a while for him to realize, but his heart was already set on something before his mind could realize.

And to him, Nozomu is…

“We weren’t that close, nor did we hate each other. But it’s different now, I like hearing you talk, Captain. I like it when you’re considerate of me. I like it when you’re abiding with my senseless requests. I like it… when you’re this close to me.”

“.... Munakata…”

“Captain, I–”

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Ren and Nozomu looked at each other as Nozomu’s dial rang. He answered it immediately and a panicked voice echoed through the device.

“Nozomu! Ren is with you right? You both come back to the headquarters quickly! We have an emergency!”

They looked at each other and nodded, immediately heading towards the headquarters without wasting any time.

“Sora!” Nozomu yelled as they found the others. Sora looked strange. He donned the uniform he wore back when he was still on the battlefield. However, Sora had barely gotten better from his injury.

“Nozomu, Ren! You two are finally here.” Sora said, his expression grim and serious with Kouki standing beside him.

“What happened?” Kensuke asked.

“It’s an emergency. Lord Shigoku was infected with severe Chlorosis and escaped. Worse, Colonel Shiwasu and Yayoi, Major Uduki, and Lieutenant Satsuki and Kisaragi helped him escape.”

“ That much manpower went rogue?!” Soushi asked in disbelief.

“Not only that, Colonel Rei-san and Shu-san followed Shiki-san and went rogue. And things aren’t already bad, there’s a huge wave of Regrets spotted approaching the place where the First Explosion happened.” Sora groaned.

“What?!”

“Lord Zessei ordered us to go after Lord Shigoku. So now we have to prepare for a pursuit. It’s dangerous for General Mutsuki to succumb to Regret, we all know his power so… Lord Zessei said to prioritize him.” Kouki stated. A few groans were heard from the group, although Sora's expression was different.

“So, do we chase after him now?” Mamoru asked.

“No.” Sora interrupted. Everyone looked at him, however, his expression didn’t falter.

“We aren’t following Shun-san’s orders.” He spoke, his voice low and determined. “The number of Regrets gathering at one place means we can exterminate them easily. And since it’s closer to the source of the First Explosion, there must be something that’s happening in there.”

“But… Lord Zessei’s orders…”

“Shun-san is undoubtedly strong. But I’m also a General so this is an order from me. At one point, he will end up chasing after Hajime-san and confront him anyway. That’s far more fair of a fight than us confronting Hajime-san.”

“Right…”

“Alright, I trust you on this Sora.” Kouki smiled.

“Kou-kun… thanks.” Sora smiled as well. He turned to them and gave out his orders.

“Kou, Ken, Ryou, and Mamoru will be leading these troops on the northern point, the rest of us will carry on to the west point. I’ve already consulted Takaaki-san to lead the other directions. Prepare for medics and such, we will be camping there for a while. Understood?”

“Yes!” The rest of the soldiers said.

“And…”

“Fight until what’s left is the Heart?” Kouki asked. Sora pondered and shook his head.

“Fight, and Live without Regrets.”

“Sora…”

“Alright, dismissed!”

–

Just as Sora suspected, it seemed that Lord Zessei chose to pursue Lord Shigoku himself. 

Meanwhile Ren and the others have been suppressing the Regrets as much as they could. The battle was the fiercest they’ve had, as the Regrets took the shape of full humans, their strength and violence unparalleled to what it was in the past. Even Sora returned to the battlefield despite Mori and Soushi’s protests, and despite their concerns, his presence was a huge help to them.

As they became closer to the First Explosion, there was a feeling that Ren couldn’t shake off. And from how he observed others, they felt it too.

“Hope?”

“Yeah.” Sora answered, pouring another cup of warm water for himself. “Don’t you all feel it as well?”

“Well…” Just as he suspected, that was the feeling they all shared. Although Ren wasn’t the most positive person in the place, even he yearned it before, the feeling of hope.

“Sora, I have a question.”

“Eh-!? Nozomu is speaking?!” Sora said, obviously shocked at the normally quiet man. Ren hid his surprise at Sora’s reaction, briefly forgetting that Nozomu was usually quiet around others.

