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Will knew when he woke up that it wasn’t going to be a good day. He woke up abruptly at 5:45, before his first alarm, after a night full of nightmares and sleep paralysis episodes. There was no chance that Will could get back to sleep at this point and the world already felt like it was too much. Will rolled over in his bed, trying to get even the slightest bit of sleep. He was unsuccessful, so he just reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone. There was a text from Mike already, apparently he had stayed up later than Will did. Will smiled as he read it, it was just a quick goodnight, I love you text but anything Mike sent him made him smile. Will text back, hoping that Mike had woken up early too. He stared at his phone as he waited for Mike to text back, though nothing ever came through. He must not be awake; it was really early and Mike tended to sleep in.
Will grabbed his sketchbook off his nightstand along with a pencil. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well draw something. Will turned some music on softly and got to work on a sketch for class. Before long, even the quiet music got to be too much. Will turned it off, wincing as he brought his phone closer to press the pause button. He knew at this point that it really wasn’t going to be a good day. Will had felt the crawling out of his skin feeling already but pushed it aside because he just thought that it was because he had woken up early.
He turned his head, looking at the clock on the wall to check the time. It was 6:30 already, a respectable time to get up out of bed and ready for the day. The floor creaked under his feet as he walked across his room, originally heading for his closet. Even the quiet creaking was too much. Will headed towards his desk instead, pulling a drawer open to look for his headphones. Luckily, they were on top and Will didn’t have to search very hard for them. He placed them in his ears, sighing in relief at the absence of sound. Will walked to his closet, trying to pick out an outfit to wear. He ran his hand along his shirts, flinching at the feeling of the uncomfortable fabrics. He couldn’t do flannel today, but that was what most of his wardrobe consisted of. Will sighed as he grabbed the only shirt that felt good, an old sweater of Mike’s that he hadn’t given back after borrowing it once. It was grey and brown and the sleeves were too long on Will, so they covered his hands. He loved it when shirts and sweaters covered his hands, it made the finger-tapping stim he did often a lot less obvious.
Will slid the sweater on, smelling the combination of the Wheeler family’s detergent and the cologne that Will had gotten Mike as a present. Still holding his hand up to smell the sweater, Will pulled his pants drawer open and grabbed the first pair of pants he saw, brown corduroys that he’d thrifted once with Mike. Will sat back down at his desk after putting the pants on, grabbing the hairbrush that lived on the top of his desk. He had a little mirror that he normally did his hair in, not that he did much to it. Most days it was just brush out the bedhead and maybe stick some gel or pomade in it if the hair wasn’t cooperating. Will was glad his hair wasn’t too crazy and brushed out easily, the gel was probably way too sticky to touch and would probably have sent him into a meltdown.
He looked at the clock again, it was 7:15 and the rest of his family was probably awake and getting around. They ate breakfast together at 7:45, so his Mom was probably already in the kitchen cooking. Breakfast was the one thing that she was actually decent at making, she was famous in the Party for her eggs. Mike always joined them for breakfast in the mornings so he’d be here in less than a half hour. Will smiled, hoping that seeing Mike could get him out of his funk. It wasn’t going to be great, but it could be better. Will left his room, heading to use the bathroom really quickly before he went down for breakfast. He stopped by his room on the way out to the kitchen, grabbing his backpack and putting it in the mudroom for when he left. When he got to the kitchen, Joyce was fixing up eggs and toast. Will sat down on a stool at the island, placing his elbows on the countertop.
“Good morning, baby. Do you have everything around for school?” Joyce asked, smiling at Will.
“I think so,” Will said, his voice small. He could barely hear Joyce talking with his headphones on. It was nice, the quiet sounds were overwhelming already. Will was prepared for a bad day at this point, especially if he could barely stand his mom talking with his headphones in already.
“Bad morning?” Joyce asked. She had a second sense when it came to Will’s emotions, Will tried to hide it from her, but she always found out. He'd never been that great at masking, but he often thought that he was hiding it well. Clearly today he wasn't doing well at covering up his feelings.
