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Drew was not having a good day, he’d been called for an away team to analyze some errant fauna on an otherwise barren planet, and his Blue and black uniform was filled up with sand in unmentionable places; like a wetsuit but worse. Sometimes he wished for a uniform that wasn’t a leotard, but Starfleet was weird sometimes about the smallest of details, such as thinking pants and a shirt would cut a figure that was too harsh and imposing; there was nothing Drew could do about it though being just an ensign. The sand continued to rub against his skin as he walked out of the shuttle bay, tailing a Rigelian named Shil-til that was slightly too talkative and who had invited him for a meal, in the somewhat small mess hall of the starship that both worked on. Drew had felt sort of pressured, and he probably wouldn't have caved in, had it not been for the fact he was starving; and some of the actual ale found in the USS. Golden Road's ten-forward sounded good to him at the moment. The fact that Shil-til was someone who Drew could tentatively consider a friend, considering they had hung out together on several occasions thanks to a similar posting and rank, came last into Drew’s reasoning; he was too grumpy to think straight. When they reached ten-forward after an awkward shuffle through hallways that were always slightly too bright for Drew's personal taste in decor, he had expected Ten-forward to be a busy and loud affair, and was relieved to see that it was quiet and empty; understandable considering lunch had ended an hour ago and only a few people who held irregular shifts were currently present.
One quick order later, and Drew had finagled an entire bottle of Ferenginar wine from the bartender, a bit of an expense out of his personal credit allotment; but it was something that he sorely needed considering he could feel his bones creaking with every step he took. Shil-til on the other hand had just ordered a simple synthale along with their meal, and Drew held in a scoff at the sight of the boring beverage choice of his friend. Shil-til then began leading them to a center table, nearest to where most of the other officers present were currently eating, causing a frown to form on Drews face. Sure the central tables had the best view of the faux-window viewscreen that came standard to most federation mess halls, but Drew was not in any mood to deal with people.
“Hey”, Drew spoke up before they got too close to the center seats and it got too awkward to bring the request up, “let's find a corner seat”.
“Hmm”, Shil-til responded with a nod, his posture even more impeccable than a Vulcans; as he swiftly altered course with grace befitting of a dancer. Drew couldn’t help but feel swept up in their wake every time they got together (usually at Shil-til’s insistence), it always made him feel uncomfortable. They eventually found a seat in one of the rooms far corners, and no one had looked in their direction, a fact that Drew was relieved to confirm as he all but fell into the seat across from where Shil-til was already seated eating his meal all proper-like and poised. Drew grit his teeth and went for a small sip of his wine, he was probably drinking it wrong considering how indulgent Ferengi were, but it was so sickeningly sweet with no other detectable flavor he could only manage a few small sips from it every so often. Drew knew from the few other times he had dined with Shil-til after a shift, that he was in for a silent diner, immediately followed by a conversation that would last anywhere from a few minutes to over an hour if he was unlucky and Shil was feeling talkative. The sounds of scraping and chewing filled Drews ears, and then a few moments later they were done with their meals, Drew silently sent out a prayer directed to no god in particular, so that this time the conversation wouldn't last too long; and across the table Shil-til drew out a personal PADD from their belt pouch setting it on the table gingerly with his long thin fingers their grooved face alighting into a smile.
Drew prompted the conversation to start knowing that was what Shil-til wanted, “what's this”, he spoke and pointed to the PADD with a finger.
“Technical data”, Shil responded, “here look” one of their lithe fingers clicked around on the PADD with efficient purpose; and the data storage device made a pinging sound. There was a small flash, and a holographic model was floating in the air above the table, a small ship of Denobulan design flying majestically over two plates of finished spaghetti (which had left Drews mouth a stained mess and Shil with nary a stain on themselves). The PADD underneath the projection displayed a barrage of engineering jibber-jabber that Drew couldn't place, and even though Shil-til was more competent and put-together than he was, Drew doubted that Shil could parse the text either.
“Denobulan design obviously”, said Drew raising an eyebrow, “but can you really understand all that”; he pointed to the PADD.
“No”, the Rigelian shook their head, “but that's not why I’m looking at it or any other ship designs for that matter”.
“You're looking at ship designs now”? Questioned Drew, knowing intellectually that Rigelians were prone to flights of fancy, last week Shil had spent significant time looking up fruits from across the federation, and had carried an apple with him at all times for some esoteric reason until come sunday he just stopped abruptly. Supposedly it was because Rigelian culture valued the pursuit of spiritual affairs, but Drew didn’t really get it. “Going to find God in a starship” he quipped and took a small sip of the wine he had barely touched.
