Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“YOU’RE FUCKED, BITCH,” is all the warning Wonwoo receives before getting knocked off the map on Overwatch.

It’s their fifth hour playing, chat is moving so fast that his head hurts, and all Wonwoo can do is stare at his camera, gobsmacked for the facecam. Betrayed? By his own precious cutie dongsaeng? On a peaceful Saturday night drunk stream? 

Apparently!

“Chan, you- yah!” The scolding comes out belatedly. “I trusted you!”

Soonyoung giggles like a maniac through his headphones and Chan stutters out a “sorry, hyung, I’m sorry!” He is not sober enough for this, and swears off ever drinking soju with his stupid friends ever again. “I was aiming for Junie!”

Wow, so it was even an accident. Wonwoo turns to his camera, face devoid of emotion, already knowing that he’s being gif’d to hell and back on Twitter as they speak. The chat loves it. They go crazy over Jeon Wonwoo, man of one face yet the emotional range of a daytime TV melodrama actor.

“You’re not my favorite anymore,” he says flatly as he respawns. He may be drunk, but he leans in towards his monitor and locks in. Fuck the friendly competition. He’s going to destroy them.

Uh oh, one chatter says. Wonu is out for blood.

“Hyung,” Chan whines, because he knows that tone. The tone that says I’m not playing around with you mid-elo losers anymore. I’m Jeon Wonwoo and I’ve ranked Masters for the past six years. I’m going to get 30k damage and wipe the floor with your ass.

Wonwoo grins. Chat goes crazy.

“What was it that you said?” He laughs. “You’re fucked, bitch!”

-

If anyone asks, Jeon Wonwoo works in “digital media.”

Or if he’s feeling particularly outgoing, “content creation.” But he will never outright tell another soul that he’s a Twitch streamer, of all things. 

Wonwoo is a pretty simple guy. He started streaming as GAM3RBO1 in high school, but blew up at the tail end of college, because he and his friends went viral during the Among Us era of 2020-2021. You can thank Soonyoung’s insistence that he always knew the imposter for that. Wonwoo’s the most shy of the group, but has a pretty big following thanks to his face and his chill demeanor. 

You want a streamer who replays Pokemon Scarlet at 4 AM? GAM3RBO1 is your man.

It’s led to some pretty incredible stuff. Brand deals with Samsung and HyperX and Nvidia. 8 million followers on Twitch, 5 million subs on Youtube. Almost by accident, Wonwoo has made a significant name for himself, and he’s no close to stopping anytime soon.

Well, he can mostly thank his friends in that regard. They’re all always hustling, it’s hard not to do the same. As annoying as the lot of them are, they’re pretty incredible creators. Wonwoo never would’ve hit any milestones he has now without them.

Speaking of friends, Wonwoo’s Discord notif sound goes off, several times, in succession. That could only mean one thing.

hoshitigerboy: VAL TN?

hoshitigerboy: VAL TN?

hoshitigerboy: VAL TN?

hoshitigerboy: VAL TN?

hoshitigerboy: VAL TN?

hoshitigerboy: VAL TN?

Wonwoo blinks over at Discord on his second monitor. Soonyoung is a content machine. He never sleeps. It was supposed to be his day off, but one last 5 stack wouldn’t hurt. Especially with his subathon coming up soon, it would be good to promote it.

wonu: sure

WOOZINATION: DO U EVER SHUT UP

hoshitigerboy: baby girl theres a spot on my team w ur name on it

WOOZINATION: go die.

jun4hui: omw

dinochan: OMW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoshitigerboy: jihoon the team pulled up we cant comp w four stack

WOOZINATION: i just got off fucker

jun4hui: so did i but im omw

wonu: lol

WOOZINATION: dont lol at me. im turning my pc on.

dinochan: YIPPEEEE

hoshitigerboy: jihoooooon ium going to KISS YOU!!!!!!

So much for a day off. Once you get Soonyoung on a roll, he won’t let up. Completely relentless.

His rank on Val has been hovering around ascendant for a couple acts now, the highest rank out of the five of them. Hopefully they don’t tank his MMR, since they’re mostly diamond players. Or worse, he gets stream sniped.

Thank god for the stream delay.

Wonwoo sighs and tabs back onto Google Chrome, pulling up Twitter and drafting a tweet. If he’s gonna stream today, he may as well get an audience out of it.

WONU @gam3rbo1

5 stacking val comp NOW 

[link: twitch.tv/gam3rbo1]

Instantly, replies and likes pop up in his inbox. He hums, putting a Spotify playlist on, and goes back to Discord. He scrolls through servers until he gets to his friend group’s, appropriately titled “GENJI OVERWATCH ASS EATERS.”

He hasn’t checked it in a few hours. The argument between Soonyoung and Jihoon seemingly carried on over from the DMs into the General chat. 

The most recent:

hoshitigerboy: well your mom told me she actually liked my comp strats

WOOZINATION: KYS KYS

50 new messages, Discord says. They are completely insane. Wonwoo ignores all of it, even the anime yaoi gifs (sourced by Seungkwan, which they use regularly) from the other members of the server, to head right into VC.

“Hyung!” Chan cheers when he joins. “I thought today was your day off!”

“He didn’t wanna miss out on the content,” Soonyoung says sagely, like he holds all the answers in the world. Which, coming from Soonyoung, of all people, is rather insulting.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and opens OBS. “Thanks, guys.”

“You’re welcome!”

Wonwoo adjusts his headset and his mic stand and makes sure his facecam is in focus. He opens Twitch on his second monitor and changes the stream title to “I was forced to play today,” even if he’s there voluntarily, because Twitch viewers love to watch their streamers suffer. After double checking everything, he hits the “start streaming” button on OBS. 

“I’m live, watch your mouths,” Wonwoo mutters.

“Aye, aye, captain,” Soonyoung says.

You can hear the mischief in Chan’s voice when he says, “my lips are sealed for you, hyung.”

They wait a few more minutes, waiting for Jun and Jihoon to join. Both perpetually late to everything, for different reasons - Jun loses track of time, Jihoon doesn’t respect anyone’s schedule except his own. Soonyoung and Chan start bickering about their newest comp plan for Icebox’s B-site, and Wonwoo mentally filters out their noise into the background.

He boots up Valorant and mutes Discord temporarily to say hi to chat. 

“Hey, guys,” Wonwoo says. “How are you doing?”

wonwoo4pres: MY STREAMER!!!!!

user8367383: what happened to taking today off >:(

hjk2265_ily: u look so good today im blushign

So, all the usual chats, then.

“Yeah, I was gonna take today off, but then Hoshi wanted to five stack,” he explains, eyes quickly tracking over the chat. As more people join, it quickly speeds up. “Yes, I ate. Mmm, tomorrow I’ll probably play League. Yeah, we’re waiting for Jun and Woozi.”

Between oppa, you’re hot! and 5 gifted if you ace, chat runs by fast. If he wasn’t so used to it, he’d be lost in the influx of messages. If it gets too bad, he can always count on his mods to put chat in slow mode, but usually he manages just fine.

“‘What is Hoshi talking about?’” He reads, and tunes back into the conversation just as Soonyoung says “well what are they gonna do if I molly the whole team?” and Wonwoo huffs out a laugh. “I have no idea.”

Most of his audience are people who like chill streams, despite the constant chaos that comes from the friend group. Wonwoo is considered to be a “comfort streamer,” while you watch someone like Soonyoung to either be entertained, or make you feel like at least you’re more sane than he is. 

As far as the audience is aware, Wonwoo is a perfectly relaxed, sane, normal guy.

Which… is mostly true.

“Sorry I’m late,” Jun shouts when he joins. “My viewers roped me into doing marbles, and now I’m supposed to bake a cake on stream.”

The three of them laugh. Wonwoo’s pretty sure that Jun has never even looked at an oven.

“A cake, of all things?” Chan asks. “Hyung, they gotta know that the only thing you can make is hotpot.”

“I told them,” Jun grumbles. “They wanted me to suffer.”

Ah. Classic Twitch chat.

“Okay, I’m here,” Jihoon joins, sounding tired already, and they haven’t even queued yet. “What’s happening? Everyone in my chat wants me to try Jun’s cake…?”

“Ew,” Wonwoo grimaces.

“Absolutely not my cake,” Jun complains. “All of you, stop talking about my cake.”

Chan laughs, loud. “I just want a bite, hyung.”

You can hear the grimace in Jihoon’s voice, “this is getting weird.”

“What about Jun’s cake?” Soonyoung says, coming back from being muted. “Did he make it already? Jun, you’re so fast!”

Chan and Wonwoo laugh, Jun and Jihoon groan. They all talk at once, voices overlapping as they always do in energetic moments. Wonwoo laughs, leaning back in his chair and looking over fondly at chat, full of LMAOS and kekekes and WHY ARE MY STREAMERS INSANE?

Yeah, pretty insane. But Wonwoo would be lying if he said he didn’t love it.

-

All things considering, Wonwoo takes his job pretty seriously.

Streaming requires a lot of energy and time. So, so much time. He’s dedicated thousands of hours of his life to opting to stay home and play games for his audience, rather than do things like go outside or party or do normal-people things that involve normal-people activities.

He gives himself one day off a week, and he sticks to his schedule religiously, unless his friends or a sponsor need him to stream something on a specific day. It’s rigorous and never-ending. His work will never be separate from his life.

Wonwoo is a streamer. His whole life is on his computer. There isn’t much for him out in the real world, besides conventions and award shows.

And on top of that, he’s a celebrity. In a general sense of the word. There’s a lot that he has to be careful of.

His viewers know three things about him:

1. His name is Wonwoo
2. He is 28 years old
3. He has a dog

The public knowledge about him ends there. Of course, old photos and social media accounts have been dug up, but most of it isn’t very revealing. He’s always been private. Sometimes he sees people when he’s out and about so they know that he lives in Seoul, but even that is arbitrary because he won’t confirm or deny any rumors or questions unless they’re vague or impersonal or inconsequential. 

But, tonight. Wonwoo knows that if anyone recognizes him, he won’t be in the proper state to ward them off.

It’s a rare night out, first of all. Second of all, they’re starting out at the club, despite the fact that they’re nearly all streamers (who are clinically losers, for the most part). But it’s Seungkwan’s birthday and he insisted. And Wonwoo is pretty bad at turning down his juniors.

Plus, Seungkwan just hit 4 mill on Youtube, so they’re also celebrating that.

“Wonnie hyungie!” Chan winds an arm around Wonwoo’s shoulders. It’s a wonder how Chan drinks so much yet gets trashed so quickly. “We’re at the club!”

At the club they are. It’s really a wonder. The music is pounding and Wonwoo has to squint at everyone to see them because it’s dark and even with his glasses, his vision is still shit.

“Yeah, we’re at the club,” Wonwoo cheers him half-heartedly and they both down their beer. Wonwoo isn’t any less playful than any of his other friends, but at the end of the day, an introvert is an introvert. 

Plus, it doesn’t help that he towers over everyone like an awkward string bean. There’s nothing he can do about that, really. 

It’s enjoyable enough. Everyone’s energy is up, Sonnyoung and Jihoon in particular because they don’t leave the house all that often, given by the way they are absolutely tearing up everyone else’s asses on the dance floor. Jun is filming with shaky hands as Seungkwan cuts into his cake. Seungkwan’s boyfriend, Hansol - the only one of them who isn’t involved in content creation, bless his heart - leans over with a hand on his back, making sure nothing goes wrong with the whole cutting thing because again, everyone is heavily inebriated. 

“Happy birthday, Boo Boo!” Chan cheers, still leaning into Wonwoo’s side. Wonwoo steadies the both of them, cursing the fact that he has such a soft spot for Chan specifically. It would be so easy to push him off or throw him over to Jun, but then he’d turn those puppy eyes on him that remind him of when Chan was fifteen and tiny, and Wonwoo can’t deal with it. 

Even so, the two of them bust out a horrible rendition of the birthday song, Wonwoo and Chan in horrible harmony, and Jun films every second of it. Hello, Twitter, Wonwoo thinks distantly. Your streamer is an idiot.

“Thanks for leaving the house for me, hyung,” Seungkwan grins up at Wonwoo. “I know how much you love your gamer dungeon.”

Jun and Hansol laugh and Wonwoo sighs. It’s not a dungeon. It’s a respectable gaming room that he keeps dark and cozy at all times. 

“If I missed this, I would never hear the end of it,” is what Wonwoo elects to say, because he knows that there’s absolutely no chance he is winning any argument against Seungkwan, let alone a Seungkwan who is drunk. “Also, it’s nice to see everyone.”

Chan, who is definitely drunk and is watching them with rapt attention, awws and nuzzles his face into Wonwoo’s neck. “Hyung! You’re so cute!”

Seungkwan bounds over to join in on the cuddling, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo’s middle. “Wonu hyung, I love you too!”

This is what always happens at these types of things. Soonyoung and Jihoon wander off to cause chaos somewhere while he and Jun have to grapple with the clingy maknaes. Wonwoo smiles and pats both of them on the back.

“There, there.”

It’s good that they’re in a semi-private room. He would rather not be photographed like this if a fan came across them. Whenever the group of them go out, Hansol tends to watch around them like a hawk if anyone gets too close or too suspicious, because you just never know. Today, Hansol nods off somewhere behind them, where you can see a crowd of people beyond the roped off area they’re in.

“Someone’s been staring at you, hyung,” he says, edging closer. “They’ve got their phone out.”

Wonwoo blinks. It’s best to not turn around, just in case.

“You think they’re a fan?”

It’s dark and hazy in here, but that doesn’t mean he’s unrecognizable. It’s happened before, many times. He’s been picked out in the busiest of crowds and the darkest of clubs. Tonight isn’t a night where he really wants to deal with anyone, not while he’s tipsy and supporting the weight of two of his friends.

Hansol’s face does the thing where he stares so hard, it looks like he’s looking through you. “I imagine so. They’re not moving away.”

“Should we say hi?” Seungkwan giggles, to which everyone choruses a firm no in response. Luckily, Jun is mostly sober and steps in.

“I’ll go get Jihoon and Soonyoung. We can take an Uber to the noraebang room.”

Wonwoo nods. That’s the most logical decision. He deposits Chan and Seungkwan onto a couch and begins to pack the cake back into the box. “We can continue celebrating somewhere more private.”

Chan wiggles his eyebrows at him and sits up. “Hyung! You want to take me somewhere private?”

Almost instantly, the mood goes from sour to I can’t believe how drunk these idiots are. Wonwoo adjusts his glasses and pushes Chan on the shoulder, laying him back down. He goes down easily, being pliant and deceptively sweet. 

“Sure, Channie.”

Chan giggles and Seungkwan leans in, saying “Hyung is gonna take us WHERE?” as conspiringly as possible, and Wonwoo and Hansol exchange a look. They can’t take these fuckers anywhere. Both because of the fans and because they’re unmanageable by themselves. 

All in all, the night ends up okay. They leave the club unscathed, and as predicted, they get absolutely trashed while doing karaoke. It’s a rare night out, but it’s fun. Wonwoo is glad he went.

Even if it means perpetually looking over his shoulder, or having someone look for him. But that just comes with the territory - it’s a part of the job.

-

The fifth time that DEFEAT pops up on Wonwoo’s screen in bright red letters, he finally calls it quits for the night.

“Oh-kay, that’s a sign from God that it’s time to stop,” Wonwoo sighs, looking over at chat. “I hate this game.”

hooncentral224: youll get em next time king

wonutime: no one has ever looked so hot losing 5 comp games in a row

friend4all: this is the last time hyperx is gonna spon u LOLLLLLL

everyone_wonwoooo: o7 wonu u did gr8

kimi_nation7: IT'S THE GAME’S FAULT. VAL IS RIGGED.

He chuckles, reading through chat. Mostly o7 and NOOOO and ONE MORE, TRUST!!!! Chat has too much faith in him. There’s only so much Valorant you can play before you lose all brain functionality.

Today’s stream is sponsored by HyperX to promote a new gaming chair. He’s doing a giveaway on Twitter, too, and it’s only lasted so long because he promised everyone that he’d rank up today - which, y’know, didn’t happen. But he can dream.

“Okay, before we wrap up I’ll do a little QnA,” he offers, since he feels bad about cutting stream on a loss. Well, five losses to be exact, but that’s not the point. As expected, chat goes crazy. It’s not often that Wonwoo willingly gives up information about himself, so it’s a rare treat for his viewers. 

He scans chat. A few things jump out to him.

“Favorite song right now? Anything off of IU’s new album. Favorite game?” He has to think about this one. “Maybe… well, right now I like House Flipper 2. I don’t know if it’s my favorite, though.”

His love for IU is well known, because he had a stream with Seungkwan when she had a comeback and they were both equally enraptured by it. 

min9yu_k: do u like volleyball

Wonwoo blinks. “Volleyball? I don’t really know anything about sports, sorry. But I liked Haikyuu a lot.”

wooonation: FAV HQ CHARACTERR>?????

He grins. “I like Atsumu and Sakusa.”

Chat goes crazy with my babygirl!!!! and HE’S ONE OF US and ur mind omg!! His eye catches on a message that says “you know he’s gay bc sakuatsu is for the lgbt community” before it gets deleted by a mod. Wonwoo laughs hard. He’s not out to his audience, but they always catch on to the little hints he drops. 

“Oh, you guys are funny,” he laughs, adjusting his glasses. “Okay, okay, I’ll take a few more.”

He goes through the usual - TV shows he’s been watching (One Piece Live Action), his favorite out of the friend group (Chan), favorite food (hamburgers), favorite sleeping position (curled up on his side).

“Anything you’re looking forward to this year…?” He reads. “Twitchcon, maybe, in the U.S… If you want me to have a panel, go at Twitch on Twitter, guys. And maybe award shows, if someone decides to have one. And the SKT guys and I were thinking of meeting up later this year.”

Chat, appropriately, goes wild. Wonwoo used to play League of Legends professionally, back when he was in his early 20s, before Twitch was picking up and his life was directionless. He’s left e-sports behind, now, but he’s still involved with friends from the competitive world, and the content is great every time they get together. 

He grins at the camera. “Why? Should I get them together for a game of TFT?”

Yes, the chat all says. It’s fun to rile them up. Heh.

“What will I have for dinner?” He reads from a dono. “Ahh… probably ramyeon. The usual.” He shrugs. As expected, chat is not happy with that answer.

wonus_wife: EAT REAL FOOD CHALLENGE!!!!

hosh_ji_won_chan_jun: u need to learn how to cook bro T_T

Wonwoo puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’ll order something. No need to attack me.” He hums as he pulls up Uber Eats on his phone and shows everyone. “Happy?”

No, they aren’t happy, but it’s better than usual.

He places an order for pad thai and scrolls through chat idly. One more, he’ll do one more, and then go feed his dog dinner. For some reason, his eyes land on one in particular.

min9yu_k: ur ideal type?

It’s… well, it’s not like it’s the first time he’s been asked that. After all, most of his fans think he’s hot, and it’s even been brought up in interviews with e-sports magazines. Not that he’s ever actually answered that before. Not with how private he is. It’s not information that anyone needs, after all.

…But Wonwoo is feeling particularly charitable today. Why not throw them a bone?

“My ideal type…” he trails off, watching chat go nuts with YOUR IDEAL TYPE??? and HE’S FINALLY TELLING US!!! He grins. “Someone caring, I guess. Sweet and kind. And it’s a bonus if they can cook. You know how I am.”

Chat goes absolutely buck wild. Between the people proposing to him for marriage and saying they can cook, Wonwoo watches donos flood in and messages come so fast, the mods put it in slow mode. He laughs.

“Alright, alright. Let’s calm down.”

It’s fun to cause chaos every now and again, especially if it means keeping his audience on their toes. Plus, he wasn’t lying about his ideal type. The last guy he dated back in college, Baekho, was a chef. And that was like 70% of his appeal.

Not that Wonwoo has dated anyone since then, not when he’s so busy with work and so careful about his privacy. He can’t join any apps, in case he runs into a fan. He can’t go out to clubs or bars, again, in case he runs into a fan. The only way he could date if it was another streamer or famous person, really, and that sounds like a massive headache waiting to happen. 

He watches, amused, as chat slowly continues to fill up with people propositioning him.

wonwoo4pres: MARRY ME

wonus_wife: sorry guys he was talking ab me

ahhh83768398: i can change for u babygirl

kjk_hhyl: i will cook u anything im down on one knee rn

“As much as I appreciate the marriage proposals, I think I’m good for now,” he grins. “And let’s end it here for tonight, I’ll be back tomorrow at my normal time, playing Minecraft with the gang.” He waves goodbye. “See you guys!”

After a few seconds of waving, Wonwoo clicks the “stop streaming” button. That was a long session, and his neck is starting to cramp up. The hours sitting on the computer are starting to catch up with him the older he gets. He lets out a sigh.

Well, at least the stream was fun. 

He takes his headphones off and hears scratching at his door. It’s Seollie. He checks the time. Yup, it’s dinner time.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming!” Wonwoo calls out, getting up from his chair. “Stop scratching, or else I won’t get my security deposit back!”

-

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Wonwoo is a functioning 28 year old adult. He sure doesn’t feel like it.

Dinner usually consists of cup or packet instant noodles and a vegetable that has been sitting in his fridge for too long. At least he drinks plenty of water. The reason why his audience is always on his ass about eating well is because they know he can only cook instant food and orders out pretty much everyday. 

The only time he’s made something other than ramyeon, it was bibimmyeon in 2020. And he hasn’t made it since. A one-hit wonder.

His daily schedule usually consists of waking up late, spending the day consuming content or planning content, eating dinner alone, and then streaming into the wee hours of the night. It’s been his schedule for at least four years now. 

King of consistency, Soonyoung says. 

It’s because he has anxiety, Jun says.

Whatever the case is, it doesn’t matter. This is what he likes. This is what he’s comfortable with.

Wonwoo is eating his normal dinner of ramyeon with one (1) decently enough fried egg and various assortment of green onion and pepper. Seollie runs around with a ball in her mouth as T1’s latest match plays on the TV. He already got spoiled on Twitter that T1 wins, but it’s always worth it to watch Faker play League.

He scrolls on Twitter absentmindedly as he eats on the couch. 

The timeline is the same as usual. Tweets from his friends and colleagues occasionally interrupted by memes and trending tweets. Seungkwan retweets sports stuff, which is why he has a volleyball or tennis post on his feed every now and then. He dutifully goes through his own hashtag and likes fan art that is appropriate and funny posts that usually include his tiny, shitty facecam being turned into a meme.

One fan, whose profile picture is Wonwoo with bedhead, has created an image using Wonwoo’s neutral face with text that says “I NEED HIM TO BREED ME!!!” in all caps. He does not interact with that one.

Currently, Soonyoung and Jihoon are playing It Takes Two on stream, and “HOSHI SUCKS” is trending in South Korea. He has a feeling that the stream might have something to do with it. After dinner, he and Chan will join them for competitive Overcooked. Which is something he isn’t looking forward to all that much, because trying to work with Chan on a video game is headache inducing at best. At worst, he will Alt+F4 out of the game and go lay down.

Oh, well. That’s just another part of the job.

He finishes his noodles and entertains himself by looking at the replies on his post about his latest Youtube video, where Chan had to look after Seollie for a day. It’s been a few days and it’s already at 2 million views.

WONU @gam3rbo1

NEW VIDEO: Dino looks after my dog

[link: youtube.com/gam3rbo1]

dino @dinochan

In reply to @gam3rbo1

this is such a banger im a god at content

Hoshi ^_^ @tigerboy42

In reply to @gam3rbo1

poor seollie!!!! is she okay!!!!!

dino @dinochan

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42

WHY WOULD SHE NOT BE OKAY. I AM AN ANGEL.

WOOZI @WOOZINATION

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 1 other

lmao

dino @dinochan

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 2 others

hyung back OFF!!!!

jun @junhui_

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 2 others

LMAO

dino @dinochan

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 3 others

FUCK YOU

Hoshi ^_^ @tigerboy42

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 3 others

i didnt even have to say anything u dug ur own grave

Wonwoo huffs out a laugh. It’s a bit that they have, where they all dogpile on Chan on Twitter, because he can take it the best and their fans think it’s funny. He types out a reply.

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 3 others

chan? you okay?

dino @dinochan

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @tigerboy42 and 3 others

WONWOO HYUNGGGGG THEYRE SO MEANNNNN PROTECT MEEEEE

Chan’s reply comes instantly, which is a little surprising, since Chan is always insisting that he spends the least time on social media out of the lot of them. Which, by the way, is a blatant lie. Wonwoo sets down his empty bowl and stretches. 

The time is ticking closer to 7 PM, which means it’s almost time to stream.

He puts his bowl in the sink to wash later, and makes sure to get his pets for Seollie in before he has to hide away for the night. His phone pings with a Discord notif, and he finally gets up to head to the gaming room.

WOOZINATION: @wonu @dinochan cmere

It comes like second nature to him, settling down at his desk and turning on his PC and getting set up. Everything boots up, and Wonwoo cracks his knuckles. This is his equivalent of clocking into work for the day. He’ll probably be up until 3AM or 4AM. It’s a good schedule because he’s got a lot of international viewers, so when the Korean watchers leave to go to sleep, his viewers in the U.S. and Canada join.

He logs in and opens Discord, his Twitch browser, and OBS. He joins VC, ignoring the immediate chaos he’s met with from Soonyoung and Jihoon talking over each other, arguing about something about the game, waiting for Chan to join.

“You ready?” He asks them, cutting right through the conversation because if he doesn’t, they could go on for hours.

“Yessir!” Soonyoung says.

Wonwoo’s eyes flit over his screen as he sets his stream title and genre, then tabs into OBS and hits the “start streaming” button.

-

It happens during a stream, funnily enough.

It’s a Saturday night, which means everyone in the VC is tipsy off of Soju and giggly and talking over each other. Their intentions when playing Lego Fortnite started off innocent enough, but have quickly devolved into arguing over what villager to let in and the placement of houses and what chest organization system is the best.

“We need a chest just for granite,” Wonwoo is telling Jun, who is not listening to him.

“Uh-huh. Sure.”

Wonwoo narrows his eyes. “Look at your chests. They suck.”

Jun laughs. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Those are my chests, Wonwoo!” Soonyoung’s character runs across his screen, sprinting over to the chest area. “Take it back.”

Wonwoo will absolutely not take it back. The organization of this village is abysmal. He says nothing, and his silence speaks volumes.

“Lol,” Jihoon says, actually saying the letters L-O-L out loud like a cringelord, because he loves to see them suffer.

“We should just get along,” Chan offers, as if he isn’t next on the hit list. Soonyoung gasps, offended, and Wonwoo snorts out a laugh.

“No. We need efficiency.”

“He’s being mean!” Soonyoung pouts, actually pouts, like he isn’t 28 years old and counting. “It’s my server, Woo, my rules!”

“So now it’s a dictatorship,” Jun observes, judgment evident in his voice. 

“I knew it would come to this,” Jihoon agrees.

Overthrow Hoshi’s dictatorship , a dono pops up on Wonwoo’s screen. Wonwoo looks at his facecam and hums, taking the time to contemplate it.

“Yeah, that’s right, take that,” Soonyoung says in the way he does when he thinks that he won the argument, even though nobody agrees with him. “My organization is superior and you can’t tell me otherwise.”

Wonwoo sighs. “Well, you can take your organization system and shove it up your-”

He’s cut off by the quick Discord sound of someone joining the call, and then Seungkwan’s voice screams in his ears in one breath, “WONWOO HYUNG, THE ACE HITTER OF THE SOUTH KOREAN NATIONAL MEN’S VOLLEYBALL TEAM THINKS YOU’RE HOT!”

Like a hypothetical record scratch, everyone goes silent. Wonwoo’s voice trails off and he blinks and looks over at chat, which is full of WHAT? and ?????

What? What the fuck?

“Repeat that one more time, but slower,” Chan suggests after a long moment of silence, which says a lot, because they are still all a little drunk. Wonwoo’s brain is still trying to string together what the fuck Seungkwan even said.

“An interview came out with Kim Mingyu, the ace hitter of the Olympic men’s volleyball team,” Seungkwan says slowly, but with attitude. Of course. “And he’s a fan of Wonwoo hyung. Like, a huge fan.”

Wonwoo blinks again. Huh? Chat picks it up for him.

wonwoo4pres: who even gafs ab volleyball

jdhghajdk: well tell him to get in line

vball_hyung: THEHEEEEE KIM MINGYU???? HELLLOOOO?

sel_ie: ISNT KIM MINGYU THE SUPER HOT ONE 

hoshiiiiiiiii: u can literally see wonus brain malfunction rn

“Really?” Soonyoung sounds overjoyed, which makes no sense because it’s not like he knows shit about volleyball. “Is he hot?”

“Oh, I googled him, he’s super hot,” Chan says, and Wonwoo’s brain finally turns back online. “Hyung, you’re lucky.”

“He said that in an interview?” Is what Wonwoo chooses to say, mostly because he can’t comprehend why on earth a professional athlete would casually mention being a fan of the Twitch streamer GAM3RBO1 in an interview, of all things. “Wait, what?”

“You need to watch it right now, it’s so funny,” Seungkwan says. “He said he has your merch and watches your streams to fall asleep.”

There’s a brief moment where everyone takes that all in, and then everyone besides Wonwoo is laughing. A volleyball player for the goddamn Olympics watches his streams to fall asleep and they’re laughing.  

He looks over helplessly at chat, which is not any better. All the messages are MY NEW OTP and TELL HIM TO BACK OFF and MINGYU IS SO HOT!!!!

Well. What the fuck is he supposed to do with this information?

“Give him a shoutout!” Soonyoung demands. “Tell him thanks!”

“This is so funny,” Jun says.

“Wonwoo doesn’t have an ounce of athleticism in his body, but his fans are Olympians,” Jihoon laughs. 

“Hyung, and he’s hot!” Seungkwan wails.

Chan will not stop laughing. 

“I fucking hate all of you,” Wonwoo mutters, sighing, head in his hands. That doesn’t keep them from laughing and talking over each other, all way too excited about this… this situation. 

Please watch one of his games, a dono comes in. He’s so hot and good at volleyball you gotta check him out.

“Is all you have to say about this man is that he’s hot?” Wonwoo asks chat, out loud, which causes another wave of laughs.

“Well, he’s also one of the best players in the country,” Seungkwan offers. “But it doesn’t take away from the fact that he just looks so good while doing it.”

Jesus christ. Wonwoo is doomed.

“You have a boyfriend!” Chan announces, apparently offended on Hansol’s behalf.

“Hansol thinks he’s hot, too!” Seungkwan yells back.

“Everyone who thinks he’s hot, say ‘I’,” Soonyoung says, and it’s followed by everyone in the call (minus Wonwoo) saying “I” or a variation of “yes” and “absolutely.”

wonwoo4pres: i take it back if one of us gets wonwoo i want it to be mingyu

wooooo_time: im looking at pics of him and shaking is he a god

everyone_say_woo: so kim mingyu is one of us huh…..

t4tlover: why does wonu look so lost rn. is it that shocking. sir ur a CATCH!!!

“I don’t get it,” Wonwoo says. Chat is going so fast that he can barely make out any of the messages.

“What is there to not get,” Soonyoung offers. “He’s famous and he’s hot and he’s good with balls.”

They’re drunk enough that no one even groans at that joke, they just laugh even harder.

“Please, I want a clip of you giving him a shoutout,” Chan says, using his whiny voice. “Say, like, “Kim Mingyu, thanks for watching. Saranghae.””

“Absolutely not.”

“He’s gonna see this and be honored, surely,” Soonyoung says. “Be all like, ‘Wonu-ssi mentioned me on stream!’”

Jun is still laughing, the traitor. “Don’t be mean to him.”

“Mingyu-ssi, I am a fan of your work,” Seungkwan says, seriously and with complete honesty. “If you are watching this, please tweet at me. It would make my day.”

“Do not tweet him, he’s taken!” Chan says. 

“Stop cockblocking me!”

This moment is so surreal. There has never been a remotely famous person who has ever said they liked his content, besides other content creators who look up at him. He’s never had another famous person from a different field of work altogether take the time to say “I like GAM3RBO1.” It’s weird. Wonwoo stares at his cam, in a daze.

“Why does he like me?” Wonwoo wonders out loud, which is the wrong thing to say, apparently.

“You’re hot!” Soonyoung says.

“Shut up, don’t even,” Seungkwan groans.

“You have 8 million followers,” Jihoon suggests.

“Wonwoo,” Jun says disapprovingly.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Chan yells.

Well, at least he knows that his friends are willing to fight for his honor when it comes to his appeal as a streamer. Between chat going at rapid speed and his friends taking turns screaming in his ears, Wonwoo looks helplessly at his facecam and sighs. 

The stream is unsalvageable from there.

-

Even though it takes a little convincing, when the stream is over, Wonwoo, Chan, Seungkwan, and Soonyoung sit on VC together to watch the interview.

Seungkwan streams the interview from Youtube. It’s with W Men Korea. A very high class company, where only celebrities are interviewed. And he, of all people, was mentioned?

“Look, hyung, he’s hot,” Seungkwan says, and then starts the video.

After the logo pops up on screen, it cuts to a… very attractive man. He’s wide, broad shoulders and bulging muscles out of a sleeveless shirt. His hair parts in the middle, curly around his ears. He’s smiling, small and… oh. He’s kind of cute.

Fuck.

KIM MINGYU, the lower third says. This, Wonwoo realizes with belated embarrassment, is the guy who likes him.

This… hunk. Is the guy. Who likes him?

“He’s the ace of the Daejeon Samsung Bluefangs,” Seungkwan supplies, like that jumble of words have ever meant a single thing to Wonwoo’s chronically non-athletic brain. 

“Hi, my name is Kim Mingyu,” the guy on his screen says, voice deep but surprisingly light. He talks cutely, like he has a pout in his voice. A bit of a lisp but it works for him, and Wonwoo hates it. “I’m a middle blocker for the South Korean Men’s National Volleyball Team.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo breathes out. Oh. Mingyu takes a moment to smile at the camera, and Wonwoo feels himself stop breathing.

“No fucking way this guy is a Wonwoo fan,” Soonyoung says. “No fucking way.”

Chan groans. “Why couldn’t he be my fan?”

“Hmm, the first question…” Mingyu trails off, reading off of a card. Wonwoo watches with rapt attention. “What do I like to do in my free time? I like to watch movies and hangout with my friends, mostly.”

Oh, a painfully boring hot guy. He’s Wonwoo’s type to a T.

“I watched Extreme Job, recently, and it was really funny, so I recommend that,” Mingyu says. “And I like watching stuff on Twitch.”

“Oh no,” Wonwoo hears himself say.

“Oh yes!” Seungkwan cheers.

“There’s this guy…” Mingyu trails off and giggles a little bit to himself. “His name is GAM3RBO1. I’ve been watching him since he was in T1. I really like his streams. I have one of his jerseys. His voice is soothing, so I listen to his streams to go to sleep.”