“Yeah,” Will replied, placing his chin in his hands.
"Nightmares or meltdown?" Joyce asked. She always asked this when Will was having a bad day. The answer determined how she treated him for the day. It wasn't like she ignored him if it was one over the other, but if it was a bad day because of nightmares, Joyce typically hugged him and made sure that he knew he was safe. Meltdown days were different, Joyce normally made sure that she asked Will before she touched him and kept the lights and noise down low. It was nice that she knew exactly how to help him on the days that he needed it, especially when he couldn’t communicate what he needed.
"Both, I think?" Will said, "I had nightmares last night but I feel off like I'm gonna have a meltdown at some point. It's like a pre-meltdown feeling."
"Okay," Joyce hummed, turning to grab the toast that had just popped out of the toaster, "Are we staying on a routine or would you open to a day at home?"
"Routine or I will actually have a meltdown," Will replied, fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater.
"That's fine, I just wanted to offer both options," Joyce said, "Mike should be here soon, do you want to wait for him at the door?"
Will shook his head, tapping his foot on the wooden panel on the side of the island. He sat there, watching Joyce cook breakfast for several minutes. The room was silent besides the noise from the skillet where the eggs were cooking. Jonathan sat down next to him without saying a word, he was home from college on break. Will liked it when he was home, it was weird without his brother just one bedroom down.
"Morning Jon, how'd you sleep?" Joyce asked.
"Fine. How about you?” Jonathan replied, yawning.
“I slept well. Hopper started snoring before I fell asleep so I had to deal with that,” Joyce chuckled. Jonathan laughed a little too, though it was more restrained. Will knew that Jonathan didn’t care much for Hopper and was kinda upset that he had moved in recently. Will thought that Hopper was okay, but he could be really loud sometimes. Joyce and Jonathan knew that they had to be quieter around Will, he’d always been sensitive to sound and had been scared of yelling because of Lonnie.
“Will, how’d you sleep?” Jonathan asked, turning to Will. Jonathan’s gaze was too much, so Will dropped his head before answering.
“Not great,” Will replied, pulling on a small string on the cuff of his shirt’s sleeve.
“Do you want a hug?” Jonathan asked. He always offered to hug Will when he wasn’t feeling good. It was kinda their thing in a way. Will shook his head, declining Jonathan’s offer. It wasn’t that he didn’t want a hug, he just knew that Jonathan wasn’t going to be able to hug him in the right way.
“Just let me know if the answer changes, okay bud?” Jonathan said, the doorbell ringing immediately when he finished talking. Will’s head shot up, knowing that the only person that would be at the front door at this time of day would be Mike. Will hopped off the stool and made his way through the living room and to the front door. Mike stood on the other side of the mostly glass door, so Will could see him. He could see the smile that formed on Mike’s face when he saw Will in his sweater. Will fiddled with the lock, trying to get the door open as quick as he could. It swung open as Will stepped back, letting Mike in the house.
“I thought I lost that sweater,” Mike said, a look of confusion on his face as Will stepped away from the hug he was about to give him, “What’s wrong?”
“Bad day,” Will said, looking down at the floor.
“We can skip school today if you want, my Mom won’t care. I figured out how to turn off the attendance notifications on her phone so we’ll be fine. And your Mom will totally let us stay because she always lets us stay when you’re having a bad day. We can watch shitty romcoms and cuddle, or we could just hold hands if that’s all your comfortable with. I’m fine with whatever you want to do, it’s not like senior year is that important, we’ve already got into the schools we want to get into...” Mike rambled, stopping when Will grabbed his hand.
“We have to stay on routine, sorry,” Will said.
“Don’t be sorry, that’s fine too,” Mike said, catching his breath after talking for so long, “Do you want a kiss or is that too much?”
“I’m not sure,” Will paused, not sure if that would be too much, “No for now.”