“Yes”, Shil-til bluntly stated causing Drew to blink, “or… well, not God exactly, there’s no revered beings in our spirit-path; but I can still find an insight within this ship”.
“Oh right, sorry… tired”, Drew rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and let out a brief chuckle he’d forgotten about that particular part of his friend's culture.
“Apology accepted, are you alright”? Shil-til questioned a small frown on their thin lips, “I know Non-Vulcanoid folk, have a weak constitution for the desert”.
“Oh I’m fine, a little tired yeah, but go on… how's this gonna advance your spiritual path”? Drew rubbed his eyes in a vain attempt to expunge the fatigue that was clouding his every thought.
“Well this is a Denobulan medical ship, seen in use before the founding of the federation”, Shil explained; causing Drew to take a second look at the craft noting its small stature and strange two pronged shape that looked slightly like a beak. “It's based after the Denobulan Beak-Fish native to their planet's freshwater rivers”. Shil-til tapped on his PADD a few times and Drew nodded in interest as he was shown the fish in question. The Rigelian then continued his lecture which Drew had apparently spurred them into. “This fish preys on a species of mollusk found only on Denobula, hence the beak, the thing is this mollusk produces a potent toxin alongside its hard shell; so beyond the beak the fish had to evolve countermeasures of its own”.
As Shil stopped to breathe Drew, who was leaning slightly forward, now slightly invested in the topic, considered what his friend had said; he thought he knew where this was going. “Let me guess”, he said, “the fish has some-sort of anti-toxin in its biology and that's why the ships were built to resemble the fish”?
Shil-til sighed but responded in the affirmative, “yes, it was an anti-toxin that early Denobulan civilization used to treat poisoning, the ship's hull is a callback to that, and a statement inferable only to Denobulans that the ship is meant to fight back against harmful ailments”.
“That’s pretty cool I guess”, Drew shrugged, “how does it help in your journey”?
The Rigelian let out a tittering little laugh like birdsong, “it’s nature that's always a helpful companion in the journey, you can always count on it to show you the path again if you get lost”.
“What do you mean by that”, Drew asked before sneaking a glance at the clock displaying ship-time across Ten-forward,
“Well it's like this”, Shil continued, elated to be talking about his faith. “Do you know of the Fibonacci Spiral, that pattern which shows up in nature in things such as galaxies, storms, and nautilus shells”.
“Yeah of course I do, mollusks again, where is this going”? Drew was starting to get antsy, this conversation was starting to take too long especially with all of the sand in his uniform still.
“Like that mathematical pattern, us Rigelians believe that physical objects can show us the way forward through careful observations of their form, philosophy is alive and well on Rigel-V I assure you”. Shil clasped their hands together, and let out a breath, “thanks for listening Drew; I enjoy talking about my spiritual side and you're a good listener”.
Drew looked away from his friend briefly, it must be nice to believe so firmly that you have a destiny, without voicing anything. “You're welcome”, Drew said a little stiffly, “it's been a long shuttle ride so I think I'll take this wine here”: he picked up the Ferengi wine bottle swirling it “and retire to my quarters”. With farewells said Drew scurried towards one of Ten-forward’s exits, with no intention of going to his quarters for anything more than a quick change of clothes, but before he exited the communal eating space he snuck one last quick glance at Shil-til. The Rigelian was talking to a peppy looking trill officer in a skirt uniform, who was animatedly chatting alongside Drew's friend, the sight was normal considering Shil liked to talk but something about it set an unidentified emotion roiling in Drews gut. Though before he could consciously analyze it Drew shook his head and left in a hurry towards his quarters eager to get out of his stuffy uniform.
~
Shil-Til
~
Shil-til felt guilt stirring in his mind as he watched Drew trek across Ten-forward on an exit trajectory, but before he could withdraw himself on a trip back to his own residence on the ship, his sensitive ears picked up the sound of footsteps that were quick and eager paced.
“Hmm”? He said, tilting his head at the Trill woman who stood across from him on the other end of the table where Drew had just been, in a wordless question.
“Oh I-I’m sorry”, the trill woman said, “I just- I couldn't help but notice your friend seemed a little peeved”. She looked like she was going to run away at any second, “my name is Mrill sorry I can leave” she babbled out when she saw the expression Shil-til was giving her.
“Privacy is appreciated Mrill, you do best to remember that”, Shil felt a slight anger in their gut but they knew when it was not worth pursuing, as they were not short tempered; “however yes you are right, he was ‘a little peeved’; if you have advice I suppose that I wouldn't mind hearing it”.
