Chapter Text
Spider deeply regretted ever opening his big mouth.
“You did what?” The hiss sent a chill down his spine, causing his hands to curl into fists, a pathetic attempt at quelling the fear in his stomach and the bile rising up his throat.
Spider can’t bring himself to say anything, there is nothing he could say. He knew all along that this was never going to end well, he just hoped that it would be different. But as Lo’ak stood here, eyes wide with rage and fists shaking in fury, he realized that whatever he hoped would happen was just wishful thinking. Foolish wishful thinking.
“Tell me you’re joking.” The na’vi seethed, tail flicking harshly behind him. His ears are tilted down and his lips pulled back to show his double set of fangs. “Tell me.”
Spider couldn’t, so he swallowed thickly and looked away. A part of him knew he shouldn’t have dared to take his eyes away from the fuming 7 foot tall na’vi, but he did and it cost him greatly.
Next thing he knew, he was on his back and Lo’ak was above him, large hands raised high in a pending attack. Spider thought he screamed, he couldn’t be sure because the blood rushing to his ears caused them to ring loudly. Spider thinks he raised his arms to defend himself, he thinks he felt them being hit hard.
He couldn’t think, couldn’t process that he was being attacked.
He was being attacked by Lo’ak.
Spider said something along the lines of “no” or “please.” Or maybe both simultaneously and it all came out incoherently and he realized that his throat was painfully thick, and that his eyes stung as Lo’ak brought his fists down again. The na’vi hit hard enough for Spider to cry out in pain.
Spider screamed, that’s all he was able to comprehend at the moment as Lo’ak wailed on him over and over from above. It’s then that he feels the weight sitting heavy on his waist, the long, lanky legs that straddled him and pinned him to the ground. His heart pumped painfully against his ribcage, which gradually began to feel crushed.
“Bro, stop!” Spider shouted, a sob catching in his throat.
Lo’ak halted, eyes cruel as he looked down at Spider. “Bro?”
Spider again regretted opening his big mouth.
“Bro?” Lo’ak raised his hands again and Spider threw up his arms in a poor attempt to protect himself, letting out a scared yelp. “I am not your bro.”
When Lo’ak landed another blow, Spider’s arms collapsed and left his face and body open for attack. The na’vi doesn’t waste another second.
Spider doesn’t remember much after that. The pain, he remembered greatly. It still thrums in his veins to this day. But the actions that caused such grief, he doesn’t really recall.
Norm told him once that the whole attack had been caught on camera, as Spider had the great idea to tell Lo’ak the truth in one of Hell’s Gate bio-labs. Max had told him that it was best that—if anywhere—Spider got attacked there and not somewhere further away because he was close enough to be treated immediately for the injuries he suffered.
Of course, he took quite a beating before one of them had stumbled in from their field trip out in Pandora, probably collecting some samples of flora. Spider doesn’t know as he never asked, didn’t care to relive the day he lost a brother. Norm had to get into a link chamber and use his avatar to pull Lo’ak off of the human boy.
The scientists had been horrified at what the na’vi had done. Lo’ak seemed to have come to his senses long enough to let go and get out when told. Norm recalls him seeming rather numb and lost, having to be told at least ten times to “get the hell out of here!”
Spider doesn’t know much else because he didn’t care to learn—simply didn’t want to know the details of the brutality that had been enacted on him by his best friend.
But that’s not really how he thinks of Lo’ak anymore. In his mind, if they were really best friends or brothers or anything at all, then Lo’ak wouldn’t have reacted like that. He remembers back in the earlier days after the attack, he used to justify the na’vi’s actions in the mirror as he applied the ointment to his bruised face.
He hit you because you deserved it.
If you hadn’t saved the man who planned to murder his entire family, then he wouldn’t have done that.
You’re no brother of his.
You are his enemy.
He didn’t go out for days because he didn’t want to face anyone with the fresh scars and scabs. He sat in Hell’s Gate for hours on end, only getting up to eat, or shower, or participate in whatever useless small talk Norm and Max tried to engage him in. He knew that they were just trying to help, but he didn’t want it.
He had been told numerous times that Kiri had tried to visit. But luckily, they had the decency to ask if he wanted to see her first before letting her in. Spider always told them no and they would send her away.