“Okay, that’s fine, Will,” Mike said, slipping his shoes off, his hand still intertwined with Will’s. He could do the hand holding, but Will didn’t think he could do much more touch.
“Breakfast?” Will asked, slightly pulling Mike towards the kitchen.
“Yes, I’m starving,” Mike replied, walking with Will to the kitchen. El and Hopper were both in the kitchen at this point and Will could tell that it was going to be a little too loud for him. Mike squeezed his hand; Will must’ve gone stiff when they walked in. He’d never been great at covering his feelings up from Mike either, he could read him like a book.
“Good morning Mike,” Joyce said, “I just finished making breakfast, so we’re all ready to eat. Do you guys want to sit at the table or at the island?”
“I don’t care,” Mike said, looking at Will, “You pick, Will.”
“Table,” Will said, stepping towards the table. It was routine; Will and Mike always sat by the window for breakfast, for all meals really. If Mike wasn’t there, Will still sat by the window. Mike let go of Will’s hand to pull out his chair for him, smiling softly. Will sat down, folding his feet up onto the chair. Joyce walked back over to the island to grab plates, handing them out to the different people. Hopper’s plate had plain scrambled eggs and two pieces of toast, along with the jar of syrup. Will thought Hopper was crazy for putting syrup on his eggs and his toast, which sounded like a nightmare in his mouth. Jonathan had scrambled eggs with cheese and a piece of toast with jelly, a respectable choice in Will’s mind even if he didn’t prefer jelly himself. El was the weirdest, she just ate toast most mornings or chose to make herself some Eggos. She didn’t like eggs, which everybody else thought was crazy. Joyce made herself dippy eggs with buttered toast and she always gave Will the whites of her egg when she was finished eating the yolks. He and Mike got the same thing, dippy eggs and buttered toast, just like Joyce. Sometimes on the weekends, Will asked for scrambled eggs with cheese, he liked both of them but he loved dippy eggs. Mike gave Will a smile before breaking open one of his eggs with his fork. Will laughed at the way Mike was gripping his fork like a toddler.
“Will? Do you have earplugs in?” El broke the laughter, looking at Will with a confused expression on her face.
“Uh, yeah,” Will said, looking down at his plate. He’d honestly forgotten he had them in, but the near silence was still comforting. Will could still hear a lot of the clanging silverware, but it was dulled enough that it didn’t send him into a meltdown.
“Why?” El question, furrowing her brows. Will took a deep breath before responding, not quite sure how to explain without opening up more than he wanted to.
“I didn’t sleep well, so my head kinda hurts. My headphones block out the sound so it doesn’t hurt my head worse,” Will lied. It was kinda the truth, but it wasn’t because his head hurt, it was because too much sound would send him off the edge.
“Okay, just wondering,” El said, going back to eating her breakfast. They spent the rest of the time eating, only occasionally complimenting Joyce on her cooking skills or asking short questions. Before long, breakfast was over and it was time to get to school. El left first, she rode with the girl that lived next door to them, they were friends. Will couldn’t keep track of all of El’s new friends. She’d been pretty sociable in Hawkins and had made a lot of friends along with being generally likeable. She still hung out with the Party on occasion, but she was more often than not hanging with her new group of girls. Mike and Will hung back for a while; Mike helped clean dishes and Will watched, he wasn’t in the right state to help out.
“Will, if you need me to call you out at any time, just text me or have one of your friends text me and I will come get you immediately. I’m just extra help at Melvald’s today because it’s still the new pharmacist’s first week,” Joyce said, “Do you want a goodbye hug?”
“No, I can’t,” Will said, “And I promise to call you if I still don’t feel great, okay?”
“Love you baby,” Joyce said, “Have a great day at school, both of you, and I’ll see you later.”
“Have a good day at work, Joyce,” Mike said, smiling at her before Will pulled him along.