Mrill bowed, “again I’m sorry”, she looked at the viewscreen on the far wall of Ten-forward, “sometimes I can be a bit of an eavesdropper and I don't like seeing people all grumpy like that”.
“Apology accepted Mrill, my formal name is Shil-til, it is nice to meet one who is as empathetic and excitable as you are”. They grinned, and stuck out a hand in approximation of a handshake, which Mrill grasped shortly.
“Was that an insult”? Mrill asked as she let go of Shril’s hand, and shook it in order to clear out the pain from his tight grip.
“No”, Shill gave off a tittering chuckle, “I’ve seen worse ways to insert oneself into a conversation before”.
“Oh good”, said Mrill relief evident in her voice, “I suppose I just wanted to give some advice however qualified I am to do that anyways” she chuckled in a manner Shil didn't quite like the sound of but he elected to ignore it.
“Well go on then”, the Rigelian exclaimed, “advice away; I could probably use some”.
“How long has he been like this”? Mrill asked with an inquisitive gleam in her eye.
Shil thought back to a month ago, and recalled how their friend had started to act on a shorter and shorter fuse; it started with a few minor incidents in the USS. Golden Roads biology lab and escalated to easily forgiven snide comments almost constantly very soon after. Then Drew had begun to stop coming to social events, and only showed up to anything when Shil-til prompted him. “A month”, was all the Rigelian said to the excitable trill now sitting across from him where Drew had sat previously, for some reason Shril thought she looked almost guilty; but he brushed it off as her being still apologetic from her hasty intrusion.
“Forgive me if I say that's an awfully long time to keep that attitude, but at this rate… How much time do you spend with him”? Mrill then glanced at the same wall-clock that Drew had glanced at earlier.
“I always eat with him, and take him out to the occasional event now and then, why”? Shil-til scratched at the back of his head, threading his thin fingers though their glossy black hair.
“Well I hope it doesn't feel like I’m forcing anything on you, but perhaps you should take a more active role” Mrill leaned back in her chair like she was trying to get away from a predator.
“Active role”? Shil simply questioned the Trill across from him.
“Yes, like I mean, actively trying to fix the problem”, Mrill briefly tore her eyes away from the Rigelian, “asking him what's wrong, confronting him y’know”.
“I know”, Shil-til echoed the Trill, “I just didn’t think it would be wise to confront Drew like that; I have read humans are volatile about personal or emotional matters so I did not wish to provoke him. However I think this has indeed gone on long enough it may be worth it to take risks to keep my friendship”. Shil’s mind wandered back to the Denobulan beak-fish and the spaceship, more specifically the anti-toxin which the fish produced, perhaps the confrontation would serve as its own balm but Shil-til was no doctor of the social persuasion. “Thank you”, the Rigelian spoke, “an outside perspective was necessary here, I shall take my leave now”. With that he got up and cursed the sand in their starfleet uniform for grating against their skin.
“No problem yeah, none” said Mrill, as Shill-til got up to leave; she waited until the Rigelian was out of sight, gone from Ten-forward entirely and then she dropped her head into her hands letting out a sigh that had both regret and relief mixed into it.
~
Shil-til (again)
~
The walk back to Shil-til’s quarters was a quiet affair, and the doors to their chambers swooshed open to welcome him back into the personal space they called home aboard the USS. Golden Road. Their room was covered in cloth, rugs and blankets were scattered around in colors that invoked Rigel-V’s desert, while a collection of books sat on a squat bookshelf near his bed, and a personal computer sat off-kilter in one corner of the room. Digging through their closet they shuffled through off-duty outfits until they came across a set of basic tan robes with subtle brown filigree woven into it depicting the path of a famous Rigelian in abstract symbols. Yet he still had sand on him so he had to take a quick shower, which is what they did after laying the robes on their bed.
One quick cool and rejuvenating sonic shower later they found themselves putting the robes on in preparation to go out and find their friend Drew, they turned to face in the vague direction of the wall mounted ship-computer access terminal by the door to their room, and spoke calmly at nothing in particular. “Computer, can you show me the location of Ensign Drew, please”.
