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It had been days, and not a single notification from your phone was a message from Ian. Of course you sent messages to try and start something but not even an indication of ‘read’ was given to ease your worry about Ian.
Periods of not texting weren't uncommon, but for days at a time without even say, a funny picture? That's unusual. Your worry urged you to turn off ‘Do Not Disturb’ for once, ready for the moment you'd hear from him.
A small part of you wished it stayed that way.
It was around half past two when you heard your phone ring, scaring you out of a drowsy daze since your phone has rarely been off ‘do not disturb’. But you were delighted to read the caller ID of Ian. A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. Now excited yet relieved that even if it was late, even though you were fighting to keep your eyes open, you finally heard back from Ian!
You wished you didn't.
Picking up the call you eagerly greeted him with a cheerful yet tired “Hii Ian!” but then grew confused to hear his heavy breathing? He’s out of breath?
“Ian?” You spoke, confusion in your voice as your brows furrowed.
“H-Hey, [Y/n]..” His voice was shaky and fragile, like even the slightest breeze would shatter it like glass. “I think I just messed up…” He swallowed thickly “Really bad.. Please don’t be mad…” He added, voice meak.
Alright, What the hell is going on? You sat up in your bed, your drowsy feeling subsiding as concern and worry filled your head.
“Ian? What’s going on? Are you okay??” You almost sounded panicked. “Whatever it is, it can't be that bad?” You tried to reassure him through your worry, although difficult when you couldn’t get a good read on wha—
“I cheated..”
… You froze, your words died in your throat.
“I’m sorry– So, so sorry.. I- It was a mistake!” He stammered, calling your name, he couldn’t even begin to imagine your reaction. “This is the only time this has ever happened.. And I- I was drunk, [Y/n]..”
You said nothing. Your blood ran cold listening to him dig a bigger hole for himself.
Your jaw clenched hearing a muffled voice in the background. It didn't feel real. He was still with them?? It felt like a bad dream. He didn't think to leave the room to make this kind of phone call?
“Did you go all the way?” The words tumbled out of your mouth, you're not even sure if you want to know the answer.
The other line went silent.
“I see.”
“[Y/n]—”
You cut him off by hanging up the phone. You were greeted with your lock screen, a pang of hurt in your heart bloomed seeing a photo of you and the cheat who just called. Your lip twitched and you quickly pulled down the notifications bar and tapped the ‘Do Not Disturb’ setting.
2:48 am.
Your phone screen lit up with his caller ID once again, this time with no sound. You scowled at the sight of his name, the photo you chose. Denying the call you slammed your phone onto the nightstand.
You sit there staring at your hands. The silence was deafening. Your heart felt like it was being crushed. You felt sick. He was your everything, you thought you were his everything. But it seems you're wrong, it seems you never were.
All you can imagine is who the hell he would've betrayed you with. Man? Woman? What did they look like? What happened? Who started it? Why in the hell did it happen? You don't seek the comforts of another lover when you're lonely, and for fucks sake he could barely even look you in the eyes when you didn't have a shirt on how the hell did he fuck someone else?? Then would that mean this isn't the first time? He says it is but there's really no way of knowing since he can't even stay faithful—
You shake your head. There's no point in thinking like that, trauma isn't something you should use as a weapon..
Your head drops to your hands, you feel sick. You don't want to know the answer to anything right now. You feel like crying. You didn't expect this from Ian, not in a million years, especially since adultery is a sin.
You sigh, running your fingers through your hair and dragging it back down your face. That wasn't fair, but he wasn't fair either. Wouldn't betrayal have you smiled by a God or something? In some religions maybe.
You lay back down. You don't have the energy to cry. Maybe tomorrow when the full weight has hit you.
You reach over to your phone to check the time. When the screen illuminates you see.. an ungodly amount of message notifications. Your lip twitches.
3:01 am.
Just as you see your lock screen fades, your heart aches again.
“Fuck…” You curse, laying on your back, hands draped over your stomach as you stare at the ceiling.
‘Maybe this is just a bad dream..’
Tomorrow. That's when you'd deal with this. You close your eyes and begin to slowly drift off to sleep.
You didn't sleep soundly.