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Harry climbed into the common room and found Ron and Hermione having a blazing row. Standing ten feet apart, they were bellowing at each other, each scarlet in the face.
"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of its elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger.
"Oh yeah?" Ron yelled back. "What's that?"
"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!"
Ron mouthed soundlessly like a goldfish out of water. Then, as Hermione turned on her heel to storm up the girls’ staircase, Ron raced across the room and grabbed her arm before she could take another step. Hermione turned to him, face tense as if she expected Ron to continue their row with another biting remark. But Ron’s face was determined rather than angry now. And Hermione’s expression quickly turned to shock as he leaned down and kissed her.
Harry immediately sank back into the portrait hole. It was clear that neither of them had noticed him entering and he very much wanted to keep it that way now that they were…well, snogging . Ron and Hermione were snogging . Hermione had very quickly gotten over her shock and returned Ron’s kiss fervently, so that Harry’s two best friends were now without a doubt groping at each other and kissing as if their life depended on it.
Harry turned on his heel and decided to go anywhere that wasn’t the common room. Even the Slytherin common room would be preferred.
Harry very much hoped that his friends would realize where they were quite quickly so that they would move somewhere a bit more private. Harry thought it was lucky that it was he who had caught them, as any other member of the Weasley family or even another Gryffindor student would have called them out immediately. As it was, Harry was much more inclined to ignore what he saw until Ron and Hermione decided to bring it up to him themselves.
Which they did…never.
Not over Christmas break.
Not for the remaining part of the school year.
Not even when they all came together again at the Burrow after a short time apart in the summer.
For the first few months, Harry wondered if Ron and Hermione had actually decided to ignore the kiss altogether. Besides a few weeks of awkward moments between the two of them when they were with other people, they didn’t give any indication that anything had happened at all. They even went back to their usual bickering fairly quickly after the night of the Yule Ball. No one else seemed to notice anything different about the two of them, and Harry expected he wouldn’t have either if he hadn’t seen them kissing with his own two eyes.
However, once Harry started paying closer attention, he realized that they often made up excuses for doing one thing or another that gave them ample time to be alone together without anyone else catching on. Hermione would go to the library to study instead of coming down to the Great Hall for dinner (nothing strange about that), and then Ron would suddenly remember something he had left in the dormitory (and it would take quite a long time for him to find whatever it was). Harry found it rather amusing, and since he didn’t particularly want the dynamics of their friendship to change if they didn’t have to, he decided not to push the subject.
***
Ron and Hermione’s luck ran out towards the end of the summer. Grimmauld Place, where they spent most of the holidays, was much larger than the Burrow and thus made it much easier to sneak off to various rooms under the guise of “cleaning”. Except one day the “cleaning” occupied both of them so much that they didn’t notice when a certain red-headed young woman walked past the very cupboard where they had decided to “clean”.
Ginny was so shocked that she was momentarily speechless. She decided to do the same thing that Harry had done upon catching his two best friends. She turned on her heel and walked right back where she came from.
Harry, who had been sent by Mrs. Weasley to find Ron and Hermione, ran right into Ginny as soon as she turned the corner. There were a few seconds of apologies and steadying each other, and then Harry noticed the look of shock that was still on Ginny’s face.
“Are you alright, Gin?” Harry asked. He looked furtively behind her down the hallway. “Is there some sort of boggart nearby or something that we’ve missed?”
“No, no, nothing like that,” Ginny said quickly. “I just…uh…might have seen something.”
“Seen something?” Harry repeated, still looking worried. Then, remembering what he’d experienced months ago, he quickly realized where Ron and Hermioned might have gotten to and what that might have entailed.
Ginny, noticing the “ah-ha” moment that she recognized so well from Harry, immediately went from shocked to suspicious. She narrowed her eyes and said, “Do you know something?”
Harry still wasn’t sure if what he suspected had happened, had actually happened. Since he still wanted things to stay the way they were, he wasn’t willing to give anything away yet. He asked, “Do you know something?”
“I might know something,” said Ginny, crossing her arms.