“Anyway, I was curious about what you said before. Why ‘Live Without Regrets?’”

“Ah… that…” Sora smiled solemnly. “IIt’s a long story, and I haven’t told anyone this, but back then, when I was hospitalized from my injuries, I had a secret visitor.”

“What? Someone managed to sneak in to visit you?” Soushi asked with a bewildered expression. Ren couldn’t blame him. Sora was fairly popular among the soldiers and even the usually distant Generals due to his friendliness, and he almost had a visitor every second during visiting hours.

“Yeah… everytime he left, someone always comes in next immediately… that’s why I suspected he kept it a secret so I also didn’t say anything… and it’s not my place to say this but… us Generals tend to be… weird. So I just ignored it.”

Sora sighed. “Well, the way he approached me was strange. Though I rarely spoke to him in the first place. He was muttering things, and I couldn’t hear it properly, but I think he said something along the lines of things being in place. ”

“Wait… this person you speak of…”

Sora looked at them with a hesitant expression. “It’s Shun-san.”

“Lord Zessei?!” Everyone exclaimed.

“Yeah… his behavior back then… I don’t know why, but in the back of my mind I thought… it’s as if he’s pure white… Like a Regret… no, it was as if he’s Regret itself.”

“Sora…”

“There were a bunch of times when I thought some things were strange. Like how Shiki-san went rogue without an explanation, but it seems like Shu-san and the others had an idea of what was happening. And recently, I’ve been having strange dreams, or visions. I can’t remember what it is but I know that it happens.”

“When did it start?” Ren asked.

“............... When Hajime-san was announced to be infected with Chlorosis.”

“That recent?”

“Yeah… and, there’s still one thing that’s bothering me.” Sora muttered.

“What?”

“Did… Haji–... Did Lord Shigoku always exist?”

“---!!”

“Argh!”

Ren winced when a piercing headache came over him, and from other’s reactions, it seemed that they also received it.

“Sora… elaborate…” Soushi said, pressing his cup on his forehead, in what Ren can only assume was an attempt to soothe the ache.

“... It’s strange. My mind just accepts that we’ve known Hajime-san since forever, but I can’t recall an event we spent together or him with others for that matter. As if I knew about his existence, but I have no memories of him. And I have interacted with every General in Minerva.”

“Eugh… it’s weird. It’s as if my mind is blocking any way to question that…” Mori sighed.

“It really is huh…”

“So… Sorry to interrupt your story Sora,” Nozomu said. “But I still wonder how it connects to what you said the other day.”

“Ah, right I was getting into it!” Sora chuckled. “Well, it’s just my gut feeling with everything that’s happening. I know the situation is dire, a lot of our capable soldiers went rogue and I heard that even Kai-san escaped… but for some reason, I felt hope.”

“Hope?”

“Yeah… that this would be our final battle with Regret… Hajime-san and Shun-san’s actions have been extreme, but it feels as if it’s a climax, you know?”

“Sora…”

“That’s why I wanted to tell everyone to Live. So that they would see what can happen once everything is over. To see a world with no Regrets, once again.”

“A world without Regrets huh…” Soushi muttered. “I never really thought about coming this far ahead.”

“Well, considering how everything suddenly turned upside down, I can understand the sentiment.” Mori chuckled.

“Even so, I think it’s really going to happen!” Sora exclaimed. “Just thinking about what we can do after it’s over!”

“That far huh…”

“Yeah, so… I wanna ask a bit, what do you guys ever plan to do once we can rebuild the world again?” Sora asked them.

“I never really thought about that… I did become a soldier for survival, I don’t know. Maybe get a job?” Soushi said aimlessly, he glanced at Mori. “What about you Prince? You going back there?”

“I doubt that.” Mori chuckled. “I already gave up my position, so I’d be a normal citizen.”

“What about you, Nozomu?!” Sora asked. Ren watched the Captain as he pondered.

“I think… I’ll follow whatever my brother plans to do.”

“Eh–? Oh right, Izuru-san was a bassist, is he planning to come back on stage?”

“I don’t know, I think he hasn’t thought about it yet, but whatever it is, I’ll most likely do it as well.”