The ship-computer terminal in his room beeped and answered in the voice of a digitized human woman, “Ensign Drew is currently in Holodeck four”. Shil frowned at that news, but it was not an odd place to be, as long as one reserved time beforehand they could use the entertainment devices whenever they were off duty. The Rigelian sighed as they had wanted to relax with a new book they’d replicated, but that did not seem to be in the cards if they were to take Mrills advice to heart. So they ambled through the ship's corridors, feeling slightly lost as they went, because it was not an area of the ship they inhabited often; though it was almost impossible to get lost on a federation ship given there were maps displayed on the corridor walls in somewhat regular intervals. Eventually Shil stood in front of a large set of auto-doors with a large four painted on them inside of an orange box denoting them as the entrance to a holodeck. Now given they were one rank higher than their friend, they had technical authority to enter the holodeck even with another person inside, but that was both rude and unwarranted.
So instead Shil-til walked up to a small panel by the door, pressed a button, and spoke to the computer they knew to be listening, “tell Drew that I am outside and wish to come in please”. A query to which the computer responded with an affirmative beep as it was wont to do. It was a strangely long full minute of waiting, before the Rigelian could hear the tell tale hydraulic hiss of opening doors; and soon he was staring at Drew who was wearing what he normally wore while off duty. The human was wearing an olive green turtleneck and dark tan cargo pants, colors almost as subdued as Shil’s own garb; it was something they liked about the human; the two of them shared a preference for muted darker shades of color. What lay behind the human however somewhat perplexed the Rigelian, it was a balcony that much was obvious, but what lay beyond it was not like any cities that Shil-til had ever been to. The buildings of the holographic program were all shades of metallic gray, harsh boxy things that rose and blocked out the sun casting everything into shade, the simulated sky was also choked with heavy smog.
Drew looked at Shil with an irritated expression visible on his gray eyed face, “what do you want”, the human snapped defensive of his downtime.
“To check up on you, what's this program, some sort of sci-fi holonovel; I thought you liked high fantasy more”? Shil flinched under his friend's annoyed gaze, Drews gray eyes felt like they were piercing into Shils body like knives for some reason.
Drew made some sort of unidentifiable frustrated grunt, “well I suppose thanks, but I’m fine; yeah I like high fantasy more but no way am I walking around the ship in ren-faire garb it’s easier for me to play sci-fi holo-games and not have to dress up”. Shil contemplated that statement, taking a moment to absorb the information, calling it a game was an uncommon way to refer to a holodeck program, it usually meant that there were more unrealistic contrivances inserted into the story in a way that holo-novels didn’t do.
Knowing this, Shil tilted his head and asked, “why not a holo-novel”?
Drews expression shifted to slight exasperation as if this was something he had to explain before, “I don't like holo-novels, they're almost always dull and the ones in the genres I actually like are too campy with too little magic or cool sci-fi shit”. Drews voice picked up speed, and Shil recalled that when a human swore it usually meant that they were passionate about something, passion was good and encouraged in Rigelian culture so they let the human talk without interrupting. “No holo-games like the one I’m playing right now are rarer, but they are of much higher quality, this one” Drew gestured vaguely behind himself “is an adaptation of an old pen and paper rpg of denobulan make”.
“RPG”? Shil questioned, noting that this was clearly one of his friends' hobbies, and wincing at the fact he knew so little about someone he spent significant time with.
“Role-Playing-Game”, Drew responded enunciating the three words with reverence, “most of earth's old video and pen and paper games were lost, when humanity suddenly started hating a large chunk of history, it's just a shame because holo-novels could really take some cues from video games of the past instead of fucking Shakespeare”.
“What's wrong with Shakespeare”, Shil-til queried, knowing that the man Drew was cussing out happened to be a very popular if ancient author the humans generally liked.
“Nothing”, came the reply from Drew, “He’s just been boring to me personally, ever since my uncle introduced me to old human media like video games; did you know there are only around two-hundred games from the early two-thousands preserved”.
“No”, said Shil genuinely, “by video games you mean interactive fiction based on a computer”?
“Yeah more or less”! Said Drew, who Shil-til could see had a spark in his eyes now, “do Rigelian’s have something like that”!
Shil wracked his brain for a satisfying answer, there were some entertainment programs still kicking from his species pre spaceflight days, meant to be played with specific hardware; but he could only really recall one. “I recall ‘something like that’ being a fad back in my school days, a friend introduced me to it; a charming little handheld device with a few games on it where you controlled a character that parkour across the screen towards a goal”. Old memories clouded Shil’s mind for a moment, of touching shoulders with his best friend, holding their devices side by side, as they tried to beat each other's score. “I can’t recall its name because I was bad at it, but I remember it being fun”.
“Oh that's awesome”! Drew exclaimed there was a smile on his face, “a platforming game… could you replicate it out sometime I would love to try it”.