“I might know something, too.”
“What’s the thing you know?” Ginny glared.
“Oh no,” Harry shook his head. “I can’t tell you until you tell me what you know.”
“Well, I don’t want to tell you what I know.” Ginny was now no longer shocked nor suspicious, but rather annoyed that she may have been out of the loop on a very interesting piece of information.
“Well then I can’t tell you what I know,” Harry insisted.
“Okay, fine,” Ginny huffed.
Neither of them moved for a few moments, since they were equally stubborn and didn’t want to be the first one to break. Harry, however, had had a much longer time to process what they both now knew, and curiosity eventually got the better of Ginny.
“All right,” Ginny spoke up, “how about I turn around and I walk back down this hallway and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!”
Harry gasped. “You know!”
Ginny pointed at Harry. “And you know!”
“Yeah, I know!”
“Ron and Hermione?! Oh, this is unbelievable!” Ginny paused, her brow crinkling a bit. “Except not really. Hermione’s had a crush on Ron since second year and I’m sure Ron has had one on Hermione for at least as long. It’s more unbelievable that they both finally got over themselves and finally did something about it.” Ginny paused again, then glared at Harry. “How long have you known?”
“Too long,” Harry replied.
“And you didn’t say anything?”
“Of course not. I didn’t want to bring it up if they weren’t going to.”
Ginny rolled her eyes and muttered what sounded like, “Typical.” Then, with a mischievous glint in her eye, she smiled slowly. “I’m going to give him so much hell about this.”
“Listen, I don’t think we should say anything about this to anybody. It would be too weird.”
“It would be too funny,” Ginny countered. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, since you don’t have siblings.”
“How would you feel if Ron got involved in your love life?” Harry countered.
Ginny had the decency to stop to think about it for a few moments. Then she sighed and said, “Fine. You’re right. But they’re lucky it was me who caught them, not Fred and George. They would have no mercy.”
***
Unfortunately, Fred & George were indeed the next ones to find out.
In fact, they found out in the presence of Ginny, who for Hermione’s sake (definitely not Ron’s) had actually become rather fierce about keeping their secret the longer it went on. Plus, she appreciated that it had become a little inside joke between her and Harry.
The three Weasleys were in a deserted part of the castle fine-tuning their Portable Swamp item. Normally the twins kept all of the products they were testing under wraps, but since Ginny had been the one to joke about a portable swamp they had decided to include her in on its creation. Plus, George admitted that she “had good ideas sometimes I guess”. As they were casting not-quite-allowed charms in a large hallway, they had made sure to put up wards that made it impossible for someone to see or hear them unless they were right on top of them, which didn’t seem likely given that this wasn’t a very well-known part of the castle. Plus, the three of them kept an eye on the Marauders’ Map that Harry had let them borrow.
Fred noticed the two dots on the map first. His first thought when seeing that it was Ron and Hermione was that they were on their prefect rounds. “Shit!” He exclaimed.
“What?” George and Ginny said together, glancing at the map simultaneously.
George had the same thought as his twin and said, “Let’s hope the wards work. Looks like they’re coming down the opposite stairway. That’s pretty far away. With any luck, they won’t come any closer.
Ginny, knowing the real reason why Ron and Hermione found themselves in such a secluded area, was less worried about being caught than catching. “Why don’t we just finish up and leave before they get too close?”
“It’ll be fine,” Fred insisted. “We’ll just keep quiet.”
Ginny was at a loss as to what to do next. She decided there was only so much she could do to help Hermione (again, definitely not Ron), and if the two of them were careless enough to be caught by the twins then it was not her fault. Ginny decided to keep her eyes firmly planted on the map. George did the same. Fred was the one to turn around to keep Ron and Hermione in sight in case a quick departure was necessary.
Ginny was not surprised when a few minutes later Fred shouted out, “Oh! Ohh! Ahh!!!”
George was surprised, and turned around quickly. “What?!”
“Ahhh!!” Fred continued. Then explained, pointing in the direction of the couple, “Ron and Hermione! Ron and Hermione!”