“Isn’t that overkill?” Soushi asked, looking a bit in disbelief at Nozomu’s words. “You’re not being like Munakata over there with Mori, are you?”

“Ka.gu.ra.za.ka.”

“It’s not.” Nozomu interrupted, glancing at Ren. “My brother and I never really had to stick with each other. Even as a bassist before, it’s not like I stuck to him whenever. I was satisfied knowing he’s happy with what he’s doing. I just want to do what he will do.”

“That’s… really vague.” Sora commented. Nozomu shrugged.

“What about you, Sora?”

“Uhh me… well, I want to make music again… and form a band.” The General said shyly.

“Sora~!” Mori’s eyes sparkled at the answer, obviously delighted at the thought of his favourite composer coming back.

“A band?” Soushi asked.

“Yeah~! Honestly, I want to invite you all to be part of it!”

“I’d love to, of course!” Mori answered almost immediately.

“Woah, jumped into the wagon all too quickly.” Soushi said he looked at Ren. ”You’re gonna follow him?” 

“......” Ren was already thinking about it. He will follow Mori of course, he is Ren’s only family at this point. He had never thought about what he wanted to do, but there was one thing he wanted, and it wasn’t related to Mori. He peeked at Nozomu, who met his eyes and looked down on his glass. Mori seemed to notice his dilemma and spoke.

“Ah, Ren, you don’t have too–”

“... I will, but I’m not sure if I’m qualified for it.” Ren answered. “... and maybe I will try new things as well…”

“Woah?! Really?!” Sora exclaimed. “That’s cool!”

“Ren could be a keyboardist.” Mori said happily, “He can’t display it right now, but he’s really good at the piano!”

“Morihito-sama… it’s not that much of a big deal.”

“Heh~? Getting shy now?” Soushi teased Ren who just huffed at him.

“Then, Nozomu will be the bassist! Do you wanna?” Sora asked. Ren observed the Captain, who merely looked down.

“... I’ll think about it.”

“Then Sou will be on the drums!”

“Hold it hold it hold it–” Soushi interrupted. “I have never touched the drums my whole damn life.”

“I can teach you!”

“You’re determined about this, huh?” Soushi laughed.

“Haha, sorry, I'm just excited over the idea…” Sora sighed wistfully, “It feels like forever since my mind entertained these kinds of thoughts instead of wondering if the world was going to be in this state forever.”

“I can’t blame you for that.” 

“And… this is really cheesy but I’m glad I met you guys.” Sora said. 

“I know that people revere my… heart as strong, but I feel weak often.” The General sighed. “Everything changed too fast and before I knew it, instead of holding a guitar I was holding a katana. I’m not the most fit person yet I found myself on the frontlines, protecting people’s lives. Then, the HQ would often scold and pressure me over reputations despite the fact that I was risking my life over and over again.”

“Sora…”

“You held out this far,” Soushi said. “I say you’ve done well despite everything.Those geezers are annoying but you managed to hold out and somehow not kill them.”

“Sou…”

“And you’re a natural leader.” Nozomu commented. “People feel at ease around you.”

“Nozomu..!”

“And even if you never picked up the sword before, you’ve made it up with your strategy and speed. Your fighting style is undoubtedly difficult to pull off, especially for an inexperienced person.” Ren commented as well. 

It wasn’t a lie, undoubtedly, out of all of them, Ren has experience with swordsmanship the most. When he first met Sora, he was impressed with the latter’s ability even if he could tell that he was lacking experience. He was a great mentor to Mori as well.

“Ren…!!” Sora teared up. Mori chuckled.

“And me, well, I’ve told you everything.”

“Mori…!!! You guys!!!” Sora teared up even more. “Honestly! I’m glad I met you all! Even though the world ended up like this, spending every day with you all. Sometimes, I think that maybe the reason why my Heart didn’t weaken was because I had you all. Talking with you all, being together, laughing together… the fact that I wasn’t alone in all this kept me from despairing after all…!”

“You can cry it out Sora.”

“Nozhomu!!” Sora wept, “If you actually decide to not join the band! Don’t be a stranger ok?! I’m going to stalk you if you do!!”