“Love you too Mom,” Will said, opening the door to the garage from the mudroom. He grabbed his backpack, slinging it across his shoulders before following Mike out to his car. Mike opened the passenger seat door for Will while Will opened the back door to put his bag in. He got in the passenger’s seat, buckling up before pulling his feet up onto the seat. He fiddled with his shirt sleeves again, becoming overwhelmed again. It came and went in waves, sometimes he felt completely fine and other times it felt like he could scream, all in the same day. Mike walked around and got in the driver’s seat, starting the car.
“No music, right?” Mike asked, knowing that Will was already struggling with sounds and knew that most of the time, music made it worse.
“Yeah, ‘s too loud,” Will said, his voice small again. He felt weak in moments like this, the days he struggled.
“That’s fine,” Mike said, pausing before he spoke again, “Do you wanna hear a story about Nance and Holly?”
“Sure,” Will said, promptly tuning Mike out as he stared through the windshield. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in the story, but he really just wanted Mike to not have to sit in silence. Normally on rides to school, they talked and listened to their music really loud. Will knew that Taylor Swift was Mike’s guilty pleasure artist even though Will openly loved her music. If Will had a guilty pleasure artist, it was probably the Glee Cast Version of songs, even if he had admitted to listening to them on several occasions. They did good covers of some of his favorite songs and their original stuff was pretty good too. Before Will knew it, Mike’s story was over and they were in the school parking lot.
“Mikey, I don’t think I can do this,” Will said, watching all the teenagers walking into the front entrance of the school. His heart sank into his stomach; there were too many people and they were all going to be loud and run into each other and it was going to be too much. He reached for Mike’s hand, squeezing it tight. He needed the pressure at this point, it always helped to ground him.
“You don’t have to go in, I can call your mom and take you home,” Mike said, “But I promise I will be with you the entire time.”
“Take a deep breath, clear your thoughts, and do it even if it scares you,” Will said, repeating the words that his Mom had told him every time he was about to do something that he was nervous about.
“Just like that,” Mike said, squeezing Will’s hand. Will turned to look Mike in the eyes, pressing a quick kiss onto his lips before turning around and opening the car door. Will got out of the car, grabbing his backpack from the backseat. Mike walked around the car to meet up with Will.
“You ready?” Mike asked, locking the car.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Will said, starting to walk towards the front doors. Luckily, by the time that he got there, the crowd had thinned out and Will could walk in without worrying too much about whether somebody would bump into him or not. Mike was by his side the entire time, which made things substantially better. Will had every class period with a member of the Party, even though he didn’t share every class with Mike. They all sat together at lunch, most days in the library because Will couldn’t stand the cafeteria even on a good day. Will and Mike shared first period together; they had creative writing with the entire Party, minus El. The Party didn’t really include El anymore; she was their friend but ever since Max had started playing D&D with them, the Party had been exclusive to the actual D&D Party. Will and Mike made it to first period, sitting down in their seats at the back of the classroom.
“You made it through the hallways, that’s good,” Mike said, smiling at Will, “Do you want me to tell Asher how you’re feeling so she doesn’t call on you?”
“Sure,” Will sighed, watching as Mike walked up the classroom and over to their teacher’s desk, talking with her. Will got his computer out of his bag and opened it up, immediately turning the brightness all the way down. Before Mike could get back to him, the rest of the Party walked in, loudly laughing at something that somebody, most likely Dustin, had said. Will’s stomach clenched; the noise too loud in his ears. Max met his eyes and immediately stopped laughing, she could read him as well as Mike and Joyce could. She turned to the boys, raising her eyebrows to get them to quiet down. Mike made his way back over to the desks in the back, smiling at their friends before sitting down in his seat next to Will. Max sat down on the other side of Will, staring at him as if she were studying him. Will looked away, not quite sure what she was doing.
“Will, are you okay?” Max asked, narrowing her eyes in study.
“It’s a bad day,” Will replied, watching Max’s eyes go wide. She rolled her eyes, laughing at herself for not connecting the dots sooner, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen a million of Will’s bad days.