“Oh Merlin!” George cried, finally seeing what Fred was on about.
“RON AND HERMIONE!” Fred said again.
“OH MERLIN!” George repeated.
“OH!” Fred said as he turned away, finally deciding he had seen enough. “MY EYES! MY EYES!”
Ginny had had quite enough of their outburst and said, “Fred! George! It’s okay! It’s okay!”
“NO!” Fred shook his head violently.
George couldn’t seem to look away and also shouted, “THEY’RE DOING IT!”
“I know!” Ginny said, grasping George by the shoulder and turning him away. She took care not to look in the general direction of Ron and Hermione so as not to see anything she didn’t want to.
Fred gaped at her. “You know?!”
“Yes, I know!” Ginny admitted. “And Harry knows! But they haven’t told anyone yet and we don’t want to get caught so you two have to stop screaming!”
The twins’ survival instinct kicked in and they did stop screaming. They also quickly got rid of the portions of the Portable Swamp they had been working on and left the area as quickly and quietly as they could. By the time they cornered Harry in the Gryffindor Common Room, they were as outraged as Ginny had been about being left out of this secret.
“Fred and George just found out about Ron and Hermione,” Ginny sighed in explanation as she flopped onto the seat next to Harry, who was looking at Fred and George warily.
At that, Harry looked sharply at Ginny. “You mean how they’re friends and nothing more?”
Ginny rolled her eyes. “No. Harry, they know . We were in that part of the castle with the Camelot painting and we saw them from across the landing.”
“Actually,” George said, closing his eyes with a look of disgust. “We saw them doing it up against the Camelot painting.”
Fred chimed in, “So they don’t know that either of you know?”
Harry rubbed his face. “No, but you know what? It doesn’t matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know. Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over.”
“Or,” George said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.”
Ginny immediately perked up, forgetting that she had decided to be a good friend and keep Hermione’s secret. Now that her brothers knew what was going on, she had returned to her initial desire of giving Ron hell. “What do you mean?”
Fred nodded thoughtfully. “Well, you know…every time Hermione says that she’s going to the library we’ll just say we need to go too.”
“Ohhh, I would enjoy that!” Ginny grinned.
“No no no.” Harry was now running his hands through his hair in exasperation. “You know what would even be more fun? Telling them.”
“No, I definitely want to do Fred and George’s thing,” Ginny said. “I warned you they would be merciless if they found out.”
“We’ll come back to the fact that you kept this from us little sis,” George glared at her.
“Definitely,” Fred said. “But for now we’ll focus on how we’re going to mess with them.”
Harry, seeing he was outnumbered, simply said, “Ugh.”
Before discussion could continue, Ron and Hermione came in through the portrait hall. Fred, never one to let something as pesky as planning interfere with a good opportunity, stood up and walked casually over to the two of them. Over his shoulder he whispered, “Watch and learn.”
“Hey!” Fred grinned at Hermione once he reached her side. He put an arm around her shoulders and gave a squeeze, ignoring Ron completely.
“Erm,” Hermione responded tentatively, clearly surprised. The small flush on her cheeks could have been from Fred’s attentions, or from her previous illicit activities with Ron. “Hello.”
“These robes look great on you,” Fred winked at her.
“Really?” Hermione squeaked out. She was definitely blushing because of Fred. Ron’s ears were also bright red now, and he was scowling.
Fred pulled away from Hermione slightly so that he could run his hand down her arm. “Yeah, the material feels so soft.” He leaned in and whispered (but loud enough for Ron to hear), “I bet what’s underneath is even softer.”
Hermione gaped at Fred. Ron looked like he was going to murder him.
“Well, bye then.” Fred thought they were both now sufficiently bothered and he could go back to scheming with George, Ginny and the unwilling Harry. But he couldn’t help himself from giving Hermione a quick peck on the cheek as he left.
Both Ron and Hermione were too shell-shocked to look at anything in the Common Room but each other. If they had, they would have seen three red-headed figures shaking, trying to conceal laughter, and one black-haired figure shaking his head in disbelief.
