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Kevin sat on the foot of Arnold's bed, eagerly watching him as he waved his hands around, cheerfully chirping about... what he assumed to be Star Wars. He wouldn't know, since he never watched the thing, but... Arnold was interested, he loved it, so Kevin went along.
How did he get here? Lovingly listening to his best friend ramble on the end of his bed...
A few weeks ago he would've hated this. Rolling his eyes. Yawning. Making up excuses to leave the room, to leave his partner. But now? It was laughable how much he depended on Arnold, almost as if his worst fear was not having him right at his side, next to him, opposed to his worst fear back then, not being in the lead 24/7
Everything that happened seemed to only bring them closer together, and Kevin was relieved. He was happy for Arnold, finding a place where he belonged, and he was ever so proud of him.
Watching him grinning and laughing right now? It made his heart flutter and his mouth dry and while it felt uncomfortable he sort of liked the feeling.
I love him more than I could love myself, frankly.
"Kev'? Buddy? You okay? You're looking at me weird." Arnold points out.
Startled, he realized he was blankly staring at Arnold. For who knows how long.
"Er- sorry. Lost in thought." He shrugs. "But please continue!"
***
"-like, it was a whole public argument. Star Trek versus Star Wars! I personally think the argument is crazy, I mean if they are both so similar why can't people like both? I already told you I like Star Wars more but Star Trek is still super cool! I jus-"
Arnold paused for a moment, cutting himself off, mid-conversation. Or- well it was more one-sided, since his companion was just watching and nodding the whole time. He didn't mind though. But as he turned towards Kevin, he realized he was just... watching him. Some sort of warm, fuzzy feeling crept over him, and his face turned slightly red. He didn't know why he was feeling this way, but he hoped it wasn't obvious. That would be… embarrassing to say the least.
But other than that, was Kevin okay? Was... was he about to PASS OUT? Oh dear...
"Kev'? Buddy? Are you okay? You're looking at me weird." He asked, tilting his head.
Kevin seemed to flinch, and stared at Arnold with wide eyes. "Er- sorry. Lost in thought. But please continue."
Arnold slowly nods. So... not sick. Just thinking about something... while looking at him. There it was again, the fuzzy feeling, the soft and warm flutter in his heart that he felt when Kevin spoke to him, or about him.
Kevin was always a treat to him. A sight for sore eyes. He had always been enamored with him, from observing him from afar back in Utah, at the church, praying that on his mission he would be sent with him, at the start of the mission when Arnold couldn't keep his gaze off of him. Some days he would be harsh, snappy, and some days he would be kind, sweet, even, the two comforting each other through the hell that was Uganda. And even now, after everything was settled, Kevin could still be a little pointed some times. But that was okay. That was perfectly fine to Arnold. It was more friendly banter by now, when a few weeks ago some of the words he said, he most likely meant. And even after Kevin considered, and almost went through with leaving him, transferring, switching companions, he rushed back and stayed. He apologized for everything. Ever since then, their bond has been stronger than ever.
Some days, Arnold would ask, "Would you prefer that you got another companion? I mean, after everything... I feel as if all of this wouldn't happen. Like it would be better for you... if..."
But Kevin would shake his head, and place his hand on Arnold's shoulder. "No. They could try, best believe me, but honestly? Even after everything I said back then, I don't think anyone could compare to you. You're my best friend, and no one can change that."
"I don't want someone else."
That sentiment stuck with him. Every time he would doubt their friendship, he would think back to that, what Kevin said, and it would comfort him.
Should Arnold say the same as well? Who knows what Kevin was thinking about when looking at him like that. He had no idea. So...
***
"You know you can always tell me things, right, buddy?" Arnold stated.
Kevin stared at his feet awkwardly, in some sort of nervous response. Did he think he was hiding something from him?
He assumed he wasn't quite a good liar. Noting that he was just "lost in thought" wasn't a complete lie, but he wasn't telling the full truth.
"Yes. Yes I know," He mumbled under his breath, embaressment flooding over him like a tsunami. He should want to tell Arnold about his feelings. That he's glad, so glad that they are this close, after everything. That he felt a strange yet comforting feeling listening to him, talking to him. That he'd be completely lost without him by his side.
But that was...weird, wasn't it? Inside his head, he sounded so clingy. But that lingering feeling stuck to his tongue stayed. The feeling that wanted him to shout out how much he loved Arnold...platonically... he hoped. Yet he stayed silent because he was worried about his best friend judging him.
That was pathetic, who does that?
But he stared at Arnold, looking into his eyes. And there was warmth, comfort... knowing.
"It wasn't... anything that special. Just... I was thinking... recollecting, actually. About our friendship."
Arnold seemed a little surprised, and kicked his leg slightly, probably out of nervousness. "Like... in what way?" He chirped.
"N-not negatively! I mean... I'm just... wow. I'm really glad I have you here, y'know?" He stated. "I mean... it makes me really happy when I'm around you. Does that make sense?"
Looking back at Arnold, he bit his lip. "Sorry- that sounds- uh-"
"You were scared of telling me THAT?" Arnold yelled. "I'm so sorry! Did I ignore your cues when I was talking back there? Did you want to talk about something else?" His eyes rounded apologetically. "I should've payed attention more."
Kevin felt his heart pounding in his chest. "No! No... no. Arnold, pal, you didn't do anything wrong. I just... I had a voice in my head telling me I was idiotic for wanting to tell you that. It wasn't you."
Arnold seemed to sit and think about his words for a moment, before suddenly embracing Kevin. His heart fluttered at his touch, and he returned the hug, confused but accepting, before Arnold pulled away. "Buddy..." He sighed. "You really shouldn't listen to that voice. It's just trying to make you upset." He pointed to his temple, a small smile upon his face. "In fact, I have one too. Remember all those times I asked you those "would you still prefer another partner" questions? That was my little voice in my head telling me awful things as well." Moving his hand from pointing towards his forehead, he placed it on the top of Kevin's head, softly smiling. "I know it's hard, but you shouldn't listen. I would never judge you for simply telling me you appreciate me!"
"Really?" Kevin asks, breathless.
"Really." Arnold nods. "You're my best friend, the one. You can lean on me whenever."
"And the same for me." Kevin replied. "If we both have voices in our heads, we should work together to get rid of them." At that statement, Arnold seemed to grin. "Agreed! Now bring it in, best friend!"
The two hugged once again, Kevin resisting the urge to cry. Not out of sadness, but out of joy. The butterflies returned once again, as if every time Arnold brushed against him, it sent shivers down his spine. But like he noted earlier, that feeling was accepted with open arms. He was so... so so so happy to have Arnold by his side.
"I love you, pal."
"I love you too, best friend."