“Don’t do that, I won’t be ghosting you.”

“Buut!!”

“Come on now,” Soushi laughed. Ren couldn’t help but chuckle as well at their leader’s state. The General continued weeping as he was handed tissues by Mori.

“Also, sometimes I wonder, what if the Regrets come from someone’s Heart sometimes.”

“Someone? But the first explosion happened here, right?”

“Yeah but… we use our Hearts to combat Regrets. Soldiers tend to be infected with Chlorosis because of the mental toll of fighting Regrets. And with how the Regrets have been shaping recently, I wonder if the Regrets are being driven by someone’s own despair.”

“That’s an interesting take.”

“Yeah, it reminds me of stories of parts of nature being the product of gods’ emotions. Like when a god is crying, it rains.” Mori said. “Do you think it’s like that, Sora?”

“Yeah… Regrets are from the despair of someone’s heart… and with its transformations recently, whoever it is, must be falling into the depths… that’s why…” Sora smiled solemnly.

“I hope someone is willing to pull them up from their despair, like how you all did for me.”

–

After their talk, everyone separated for the night, with their own agendas. Ren didn’t have anything to do, so he walked around and found the person he was looking for, lying on the roof of an abandoned car.

“Captain…”

“Ah, Lieutenant.” Nozomu sat up and gestured at him. “Is someone calling for me?”

Ren shook his head.

“Then what brings you here?”

“... I…” Ren looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed about the reason. “I wanted to see you.”

“Oh…” The Captain looked around then moved aside, gesturing to Ren to sit next to him. Ren sat beside him, but neither of them spoke, merely staring into the distance and enjoying the rare silence. It’s been a while since he found time to be alone with Nozomu like this, with how hectic everything had been. As expected, his heart feels at most ease when he’s with the Captain.

They don’t pay much attention to each other when they are with others as to not draw eyes, especially when there seems to be nosy people, so Ren likes the times they can be alone together.

“... Munakata, I’ve been curious about something.”

“What is it?”

“What you said earlier about your plans, you had something else in mind other than being a keyboardist, right?”

“Ah…” Ren didn’t expect that Nozomu was paying attention to that much detail, even though Ren was merely muttering about it. “Well, I do have an interest.”

“Is it ok to ask what it is?”

“... It’s a dojo.”

“A dojo?”

Ren looked at the sky, which looked like a dark grey color rather than the deep blue shade it usually had. “I still like swordshanship, even if my experience related to it wasn't the best. I heard that martial arts dojos existed, but I never got to see one personally. Although I am inexperienced with management, I still wish to lend others my knowledge on using the sword, even when the threat of Regrets no longer exists.”

“That’s an interesting dream…”

“.........” He remembered Nozomu’s answers earlier, on how vague his decisions were. The Captain didn’t agree immediately on the idea of being a bassist, but insists that he will keep in contact regardless. So does that mean Nozomu might go far away?

Ren’s chest ached at the idea.

“Captain, what about you, are you really going to do whatever Major Nanase does?”

“... It’s the most natural choice for me. But if I ask him, he’ll most likely encourage me to do what I want. Though all I wanted was to do what he does as well. I admired him a lot after all.”

“... So, is there a chance that you won’t be joining the band Sora-san suggested?” He asked, leaving out the part that they might be separated if that’s the case. Although, rationally, Nozomu had already given his opinion on that matter before, that distance doesn’t matter to him.

But to Ren, it does.

Maybe it’s because he’s used to being near the only person he considered family, but Ren would like to be near the people he cared about. He liked being able to sneak and meet with Nozomu like this. To feel Nozomu’s presence near him, it was a privilege that he indulged.

But what did the Captain feel about that?

Even though he could read Nozomu’s actions, in the end, he still can’t read Nozomu’s heart.

“... That’s what I thought earlier.”

Oh.

“I… I see.”

“However, the more I thought about it, I really do like the idea of being a bassist like how my brother used to be. I always wanted to be able to perform with him back then. I used to think that was the only way I could be with him.”

“.................”

“However, our connection will still be the way it is. We are brothers after all, no matter how distant we are from each other, even if our paths diverge, it doesn’t change our relationship. And…”

Ren felt something move next to him and he turned to Nozomu’s side.