“That makes sense,” Max said, “Do you need us to be quiet?”
“Yes please,” Will nodded, looking down at his shoes. He loved that his friends were so quick to help him out but sometimes he wished that they didn’t have to and he was just normal. Lucas went to say something, but the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Will’s first two classes of the day went okay, but he had those with Mike. He let the teachers know that Will wasn’t comfortable answering any questions and he was having a rough day. It wasn’t until third period that things started going downhill. Will and Lucas had forensic science together, the rest of the Party was in environment science at the time. Lucas stepped up and let Mr. Julian, their teacher, know that Will wasn’t in a good headspace and he probably was going to have to step out for a while. This happened in forensics a lot because of the sensitive material that they covered. Will was fine with it on most days, but sometimes there were triggers in their class material. Julian understood and exempted Will from any assignments that he couldn’t do, but it still could be a random thing that set him off.
Will was just sitting in his seat, listening to his teacher talk about what the most important tool to identify a firearm with was. It was a comparison microscope, Will was paying attention enough to know that. He tuned the teacher out, it wasn’t hard to do it with his headphones in. But before Will realized it, the room started to cave in and his breath became erratic. Will tried to calm himself down, but he couldn’t. Lucas looked over, seeing the state that Will was in. Luckily, Will’s backpack was on the side closer to Lucas so he could easily reach in and grab the blue pass in the front of Will’s binder. Their teach had just stopped talking to give them worktime, so Lucas was able to wave him down to come over.
“Will, we’re just gonna step out into the hallway for a while, okay?” Lucas said while Julian was walking over, hoping that he was still conscious of his surroundings. Will nodded, still internally panicking. He heard the scrape of the stool next to him being pulled across the room and Will had to force himself to not press his hands over his ears. Everything was too loud, even with his headphones in. Will so badly wanted to flap his hands at his side but he couldn’t do it in class, everybody would stare at him.
“One through ten?” Lucas said softly. This was a system they had come up with years ago when Will was having a panic attack or a meltdown. Anything above a seven meant they had to call Joyce, no matter what Will actually said about it. They used to have zero as an option but Will had never used it because he always felt anxious or overwhelmed in the slightest.
“Eight,” Will said, rubbing his hands together. It was the most subtle stim he could do at the time, he really just wanted to flap his hands but rubbing them would have to work for now. Mike’s sweater, the one Will was wearing, still smelled like him and was soft to the touch, Will didn’t have any problems with texture at the moment. Their teacher walked over, noticing the blue paper that Lucas had pulled out of Will’s bag. He hadn’t noticed it sitting there, but Will knew exactly what it meant. They were close enough to the school’s only single stall bathroom and Lucas knew that the blue pass meant they didn’t have to go somewhere specific, only somewhere quiet. Mr. Julian waved them off, a concerned look on his face. Lucas stood up from his stool, trying to keep it as quiet as he could. Will followed, the pair heading out of the classroom and to the bathroom. Lucas still had the blue laminated strip in his hand, he was probably going to use it to get Mike. The Party had come up with a system along with the numbers. Seven and above meant Will needed Mike, five and six was reserved for Max or Mike, and if it was anything below a five then Will was fine with anybody.
Will had three different passes in his binder. He’d got them at the start of high school; he and his Mom had met with the guidance counselor right after Owens had given them the medical paperwork. Will had always been able to go down to the guidance office if he asked, that had been an accommodation he’d had since elementary school when he was first diagnosed. But Owens had updated his paperwork and Will’s guidance counselor had implemented the three laminated slips. The blue one said that Will needed to step out of the classroom and go somewhere to calm down, along with allowing one student listed in his file to go with him to help him. The yellow slip was if Will needed to go down to see the guidance counselor, he used that if he needed to talk over something that had triggered him in class. He also used it to go to the nurse if he had a headache. The green slip said that Will just needed to step out and collect himself for a second, he normally stayed by the classroom doors when he used that one, it was for when things weren’t as serious.