This is it. This is when Wonwoo fucking dies.

“He’s been a fan since you were in fucking T1?” Chan sounds incredulous. “Hyung, he’s not just a fan. He’s an OG.”

Mingyu giggles again. “I’m his fan, so this is kind of embarrassing to say. And I doubt he likes volleyball very much. But I hope everyone checks him out, because he’s a great creator.”

Oh my… oh my god. Wonwoo falls back into his chair, and the noise makes the green around his icon on Discord light up.

“Wonwoo, are you still alive over there?” Soonyoung says shrilly. “Did you just die?”

“Oh my god.”

“Kwan, you fucking killed him!” Chan yells. 

Seungkwan, bless his heart, pauses the video. “Hyung,” he says slowly. “Are you having a crisis?”

Wonwoo groans. He is. “I can’t watch any more of this.”

Fact: Kim Mingyu is hot. Fact: Kim Mingyu is his fan. Fact: Kim Mingyu just professed his fondness for Wonwoo in an interview that has nearly 800k views.

Fact: Wonwoo is particularly weak when it comes to attractive men.

“Not to be delusional, but I think he’s in love with you,” Soonyoung says conversationally. “Also, he looks like an overgrown puppy, so I think he’s your type.”

Wonwoo groans again, because he can’t refute that.

He’s just… in disbelief, really, that this random hot volleyball player is his fan. And has been his fan since he was 22, gangly and awkward and in e-sports. It’s been years. Most of his fans are only from the past 2 or 3 years. It’s rare for him to come across someone from when he was in T1, yet Kim Mingyu is one of them.

He’s Wonwoo’s fan. Of all people. He likes him. Jeon Wonwoo. 

“Well it’s not like you have to fuck him or anything,” Chan offers, but then Wonwoo is wondering how he’s supposed to sit down at his computer tomorrow, go live, and not think about how somewhere out there, Kim Mingyu is listening.

“But you should,” Seungkwan says. They all murmur in agreement, as if they don’t all condemn the power imbalance of fucking a fan.

There’s no way that Wonwoo has watched this guy talk once and has already developed a middle school crush on him, just because he’s hot and has a cute smile. If so, this is his weakest moment of his life.

“I need to lay down,” Wonwoo announces.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Chan sounds mildly worried, and Wonwoo doesn’t know how to tell him that he’s just having a crisis over the morality of liking one of his fans just because he’s hot. 

“He needs to think,” Soonyoung says, reading the room for once. “Wonwoo is gonna be up till 5 AM being all like, ‘oh this hot guy likes me, what do I do about it?, even though we all know what he should do about it.”

It’s embarrassing, how easily he was read.

“Sorry, hyung,” Seungkwan says, sounding not very sorry at all. “I didn’t think you’d lose your mind over this.”

“Shut up,” Wonwoo sighs. 

On the stream, it’s frozen on Kim Mingyu’s face. Handsome, cheekbones prominent, a little smirk on his lips. He’s so painfully handsome and Wonwoo hangs his head in defeat.

This is it. After over ten years of streaming, this is what it takes to defeat him, to throw him off his game. One hot guy who plays volleyball for Korea, who has a winning smile and Wonwoo’s merch in his closet. Wonwoo’s face is red and he’s a little ashamed.

“There, there, hyung,” Chan says. “Look on the bright side. He’s probably good with balls!”

They suck. They all suck. The three of them laugh like a trio of hyenas, because Wonwoo’s misery is just so funny. Wonwoo leaves VC and sends a middle finger emoji in #General, then thunks his head down onto his desk with a groan.

He’s fucked.

Chapter Text

Ever since the Kim Mingyu interview, Wonwoo’s life has become significantly more chaotic.

Wonwoo pls dm Mingyu on twt , a dono message pops up on his screen. Wonwoo, who was trying to stream in peace, ignores it and turns back towards his game.

It’s one thing to hear this shit from his friends. But it’s another thing to hear it from his fans.  

Seemingly overnight, and against his will, Wonwoo’s audience has adopted a major influx of SK National Volleyball Team and V-League fanboys, specifically Kim Mingyu fanboys. His Twitter replies and Twitch chat are flooded with pls dm Mingyu and THIS is the guy Mingyu likes??? and oh ok I get it thanks Kim Mingyu thanks for spreading the Wonwoo agenda!!!  

“Chat,” he warns. “If this keeps up, I’m banning the word ‘Mingyu’.”

They do not listen.

“Oh, that’s so annoying,” Chan agrees one night, after they’ve gotten off of Val. It’s so late, the sun is rising, but Wonwoo can only vent his frustrations to his favorite dongsaeng if he doesn’t want to be judged (Jihoon), given terrible advice (Soonyoung), or be met with an unhinged solution (Jun). “Maybe put chat in sub-only mode.”

Wonwoo sighs. “I guess. I’m just tired.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to DM him and ask him to get his fans to back off,” Chan suggests. “Maybe it’ll work.”

“I’d really rather not,” Wonwoo rubs his temple. “He’s one of my fans, after all.”

Chan laughs. “And you’re so humble, too.”

It’s true, though. It’d be one thing if Mingyu was just another celebrity colleague, but he’s in a completely different field of work and he’s a fan. He’s been Wonwoo’s fan since his T1 days, for god’s sake, meaning he’s been following him for six years at minimum. That kind of loyalty is hard to find nowadays, not when content is so quick and relieving and easy to find. Even Wonwoo’s most loyal fanpages cycle out of popularity every so often, and people lose interest.

To hold interest in him for so long, Kim Mingyu is not just a fan. He’s a super fan.

Everything Wonwoo does and everyone he interacts with is through his strict boundaries, ones he’s had established for years. One of those is not DMing fans. Both because of the power imbalance, and because it’s just plain weird. If it were another streamer who looked up to him, it’d be different, because he could say a quick thanks for your support and good luck! and move on with his day. But he would have to DM Mingyu first and say please get your fanboys off my ass. Which goes against every aspect of being a creator that Wonwoo believes in.

Ughhhhh.

“Don’t worry, hyung, they’ll leave you alone eventually,” Chan says. “They’ll get bored and move on. You know how things are.”

That’s also true. Online attention spans are short, and if he gives them nothing, they’ll get bored and let up. That’s how the cycle always goes.

So Wonwoo lets things carry on. He ignores chats that contain Kim Mingyu and replies to donos if they don’t mention volleyball or Twitter. You have to be careful when you’re a creator, because you never know what’ll incite a Twitter revolt against you or piss people off, even if it’s not outwardly problematic. He’s careful and his fans catch onto the fact that he’s being withdrawn on stream, and most react accordingly and shut up about Mingyu.

A solution will come eventually, or everyone will leave him alone first. He just has to wait.

-

A “solution” comes the next week. Wonwoo blinks at his Twitter inbox notifications. He’s been tagged in a post by a verified account, hundreds of times. 

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

@gam3rbo1 I’m sorry about your chat!! I didn’t know that would happen :( Can everyone please stop harassing him because of me!!!! Thank you!!!!! ^_^

Verified account… oh, this is Kim Mingyu.

Kim Mingyu… tweeted him. Huh.

Wonwoo looks down at his phone after a moment of contemplation, and clicks on the profile.

Mingyu’s Twitter account is active. He retweets a lot of posts from volleyball news accounts and the official V-League Twitter account and recently, Olympic news. Right. The Olympics are coming up and he’s an Olympian. Whereas, Wonwoo is a Twitch streamer who rarely leaves the house and hasn’t done as much as gone on a run in maybe years. Whew. There’s nothing like the reminder that this hot man is miles out of his league.

He tweets out a lot of photos and videos. There’s some of him playing volleyball, and posing in his uniform - which looks way too good on him, by the way, form fitting and short shorts and fucking compression sleeves that make his muscles bulge - and Wonwoo watches a video of Mingyu spiking a ball so hard that the noise on impact echoes. He realizes that his mouth is agape the third time he watches it. Not his proudest moment.

There’s some of him with other guys out drinking - with teammates, as the replies suggest - and working out at the gym with other celebrities - that’s fucking Kim Jongkook from Running Man, who even Wonwoo knows, despite never reading the news or checking up on trends outside of video games - and some photos of his dog. Who is cute, but could never compare to the best girl in the world, Seollie. Close competition though. 

There’s a recent photo from the past month. Mingyu was in Rio, playing beach volleyball. He’s shirtless and has miles of golden-brown skin, smiling behind his sunglasses, arms wrapped around a volleyball. His biceps are probably as big as Wonwoo’s thighs, if not bigger. 

The caption reads: ”Beach volleyball is hard!!! My feet hurt!!! How are you all doing??? Have you eaten today???”   and Wonwoo is utterly ashamed to admit that he finds it cute. 

He does not save the photo. He closes out of the tweet after several minutes of just looking, and continues on his search.

Kim Mingyu is clearly a celebrity. He has brand deals with volleyball brands and sports drinks - he’s in an ad for Pocari Sun, and Wonwoo is actually kinda jealous about that - and he’s in commercials on TV and photoshoots for magazines. One editorial cover, in black and white, is particularly… gripping. Mingyu is shirtless, holding a volleyball up on one shoulder, the other hand on his hip. There’s a smirk on his lips, eyes looking right at the camera. His shorts are all black and he has a chain around his neck and Wonwoo is affected.  

He has quote tweeted interview clips, where he talks with his cute little lisp and the replies are full of teammates and fans' support. He makes TikToks that are trendy with other volleyball guys. There’s articles about how he’s gonna give South Korea a name in the summer 2024 Olympics. 

MEET KIM MINGYU, OLYMPIAN AND FUTURE OF KOREAN MEN’S VOLLEYBALL, one of them is titled. WILL THE ACE BRING HOME GOLD?, says another.

The patriotic part of Wonwoo says, I hope so, and the thirsty part of him says “he can do whatever he wants!!” and Wonwoo ignores both of them.

In comparison, Wonwoo’s own account is lacking. There’s the occasional photo of Seollie or a group photo or even once every six months, a mirror selfie. But his tweets mostly consist of reacting to new games coming out and announcing streams and brand deals. He has 5 million followers on Twitter alone, whereas Mingyu has 3.4 million followers and counting. How many of them are from his volleyball career and how many of them are following him because he’s hot is questionable, but it’s not like Wonwoo can’t relate in that regard. After all, it’s Wonwoo who’s known for his pretty privilege in the Twitch community, and Seungkwan had once insisted that Wonwoo had the face to end up as a celebrity no matter what he did. 

But Mingyu is… hot. Like, especially hot. Maybe he should check out his Instagram? Or TikTok?

A text from Soonyoung drags him out of his thoughts.

From: hamster man: have u checked twitter king

From: hamster man: kim mingyu tweeted u lol. LOLLLLL

From: hamster man: he says sorry :( reply to ur puppy!!!!!

Wonwoo grimaces at the messages. Though he can admit that he completely forgot about the initial tweet due to the seriousness in which he was stalking Mingyu’s social media account. Oops.

To: hamster man: I saw

To: hamster man: also shut up

Wonwoo returns back to the original tweet and stares at it. Is he… supposed to respond? Does he have to? Wonwoo isn’t known for networking outside of his social circle, so it wouldn’t be weird to not respond. But he also might get hounded down if he doesn’t. Ugh. Fuck.

He might take Chan’s advice and put his chat in sub-only mode for the time being. Just so he can get out of this unscathed.

He sends a screenshot to Seungkwan, because Seungkwan is the best at damage control, and asks what do I do about this? The reply comes instantly.

From: kwan-ah: i mean i would respond and be like omg really >_< can i have ur number? but i have a feeling that ur not gonna do that

From: kwan-ah: but also it’s not that big of a deal just chill out hyung

Wonwoo sighs and responds okay. He closes Twitter and puts his phone down.

Wonwoo has been in this industry for a long time. He’s been in the spotlight for a long time. He knows how to keep to himself when needed, he knows when to speak out when needed. Wonwoo has gained 8 million followers by not making waves and only ever doing what’s needed. Never anything more, never anything less. So he knows.

He knows.  

Even if Mingyu’s hot, even if he’s a fan - especially if he’s a fan. It’s not worth the trouble.

It never is. 

-

Chat is being suspiciously well-behaved today.

He’s solo queuing on Overwatch, because Jihoon and Soonyoung are on the resting portion of their joint subathon, Chan is busy grinding on Runescape, and Jun is doing his cake stream (finally). It’s going well. He hasn’t even noticed any mentions of Mingyu today, for the first time in two weeks. There’s the small chance that his mods actually did ban the word “Mingyu” in chat, but even the donos are well-behaved, so it’s unlikely. Plus, his mods always ask him first.

It’s strange… maybe Mingyu’s tweet was surprisingly effective. Which would be a rare case when it comes to fans listening to celebrities, but maybe volleyball stans are just more loyal than Twitch viewers, who have the special knack for pushing boundaries and being little pieces of shit.

“Should I switch to support?” Wonwoo asks as he stretches in his chair, taking a brief break between queues. He’s known for his pocket Mercy more than anything, even though he’s been playing more of tank these days. Chat floods with yessir and please! and he smiles as he switches roles. 

Well. Maybe he should take advantage of the chill vibes.

“We can bet channel points about how much healing I do in this game,” Wonwoo offers as he gets into a game and selects Mercy. Chat picks up, excited. The mods give in, and there’s a pop up in chat that says “HOW WILL WONU DO?? BET NOW!!” and Wonwoo laughs.

“Alright, chat,” he says, as spawn opens and the round begins, “let’s go!”

Wonwoo doesn’t play solo in team games as much anymore, not when he has a full friend group at his disposal, but it’s fun. None of his friends are at his level anyway, so it’s freeing to get onto solo queue comp and grind. 

One of his teammates in the game says before they start, “are you the real gam3rbo1?”

Wonwoo gives his facecam a look. “I’m sure you can figure that out.”

The game goes well. They absolutely decimate the other team because Wonwoo pockets a Cassidy who gets a 5k, which gets him play of the game. His teammates are nice, for once, and they don’t knock him for being a streamer, which is nice because most video game players think of streamers as annoying and spoiled. Luckily, these guys seem to be fans.

“Is Woozi really only 5’5?” One of them asks, and Wonwoo laughs. 

It’s a good stream, all and all. Chat is calm. They laugh at him for eating instant ramyeon for dinner and ask how his day was. He gets Seollie on camera and everyone says awww. It’s 4 AM when Wonwoo finally ends stream, tired but content.

It’s nice to have a good day every now and then.

-

“So let’s get this straight,” Soonyoung begins, which never bodes well for Wonwoo’s wellbeing. “There’s a hot guy in your notifs, and you’re gonna ignore him because he’s a fan?”

They’re waiting for their games to update with the new Val patch. Wonwoo has been toeing around the whole Mingyu situation with his friends because they’re relentless. He figured that Soonyoung, of all people, would be bored of this by now.

Clearly he’s wrong.

“You know how Wonwoo hyung is,” Chan reasons. Thank god for him. “He won’t engage with fans, even if they’re hot and famous.”

Okay, he hid a low blow in there, but it’s true. Wonwoo frowns.

“I don’t think I’m being crazy,” he defends himself. Because he isn’t. It’s his friends who are crazy. Disregarding the power imbalance and everything, it’s not like they even like each other. Mingyu just likes his streams. “There’s nothing to it. He likes my content, and that’s all.”

“Hmm,” Jihoon says, judgemental. 

They’re all so annoying. And wrong. No scheme or plan of theirs has ever gone right since they went viral while playing Among Us, and even that was just good luck. Yet, every one of his friends seem to think that they know best and that they will be able to fix Wonwoo’s pathetic and lacking love life by hooking him up with… a fan. Of all fucking things.

“But you have a crush on him,” Jun presses. 

Wonwoo’s face goes red. “I don’t.”

The call goes silent. A rarity, which only means that they’re all brutally judging him. Okay. Fine. This is how they’re going to do things, huh? Really?

“I don’t,” Wonwoo stresses. “I don’t know anything about him. He has a nice face, but it’s not like I like him. He’s just another hot celebrity. Who likes my streams.”

“Hmm,” Jihoon says again.

“Alright, let’s run this back,” Chan offers. “Let’s forget about how hot and famous he is. First, he’s been your fan since 2018 at the latest. Second, he watches you to fall asleep. Third, he has your merch.” There’s a dramatic pause. “I’m pretty sure he’s in love with you.”

Wonwoo rubs his temples. “No, he’s not.”

“So straight men just watch gay men for six years because they like their content?” Soonyoung says, like that’s something crazy, which it isn’t. “A man who is your type exactly, and you won’t even say hi?”

“It’s not like he knows that I’m gay,” Wonwoo says, like that was the point. “And he is a fan, guys. A fan. You can’t just go around wanting to fuck fans, that’s weird.”

“Ah,” Jun says, like an epiphany has just occurred to him, “you’re delusional.”

Oh, he hates them. All of them. So fucking much.

“I can’t tell if you’re sexually repressed or actually just stupid,” Soonyoung says. “Wonwoo, he’s famous. He’s another famous person. It’s not like he’s a random fan. It’s Kim Mingyu.”

Wonwoo groans.

The thing that they’re not getting is that it’s not even like Wonwoo likes him. He doesn’t. Kim Mingyu is just another hot man, who happens to like his content. It’s not like Wonwoo has a crush or is in love, he just admires his looks, as would anyone. It would be hard for any gay man to look at Kim Mingyu and not feel things.  

They’re making this into something that it isn’t, because Wonwoo doesn’t like him.

“You’re all just bored and want me to entertain you by talking to a random hot guy,” Wonwoo grumbles. “But I’m not going to. I don’t like him. He’s just one of my fans, and that’s it. We don’t even like each other. That’s it.”

He huffs out like that’s final, and for once, his friends leave it alone.

“Fine,” Soonyoung says. “But I’m not forgetting about this.”

“Hyung, you will be happy one day,” Chan offers.

“We tried,” Jun says.

“Hmm,” Jihoon says again, with feeling. 

Wonwoo sighs and goes to Twitter to announce his stream. He doubts that they really will leave him alone, but he can always try. Surely there are better, bigger things for them all to be devoting their time to, like their jobs.

“Just leave it alone,” Wonwoo says with finality. “We won’t even be thinking about this in a week.”

-

One week later, Kim Mingyu posts a shirtless photo on Twitter, and Wonwoo stares at it for several minutes.

Weak, weak man. He’s doomed.

-

“Okay, now look at the camera, hyung,” Hansol says to him, and the lights flash. “Okay, cool. Let’s do another pose.”

Wonwoo’s dropping new merch next month. His manager insisted on a real photoshoot this time, rather than his usual shit, which consists of him taking DSLR photos of his friends in merch. This time, they’re at a photo studio with a professional set up. Hansol is the photographer, because he knows how to do this, for some reason. Even though he’s spectacularly bad at taking selfies, Seungkwan gave him a recommendation. 

If his pictures didn’t make the merch sell better, Wonwoo would hire models to pose with it instead. But his face is one of his charming points, and he’s learned how to use it to his advantage.

“Like this?” Wonwoo says with little enthusiasm, moving from his relaxed position sitting on a chair, to a relaxed position sitting on the ground. He looks unnatural doing anything else, is what they’ve learned during these photoshoots over the years.

“Cute,” Seungkwan says, who is there to be a model and for emotional support. “If you smile, you’ll get more likes.”

Wonwoo ignores him but smiles anyway, because merch sales are important. 

This is one of the more exhausting parts of his job, when he has to go out and do stuff outside of streaming. He’s been in quite a few commercials and photoshoots for ads, and they’re all always tiring. He has to get his hair and makeup done and then pose without glasses, even though he can’t see for shit without them. Currently, he’s wearing them, because they’re a part of his brand and Wonwoo is tired of staring in the general direction of the camera, pretending like it isn’t all a blurry mess.

“They’re coming out well, hyung,” Chan says earnestly, which is why he’s Wonwoo’s favorite. He is also a model slash emotional support, although he’s much better at the emotional support part than he is at the modeling.

“Can you do anything besides sitting and standing?” Hansol is brave enough to ask.

“Not really,” Wonwoo admits.

“Well, then I think we can switch over to Kwan now,” Hansol shrugs. “These came out good, don’t worry.”

Thank god for Hansol, always low-key and low maintenance. So much different from everyone else in Wonwoo’s life. 

Wonwoo modeled the sweatshirt and beanie, and Seungkwan and Chan are modeling the sweatpants and t-shirt. They’ll probably also make Wonwoo pose in the sweatpants, because his long legs are well known among his audience, but he’s done for now.

“My time to shine!” Seungkwan grins, replacing Wonwoo. Wonwoo sits down behind the camera and takes a long swig of water. While he is awkward, Seungkwan is a natural at anything that involves being in front of a camera. His personality shines even in static images.

Wonwoo will always be jealous of that. At least his awkwardness is one of his charms.

“Nice,” Hansol says. As far as Wonwoo is aware, that is the most verbally affectionate Hansol gets.

They cycle through Seungkwan’s photos, which all end up being way better than Wonwoo’s, and then do Chan’s. He’s rather awkward at first, but warms up quickly, doing insane poses like a split and a handstand. Wonwoo takes a video that he promises to post to his socials after the merch goes live.

He sends a photo to the group chat.

From: hamster man: THAT IS NOT REAL

From: hamster man: WHO LET HIM DO THAT

From: junnie: did hansol tell chan to pose like that. or is that all him

From: woranghae: the split kinda crazy ngl

From: hamster man: IM TERRIFIED

Chan goes red when he sees their reactions, whining “hyung!” as if the photos won’t later be posted to the entire internet. Wonwoo laughs and ruffles his hair and then they wrap up and he treats them to dinner.

He’s tired but re-energized at the realization that his merch drop will hype up his audience. It’s been a while since his last one, so people have been complaining on Twitter that they need new GAM3RBO1 merch. 

“Good job today, guys,” he smiles at all of them. All in a good day of work, after all.

-

To make things abundantly clear, Jeon Wonwoo is not into Kim Mingyu.

He just… appreciates his face and muscles. That’s all.

While his chat has calmed down about the Mingyu thing, no one else has. It’s still a hot topic among his friends, and somehow, Wonwoo’s social media feed is full of Mingyu now. Pictures of his food, his dog, his mirror selfies. Wonwoo can’t escape him. He’s everywhere, and the only escape he has is on stream, of all things.

He’s live, and it’s going pretty well so far. It’s been normal, for the most part. 

He’s playing hardcore in Minecraft, because sometimes League and FPSes get too repetitive. Between comp matches and group games, sometimes he needs to unwind and play some good ol’ block simulator. But always hardcore mode, just to keep it interesting. 

“Are we speedrunning?” he asks chat. The response is a mix of no and yes. He shakes his head. “Hmm.. nah. Let’s take it easy today.”

So he does.

He makes a shitty base and kills a few monsters. He wants to find a flower biome because those are his favorite, but he has to prepare for the journey. He talks to chat as he makes armor and goes mining and almost dies to creepers twice.  

Bro thinks he’s Philza, a dono says after the third time he nearly dies, this time from fall damage. He makes it out with two hearts. Wonwoo frowns at his facecam and mimes a tear going down his cheek.

He gets chat to bet points over whether or not he’ll defeat the ender dragon today, laughing when some of them say I think I bet too much. sorry Wonu. u suck, and talking to them as he plays. “I swear I’m good at this game,” Wonwoo says when he nearly dies the fifth time. “I’m in a rut today.”

He plants seeds and sits in his garden as he waits for his crops to grow. It’s been a few hours, and he’s making slow progress because he’s taking the time to bully chat and freak them out as he plays - pretending like he’s going to jump off cliffs and fight endermen. He laughs every time chat gets flooded with people freaking out at him. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going to relax now,” he announces, waiting for the wheat to grow. “I think I’ve done enough damage today."

Yes you have, and I almost had a heart attack, and YOU’RE INSANE fills the chat. He grins.

“Okay, I’ll be good,” he reaches for his phone. “I’ll even show you a few new pictures of Seollie as a gift, okay?”

woo_time_everyone: SEOLLIE BABBABYYYYGIRLLLLL

wonus_wife: MY dog

Chat seems happy enough with this. They love Seollie (but never more than Wonwoo does).

When Wonwoo opens his phone, Twitter refreshes automatically. There, the first post is new, from Mingyu, two minutes ago. With that, all intentions of showing the Seollie pictures leave his brain instantly.

Mingyu is shirtless, clearly at the gym. One arm is flexed and he uses the other to take the photo. There’s a peek of armpit hair and a happy trail and bronze skin everywhere, and Wonwoo’s mouth goes dry.

There’s not only that. His tits are out.

They could only be described as boobs. Wonwoo watches in horror as he checks the reactions to the tweet, and the top two replies are your rack is out and you forgot to put your bra on bro.  

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He can’t stop staring.

The caption is innocent. Have a good day, it says, with a sunglasses emoji. It’s not even douchey, as the picture would suggest, it’s a normal Mingyu post that’s innocent enough, but Wonwoo is basically drooling. Over some hot famous guy. Jesus christ.

What’s going on? What is wrong with him?

Is he sick? Wonwoo checks his own forehead. He feels fine. So what’s going on?

Suddenly, he gets a call from Chan. He picks it up. 

“Yeah?”

“There were people in my chat who asked me to come check on you because you’ve been frozen on your stream for five minutes,” Chan says, sounding concerned. “Are you having internet problems?”

Wonwoo blinks at his facecam. He forgot he was streaming. Chat races by, full of wtf are you looking at and king are you THERE?? Holy shit. Wonwoo forgot he was streaming because he was thirsting after Kim Mingyu. No fucking way. This is his lowest moment. 

“Uhhh…” he trails off. “No, everything is fine.”

wonwoo4pres: r u sick go lay down

happy2bhere: what r u looking at lol

love_4brain: WONWOOOOO????? HELLLOOOOO???

woodopamine: wonwoo is losing his mind what happened

“Hyung, are you okay?” Chan asks. 

Wonwoo blinks again. “I might be coming down with something.”

Yeah, it’s something, alright. He’s sick in the head and it’s clearly terminal. He’ll have to be euthanized, at this rate.

“You should go rest,” Chan says, and he can hear the frown in his voice. “Have you been drinking water?” 

“I’m okay, just a bit out of it,” Wonwoo decides to say. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll wrap up stream soon.”

Chan concedes with a “if you promise,” and then hangs up. Wonwoo sighs and looks at his facecam.

wonwooooooo_nation: ARE YOU SICK

726778178user: whats wrong

kkkkkkkk_22222: ????

terrorpine: DID WONU DIE?????

“Sorry, guys,” he says. “I don’t think I’m feeling well today.”

He looks enough like it - face red, eyes unfocused. His life has been completely uprooted by one (1) hot man, so much so that it’s affecting his job and Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do about it. 

Is he really this simple minded, where he loses focus because of one shirtless photo? Is that really all it takes to knock him off of his game?

This is getting more and more pathetic by the second.

“I guess I’ll end it here for today, sorry guys,” Wonwoo says. “I’ll be back tomorrow, less out of it. How about that?”

Chat agrees. They say okay and rest up and drink water! He manages a smile. His phone dings with a notification.

From: dino-chan: r u rlly ok?? u look like shit

From: dino-chan: u better be ending stream rn

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and replies back.

To: dino-chan: ending rn

To: dino-chan: thanks channie

“Anyways, sorry, that was Chan,” he says when chat goes full with WHAT WAS THAT!!! and what are you looking at??? They’re all nosy as fuck. “I will get some rest, I’m leaving now. Okay, bye!”

He waves bye and ends stream. He then looks over at his first monitor. Minecraft is still open, but in big letters it says: YOU DIED.

Huh. He didn’t even notice.

Wonwoo blinks in disbelief at himself, and then closes the game. There’s no hiding it now. He really is fucked.

-

“Wonwoo, are you throwing my comp game?” Jun screams nine rounds into their 8-1 Valorant game, where they are losing spectacularly. 

Wonwoo, who was focused and trying to carry the entire team against the other team of ascendant players, looks up at his facecam like the surprised Pikachu meme. His KDA is 27-8 right now. As far as he's aware, Jun and Soonyoung are the ones throwing his comp game.

“What happened to our hard carry?” Soonyoung wails like Wonwoo just killed his entire family. 

“You could be better at the game,” Wonwoo suggests. Mentally, he contemplates listing every single video game he has ever carried them in, just to be petty, but then the next round starts so he huffs and sends an annoyed glance at chat.

Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to queue competitive with people 3 ranks below him, but Wonwoo had faith that it would be okay. Not anymore, though. 

Their game is on Sunset, which is a map that’s already kind of a hit or miss for him. He’s playing Omen - because he always ends up filling up Controller when no one wants to play smokes - and is the top frag of the whole game. And yet, they’re losing. Badly. Everyone on their team has died nearly every round, despite Wonwoo’s best efforts to carry the team to victory. The one round they won was Wonwoo’s solo clutch, too. He’s struggling.  

“I swear he’s cheating,” Soonyoung whines when the Phoenix going 20-2 kills him again. Their B-site is a mess, because Jun is playing Cypher and he only looked up the line ups right before the game started. They’re so fucked. At this rate, Wonwoo can kiss ascendant 3 goodbye. 

“Two market, both hit 40,” one of the randoms on their team says in voice chat. “Sage and Neon.”

Wonwoo focuses in on the game, edging closer to his monitor as he slow-walks through mid and approaches market. He’s easily the best player in this match, but they have numbers against him. The other team starts planting and he swings into market, headshotting the Neon instantly, and killing the Sage when she peeks out at him. 

“Nice, Wonu!” Soonyoung cheers.

On site, Jun kills the Phoenix but loses to the Astra. She uses her ult and walls off site. Their second random dies, and now it’s Wonwoo in a 1v2.

“The Gekko might be flanking,” Jun warns. “I haven’t seen him yet.”

And, well. Wonwoo has dealt with more dire situations before. 

He goes heaven and swings through the wall, keeping his corners tight. Astra is nowhere to be seen, so he swings down the stairs, checking corners. She’s nowhere.

“She’s main!” One of the randoms says. Wonwoo taps the defusal on spike, and sure enough, Astra peeks out from main. 

Wonwoo, who is known for his reaction time, grins as he jumps off of spike and hits her in the shoulder, then in the head. She goes down, and he goes back onto spike without hesitation. It starts beeping faster, exploding soon. 

He holds down “4” on his keyboard and prays that their Gekko is really flanking. 

Wonwoo doesn’t hear any footsteps, and he just needs 7 seconds. The 7 seconds that always decide the fate of a round. He halves it, and then he’s certain that he’ll hold it, even if Gekko shows up. They’re down 8-1: they have to.

The spike is nearly defused when footsteps come from behind him, and then Gekko jumps down from heaven. He misses his first shot. Heh. There’s only 3 seconds left before the spike explodes, Wonwoo can tell by the beeping, so he holds it until it’s done.

The Gekko misses again. Soonyoung laughs, loud, and Jun gasps, shocked.

He finishes defusing, as the Gekko swings again and hits him. Wonwoo dies, but they won. The spike was defused. They probably won’t win the game, but if they win at least 5 rounds, at least they won’t lose more RR. 

“That’s my duo!” Soonyoung cheers into the team voice chat as Wonwoo goes down.

“Good job,” Jun says, out of breath.

Wonwoo looks over at chat, which is racing with THAT’S MY STREAMER!!! and radiant when?? and that gekko was so bad lol. He salutes all of them.

wonu_life: u know the gekko is fighting for his life in vc rn

He laughs, reading chat as the next round starts, feeling his energy and focus rise with anticipation. He just has to do that again, 11 more times. Easy peasy.

After all, they don’t call Jeon Wonwoo a hard carry for nothing.

-

It’s a Thursday afternoon, and Wonwoo is innocently scrolling through his recommended videos on Youtube, when he comes across a thumbnail that stops him in his tracks.

It’s Kim Mingyu, of course, in his volleyball uniform, holding a volleyball (of course). But what piques his curiosity is the text that says “TOP KIM MINGYU PLAYS 2023” and the title of the video itself: “Daejeon Samsung Bluefangs’s Kim Mingyu: VOLLEYBALL GOD 2023”.

Anyone who has any common sense would see Mingyu’s face and click on the video. So Wonwoo, as sensible as he is, clicks on it.

He is immediately affronted with a montage of shirtless pictures of Mingyu, followed by a video of him smiling and winking at the camera. There’s an awful video transition where it peels a page into text that says “HE’S HOT AND GOOD AT SPORTS???” which causes Wonwoo to question his life choices.  

But then it cuts to a wide shot video of Mingyu playing volleyball, and there is nothing in that moment that could’ve compelled Wonwoo to click off of the video.

Mingyu is easy to spot. He’s tall and wide, bigger than most of the other players on the court, despite the fact that even Wonwoo knows that volleyball is a sport about height, so they should all similarly be tall like Mingyu. On the other side of the net, he stands in the middle. The ball gets served to his team, and some guy in the back receives it to the setter, and the setter sets it to Mingyu.

Then, Mingyu jumps and swings. Even through the grainy quality of the camera, the way he jumps is… majestic, really. It’s like he’s flying. He swings down on the ball, hard, and blows through two blockers like it’s nothing, and just like that, Daejeon scores a point.

Mingyu lands on the ground and his team surrounds him with hugs. He is tiny on the screen of Wonwoo’s phone, but he’s beautiful. The video then cuts to another shot of Mingyu doing the same thing, landing a powerful spike that the other team is no match for, and then he does it again. And again. And again and again.

The compilation is 24 minutes long, and Wonwoo watches every second of it. He’s seen enough of Mingyu’s personal content to know that he’s known for being clumsy, but there’s no evidence of that on the court. There’s no way to describe him other than graceful and careful. He hits every set with deadly precision. Sure, Kim Mingyu is hot, but he’s something completely different on the volleyball court.

He isn’t just cute or beautiful. He’s something else entirely. Something otherworldly. 

There’s power and agility behind every jump and block and spike. Wonwoo has only ever seen sports represented in anime and manga, which do nothing to capture the reality of the players. You can see their muscles move as they jump, rippling under tanned flesh. There’s a 4k shot of Mingyu jumping to block the other team’s spike, and Wonwoo replays it twice. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen before.

When the video ends, he wonders distantly how such an improbable feat of human achievement could ever be drawn to Wonwoo’s own content, where he sits at his computer for five hours and clicks buttons. It’s a little shameful, honestly.

It makes sense why Kim Mingyu is the anticipated golden-boy of the Olympics. He’s nearly superhuman. 

The rabbit hole of Mingyu’s ace-worthy plays is deep. He’s an incredible player, one of the best that South Korea has to offer, and he blew competition away even as a rookie. In old footage, he’s less bulky, less powerful, but the agility and precision remains the same. He’s deadly with Jeonghan as his setter, one recent commenter says. The Bluefangs have the best roster in all of the V-League rn.

He only gets out of his stupor when Seollie whines for dinner and he gets a group Facetime call from Jun on his phone.