It was around the two week mark when Spider felt well enough to start being active again. He didn’t think much. All he wanted was to get away so he just left.
It had been a day when both Norm and Max had been out and about in Pandora, likely gathering research or whatever. They had been gone for just long enough for Spider to consider the idea of running away. He grabbed everything he needed and could fit into his pouch and simply disappeared. When they returned, they thought he had finally gone back out to the village. They thought he had gone to see Kiri, or to confront Lo’ak.
But when they went to ask the Sully’s if they had seen him the following day, they all said no. Other than Lo’ak, who sat in the farthest corner of the marui and refused to speak or even look at the scientists.
Days turned into a week and everyone began to worry. But the human boy never returned. They looked for him whenever they had the time, circling the nearby areas using Norm’s painted gunship. But they never found him, or anything that would indicate what happened to him or where he had gone.
In the first month or so of Spider’s disappearance, Lo’ak never made an effort to find the boy. Jake had given him a scolding about it multiple times, but it never changed anything. In fact, it only served to make him angrier because he found out that both of his parents knew about Spider’s traitorous acts before him.
Spider told Jake and Neytiri before he told Lo’ak. And for some reason, that pissed him off. Spider should have told him first. But then he remembered how he acted and immediately rid his mind of that thought.
As the months passed, Lo’ak came to the conclusion that he was wrong. He secretly knew it all along but never wanted to come to terms with it. Because if he did, then he’d also have to come to terms with the fact that he is the reason Spider is gone—that Spider could be dead, or lost, or struggling somewhere out there.
The realization nearly broke him. He had lost two brothers due to his actions. And now he could only face the music.
Lo’ak found himself alienated from his own family. In a way, they all understood but didn’t. Kiri insisted that she would never do anything like that no matter how angry. Tuk always gave Lo’ak strange stares as though she expected him to become violent over the littlest things now. Neytiri kept a much closer eye on him than before. And Jake made sure to reiterate how disappointed he was with his son every chance he got.
The first year passed and Lo’ak had reintegrated into the family, not without resistance though. Kiri had an argument with him almost everyday for months, often having to be stopped by either Jake or Neytiri. She only seemingly ever played nice when Tuk was around, but the youngest wasn’t stupid, she could tell that there had been a falling out between her siblings. She knew she couldn’t do anything to mend it though.
Lo’ak was gradually becoming too old for Jake and Neytiri to watch over him. And now they had Tuk to worry about, so he found himself able to sneak away again. He used the time to search for Spider, much to his own surprise. And to Kiri’s as well.
She once found him out way past Eclipse, crouched and looking at the soil as though it would give something secret away. She didn’t have to ask, she just knew. And only after that had their relationship begun to heal. She could see the regret and guilt that Lo’ak wouldn’t dare voice. She could simply feel the pain her brother possessed by looking in his eyes, which had become rather dull as the second year since Spider’s disappearance passed.
Then the third and the fourth, and they had given up hope. Jake had long since stopped digging into his son, Neytiri had stopped watching over him, and Tuk no longer looked at him in fear. Kiri still kept an eye out for her brother and occasionally searched alongside him. But nothing ever came out of it.
Lo’ak didn’t give up though. He felt like he owed it to them, both Neteyam and Spider, to continue trying to find the boy. He knew that if he ever found him, he wouldn’t be Spider anymore—not really. He wouldn’t be a boy, but rather, a man. He’d be taller, maybe. Broader, perhaps tanner. His hair would be longer, and his face older, more mature.
Lo’ak often found himself daydreaming what Spider would look like now that he was older. He could imagine it all he wanted but he felt that whatever his brain conjured up was never quite right. He had to see it—see him with his own eyes.
Lo’ak was 19 now. He had a tsurak and a piece of clothing that represented the rite of passage. He was one of the People and had just received his first tattoo, one T’sireya designed with little input from Ao’nung and Roxto. They mentioned that the spiralling pattern near his heart represented his strength. Upon hearing that, he rushed to find if there was a way to have it removed. He couldn’t stomach being told that he has a strong heart after what he did, after the pain he caused.
