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Ken settles down on the makeup chair and lets Mac work on his face. There’s a cup of coffee on the counter in front of him, still steaming hot, and he glances up at Mac before asking, “Kanino yan?”
Mac looks towards where Ken is pointing and shrugs. “Sayo malamang,” he says as goes back to gingerly drawing eyeliner on his left lash line. “Hindi naman ako nagka-kape.”
“Hm,” Ken hums, looking around at the room, but only with his eyeballs because Mac would smack him if he moved anything else on his face while he was working. He couldn’t see the other members in his periphery nor in the mirror in front of him; they were probably already getting dressed for the show. He looks back at the coffee cup and is grateful for whoever put it there because he was feeling pretty low in energy this afternoon and could definitely use the caffeine boost.
“Tingin sa taas,” Mac directs.
+++
Ken rubs the back of his neck and cocks his head from side to side. His head feels full and heavy from the tension in his muscles, and it hasn’t eased up all day.
“Umupo ka nga.”
He looks to his side and Justin is standing there with his hands on his hips. “Ha?” Ken asks. “Bakit?”
“Basta,” Justin says, motioning for him to sit on the floor.
They’re in the dance studio practicing their latest choreography and are now having a 15 minute break before they have to start again.
Ken looks at Justin suspiciously before sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing the mirror that occupies the whole wall.
He watches as Justin kneels behind him and places both hands on his shoulders. Justin’s eyes are trained on his back, fingers roaming the area around his neck, until his thumbs seem to find what they’re looking for. Then he presses.
Ken can’t stop the moan that escapes his lips at the glorious pressure being placed on the knot in his back. Justin chuckles above him and keeps kneading as Ken shuts his eyes to focus on the sensation of stress leaving his muscles with every stroke.
After a few more rubs Justin stops, and Ken flutters his eyes open and meets Justin’s smiling ones in the mirror.
Justin has been massaging on top of the fabric of his shirt, and now he watches Ken carefully as he slips his hands under the neck of it and continues his kneading, skin to skin.
Ken’s eyes just about roll into the back of his head at how good it feels. He arches his back and leans into Justin’s touch– his magical, wonderful, divine touch–and sighs.
Ken is a few strokes short of melting into a puddle when he hears someone clap loudly a few times, signaling the end of their break. “Ok, start na tayo ulit!” Pablo yells.
Justin abruptly stops and gets up, stretching his arms over his head and going to his starting position.
Ken is left confused, still sitting on the floor, feeling lightheaded and considerably more relaxed.
+++
Ken doesn’t even know what this event is for. Was it Avignon? Dunkin’ Donuts? Their schedule has been packed since the beginning of the month and the engagements have been blurring into one another. He’s grateful for all the work but it’s been hard to keep up; he feels like he’s being chased, unable to find steady footing as he’s running from one affair to the next.
When they get to the venue he learns it’s a dinner for Selecta. The brand is introducing a new line of flavors and they’ve been invited to perform and be part of the launch. Ken has been running on fumes lately and while putting on a show is second nature to him– he could probably perform Gento in his sleep at this point– socializing afterwards isn’t. He feels a little jealous of Stell, who seems incapable of being awkward no matter the situation.
After their performance Ken has to use the washroom. Once he’s done he is led to a table with other people, most of whom Ken doesn't know. Probably some corporate bigwigs, if he had to guess. The rest of the members are already seated, watching the emcee on stage talk about what’s coming next for the company. He scans the empty seats; from where he is walking he can see there are a few in between the people whose names he doesn’t know, and he feels a jolt of anxiety at possibly having to sit next to a stranger. Then as he comes closer he sees that the seat beside Justin is empty, and feels a rush of relief. Of course Justin saved him a seat. He laughs at himself for even thinking that he wouldn’t.
“Tumae ka?” Justin asks when he sits down.
Ken makes a fist like he’s about to punch Justin, and Justin laughs, and Ken feels the ground beneath him rumble to a stop after what feels like a week long earthquake.
“So tumae ka nga?” Justin inquires once more, and Ken pinches his thigh.
“Oo,” he replies, and Justin laughs again.