“What the bloody hell was that?” Ron hissed.
“That was rather inappropriate,” Hermione agreed. Then, she started to look as if she were trying to solve a complicated Arithmancy Rune.
Ron merely looked like he wanted to throttle anyone who came in his general direction. “I don’t know what Fred is on about but…”
He trailed off at the same time that Hermione’s eyes widened. They seemed to come to the same conclusion at the same time. She said, “Oh Merlin.”
Ron added, “He knows about us!”
Hermione nodded grimly. “He knows and he’s just trying to freak us out.”
“That’s the only explanation for it.”
Hermione huffed, rather offended. “Yes Ron, because how could he possibly be attracted to me?”
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Ron shot back. “Calm down.”
“Oh, because telling me to calm down always does the trick.”
Ron grinned, leaning in a little closer. “No, but it definitely makes me want to–.”
Hermione, laughing now, pushed him away and cut him off. “Fred thinks he’s so slick messing with us.”
Ron was back to being annoyed. He looked over at Fred, noticing who he was sitting with. Besides Harry, the group was too busy talking over each other and waving their hands around to notice that the subjects of their scheming were staring right at them. Harry didn’t notice because his face was planted firmly between his hands, clearly miserable.
Thoughtfully, Ron said, “But…they don’t know that we know that they know.”
Hermione was, of course, the cleverest witch of her age; but even she had to take a few moments to work that out. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Ron explained, “you should go over there and flirt back.”
“Absolutely not!” Hermione shrieked.
Ron, being just as much of a Weasley prankster as his siblings, was already scheming himself. “Yes, it’s perfect. He can dish it out but I doubt he could take it himself.”
Hermione (who like Harry didn’t have any brothers or sister, never mind Weasley siblings) was much more inclined to just admit to the relationship rather than play games. However, she was also annoyed to have been the object of such games and decided she should at least try to return the (uncomfortable) favor.
“What did you have in mind?” Hermione asked. “I didn’t exactly flirt with you, if you remember. I can’t exactly go over there and shout at him to admit his feelings for me.”
After a few minutes of back and forth between the two of them, Hermione walked over in the direction of Harry, Ginny, and the twins. Ron managed to find a part of the common room where he would have the ability to see everything that happened without being seen himself.
“Hello again Fred.”
Harry, Ginny, and the twins looked up at Hermione quickly, stopping their conversation immediately.
“Hullo,” Fred said neutrally, forgetting that he should be charming her. George elbowed him, and he immediately turned suave. “I mean, hello Hermione.”
“Sorry for being so…odd earlier,” Hermione said. Her voice wasn’t very steady, so she cleared her throat. “I mean, you just caught me by surprise. But now that I’ve had some time to get over the initial shock, I wanted to let you know that I’m…intrigued.”
It was Fred’s turn to get squeaky. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Hermione said. “Maybe sometime I can show you how soft my…robes…are.”
Although Hermione started off confident, she almost choked on the word robes . She then rushed off to the girls’ dormitory, clearly unable to keep up the charade any longer. Ron, knowing he was unable to join her because of the spell on the girls’ stairway, merely rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s questionable acting skills and went up to the boys’ dormitory.
Ginny recovered from her shock first. “I cannot believe she would do that to Ron–.”
Harry shook his head. “She definitely wouldn’t do that to Ron. And she could barely get out that pickup line out. They know you know.”
“Well that didn’t last long,” George sighed.
“I cannot believe those two,” Ginny fumed.
“They thought they could mess with us!” Fred said.
“But now they don’t know that we know they know we know!” George exclaimed.
“What?” Harry sputtered. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Fred, along with the other two Weasleys, ignored him. “If she wants a date? She’s going to get a date.”
Harry had no say in the matter as another plan started to take shape.
***
Fred commenced the first part of their plan the next morning in the Great Hall. He had managed to convince Harry to delay Ron from coming down to breakfast before Hermione. Ginny had pushed Hermione to go on down with her before the two boys, telling her that she didn’t want to be late for class. Both Fred and George were pleased to see Hermione finishing her breakfast alone when they walked in, as Ginny had just gotten up to leave when she spotted her brothers. She gave them a wink as she passed them.