“Sure”, said the Rigelian, fully intending to look up the name of the game they had played as a child whenever they next had a chance, “would you mind if I joined you in this ‘holo-game’ you have going right now though”?
Drews demeanor did a complete one-eighty that was obvious to even the somewhat emotionally uneducated Shil-til, a grimace appearing on the human's face. “Uh no”, Shil’s friend said quickly, “it’s meant for one… uh… player it wouldn't work I’m sorry”.
“It's paused right now isn't it”, Shil said, squinting their eyes. There was enough room in the Holodeck doorway to squeeze past their friend; and the Rigelian felt something was off especially since Shil-til was no fool and they had heard plenty a horror story about the nasty stuff that could happen inside the walls of one of the holographic marvels. So with that in mind, they quickly slid past Drew, who was startled into non-reaction by the sudden movement. The first thing that Shil-til saw was a holographic indicator on the balcony of where Drew had stood when he’d paused the program; a bright blue circle of out of place light next to a hodgepodge of tech that looked like a surveillance device. There was a screen on it, not visible from the holodeck doorway, and what the Rigelian saw on that screen made him freeze and justified his rude invasion of privacy.
Now Rigelians have five distinct biological genders, something that meant they had a significantly more convoluted view on the topic of gender in general, nowadays the species was extremely accepting of any gender identity thanks to centuries of having five distinct genders. Which meant that Shil-til could quickly parse the problem he saw on the screen. It was surveillance footage that showed an extremely buxom human girl in clothing that could only vaguely be called that, chained to a chair and gagged; and surrounded by guards in full body imposing jet back armor with angular nasty looking guns held in their hands. The location looked to be a warehouse, and Shil frowned deeply as he parsed the scene.
“Hey”! Came a panicked shout from Drew, “the hell man”. Though when the human saw the disapproving face of his Rigelian friend, he wilted and any protest was wrestled out of his body by inevitable guilt; his friend had just caught him in the middle of a porn game after all which is not the type of thing any sane person wants to be caught in the act of doing. Through a shaky breath the human awkwardly laughed out, “... it’s a… it's a Denobulan made program… not…”.
Shil-til sighed because the dots had already connected in their head, Drew was obviously suffering from some sort of relationship issue and they thought that they knew who it was, “what's wrong, obviously not nothing” the Rigelian spoke trying to keep judgment out of their voice for the sake of their friend.
“I ok…”, Drew looked conflicted emotions dancing across his face, “I just got rejected again”.
“Again”? Shil simply prompted in a questioning manner, before giving a quick command to the computer “computer close holodeck door” which left the two isolated on a balcony overlooking the smoky and gray city.
“Yeah”, Drew sighed and leaned against the balconies railing peering down into the street below, “I swear women all run away from me the second I start talking about any of my interests. You know Mrill, that Trill girl who works in Astrometrics”?
“We just met”, Shil responded calmly, “she talked to me after you left and encouraged me to check up on you, but didn't say that she knew you at all; I thought it was odd”.
Drew let out a pained and short chuckle, “Doesn't want me to feel bad probably, she made an excuse to leave the moment I started to talk about Mario Bros, what the hell is scary about Mario Bros”.
Shil considered what to say, putting a hand on their ridged chin, “well you just explained that humans don't like the period of the past where your interests lie”.
“I know”! Drew practically yelled, “all of my dates leave me halfway though, even when I don't even mention anything about my hobbies, and it's not like I’m not asking them any questions about themselves”.
“Well” Shil-til moved to stand next to Drew looking down onto the concrete streets below the balcony, “perhaps it's just bad luck”.
“What”? Drew looked quizzically at the Rigelian next to him, “Your species believes in pre-destiny, how can you say anything about luck”.
“Pre-destiny yes”, Shil-til tapped his lithe fingers on the holographic metal railing, “but we only believe in it when our paths become clear and unclouded the paths can be disrupted; and it songs to me as if you have begun to wander off your own”.
Drew frowned, “Y’know if I was anyone else, I would be annoyed by your preaching, but Rigelian religion fascinates me”.
Shil-til turned to face Drew looking him in the eyes, “would you like to learn”, they said their voice clear like a cloudless day.
“I think I would like that”, Drew responded with a hint of melancholy in his voice.
“Good”, Shil-til spoke before raising a hand in the universal gesture for halt, “but first I think you need a hug”.
The two shared an awkward sideways embrace, before Drew his face blushing and eyes blurry, sputtered out; “t-thanks I think… I think I really needed that”.