“What’s up?” Wonwoo asks when he joins, measuring out Seollie’s dog food. Jihoon hasn’t joined, as per usual, but Soonyoung fills up 1/4 of the screen with his forehead, while Chan fills up another 1/4 with him eating dinner, chewing loud and obnoxious. 

Jun grins. “I have news.”

“News?” Chan asks, intimidated, at the same time Soonyoung shouts, “ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?” No one knows why that’s the first thing Soonyoung always jumps to when there’s news, but nevertheless, it’s expected.

“Well, not news,” Jun amends, which Wonwoo finds suspicious. He’s being way too happy right now, because he’s normally serious when it comes to stuff like brand deals and sponsors. “But something cool. I got tickets to the match between Daejeon and Incheon this weekend.”

All of them go silent, slightly confused. Wonwoo is ashamed to admit that his first thought is what e-sports teams are those? before he realizes. 

“Ohhhh,” he says after a moment. “Volleyball?”

Jun nods. Soonyoung says, “Volleyball???” like that’s crazy, and Chan still looks confused. Wonwoo blinks. Why is this a big deal?

“I got all of us tickets,” Jun says, when all of them continue to be confused. “If you guys wanna go.”

Oh. Bingo.

“I would love to see Wonwoo’s boyfriend,” Soonyoung declares immediately. “I want his autograph.”

Chan grins. “Oh, me too, I wanna see him play.”

With that, all faces turn towards Wonwoo, who narrows his eyes. This whole thing… is awfully suspicious. Strange timing, and there’s definitely bad intentions behind whatever Jun is planning.

“Why?” Is what he decides to ask. As expected, everyone is upset at him for this.

“Come on, who doesn’t wanna see Kim Mingyu?” Chan groans, and Soonyoung just stares, in a very judgemental way that he could’ve only learned from Jihoon. 

“I know a guy who knows a guy,” Jun says. At their perplexed faces, he adds: “Minghao knows someone on the team. And he offered them to me.”

Oh?

“Minghao is friends with volleyball players?” Soonyoung asks, which is what they’re all thinking. Jun’s roommate, Minghao, is one of the most complex yet cool people that Wonwoo has ever met. Fashionable, funny, judgemental in the way that only pretentious gay men are. They’re not very close to him, but there are times where Minghao feels a bit like an anomaly amongst them.

Jun shrugs, chronically unhelpful as always. “Yeah, I guess. It’s the final game of the season, so he said this was kind of a big deal.”

The final game… It explains why Mingyu has been posting less on his Twitter this week, only short tweets of “Have a good day!!!” and “We got this [cool guy emoji].” Well, not that Wonwoo was keeping tabs on him.

Definitely not.

“Then we have to go,” Chan points out. “That means it’s his last game before the Olympics this summer, right? That’s super cool!”

Wonwoo has to agree with that. It does sound cool.

“The Olympics are in France, so Minghao said it’s their last game in Korea for a while. Apparently, most of Daejeon is on the national team, so it’s like watching the Olympic team.”

With weakening resolve, Wonwoo feels himself being persuaded. Especially after his escapades from earlier today. Getting to see a Mingyu spike in person could be life changing, like witnessing a real-like superhuman. 

“Soooo, we’re going then,” Soonyoung says with finality. “Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo feels helpless. His brain runs with instant flashes of scenarios and anxieties that could come from going, that could come from seeing Mingyu in the flesh.

Pros: Free tickets. Going with friends. Cool game. Seeing Mingyu.

Cons: Crowds. Loud? The bullying that will happen. Seeing Mingyu.

Fuck.

“If you don’t go, I’m going,” Chan announces. “Sorry about your crush, hyung, but I wanna see him play.”

“Me too,” Soonyoung says.

Jun nods. “Same.”

Wonwoo feels himself quickly losing control over the situation. His anxiety is high, telling him that this is a horrible idea and all that can go wrong. 

But then he thinks about Kim Mingyu in the flesh, a monster on the court, yet smiling and friendly and puppy-like. His fan. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

It’s a bad idea, it is. He knows it is, and yet he finds himself nodding along, somewhere separate from his body. “Okay,” he finds himself saying before he can stop. “I’ll go.”

Everyone cheers. Wonwoo feels himself smile. He might be making an irreparably horrible mistake, and yet he can’t stop smiling. Kim Mingyu just seems to have that effect on him. He has taken over Wonwoo’s life, and if he goes to the game, there will most likely be no going back.

So what? He’s hot, the traitor part of him says.

And, well. Wonwoo can’t argue with that.

Chapter Text

WONU @gam3rbo1

sorry, no stream today. going out w/ the boys :)

-

It’s game day, and Wonwoo regrets everything.

First of all, Gyeyang Gymnasium is loud. Everything is echoing, voices layered on top of each other. It’s giving him a bit of a headache, and it doesn’t help that his friends are equally as loud. The seats they got are pretty close to the court, so all the sound bounces off of the hardwood and jumps back at them. 

Great seats, Soonyoung had grinned.

Thank Minghao, Jun said.

Wonwoo had never wanted to kill them both more.

Second of all, he feels like an idiot. Everyone besides him is wearing Daejeon merch that they acquired from Amazon. He would’ve joined him, but he couldn’t help but be reminded that Kim Mingyu is, again, one of his fans, and it might send mixed signals if he did. It’s not that deep, Chan said, but Wonwoo hadn’t believed him. So here he is, in a black t-shirt and jeans, not partaking in the sea of Bluefangs blue and orange.

Not his favorite color combo, anyway, so surely it’s fine.

Third of all, Seungkwan is here. Which on a normal day is great, because Wonwoo adores his juniors and loves to listen to their bickering, but today it’s just non-stop running commentary on Daejeon and Incheon’s stats and history. To call it overwhelming would be putting it lightly.

“So, Daejeon were the champions every year until 2014, and then they fell into decline,” Seungkwan rattles off, “They didn’t get to the playoffs again until 2021, when Mingyu and their libero, Seokmin, joined the team, and they’ve been runner ups to Incheon every year since. Incheon has been champions for the past three years, so this game is a huge deal. Because everyone thinks that Daejeon has gotten too strong since their setter, Jeonghan, joined. Jeonghan transferred from Incheon, actually, so there’s drama.”

Wonwoo blinks like any of that means anything to him. Chan, on the other side of him, nods seriously. Even though neither of them understand anything.

“Mingyu is their ace, so he’s the biggest deal here,” Seungkwan continues. “He and Seokmin and Jeonghan are on the national team, along with their captain, Seungcheol, who plays defense. They’re the team with the most Olympians, which is why everyone thinks they’re gonna win.”

Makes sense to Wonwoo. More Olympians = better. That’s basic math.

“So Mingyu is Hinata and the long-haired guy is Kageyama?” Soonyoung cuts in, looking at pictures of the players online. Seungkwan rolls his eyes but says yes, hyung, Mingyu is Hinata.  

Ohhhh. Okay. That checks out.

Hansol and Jun are sitting there with their arms crossed, not saying much. Wonwoo knows that Jun doesn’t know shit about sports and one time he saw Hansol run on a treadmill in jeans, so he figures there isn’t much going on in their heads either.

He takes a picture of the arena and sends it to his brother, along with “at a volleyball game lol.” His brother responds with a selfie of him with the TV showing the pre-match TV coverage, making a pog face. 

HYUNG YOU LIKE SPORTS??? He asks.

No, Wonwoo sends back. Got tickets tho.

He gets a keyboard smash in return.

“I’m here,” announces Minghao, who appears out of nowhere and drops down into the seat they saved for him. “Traffic sucked, I don’t know how you guys got here so fast.”

“Wonwoo hyung made us take the train,” Seungkwan complains. “We got here like an hour early.”

“He has anxiety,” Chan defends. Wonwoo nods sagely and Seungkwan raises his hands up in surrender. You can always count on Chan to either come to the rescue or be the reason for your downfall.

The crowd around them increases in chatter, and Wonwoo watches with rapt attention as people file out on the court. Some people in management, Seungkwan points out, because the players come out later.

“Who do you know on the team, Hao?” Soonyoung asks.

Minghao smiles. “Hmm. It’s a secret.”

“Oooh,” Chan says, which they all echo. Honestly it makes sense for Minghao, because the only things Wonwoo knows about him is that he’s Chinese and Jun’s roommate. When asked about it, Jun had simply said that Minghao repels any chance of parasocial relationships with other people, which was kind of odd, but okay. It’s not like he’s a streamer, or anything, but Wonwoo respects it.

“A secret,” Soonyoung repeats, offended. “As long it’s not Kim Mingyu, because he’s in love with Wonu.”

Wonwoo sighs. “He’s a fan. That’s all.”

“Wonwoo hyung refuses to admit that he’s hot, too,” Seungkwan says conversationally, steam rolling right over Wonwoo’s copium. “We all told him to DM Mingyu-ssi, but then he started acting like a virgin about it.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes but his face goes red anyways.

“Oh,” Minghao says, like that’s news to him, which is relieving. At least this isn’t common knowledge. “He's a fan?”

“He said it in an interview,” Jun says.

“An interview…” Minghao repeats, smiling again. “Really? That’s funny.”

Wonwoo drops his head onto Chan’s shoulder, who pats his back in sympathy. “Channie, help me.”

“Hyung is embarrassed,” Chan chooses to announce, like that wasn’t already public knowledge. Wonwoo sighs again, and hopes the ground swallows him up whole.

Seungkwan and Soonyoung both laugh at his suffering, and Wonwoo flips them off.

The next half hour passes by slowly. Soonyoung purchases them all foam fingers, and they all wave them around excitedly. Eventually, more people pour onto the court and cameras get set up. The announcers enter the booth, and Wonwoo realizes that that means the game will start soon.

The anxiety creeps back in, a little bit. Kim Mingyu will be here soon. On the court. He’ll be in front of Wonwoo’s eyes, he’ll be something tangible and not just some deity of human superiority on Wonwoo’s little phone screen. 

Unhelpfully, his brain cuts to thinking about the miles of tanned long legs and unrestrained bulging biceps, and his face goes red. 

“Are you okay, hyung?” Chan asks, privy to the fact that Wonwoo nearly had an anxiety attack on the train ride here, and always manages to know when something is wrong. 

“I fear that I might pass out,” Wonwoo mutters, just loud enough for Chan to hear. 

His eyes go wide. “Actually? Or in a hypothetical sense?”

“Hypothetically, but don’t be shocked if it actually happens,” Wonwoo warns him. “Get ready to catch me if I fall.”

Chan says nothing, looking up at where Wonwoo’s height goes, and then back down at his own short legs. He smiles. “Well.”

“I thought you went to the gym,” Wonwoo says, nudging him in the arm. “Or is that just for show?”

The goading only works on Chan, in comparison to Soonyoung and Jihoon, who ultimately don’t give a single shit about what Wonwoo thinks or says. The by-product of being friends for way too long. 

“Okay, I’ll catch you!” Chan announces. Wonwoo snorts out a laugh. 

“You’ll what?” Seungkwan leans over Wonwoo. “Who are you catching?”

Nosy as ever. Wonwoo smooths a hand over Seungkwan’s fly-aways as Chan leans in to talk to him conspiringly. 

“When Wonwoo hyung faints because of Kim Mingyu,” Chan says with seriousness, “it’ll be my job to catch him.”

“Ah,” Seungkwan says sagely, then turns to look at Wonwoo. “Hyung, it’s that bad?”

Wonwoo, to his credit, does not go red this time. He shoves Seungkwan in the shoulder and says, “shut up.”

They chat idly, and then music starts playing over the stadium loudspeakers. It’s a beat with deep bass, pounding and shaking. Way too loud, honestly, you would think that they’re at a soccer match or something.

“Does this mean that they’re starting?” Soonyoung leans over Chan and yells in their ears. 

“I think so!” Seungkwan screams back at him. 

Minghao is holding a thumbs up. He’s a regular at these games, apparently, so they must be right. 

“Welcome to the V-League Final Championship for the 2023-2024 season!” Comes an announcer’s voice over the arena. “Today’s match is between the Daejeon Samsung Bluefangs and the Incheon Korean Air Jumbos!”

The audience cheers and Wonwoo watches with wide eyes as teams come out of the doorways off of the court. The Daejeon uniform is recognizable from Mingyu’s Twitter, blue and orange. The other team’s is blue and white. They’re sitting close enough to the court that Wonwoo can make out their faces, and his eyes immediately find Mingyu before he even realized he was searching for him.

Tall and broad, even down below them. Long, long legs. Killer arms. Wonwoo gulps and Seungkwan screams “THAT’S KIM MINGYU!” like he’s not the reason that they’re all here today.

“Deep breaths, hyung,” Chan says in his ear, supportive.

Wonwoo doesn’t know if he should thank him or punch him.

Both teams line up on opposite sides of the court. The announcers start with Incheon, since they’re the home team, announcing each player’s number and name and position. He’s not really paying attention, half because Incheon is Mingyu-less, half because he’s still overwhelmed by the intensity of the atmosphere. The only time he’s experienced something like this is when he sits in the crowd at the League championship finals, or the time they went to VCT in Japan.

The announcer changes over to announce Daejeon’s team.

“Number one, Choi Seungcheol. Outside hitter.” That’s the captain that Seungkwan was talking about. He’s on the shorter side, but just as wide as Mingyu is. As buff as you’d expect a volleyball player to be.

“Number two, Yoon Jeonghan. Setter.” The guy with long hair that Soonyoung saw online waves to the crowd, smiling and blowing kisses. 

They go down the list of players. Mingyu’s number is farther in the back because he joined recently, and he’s still considered to be a rookie. That’s what Seungkwan says, anyway. It’s only his third professional season. After introducing the libero, Lee Seokmin, it’s Mingyu’s turn.

“Number seventeen, Kim Mingyu. Middle blocker.”

The cheers for him are deafening. If he thought that the arena was loud, it just got so much louder. Everyone seems to be a fan of Mingyu, no matter what side you’re cheering for. Wonwoo watches as Mingyu grins and waves to the crowd.

“Hyung, stop, he’s hot,” Seungkwan says, hitting Wonwoo in the arm. “Look at him. Look. At. Him.”

Oh, Wonwoo is looking. He is definitely looking.

In person, it’s even more apparent that god plays favorites. Kim Mingyu’s presence is undeniable. His tan skin stretches for miles and he’s got the smile of a winner. All of the people around them are cheering Mingyu’s name.

It’s not just them, but it’s everyone who came to watch Mingyu play.

The announcer moves on when the crowd is done cheering, which takes, admittedly, a long moment. The rest of the team is unremarkable, not to be mean, but it’s hard to be compared to Kim Mingyu of all people. He recognizes people from Mingyu’s social media here and there, but again, the pride of the Daejeon Samsung Bluefangs lies in their number 17. 

It’s odd, to imagine a guy like Kim Mingyu - who has an arena of 5 thousand and hundreds of thousands more across the country cheering for him - watching Wonwoo’s streams. There’s no way. This whole thing must just be one big practical joke. Or just one long funny dream.

When they’re done, the team moves to the net and shakes hands with Incheon. From there, they yell “good game,” and run off to the benches. Wonwoo can finally breathe again when Mingyu is off of the court.

“This is when I die,” he turns to Chan and tells him earnestly. “I’m serious. This is it.”

It’s not just his attraction to Mingyu running rampant, but also his anxiety from being in such a crowded space. He’ll probably get recognized here and people will ask questions, and then what will he do? How will he escape?

“Hyung, you are going to live,” Chan says. “Take a deep breath. Drink water. Hey, Soonyoung hyung looks so dumb right now, look at him.”

Wonwoo takes a deep breath and looks over at Soonyoung, who sure enough, is waving his foam finger around in the air and screaming like he’ll die if he doesn’t. It’s pretty funny. Damn.

“Oh, you’re right,” Wonwoo grins. “He has no celebrity image at all.”

Chan shakes his head. “He’s a personality streamer, hyung.”

Wonwoo laughs and lands his head on Seungkwan’s shoulder, who ignores him because he’s too busy arguing with Jun about how their volleyball shorts should be shorter, really, because it’s criminal to keep those thighs away from public viewing, hyung. Just as expected.

The teams warm up. The game will start any second. Kim Mingyu, who is Jeon Wonwoo’s loyal fan, is about to be at the height of his career, right in front of their eyes.

Wonwoo will get to see Mingyu like how Mingyu sees him. Finally.

-

When the game starts, it takes about three seconds for Wonwoo to get confused. 

The starting serve from Daejeon’s setter is… strange. He brushes his long hair into a bun and jumps when he hits the ball. It looks like a normal serve, albeit a bit slow, but then it suddenly drops to the ground once it’s over the net. Incheon scrambles to receive it, and Wonwoo turns to Seungkwan and says “what the fuck was that?”

Seungkwan grins. “That’s called a jump float serve, hyung. It floats through the air and drops suddenly. That’s Jeonghan’s specialty.”

“Specialty,” Wonwoo mutters to himself. Like in video games? He didn’t know that athletes had special abilities.  

Incheon receives the ball and gets it to the setter, who sets it to the spiker in the middle of the front line. It goes through the block and then Daejeon’s libero, Seokmin, digs it up with grace. It’s given to Jeonghan in the back row (?), who sets it to Seungcheol in the front (!!). Wonwoo doesn’t remember a play like that in Haikyuu.

“So, the thing about Daejeon is that their rotation starts backwards,” Seungkwan says, sensing his confusion. “They start with their setter and ace in the back, and their defense up front.” He points to Mingyu and Jeonghan in the back row, and then Seungcheol in the front row. “It’s so their offense gets matched up with the other team’s defense. Jeonghan can set as long as he’s behind that line in the middle, and he’s pretty good at back sets.”

“Huh,” Wonwoo says, still confused.

“I feel so stupid right now,” Chan grins over at them

“I have no idea what’s happening!” Soonyoung says, sounding overjoyed for some reason.

“Daejeon is strong because their setter comes up with really complex plays,” Seungkwan tries explaining. “That’s why he’s the setter for the national team.”

Oh. That explains it.

They watch with their eyes zoned in on the ball as it goes back and forth between teams. The first time it even drops is when Incheon’s wing spiker spikes a ball that flies over Daejeon’s blockers and towards the back court line.

“Out!” Seokmin calls, but then it hits the court, and the ref deems it safe. So Incheon gains one point.

“Oof, that sucks,” Hansol says.

“It was a good call, honestly,” Seungkwan says, though he looks disgruntled. “I would’ve let that go.”

“Uh huh.”

“I can’t tell if volleyball is complex or if I’m stupid,” Jun says, leaning forward in his seat. “Wonwoo?”

He shrugs. “Same.”

“This is nothing like Haikyuu,” Soonyoung grumbles. “They make it look way harder.”

A few points are scored as they go back and forth. Daejeon has an overwhelming advantage once Jeonghan and Mingyu shift up to the front row, and their offense strengthens considerably.  Mingyu towers over the smaller guys who play defense on the other team, and Seungkwan is convinced that Jeonghan is a super human because of how accurate his sets are.

The first time that Mingyu spikes the ball, it happens so fast that Wonwoo nearly misses it.

Jeonghan receives the ball and sets it, up and up into the air, and then suddenly Mingyu has jumped. They’ve done a few feints with him already, where it looked like he was gonna spike the ball and it went to someone else, but this is somehow different. His presence fills the court immediately, and there’s energy thrumming under Wonwoo’s skin as Mingyu makes contact with the ball and hits it.

The power of it alone is something otherworldly. The ball goes right through a blocker, and down onto the court before he can even blink. The sound it makes is louder than any of the videos he watched.

It echoes when it lands. Everyone can feel the impact. Mingyu grins up at the crowd while the arena bursts into cheers, a sea of orange and blue stomping their feet on the ground and shouting. 

Kim Mingyu is unlike anyone else on that court. He is something else entirely. 

“That’s the power of the ace,” Seungkwan grins at Wonwoo when he sees his open mouth and wide eyes. “Incredible, isn’t it?”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, but it is. It really is.

Most of the first set passes by quickly. Daejeon is quick to rack up points, but Incheon stays on their tail. They eventually get to 25 before Incheon can drag them into a deuce, thankfully. 

Apparently a volleyball game is five sets long. That’s like playing 5 straight comp matches in a row. Wonwoo is ashamed that that’s the only comparison he has, but it’s true.

“That Mingyu guy is kinda scary,” Hansol announces during the break between sets. “I’m pretty sure that one of his spikes would break my arm.”

“Oh, definitely,” Seungkwan says with a strange cheer in his voice. “It’s terrifying.”

“I just can’t believe that he, like, sits down and watches Wonwoo’s streams,” Soonyoung says. “Like, he can do that, but he also watches us play Valorant.”

Chan makes a face. “It doesn’t make sense.”

Jun pats Wonwoo on the back. “It’s crazy. Good job, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. Everyone laughs at him, even though nothing is actually funny. They’re just assholes.

“Is this your first time watching him play, Wonwoo?” Minghao asks, curious. “He’s pretty popular.”

Wonwoo nods. “I first heard about him when he mentioned me in an interview.”

Thinking about that interview now, of all times, is a bit strange. In the interview, Mingyu was so approachable and relaxed and giggly. On the court below them, he smiles, but he remains serious and focused. Like two sides of the same coin. A monster on the court, a person off of it.

Minghao grins. “It’s fun, right?”

Wonwoo manages a smile. “Yeah. It is.”

The second set starts with a whistle and little fanfare. This time, Mingyu and Jeonghan are starting in the front, and Seungcheol is in the back. It’s all a part of the strategy, Seungkwan says. They’ve played a whole set already, but the players still look so calm and relaxed. Like they have all the time in the world.

Huh. It kind of reminds him of e-sports. He never thought that they’d be so similar, besides both being competitive in nature.

Incheon wins the second set, despite Daejeon’s best efforts. During the third set, they go into a deuce, and Incheon wins that too. It’s nail biting the whole time. Volleyball is a quick game, much quicker than soccer, or the hour-long League matches that Wonwoo is used to. To his own surprise, he watches with rapt attention the entire time, eyes not straying from the court even once.

“So Daejeon has to win the fourth and fifth set?” Chan asks, incredulous. 

Seungkwan nods. “Yeah, it might seem hard, but Daejeon is known for their stamina. They play their best at the end of the game.”

Wonwoo blinks. At the end of the game? Not the beginning?

“Weird,” Jun mutters as the whistle for the fourth set begins. 

It’s weird, but Seungkwan seems to be right. Daejeon plays with energy that Wonwoo could never possibly muster, not after 3 matches of volleyball. Mingyu is a stamina monster, landing each spike with just as much accuracy and force as he did in the beginning. He doesn’t let up, he’s relentless. No matter who you’re rooting for, it’s impossible to look away from him.

You can feel his presence, even from all the way in the stands. It’s like being close to a bonfire - you can step away and still feel the oppressive heat of it.

And it’s not just Mingyu who’s impressive, the whole team is. Jeonghan gets subbed out with another setter to give him breaks, but he still plays just as hard. Seungcheol is out during the third set, and comes back strong during the fourth. Seokmin plays the entire time, scooping balls up and diving for receives. Wonwoo can count on one hand the amount of times Seokmin misses a ball through the entire match. He thinks about all of those articles written about Mingyu, written about them as a team, and he understands why all of Korea is counting on these guys to bring home gold this summer.

“Argh!” Seungkwan is clinging onto Wonwoo as Daejeon brings the score to 15-8, in their favor. “They have to win!”

The fourth set flies by. Daejeon decimates Incheon, and Mingyu gets called out near the end of the set for a break. The score between Incheon and Daejeon is now 2-2. They’ve gotten to the fifth set, and it could be anyone's win.

“I am so stressed,” Soonyoung announces to the group. “If they don’t win, I’m going to freak the fuck out.”

Minghao pats him on the back and gives him a bite of his pretzel as a condolence. 

“Wonwoo’s boy will pull through,” Jun says with confidence, and Wonwoo is too tired to even comment on the ‘Wonwoo’s boy’ part. “They’re gonna win.”

Secretly, Wonwoo hopes so too.

During the fifth set, the tension in the arena is palpable. Both sides of the stadium hold their breath as the ball is pulled into rally after rally, seemingly never hitting the ground. Both teams are playing well. Jeonghan keeps up that weird serve, and Mingyu has a jump serve that’s so powerful, you’d think he’s aiming to kill. Seungkwan says that Daejeon’s defense is so strong because their ace has the most powerful arm in the entire league (which is probably why his bicep is the size of the average human’s head). Wonwoo is ill informed on the matter, yet still feels inclined to agree.

Jeonghan lands two points with his serve. The other team returns with an attack from one of their wing spikers. A Daejeon spiker feints, and Jeonghan gets in a setter dump. Mingyu delivers a killer spike, Incheon returns with three back-to-back points. 

It’s nail-biting. It’s stressful. Wonwoo has never been at the edge of his seat so much since Loud came back from a 13-3 during the 2022 VCT.

“It’s still 8-8?” Soonyoung asks, incredulous, when he comes back to his seat after leaving to go get popcorn. The group all got mad at him for having the audacity to leave the game during the 5th set, but a Soonyoung who doesn’t get what he wants will cause all the chaos necessary, so they relented. He passes it down the line and they all take a handful.

“This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen,” Jun comments when the rally finally ends and Incheon scores a point. “Can you believe that we play video games for a living?”

“I don’t even want to reflect on that right now,” Chan complains. “We’re all so lame.”

Wonwoo watches with all of the attention possible as the game continues. Seungkwan is clutching onto one shoulder, shaking it as points are scored, and one of Wonwoo’s hands is being held captive by Chan, who squeezes it as he stresses out.

There’s one spike from Mingyu that’s so powerful, it blows past three blockers. When he scores, the whole stadium stands up together in shock. It’s like nothing else in the world.

The fifth set continues all the way into a deuce. Neither team is backing down, though true to Seungkwan’s word, Daejeon’s energy doesn’t waver for even a second. Wonwoo has played enough competitive games in his life to feel what Daejeon is feeling - desperation to win. Maybe he hasn’t felt it so much since he was in T1, back when everything had so much weight to it (a championship title, sponsorships, carrying on their own fleeting legacies with each passing year; wondering if what they were doing would ever even matter), but you can just feel it.

He remembers one of his League coaches saying, once, that the team that’s more desperate to win will win. That victory belongs to whoever wants it the most. Wonwoo hadn’t really believed in that, not back then - not when he was so young and so lost in the newness of the e-sports world - but maybe now he does.

Daejeon carries the weight he’s so familiar with, and they are just as desperate as anyone would be, and it occurs to Wonwoo that there’s no way that they don’t win. Not after everything.

As Daejeon fights hard, Incheon fights even harder. Neither team relents in the slightest. You could be unfamiliar with volleyball and still realize that a deuce is brutal. It’s brutal on morale and it’s brutal on the athletes’s bodies. You can see their uniforms stained with sweat and their chests heaving, even from all the way in the audience.

It’s brutal to watch, no doubt brutal to experience. But they just keep going.

They edge each other out point by point, taking turns. Their scores are in the 30s, and Seungkwan is actively turning white, like he’s losing blood in his face. Wonwoo can only imagine the stress he feels as an actual Bluefangs fan. Match point comes up over and over again, yet the other team keeps chasing.

It’s 33-32, in favor of Daejeon. The whole group is losing their minds.

“Please, Daejeon, win!” Seungkwan is nearly sobbing, half on Wonwoo’s lap, only getting closer with each passing point.

“Do you want Hansol instead, or…?” Wonwoo had asked him around 15 points ago, but Seungkwan hadn’t heard him. Just kept holding on and shaking Wonwoo until his glasses fell askew.

It’s Seungcheol’s serve, which is powerful (standard for V-League players, he assumes) but nothing that’s ever difficult for the other team to deal with. Incheon receives it and sends it up to their ace, who spikes it. Seokmin dives for it and sends it to Jeonghan. Jeonghan sends it to Mingyu, who spikes the ball. 

The last point usually goes to the ace, Seungkwan said during the last set. It's a tradition in volleyball, especially if it’s a tight game. There’s loyalty to the ace, and you root for them to win the game.

Incheon’s libero receives it, unfortunately, which is impressive in itself - most of Mingyu’s spikes go uncontested. Seungkwan says that it’s because it’s powerful, but it’s also hard to receive a left-handed spike. And apparently Kim Mingyu is left-handed. 

Their setter sets it to their middle blocker, who spikes it. Seokmin receives it. It goes to Jeonghan.

The last point usually goes to the ace. Wonwoo’s eyes go to Mingyu before he even realizes.

Wonwoo is familiar enough with the form of a spiker - after all, he did watch Haikyuu. He remembers the slo-mo shots of Hinata, jumping up with his arms thrown back. Mingyu does the same, jumping like he’s flying. He’s seen it in a few Mingyu compilation videos, in high resolution slow motion. His left arm flings backwards, ready for the spike. Wonwoo can imagine the power concentrated in this hand of his alone, the power that no other volleyball player in South Korea can match.

He gets the ball. He swings.

The whole stadium watches with bated breath as the spike blasts through the hands of the Incheon blockers, ricocheting off of their fingers. It barrels towards the ground and their libero and receivers dive for it, Kim Mingyu’s spike always making sure they have to chase after it.

In real time, it really takes only a second. Maybe even less than that. That’s how fast the game is, that’s how fast the game is decided.

The ball slams down on the court, millimeters from the libero’s hand. You could hear a pin drop in the arena, as the echo of Mingyu’s spike resounds and everyone processes what just happened.

A whistle blows. The ref does his signal.

Holy fuck. They won the game.

“Ahhhh?” Chan screams, voice tilting upwards at the end like a question. “Shit, that was it?”

“THEY WON!” Seungkwan sob-screams, lunging over them to jump onto Hansol. He misses, landing across their laps. Not that he seems to care much about that, not now. “The Incheon streak is over! Bluefangs prevail!”

The arena is chaotic. People are screaming and waving banners as the players on court breathe, chests heaving. Incheon is half on the ground, exhausted, while Daejeon has gathered themselves into a group cheer. They pick Mingyu up by his legs and arms and carry him in the air. 

Soonyoung is shaking Wonwoo by the shoulders. “Your boy did it! He won them the game!”

Wonwoo bats him away, but smiles all the same. “He’s not my boy.”

Wins are always exhilarating, and this is no different, especially at this high of a caliber. The arena thrums with energy as Incheon and Daejeon shake hands and thank each other for a good game. When Seungcheol and Mingyu hold up Daejeon’s trophy, the roars from the audience are no less than deafening. 

“That’s the Daejeon Samsung Bluefans, your 2023-2024 V-League champions!” The announcer says. “Thank you, boys, for the great game!”

It would be a lie to say that Wonwoo isn’t in awe, of the sport and of Kim Mingyu. He wasn’t wrong with his earlier assessment: Mingyu is something otherworldly. He’s something else entirely, and his existence feels like an anomaly in itself. 

Seungkwan is half-hysterical, and Hansol calms him down with an Iced Americano and popcorn. Their group gets up, backs aching from watching the whole match so tensely. Chan grins over at Wonwoo.

“That was fun, huh?”

Wonwoo hums, flattening down Chan’s hair when it got all static-y from rubbing against Wonwoo. “Yeah, it was.”

“I know that e-sports are serious and all, but it’s hard to not think that what we do is pathetic in comparison to them,” Soonyoung says, sighing. “Do you think T1 was more exhilarating than that?”

Jun says “no” at the same time Wonwoo says “of course.”

Chan laughs. “You can’t tell Wonwoo that his time in T1 wasn’t exhilarating.”

“Hey, e-sports are just as cool,” Wonwoo defends himself. “You wouldn’t tell Faker that he’s not cool, would you?”

That makes Soonyoung think. “I guess that’s true. Kim Mingyu may be hot, but no one is cooler than Faker.”

From there, it’s all a daze. They get up to leave the stadium, and a group of fans recognize Wonwoo and ask for a picture. He agrees. They’re nice, dressed in Bluefangs blue and orange, and Wonwoo stands out from them awkwardly in the photos. He must look terrible compared to his normal composure. 

“I love your Val streams!” One of them says, and he wonders how they can possibly watch Kim Mingyu play 5 sets of volleyball and even still remember what Jeon Wonwoo looks like after all of that.

Wonwoo nods and smiles, thankful. “I appreciate it.”

It’s simple enough, though extremely crowded, to follow along with the masses to leave the stadium. The group of them stick together only by the result of a miracle. It’s hard to breathe in the crowd, but Soonyoung and Jun both make sure to stick closely to Wonwoo’s side.

“So, did you like it?” Minghao asks him as they slip out into the light of day, into the cold air of spring. There’s something sly in his voice, which lets Wonwoo know that there’s something he’s missing. 

Not that that’s a surprise. Not when it’s coming from Minghao, of all people.

Wonwoo looks at him, still a bit hazy, and grins. “It was alright.”

-

Jae @jae_NATION

WOW BLUEFANGS WON!!!! Also I met @gam3rbo1 there <3

[img attached: picture of a fan dressed in Bluefangs blue and orange smiling widely next to Wonwoo, who looks a bit off kilter. His face is red and his glasses are askew, but he’s smiling and holding up a peace sign.]

> liked by KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

-

To Wonwoo’s horror, the knowledge that he went to a Bluefangs game has seemingly spread on Twitter and across his fanbase like a wild fire. 

“No, chat, I have not met Kim Mingyu,” he sighs as he starts streaming the next day. League of Legends has taken a backseat to the disaster in his chat right now. “Jun had tickets, so we went.”

Mhmm, sure and if you say so king! flood the chat. A dono says so you WEREN’T there in support of Kim Mingyu?? and Wonwoo is ashamed to say that his facecam captures the way his face turns red in perfect 4k resolution.

So much for the Kim Mingyu drought that his fanbase has been in for the past few weeks. They are back in full force, once again invading the peace of his streams and his life.

His friends are no help either.

“As far as I’m concerned, you did this to yourself,” Seungkwan says to him as they get lunch at a cafe that the younger man has been begging for him to go to for months. “You could’ve tweeted him, or followed him, or even been like “thanks for the shoutout Mingyu-ssi!” and it would’ve been, like, so much less suspicious than what you’re doing now.”

Wonwoo does not pout. He takes a sip of his coffee and pokes at his sandwich. “I’m not being suspicious.”

“No, but usually celebrities don’t hide in a corner when another celebrity shouts them out,” Seungkwan grins. “And then get defensive whenever said celebrity is mentioned.”

And, well, okay, maybe he has a point there. But it’s not like Wonwoo has ever been known for showing his affection. 

“Are we talking about hyung’s issues again?” Chan asks as he sits down with his food. Seungkwan nods. “About Mingyu? Or about life in general?”

Wonwoo frowns. “My issues about life?”

“Well, those issues are about how you talk to no one besides us and the fact that you’re a workaholic,” Seungkwan offers. “But let’s focus on Mingyu, shall we?”

Wonwoo sighs and downs half of his coffee. Talking to them is like talking to a brick wall.