“Be sexy,” Ginny whispered.
Fred snorted. “Please.” Then, “All right, I’m going in.”
Fred sat next to Hermione, who stopped with her spoon of porridge halfway to her mouth. She looked at Fred warily as he said, “So Hermione. I’d love to hang out tonight…in private.”
“R-really?” Hermione stammered.
“Oh absolutely.” Fred brushed her shoulder with his own gently. “Shall we say, around seven? Room of Requirement?”
“Umm…” Hermione managed to say.
By this time, Ron and Harry were walking into the Great Hall. Ron, seeing Fred sitting next to Hermione and her deer-in-headlights expression, narrowed his eyes. He and Hermione locked gazes and Ron nodded, then motioned with his hand as if to say Go on.
Hermione still wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue this charade. But she also very much wanted Fred to stop giving her his come hither look, so she simply nodded and said “Okay” in the hopes that would get him to go away.
“Good. I’m really looking forward to getting my hands on your…” he paused, raising his eyebrows meaningfully, then continued, “robes.”
And with another strategic brush of his shoulders, Fred rose from the table and strode out of the Great Hall. Ron and Harry had finally reached Hermione by this time. While Ron plopped himself next to Hermione, Harry decided that he would rather take his breakfast to go. He grabbed a handful of toast, mumbled something about having to finish some homework before class, and left quickly.
Neither Hermione nor Ron were disappointed by Harry’s exit, as it gave them time to catch up on what had just happened. As soon as Hermione had finished giving Ron a word-by-word account of what had just occurred, Ron said, “All right, this will be great. You just make him think you wanna fool around with him. It’ll totally stop him in his tracks.”
“What?!” Hermione hissed, blushing furiously. “Listen, how far are we going to take this? Specifically, how far am I going to have to go with Fred?”
“Relax,” Ron assured her. “He’s gonna give in way before you do.”
“How do you know?!”
Ron did not know. After all, Fred had a history of taking jokes very, very far. But Ron was more focused on winning this sibling rivalry than thinking logically. So he merely said, “Trust me. Just meet him tonight. I’ll be there too. It’ll be fine.”
As it turned out, the Room of Requirement became exactly what it needed for both teams. Most likely because both Fred and Hermione wanted a place that was private, but that also allowed the extra parties involved to listen in on the action. Hermione and Ron arrived first, so the room became a living room with a hidden room for Ron to stay in. Then, when Fred, George, Ginny and Harry arrived, the room created a hallway for this group to stand in.
Harry wasn’t going to join them at first, but Ginny had told him that “The sooner Fred breaks Hermione the sooner this is all over and out in the open,” so he had acquiesced to helping them.
When all of the onlookers were situated in their respective places, Fred knocked on the door that had appeared when he arrived at the Room of Requirement. Hermione answered it, trying not to look uncomfortable with the entire situation.
“Fred.”
Fred leaned against the doorframe and said, “Hermione.”
“Come in,” Hermione opened the door further and moved aside.
Fred was much better at this ruse, and strutted through the room as if he had no qualms about what was about to happen. Hermione both admired this and also was terrified by it.
Fred may have seemed unbothered, but he was starting to worry about just how far he would have to go to win this. While he didn’t find Hermione unattractive, he thought of her as a sister and was frankly a little disturbed about doing more with her than the innocent brushes of arms and shoulders he had already done. Plus, she was dating his brother now, and he did have a rule about messing around with anyone a family member or friend was interested in: don’t.
Suddenly, a bottle of Firewhiskey and two cups appeared on the counter of the room. Fred, noticing them first, was relieved and said, “Ah, perfect. Would you like some firewhiskey?”
Hermione wasn’t much of a drinker, but she decided this was the perfect time to start. She nodded, and Fred poured a knuckle’s worth of the drink into both of the cups. He handed her one, and they clinked their glasses together.
“Cheers,” Fred said.