They got to the bathroom quickly; Lucas opened the door for Will, staying outside of the bathroom.
“I’m gonna go get Mike, okay?” Lucas said. Will couldn’t answer more than just nodding, the noise would be too much coming out of his mouth. Lucas left and Will made sure to lock the door after him. He’d probably freak out worse if another kid came in while he was like this. Will sat down on the floor, pressing his back against the cold wall. It felt nice, and Will could press his back up against it hard enough that the pressure started to calm him down. He sat there, lost in his thoughts when he heard a vague knock on the door. Will stood up, hoping it was Mike. He cracked the door open, seeing the other boy standing on the other side of the door, a worried expression on his face.
“Will?” Mike asked, stepping into the bathroom and locking the door behind him as it shut.
“Mike,” Will breathed out as he threw his arms around Mike, hugging him tight. Mike squeezed back, hard. Will sank to the ground, feeling Mike’s calming presence wash over him.
“Hey baby,” Mike whispered, sitting down with Will, placing him on his lap and wrapping his arms around Will’s body, “Lucas got ahold of your mom, she’s gonna come to pick you up.”
Will nodded, finally letting his hand flap softly at his side. It felt so nice, being able to self-regulate the way that he wanted to. Mike stayed wrapped around Will, holding him tight as Will de-escalated. They sat there for what felt like a long time, Will’s thoughts were mostly blank as he tried to calm himself down. Will could feel when Mike’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulling it out to look at it.
“Will, baby, your mom’s here. Do you want to go down to the office or do you need to stay for longer?” Mike asked, “I can go grab your bag too, you don’t have to go back.”
“I’ll go down,” Will said, his voice soft. He felt considerably better, though he didn’t feel any better than he had in the morning. Normally having a meltdown didn’t fix the overstimulation or anxiety, it just returned it to the daily base level.
“Okay, I’m gonna go get your stuff and then I’ll come back to get you, is that okay?” Mike asked, standing up after Will moved off from on top of him. Will nodded, wrapping his arms around his own body. He sat there for another few minutes before Mike came back, opening the door. Will had forgotten to lock it, but that wasn’t really a problem this time.
“Ready to go?” Mike asked, watching as Will stood up.
“Yeah,” Will left the bathroom, turning out the light as he left, “I can take my bag.”
“Do you want it or do you just not want to make me carry it?” Mike asked. Will had a tendency to do things that made him uncomfortable because he didn’t want to inconvenience the others.
“I want to, the pressure’s nice,” Will said, holding his arm out to take the bag from Mike. He smiled, handing the bag over to Will who immediately swung it over his shoulder and held onto the straps. They made it all the way to the office with no problems but Will stopped before they went into the attendance office.
“Come home with me please,” Will asked, grabbing Mike’s hand, “We can watch movies like you said earlier.”
“Anything for you,” Mike said, squeezing Will’s hand. They walked in together, dropping their hands as Mike went up to the desk, signing the both of them out. Joyce was waiting in the main office, wringing her hands together. Mike and Will walked down the hallway to her, a soft smile on her face when she saw them. Joyce said goodbye to the secretary, an old friend of her’s, before they walked out of the school and went to the car.
“Mike, why don’t you just ride with me and we’ll come pick your car up later, okay?” Joyce said, “I’m sure Will wants you to stay with him.”
“She’s not wrong,” Will said, grabbing Mike’s hand again now that they were out of school. They tried not to hold hands at school, the Party as a whole had been bullied enough to know now to do something that would specifically draw attention to them. But Will normally wouldn’t stop holding Mike’s hand on any other given day when they weren’t at school. It was grounding and Mike’s hands were always soft to the touch, something he loved feeling. Will rested his head on Mike’s shoulder as Joyce drove them home, only moving when they got to the house and had to move inside. He immediately sat back down on the couch, pulling Mike with him, and put his head back on Mike’s shoulder, staying there for the rest of the day.