This whole thing is helpless. It’s not like he’s stupid. Wonwoo is aware enough of his own emotions: he’s scared of Mingyu because he’s hot. And because Mingyu seemingly likes him. And that’s terrifying.

Kim Mingyu is a celebrity, but he’s also a fan. A fan who has followed him for years. He knows Wonwoo in the way that anyone on Twitch does, liking him because of his face and because he’s a cute nerd and because he’s awkward in a flattering way, and that’s it. Not because Wonwoo is cool, or generally likable, or because he has anything to offer besides his face.

He’s been a streamer for a long time. He knows what people want. And he doesn’t want to give Mingyu himself, his real self, if his streamer persona is all that’s wanted.

Wonwoo can’t say this to anyone and admit his own tender feelings, because then he’d have to admit that there’s a part of him who wants to talk to Mingyu because he wants Mingyu to like him - and that would be exploiting his own weaknesses despite knowing that the outcome will only result in hurt. 

Besides, it’s not like he knows Mingyu in any real way either. He likes him because of his hot body and handsome face. He isn’t any better.

(And he saw Mingyu on the court during the game: he is something completely unobtainable. Hardly even human. He’s ethereal like a god, and Wonwoo is a mere mortal. There is no scenario in which Jeon Wonwoo, professional Twitch streamer, of all things, is deserving of Kim Mingyu, Olympian and certified Hot Person’s, attention. Not at all.)

“What’s the big deal, really, hyung?” Chan asks gently. “I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to say hi to him. You want to, right?”

Wonwoo feels ashamed, because he does. He sighs.

“I just can’t.”

He ignores Seungkwan and Chan sharing a look right in front of him. He feels oddly pathetic this way, anxious and guilt-ridden in front of his dongsaengs. They’re too loving towards him, when he’s the older one. He should be strong. He shouldn’t still be so weak, not after all this time.

“He probably likes you just as much, you know,” Seungkwan offers. “It would work out, if you’d let it happen.”

Wonwoo knows. He knows.  

It would work out. It would work out and it would be beautiful and it would perhaps be everything that Wonwoo has ever wanted in his entire life. But that’s just the problem, isn’t it? It would work out, but never in the way he wants it to.

Kim Mingyu is like the sun. Bright and fierce and all encompassing.

Jeon Wonwoo is… nothing. He’s not the moon, or the stars, or the clouds. He’s just himself, small and insignificant and meek. That’s all he’s ever been, that’s all he ever will be.

If you’d let it happen, Seungkwan had said. Wonwoo knows but he can’t let it happen, not when he has so much of himself to lose.

Kim Mingyu may be another celebrity, he may be another handsome face, but he is too much. Too powerful. He would make Wonwoo give too much of himself away. He could have Wonwoo in the palm of his hand with just one look. 

He’s too strong, and Wonwoo is too weak. And that’s the most terrifying part of this whole ordeal.

-

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

Thanks everyone for coming to the game! Go Bluefangs!! See u all this summer in Paris >:) <3

-

Wonwoo should’ve been suspicious about this party that they’re going to the second that Soonyoung raided his closet and picked out Wonwoo’s outfit. 

It’s a nondescript Saturday night. Jun had invited them all to a party for networking and getting to know other influencers. Wonwoo only agreed to come along because Jihoon did, and if Jihoon is going, it’s at least worth checking out.

Or so he thought.

“You want me to wear a crop top,” Wonwoo says in a flat voice as Soonyoung flings clothes his way. “To a networking party.”

“Don’t make it sound like we’re going to a conference, other famous people will be there,” Soonyoung defends. “You can’t show up in a t-shirt and jeans, not again. It’s okay to look hot sometimes.”

Sometimes. Wonwoo narrows his eyes.

“Hyung, we’re gonna be late!” Seungkwan wails through Wonwoo’s bedroom door. The lot of them had all rang his doorbell and swarmed in when he answered, like one big gay influencer infestation. “And not in the fashionable way!”

Wonwoo sighs and rubs his forehead. He knows when he’s trapped in a corner. He throws the studded belt back to Soonyoung and frowns. “I’ll wear this, but not that. Not ever in my life.”

Soonyoung pouts but looks happy nonetheless. “You can’t fault me for trying.”

Wonwoo doesn’t even know where he procured this crop top or skinny jeans, but he can admit that it does look good on him. The shirt covers everything but a band of skin at his waist, and that’s much more modest in comparison to Soonyoung’s other ideas. 

Besides, it’s not like Wonwoo can dress himself for anything besides stream. He is well known for his tracksuits and hoodies.

After rounding everyone up (Chan was raiding his soju stash and Jihoon was not-so-politely judging his PC setup), they take an Uber XL to the venue, a nice enough bar near Gangnam. It’s not upscale like he expected, but it’s clearly been rented out for the night for privacy.

Wonwoo never gets used to this, all the famous people shit. It’s impossible to adapt to, not when he’s usually spending his time playing PC games, only to later go to networking events, of all things. He wasn’t built for this side of fame, not at all.

Soonyoung leads them in because he’s their unofficial leader when it comes to all things social. Jun and Jihoon and Seungkwan follow behind him, while Wonwoo and Chan take up the rear. As always. Soonyoung tells the bouncer their names and shows his ID, and then they’re being waved in.

Ugh. It’s always weird to experience, no matter how many years pass.

The bar is suspiciously quiet. Soonyoung leads them upstairs to a karaoke room. Not typical at all. Wonwoo feels his suspicions rise and then peak when they open the door and he takes in the faces of the other party guests. 

They… they are sharing a karaoke room with the South Korean Men’s Volleyball National team. 

He stands, frozen in shock, as his eyes land directly on Kim Mingyu’s handsome face, tanned and in the flesh. Mingyu’s face shows a similar expression, full of shock, and that’s when Wonwoo realizes that he’s been led straight into an ambush.

Jeon Wonwoo has never wanted to die more than he does right now.

That. Is. Kim Mingyu.

There’s hardly time to be incredulous. He turns to Soonyoung, without fanfare, and whispers “what the fuck are you up to?”

Soonyoung grins. “Surprise?”

Chan, the mediator, puts both hands on Wonwoo’s shoulder and squeezes. Normally, this makes everyone laugh because of their height difference, but right now Wonwoo is calculating the most plausible excuse he could make before running the fuck out of there.

Chan’s hands tighten their grip on him. He fucking knows.

They all fucking know.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Choi Seungcheol, the fucking captain of the Daejeon Samsung Bluefangs says. “We’ve heard a lot about you all.”

A lot… about… oh, god, this is when he dies.

Their streamer group is crowding the entrance to the karaoke room that the Daejeon Samsung Bluefangs is occupying. Kim Mingyu has gone from looking shocked, to smiling. Directly at Wonwoo. 

Not Soonyoung, or Jihoon, or Jun, but at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo’s brain reaches maximum capacity for bullshit, and explodes. He is going to skin Kwon Soonyoung alive.  

Chapter Text

It’d be a lie to say that Wonwoo’s image of Kim Mingyu doesn’t shatter a little after meeting him, but that tends to be the trend with parasocial celebrity relationships. For one, he gives less Greek god hand crafted by Zeus himself, and more overgrown puppy eager to please. And that would be putting it lightly.

Mingyu bows, a whole 90 degrees, and says “It’s an honor to meet you, Gamer Boi-ssi.”

Wonwoo's jaw goes slack. He hasn’t even really walked in through the door yet - he’s still just standing there, in his stupid crop top. Chan’s grip on him goes weak and he hears faint snickers from him and Soonyoung. Even Mingyu’s own teammates look mortified. 

This is the most surreal moment of his entire pathetic life. 

Kim Mingyu is bowing at him and addressing him formally. BY HIS GAMERTAG. Surely Mingyu knows his name.

Right?

“Uhh,” Wonwoo says, wishing he was six feet under the ground right about now. “Just Wonwoo is fine.”

“Wonwoo-ssi, then,” Mingyu insists, standing up. He's tall. Way too tall. Taller than Wonwoo, which means he can probably reach up and touch the clouds, that’s how tall he is. It’s a bit… well, it would be intimidating, but the look on Mingyu’s face is more apt for a puppy who has never seen the horrors of the world. 

Smiling so wide. At him.  

Wonwoo pointedly ignores that Mingyu’s bicep bulges out of his short-sleeved shirt and distantly feels himself praying for anyone - anything - to take him away and spare him from this whole… thing. 

“I would prefer just Wonwoo, actually.”

“Call us hyung!” Soonyoung cuts in, because no one has even breathed in his direction in the past several minutes, and he’s greedy for attention. “We’re all 96ers, besides Chan and Seungkwan.”

“Oh, okay,” Mingyu nods and sits down. He looks so attentive. Wonwoo can actively feel himself developing cute aggression. “I'm 97.”

“We know,” Chan says, for some reason. Great. What a way to impress the Olympic athletes, guys. “We stalked your profile.”

Bizarrely, Mingyu looks honored.

Wonwoo takes this time to chance a look around the room. Jihoon looks horrified at this interaction, while Jun is trying to suppress a laugh. Chan looks way too earnest for being sober, still - unless he had more of Wonwoo’s soju than he thought, then that would explain it - and Soonyoung’s smiling in the way that makes his eyes go squinty, where he gets the hamster nickname from. Minghao, who was here, apparently, but has said nothing so far, looks far too satisfied with what’s going on.

Seungkwan is staring at Mingyu, gobsmacked, to the point where even Wonwoo considers reminding him that he has a boyfriend. 

“It's nice to meet you all, again,” Seungcheol, quickly cuts in. Hopefully to save the room’s mood. “We’ve heard about you a lot, Wonwoo, from Mingyu.”

“Ah,” Wonwoo hears himself say, because every reaction he feels at this point is not by his own volition.

“Not that much!” Seokmin adds in a hurry. “Mingyu is normal, hyung, I promise.”

Oh…kay?

Wonwoo blinks, and with that, the mood of the party has changed from is this a confrontation between me and Kim Mingyu with several spectators? to I think everyone here is insane, actually.

Jun and Chan erupt into enormous laughing fits, and even Soonyoung looks shocked at the result of this get together. “This is what you get for going behind my back,” Wonwoo wants to rub it in his face. “Congrats, we’ve managed to find people even weirder than we are.”

“How about you guys come sit down?” Jeonghan offers with a smile, an offer which Wonwoo is eager to indulge in. He would love to do anything to change the atmosphere of this… meeting? Get together? Interrogation? It’s one of those. They all sit down in the large U-shaped booth, and Wonwoo pretends not to be alarmed when Soonyoung shoves him over towards Mingyu.

Gingerly, he takes the seat next to Mingyu and tries not to stare at his thighs.

“Order some drinks,” Seungcheol offers, passing the menu over to them. Chan takes it with enthusiasm, no doubt eager to get fucked up, and Jihoon’s eyes meet Wonwoo’s which communicates one thing clearly: this is the worst thing that has ever happened to them.

Which says a lot, because they got banned from several bars in Hongdae on the night of Soonyoung’s 20th birthday. 

“Soju?” Chan offers him. Wonwoo shakes his head. As much as he wants to remember none of this, he cannot get drunk in front of Kim Mingyu. Chan relents and gets him a water.

Introductions are made stiltedly, which is awkward mostly because they all already know who each other are.

“I’m Jeon Wonwoo,” he says, looking at nobody in particular.

Jeonghan smiles. “We know.”

“We put on your streams when we’re at the gym,” Seokmin says casually, while Wonwoo grapples with the fact that all four of these Olympic athletes have spent hours upon hours watching him play video games. “It’s Mingyu’s idea, mostly, but we’re all into it.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo says. If you listen closely, you can hear the helplessness in his voice. “Cool.”

Mingyu's face has gone red (oh, so he does feel shame. Good.) and Minghao is looking at him with a smile. Everyone stares at each other, meanwhile Wonwoo wonders if it would be socially acceptable to leave the room and quit his Twitch career and move to the countryside. 

Maybe. He should really do it.

“That’s enough about Wonwoo, he’s about to start crying,” Soonyoung suggests, which is in the top three most helpful things he has ever done in his entire life. “We saw the finals game, and it was so cool that I almost exploded. How the fuck do you do all of that?”

“Oh, yeah?” Seungcheol grins. “I think we were pretty cool too.”

Thank god. At once, all attention is taken off of him and Wonwoo melts into the cushion of his seat as Soonyoung and Seungcheol talk about training regimens. Wonwoo casts his eyes down to the floor and sighs.

“You okay?” Chan whispers to him.

Wonwoo glares. “I will never forgive you.”

Chan's eyes say I’m sorry, but he’s grinning in that shitty little way that only terrible people (Wonwoo’s friends) can do. Seungkwan, on Chan’s other side, sticks his fist out as if to say fighting. Wonwoo only forgives him because he’s the only other person here who actively fanboys over the fact that Kim Mingyu exists.

Drinks are passed out, and Wonwoo very politely sips on his water. He’ll just have to deal with being the only sober person here.

“Uh, sorry for earlier,” comes a deep voice over Wonwoo’s left shoulder. He turns, and suddenly he is face-to-face with Kim Mingyu, in all his handsome glory. “I didn’t mean to be so lame. I’m just a really big fan.”

Wonwoo goes red immediately. “Um, no, it’s fine.” Then, he adds, “you’re not lame.”

Mingyu laughs a little, ears pink and eyes darting around. “It’s okay if I am. Jeonghan says it’s bad for my hot guy image.”

At least he’s self aware… right? Wonwoo is already infatuated with the way that Mingyu’s canines point out when he laughs, so there’s no time to dwell on the past.

“Well, it’s okay to be a little lame,” he smiles. “Despite what you think, I am just a Twitch streamer, so I know what it’s like to be lame.”

Mingyu smiles back. Wonwoo desperately wants to pinch his cheeks. 

“Well, thanks for letting me be a little embarrassing,” he says. “I’ve been a fan since 2016, when you joined T1, so I kind of feel like I’m meeting my childhood hero.”

Wonwoo blinks. Huh? 

2016?! He’s been a fan since 2016??

“That long?” He can’t help the shock that creeps into his voice. “I didn’t think I had any fans when I joined T1. You might be the only one, honestly.”

Mingyu is smiling at him so intently that Wonwoo’s face goes red. “There’s no way. When you were in T1, I thought you were cooler than Faker.”

Wonwoo nearly chokes on his drink. COOL? HIM? What drugs do they put into Olympians? 

“You’re lying!”

“I’m not,” Mingyu laughs, a little sheepish. “Everyone talked about how handsome you were on Twitter, but I was just talking about how you were the coolest mid-laner in League.”

Wonwoo remembers that, the Twitter discussions when he was in T1. Everyone thought he was way too handsome to be in e-sports, a topic which the T1 social media people used to their advantage. Wonwoo’s face was on all the graphics, only replaced by Faker once he was a worldwide success story. Wonwoo’s face must be beet red. He had no idea that Kim Mingyu, of all the people on this earth, would be a believer that Jeon Wonwoo is cooler than Faker.

“So, you’re an OG,” Seungkwan interrupts, hovering over Wonwoo’s shoulder to lean in. As composed as ever, he seems to have bypassed all fanboy emotions after talking to Jeonghan about his sets, and is now looking judgmentally at Mingyu.

It’s a look that Wonwoo has seen several times, but only given towards the group's various ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. 

Oh, Wonwoo realizes with abject horror. He’s screening Kim Mingyu. As Wonwoo’s love interest.

“Yeah, I guess,” Mingyu’s voice is shy now, and there’s a hand on the back of his neck. 

Seungkwan’s eyes narrow. “What Valorant act did he first peak ascendant?” 

“What is wrong with you?” Wonwoo asks at the same time Mingyu says, “episode 3, act 1.” Then they look at each other in shock. There’s no way that this is happening.

“You know that?” Wonwoo says weakly.

Mingyu shrugs. “It’s common knowledge.”

“Ooh, common knowledge he says,” Seungkwan sounds overjoyed. Wonwoo wants to punch him, but he also wants to cry. “Channie? Are you hearing this?”

“Loud and clear, Kwannie,” Chan reports. Wonwoo turns around to look at him. Chan is sipping on soju and looking in their direction, way too interested. 

“You’re drunk already?” Wonwoo asks, exasperated.

“Tipsy, ” Chan and Seungkwan both correct him at the same time. They glare at each other. For some reason, the two of them always end up in sync when they’re drunk, and neither of them are ever happy about it.

“Are you drinking, hyung?” Mingyu asks. It takes Wonwoo several seconds to realize that Mingyu is looking at him, expectantly. He’s talking to Wonwoo.  

Hyung, he called him. It does weird things to his stomach.

“Just water,” Wonwoo says, looking at the ground because Mingyu’s handsome face is still a bit overwhelming. “I don’t, uh, feel like drinking tonight.”

“He’s embarrassed,” Seungkwan, who is still hovering here, for some reason, offers. 

Wonwoo glares at him. “You. Quit that.”

“Scary,” Chan says pointedly over Wonwoo’s other shoulder. “Where’d my sweet Wonwoo hyung go? I thought we were your favorites? Have we been replaced by-”

Wonwoo does the general public a service by putting one hand over Chan’s mouth, and taking his drink with the other. He levels a glare, which has only ever been pointed at Chan a few number of times. Ever.

Wonwoo plays favorites when it comes to Chan, yes. In fact, it might be one of his personality traits. But he will not fuck around in front of Kim Mingyu, one of the only men in this cruel world who is capable of making his heart race.

“One more word, and you never see Seollie again.”

Chan’s eyes go comically wide. He salutes, wordlessly. His lips will be sealed. 

“Is everything okay?” Mingyu asks as Wonwoo lets go of Chan. He looks concerned, which is sweet. Unknowing that Wonwoo’s dongsaeng are hell incarnates when drunk.

“These two -” He watches as Chan whispers in Seungkwan’s ear, and the two of them go back to minding their own business. Good. “- are just pains in my ass. Don’t mind them.”

He turns back to look at Mingyu. Mingyu smiles. Instantly, all of Wonwoo’s anger fades and his brain returns to its previous incoherent stream of handsome man with a pretty face is talking to me and life has never been better.

Peace has returned. At last.

They talk about things. A number of things, though Wonwoo isn’t completely sure about specifics because he’s completely focused on the way Mingyu smiles at him and laughs at his lame jokes. Mingyu tells him that he likes it when he plays League the best and is shocked when Wonwoo compliments his volleyball abilities. As if he isn’t on the Olympic team. While Mingyu is outgoing, he is clearly shy around him, so much different from what Wonwoo was expecting and exceeding all of his hopes and dreams.

Gone, is the hot man plaguing Wonwoo’s mind who shows off his abs and does Instagram lives of him working out. In, is the image before him, a 6 foot 2 tall man who tucks his hair behind his ears and smiles with his cheeks.

That doesn’t mean that he’s not going to kill Soonyoung and Jun the moment they leave this room, however. Because this is still objectively the most traumatizing night of his life, since he is wearing a crop top and drinking water, while Chan and Seungkwan very obviously eavesdrop on every word spoken and literally laugh out loud when Mingyu compliments his outfit.

Scratch that. He is going to kill everyone involved, and then himself.

“I didn’t even know that you were at the game until I saw a fan post you on Twitter,” Mingyu is telling him. “Minghao asked for tickets, and he said it was for some friends. He didn’t say it was for you.”

You, he says pointedly, like Wonwoo is an exceptional case. Wonwoo is much too old for his heart to be fluttering in the very middle school-esque way it is now.

“I was kind of peer pressured into going, so don’t worry,” Wonwoo assures him. “And besides, you played really well. I was very impressed.”

Mingyu perks up. Puppy, the traitor part of his brain says. “Really? You were?”

“Aren’t you on the Olympic team?” Wonwoo laughs. 

Mingyu pouts, like, actually pouts. He towers over Wonwoo by only two inches but it’s still disarmingly cute. “Well, it’s different to hear it from you,” he says. Then he grins. “Thanks.”

Oh, Wonwoo realizes distantly. I’m doomed.

Kim Mingyu isn’t just hot and athletic: he is also charming and kind and caring. He dutifully refills Wonwoo’s water and makes sure everyone else in the room, including Wonwoo’s friends, aren’t too drunk. He orders food and chides Seokmin for drinking on an empty stomach. He takes videos of Jeonghan absolutely killing it at singing I Miss You by Kim Bumsoo like a proud mother. There’s one time where he hits Wonwoo’s arm when he laughs, and then apologizes.  

It does not take a genius to realize that Kim Mingyu is the ideal specimen, despite the fact that all of his jokes are awful and he’s too eager to please and seems to spill or knock something over every 15 minutes. Every time Wonwoo is dragged away into a different conversation, or busies himself with dealing with his friends, Mingyu is always smiling at him when he looks back. Every. Time.

Something cruel like hope blossoms in his chest, and it takes everything in Wonwoo to stamp it down. 

“How’s it going?” Soonyoung sing-songs into his ear, draping himself over Wonwoo’s shoulders, when Mingyu leaves to go to the bathroom. “Isn’t he hot?”

A drunk Kwon Soonyoung is not worth getting mad at, so Wonwoo just adjusts his glasses and says with a flat voice: “He’s fine.”

“You should marry him,” Chan suggests, leaning on Soonyoung who is leaning on Wonwoo.

“We just met, and he’s a fan,” Wonwoo reminds them, to no avail. The two of them burst into giggles, and soon enough, Seungkwan wants to join in. He comes over and buries his head into Wonwoo’s lap.

“Hyung, you’re in love,” Seungkwan giggles. “I haven’t seen you make that face since we saw IU in concert.”

There’s two people hanging onto his back and one more in his lap. He looks helplessly over at Jihoon, but he’s too busy doing karaoke with Seokmin. And Jun is busy filming them, on the other side of the room.

He’s alone.

“Stop trying to get me laid,” Wonwoo hisses to them. “He’s just. Um… you know.”

“You know,” Soonyoung mocks. “Your dream man.”

“A wet dream,” Seungkwan corrects.

“The only man!” Chan cheers.

“You okay over there?” Seungcheol calls out to Wonwoo. He must look insane, literally supporting three people solely with his weight and through spite.

“Uh,” Wonwoo says, sighing. “No.”

“Need any help?” Jeonghan asks, sitting up from where he was leaning into Seungcheol’s side.

Wonwoo looks down at Seungkwan, who is probably the least drunk out of the three of them but is still silly enough where he is tracing the visible part of Wonwoo’s stomach with a finger. Soonyoung has actually maybe fallen asleep, because his head is now a dead weight on Wonwoo’s shoulder, and Chan is singing ad libs for the trot song that Seokmin put on.

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo smiles. “I’m used to it. But we should probably head out.”

“Nooo!” Seungkwan whines, but still lets Wonwoo sit him up and drink water. Jihoon notices the commotion and comes over, dragging Chan up and motioning for Jun to come and get Soonyoung. It’s a practiced art, herding their drunken friends home. 

“Everything okay?” Mingyu asks when he comes back from the bathroom, eyeing where Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Jun are rummaging through their jackets and trying to wrangle Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Chan into putting theirs on.

“We’re gonna go,” Wonwoo is apologetic. “Sorry. I’m worried that if they drink any more, they’ll end up committing crimes.”

“Crimes?” Seokmin asks in a way that one might think is excited. Seungcheol nods knowingly and holds him back.

“It was nice meeting you guys,” Wonwoo offers, with a little bow that he barely manages because he has Seungkwan on his right shoulder. “It was fun.”

“Let’s meet again sometime,” Jeonghan smiles, waving.

“Yeah, let’s hangout,” Seungcheol grins.

With that, Jun herds Soonyoung through the door and Jihoon follows with Chan. Wonwoo drags Seungkwan and is stopped only by a hand on his elbow.

“Hyung,” Mingyu says. He’s smiling. “It was nice to meet you. Let’s hangout again, okay?”

Wonwoo can feel his face go red, and he wishes that he could blame it on alcohol. He smiles and nods slowly, trying not to think about how he has to look up to look Mingyu in the eyes. “Okay. Sounds good.”

Mingyu’s smile grows and his hand squeezes Wonwoo’s elbow before letting go entirely.

Wonwoo heads off with Seungkwan, who is at the stage of drunkenness where he’s sleepy and asking Wonwoo to bring him home to Hansol. Not that Wonwoo notices. He’s too busy trying to keep their steps steady as his ears burn and his elbow tingles with warmth from where Mingyu was touching him.

After they herd everyone into their respective taxis and say good night, Wonwoo is still thinking about it. He touches two fingers to his elbow, where heat still lingers, and tries not to blush like a schoolgirl. In the quiet of his own home, Wonwoo can hear his heart race with clarity.

-

So. Jeon Wonwoo may or may not have come to a realization.

It’s been a few days since the hangout. Or the meeting. Or whatever you want to call it. Wonwoo has done nothing but stream while being in an absolute daze. None of his viewers notice, but his friends instantly caught on to the dreaminess in his voice and the blush on his face when they met up for dinner.

“You love him,” Chan says. It’s not a question. 

Wonwoo reddens. “Well. Love is a strong word.”

It would be a lie to say that he doesn’t maybe-sort-of-probably have a thing for Kim Mingyu, especially after meeting him. And it’s impossible to hide anymore, not when he gets caught red handed when he does things like daydream about the way Mingyu laughs. The little heeheehee is terrible for his mental health. His friends are done with him. Seungkwan throws pickled radish at him and Jun very politely asks if he could contain that expression to the bedroom, please, because it’s disgusting.

The bottom line is that Wonwoo has feelings. And apparently, everyone is under the impression that he needs to do something about it.

“At least follow him back or something, damn,” Soonyoung says through a mouthful of tteokbokki. “Like, I know you stalk his socials, but you’ve met. It wouldn’t be weird to follow him.”

The rest of the group hums with agreement. Wonwoo is horrified.

“If I follow him, the fans will notice,” he defends. Which, to be fair, is true. Despite his delusions. He is incredibly aware that there is a Twitter account which tracks all of his likes and follows, as creepy as it is. “And they’ll be weird.”

“You already went to his game,” Chan points out. “They know. So stop being a p-word about it.”

A p-word. Wonwoo is offended. He might be a lot of things, like a little unhinged and neurotic and very particular about his OBS scene setup, but he is not a pussy. No, he is perfectly normal and well adjusted. And not cowardly in the slightest.

“Mingyu followed me,” Seungkwan says, like he should be jealous. “He sent me a video of a cat wearing a beret. If you followed him, he would probably send you a video of a cat wearing a beret, too.”

It would be a lie, to say that that isn’t tempting. Not just being in contact with Mingyu, but also receiving cat videos for his effort. Hmm.

“He wanted to meet up again,” Chan recounts. “You agreed. He has no way to contact you if you don’t follow back.”

Jun nods sagely. “And your desperation is ruining the vibe.”

The vibe, he says. They’re the ones always making the vibe about Wonwoo’s love life.

“Fine,” Wonwoo groans, taking out his phone. “I’ll do it. I’ll follow him back.”

He goes to Mingyu’s Twitter profile, eyeing the follow button. It mocks him. The latest post is new, a selfie of Mingyu and Seokmin where Mingyu is grinning with his canines and putting bunny ears behind Seokmin’s head. They’re wearing low cut tank tops at the gym, and Wonwoo may or may not be getting a little lost in the tan expanse of Mingyu’s collarbones.

Have a good day! The caption says, followed by a flexed arm emoji.

Mmm. Mingyu’s flexed arms. If only that was included in the picture.

“Oh, you’re literally hopeless,” Seungkwan declares, and then grabs Wonwoo’s phone from his hands and presses the follow button. Wonwoo watches in horror as it turns from a blue “follow” to a gray “followed.” 

It’s like watching his life end in slow motion. One second he’s full of hope, and the next second he is one of Kim Mingyu’s 3.4 million followers. All by Seungkwan’s grubby little evil hands.

“Kwan,” Wonwoo groans in despair, sinking down to put his head in his hands. “Now he knows that I know that I have perceived him. This is the worst day of my life.”

Everyone laughs at him, because they’re collectively all the worst people alive. Chan tries to cheer him up by shoving several sausages into his mouth at once (it doesn’t work). His phone feels like a rock of shame in Wonwoo’s left back pocket, and everyone tries to cheer him up by recounting the way Soonyoung leaked his own brand deal with Samsung on stream yesterday.

It’s too late: the damage is done. The notification has surely already gone through. Wonwoo has followed Mingyu on Twitter, and there is no going back.

-

The next day, Wonwoo is at a commercial shoot for the new Razer laptop.

He’s getting his hair done. It’s full of product but still looks so effortlessly tussled, like he didn’t even care what it looked like when he got out of bed today. The makeup-noona arranges each individual strand into its exact place, and Wonwoo is tweeting: filming an ad. I feel like a Kpop idol. What would my stage name be? when he gets the Twitter notification.

@min9yu_k: hi hyung :3

It takes a second before Wonwoo processes what he’s looking at. Yes, there is a DM notification, but it’s not one that he’s ever seen before. He has to read the username three times before he realizes he’s not getting trolled, but the real verified Kim Mingyu account has messaged him. With something as cute as a little hi hyung with :3 at the end.

Wonwoo’s insides shake, and he goes completely still.

“You’re really good at keeping still, Wonwoo-ssi,” his stylist comments after a long moment of Wonwoo’s internal freakout. “Even among celebrities, and I’ve worked with idols.”

“Uhh,” Wonwoo says, and his voice sounds small, like he’s hardly himself. “Thanks.”

He reads the message over and over again, maybe a hundred times. What does he do? What does he say? That’s Kim Mingyu in his phone, the handsome guy who delicately held Wonwoo’s elbow and smiled at him. Wonwoo is still trying to get a lid on his initial shock when his makeup is done and he’s called on set for his scene.

Fuck. Fuckkkkk.

“Just pretend to be gaming, the camera is gonna do all the work,” the director tells him as they sit Wonwoo down at a fake PC set up in a fake bedroom. The DM from Mingyu seems to nag at him from where his phone is in his pocket, but Wonwoo can’t afford to fuck this up - Razer is one of his best sponsors, and there’s other content creators on set, waiting to be filmed. 

While he may be a senior to them in the industry, on a platform like Twitch, that doesn’t mean shit. Any of them could surpass his popularity at any moment, or he could suddenly fade into irrelevance at the drop of a hat. It’s in his best interest to not be an idiot in front of them. After all, one of them could be the next Faker, or the next Ninja. There’s no telling what could happen, so Wonwoo buckles down on his role as MAN PLAYING GAME #1 - as the script described him - and puts everything he has into the five second shot of him playing a nondescript video game for the gaming ad. 

He’s never been known for his acting prowess, but the director deems it good enough after four takes - Wonwoo is positive that he looks like an idiot in all of them, but these commercial jobs keep coming to him, so he must be doing something right. 

The makeup-noonas usher him back to the changing room for the next shoot, which is where they’re all going to pose with laptops. It’s for social media ads this time, a photoshoot of various creators with the product. They change him into an outfit fit for a model: a blazer that shows off his thin waist and elaborate designer jeans that accentuates his long legs, and thankfully don’t ask him to take off his glasses. Thank god. 

Wonwoo looks at himself in the mirror, very impressed, and takes a picture to send to the guys. 

He’s herded back to the makeup chair. As the stylists work on his makeup, Wonwoo digs out his phone again and stares at the Twitter app. On there is the message from Kim Mingyu, waiting to be opened. 

Under normal circumstances, Wonwoo would go to Seungkwan for advice on how to approach this situation, but now he fears that he wouldn’t be able to survive the bullying that would occur after sending a text that says “Kim Mingyu messaged me wtf do I say???” They would laugh at him for that one until the day he dies, probably. 

Ugh. Fuck. 

The timing is also stellarly horrible. He’s on set, for god’s sake, which is really not the best place for him to be freaking out. It takes ten minutes alone for him to be courageous enough to even consider opening the message. He should probably do that, right? So Mingyu stays interested? Is that something he should be worried about??

The anxiety eats at Wonwoo quickly. He’s the most terrified of losing Mingyu’s interest, honestly. Or if Mingyu suddenly decided after meeting him that Wonwoo is actually lame and uninteresting and ugly and bad at League. Ugh. He opens the app, goes to his DMs, and clicks on the message. 

He lets out a shaky, deep breath. Well, that’s done. He opened it. 

If Wonwoo wasn’t sitting in a makeup chair right now, his head would be in his hands and he would be groaning in anguish. What does he do now?

He should probably… message him back? Right? But that’s maybe the hardest part about this whole thing. A “hi Mingyu” would be lame. He could be brave and match the energy with a “hiii :3” but that would be out of character and go against every single one of his morals. And Wonwoo is very particular about his morals. 

After a while of typing and internally crying and cursing himself for being an awkward introvert, he finally settles on a simple “hi :)”. It seems safe enough. It took him several minutes to pick between :) and :-), but he got there eventually. The message is just friendly enough, but not too overbearing, and matches his brand image without being too flashy. Which is the goal with everything he does, after all. 

Wonwoo feels like an absolute idiot when he has to physically brace himself as he hits the send button, but that’s what anxiety does to you. 

There. He did it. He sent it without anyone’s help, thank you very much, and he would like to go die now. 

“Can you close your eyes for me?” his stylist asks, and Wonwoo complies, turning off his phone. It’s too late to have any regrets now. If the message he sent was lame and Mingyu now hates him for it, the damage has already been done. 

God. Who knew how stressful it would be to have a (rather embarrassing, if we’re being honest here) crush on an Olympian athlete?

Before he can dwell on his anguish any further, his makeup is deemed to be done and he’s whisked off to the photoshoot. It’s pretty rare to get two ads done in the same day, but he’s thankful for it. It’s best to get everything over with as soon as possible, because he’s unnatural in front of a studio camera. 

Wonwoo listens to the poses they ask him to do as he holds the laptop with both hands. It’s kind of comical, the concept, but using content creators in ads is enough marketing by itself. There’s a shot of him mid-laugh as he types on the laptop. There’s another one of him looking intently at the screen, head resting on one hand. The hardest one to get is where he walks with the laptop tucked under his arm - because his gamer slouch is deemed to be unappealing, so he has to walk with the straightest his back has ever been in his entire life. 

They all look nice enough. After an hour of flashing lights and makeup adjustments and sweating under studio lights, Wonwoo is sent away to change out of his clothes and be let free for the day.

Thank. God.

He has one leg in his sweatpants when his phone dings with another Twitter notification, and Wonwoo is absolutely ashamed to admit that he scrambles over to where his phone is to check it, nearly tripping over his own pants in the process.

@min9yu_k: oh awesome i was worried you wouldnt reply for some reason lol

@min9yu_k: how are u!! whats up!!!!

Wonwoo smiles down at his phone, blushing furiously. Kim Mingyu just double texted him. Double texted! He tries his best to focus on putting the rest of his clothes on while he thinks about what to say.

Mingyu seems so enthusiastic. He used so many exclamation points. So obviously Wonwoo can’t be lame in his response, and he can’t be too boring. He has to be just interesting enough to match Mingyu’s energy, or else Kim Mingyu will find a streamer to stan who is hotter and better at League and can keep up a conversation.