They both downed their drinks in one gulp instead of sipping at it. Hermione spent another few moments coughing since she wasn’t used to the burn of the alcohol. Fred poured himself another glass and finished it just as quickly.
Sufficiently liquored up for the moment, Fred said, “So. Here we are. Nervous?”
“Me? No,” Hermione said, sounding nervous. “You?”
“Nope,” Fred said. “I want this to happen.”
Hermione nodded gravely and said, “So do I,” even though she clearly did not look like she wanted it happen.
Neither of them moved. Both of them jumped when music started playing in the room. Fred, feeling spurred on by the room, held out is hand and asked, “Want to dance?”
“Er, sure,” Hermione said.
She tentatively took Fred’s hand. He pulled her a little closer, and she stiffened. Fred, not wanting to pull her any closer either, merely put his other hand at her hip. They swayed like that for a few moments, the space between them as wide as if another person were in the middle.
Unable to take it any longer, Hermione pushed away. She said, “I have to…use the restroom.”
“Oh,” Fred said, secretly relieved that they were no longer dancing. “Okay. I’ll…uh…pour us more firewhiskey.”
Hermione was already opening the bathroom door before he could finish. Ron, who had heard everything, said, “We’ve almost got him, I can feel it.”
“This is getting out of hand,” Hermione insisted.
“We’re so close, Hermione,” Ron said. “Get back out there and seduce him until he cracks!”
At the same time, Fred was telling his crew, “She’s not backing down!”
“It’s Hermione,” Ginny said. “You can take her.”
“Maybe you should take off your shirt,” George suggested.
“Oooh yes, good idea,” Ginny nodded. “She gets embarrassed so easily, especially when there’s naked flesh.”
Harry, hoping this would have been over by now, said nothing.
Fred pulled his shirt off, handed it to George, and went back inside. He was closing the door again right as Hermione came out of the bathroom again. When she noticed that he now had no shirt on, she stopped and looked anywhere but him.
A few seconds later, she noticed that he was at the door and said hopefully, “Oh, you’re going?”
Fred whipped around quickly, which made Hermione start looking around again in order not to look directly at his bare chest. He said, “No, no. I’m not leaving. Just, uh, getting more comfortable.” He paused. “This is my chest.”
Hermione swallowed hard. “Yes, I - I noticed. It’s very…nice.” She was not, in fact, looking at his chest enough to determine if it was nice or not.
Fred had decided enough was enough, and that he needed to finish this off once and for all. He blurted out, “I’m gonna kiss you now.”
Hermione, now looking down at her shoes, seemed rooted to the spot as Fred came closer. Fred took his time crossing the room, pausing at each step. It was as if he was waiting for Hermione to break each time he moved one foot forward. She never did.
Finally, Fred’s feet were right next to hers, which she noticed because she was still looking determinedly down.
At this point, if Hermione had looked up, she would have seen the crease that had finally made its way on Fred’s forehead. He was not looking forward to this, but Ron had never gained the upper hand on him before and Fred wasn’t going to let him start now.
Fred decided to give Hermione a warning, at least, and said, “Here it comes. Our first kiss.”
Fred leaned forward, but as soon as he did Hermione jumped back as if he had burned her. She shouted, “Okay! You win! I can’t kiss you!”
Fred, looking triumphant, shouted, “And why not?!”
“Because I’m in love with Ron!"
At first, Hermione looked surprised by her own admission. Ron opened the bathroom door, looking just as shocked. They seemed to only have eyes for each other. Eventually a lopsided grin appeared on Ron’s face at the same time that Hermione started beaming.
As George, Ginny, and Harry opened the door behind Fred, Hermione repeated confidently, “Love him! That’s right, I love Ron!”
She ran to Ron and flung her arms around his neck. She told him, more quietly than her previous declarations, “I love you, Ron.”
Ron wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. He was grinning broadly from ear to ear. “I love you too, Hermione.”
Then he kissed her long and hard, not giving a damn who knew about their relationship. To Harry’s immense relief, neither Ron nor Hermione cared any longer about keeping this a secret.