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Dear Hey Ezreal,
Now, this is probably going to come off as self-centered as shit but I've had this question in my mind ever since you left and became this huge thing you are today; do you ever think about me?
Do you think about the sleepovers? The pillow forts? The picnics? The birthday gifts? The times our parents would get together and embarrass the shit out of both of us?
Because I think about it all the time. Actually, no, scratch that, I think about you all the time. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your voice, your…everything. You never leave my mind, it kind of scares me a little.
It's scary to think that, despite being angry at you for leaving me – leaving us – behind, I still want the best for you, I still want your happiness, still want to see you smile, even if it's through a tiny screen.
And I do. I get to see your smile on the big billboards by the road, on magazine covers, on the TV, but it's not the same smile I used to see.
It always shined brighter when you were with me.
I'm not gonna lie, I get just a little jealous whenever I see you surrounded by people. Seeing them so up and close to you as if they even deserve to breathe the same air as you, as if they know you. That's my spot, I'm supposed to be the one next to you. They don't know your favorite song (you tell them it's Bohemian Rhapsody when it's actually I Want You Back by The Jackson 5). They don't know your favorite movie (they think it's The Maze Runner, it's actually Dead Poets Society). They don't know how the stars in your eyes shine as you gush about some book you really liked. They don't know where you used to keep the little trinkets you would find at the beach. They don't know you like I do.
The fact that they think they're worthy of existing in the same plane of existence as you is infuriating, because you're just that special. You brighten up the sky in ways the stars could only ever dream of. And I would know that better than anyone, because I got to experience it first hand. From the day you found me sitting alone during recess, to the day you encouraged me to pursue music, to today.
It's crazy to think that a few years ago, the only person who'd have the pleasure of hearing you sing was me. Now you sing for thousands – millions even.
You've accomplished so much so fast, if it almost feels unreal to me, I wonder what it feels like to you. I hear your music everywhere. On the radio, from cars passing through the street, in the mall. Speaking of which, I also see people sing along, I even see them stop to dance to it and embarrass themselves publicly, that's how much people love you.
You're (still) amazing. You're a star Ez.
Still, I can't help but wonder if you're still the same soul I met under the bleachers. If you're the same kid who wouldn't hurt a fly but would still jump at anyone who says they would. I guess I'll never know.
But I'm okay with that. I'm okay with knowing that as long as you're doing what you love, you'll be as happy as you were with me. If you're ever not, I want you to know that, if I'm not the one coming to you, you'll always find me here, where I always am. Lounging under the bleachers, waiting for you.
God, I think I've rambled on for long enough. I don't even know why I'm writing, this letter is never gonna find you anyway. Though I wish it could, someway, without needing to send it to you.
I just have so many things I wanted to say to you that I never had the chance to, but now that you're gone, I don't know what to do.
I miss you, Ez.
Sincerely,
Your best friend.
—————
Teary eyed, Ezreal folded the piece of paper back in on itself. Placing it on the desk he had gotten it from, while looking for the K/DA record that Kayn had definitely stolen from him.
He left the red LED lit room and closed the door behind him, softly so as to not alarm everyone else in the house. He slowly made his way through the hallway and down the stairs, stopping behind the couch where the fuchsia haired man had been sitting.
The greenhead stood there for a few seconds before diving in and hugging the man from behind, burying his face in the crook of said man's neck.
Kayn paused whatever he was doing on his phone to address the koala clinging on to him, “Uh…hi?” He felt the man hum into his neck as he tightened his grip around his shoulders.
Before Kayn could say anything else, Ezreal jumped over the back of the couch and landed on his lap, hugging him once again, “You're such a sap.” He said as he buried his face into the man again, this time his chest.
Kayn still had a puzzled expression on his face, “Did I miss anything?” He asked, before remembering why Ezreal was upstairs in the first place. He had sent the greenhead up to his room to prove that he hadn't, in fact, stolen the K/DA record. It took him a few more seconds to remember the little thing he had left on his desk the other night.
Oh no.
“You didn't.” He said as he stared at a fixed point in front of him, his confused expression being replaced with one of pure horror.
It got worse when the man on his lap started giggling, “I totally did.” He pulled away from the warm touch of the man's chest and cupped his face with both his hands, squeezing it so that his lips would pucker up, “You're so cute.”
Oh this was embarrassing. Kayn only groaned and covered his reddening face with his hands in response, pulling away from the other man, “Ugh, god…”
Ezreal watched the scene unfold with a sickeningly fond smile plastered on his face, he placed his hands over Kayn's bigger ones, pulling them away from his face. “Hey.” Kayn's gaze rose to meet his, face red as a cherry. Ezreal's smile widened before he cupped the man's face once again, pulling it towards him and kissing every spot before he got to his lips.
“I missed you too.”
💜💚