Wonwoo stands outside the studio, waiting for his Uber, and types something out.

@gam3rbo1: ofc i would reply, youre my favorite fan :) 

@gam3rbo1: just finished a commercial shoot and now im waiting to go home and sleep

He tries not to come off as too desperate, not saying too much or too little. The hypothetical Twitch chat that runs in his head 24/7 yells POGGERS and W when Mingyu instantly responds.

@min9yu_k: all i am to you is a fan :( 

@min9yu_k: what was the shoot for

@gam3rbo1: dont be sad, being my favorite fan is a very special role! also i signed an NDA but youll see soon

@min9yu_k: ooh okayyyy mr streamer

@min9yu_k: i will work hard and one day this parasocial relationship will turn into friendship

@min9yu_k: youre gonna be MY fan

@gam3rbo1: hmm. we’ll see about that

@min9yu_k: you will be converted to kim mingyuism. as the stans say

@gam3rbo1: surely the stans would unstan if they knew their olympian was like this

@min9yu_k: noooo dont you know that i am a beloved athlete of korea?? this isnt very patriotic of you!!!

@gam3rbo1: maybe if you get gold this summer i will become a fan

@gam3rbo1: and then you can say that it isnt parasocial

@min9yu_k: you drive a hard bargain >:( 

@min9yu_k: BUT ITS A DEAL!!!

Wonwoo is shaken out of his focus on talking to Mingyu when his Uber pulls up to the curb and honks at him. He tries his best to stop grinning like a fucking idiot as he bows in apology and gets into the backseat of the car.

His anxiety is still driving into him in waves, but Mingyu is just as easy to talk to as he was the night they met. Wonwoo was worried he would scare him off with his tendency to bicker with everyone, but it seems like Mingyu is just as receptive to his banter. Thankfully.

@gam3rbo1: youll get gold for me?

@min9yu_k: anything for my streamer

Wonwoo can’t stop smiling. It’s pathetic, how giddy this makes him, how shy he has become. He imagines Mingyu on his phone, the way he shyly tucks his hair behind his ears when he smiles. He thinks about the way Mingyu looked at him like he was worth looking at. It makes him feel unbearably fond.

“This your place?” His Uber driver asks when they pull up to Wonwoo’s apartment building.

Wonwoo blinks, and realizes the whole drive has passed while he was thinking about Mingyu, lost in his own little world. 

Shit. He’s turning into an idiot.

-

Wonwoo is starting to develop a few bad habits.

There’s the thing with looking at Mingyu’s Twitter posts, which was already bad enough before, but now it’s amplified by the fact that Wonwoo knows that Mingyu wears a musky cologne and puts his hand on the back of his neck when he’s embarrassed. Wonwoo has accepted this particular habit of his, and so has everyone else: his viewers now know that Wonwoo will sometimes periodically stop mid-sentence and stare at his phone for several moments until someone drags him out of a trance. Luckily no one has connected these episodes to Kim Mingyu’s posting schedule, as far as he’s aware.

Do u have a gf now or something, one chatter asks, and Wonwoo tells them that the closest thing he has to a girlfriend is the Hatsune Miku figure on his desk.

The second bad habit is that he can’t stop texting Mingyu. No matter what Wonwoo is doing, if Mingyu messages him, he responds. Even in the middle of stream, which fuels the “do you have a gf” chats, and is only acknowledged by Wonwoo when Mingyu texts him “PAY ATTENTION TO STREAM, HYUNG!” or “aren’t you in the middle of a game?” The sheer embarrassment from being caught should dissuade him from continuing to do so, but if anything, it spurs him on. It reminds him that Mingyu is usually watching him play, and the satisfaction he feels at having Kim Mingyu’s attention on him stirs something foreign and ugly deep in his gut.

Not that he has time to unpack all of that, though.

“What’s up with you?” Chan asks him when they’re done streaming. It took him a spectacular 3 days to catch on to Wonwoo’s weirdness, which is a new record. “Were you even paying attention to League?”

No. He wasn’t. Mingyu was messaging him about a prank he pulled on Seokmin at practice today, and Wonwoo was completely enthralled. He should be ashamed, but Wonwoo hasn’t felt any type of way towards a single person in years, so the feeling of butterflies in his stomach is kind of addicting.

Wonwoo hums, feigning ignorance. “Not really.”

There’s suspicion in Chan’s voice. “Tell me what’s going on before I tell Soonyoung that something’s up.”

Realistically, Chan would never. Getting Soonyoung to harass information out of Wonwoo is only used under dire circumstances. Even so, Wonwoo sighs and relents. There’s no way that Chan would give up on his pursuit of knowledge, no matter how hard Wonwoo pushes back at him.

“Don’t judge me,” he warns.

Chan’s voice goes sickly sweet. “Hyung, I would never.” He absolutely would, but Wonwoo ignores that. 

“I,” he announces, “have been talking to Kim Mingyu through Twitter DMs.”

There’s a small part of Wonwoo that is expecting an applause, but Chan just goes silent for a moment before saying. “Well, obviously.”

A beat passes. Wonwoo narrows his eyes and says very slowly, “What do you mean ‘obviously?’”

Chan laughs. “You’re smiling at your phone all the time. But I thought that you were having, like, emotional problems. Because normally it would take someone dying in real life for you to not pay attention to a League match.”

Wonwoo blinks. “Oh.”

Well, he feels fucking stupid now. And very obvious. Apparently his fondness is obvious. Even so, Wonwoo can’t help his smile when he thinks about the message from Mingyu that is currently waiting for his response.

“Sooo, you really like him, huh?” Chan sounds overjoyed. “Have you changed your mind about the ethics of dating a fan?”

Dating a fan, Chan had said.

A fan.

Wonwoo’s smile suddenly fades from his face. 

He knows that he was joking about it with Mingyu and all, but something in him freezes at the reminder that Mingyu is a fan. It’s funny, how he forgot. How he forgot that they only met because Mingyu declared himself a fan. That’s the only reason.

Right. Wonwoo has a crush on a fan. The giddy part of him sobers instantly.

How could he be so stupid? Mingyu likes him, maybe, but that’s because he’s a fan. Wonwoo is a streamer, and viewers have certain perceptions of him because they are fans. Mingyu doesn’t like him for his sarcasm, or his dry wit, or his lame jokes. He likes Wonwoo because he’s hot and because the image that Wonwoo has crafted for the world to see is appealing to him. Mingyu is another one of the 8 million people who follow him. Devastatingly handsome and sweet, sure, but he’s just one of them.

Mingyu doesn’t like Wonwoo. He likes GAM3RBO1.

All at once, Wonwoo’s silly little crush suddenly feels suffocating. 

“Hyung?” Chan asks. “You okay? Did he message you, or something?”

“Umm,” Wonwoo’s voice sounds hollow, even to him. “Sorry, no, something came up. I have to go.”

“You have to go?” Chan repeats. “Hyung-”

“Sorry, Channie, I’ll talk to you later.” Wonwoo says, feeling like there’s a vice around his guts. “Bye.”

“Hyung-” Chan sounds confused, and Wonwoo hangs up the call. He looks around at his set up, at the proof of his existence as a content creator, and something within him crumbles. He shuts his PC down and leaves the room.

He feels like he’s been slapped by reality. He ignores the notifications on his phone that arrived from Mingyu, and goes into his room and flops onto the bed. He shuts his phone off when Chan texts him. Call him cowardly all you want. It’s all so stupid. He’s so stupid.

Wonwoo doesn’t know how he could let himself become so naive. Life isn’t so simple, and things with Mingyu are too good to be true. There’s nuances to them liking each other, and the nuance is that Kim Mingyu has been his viewer since 2016, and Jeon Wonwoo has the habit of falling for handsome nice guys.

Korea’s volleyball golden boy doesn’t just become friends with the nerdy ex-professional League player for fun. It’s because Wonwoo has built his image into something better than he could ever truly be, and Mingyu is interested in that version of Wonwoo. The version that has 8 million followers and is long-time friends with Faker and once held a Pokemon nuzlocke record for five minutes in 2018.

It’s stupid, how much Mingyu doesn’t like the real him.

It’s stupid how much Wonwoo likes the real Mingyu.

Fuck.

You’re an idiot, a voice in his head says as he burrows into the covers of his bed and closes his eyes. There’s peace in the act, in the dark, that removes Wonwoo from the world. He’s not GAM3RBO1 right now. He is Jeon Wonwoo, who is extremely lame and pathetic. The reality check is humbling.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo grumbles, talking to himself. “I know.”

Chapter Text

“So, what you’re telling me is that you’re stupid,” Seungkwan says slowly, with little malice. Still, the judgment is evident, as he eyes Wonwoo up and down over the top of his menu, and Wonwoo sinks into his chair.

He has no idea how his life has come to this, but it has. And there’s no getting out of it now. Not after everything.

Dinner started out simple enough.

After a week of practically pulling his own hair out in frustration, messaging Kim Mingyu back at record breaking speed, and then wanting to hit himself for replying at record breaking speed, Wonwoo has dug himself into a hole of self pity and self loathing. A hole that’s so deep, he agreed to Seungkwan’s dinner invitation to “sort out his problems.” Whatever that means.

Clearly, Chan tattled on him for the weird behavior, because now Wonwoo is sitting across from the two of them at a late night diner as they eye him down like they’re in a job interview.

It’s clearly an ambush from the start: Seungkwan hasn’t sung a single ad lib along to the girl group K-pop playlist the restaurant is playing. Chan didn’t ask for them to get beer or soju. There’s clearly no playing around today, and all attention is on Wonwoo. Unfortunately enough.

“I haven’t even said anything,” Wonwoo grumbles, knowing that they see right through him. His mental walls of defense have been described as “glass to anyone with more than two brain cells” before, so it’s not a surprise. 

“I know enough just by looking at you,” Seungkwan replies back, despite not even bothering to look at him. He skims the menu and one hand taps out a rhythm on the table. “A little birdie told me that you and Kim Mingyu have been DMing. You should be overjoyed. And yet, you look like shit.”

Chan winces at that one. Wonwoo closes his eyes, hoping to be swallowed up whole by his chair.

“The first week of contact with him went well, and we all know it because you looked like an idiot in love,” Seungkwan continues. “But now you look constantly constipated and depressed. So either he did something or you’re being stupid, and I’m assuming it’s the latter because Soonyoung would’ve killed him by now if he messed with you.”

Excellent deductions. Completely spot on. 

Wonwoo frowns. “I’m… fine.”

“You literally look like someone pissed in your water,” Chan disagrees, very vocally.

An ahjumma at the table next to them gives them a dirty look. Wonwoo gives her a little bow in apology, but the other two just continue to look at him seriously.

“There’s nothing wrong,” Wonwoo defends himself. “I have just come to a couple realizations… about the - let’s say - reality of my relationship with Mingyu.”

“The reality of your relationship,” Seungkwan repeats. “Do tell.”

Wonwoo clears his throat. “I just think that I need to be more cautious. Sure, I like him, but he’s a fan. He’s liked me since 2016. And even if we liked each other, it would never work out, because Mingyu likes who I am as a streamer, not as a person. And it wouldn’t be genuine.”

Seungkwan and Chan are both staring at him like he has grown two heads. Wonwoo braves on, because he is nothing if not resilient against his adversaries. 

“So I have decided that I can be his friend, because it would make him happy, but I’ll try to lose my feelings. I can’t date him, because I don’t want to get hurt.”

As far as Wonwoo is concerned, this is sound logic.

Seungkwan’s right eye twitches.

“Hyung, that makes no sense,” Chan says. “You can’t just assume his feelings. You’re making assumptions about how he feels before you’ve given yourself time to process the fact that you could date.”

Wonwoo, for all intents and purposes, diagrees.

“If he likes me, really, it’s a bad idea. There’s the power imbalance, for one,” he crosses his arms. “If Mingyu was a normal fan, you would never tell me to go out with him. You want me to date him because he’s hot and famous. I’m not going to encourage a parasocial relationship. I know how he feels, because that’s how all fans feel. He’s not any different just because he’s famous.”

His two friends, infamous for being the loudest people in any given room, are so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Don’t act like I’m being crazy.”

“You’re being crazy,” Chan says, no hesitations. 

“I’m simply speechless,” Seungkwan agrees, head in his hands. “I would not last a day in your brain.”

“What’s wrong with being cautious?” Wonwoo defends. “It’s not crazy.”

“You’ve known this guy for like two weeks and you’re making all these conclusions about how he feels, and you’ve already decided that things would never work out,” Chan points out. “You’re being a little… um.” He turns to Seungkwan. “How do I put this politely?”

“You’re being paranoid,” Seungkwan says. “And delusional.”

“Ah, yes,” Chan smiles like he’s got it all figured out. “Delusional.”

“The only delusion here is you two thinking that he’s, like, the one,” Wonwoo says. “He’s a fan.”

This argument between them is tired. They could probably go back and forth for hours, between Wonwoo’s strict boundary about no fans and everyone else’s stance that maybe it’s okay if they’re hot and famous (it’s not).

“So, you’ve stopped talking to him,” Seungkwan says. “If you’re so adamant on him being after you for your streamer image.”

Wonwoo reddens. “Well. Not exactly.”

If looks could kill, Wonwoo would be dead in the water right now. Chan actually reaches out a hand to Seungkwan’s shoulder, like Hansol does when he has to physically hold Seungkwan back.

“You’re still talking to him,” Seungkwan’s voice comes out shrill, and Wonwoo can feel the looks the other customers are giving them for being loud. “Hyung. Be serious.”

“I want to be his friend,” Wonwoo emphasizes. “We can still talk.”

Seungkwan looks like he might pass out.

“That’s…” Chan begins to say, and then stops. “Well. I don’t really know what to say.”

“You want to be his friend, but not date,” Seungkwan says. “Hyung. Are you hearing yourself? You already have feelings for him.”

Wonwoo shrugs. “I can have friendship feelings, surely.”

Chan stares at him. “Friendship feelings, you say.”

“I want to make him happy.”

“What if he says that it would make him happy if you dated?” Seungkwan says, exasperated. “What if he isn’t happy with just being friends? What if he realizes that you like him too?”

Wonwoo’s jaw goes slack. “Um.”

“How can you think about his feelings before you think of your own?” Seungkwan is starting to look upset. “You found this awesome guy who you like, finally, and you’re just going to ignore your feelings because he happens to be a fan? Hyung, you have to be honest with yourself. That’s not healthy.”

Wonwoo can’t say anything to that.

“He’s there, he clearly likes you, he’s a celebrity so he gets it,” Seungkwan counts off. “What are you so scared of?”

Wonwoo’s jaw shifts, but his mouth doesn’t move. He doesn’t know how to put it into words. 

It’s just that GAM3RBO1 isn’t even Wonwoo, not really. It’s nothing but an image. It’s like Wonwoo but leaning to the left and twice removed. It’s nothing but a projection, an image in the mirror, a concept at best. Wonwoo doesn’t know how to put it into simple words that he’s terrified of not being GAM3RBO1, how he’s scared shitless that he is someone else entirely, deep down. 

What are you so scared of?

He could write a list. It would never end. I have been online for over ten years, and I am scared of being seen for who I truly am, the list would start. It would continue with, I am scared of being a disappointment. I am scared of being an imposter. I am undeserving of what I have been given, and I am scared that if I show anyone who I truly am, they will take it all away.  

He can’t say that. He can’t. It’s a Wednesday and they’re sitting in a small diner and their knees are touching underneath the table. His friends know him, they do, and they know that he’s on the defensive, about to retreat. 

Wonwoo freezes under their gaze, and feels the terrified part of him multiply. 

“Hyung,” Seungkwan’s voice softens. “I’m sorry. We’re just worried that you’re not giving this guy a chance because you won’t let yourself have something good.”

Something good. Mingyu would be something wonderful. He knows. 

“I think,” Wonwoo croaks out slowly. “That I know I may be being unreasonable. But I’ve made up my mind, you know.”

Seungkwan and Chan give each other a meaningful look that Wonwoo is not well-versed enough in people to recognize. After a moment, they come to a silent agreement and nod slowly. 

“Hyung,” Seungkwan says. “You know that we have your back.”

Chan manages a smile. “It’s your decision.”

Wonwoo knows they are conceding when he sees it. They wave their white flag and give him what he wants. He should feel happy and self assured in his decisions. He should. 

Wonwoo should feel overjoyed to know that he’s understood that a relationship with Kim Mingyu would be bad for him. 

But he doesn’t. He feels like he’s drowning. 

The rest of dinner is a haze. He eats jjangpong, listening to Seungkwan and Chan talk but only ever paying half-attention. They let the subject go, for now, but the mood is still fragile. Wonwoo feels like all of his feelings for Mingyu have been placed on the table, free to dissect, and now he just wants to hide. 

You’re doing the right thing, his brain reassures him. Kim Mingyu is dangerous. 

The feelings are making him into something delicate. Easy to break. 

You could love him so easily, his heart says. He would be lovely. 

Wonwoo sighs. He would. 

When he checks his phone, there’s a goodnight message from Mingyu: goodnight hyung <3. It’s something so simple yet so touching, and Wonwoo feels his resolve waver.  

“You okay, hyung?” Chan calls out to him, worry evident in his voice. 

Wonwoo pockets his phone. There’s no time to backtrack now. He’s made his decision. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

-

Despite the obvious psychological torment, Wonwoo does not stop talking to Mingyu. You must be a masochist, Seungkwan exclaimed the other day. Wonwoo did not dignify him with a confirmation or denial. 

That’s nobody’s business but his own. 

It’s the late evening: Wonwoo putters around his streaming room as he gets ready for a stream. He’s running a bit behind schedule because Seollie had a vet appointment late in the day. Okay - not a bit. He’s actually very behind. The only reason he doesn’t cancel outright is that he sticks to his schedule with a passion, and he would feel too bad canceling it so last minute. 

His phone dings, distantly, with a notification from Twitter. Wonwoo is half distracted by adjusting his monitor heights as he checks it. 

@min9yu_k: hyunggg!! no stream today?

Wonwoo stops messing with his monitor and looks properly down at his phone. On their own, Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise as he reads the message. 

Interesting.

Besides occasional little encouraging notes, or telling him to focus, or reactions to a stream every now and then, Mingyu doesn’t often ask him about his streams, nor do they talk much about them. They mostly talk about their daily activities and send cat videos. Wonwoo chews on the inside of his cheek and types out a response as he boots his PC up.

@gam3rbo1: running late today. my bad

@gam3rbo1: are you at the gym? need something to watch?

Mingyu’s reply comes. Wonwoo stares at it for several moments. Huh. 

@min9yu_k: just can’t sleep. remember when i said that they help me fall asleep? :3

@min9yu_k: early practice tmrw so i have to sleep nowwww i was hoping for gamerboi ssi to go live before but i guess not :( 

It’s ridiculous, the way Wonwoo’s heart beats in his chest. He completely forgot about Mingyu watching his streams to fall asleep. Honestly, he thought that that might’ve been a joke.

But it clearly wasn’t, since he’s asking Wonwoo about it directly. His ears burn furiously from embarrassment.

@gam3rbo1: you are embarrassing me rn

@gam3rbo1: watch a vod!!!

@min9yu_k: i just want to hear your voice live >:( is that a crime????

@gam3rbo1: omg

@gam3rbo1: you are crazy

@min9yu_k: my streamer is so mean to me U_U

@min9yu_k: fine. im going to watch a compilation of you raging at teammates in val to fall asleep so i can remember how mean and evil you truly are

Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

@gam3rbo1: ???

@gam3rbo1: stop being dramatic

@min9yu_k: oh it’s at the part in the video where you tell your teammate that their mom doesnt love them

@min9yu_k: GOODNIGHT, HYUNG. NO THANKS TO YOU.

@gam3rbo1: mingyu -_-

@min9yu_k: I SAID GOODNIGHT!!!!

Wonwoo knows that Mingyu is joking, but a part of him can’t help but feel bad. Mingyu apparently watches only his lives to sleep, and at this rate, Wonwoo won’t be able to go live until after he goes to sleep. 

…Mingyu wants to hear his voice, huh?

Well. He could. 

Before Wonwoo can stop himself, he hits the call button at the top of his screen, next to Mingyu’s profile name.

The Twitter call page pops up. It rings twice, and before Wonwoo can stop to think what the fuck am I doing, am I an idiot??, Mingyu picks up.

Oh. He picked up.  

After a moment of silence - wherein Wonwoo nearly shits his pants out of nervousness - Mingyu’s voice comes through his phone, low and tiny. “‘Lo?”

Wonwoo’s voice sounds as nervous as he feels. “Mingyu.”

There’s a pause, and then Mingyu says, “Are you here to apologize for being mean? Or should I hang up and go back to watching ‘Top 15 Gamer Boi moments where he lost his shit?’”

Just like that, the nervousness washes away. It’s just Mingyu - handsome but also perfectly lame in every way. It’s so easy to talk to him. Just his voice alone sets Wonwoo at ease. He laughs. 

“I thought you were joking about that.”

Mingyu scoffs. “No, my sleepytime content is very serious.”

The lisp in his voice is a bit more obvious now, with his phone so close to his mouth, and Wonwoo’s heart actually clenches. His traitor brain runs a circuit of cute cute cute cute cute, and there is little Wonwoo can do to stop it. 

“Well,” Wonwoo draws out, mostly to hide how unbearably soft he feels. “You said that you need to hear my voice live. And I’m pretty certain that this is live right now.”

Mingyu says nothing for a moment, and Wonwoo’s heart drops to his ass. Was this stupid? Does Mingyu not like it? Did he go too far? Wonwoo is already planning an elaborate excuse to hang up and apologize tomorrow, when his train of thought is cut off promptly by Mingyu’s laugh.

“Oh, really?” He does a little hehehe, and Wonwoo’s heart lurches. “My own personal stream, hyung? I’m honored.”

Wonwoo swallows down a lump in his throat that appears from listening to Mingyu’s soft, sleepy voice. It rumbles through the speaker and Wonwoo closes his eyes as he talks.

“Your streamer is actually very nice, huh?”

“Oh, so it’s for your image,” Mingyu says, voice flat. “And here I thought I was special.”

Wonwoo hums. “I do this for any fan who has watched me since 2016 and thinks I’m cooler than Faker. But only if they play volleyball and whine at me like a puppy who’s been left on the side of the road.”

Mingyu laughs. “Thank god that I’m the only one, then. I don’t want to share.”

Wonwoo’s grin is involuntary. “Good thing, huh?”

They talk about… a lot of things. Wonwoo isn’t really keeping track. The call goes on, and Mingyu’s voice takes on a whiny quality to it that is emphasized when he scolds him with a “hyung!”, or even better, a stern “Wonwoo hyung.” Given that it’s Wonwoo’s job to sit and talk to a camera, it should come relatively easy to him, but when it comes to Mingyu, it just feels so natural. Easy, yes, but easy as breathing. Conversation flows between them so easily, and Wonwoo doesn’t even pay attention to the way the time ticks by on the lower right hand corner of his monitor.

“Are you looking forward to practice tomorrow?” Wonwoo asks, clicking a pen rhythmically because his hands demand to always be doing something. A side effect of the overstimulation of being a streamer, mostly. He’s used to always moving, always doing two or three things at once. 

“Hm, yeah,” Mingyu says. “It’s ramping up a bit for the national team. Our training is here in Seoul, so I don’t have to commute back and forth between here and Daejeon anymore. Thank god.”

“You commuted to Daejeon?”

“Yeah, no one really lives there, we would all take the KTX,” Mingyu says. “You live in Seoul too, right? Want to meet up soon?”

YES, Wonwoo’s brain screams. MORE THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.  

“Do you have time?” Wonwoo asks instead. “You sound busy.”

Mingyu laughs. His voice is deep, but sounds sweet to Wonwoo’s ears. “Hyung, I can always make time for you.”

Wonwoo can hear his heartbeat in his ears. I can always make time for you. Mingyu says it like it’s so easy; like he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

His face must be beet red now. God. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you should stick to a schedule,” is how Wonwoo chooses to reply. “How else will you win me gold? By slacking off?”

“Boo,” Mingyu pouts. “I want to see you, let me live.”

“Slacker.”

“You sit in a gamer chair for a living,” Mingyu complains. “What about Friday? I have a half day.”

“Hmm,” Wonwoo pretends to think, despite being perfectly aware that he has no shoots or commitments this week besides his daily streams. “I suppose Friday is fine.”

“Poggers,” Mingyu says with all seriousness. Then, he adds: “Did I use that correctly?”

Wonwoo laughs. “You’re lame.”

“I’m trying to appeal to your demographic!” Mingyu says, fake hurt in his voice. “Isn’t that what you say?”

“That’s what I say,” Wonwoo agrees, “and you should stick to handling balls, or whatever you do.”

“Haha. Very funny, hyung.”

“I borrowed that one from Soonyoung, for your information.”

They talk late into the night. Wonwoo recounts Seollie’s vet appointment and the chaotic brunch he had with Soonyoung and Jun and how he feels about the new Valorant battlepass. He thinks that the Lunar New Year bundle was good, but they should’ve promoted it better. Mingyu tiredly agrees to everything he says, despite - and this is a direct quote - “not knowing shit.”

As the conversation goes on, Wonwoo can hear the sleepiness in Mingyu’s voice more and more. It’s nearing 10 when Mingyu yawns and there’s a rustling of sheets on the other side of the call. 

“Sleepy?” Wonwoo asks. 

Mingyu yawns again. “Mhmm.”

“Should I go?” Wonwoo fiddles with a hoodie string. The last thing he wants to do is go, but Mingyu needs to sleep. 

“Mm,” Mingyu’s voice is quiet. “Can I just fall asleep with you on call? Your voice helps.”

Wonwoo blinks. “Oh.”

“‘S that okay?” Mingyu’s voice goes shy. “You can go if you need to.”

Wonwoo’s mouth is dry and his face is red. His heart is pounding so loud. “No, it’s okay, I’ll stay on.” He pauses. “Just fall asleep, okay? What should I talk about?”

Mingyu laughs, a quiet, sleepy thing, and it’s Wonwoo’s new favorite sound. That laugh could bring world peace and stop worldwide hunger. 

“Whatever you want. I just wanna hear you.”

Wonwoo has to swallow down his fondness. It’s threatening to burst at the seams. “Alright, okay. Okay. I’ll tell you all about my T1 days, how about that?”

-

WONU @gam3rbo1

sorry for no stream last night :( i fell asleep early mb

-

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @gam3rbo1

:( streamer bad at streaming

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @ming9yu_k

who asked ?!

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @ming9yu_k

you are soooo mean to me!! is everybody seeing this ?? :( 

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @ming9yu_k

YOU came into MY replies !!!!!

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @ming9yu_k

YOU could learn a little KINDNESS, SIR!!!!!!

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @ming9yu_k

I am going to block you.

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @gam3rbo1 and @ming9yu_k

NOOOOOO DONT DO IT IM SORRY KING FORGIVE ME

-

“You and Kim Mingyu are friends?” Wonwoo reads from chat while he’s taking a break from playing comp in Overwatch. “Hmm, yeah.”

Chat, understandably, goes nuts.

wonwoo4pres: the twt interactionnnn ugh im going crazy

m9kgyu: do u think they’ve explored each others bodies (deleted by a moderator)

wonu_timeee: you mean the FAN kim mingyu??? he beat the parasocial allegations??

juhfghwh17782: NOOOO GUYS HE STOLE WONU FROM US FUCKKKK

Wonwoo reads chat, amused. People are either shipping them or upset that Mingyu was able to go from a fan to a friend. His audience has seemingly adopted Mingyu as one of their own, and on Twitter, memes have started spreading about Mingyu being “the #1 Wonwoo stan.” 

The whole friend group thinks it’s hilarious, and sends them to Wonwoo constantly.

“Is it so crazy for me to have friends?” Wonwoo asks, smiling.

Yes, chat says.

Wonwoo laughs. I have never seen you interact with someone outside of your friend group, a dono says. We are all shocked.

“It’s not that crazy,” he says. “Guys, calm down.”

He returns back to Overwatch, fielding a few questions every now and again, just to keep his viewers on their toes. He informs them that yes, they have met. No, they don’t have pictures together. Yes, Mingyu is taller than him. No, he will not disclose what Mingyu smells like.

“Is he dreamy IRL?” Wonwoo reads from chat. Chat floods with a dichotomy of STOP and ANSWER THE QUESTION, WONWOO. He hopes that they are at least starting to feel embarrassed. Wonwoo grins at his facecam. “I’d rather not say.”

Several people keyboard smash in the chat.

He plays two games and wins both of them before his phone dings with a message from Mingyu. Wonwoo grins down at it.

@min9yu_k: STOP TALKING ABOUT ME

@min9yu_k: IM EMBARRASSED

@min9yu_k: I CANT DO MY LEG REPS IF YOURE IN MY EARS ANSWERING IF IM HOT OR NOT

Wonwoo laughs. Chat is asking him what he’s looking at, and if it’s Mingyu. He types out a “:P” as a response, and leans forward to look at chat intently.

“I’ve just been told off, so we are going to stop talking about Kim Mingyu,” he says, bowing in apology. “If you’re mad, go yell at him on Twitter.”

It’s an evil move, but chat is eager to listen. Wonwoo grins as they all say BRB and COMPLAINING RN and he gets a new message from Mingyu.

@min9yu_k: YOU ARE SO EVIL :(((((

-

It’s the meetup day, and Wonwoo is proud to say that he lasts about an hour before he caves in to ask Soonyoung what to wear. That’s a new record.

“You guys are going on a date?” Soonyoung asks. Over Facetime, his eyes are squinting and his hair sticks up in all directions, barely awake. 

Wonwoo frowns, and looks for a t-shirt that isn't (1) black or (2) related to gaming. The pickings are slim. “Not a date. It’s a hangout between friends.”

“Oh. Friends.” Soonyoung doesn’t sound convinced. “Since when do you have friends?”

Wonwoo scoffs. The audacity. Last time Wonwoo checked, he was a part of a friend group, unless he’s been hallucinating this whole time and the lot of them turn out to just be the devils on his shoulder.

“You’re my friend. I can have two friends.”

Soonyoung frowns. “Jun is your second friend.”

Wonwoo pauses and gives him a dirty look. “I can have three friends.”

“Jihoon is your third friend.”

“You are not my friend, you are the devil,” Wonwoo snaps at him. “You were put on this earth to torment me. I will make a fourth friend if it’s the last thing I do.”

Soonyoung grins. “No, he should be your boyfriend.”

He’s an annoying little shit. If he were here in real life, several pillows would’ve been thrown at his head by now.

“The way we interact is completely platonic and it’s going to stay that way,” Wonwoo promises, which is a half truth. He’d have to be an idiot to not be aware that there are homosexual tendencies underlying every interaction between him and Mingyu, but that’s no one’s concern but his own. “Now help me find an outfit.”

“Hmm, okay, for your not-date,” Soonyoung says. “What were you thinking?”

Wonwoo assesses the garments in his hands - a pair of baggy black sweats and a T1 t-shirt he got when he visited Keria at the latest T1 match. 

Well.

“Let’s not go off of my thinking,” Wonwoo suggests. “Please help me.”

Soonyoung nods sagely like his fashion wisdom will save the world. Maybe it will. “Okay. How do we feel about crop tops?”

Wonwoo groans. He’s doomed.

-

Two hours and one mild panic attack later, Wonwoo is not wearing a crop top, but rather, a flannel and jeans as he stands outside of the Seoul Olympic stadium (because he got Soonyoung to see reason after bribing him with the promise of hotpot), looking up at the huge building with uncertainty. Mingyu told him to come in and watch the last leg of practice while he waits for Mingyu to be done, but now that he’s here, Wonwoo isn’t sure that he won’t pass out when he sees those tiny volleyball shorts and tank top on the 6’2 mass of bronze skin and long limbs.

Well. There’s no time like the present.

He walks in, then puts in the security code to the arena. Mingyu gave it to him and made him promise that he wouldn’t tell it to anyone else (despite the fact that Wonwoo only knows like twenty people, max, in the whole world). As he walks into the stands, he’s met with the smell of the gym and the squeaks of sneakers on hardwood. He climbs down to the front row, relieved that no one has noticed him yet.

They’re playing a practice game, Wonwoo thinks. It’s a 5v5. He recognizes Jeonghan and Seokmin and Seungcheol, and then his eyes land on Mingyu and he can’t look away.

Long legs and thick arms, skin barely covered by shorts and a tank top, bangs pulled back into a ponytail away from his face. Mingyu glows under the lights of the gym and Wonwoo suddenly finds himself to be enraptured with the image …once again.

Mingyu sticks out even amongst other national athletes with equally impressive builds and size. His presence alone speaks for itself. Wonwoo watches with rapt attention as he spikes a set, and it lands cleanly on the other side.

He moves so fast for such a big guy. It’s impossible to look away from him.

Wonwoo takes a picture of Mingyu playing, and then a selfie with him and the court as the background. You know. Just for fun.

They play for a bit more, and it’s fast paced the whole time. The power of Olympians is evident - spikes that ring out on impact, sets that are so quick, you can barely see them. Eventually, the coach blows the whistle and everyone takes a break, meandering over to the sidelines to grab water and towels. Wonwoo isn’t even really paying attention when he hears his name being called.

“Yo! Wonwoo!”

He blinks down at the court. Jeonghan is waving to him, grinning, towel slung around his neck. Wonwoo waves back, smile unsure.

“Hi.”

“Mingyu invite you?” Jeonghan asks. Wonwoo nods. “How do we look? Cool, or what?”

Wonwoo grins. “You look awesome.”

“Oh, it’s Wonwoo hyung!” Seokmin notices the commotion and runs over. To Wonwoo’s horror, Seokmin jumps up and hangs onto the railing in front of his seat, and pushes himself up so that he and Wonwoo are face to face. “Hi.”

“How can you jump so high?” Wonwoo is shocked, to put it mildly. Seokmin laughs.

“My vertical jump is pretty insane.”

“Hey, leave my streamer alone,” comes Mingyu’s voice. Seokmin and Wonwoo both look down to see Mingyu staring up at them, hands on his hips. He’s smiling widely. Wonwoo’s heart does several backflips in his chest.

“Mingyu.”

“Are they bothering you, hyung?” Mingyu asks, ignoring Jeonghan who pulls Seokmin down off the railing by his feet. Seokmin yelps and goes down easily. “We’re done for the day. Give me like twenty minutes, and then I can meet you.”

Wonwoo smiles. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

Mingyu is smiling up at him, eyes squinting and cheeks overtaking his face. It’s the smile that Wonwoo remembers looking at him so fondly during the karaoke meeting. His heart hammers away in his chest and Wonwoo suddenly feels so shy.

“Well, wait for me, okay?” Mingyu says. Still smiling. “And ignore these idiots. They’re annoying.”

‘Hey!” Seokmin says, offended. Jeonghan waves to Wonwoo and drags him away. The coach seems to be calling them in for a huddle, and Mingyu waves too.