+++
Ken is laying on his side on the couch, arms in between his legs, his entire body curled into itself. He hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in days, so he tries to catch naps whenever he can, microdosing on rest just to keep himself going on this tour.
He feels a weight settle near his feet and blinks open an eye to peek at who it is.
Justin is sitting at the end of the couch, looking at his phone.
He closes his eye again and tries to sleep. He shivers slightly, the AC is turned up in the room and he’s only wearing a shirt and pants. The weight suddenly disappears from near his feet and he feels bereft at the departure.
A moment later, he feels something soft and thick being placed on top of him. With the way he's lying the jacket is almost able to cover his whole body. Ken registers Justin’s scent in the fabric, and smiles as he inhales it in. The weight returns at his feet, bringing him comfort. He drifts into sleep.
+++
Ken rummages through his luggage, annoyed. He knows he packed his toothbrush but apparently it grew some legs and escaped from his bag. That was the only explanation.
He grumbles as he sits on the bed. It wasn’t the first time his toiletries magically acquired limbs and walked out of his suitcase to make his life miserable.
Justin drops a new, still packaged toothbrush on the pile he created on the floor of their hotel room. He looks up incredulously. How did Justin know that was what he was looking for?
“Lagi mo kasing nakakalimutan,” Justin shrugs. “Pinagdalhan na kita ng extra.”
Ken’s heart tightens inexplicably at the mundane statement. It’s just a toothbrush, but it’s not just a toothbrush. Everything that Justin has ever done for him floods his mind at that moment, all the times he's looked after Ken in his little ways– the reminders to drink water, the small touches to remind Ken that he’s there, the soft tugs to pull him back when he drifts too far. And Ken realizes that he has always sought Justin out, in every crowded room his eyes are always searching for him, his legs moving of their own accord towards him like Justin was a lighthouse and Ken a lonely ship, floating aimlessly until he found his way back home within Justin’s radius, where he feels safe.
He looks towards Justin, who’s now setting up his things on the counter of their shared bathroom.
He walks in and stands behind him. Justin is oblivious, focused on arranging his skin care products around the sink.
And Ken has never been too good with words, so he opts to move closer, his front almost touching Justin’s back.
“Jah,” he says, voice hoarse for unknown reasons.
Justin finally looks up, and he’s startled for a moment at how close he is. Then Justin’s gaze softens when he sees Ken’s expression, a look of understanding dawning on his own. It must be painted clear as day on Ken’s face: he loves Justin. He has always loved Justin. Years and years of knowing it in the back of his mind, and now the truth of it settles in his stomach, heavy but comfortable, like a paperweight keeping everything from flying every which way.
They look at each other in the mirror for a long time, words absent but entire histories spoken in their eyes. Ken cautiously moves forward those last few inches, until he is pressed up behind Justin, and Justin lets him.
He breathes in and envelopes Justin’s waist from behind with his arms, and Ken’s heart explodes at the sublime way they slot into each other. He rests his chin on Justin’s shoulder and nuzzles his neck, unable to believe he is able to do this, but also feeling like it was inevitable that he should do this.
Since the moment they met they have been circling each other like gladiators in an arena, the knowledge of their softness for each other a lion in between them. They’ve ducked around it for so long, and Ken can’t think of a single reason right now why they should keep ignoring it.
Justin smiles at him as he places his own arms on Ken’s and rests his cheek on the side of his head.
“Okay?” Ken asks, the single word holding a universe of possibilities.
“Okay,” Justin answers, and Ken squeezes him and feels his world tilt slightly to the left, just a few degrees into perfection.
+++
Ken sits on the makeup chair and finds the cup of hot coffee waiting in front of him. He takes a sip of it and grins at the taste; as always, it was made with criminal amounts of sugar and cream, just the way he likes it.
He looks back at Justin, who’s doing warm up stretches with the rest of the crew behind him.
“Thank you, Jah,” Ken says, and Justin’s face turns a little red when he sees Ken holding the cup. Justin never revealed he was the coffee fairy, but Ken has always been smarter than people gave him credit for.
“Welcome,” Justin mumbles, hiding a small smile as he leans down to touch his toes.
END