But there was no way. And the Metkayinan trio insisted that he earned this tattoo and that it wouldn’t be imprinted on him if he didn’t deserve it. So he settled for it, but didn’t even consider getting another one.
That was the same year that he began to hear the rumors. A human, someplace out in the rainforest, an excellent hunter and fearsome warrior. He allegedly remained peaceful until approached. Anyone who dared to cross his path often earned a warning shot that was a bit too close.
Whenever Lo’ak caught wind of a sighting, he’d immediately go out and search there. He never found anything or anyone. But he didn’t give up.
One day in particular, he rushed over to where a supposed sighting had been and was nearly struck with an arrow. He turned fast and found nothing, but the arrow. It was much too small to belong to a na’vi, and had a familiar green and black pattern over the feathers. It reminded him of his mother’s signature style of weaponry.
He knew.
He ran home as fast as he could and showed it to his family. Kiri had far too little to say, much to Lo’ak’s surprise, she didn’t even seem all that interested in his discovery. Neytiri frowned and glanced to where her bow and arrow rested against the woven wall of the marui. She noticed the similarity but didn’t say anything. Jake merely shook his head and told Lo’ak to sit down and eat as the family had prepared evening meal. Tuk tried rather miserably to hide her excitement and hope for the entire duration of their meal and immediately after asked Lo’ak if she could see the arrow up close.
He agreed and they both examined it for an hour as their family fell asleep around them.“It’s so tiny.” Tuk had said, giggling quietly as though not to wake the family. “It has to be his, Lo’ak. I know it is!”
Tuk’s belief in this was enough to keep Lo’ak searching avidly for weeks. But then a month passed and he heard nothing of the human warrior. It was almost as if the warrior had heard about the rumors and decided to stay hidden for the time being. But they could only stay away for so long as Lo’ak soon heard gossip of them again.
He gathered a good chunk of information eavesdropping. The human warrior was a man, wore Omaticaya-style clothing, and dawned some kind of scarring over his chest.
Lo’ak was absolutely certain then. The warrior had to be Spider. The scarring across the chest must have been left by his mother all those years ago.
It took quite a while for him to hear about the warrior again. But when he did, it came from the most unexpected source. Tuk.
“It’s him!” She hollered one day. She ran to him out of the blue and over the woven walkways and collided into his chest. Lo’ak had to pull her back and hold fast onto her arms to ground her before she could run off again. “Lo’ak, it’s him! It’s Spider!”
“Where?” Lo’ak asked, grabbing onto her shoulders and searching her eyes. “Where did you see him?”
“Just beyond the Reef, on the little island!” There was a small piece of land that separated Awa’atlu from what lay beyond. And Lo’ak had been there once before, he had searched there after a rumored sighting. So what he was hearing from Tuk now seemed totally plausible.
“How long ago? Is he still there?” Lo’ak rambled, backing away some to call for his ikran. As soon as the beast touched down behind him, he grabbed at its tendrils and performed tsaheylu. “Did he see you?”
Tuk’s eyes glimmered as she shook her head, a shaky smile on her lips. “No.” She choked out. “I didn’t want him to leave so I stayed hidden. He was still there when I left, Lo’ak”—her breath hitches and Lo’ak felt his heart break some—“you have to go get him. You have to bring him back, okay?”
Lo’ak looked down, hands loosening a bit as he bit his lip. He couldn’t promise something like that. He honestly thought Spider would be long gone by the time he arrived. And even if he wasn’t, he knew that Spider wouldn’t want to see him or talk to him—let alone come home with him.
“You’re gonna bring him home, right?” The pitiful, teary-eyed look Tuk gave him was utterly heart wrenching. And the subtle wobble of her lower lip only served to worsen his guilt. “Right?” She pressed quietly, looking up at him.
Fuck.
“Right.” He said, voice hushed. “I’ll… I’m gonna bring him back, Tuk.” He swallowed hard. “I promise.”
Tuk’s face broke into a smile, a pained one, but a smile nonetheless. “Okay.” She mumbled. “Then you better go before he…”
She didn’t need to finish her sentence, Lo’ak could infer. He took one last look at his baby sister and mounted his ikran before taking off.