“Be right back!”

Wonwoo watches as they do stretches and then break for the locker rooms. He messes around on his phone for a bit. Remembering the photos he took, he opens Twitter and drafts a tweet.

WONU @gam3rbo1

i dont know anything about volleyball 

[img attached: Grainy picture of Mingyu standing with his hands on his knees, watching as he waits for the ball. He’s drenched in sweat but still looks good.]

[img attached: Wonwoo holds up a peace sign as a match plays in the background.]

The tweet is unassuming and comes off as a joke between friends, so it’s fine. Wonwoo hums to himself as he refreshes his inbox and reads the incoming replies, which are all shocked and full of keyboard smashes and flabbergasted memes.

Heh.

Minutes pass by, and then “hyung, I’m back,” comes Mingyu’s voice. Only much closer this time. 

Wonwoo turns around to be met with Kim Mingyu in all his tanned glory, standing over him and smiling. His hair is dripping wet, probably from a shower, and he’s changed into a sweater and jean shorts.

Ugh. He looks so handsome. It’s awful.

“You should dry your hair,” is what Wonwoo says as a greeting, because he’s an idiot. “You’re gonna get a cold.”

Mingyu pouts. “Well, hello to you too. It’ll dry on its own.”

Wonwoo shakes his head and stands up to walk over to join Mingyu. “Okay, fine, Mr. Olympian. But don’t come crying to me when you get sick.”

Mingyu sticks his tongue out at him, says “I’ll cope,” and then takes the opportunity to drag him by the elbow, up the arena stairs, and out the door. Spring greets them with a gentle breeze as they leave the stadium. Cherry blossoms are blooming outside. Mingyu doesn’t let go of his elbow, and Wonwoo wishes he could blame his red cheeks on the cold. 

“What’d you wanna do?” Wonwoo asks him. He tried to make a concise itinerary for their dat- er, hangout. But Mingyu insisted on it being a surprise, after much convincing. Wonwoo was only won over after Mingyu promised to take him to a good hamburger place at one point or another.

Mingyu grins. “You’ll see.”

They make their way to the car park, where Wonwoo is horrified to find that they are looking for Mingyu’s porsche. He’s hot and drives a flashy car, which is the worst combination to exist. He puts the sunroof down and lets Wonwoo pick the music and puts sunglasses on.

He even drives with one hand and checks his blind spots by putting an arm behind Wonwoo’s seat and looking over.

This is absolutely horrible for Wonwoo’s health.

“You better not be taking me somewhere to kill me, Soonyoung has my location and 911 on speed dial,” Wonwoo warns him, mostly because this whole thing feels too good to be true. Mingyu laughs and he looks so… handsome. Devastatingly so. Wonwoo’s resolve to be no more than his friend is a weak, weak thing that grows smaller by the minute.

“Hyung, how would I fall asleep if I killed you?” Mingyu teases him. “Without your streams, I would be so miserable.”

“So you just want me for my streams.”

Mingyu grins over at him, dopey and puppy-like. “Only a little bit.”

Wonwoo hits him on the arm, shy and gentle. Mingyu hasn’t stopped smiling, and Wonwoo feels like he’s on top of the goddamn world.

They drive through Seoul, and Mingyu evades every question about where they’re going. He’s only given a hint when they pull up to, lo and behold, a hamburger restaurant. Mingyu raises his eyebrows at Wonwoo, as if gauging his reaction. Wonwoo nods in approval.

“This is a good start.”

Mingyu sighs in relief, funnily enough. “Oh, thank god. Let’s go in.”

The restaurant is cute and quaint. They’re one of the only ones in there, which is great because they’re both famous and would prefer to not run into fans. The food is really good, which is a pleasant surprise, and Mingyu takes an ugly picture of Wonwoo while he’s in the middle of taking a bite.

“Delete it, it’ll ruin my image,” Wonwoo groans, swatting at Mingyu.

Mingyu laughs, holding his phone to his chest. “Nooo, it's cute. Let me have it.”

(Wonwoo lets him have it.)

Unfortunately, Mingyu pays for their lunch before Wonwoo can even take out his wallet. They agreed to split all payments before over text, and now Mingyu is going back on his word. What an asshole. It’s not like Wonwoo doesn’t make as much as him, not when he has sponsorships and stream donations and subscribers. Wonwoo pulls a Mingyu and gives him the biggest puppy-dog eyes he can muster.

If it were anyone else, they would be disgusted by the act. But Mingyu’s ears go red. “Don’t pout at me like that,” he says weakly. “I was just acting on instinct.”

Wonwoo gets his revenge by getting Mingyu to trip over his foot when they walk out the door, and then laughs at his misery. It’s fun to tease him.

They drive to Han River park, and Wonwoo tries to not think about how this is a very Coupley thing to do. Flowers are blooming and they are going to go on a walk at Han River. Mingyu parks the car and smiles at him, and Wonwoo has the recurring thought of “oh, I’m screwed, aren’t I?”  

Yes. Yes he is.

“Should we sip beers and watch the sunset?” Mingyu teases. 

Wonwoo narrows his eyes at him. “Now you’re trying to get me inebriated.”

“Hyung!” Mingyu complains, shaking one of his shoulders as Wonwoo smiles to himself. “Stop that! I’m not creepy, I’m normal!”

A few people passing by them in the parking lot give him weird looks. Wonwoo laughs.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

Mingyu sighs and fits an arm across Wonwoo’s shoulders, and they walk like that. He’s touchy and affectionate, which Wonwoo is ashamed to admit that he really likes. The two inches of height between them seemingly makes a world of difference, and Mingyu seems to tower over him even though he’s actually not. Maybe Wonwoo is just used to always being the tallest person in the room.

“You drive me crazy,” Mingyu mutters, knocking his head against Wonwoo’s. 

Wonwoo smiles. “Well, you drive me crazy too.”

It’s nice. Getting along with Mingyu is so ridiculously easy, and it feels so natural just to be close to him like this. There’s a part of them always touching, and the nervous boy from the karaoke room who apologized for hitting his arm seems to be gone. They’ve bonded over DMs much more than Wonwoo realized, and it’s evident in the way they tease each other and chase each other around.

He’s never felt like this with another person before, Wonwoo realizes belatedly. No one has ever made him feel this alive.

The act of walking around Han River together should be cheesy in itself, but yet it’s not. Mingyu talks about his training regimen and how the team is shaping up, and Wonwoo tells him about his subathon that’s coming soon. Mingyu even vows to buy Wonwoo’s new merch, much to his embarrassment, and is very adamant about it. So much so that Wonwoo caves and gives him a discount code, at least.

“Please tell me you won’t go to practice wearing Gamer Boi merch,” Wonwoo asks him, helplessly.

Horrifyingly, Mingyu just smiles and says nothing. Like the evil bastard that he is.

They do end up getting beers (non-alcoholic for the driver) and sitting at the edge of the river on a bench. The sun sets in oranges and yellows and it’s just so nice to be there with each other. Mingyu’s side profile glows, bathed in orange, as he takes a sip. Wonwoo’s traitor brain says I like you so much I could die.

Alarmed by the thought, Wonwoo looks down at his shoes and prays for lightning to strike him down.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Mingyu asks. He’s endlessly sweet and doting and he’s everything Wonwoo could’ve ever hoped for. His canines peek out of his smile. There is literally nothing unappealing about him, even though he chews with his mouth full and teases Wonwoo at every opportunity and embarrassingly enough, knows all of Wonwoo’s gaming stats. It’s common knowledge, he says every time, like it’s a given, even though it’s really not.

“‘M okay,” Wonwoo manages a smile. Despite his own torturous feelings, there’s nothing in this world that could persuade him to be anywhere else right now, not ever. Well, maybe if Chan was kidnapped and the condition was “don’t go on a date with Mingyu or else he’ll die,” then maybe he would reconsider.

(Maybe.)

Mingyu grins. He knocks their shoulders together, and their thighs touch. Wonwoo feels outrageously warm in the cool early spring air. 

“I’m happy,” Mingyu says. “It’s nice to be here with you like this.”

Wonwoo laughs and blushes. The mole on Mingyu’s nose is distracting and for one second, Wonwoo lets himself feel all of his ridiculous feelings. The tenderness, the fondness, the attractiveness. It knocks into him like a freight train, and all he can do is smile.

“Me too.”

-

Wonwoo is eight matches deep into his Valorant session. Chat is as active as ever, despite it being 2 AM, and he’s feeling weirdly content.

With himself. With his life.

Following the not-date with Mingyu, he’s been feeling oddly contemplative, more so than usual. If his friends have noticed, they don’t say anything about it. It’s mostly good things, feeling almost high off of the tenderness that Mingyu showed him. It’s been a while since Wonwoo has even been close to another person outside his friend group, let alone someone he actually likes so much. It’s been years, literally, and getting to finally tease and joke with someone who isn’t one of his close friends - who all know him way, way too well, and are able to read him like a book - is something he isn’t taking for granted. Wonwoo is endlessly grateful for Mingyu’s existence.

So yeah, it’s mostly good things. 

Mostly.

Wonwoo feels himself falling further and further for Mingyu, which is alarming. Because, theoretically, the feelings he harbors for him now are supposed to be platonic. Or that’s his goal, at least. But it’s not like Mingyu makes that easy for him, not with his kind smile and pouty voice and the way he likes slinging his arm over Wonwoo’s back or playing footsies underneath the dinner table.

So Wonwoo is having a mild crisis about it, but it’s fine. It’s fine.

Overall, there’s an odd feeling of satisfaction that he’s experiencing these days, and Wonwoo is not used to it. It feels like he’s living a new life, by being in Kim Mingyu’s orbit. Mingyu has become Wonwoo’s sun, and he doesn’t know how to live any other way. Not after everything, not any more.

Mingyu is something all encompassing, overwhelming. He is larger than this life. It’s hard to look at him and see just a man - when you look at him, you see the future. He is the kind of guy who will have a legacy, who deserves everything that he receives and more.

Wonwoo, in comparison, is an internet celebrity who only leaves his house to either eat or work. He has done little to deserve what he has, there is no world in which he deserves Mingyu. Of all things.

He just has to keep remembering that.

It’s a privilege enough to be able to be so close to Mingyu. It feels like he has everything and more just by being able to wake up to Mingyu’s texts and fall asleep on call with him. To get to see him, to touch him.

Wonwoo can’t ask for more. He can’t.

He’s grateful for what he has, really, and he tells himself that life is good enough as it is.

“Wonwoo, are you sure that you know what you’re doing?” Soonyoung asks him one night, after stream. It’s 3 AM and they’re both tired from their League marathon, where they mostly lost. “With Mingyu. Are you being careful?”

He knows that Soonyoung doesn’t mean careful in the same way he does. To Wonwoo, being careful means being paranoid. To Soonyoung, it means being gentle with his heart.

Wonwoo is not being gentle with his heart. He doesn’t know how to.

“Of course,” Wonwoo smiles sadly, lying through his teeth. “You know me. I always play it safe.”

(He is a liar.)

Chapter Text

“Hyung-“ Mingyu starts, whine in his voice, and Wonwoo has half the mind to hang up the call. 

“No, absolutely not,” he says. “I’d rather die.”

Having a stand-off with Mingyu over the phone is not how he expected to end his night, but dire circumstances call for dire action. 

…Maybe he should explain. 

There has been a phenomenon, recently, among his fanbase - well, it’s less of a phenomenon and more of a rally against Wonwoo’s sanity, to be honest. Everyone and their mother wants Mingyu on one of his streams, and Wonwoo is adamantly against the idea. They have flooded his social media with memes and fan art and pleas for a collab, no matter how many times Wonwoo tells his donos and viewers that it’s not gonna happen.  

Not that anyone seems to care about his opinion on the matter, though. 

“I promise I’ll behave,” Mingyu says, pout evident in his voice. He is the spearhead of the movement, whether he knows it or not. Every time he replies to one of Wonwoo’s tweets, he spurs the fans on. It doesn’t help that Mingyu himself seemingly wants to be on one of Wonwoo’s streams more than he wants to win gold at the Olympics, judging by the fact that he’s been begging Wonwoo to let him do it at every chance given to him.

The truth is that Mingyu’s behavior is the last thing that Wonwoo is worried about. 

No. He’s worried about his own behavior.

The issue here is that Wonwoo’s crush is… extremely obvious. Yes, he’ll admit it. He knows when to come clean. Extremely obvious might even be putting it lightly, because Wonwoo is perpetually sprouting a blush and facial expression that Seungkwan affectionately calls “lovesick” when he’s around Mingyu. 

It would be even more obvious to the viewers, who quite literally spend hours every single day watching Wonwoo’s face live. They can read microexpressions, he is well aware, because one tweet that accused him of hiding something blew up the time Wonwoo had a stomach ache while streaming. 

It was beyond embarrassing to admit to his viewers that he was fine, his tummy just hurt. No one has let him live that down, either. 

Having Mingyu on a stream would basically mean proclaiming his crush to his audience of 8 million people, none of whom know that he is secretly a raging homosexual with a thing for puppy-like volleyball players. And he would like to keep it that way. 

“I wouldn’t be able to focus if you were there,” is the best excuse Wonwoo can come up with, which is actually also true. There is nothing in this world more distracting than Kim Mingyu’s presence, after all, and Wonwoo’s productivity has declined significantly ever since Mingyu has entered his life. 

“Aww, my face is too handsome?” Mingyu stops pouting, momentarily, to coo at him. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “No, you’re so needy that I wouldn’t be able to focus on the game.”

Mingyu makes a hmph sound but doesn’t refute the claim, since they both know that that’s just genuinely true. Attention whore, Wonwoo had said fondly once. Just for you, hyung, Mingyu had responded. 

“We could do something funny, like a challenge or something,” Mingyu suggests. “Ooh, like the Newlyweds game.”

Wonwoo frowns. “Have you ever seen me do anything besides playing video games?”

Mingyu goes silent for a second, contemplative. And then, “sometimes you vlog.”

Fuck. He’s right. Wonwoo is an avid vlogger for his Youtube channel.

“We can do a vlog, then,” Wonwoo concedes. A vlog would be much more manageable. He’d be able to edit himself out when necessary, and he could control what the viewers see. It would be different from being on stream, where everything is live and there’s a million chances for something to go wrong.

“That’s so lame,” Mingyu whines. “I want to play games with you, I want to talk to your chat.”

Wonwoo stiffens. “I’m never letting you talk to chat.”

Never in his life. It would be Jeon Wonwoo’s ultimate downfall, letting the delusional masses interact with Mingyu directly. Mingyu isn’t a streamer, so he doesn’t know the horrors of what a Twitch chat contains, not really.

He doesn’t know that Wonwoo’s mods work day and night to stop messages like “Wonwoo daddy” or, even worse, “Gamer Boi oppa.”

They’re all depraved.  

“Hyung,” Mingyu says. Wonwoo is lucky that they’re not face to face right now, because those puppy eyes do catastrophic things to his morale.

“Don’t ‘hyung’ me,” Wonwoo says, apparently able to fight back against Kim Mingyu’s charms. For once. This is the bravest he’s ever felt. “Being a streamer is actually very stressful, I don’t want you exposed to those crazy people.”

Mingyu hums. “Your fans?”

“Everyone on Twitch is insane,” Wonwoo says. “Including me.”

Mingyu laughs. “Aw, hyung, thanks for protecting my purity. That’s sweet.” And then he says in what Wonwoo calls his evil, teasing voice: “But if I’m one of your viewers, doesn’t that also make me crazy?”

Wonwoo blinks and says nothing. Oh.

Shit, he’s got a point. Mingyu is one of them.

“I forgot you were a fan, stay away from my setup,” Wonwoo decides after a moment of clarity. He needs to learn how to keep his priorities straight. “You’re all crazy, you’re gonna try to steal my underwear or something.”

“Your underwear?”

“No fans allowed on my setup,” Wonwoo tells him. “You are banned from streaming.”

Mingyu is laughing. Slowly, a smile breaks onto Wonwoo’s face before he even realizes it. As much as he wants to stress out about this, Mingyu makes it hard: he breaks down Wonwoo’s carefully laid defenses just so easily. Wonwoo’s heart has a big Mingyu-sized hole in it, cut out just for him, and Mingyu exploits it so easily.

“Fine, I won’t stream,” Mingyu pretends to grumble, but you can hear the smile in his voice. “But I want to be in a vlog, okay?”

“Okay, okay,” Wonwoo agrees easily. “But I’m going to use your face for clickbait, just so you know.”

-

It’s sometime around noon, when Wonwoo wakes up on a random Thursday. He blinks sleepily and feels around for his phone while putting his glasses on.

It takes several moments for him to process what’s written on his screen, but when he looks at his Twitter notifications, his eyes widen.

That… is a very big number.

Did I get cancelled? is the first thought in Wonwoo’s head, despite the fact that the most cancellable thing he’s ever done is misgender Genshin Impact characters (because they all look like gay twinks, let’s be honest). He opens Twitter and taps around, trying to find out what he did.

He looks at the tweet he keeps getting tagged in, and oh, it all makes sense now.

The Razer ad photos got posted.

Wonwoo doesn’t think that they’re anything special, really. He looks the way he pretty much always does, just with eyeshadow and fancy clothes. The Razer ad has 300k likes, which is fucking nuts. It’s just two photos: one of Wonwoo and another girl who’s a streamer, both posing with the laptop.

IS THAT GAMER BOI???? the top reply says. WONWOO????? THATS YOU???

Well, maybe the photos are more impressive than he thinks.

The reactions vary from horny to straight-up impressed. Every reply is a compliment, both to Wonwoo and the other creator, which is… well, it’s nice. But he’s a bit shocked by the overwhelming reaction, when as far as he’s aware, all he’s doing is just standing there.

He quote retweets it with a caption that says “thanks for all the love!! #RazerPartner” (the latter part he is contractually obligated to include), blinking slowly as the likes and replies roll in. Shit, he’s not awake enough for all of this. 

There’s also an influx of DMs from creators that he’s mutuals with, complimenting him on the photos. Chronically introverted, the last thing Wonwoo wants to do is respond to all of them. But Mingyu’s message sits at the top of his inbox, so he opens it.

@min9yu_k: WAS THE RAZER AD YOUR NDA? WOW!!!!!!

@min9yu_k: you look GOOD hyung

Wonwoo’s face goes red. 

It’s one thing to be complimented, but it’s another thing to be told that he looks good by Kim Mingyu, whose editorial covers look like they're featuring a top model. Mingyu, who has more abs than Wonwoo can count and is literally an Olympic athlete. He said “good” in all caps. All. Caps. That’s crazy.

Hnng. This is so embarrassing.

@gam3rbo1: shut up

@gam3rbo1: theyre just photos 

@min9yu_k: and he’s so humble <3

@min9yu_k: you look GOOD!!!!! im going to send the stylists flowers

@min9yu_k: like thats my streamerrrr

@gam3rbo1: you are insufferable.

@min9yu_k: boo hooooo

@min9yu_k: alsooooooo call me?? uwu

He blinks at the last message, then hits the call button without fanfare. Mingyu picks up on the first ring, which is when Wonwoo tells him with all sincerity: “Never say ‘uwu’ again. Apologize right now.”

“I’m not sorry!” Mingyu laughs. His voice is a bit far from the mic, and it sounds like he’s in the car. “I knew you’d hate it.”

Wonwoo sits up in bed, grumbling. His eyes are still a little bleary as he blinks down at his phone, unfocused. “You’re annoying.”

“Did you just wake up?” Mingyu asks, voice sweet. Wonwoo yawns. “You sound sleepy.”

“Mmm, yeah.”

Mingyu hums. “Did you sleep well?” 

Ugh. His comforter is calling for him to lay back down. Wonwoo shrugs to himself. “It was fine.”

“Sleepy boy. Did you already see how many likes the ad has?” Mingyu’s voice is now less sweet, soft with a teasing quality to it. Wonwoo tries to not think about how Mingyu’s voice is always soft around him. 

“I did,” Wonwoo yawns again. “It’s a lot.”

“You’re famous,” Mingyu agrees easily. “Those clothes looked good on you, you should wear stuff like that more often.”

After a moment of contemplation, Wonwoo drags himself out of bed, putting the phone on speaker. Seollie wakes up from where she was sleeping at the foot of his bed and joins him as he pads out of his room, towards the kitchen. “Why, you don’t like my tracksuits?” Wonwoo asks. In fact, he is currently wearing a tracksuit. He looks in his hallway mirror and his hair sticks up in all directions. “Everyone is trying to make me more fashionable.”

Mingyu laughs. “It’s just nice to see. Your shoulders are so wide, you know. You should stop hiding them.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, and goes to get Seollie’s food to feed her. “Don’t start talking about my little waist next.”

“Aw, but I could go on and on about your little waist,” Mingyu teases.

Wonwoo grumbles, but ends up smiling. He pets Seollie behind the ears as she eats. “So I’ve heard.”

The conversation eventually shifts away from Wonwoo’s latest viral stint. Mingyu tells him about how his day has been so far. He had breakfast with Seokmin, and now he’s on the way to the gym before practice. Wonwoo tells him that he stayed up until 5 AM playing World of Warcraft, and Mingyu teases him about his streamer sleep schedule.

“You go to sleep when I’m supposed to wake up,” Mingyu teases.

Wonwoo glares, even though Mingyu can’t see him. “Don’t act like you wake up at 5 AM. I know you sleep like a rock.”

“I said when I’m supposed to wake up, hyung,” Mingyu’s lisp goes pouty, as it so often does. “What are you gonna make for breakfast?”

Wonwoo shrugs. “Eggs, if I don’t burn them.”

“Please tell me you don’t regularly burn eggs, hyung,” Mingyu sounds stressed just at the thought. 

“If you were a real fan, you would know that it’s the truth.”

Mingyu sighs, loud and dramatic. “I need to cook for you, you’re hopeless. I’ll make you whatever you want.”

“So bossy,” Wonwoo complains, digging a lone pan out of his cupboard and retrieving eggs from the fridge. “But if you come cook for me, I won’t complain..”

“I will,” Mingyu promises. 

Eventually, their conversation circles back around to the shoot, as the influx of attention on Wonwoo continues to assault his inbox. Wonwoo tells him about it, because Mingyu asks, and he can actually talk about it now that he’s out of the NDA. He tells him about the other outfits they tried on him at the prior consultation, which, yes, included a crop top. To his dismay. He’s just glad that it didn’t make it to the final outfit.

“I have a picture,” Wonwoo laughs. “I looked stupid.”

He did. He looks unnatural with his stomach and waist showing. Despite Soonyoung’s insistence that he rocks them, Wonwoo is actually well aware that that’s not the case. There’s no way that he looks as good in them as everyone says.

“Hmm. A crop top?” Mingyu asks slowly. Almost… contemplative. 

“Yes, Mingyu. A crop top.”

There’s a moment of pause. And then, “Hyung,” Mingyu says. He sounds oddly serious. “Please. Show me.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes but eventually compiles - because he is weak to Kim Mingyu’s existence, just for the record - digging through his camera roll to find it. After a bit of scrolling, he finds it and sends it to Mingyu over their Twitter DMs, along with the mirror selfie of him in the actual outfit from the shoot.

Ugh. He does look dumb in the crop top. His stomach doesn’t lay completely flat like it does for someone like Mingyu, either. He isn’t all hard lines, not when he’s a streamer who doesn’t work out.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Wonwoo says. “I look like an idiot.”

Wonwoo expects him to laugh, or reassure him in the way he always does, with a “hyung, don’t be silly,” but Mingyu says nothing for several moments. All Wonwoo hears is the background of traffic and the car engine rumbling. He picks up his phone and looks down at it, troubled.

“Mingyu…?” Wonwoo asks. “You okay?”

“Oh!” Mingyu says, like he wasn’t paying attention. Then, “Um, yeah, I am. You, uh, look good. In that photo.” His voice sounds strained.

Wonwoo narrows his eyes. Mingyu’s being weird. What’s wrong with- oh, wait.

Hold on.

“You looked at it? Aren’t you driving?”

“I only took a peek!” Mingyu promises, voice shrill. “I’m keeping my eyes on the road!”

“Don’t you dare crash your very expensive car because of me,” Wonwoo stresses, insecurities forgotten for now. “Also, that picture sucks so much, I’m only showing you because you’re such a big fan.”

Mingyu grumbles unintelligibly. Then, louder: “don’t say it looks bad, you look… good. Um. Really good.”

Neither of them say anything for a moment. Wonwoo sighs. 

“Well, don’t lie.”

“I’m not lying!” Mingyu sounds mildly stressed. “Don’t talk about my streamer like that!”

Ugh, this idiot. He’s so stupid and Wonwoo is way too fond of him. He lets out a relieved sigh. In a flat voice, Wonwoo says, “uh-huh.”

“Hey,” Mingyu barks out. “I am his number one fan and I am highly offended. The Gamer Boi I know looks good in a crop top.”

UGH. THIS IDIOT. Wonwoo finds himself blushing furiously. “Okay, shut up.”

“Talk shit again and I won’t,” Mingyu promises. “I take my position as number one fan very seriously.”

“Okay, okay. Fine. I believe you.”

With that, the momentary weirdness is forgotten, and they go back to their long-forgotten conversation that was derailed by the whole crop top fiasco. It’s nearing 1 PM and Wonwoo cooks his eggs slowly as they talk about anything and everything, despite the fact that they talked in the same manner just last night, before Mingyu went to bed. He salts his eggs and sits down to eat as Mingyu announces that he has arrived at the gym.

“Gotta go?” Wonwoo asks, taking a bite. Kind of burnt, but edible, which is the best he can manage in the kitchen.

“Yeah, sorry. Seungcheol hyung’s in a mood today and I don’t wanna be late,” Mingyu tells him, sounding apologetic. “I’ll call you later before you go live?”

Wonwoo hums. The calls have become a part of their daily routines now, and it’s nice to hear Mingyu encouraging them. Sometimes he gets worried that the fondness is all one-sided. “Sounds good. Have a good day, Mingyu-yah.”

You can hear the grin in Mingyu’s voice. “You too, hyung!”

Mingyu hangs up, and Wonwoo is left in the quiet of his apartment alone. He cleans his plate before stopping by the mirror again, taking in his haggard state. He takes a quick selfie - his hair is sticking up and his glasses are crooked on his face and his tracksuit is rumpled. It’s a perfect everyday look for Wonwoo, newly out of bed. Without thinking, he sends it to Mingyu.

A response comes almost immediately.

@min9yu_k: STOP

@min9yu_k: I ALMOST CRASHED MY CAR

@min9yu_k: WE GET IT YOURE HOT

Wonwoo stares down at his phone, a smile growing on his face. What is Mingyu going on about? Is he crazy?

@gam3rbo1: ??

@gam3rbo1: i took that just now

@min9yu_k: ugh you drive me crazy hyung -_-

@min9yu_k: you are awful for my safety

@gam3rbo1: ?!

@min9yu_k: be good for me and DONT send me selfies when im driving

Wonwoo looks at the selfie he sent. There’s nothing strange or abnormal about it. Nothing special to look at. It’s him right out of bed, sleepy and rumpled. Maybe Mingyu doesn’t like it?

He follows that train of thought for a moment, then remembers Mingyu’s reaction to the crop top picture. Maybe he’s just weird about things like this.

Be good for me, Mingyu’s message says, and it does something odd to Wonwoo’s stomach.

@gam3rbo1: sorry i forgot that youre insane. crazy man

@gam3rbo1: no more selfies o7

@min9yu_k: ONLY WHEN IM NOT DRIVING

@min9yu_k: otherwise pls send them actually ^_^

@gam3rbo1: ooh you are such a big fan. you have a folder dont u

@min9yu_k: yeah 

@min9yu_k: so keep sending em

@gam3rbo1: youre a freak

@min9yu_k: :P i know

@gam3rbo1: -_-

@gam3rbo1: maybe i’ll send more. but probably not

@min9yu_k: …….

@min9yu_k: dont make me beg

Wonwoo laughs to himself.

@gam3rbo1: better start begging then

@min9yu_k: HYUNG T_T

-

“Oh, you will not get enough of this,” Soonyoung says immediately after he joins in the group server VC, effectively cutting off Wonwoo’s conversation with Chan. So much for their discussion on how they should run comp strats in Valorant, since it is now apparently Soonyoung’s time to be the center of attention.

“Is it stream appropriate?” Chan asks. Soonyoung ignores him.

“Do we have to?” Wonwoo asks, and is also ignored.

“‘Kim Mingyu and Wonwoo from Twitch are the two best friends we never knew we needed,’” Soonyoung reads aloud. “Straight off the press from Buzzfeed, you’re welcome. Thoughts?”

Wonwoo stares at Discord, confused, and then it sets in. Oh. That’s an article headline.

“You’re lying!” Chan exclaims. “That’s so funny.”

Wonwoo buries his face in his hands. Chat is as active as ever, enjoying his torment. 

“You and golden boy are the new duo!” Soonyoung says, probably to rub it in his face. “Don’t forget about us little guys while you roll in gold over there with your puppy.”

Okay, ew. Wonwoo grimaces. “Let’s not say that.”

“Agreed.”

“I already sent it to Mingyu,” Soonyoung continues, ignoring their obvious displeasure, which is a habit of his. “He said, and I quote, ‘poggers.’”

Chan laughs loudly in his mic. Wonwoo looks at chat in despair as the LOLs and KEKEKEs roll in. “I told him to stop saying that, he sounds like an idiot,” Wonwoo grumbles. “God, I’m going insane.”

wonus_wife: oh theyre so married?? HELLLOOOOOO???

pupcentral: AINT NOTHING STRAIGHT ABOUT THIS

call_me_wonu: yall need mental help (no but they have to be dating right)

time_for_wonu: historians will call them best friends. but we know better.

Somehow, despite the fact that the majority of his fanbase is attracted to him, his viewers have all united together for the sole purpose of shipping him and Mingyu. The homophobia gets deleted immediately, and Wonwoo hasn’t told his mods to ban stuff about shipping (besides the sexual stuff, which is a given), so chat is flooded with questions about when they’re getting married and if they’re dating.

It’s a disaster.

“‘They’re best friends’ is trending on Twitter right now,” Chan supplies unhelpfully. “And so is ‘Minwon,’ which is your new ship name.”

Soonyoung cheers, because he’s a monster. “The article thinks that your bromance is super cute, Wonwoo. They think that you could win couple of the year.”

Couple of the year, his ass. Everyone just likes to see Wonwoo miserable. There is nothing romantic between them, nor is there any reason for the public to encourage them. There are only platonic happenings with Mingyu and Wonwoo, and he will die on this hill if he has to.

“So you all want me dead,” he says to chat in a flat voice. “You want me to suffer.”

As expected, they say YES back to him in waves.

Great. His life is ruined.

-

Wonwoo is minding his own goddamn business when he gets a call from Jun, which is a bad sign. Because while Soonyoung may be the one who is outright in his meddling, Jun is just as guilty for trying to dig his grubby little fingers in Wonwoo’s business.

He’s half convinced that they’ve only been friends for so long because he’s a source of prime entertainment to them.

“What do you want?” Wonwoo answers, already unhappy. 

“Are you busy tonight?” Jun asks, not engaging in Wonwoo’s sour mood. “There’s a party, your boy will be there, I am going to get drunk.”

Wonwoo blinks. That’s a lot to take in at once, which is typical of Jun.

“A party?” He asks dumbly. “My b- Mingyu’s gonna be there?”

“The very same,” Jun agrees. “I heard from a little birdy that the National team knows their way around a keg.”

Wonwoo pauses. Oh no.

“You did not buy a keg.”

Jun laughs. “My dear Wonu, there is a keg sitting in my living room right now.”

Wonwoo is horrified by the image of South Korea’s National Men’s Volleyball team using a keg, but he also can’t say that it wouldn’t make perfect sense for them. Despite the four differing personalities, it is so easy to imagine them as college frat boys.

“Please tell me that Minghao doesn’t know about it.”

“You and I both know that it was Minghao’s idea,” Jun says, which is exactly what Wonwoo feared. “Will Gamer Boi be joining us tonight?”

As much as Wonwoo wants to see Mingyu - and he does, he really does - he has a sponsored stream tonight. And also he would rather lay at home, motionless in his bed, than be a part of a party that involves a keg and rowdy, drunk, volleyball players. Yes, they’re all mostly friends, but it just goes against Wonwoo’s social limits.

(He was a very lame college student.)

Wonwoo sighs. “Gamer Boi will not be joining. Nvidia is paying me big bucks to promote their new CPU.”

“Ah,” Jun says. Oddly enough, he sounds overjoyed, probably now glad that they can grill Mingyu all they want without Wonwoo’s interference. “Unfortunate. I will keep your boy safe.” 

Before Wonwoo can say anything else, Jun immediately hangs up.

Hey. What the fuck?

Wonwoo stares down at his phone, half relieved and half offended that his decline went over so well. Usually the other guys fight him tooth and nail to go out, even when they know that he doesn’t want to. It’s a mild point of contention between them, because their friend group is mostly introverts, but they still like to party. Whereas, Wonwoo does not.

Maybe the loss of the lamest guy of the group is subdued by the appearance of four more guys who can party much, much harder.

Ugh. Oh well. Wonwoo lets it go. It’s nice to see their group expanding to the volleyball guys anyhow, because they usually keep to themselves (besides Seungkwan’s “networking,” which is another thing altogether). They’ve all been friends since high school, so it’s been well over ten years since there’s been any additions to the group, if you don’t count the various girlfriends and boyfriends from over the years.

It’s a shame to miss out on seeing Mingyu. As much as Wonwoo doesn’t want to admit it to anyone but himself, he’s getting more and more attached to Mingyu by the day. He wants to see him all the time, actually. It doesn’t help that Mingyu knows more about him than any viewer or casual friend of his knows, by a fair lot. He’s told Mingyu about the downsides of his career, the pressure of T1, the loss of his mom. He’s been much more vulnerable to Mingyu than he has to anyone else, even including his friends, who have just come to know things over the years.

But to Mingyu, Wonwoo feels himself opening up so easily. And honestly, it’s scaring him shitless.

He knows that he’s getting too close, too attached. When they talk, Wonwoo always manages to forget that Mingyu is really just a fan. He forgets that Mingyu is The Kim Mingyu, future of Korean Olympics and well-loved by everyone. Too fast, Mingyu has become something precious, something different from everyone else in his life. He’s falling too far, too hard, too fast.

It’s terrifying. But despite that all, he can’t stop himself from talking to Mingyu as much as he can. He is just so inexplicably drawn to the other man, addicted to his presence.

Wonwoo is self aware enough to acknowledge that he’s teetering on a thin line between practicality and delusion. He’s becoming unreasonable, slowly, when it comes to Mingyu. His own boundaries are being thrown away in the face of Mingyu’s existence, despite the fact that Wonwoo has abided by them for years, to the point of obsession.

He’s becoming too weak, too impractical, too lenient, and everyone knows it.