His eyes widened.

Nozomu was staring at him, with a smile on his face. It wasn’t the small smile the Captain usually wore, but it was a big and gentle smile, gazing towards the Lieutenant’s eyes.

Despite the cold air outside, heat immediately rushed to his face and chest, feeling his heart pounding louder every beat.

“When it comes to you, I like being near you like this.”

“Captain…”

Nozomu held his hand and pressed the palm on the Captain’s cheek. At that moment, under the cold night, he could feel the heat from Nozomu’s cheeks more than usual, a gesture he had been familiar with whenever they spent the night together. Ren wasn’t sure what it all meant, all he knew is that the gesture made his heart beat faster. Nozomu intertwined their fingers as he continued speaking.

“Ren,” He spoke softly of the name which Ren sometimes heard come out of the Captain’s mouth. “At that night, you intended to say something to me, didn’t you?”

“...... yes.”

“If I misinterpreted it, do correct me.” Nozomu whispered.

And then, Ren felt warm lips against his, pressing lightly. He froze from the shock, gripping Nozomu’s hand tightly as the Captain deepened the kiss. He was familiar with this act, the gentle acts he received before, being treated like he’s someone precious. And everytime it overwhelmed him.

Nozomu separated their lips and pressed their foreheads together, forcing their eyes to meet. He whispered a phrase, softly, but loud enough for Ren to hear.

“I love you.”

“............”

Silence.

“............”

Another silence.

“---!!!” Ren suddenly pushed the Captain upwards, forcing them to sit up. Before Nozomu could react, he grabbed the Captain by the collar and pressed their lips once again. He parted their lips, resting his head onto Nozomu’s chest as they caught their breaths.

“Unfair…” He whined. “You’re so unfair Captain… stealing my thunder like that… I wanted to say those words to you first…”

“Should I take that as me interpreting your actions correctly?” Nozomu chuckled.

“If this was your idea of a joke, then I’m cutting you up after the battle is over.”

“Not now?” Nozomu laughed, wrapping his other arm around Ren’s waist, pressing their bodies closer together.

Ren released the Captain’s collar, returning the embrace being given to him. “We are lacking manpower, after all.”

“Don’t worry.” Nozomu kissed his hair. “I don’t have a reason to lie to you, after all.”

“Even though you lied about sleeping with people only once?”

“I never lied about that prior to sleeping with you, did I?”

“That’s sneaky.”

Nozomu laughed as he stroked Ren’s back, with Ren still clinging to the Captain. It was strange that they were immediately sharing banters like this. Somehow, it felt like a natural exchange between them, like they had always been in this type of relationship.

“Why did you decide to tell me this now, Captain?”

“Hmm?”

“Answering my attempted confession all of a sudden…”

“The talk with others earlier hardened my resolve.” Nozomu said, leaning on Ren’s head, as if to draw them closer even more. “If this was truly the final battle, then I would like to change things between us.”

“Change?”

“That’s right. Not as soldiers of Minerva, not as Captain and Lieutenant, but as Nanase Nozomu and Munakata Ren.”

“... Cap… I have never called you by name, have I?”

“No. But I want to hear you say my name.”

Ren steeled his guts, gathering every ounce of courage he had.

“No…zo…mu…”

“... again.”

“....” Ren broke their embrace, wishing to look at Nozomu’s expression before continuing. Nozomu’s expression is something he has never seen before, even more surprising from the one he had earlier. A gentle gaze decorated with a smile, and a flushed face. Although Ren was sure that his own expression was no different. But he didn’t care. His heart was about to burst and he felt like he could take on a whole army of Regrets. 

“Nozomu…”

“Ren.”

He leaned closer to Nozomu, staring at his eyes as he felt a hand rub his hair from behind.

“Nozomu… I love you.”

“....... I love you too.”

The two of them shared one more kiss, the resolution in their hearts stronger than before.

If this was truly the final battle of this long war against Regrets, then they already had a future planned together. Without hesitation, staying with each other, without regrets. 

It was an ending they could walk towards with hope in their hearts.

That was their ending.