He’s nearing the point of no return. He knows that if he turns back now, maybe he could escape without getting hurt. Maybe he wouldn’t be so deeply attached if he ran away now. Maybe he could save his own feelings.

If he keeps going, there’s no chance of that happening. If he keeps going, he’ll get hurt. If he gets closer, there’s no way he’ll come out the other side unscathed.

But even so. Even so. Wonwoo can’t leave now, not when Mingyu is so perfect and so close. So willing to be close to him. The only person who has ever wanted to be so close to him.

You’re doomed, the voice in his head says.

He knows. 

-

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

everyone who thinks @gam3rbo1 should let me stream with him pls like this tweet. i’m trying to do something <3

> 92k LIKES

-

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @ming9yu_k

WHY

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @ming9yu_k and @gam3rbo1

the people have spoken

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @ming9yu_k and @gam3rbo1

KIM MINGYU.

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @ming9yu_k and @gam3rbo1

hyung~~~

WONU @gam3rbo1

In reply to @ming9yu_k and @gam3rbo1

Im never forgiving you.

-

A familiar obnoxious gray Porsche pulls up to the curb where Wonwoo is waiting, and he’s met with the sight of Mingyu’s wide grin as he rolls down the window.

“Hyung!” Mingyu calls. “Have you been waiting long?”

Wonwoo shakes his head, hopping into the passenger seat. He’s close to Mingyu, now, they’re in close proximity again. Mingyu’s smile is blinding up close. “It’s only been a few minutes, don’t worry about it.”

Mingyu leans in to knock his shoulder against Wonwoo’s, and then they drive off.

Today, they’re going to Minghao’s art exhibit, which is cool because Wonwoo had no idea that Minghao was an artist. It’s a collab between him and one of their other friends, Joshua, who does pottery. Wonwoo doesn’t know shit about art, so he’s relatively excited.

Now, it’s kind of embarrassing when he remembers telling Minghao about Mingyu being his fan back at the finals game, because he didn’t know, then, that Minghao and Mingyu are literally best friends. The good thing is that Minghao doesn’t tease him about it, whereas any of his other friends would.

“Have you seen the exhibit before?” Wonwoo asks, finding a song to play when Mingyu hands him the aux cord. He settles on IU, because everyone loves IU.

“I was waiting to see it with you,” Mingyu says, sending him a sideways glance. His ears are pink and he rubs the back of his neck with one hand.

Cute, Wonwoo thinks, and then says, “that’s nice.”

Mingyu laughs. “I was supposed to go to the opening, but I had a photoshoot, so I couldn’t go. I haven’t seen Shua hyung’s work in a while, so I’m happy that we’re going together.”

Wonwoo hums, looking out the window. “I’m happy too.”

The drive goes by quickly, as the two of them talk about their day. Well, mostly Mingyu’s day, because he’s always out doing something. The only thing Wonwoo has done today is wake up, have breakfast, and have a crisis over picking out an outfit - not that he tells Mingyu that. It took a long time and nearly crying to pick out his jeans, button up, and cardigan. 

Soonyoung had said the outfit makes you look like a total nerd, but maybe Mingyu’s into that, and Wonwoo got hung up on him before he could get proper feedback.

The gallery is in some hip place in Hongdae with big, glass windows and a name in fancy cursive English letters. After they park, Mingyu leads him inside by the elbow and Wonwoo immediately feels out of place. Everyone there is effortlessly cool, in unique outfits. In stark contrast, Wonwoo looks like he belongs in a college library. Everyone else looks like they go to galleries for fun and discuss art theory and look down on loser Twitch streamers whose only accomplishment is that he’s hit masters on League for the past eight years.

“Hyung,” Mingyu says quietly, slipping a hand on the small of Wonwoo’s back. “You okay?”

Wonwoo blinks up at him. The weight on his back is grounding. Mingyu is pressed close to him, warm against his side, eyes looking directly down at Wonwoo’s. It should be overwhelming to be so close to Mingyu, the object of his every affection, but it’s instead… nice. Wonwoo feels more like himself when Mingyu presses close to him, looking at him like there’s nothing else in the world.

“Um,” Wonwoo says as Mingyu’s gaze on him softens. “I’m okay. I just feel a little bit out of place.”

Mingyu’s eyes flit around them, thankfully not making a scene about it, and then makes eye contact with Wonwoo again. He grins. “I guess it’s a little pretentious, isn’t it?”

Wonwoo manages a smile. “You blend right in.”

“I guess I do,” Mingyu wraps his arm fully around Wonwoo’s waist. We look like a couple, one part of Wonwoo’s brain says dazedly while another part panickedly says WE LOOK LIKE A COUPLE?!?  

“Come on, we’ll be quick.”

Wonwoo feels himself be led by Mingyu’s grip on him, moving further into the gallery. All he can do is blink up at Mingyu, feeling nothing but the arm around his waist. “Uh, okay.”

Luckily, no one gives them any weird looks. Hopefully art spaces are progressive enough to overlook two grown men walking around with barely an inch of space between them. Wonwoo still feels out of place, but it would be a lie to say that having Kim Mingyu, who is effortlessly fashionable and handsome, at his side doesn’t make him feel a bit better. After all, no one questions a guy like Mingyu - he is the tallest and biggest guy in every room they walk into, and it’s hard to hate him with a face like that.

Wonwoo tries with his whole being to not blush bright red as Mingyu steers him around the gallery. He points out Minghao’s art and Joshua’s pottery. He knows a lot about the different pieces, and he says sometimes he just watches Minghao paint. Mingyu talks to him in his soft, low voice, and Wonwoo listens to every word intently.

“What do you think this one’s about?” Mingyu asks him as they stand in front of one of Minghao’s paintings. It has strokes of blues and grays surrounding a dark figure in the center.

Wonwoo squints. “I dunno. Loneliness?”

Mingyu shrugs. “Yeah, something like that. Minghao doesn’t tell me about their meanings.”

It’s almost fun to walk around, speculating on different meanings of the art. There’s a charcoal portrait of what looks to be Jun, titled “home.”

“Because they’re roommates, surely,” Mingyu guesses. “I’m gonna draw Seokmin and call it ‘home.’”

“He made Jun look so pretty,” Wonwoo observes. “He’s actually way more evil-looking in real life.”

Mingyu laughs, and several people send them looks for being loud. Wonwoo bows in apology, though grinning as Mingyu squeezes his side. 

Joshua’s pottery is very abstract, and neither of them have any clue what any of it means. There’s a vase with a ceramic hand coming out of it, and they both look at it, confused, for several minutes. By the end of the gallery, they have both given up on trying to decipher Joshua’s work. Although Minghao is aloof, his work makes much more sense.

“Did you like it?” Mingyu asks as they leave, after they both took pictures to post to their socials. It’ll make you look cultured, come on, is the phrasing Mingyu used in order to convince him to take some.

Wonwoo hums. “Yeah, it was nice. Sorry for freaking out, I don’t go outside of my comfort zone much.”

Mingyu frowns and pinches his cheek. Ouch. “Don’t apologize. I thought it was stuffy in there too.”

For lunch, they go to some hole-in-the-wall tonkatsu place. Wonwoo had mentioned wanting pork cutlets, and Mingyu immediately had a place in mind. He’s even friendly with the owner, and Wonwoo raises his eyebrows when they get a bottle of soju on the house.

“You’re not a day drinker?” Mingyu teases him.

Wonwoo kicks him under the table. 

Lunch is nice. The food is good. It’s even better since he’s with Mingyu, which is a thought so cheesy that Wonwoo’s cheeks go red. He tries not to feel like he’s on a date, because he is not dating Mingyu.

Nor will he ever. But especially not right now.

Mingyu makes fun of him for taking tiny bites of his rice, which is offensive since Mingyu literally inhales food like a vacuum. Like Kirby, Wonwoo points out, and Mingyu puts a hand to his chest, offended. Good. They end up wrestling for the check, and Wonwoo only wins because he points out how large Mingyu’s arms are compared to his own with a pout. It’s a cutesy act that would leave anyone else disgusted, but Mingyu falls for it. Hard. His face goes red and Wonwoo cheers, undefeated.

Heh. Idiot.

They take a walk on the way back to the car and run into one of Wonwoo’s fans. Mingyu is way too delighted to take a picture of Wonwoo and the teenage girl, who is about half their size. She calls him “Gamer Boi-ssi”, which reminds him painfully of a specific someone who called him the same, and Wonwoo finds himself to be in a great mood from there on.

“Ready to go home?” Mingyu asks him as they get into the car. 

Wonwoo frowns. “Ugh. Not really. I don’t wanna stream tonight.”

Mingyu laughs. His canines poke out. Wonwoo wants to pinch his cheek. “Just do it for me. I want something to watch at the gym later.”

God, Mingyu knows just what to say to get him to cave in. It’s exploitative. “Fine,” Wonwoo says. “But only for you, no one else.”

It’s something ridiculously soft to say to someone who is theoretically just a friend slash fan, but Mingyu’s smile is blinding.

“Thank you, hyung.” 

It gives him butterflies in his stomach, despite the fact that he is soon to be approaching his 30s.

After a long drive of being stuck in traffic, Mingyu drops him off at his apartment building. Wonwoo wishes he could invite him up, but Mingyu has to go to the gym ASAP. He doesn’t have a day off from training, not fully, so they were lucky that they got to spend so much time together today.

“Stay safe, Mingyu-yah. Eyes on the road,” Wonwoo leans against the car. “I’ll call you before stream, okay?”

Mingyu salutes. “Aye aye, hyung. Have a good night.”

They exchange smiles before Wonwoo forces himself to turn around and head into his building. Mingyu doesn’t pull away from the curb until he’s inside, he realizes giddily, which is textbook boyfriend behavior.

“What a good friend you have!” An ahjumma says to him as he passes by her. “What a polite boy.”

Wonwoo blushes furiously. Yes, what a good friend he has.

-

WONU @gam3rbo1

fine. ill stream with mingyu but im not happy about it.

-

KIM MINGYU @min9yu_k

In reply to @gam3rbo1

<33333

-

“That was a date!” Soonyoung yells into the mic. “You literally just went on a date.”

“Shut up,” Wonwoo groans. “It wasn’t.”

This has been a main point of contention between the friend group recently: whether or not Wonwoo has been going on dates with Kim Mingyu. Which he hasn’t, by the way.

“Sounds like a date,” Chan mutters. “Lunch and a show is date material.”

“Don’t even,” Wonwoo complains. 

His friends just can’t seem to grasp the fact that Wonwoo is not going to date Mingyu. He’s not even sure if Mingyu likes him any more than Mingyu likes, say, Seokmin. They are best friends, after all, according to the internet. And best friends do not go on dates, even if said not-dates include very date-y activities.

“They’re hangouts,” is his only defense, and he abides by it no matter how weak his resolve becomes. 

“They’re hangouts, except he’s in love with you,” Soonyoung points out. “Wonwoo, let’s be honest. He is in love with you.”

Which… is…erm. Not true. He’s pretty sure.

“He asks for selfies and you call every night and says you look good,” Chan says. “You have never said that I look good.”

“No, I’ve only said that you look like a cutie patootie with a cherry on top,” Wonwoo solemnly agrees. “But Mingyu is different. He does that with everybody.”

To be honest… the more he says it, the less he believes it.

“I’m going to call Seokmin and ask if Mingyu asks him for selfies,” Soonyoung announces suddenly. “Because I already know what the answer is gonna be.”

“Stop, they’re at practice!” Wonwoo panics.

“Seokmin knows how to be subtle,” Soonyoung defends.

They all fall silent, knowing that that is a lie.

“Okay, well maybe not,” Chan suggests. “But, I mean, it’s true. Seungkwan and Mingyu talk all the time and Mingyu isn’t complimenting him on every tweet for all of us to see.”

The idea of Mingyu doing what he does with Wonwoo with Seungkwan… it makes something in his stomach rear its ugly head. Something ugly and mean and bitter, something Wonwoo has never felt before.

Jealousy, he realizes belatedly.

Oh no. He cannot be jealous over Seungkwan, who was born from his own hypothetical womb, as far as anyone is aware. Wonwoo makes a noise unlike anything they’ve ever heard, sounding vaguely like he’s dying.

“Great, Chan, you broke him,” Soonyoung says, annoyed.

“Hyung, did you just die?” Chan asks shrilly.

“Mingyu does not like me,” Wonwoo declares in an unsteady voice, despite the fact that his own belief in what he’s saying on the matter is shrinking by the second. His brain unhelpfully provides him with an array of memories - Mingyu’s blush, his pink ears, the shy hand on the back of his neck. His hand on Wonwoo’s waist, the fond look, his soft voice. The way he is big and giant and rowdy with everyone, but holds Wonwoo so gently. Like he’s something to be treasured.

No. Surely not.

“Well, how about we backtrack,” Soonyoung suggests. “Do you think he’s your fan because he likes video games? Or because he likes your face?”

Oh. Well.

“Um,” Wonwoo says. “Uh.”

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, all evidence points to the latter. Mingyu has complimented him at every opportunity, has praised his looks time and time again. Mingyu has complimented his video game playing ability before, sure, but it’s not like Mingyu is an e-sports stan - he’s only a gam3rbo1 stan. It dawns on Wonwoo so suddenly, before he even realizes.

The fucking crop top picture. His reaction.

The awkwardness wasn’t from him lying. It was from attraction?!

“Oh no,” Wonwoo says. “Fuck.”

“Oh yes,” Soonyoung says. “You’ve finally realized.”

Horrified. That’s the only way to describe how he feels. Mingyu likes him - he likes Wonwoo. In maybe even a romantic way? He likes him possibly in the way that Wonwoo likes him?! He likes him.

Mingyu, who falls asleep to his voice and watches every stream and laughs at all of Wonwoo’s horrible jokes. Who likes the way he looks in glasses and leads him gently by the elbow and owns his merch. Who is maybe the most handsome person in the world but spends all of his free time with Wonwoo, who is plain and boring and only popular because he had way too much free time during the 2020 Covid quarantine.

Wonwoo feels faint.

“You okay, hyung?” Chan asks. “Is this, like, world shattering for you?”

Yes, what the fuck? Of course it is.

“I am being perfectly normal right now,” is what Wonwoo says. “I am unaffected.”

Soonyoung laughs, loud and abrasive, because he’s evil with a capital E. “Oh, listen to him, Channie. He’s fucked!”

Chapter Text

It’s a Saturday night and they’re out at a bar. Bass thumps throughout the building as Chan and Soonyoung dominate the dance floor: Jun and Wonwoo watch over the table, as it’s their designated jobs as the “lame losers” (Soonyoung’s words, of course) of the group.

“I think Mingyu might like me back,” Wonwoo says thoughtfully, taking a sip of his beer.

Jun pauses, blinks, and then looks at him with disdain. “Jesus, Wonwoo. I’m way too sober for this.” 

It’s been several days since the Realization, and Wonwoo is doing… fine. For the most part. Nothing in his life has changed, not really, besides the fact that he now pays more attention to the soft edge of Mingyu’s voice when they call. It’s easy to sink into, the softness that Mingyu feels for him, but that’s also the most terrifying part of this whole thing.

He watches as Jun downs a shot, and then nods. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“Hmm,” Wonwoo fiddles with a hoodie string. Jun is the easiest to talk to out of all of them, when he’s not being a little menace. He also notices much more than he lets on, which is why he hasn’t left Wonwoo's side tonight, except to go piss or get more drinks. Not that anyone could have possibly missed the obvious contemplation that's been on Wonwoo’s face the past few days. “He just looks at me like he loves me, you know?”

Jun nods. “Yes. We all know.”

This is what we’ve been telling you this whole time, is what goes unsaid. He’s glad that no one has actually voiced that (yet), because Wonwoo really doesn’t need any more reminders that he is, in fact, dense as hell.

(But he knows that if this goes on much longer, Seungkwan will be rubbing it in his face with I TOLD YOU SO and HYUNG, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME. Ugh. He’s such a know-it-all.)

“Well, it’s kind of a lot to handle,” Wonwoo says. There’s an edge to his voice that’s something timid, which is pretty unusual for him. But Kim Mingyu has the tendency to cause Wonwoo to behave pretty unusually. 

“Mingyu’s heart?” Jun asks.

Wonwoo sighs, tired. “All of it.”

Lengthy discussions don’t have to pass between the two of them for Jun to understand. Wonwoo is chronically unromantic, and he hasn’t felt butterflies in his stomach since he was maybe 22. They all know this, Jun especially, who has always handled Wonwoo’s unsure heart with the trepidation it needs.

“Most people-” Jun begins, putting an emphasis on most. Because despite his claims that he is normal, Wonwoo is not like most people. “-would be overjoyed right now, you know. The person they like likes them back.”

It’s true. Wonwoo frowns. 

“You already know what I’m going to say.”

“He’s just a fan, huh?” Jun gives him a tired look. “You sure are relentless, you know.”

He is, huh. He’s carved a home for himself in this argument, at this point, and everyone is tired of it. But Wonwoo’s heart is a timid, fragile thing, and the walls that he has around himself are specifically designed to protect it. Kim Mingyu has bypassed all of his walls from the start, looking past Wonwoo’s dry sarcasm and cold expression to see him shaking inside. 

Saying that it’s a lot to handle is putting it mildly.

“He doesn’t really know me,” Wonwoo reasons, even though Mingyu does. “He just likes me because I’m his streamer,” which sounds like a lie even to his own ears.

“Oh, Wonwoo,” Jun sighs. “You love him.”

Wonwoo looks down at his drink. He doesn’t even register the chaos of the bar around him, just the way that the ice clinks against the sides of the glass. No one has approached them tonight with a camera or a smile or an “are you Gamer Boi?”, which Wonwoo is endlessly grateful for. He knows that he looks pathetic like this, small and unsure in the face of the idea of being loved. Truly, really loved.

Love is such a strong word. But he doesn’t just like Mingyu, does he? He can’t even lie to himself about that.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo says.

A moment passes, where neither of them say anything. Only then, does Jun speak. 

“I’m not going to be overbearing,” Jun says gently, in only the way that Jun can be. “But you know that he’d be good for you.”

He would be. He wouldn’t just be good, he would be perfect. He would love Wonwoo, he would. Wonwoo’s heart clenches.

“I think he’s too good for me.”

Jun frowns and takes a sip of his drink. “You’re the only one who thinks that, you know.”

Oh, Wonwoo knows. He knows that his friends grow tired, sometimes, of the way that Wonwoo finds flaws within himself that probably never existed until he created them just for the sole purpose of having something to despise. Anyone would grow tired of it. Even Seungkwan, who is the epitome of self criticism (despite what he says), scolds him regularly for not valuing himself.

Pot, meet kettle, he could say. But that would be cruel.

He has this complex about his fame, still, of not being deserving of it. Despite how hard he worked for T1, despite how hard he has worked over the past 10 years, despite how hard he always works. But there is Wonwoo, who sits at his computer all day and is still too scared to tell his viewers anything beyond surface level about himself. And then there’s someone like Mingyu, who spends hours at the gym everyday, who is the pride of Korean athletics, who has everyone in the nation fawning over his very existence.

Someone like Wonwoo would only bring someone like Mingyu down. The connect isn’t there.

“He’s a fan,” Wonwoo says - no, insists. Not quite desperate, but something else entirely. Because this is always what he returns to, at the end of the day, to protect himself. The fact that Mingyu is just another one of his 8 million followers, in the grand scheme of things. “Jun. He’s a fan.”

Jun smiles at him, and it’s almost pitiful. “I know.”

It’s okay, Jun doesn’t say, because it’s not.

You’re going to fuck yourself over, Jun doesn’t say, because he is.

What will you do when Mingyu wants more? Jun doesn’t say, because Wonwoo is scared shitless at the idea.

Jun just reaches over the back of the seat, arm around Wonwoo’s shoulders. Not squeezing him tight or anything, just there. A solid weight. Wonwoo’s eyes fall down to the ground, right at his shoes. He stares at the way light reflects off the surface of them, wishing he could sink into the cushy seat of the booth and disappear forever.

-

Jeon Wonwoo is an idiot. Which is why he ignores everybody’s concerns about his current mental state, and allows Mingyu to come over to cook for him.

“Hyung, have you been sleeping?” Is the first thing Mingyu says when Wonwoo answers the door, which does not bode well for his self esteem. “You look…”

“...Like shit?” Wonwoo smiles. He’s tired. He hasn’t been sleeping, not really, not when he’s plagued by the images of Mingyu’s blush and the feeling of a hand on his elbow.

Mingyu winces, face scrunched up. “Not what I was gonna say.”

Wonwoo laughs despite himself. 

Mingyu carries in two grocery bags, both of which are suspiciously full. Wonwoo is certain that that much food isn’t necessary, not when it’s one meal, but Mingyu always has the tendency to… go overboard, you could say. He does everything to the maximum, like paying for their not-dates and driving Wonwoo everywhere and tuning in to every stream, refusing to miss even one. 

“Please tell me that that’s just for one meal,” Wonwoo says after Mingyu carefully toes off his shoes, leading him to the kitchen. 

Mingyu is grinning. “Nope. I’m making everything you could ever want, hyung.”

Ugh. He’s perfect. Everything you could ever want, hyung, he says. Having no idea that all Wonwoo wants is him, really.

Wonwoo’s ears burn hot and he tries not to stare at that grin any longer. 

“Well, here it is,” he announces lamely as they enter the kitchen. “Um. This is my kitchen.”

Mingyu nods, looking satisfied. “This is a nice set up, hyung, it's a shame that you never use it.”

Wonwoo sends him a glare, and Mingyu only laughs. “I make ramyeon all the time,” he says. “I have cooked before, one time or another. I’m pretty sure.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Mingyu apologizes, though his voice is cheery and bright. “I’ll behave now. No teasing.”

Wonwoo gives him a steely look. “You better.”

He watches as Mingyu takes literal pots and pans out of his backpack (though he’s secretly relieved, because he only has one (1) pot and one (1) pan to his name, but no one needs to know that), and immediately gets to work with prepping vegetables on a cutting board that he gets from, you guessed it, his backpack.

“You didn’t even look for my cutting board,” Wonwoo accuses. 

Mingyu doesn’t look up from his work, but he’s smiling. “Hyung, we both know that you don’t have a cutting board.”

Okay, maybe he’s right, but c’mon. He should at least act like Wonwoo is a functional adult. 

“Ugh,” Wonwoo expresses, but says nothing. Mingyu is still grinning. 

He puts on music for Mingyu to work to, as he sits at the counter and watches him work with rapt attention. Mingyu is wearing a sleeveless shirt (is he a whore or what?) and loose shorts, both of which show off his muscles. The display of tan skin is already a lot as it is, and the addition of Mingyu’s biceps is almost too much. 

Almost. Wonwoo isn’t complaining.

Mingyu looks natural in Wonwoo’s kitchen, like he belongs there, and it’s nearly enough to send him into daydreaming about his delusions. Like a future where Mingyu makes them breakfast in the morning as Seollie chases them into the kitchen. Or something ridiculous and fantastical like that.

Fuck. He’s doomed. 

“You wanna help, or are you just gonna sit there and look pretty?” Mingyu asks eventually, after a couple minutes of Wonwoo watching him do everything. 

So I’m pretty? Wonwoo wants to say, but he holds his tongue. 

“Do I have to?” Is what Wonwoo says instead. He knows that he’s exploiting one of Mingyu’s weak points, since he’s so hellbent on providing all the damn time. “I thought you wanted to cook for me.”

Sure enough, it works. Mingyu perks up like a puppy who just got a treat, eyes wide. Call Wonwoo lazy all you want. He is not cutting vegetables. 

“Okay, fine, since you love being spoiled so much,” Mingyu says like Wonwoo has done him a great disservice, but his face looks overjoyed. “Just sit there and tell me about your morning and I’ll do all of the hard work.”

Wonwoo bites his lip to keep from smiling. Mingyu is such a simple minded guy. 

He tells Mingyu about the breakfast he got with Chan at a nearby cafe, and how they have a subathon coming up. He talks about how since it’s his day off, he doesn’t want to do anything but catch up on watching League matches, eat food, and cuddle with Seollie. He stayed up pretty late last night for a stream, so it’s been a slow day. Wonwoo didn’t even bother to dress up today, since all they’re doing is hanging at home. He’s in a soft sweater and sweatpants.

Mingyu tells him that he looks good, anyhow, despite the dark circles. Wonwoo snorts out a laugh.

He loves you, his brain reminds him, and he guesses that it sort of makes sense now.

Mingyu is juggling making kimchi fried rice, samgyeopsal, seafood jeon, japchae, and various side dishes. All at once. He says it’s for Wonwoo to eat throughout the week. “Are you gonna cook for me every week, then?” Wonwoo teases him, and Mingyu only smiles earnestly.

“If you let me, yeah.”

(He should’ve seen that one coming.)

It should be odd to have Mingyu here, in his home, but it’s not. Mingyu fits right in, like he’s always been here, and tugs on Wonwoo’s heart strings. He can so easily imagine Mingyu always being here, all of the time. It’s an image that just feels right. But Wonwoo has already set his own boundaries of what their relationship can ever be, and there’s no room in it for Mingyu to always be around. Not if things are supposed to be platonic, anyways.

So he squashes that fantasy like a bug under his foot.

“Almost done,” Mingyu sing-songs as he pets Seollie under the chin while waiting for the food to finish cooking. She has taken to Mingyu well - too well - and loves him. Like father, like daughter, you could say. It runs in the family. “Hyung, can you set the table?”

Wonwoo pretends to grumble about it, but listens anyway. He can nag at him later.

He gets out two bowls and two sets of chopsticks and spoons. The kitchen smells heavenly, and Wonwoo obediently stands by with the dishes ready as Mingyu deems the rice and the samgyeopsal to be ready for them to eat. He serves both of them and shoos Wonwoo away to go sit down, joining him after he finishes putting sesame seeds on the japchae.

“Try it,” Mingyu nudges him with his foot underneath the table. Wonwoo sends him a quick glance, double checking that the smile on Mingyu’s face is as hopeful as he fears it is, and then promptly digs in.

Oh. Oh. This shit’s good.

Wonwoo looks at Mingyu through narrowed eyes as he takes a small bite of fried rice, suspicious. What can’t this man do? It’s starting to get a little scary.

“Well?” Mingyu asks expectantly. If he had a tail, it’d be wagging. “Do you like it?”

Wonwoo makes a show of chewing and swallowing. “Yeah, it’s really good. How do you do that?”

Mingyu’s smile goes from hopeful to overjoyed. He’s just so… puppy-like. Wonwoo fights the instinct to pat his head. He responds so well to praise, he would probably love that.

“I taught myself how to cook in college, and on weekends I’d open up my dorm room and feed whoever,” Mingyu explains, foot tapping Wonwoo’s under the table. “I just really enjoy it. I make lunch for some of the guys on the team when we aren’t on restrictions.”

Wonwoo makes a face. “Dieting should be a crime.”

Mingyu laughs. “Well, 2 AM ramyeon isn’t exactly good for an Olympian. Not that you would know.”

He dodges when Wonwoo tries to curb stomp him from underneath the table, laughing when Wonwoo’s face scrunches up in displeasure. The joy on Mingyu’s face is so open, so earnest, it’s hard to really be mad at him for anything. The fondness he holds for Wonwoo is so blatant and obvious, it makes him wonder how he’s managed to miss it over these past few months.

You’re just an idiot, his brain supplies. Wonwoo tells his brain to fuck off.

Mingyu mostly just watches with a fond expression as Wonwoo eats and eats. He’s never had such an enjoyable meal in his own kitchen before, not unless it was takeout or something Jun made (which, even then, happens rarely). In fact, Wonwoo is so pleased with the outcome of the meal, that he doesn’t even protest when Mingyu packs up all the food and puts it into his pathetically barren fridge. He doesn’t scold him for working too hard or spoiling him, just lets himself sink into his chair as the food coma hits.

“You look so happy,” Mingyu coos. “Like a little cat.”

Wonwoo has his eyes closed and doesn’t even bite back. “Mhmm.”

It doesn’t help that Mingyu runs a hand over his back, rubbing gently. It feels… nice. Just so, so nice. “You look like you need a nap,” Mingyu says eventually. Wonwoo just nods, agreeable.

“Nap time?”

“Mmm. Nap time.”

Mingyu cleans up their dishes, then tugs Wonwoo up into a standing position. “If this is all it takes to get you to be so nice to me, I would’ve cooked for you ages ago,” Mingyu decides as he drags Wonwoo towards the living room.

Wonwoo frowns, steadying himself with Mingyu’s hand on the small of his back. “I’m nice. I’m nice to you.”

Mingyu tuts. “No, you’re mean.”

“You’re the only one I’m nice to.”

Mingyu hums, sitting them both down on the couch. Wonwoo goes down easily, cuddling into a pillow and curling up. “The only person you’re nice to is Chan, hyung. You always tell me that I’m stupid.”

Wonwoo laughs to himself. “Well, you are.”

“See?” Mingyu says, offended. “You’re not nice to me. You’re evil.” He takes a throw blanket from the back of the couch and lays it over Wonwoo, who snuggles into it. Mingyu tucks it around him tightly, and it’s like Wonwoo’s in a cocoon. Damn, he’s really going to fall asleep at this rate. “My streamer is evil.”

“Shut up. You already know that you’re my favorite,” Wonwoo sleepily blinks up at him.

Mingyu is grinning. He takes off Wonwoo’s glasses and pokes him in the cheek. “Yes, hyung. Go to sleep.”

And, well. It’s not like he’s ever been strong when it comes to denying Mingyu’s requests. He closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, sinking into the couch cushions.

“Anything for my favorite fan.”

Mingyu laughs, hand running over Wonwoo’s shoulder, and he falls asleep like that.

-

Wonwoo wakes up hours later to a dark living room. Mingyu must’ve put the newest T1 match on the TV, because he sits up and puts his glasses on just as Faker gets an ace on the big screen. There’s a note on the coffee table.

Hyung! Sorry for leaving - I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so cozy. I have to go to the gym and hit the hay early for practice. Call me when you wake up, okay? And enjoy the leftovers ^_^ 

• Mingyu

He grins like an idiot as he traces over the hangul of Mingyu’s name. When he wanders into the kitchen, it’s spotless, like nothing was ever there to begin with. No dishes in the sink, even. Yet, his fridge is now full, so there’s proof it wasn’t a dream.

Mingyu in his apartment… it sure feels like one.

Wonwoo tapes the note to his fridge, just to keep. He tracks down his phone, searches for Mingyu’s contact on his favorites list, and hits the “call” button.

-

As March warms up, Mingyu’s Olympic training amps up along with it, and Wonwoo finds himself to be a lot more bored than usual. Without Mingyu’s constant presence, as he’s too busy to hangout between working out and long practices at the arena, there’s a Mingyu-sized hole in Wonwoo’s life that no one else can replace.

They still call, yes, but usually it’s when Mingyu’s at the gym or on his car ride home from practice. They’re short conversations, because Mingyu is exhausted but just wants to hear his voice. 

“I’m falling behind on your streams,” Mingyu whines over the phone. “It sucks. I want to watch them live.”

“You should focus on training,” Wonwoo always chides him, though is secretly pleased that he’s such a high priority for Mingyu. Even if they can’t see each other for a few weeks due to their clashing schedules.

It feels, oddly enough, like they’re dating. Because as far as Wonwoo is aware, the both of them partake in boyfriend behavior. Like good morning and good night texts, everyday, without fail. Daily calls. Sending each other selfies and pictures of what they’re doing. Sometimes talking only to complain about how busy they are.

Hyung, I miss you T_T, Mingyu sends him nearly every day. The next day I’m free, the first thing I’m going to do is see your face.

And stuff like that… well, it doesn’t necessarily feel like things that best friends say to each other. As far as Wonwoo is aware, at least, even though he knows that his own best friends are odd, so he doesn’t really have experience in conventional friendship.

(For example: Soonyoung regularly sends him pictures of his ass whenever he finds a weird mole, saying “Wonwoo, does this look normal to you?”

Every time, without fail, Wonwoo responds with “am I a doctor?”, and Soonyoung keeps on doing it anyhow. That’s probably not a normal thing to partake in, but it’s tradition at this point.)

All of his friends insist that him and Mingyu are practically dating, which freaks him out. Because as far as he’s aware, he never consciously chose to act like that. It just kind of happened. It feels natural, to send Mingyu messages throughout his day and call him with his sleepy voice and save Mingyu’s selfies to his phone. After all, Mingyu’s social media is regularly updated, but he still shows Wonwoo everything first.

You have first dibs, Seungkwan said once, and Wonwoo almost kicked him.

The time apart is killing him. Or at least, it feels like it. The longer he goes without Mingyu, the more it feels like something is missing from his life. It’s jarring that he has come to rely on another person’s presence so much, at least for Wonwoo, but it also all just makes so much sense because it’s Mingyu. Of course he would only feel this for Mingyu, who has wormed his way firmly into Wonwoo’s life and has become a permanent fixture in his daily routine.

Maybe he didn’t realize that he was growing so used to Mingyu’s side hugs and casual touch, or his commentary on Wonwoo’s streams, or his cooking. It’s hard to go so long without him, even if it’s for something as important as the Olympics.

Ugh. He feels so pathetic.

He’s an idiot. He never should’ve gotten so attached to Mingyu, especially when he knew that it’d end up like this. But it’s too late now, especially after everything that’s happened between them. Stopping any sort of contact or creating any kind of distance, even just a little bit, would kill the both of them.

Wonwoo has officially fucked himself over.

-

Several weeks pass by where they only see each other once or twice. As March turns to April, chat reminds him over and over again about his promise to stream with Mingyu, so eventually they set a day up to stream when their schedules align.

Wonwoo would much rather keep Mingyu to himself, away from the camera, just hanging out together, but Mingyu is so excited about it that ignores the urge to hide him away.

Unfortunately. If only he could.

“I just wanna watch you play League,” Mingyu insists as Wonwoo sets up his stream. He’s stubborn. Not any more than Wonwoo is, but still. What a boring idea.

“They would hate that,” Wonwoo counters, adjusting OBS settings to accommodate one mic shared between two people. “They want to watch you play something. Or for us to play something together. What about It Takes Two?”

He glances over at Mingyu, whose jaw is set in defiance. Stubborn boy. “I wanna see you play in person. I’ve wanted to since 2016.”

Ugh. He knows that that’s Wonwoo’s weakness. The whole thing about Mingyu being his number one admirer since ye old 2016. Wonwoo messes with his camera, rolling his eyes. 

“Okay, fine. But only for a little bit. They want to see you play too.”

It’s a compromise, reached only because Wonwoo is soft for what Mingyu wants, and Mingyu is soft for what Wonwoo wants. Go figure.

Wonwoo preps him for the overstimulation of streaming - “when you play, you don’t have to focus on chat too much, I can do that for you” - and tells him to ignore any weird people, because the mods will swiftly take care of them. Mingyu looks nervous as Wonwoo hovers over the “start streaming” button, the Tweet announcing the stream having already been sent out.

“Ready?” He asks, nudging Mingyu in the shoulder.

Mingyu grins. “No,” he says, but gestures for Wonwoo to click the button anyway.

The offline chat slams into them immediately, like a tidal wave. The chat box is moving rapidly before either of them can even blink or say hi. Full of HI MINGYU and omg they’re so hot and AHHHHHHH!!!!!! Wonwoo hums as he reads over chat, using one hand to trace a soothing pattern onto Mingyu’s knee. It’s a lot to handle if you’re not used to it, and Mingyu looks like a deer in headlights.

“Hi guys,” Wonwoo says, waving. “Yes, Mingyu’s here. Mingyu-yah, say hi.”

“Hello, Gamer Boi fans,” Mingyu says, bowing. “It’s an honor to be here.”

Wonwoo looks at the nervousness on his face and snorts. He can’t help it, it’s just so endearing.

wonu_life: mingyu is literally y/n oh my god

wonwoo4pres: it feels like wonwoo has him here so we can approve of their marriage. im delusional.

mingyuuuuuu_stan: MY STREAMRERSSSSSSSS

“Today, we’re going to play League for a bit, since Mingyu wanted me to play for him,” Wonwoo explains as he opens the League application. “Yes, I know it’s boring, but he’s excited, so be nice.”

Mingyu gives him a weird look, Wonwoo’s stern tone unfamiliar to him despite the fact that he’s an avid viewer. Wonwoo grins and elbows him.

“What?”

“It’s weird to see you like this,” Mingyu explains, a little smile on his face. “You’re so different on stream.”

Wonwoo queues them into an ARAM game. “Why? Is that a bad thing?”

Mingyu shakes his head. “Just different.”

“‘Weird coming from the number one fan, I’m going to take your spot,’” Wonwoo reads from chat. “You hear that? They’re planning an uprising.”

“Hey, I’m his favorite, okay?” Mingyu says, glaring at the camera. “Too bad for all of you. I won.”

Wonwoo laughs. Chat fills with kekekes and TRAITOR and I’m going to fight you, Mingyu!!!!

He gets into a game and gets Jinx as his champion. “Oh, I recognize her,” Mingyu says, pointing. “She was in Arcane.”

“You watched Arcane?” Wonwoo asks, surprised.

Mingyu shakes his head. “No, but Seungcheol hyung liked it.”

Oh. That makes sense. Seungcheol is apparently a League player, and occasionally he and Wonwoo talk over Twitter DMs about playing together.

Wonwoo patiently explains mechanics to Mingyu as they load into the game. While Mingyu understands in a general sense how the game works (after all, he’s been watching Wonwoo play it for 8 years), he only knows about things passively. Wonwoo shows him Jinx’s abilities with Q and W and E and shows him how to move and attack with the right click button.

“We build abilities over time, look,” he says as he presses the arrow above his Q ability.

“Sure,” Mingyu says, nodding. “This makes no sense to me.”

It’s funny. It’s kind of like when Wonwoo was helplessly watching him play volleyball, barely understanding what was going on at any given time. As the game starts, Wonwoo leans back in his chair as Mingyu leans forward, staring at the screen, absolutely flabbergasted. 

“You click so fast,” Mingyu says, voice full of wonder. “How do you do that?”

Wonwoo grins. “Oh, Kim Mingyu. You have a lot to learn.”

Mingyu gives Wonwoo 100% of his attention, completely forgetting about chat. It’s cute. Wonwoo reads it enough for the both of them, laughing as Mingyu OOHs and AWWs his playing. It’s been a while since he has been so earnestly complimented over his ability to play League - he supposes that the notoriety wears off after being so good at the game for so long.

“You are cooler than Faker, I swear,” Mingyu promises him after Wonwoo gets an ace. He can only laugh, knowing that that’s getting clipped and will be sent to Faker on Twitter a thousand times.

“Don’t say that,” Wonwoo chides. Faker is the sweetheart of Korean e-sports, and Wonwoo isn’t trying to start a fan war, not again.

It’s really fun, honestly, to explain the game as he plays, especially to someone as attentive as Mingyu. It’s been so long since he’s taught anyone how to play, and Mingyu is easily impressed by Wonwoo’s combos and strats, as he explains how to build util and place certain things where. Wonwoo plays through a few games, mostly because Mingyu insists on it. He’s enraptured by Wonwoo’s playing, and it would be a lie to say that it doesn’t make his ego inflate a bit. Kim Mingyu, who is literally an Olympian, thinks that Jeon Wonwoo is cool.

If it came from anyone else, Wonwoo would never believe them, but Mingyu is nothing if not earnest.

Thankfully, Wonwoo top frags in every game, both in kills and damage. Mingyu is thoroughly impressed, and claps for him every time. Three games later, his head hurts a bit from reading chat for the both of them and playing, so he hands the keyboard and mouse over to Mingyu.

“Okay,” he grins. “Your turn.”

There’s a pause, and then, “You want me to play?” Mingyu asks, shocked. Wonwoo only laughs.

“I told you that I was gonna make you play something.”

“But not League!” Mingyu whines. “Hyung, I’m gonna be so bad. You’re gonna unfriend me and kick me out of your apartment, that’s how bad I am.”

Wonwoo shrugs. “Everyone is bad when they first start. C’mon, just give it a try.”

He walks Mingyu through the controls again, having him play Lux in a practice match. As expected, Mingyu is stellarly bad at it. His fingers aren’t meant for keyboard gaming like Wonwoo’s are, not having the years dedicated to gaming, and he is slow at both moving the mouse and clicking. 

“Nooo, I died,” Mingyu despairs after he accidentally walks into the middle of a 1v1 and dies as collateral.

“Just try staying near the back,” Wonwoo nudges him. “If you hate it so much, we can stop after this.”

He watches, amused, as Mingyu’s expressions hardens into determination. You can count on someone who plays professional sports for a living to never back down from a competition.

“You’re ranked Masters but insta die every minute?” Someone in the game chat says. “Is a literal newborn baby playing on your account?”

Wonwoo turns it off.

Mingyu finally gets an assist several minutes into his first ARAM, and the entirety of chat cheers for him. Wonwoo even claps. Getting a kill would be too much to ask for, not on Wonwoo’s account’s MMR, so he has Mingyu stay near the back and throw Lux’s abilities out every now and then. 

“This is just a clicking simulator,” Mingyu whines, but continues to try his best anyway.

Wonwoo grins. “That’s what everyone says. Come on, go help them destroy the turret.”

By some miracle, Mingyu’s team manages to win. On the scoreboard, Mingyu gets 0/20/2, with a whopping damage of 1k. But he looks overjoyed when Wonwoo says that he’s proud of him, and he queues another. They smile at each other, giggling. 

Who knew that just being together like this, trying what Wonwoo enjoys doing for once, would be so fun? 

wonus_wife: GO MINGYU!!!

t1_fan_boy: hes gonna debut in the LCK just look at him go

jldshgjjashka: okkkkk pop off kingggggg

popepopopepo: i cant decide who im more jealous of T_T

“Look, they’re cheering you on,” Wonwoo nudges him. “Someone said that you could debut in the LCK.”

Mingyu’s face goes red. “Be quiet.”

Wonwoo laughs, leaning into Mingyu’s side. It feels natural to be close to him like this, even on camera. He monitors chat as Mingyu plays Lux again. 

“Get Mingyu on T1,” he reads.

Mingyu whines. “Stop, it’s not funny!”

“Someone else says that you only have to be good at volleyball, so it’s okay,” Wonwoo says. “They’re right. Just leave the gaming to me.”

Mingyu sends him a sideways glance, and then smiles. He pauses for a second too long in the game, and dies instantly. They both burst into laughter.

Look at him, one chatter says. Look at the way Mingyu looks at you.  

And Wonwoo knows. 

He'd have to be stupid to not notice. He would have to be dumber than rocks to not realize that Kim Mingyu, in one way or another, harbors not-so-platonic feelings towards him. After all, that’s what he’s been dealing with over the past couple weeks, the fact that Wonwoo now knows. 

But he isn't stupid. He's a streamer. He's been in the spotlight long enough to know that infatuation towards him means infatuation towards his face, towards his carefully crafted image. Wonwoo has spent over 10 years painstakingly creating himself into something pretty and likable; Kim Mingyu would be an idiot if he didn't fall for it like everyone else does. This is what he’s been saying to Jun, to Soonyoung, to Seungkwan, to everyone who is convinced that Mingyu is the One. 

He could be, maybe, but he’s a fan before he is all of that.

He looks at you like he loves you. The chat gets deleted by a mod. 

Mingyu spawns back in the game, refocused. Wonwoo levels out a sigh, careful to not let it reach the mic, pointedly not looking at the way Mingyu's side profile glows from the blue and purples of the monitor. As he channels towards the turret, Mingyu turns towards him and laughs, eyes squinting from the way his cheeks overtake his face. He looks at Wonwoo so fondly, and he wishes that this was all real.  

“Chat says you look bored,” Mingyu says, grinning. “Am I that boring?”

Wonwoo frowns, blush hidden by the shadows of the dark room. “No. You know you're not.” 

Mingyu laughs again, and nudges him in the shoulder. It's electric, everywhere they touch. Every time. 

“Aww, hyung, don't be so cute.”

Wonwoo knows. His ears and his heart both burn with shame. Here is a boy who loves him for being something that he isn't, and here is Wonwoo loving him in return, feeling like he's desperately chasing after the sun.

The stream, for as fun as it is, is equally just as painful. He stays more quiet after that. If Mingyu notices, he says nothing about it.

-

Life gets overwhelmingly busy very quickly. Mingyu is wrapped up in practice and advertisements for Olympic sponsorships, and Wonwoo is wrapped up in streams and merch drops and brand deals. The downside of being a streamer is that Wonwoo has no days off, not really, not when there’s so much to do.

So when his and Mingyu’s “friendship” falls to the wayside, just a bit, Wonwoo doesn’t have the time to be upset. He just has to keep moving.

They still talk everyday, and Mingyu even posts a picture to Instagram of him wearing GAM3RBO1 merch to practice (ugh, he’s an idiot), but they noticeably talk less. Okay, yes, Wonwoo is bummed about it, but they’re both busy. And it’s not like he could ever possibly be upset at Mingyu for something like that, not ever.

“Hyung!” Mingyu picks up his call one day, voice whiny. “God, it’s been so long, hi.”

Wonwoo smiles. “Mingyu, it has been three days.”

“Boo, you’re lame,” Mingyu says. Then, his voice farther away from the speaker: “Seokmin, go! Leave! I’m talking to Wonwoo hyu- no, I don’t care about your laundry!”

Wonwoo laughs, reclining where he's sitting in his chair, waiting a bit to start stream. “Be nice to Seokmin.”

“No way, he ate my ramyeon,” Mingyu says, whining. “He’s an asshole, don’t be nice to him.”

Wonwoo hums. “Aww, are you jealous?”

Mingyu sighs, dramatic. “Maybe.”

They recount their days, which is jam-packed for the both of them. For some reason, Wonwoo’s popularity has recently spiked again, so he has brand deals every week. Whereas Mingyu is busy with interviews and magazine shoots and commercials as the Olympic season comes closer and closer.

“Speaking of the Olympics-” Mingyu interrupts himself. “You wanna come with me? To Paris?”

Wonwoo blinks. “...Paris?”

“We got extra tickets, so I wanted to invite you,” Mingyu sounds shy, suddenly, and Wonwoo feels something in his chest tighten. 

“Oh,” he says. 

Mingyu wanted to invite him.

He doesn’t know why that makes him feel so… so odd. Obviously they’re close. They’re as close as two people can be without dating, as said by several people in Wonwoo’s life. But it feels so oddly personal to be invited to the Olympics. 

It’s something that is only reserved for the most precious people in Mingyu’s life, obviously, and the fact that Wonwoo is one of them is almost too much to handle. Despite the fact that he already knows.

Wonwoo shakes himself out of that train of thought. He’s reading too much into things. 

“The hotel and flights are paid for,” Mingyu continues, like he needs to convince Wonwoo to come. As if Wonwoo wouldn’t already drop anything and everything just because Mingyu asks him to. “It’ll be fun.”

Wonwoo agrees. Yes, it’ll be… fun. To be with Mingyu in Paris, the city of fucking love, where Mingyu will make his Olympic debut and make Korea proud.

He can’t think of anything worse for his mental health than that, honestly.

Mingyu then says maybe the worst thing he could ever say: “Please come? Aren’t you my best friend, hyung?”

Oh. Oh.

Okay.

That’s a shock to Wonwoo’s system. Best friend. Right.

It shouldn’t bother him - it really shouldn’t. After all, they’ve been called best friends by pretty much everyone, including themselves. So it shouldn’t sting so sharply, to hear best friends come out of Mingyu’s mouth. 

Because that’s what they are. 

He and Mingyu are nothing more than best friends. They aren’t. They are close and they touch but they are nothing more than that, nor will they ever be more than that, all due to Wonwoo’s own decision making. 

It’s not even Mingyu’s fault, and that might be the worst part about this whole thing. All of the blame rests on Wonwoo’s wide, tired shoulders. 

“What about Minghao?” Wonwoo asks, teasing a little bit, because that’s what a normal friend would normally do in this situation. Damn, his heart hurts, and there’s a weird headache coming on all of a sudden. It stings.

“He’s coming, even though he doesn’t want to,” Mingyu sounds exasperated. “If you don’t come too, I’ll be sad.” Then, he adds: “No pressure though.”

Wonwoo laughs, feeling detached from his body and oddly like he wants to cry. “You know me. I’ll be there to support you.”

He will. He will. Mingyu needs his support as a friend and Wonwoo already promised himself that he would be fine with just this, despite his feelings. It’s what he decided months ago, back when he still blushed when Mingyu touched his elbow, back before he knew the way Mingyu’s ears go red when Wonwoo compliments him. 

This is all of Wonwoo’s doing, no one else's. 

They are friends. It’s all that Wonwoo has ever wanted, yet the confirmation feels so much like a betrayal.

“Thanks, hyung, it means a lot to me,” Mingyu says. He can hear the smile in his voice. Wonwoo pictures it in his head, how blinding it is. How Mingyu’s canines poke out. The way his eyes scrunch up. 

Wonwoo smiles despite himself, blinking back tears. “No problem.”

-

“Hyung, you’re running yourself into the ground,” Chan says over VC. “I can hear it in your voice.”

They just finished stream. Wonwoo blinks at his second monitor, perplexed. Sure, he’s been a little depressed these few weeks with less and less Mingyu around him, but he thought he hid it pretty well. No one in his chat has picked up on his exhaustion yet, the way it runs bone deep. 

Not even Mingyu can tell on their phone calls. He thinks that everything is fine because Wonwoo tells him that it is. 

“Channie, I’m fine.”

“Is it because of Mingyu?” Chan asks, persistent. Wonwoo would rather be anywhere else right now. Because no matter how many times they have this conversation, it always leads back to the same place. Over and over again. “Are you still obsessed with the idea that he’s just a fan, hyung? Because we both know that that’s a lie.”

Okay, that stings a little bit. Wonwoo frowns. “Everything’s fine. Mingyu and I are friends.”

They are. They are friends, best friends, and that’s it. 

Chan says nothing, and then sighs. “You know, we all hate it when you’re like this. When you deny yourself of something that you want.”

Something that you want. It’s funny - Mingyu is everything that he wants. But everyone already knows this.

“I’m not,” he says.

“You are,” Chan presses, voice increasing in volume. It’s unlike Chan to push so hard like this - he always plays the role of mediator. So it puts Wonwoo on guard, confused, as Chan says heavily into his microphone: “He likes you, hyung, really, and you’re just ignoring it.”

Wonwoo is… well, upset. He makes it sound so fucking simple, when it’s really not. Wonwoo is a little offended and a little tired and a little something else that makes him scoff. “He likes me because I’m his streamer, Chan, I’m not an idiot. Leave it alone.”

It’s true. True enough. Wonwoo isn’t an idiot. He knows what Mingyu wants from him and knows what he wants from Mingyu, and he knows that those two things aren’t perfectly aligned as everyone thinks they are. Everyone else thinks that they’ve got the two of them figured out, but they’re all wrong.

When Chan speaks, he sounds upset, and it’s so unfamiliar that Wonwoo actually recoils where he’s sitting in his seat. “You’re being unfair to him, hyung. He likes you and you’re leading him on because you won’t give him a chance.”

And that… that feels like a whip to the face.

He’s never thought of it like that, but Chan is right. Like, really. He’s leading Mingyu on, letting him believe that maybe there could one day be something between them, when there couldn’t.

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? There can’t be. Not ever. Maybe he should’ve left while he still had the chance. Even though it’s too late now. Too late to turn back, too late to try and take back the bond that’s been forged between him and Mingyu, which now runs deep in the both of them. Much too deep to deny, much too deep to ignore.

Wonwoo says nothing. There’s no hiding this from Chan, who is particularly well-versed in Wonwooism. He can tell Wonwoo’s mood based on the tone of his voice alone, and Wonwoo can’t hide the way his voice shakes, the fear in it.

“Hyung,” Chan says. “Please.”

Wonwoo takes a deep breath. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he says, because he doesn’t. “I like him so much, Chan, it’s killing me.” Because that is the truth. Mingyu’s love is suffocating and deadly and even then, Wonwoo can’t get enough.

“You love him,” Chan repeats. “And he loves you. Hyung.”

He doesn’t even have to say it. No one has to, not anymore, and suddenly Wonwoo can’t breathe.

Mingyu is everything he has ever wanted - he is handsome and strong and kind and good at cooking. He is nice to everyone and makes friends wherever he goes and always puts Wonwoo first. He’s so gentle, so loving, and Wonwoo can’t breathe because it’s terrifying.

There’s so much love between the two of them, despite what Wonwoo does or says, and he doesn’t know what to do with all of it. He doesn’t know where to put his love, his hands, not when it all belongs to Mingyu and all of the fondness he shows him. Mingyu is so sweet, he is perfect, and Wonwoo feels like he could suffocate because of it.

“Hyung,” Chan says. “Hyung.”

Wonwoo doesn’t deserve Mingyu. It’s true - he doesn’t. It’s a fact. Yet Mingyu loves him, despite the sarcasm and his nagging and the fact that Wonwoo can barely take care of himself. Mingyu loves him and Wonwoo loves him back, but there’s nothing he can do about it because he doesn’t deserve Mingyu.

He’s just a fan, remember? The cruel part of his brain reminds him. And how do we feel about fans?

Wonwoo remembers. He is supposed to keep his distance. He is supposed to be detached. He is never supposed to engage in their feelings, their affection, and he’s broken every rule.

There is no chance that he comes out of this unscathed. His love for Mingyu is a cruel, overwhelming thing, and Wonwoo feels like he’s falling. He’s falling, deeper and deeper, and there’s no stopping it. 

You did this, his brain reminds him again. No one did this except for you.

“Hyung?” Chan asks, sounding panicked, because he knows. “Can you breathe?”

Wonwoo sniffles as a single, comical tear rolls down one cheek. He is fucked, he is doomed, and he did all of it to himself. Mingyu wasn’t the one who doomed them, it was all Wonwoo.

“Chan,” he laughs. It’s a wet, unamused thing. He is so, so tired. He wants to lay down under the covers and never speak to anyone again. He wants to flee to the countryside. He wants to rest, run away from his life and from his feelings. “I really don’t think that I can do this anymore.”

Chapter Text

Jeon Wonwoo is not fine.

Everything these days edges on the side of too much happening all at once. When he streams, the pace at which chat moves is overwhelming. When Mingyu calls him, the softness of his voice is overwhelming. When Wonwoo makes his dinner, the sound of water boiling is overwhelming. 

The worst part is that it’s all his fault. No one else’s.

Wonwoo’s anxiety has become less of the monster in the back of his mind, and has now graduated to being at the forefront of everything. He doesn’t go to networking events. Every photoshoot feels like he’s being exposed and ripped open. It plagues his whole life even more than it already always has. Something has to give, soon, he can feel it. 

He was a fool for thinking that he could just simply fall in love with Kim Mingyu without suffering any of the consequences. 

Ever since he ended up crying his heart out over VC to Chan, his friends have started to steer clear about all things pertaining to Mingyu. He should be overjoyed about that development, but he really just feels empty. There’s no more teasing, no more nagging. Just Wonwoo sitting in the quiet of his apartment, stuck to face his own feelings alone. 

And does he stop talking to Mingyu? No, of course he doesn’t. He’s an idiot.

Mingyu is the same as ever - he’s perfect. He treats Wonwoo like he’s precious, and it fucking hurts his soul. That’s how it feels nowadays to be around Mingyu, feeling heartache down to his very soul.

They still call when they can. They text all the time. When Wonwoo streams, he thinks about how Mingyu is out there watching his every move, and even that becomes too much to handle. He cuts down from streaming five hours a day to four, and then three, and then eventually only two. His viewers notice, of course they do, but Wonwoo answers none of their questions and prays that everyone will just leave him alone. 

Spoiler alert: they don’t. 

“Twitter thinks that you have depression,” Seungkwan mentions during a hangout. He and Soonyoung and Jihoon came over because Wonwoo didn’t want to be out; the idea of being approached by a fan while he’s like this has caused him to never leave the house unless he needs to. 

“Twitter is stupid,” Wonwoo mutters, poking at the kimchi jeon that Soonyoung brought. It doesn’t taste like Mingyu’s, and it’s bothering him.

“Just stop isolating yourself,” Jihoon suggests, because he’s an asshole. “You’re making it worse.”

Of course the guy with the emotional range of a teaspoon has decided to give Wonwoo advice about leaving the house. Go figure. 

“Wonwoo is-“ Soonyoung starts, and then stops. “Uh. Trying his best.”

His sentence trails off at the end like a question. Wonwoo rolls his eyes. 

“I can still function, you know.”

“You call this functioning, huh?” Seungkwan says, voice full of wonder. He gestures to the trash piling up in the trash can and the dishes piling up in the sink. Wonwoo has been feeding Seollie more than he’s been feeding himself, recently, only leaving the house to take her on walks and it shows. “Hyung, you haven't been like this in years.”

Wonwoo hums noncommittally. The subtext of this conversation is: solve things with Mingyu or go back to therapy. Even though no one has said either of those things yet, it’s clear through the gentle way they prod at him to do literally anything else besides stew in his own misery.

He can’t believe it has been years since things have last been this bad - he remembers everything like it was yesterday. His periods of not leaving the house, retreating into his shell, streaming only out of necessity. Over the past few months that Kim Mingyu has been in his life, he was living so free of his own anxieties. He can’t believe that he managed to forget what it means to be inoperable just because he’s in love with some hot guy.

Ugh. Fuck.

“I'll get my life back together soon,” he promises, though his voice is lacking resolve. It doesn’t sound convincing in the slightest. 

The three of them exchange looks, literally right in front of him. Soonyoung sighs.

“No one is like, mad that your life isn’t together,” he says gently. “We’re just worried.” He looks back at the other two pointedly, who slowly nod. Seungkwan looks like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it (good). Jihoon doesn’t hide the pity in his expression.

It’s whatever. It’s not like Wonwoo expected anything different out of the three of them. 

“Just give me some time,” Wonwoo says, even though that’s a lie. “I’ll figure this all out.”

Soonyoung nods, even though he must see through him anyway. And that’s the end of that.

-

One day, Mingyu invites him out to go to a park - and because Wonwoo hates himself, he agrees.

As far as Mingyu knows, Wonwoo is just as well adjusted as he was when they last hung out, back before Wonwoo had his existential crisis and his mind spiraled into chaos. Mingyu had asked him over text why he was cutting down his streaming time, and Wonwoo blamed it on just not feeling well (as lame as the excuse was, it worked). So in order to keep up the act, he should attend their hangouts and act as normal as possible.

Sounds easy enough.

“Hyung, you beat me here,” Mingyu runs up to him at exactly 2:59 PM, acting like he’s running behind even though he’s right on time. “Have you been waiting long?”

There’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead and his hair is windswept and his tanned face glows in the sun. Wonwoo stares.

Fuck, I love him.

“Hyung?” Mingyu steps closer. Out of instinct, Wonwoo backs away.

“Oh, sorry, it’s fine. I just got here.”

“Hm.” Mingyu tilts his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Are you okay?”

No, I’m not, Wonwoo wants to say. You’re haunting the edges of my vision and I dream about you every night. It’s the truth and Wownwoo is tired of hiding it - not that he can say that, though. His smile is tight lipped as he says, “Yeah, just tired.”

He’s just so, so tired these days. Mingyu believes him.

It’s a cold and wet dreary April day. Mingyu dries his face with the back of his hoodie sleeve and Wonwoo just stares.

“Did you wanna do anything in particular today?” Mingyu asks him.

Wonwoo shrugs. “This was your idea.”

After a moment of contemplation, Mingyu grabs his hand and drags him over to the volleyball sand pits, which is when he takes a volleyball out his bag. “If I get to choose,” he says with a grin. “I’m going to teach you how to play.”

Wonwoo’s stomach drops. 

Oh no.

“I don’t think you realize how bad I am at sports,” Wonwoo tries to get him to see reason. “I haven’t done anything since PE in high school.”

Mingyu laughs. “That’s what I said about League, but you still made me play anyway, right?” 

Fuck, he’s right. 

“Just try it out.”

Wonwoo would actually rather die, but lets Mingyu place him in front of the net. It’s much taller than it looks from far away in the stands. It’s not often that Wonwoo feels short, but compared to the net, he’s feeling that now. 

Wonwoo sends Mingyu a sideways glance. “This is a bad idea.”

Mingyu laughs, and even in this small, overgrown sandpit, he’s glowing. His presence is larger than life, especially as he holds a volleyball in his hand. He has a perfect athlete’s build and he is an Olympian, but he’s going to teach Wonwoo how to play volleyball. Unathletic, unassuming, chronically lame Wonwoo.

“Trust me, you’ll be okay. Here, watch me.”

Mingyu shows him the form for receiving - legs spread, arms together. He tells Wonwoo to not make a fist, but to put his hands next to each other. It feels… awkward. Mingyu makes him mime the receiving motion in the air without the ball and it feels like flailing. 

Wonwoo sighs. “Mingyu, I feel stupid.”

“No, your form is good so far,” Mingyu insists, circling around him. “It feels awkward, right? It’s supposed to.”

“Surely not.”

“I swear, I swear,” Mingyu says. “Look, do you wanna try it with the ball? I’ll just toss it over the net, and you receive it.”

Wonwoo adjusts his glasses and levels him with a glare as Mingyu jogs around to the other side of the net. If he was a dog, his tail would be wagging right now. Fuck. It’s a little cute.

“Get ready!” Mingyu calls out.

Wonwoo frowns. “Be gentle. I’ve seen you spike, and it’s scary.”

Mingyu laughs. “I teach kids all the time, I’m gentle. Are you ready? I’m going!”

The ball arcs towards Wonwoo, not even in the form of a spike, as Mingyu tosses it over the net. He feels it coming closer and closer, as if in slow motion, and he can’t help but close his eyes in a wince as it hits his wrists.

It bounces up, towards him, and hits Wonwoo squarely in the forehead. 

“Ow, fuck,” he hisses, clutching onto his glasses. Thankfully, they didn’t get hit.

“Shit, are you okay?” Mingyu asks, jogging back around to come close and inspect him. Wonwoo grimaces as Mingyu takes his cheeks in his hands and looks over his forehead. He can feel it turn sore and red without even looking. 

Great, now he looks like an idiot too.

“Mingyu.”

“At least you’re okay,” Mingyu says, looking relieved. “I promise it’s not always that bad. Sometimes it happens.”

“I was not intended to play sports,” Wonwoo groans, removing Mingyu’s hands from his face. “My face is the only thing I’ve got and now it’s ruined.”

Mingyu snorts, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t be silly, you look fine. Let’s try again?”

He phrases it as a question, but Wonwoo is aware that it isn’t really a question. Mingyu is staring down at him with those big ol’ puppy eyes, exploiting Wonwoo’s weakness against him. As predicted, he crumbles instantly.

“Fine,” he grumbles. “But if I get hit again, I’m suing you.”

Mingyu grins. “Okay, I’ll be careful.”

They toss the ball back and forth a few times before Wonwoo warms up to the idea of receiving again. It takes the promise of a meal the next time they hangout for Mingyu to convince him to get back into position. Wonwoo complies with a little bit of whining, just because he can, and he’s tired. 

“Hyung, try angling your hands down, away from you,” Mingyu calls. Wonwoo listens. “Okay, good. If the angle is facing towards you, it’ll hit you in the face again, so let’s avoid that.”

Wonwoo wants to die.

The ball comes in a gentle arc, yet again. It hits Wonwoo’s bony wrists - which hurts, by the way - but thankfully this time the ball just spins off to the side and lands in the sand.

Oh. Cool.

“Good job!” Mingyu grins. “It takes a lot of practice to be able to receive it forward, but that's a  good start.”

Wonwoo makes a face. “My wrists hurt.”

“You get used to it. Let’s try spiking!”

Mingyu shows him how to spike, which is much easier than receiving by a long shot. Luckily, Wonwoo is fine at jumping, even if landing in the sand hurts his ankles a bit. Mingyu’s tosses manage to land right where his hand hits every time, which makes Wonwoo suspect that Mingyu is also a decent setter. He’d be a liar if he said that hitting the ball isn’t somewhat gratifying. Sports must be good for letting your frustrations out.

“You’ll be coming for my spot as the ace any time now,” Mingyu says when they take a water break. Wonwoo rolls his eyes and swats him on the shoulder.

Next is serving, which is hard. The ball always flies too close or too far for him to hit properly, and it definitely doesn’t help when Mingyu shows him his jump serve, which is powerful enough to blow someone’s arm clean off. Wonwoo’s jaw drops when the ball lands on the other side of the net, just before the out line. 

“You want me to do that?” He says, incredulous.

Mingyu laughs. “No, I just wanted to see if it would impress you. Here, this is how you do a basic serve.”

Most of Wonwoo’s serves hit the net, but one or two soar over. The ball is hard to control, often going out of bounds, but Mingyu cheers him on each time anyway. Wonwoo gives up after a few of them. 

“I’m so tired,” he groans. His energy is steadily going down to 0.

Mingyu smiles. “All that’s left is blocking. Then we’ll call it a day, okay?”

An Olympian’s stamina is no joke. Wonwoo has no idea how he’s supposed to jump even more. Mingyu shows him the posture for jumping, and Wonwoo tries to imitate him.

“Like this?”

“Hmm,” Mingyu says, “no, move your hips back. See?”

Wonwoo tries again. “This is the most that my hips move.”

Mingyu frowns, moving to come behind him. Without warning, Mingyu’s hands drop to either side of his hips, trying to show Wonwoo how to move them. 

Mingyu has touched him there a couple times before, casually. And yet, this touch is searing. Mingyu’s hands are big, wide, all encompassing, way too powerful. They burn his skin through his clothes, and something in Wonwoo that is terrified and ready to flee snaps.

Completely against his own will, Wonwoo flinches, jerking away, stepping away from the touch. He puts one, two, three feet of space between them, clutching the volleyball to his chest, face burning.

Fuck. He can’t do this.

“Hyung?” Mingyu asks, looking a little shocked and crestfallen. There’s a part of Wonwoo that feels the urge to smooth his expression over, to ease the tense of his jaw back into relaxation, but that part of him is quickly overshadowed by the need to run away.

He needs to go. Now.

“I need to, uh, go to the bathroom,” Wonwoo says quickly, looking around, avoiding meeting Mingyu’s eyes. He hands the volleyball back over gingerly. “Sorry. I’ll be back.”

“Hyung-” Mingyu starts to say, but Wonwoo is already running off, running away. His ears and neck burn hot with shame and there’s a stray tear springing to his eye and the April wind feels like a whip to the face.

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu calls after him, sounding stressed, and Wonwoo does not look back even once.

Idiot, his brain tells him.

Yeah, whatever. He fucking knows.

-

The rest of the hangout is stilted, and Wonwoo shies away from touches and looks. Mingyu drops him back off at home with little fanfare, and they don’t text for the rest of the day.

Wonwoo should feel ashamed, but a part of him is just relieved. 

He skips stream because the idea of Mingyu watching his face, his every move, is too much to bear. He eats cup ramyeon and takes Seollie on a walk and keeps his eyes down on the ground. As far as he’s aware, no one spares him a glance as he takes her around the block. Seollie must sense Wonwoo’s bad mood, because she curls up next to him when they get home and doesn’t leave his side.

After a few hours of stewing in his misery, he calls Jun. Jun is the only person in their friend group who knows how to be logical, and Wonwoo could really use someone logical right now.

“Do I need to hurt anyone?” Jun asks when he picks up. “Or are you in danger?”

Wonwoo picks at a loose thread on his hoodie. “No.”

Jun lets out a sigh. “Okay, good. What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t say what’s good, or what’s up, or what’s going on. He says what’s wrong, because he knows that something is wrong. Wonwoo feels guilty to have such good friends, no matter how much they drive him crazy.

“Uh,” Wonwoo considers. “Everything.”

Which is true. Everything in his life is steadily going to shit, and Wonwoo is largely helpless in the face of adversity. 

Jun just hums. “I know. I was waiting for your call.”

Go figure. Wonwoo grimaces.

“Do you have any ideas on how to get my life together?”

It’s a silly question, he knows, and it doesn’t help that Wonwoo’s own voice betrays his insecurity. Jun makes a long hmmm sound on the other side of the call, like he’s seriously contemplating the answer to all of Wonwoo’s problems. 

Maybe he should go back to therapy - Jun isn’t the best replacement, after all.

“Well, you could start by dealing with the Mingyu thing,” is Jun’s first suggestion, which Wonwoo should’ve seen coming. “Or maybe your imposter syndrome. Which one is more dire?”

Wonwoo huffs. “My whole life is dire.”

“Okay, well, let’s calm down,” which is a lot coming from Jun, of all people - who is even stranger than Wonwoo is, despite his deceptively handsome face. “Let’s start with this: how are you dealing with the Mingyu thing?”

“Um…” Wonwoo blinks. “Badly?”

“What was the checklist again?” Jun asks. They used to run through it all the time, back when Wonwoo was severely depressed as a teenager, as a part of his safety plan. “Are you isolating?”

“Yes.”

“Not eating?”

“Yes.”

“Being mean to yourself?”

“...Yes.”

“Sounds bad,” Jun agrees. “You should really get a therapist, you know. I’m not qualified at all.”

Which Wonwoo knows. He rolls his eyes. “Thank you, Jun.”

“But while we’re here, we may as well talk it through,” Jun offers. “What’s been on your mind the most recently?”

It’s a dumb question, half because Wonwoo doesn’t know, and half because his subconscious is a steady stream of Mingyu Mingyu Mingyu Mingyu Mingyu. Which everyone knows already. He’s been in a daze recently, floating between anxiety over Mingyu and anxiety over being anxious. He ping-pongs back and forth between the two at any given moment.